Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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RE: Read tagging & geo tagging - one of the reasons I haven't gotten an iphone (droid user here) is specifically because I don't want my obsessive mind latching onto something that is essentially irrelevant. It's the absolute last thing I need.

Whatsapp and fb messenger on Android don't have that? Should buy an android burner phone lol
 
I'm fucking pathetic. It's been four years (to the day) and I'm still not over my ex. We don't talk. Haven't in over a year. Yet I still can't hold a relationship for over two months because I'm constantly comparing my new girlfriends to my ex... and they never stack up.

I'm at a complete loss at this point. I've done everything I can do to try and move on, and yet, nothing seems to work. Part of me thinks that maybe I'm still searching for some kind of closure, and that if I were to see her today, maybe that'd be the final piece of the puzzle that finally allows me to let go of whatever it is I'm holding onto. Of course, there's also the risk that seeing her would bring back a massive rush of emotions and fuck me up even further, but at this point I'm so tired of having her haunt me and my new relationships that I think it might be worth the risk.

Anyone have any encouraging stories on getting over an ex?
 
I'm fucking pathetic. It's been four years (to the day) and I'm still not over my ex. We don't talk. Haven't in over a year. Yet I still can't hold a relationship for over two months because I'm constantly comparing my new girlfriends to my ex... and they never stack up.

I'm at a complete loss at this point. I've done everything I can do to try and move on, and yet, nothing seems to work. Part of me thinks that maybe I'm still searching for some kind of closure, and that if I were to see her today, maybe that'd be the final piece of the puzzle that finally allows me to let go of whatever it is I'm holding onto. Of course, there's also the risk that seeing her would bring back a massive rush of emotions and fuck me up even further, but at this point I'm so tired of having her haunt me and my new relationships that I think it might be worth the risk.

Anyone have any encouraging stories on getting over an ex?

I don't know man, sounds shitty. Maybe see a counselor?

The way I get over an ex is to remember that there was a reason why we broke up. If everything was perfect we'd still be together. So I remember the shitty aspects and then think, "oh yeah, it wasn't all roses all the time," and then I don't feel like missing or wanting her anymore.
 
Yep, I think about texting an ex of mine almost every day. Then I remember why we're not together (marriage and kids very soon is not for me), and chill out.

Dating a ton of other girls helps me too. And working on my business.
 
I'm at it again. This is a story that has more than one month and I already talked about it here, but I feel like putting this out to make sure I'm not missing anything.

There's this co-worker of mine that is on another department that a few months ago started pushing things toward me. I kinda fancied here; we would always joke around and but I was always trying to keep a distance because of the co-worker part. Well, I ended up on asking her out and she was clearly happy about it and agreed on it for that week's Sunday. I asked for her number to work things out, but never got it. We were at work and we don't have our phones with us, though. The day before, Saturday, we had coinciding shifts, so before her shift ended she came to my department, where I'd never seen her before, and told me about something that I had already been told - about a request from a customer. Since I was in a hurry to work on that, when I finished she had already gone.

This was during New Year's week. After New Year's I had only the second day of January to work before having my two week holiday, so after this failure on making the date happen, I approached her and asked for her number so we could actually arrange things better this time, after telling her that I was going to be out for two weeks. She joked about me still being there after a while because I'm always in a hurry at work, I guess. Unluckily for me, as I was talking to her my boss came to the room and I had to go away. Then my two weeks started and I made my mind that I would forget about this. When I got back from holidays, though, I encountered her and she was very joyful and trying to talk to me, and even came to help me without me asking for anything. I was like whatever, she's just being kind lmao. Then a few days ago I encountered her again and went with a Hey how you doing and she just smiled and winked at me. I mean, I get the hint, but I thought things would die after these two weeks away.

Well, just the fact that I'm writing this shows that I get myself thinking on it, but I'm not sure how I really feel about it - asking her out again or her number again feels a bit too much. We didn't really get things arranged properly the first time, though. I'm thinking on asking her out for a coffee after work when I have the chance, so that way she can give me her number in a proper place and we get to talk and know eachother.
 
I'm at it again. This is a story that has more than one month and I already talked about it here, but I feel like putting this out to make sure I'm not missing anything.

There's this co-worker of mine that is on another department that a few months ago started pushing things toward me. I kinda fancied here; we would always joke around and but I was always trying to keep a distance because of the co-worker part. Well, I ended up on asking her out and she was clearly happy about it and agreed on it for that week's Sunday. I asked for her number to work things out, but never got it. We were at work and we don't have our phones with us, though. The day before, Saturday, we had coinciding shifts, so before her shift ended she came to my department, where I'd never seen her before, and told me about something that I had already been told - about a request from a customer. Since I was in a hurry to work on that, when I finished she had already gone.

This was during New Year's week. After New Year's I had only the second day of January to work before having my two week holiday, so after this failure on making the date happen, I approached her and asked for her number so we could actually arrange things better this time, after telling her that I was going to be out for two weeks. She joked about me still being there after a while because I'm always in a hurry at work, I guess. Unluckily for me, as I was talking to her my boss came to the room and I had to go away. Then my two weeks started and I made my mind that I would forget about this. When I got back from holidays, though, I encountered her and she was very joyful and trying to talk to me, and even came to help me without me asking for anything. I was like whatever, she's just being kind lmao. Then a few days ago I encountered her again and went with a Hey how you doing and she just smiled and winked at me. I mean, I get the hint, but I thought things would die after these two weeks away.

Well, just the fact that I'm writing this shows that I get myself thinking on it, but I'm not sure how I really feel about it - asking her out again or her number again feels a bit too much. We didn't really get things arranged properly the first time, though. I'm thinking on asking her out for a coffee after work when I have the chance, so that way she can give me her number in a proper place and we get to talk and know eachother.

Don't shit where you eat.
 
Dont date coworkers. The only reason I ever tell someone not to go for it is when they are a coworker. Just don't do it.

We had that talk already in here. It's not a issue because this is a part-time job at retail where I won't be for long, she works in a different department, and I feel like I'm mature enough to get over it if things don't work out.
 
We had that talk already in here. It's not a issue because this is a part-time job at retail where I won't be for long, she works in a different department, and I feel like I'm mature enough to get over it if things don't work out.

If you have no intention of staying there in the lomg terms its ok. But dont think that because you "think" you can get over it it magically will not end badly. You wouldn't be the first person to believe that.
 
If you have no intention of staying there in the lomg terms its ok. But dont think that because you "think" you can get over it it magically will not end badly. You wouldn't be the first person to believe that.

I get what you're saying. In this case that isn't really the issue, though, since this job is temporary.
 
Bah. Girl I was seeing casually decided to go back to her ex. Unfortunate and kind of stings but such is life and we've been friends for 14 years before hand but ehhh guess it's just to hard to break that barrier
 
Guess I was overthinking it. She just texted me saying she's trying to get into work early so she can get out early.

I even had a dream last night where my phone was acting bugging as hell and I was freaking out. I was having a sleep paralysis trying to wake myself up. :-/

Edit-now she said so far no luck. She won't get off until 7. lets see about picking her up at 8.

Now she also says she has to stop by the bank too. She said 8 is fine unless she's running really late. Smh. Maybe I'm not overthinking it.
 
Guess I was overthinking it. She just texted me saying she's trying to get into work early so she can get out early.

I even had a dream last night where my phone was acting bugging as hell and I was freaking out. I was having a sleep paralysis trying to wake myself up. :-/

Edit-now she said so far no luck. She won't get off until 7. lets see about picking her up at 8.

Now she also says she has to stop by the bank too. She said 8 is fine unless she's running really late. Smh. Maybe I'm not overthinking it.

You are overthinking it.

When she is ready you can pick her up. Who cares what time. If it's too late for sushi then be prepared for something else. A walk. Drive to a lookout of a beach or something.

If she cancels then you still are overthinking it. Just the fact that you are so worked up over what is only a second date proves you are overthinking. You don't even know the girl. Just fucking chill.
 
The girl i was suppose to see last night for the follow up got canceled, we are meeting Wednesday. She canceled last night but she texted me this morning and was chatty so I guess she did have a valid excuse


I'm someone who has self confidence in myself, but this girl is seriously so out of my league, I don't think I've ever reacted this way to someone. It's actually bothering me.
 
I'm just wondering if I should stay casual friends with her since we've been friends since she was 13 or just disappear

I don't want to be friends with someone who I have any sort of feelings for. I would always feel shitty being around her in that situation - knowing that my feelings will always be unrequited. If that makes any sense.
 
Guess I was overthinking it. She just texted me saying she's trying to get into work early so she can get out early.

I even had a dream last night where my phone was acting bugging as hell and I was freaking out. I was having a sleep paralysis trying to wake myself up. :-/

Edit-now she said so far no luck. She won't get off until 7. lets see about picking her up at 8.

Now she also says she has to stop by the bank too. She said 8 is fine unless she's running really late. Smh. Maybe I'm not overthinking it.

I'd like to advise you, for both of your sakes, to share less exact details on some of the details going on between you two. You literally should have nothing to worry about, but it's just something to be mindful of.

I don't want to be friends with someone who I have any sort of feelings for. I would always feel shitty being around her in that situation - knowing that my feelings will always be unrequited. If that makes any sense.

Makes perfect sense. This is why I am very mindful of letting anyone close to me and that I have many "wall check points" someone has to pass before I'll consider allowing myself to catch deep feelings for them. Not saying you should be like me though.

Edit:
I'm just wondering if I should stay casual friends with her since we've been friends since she was 13 or just disappear

Do you KNOW she went back to her ex? I'm asking because I've seen men assume weird things, or guys lie and call still having words or grabbing a meal with an ex as "being together", instead of just enjoying the familiarity of each other for a bit, if they can still get along. Hell, I've had men straight up call or consider things to be "dating" that I never once considered anything of the sort, nor would have called it that, or consented to it.
 
I'd like to advise you, for both of your sakes, to share less exact details on some of the details going on between you two. You literally should have nothing to worry about, but it's just something to be mindful of.



Makes perfect sense. This is why I am very mindful of letting anyone close to me and that I have many "wall check points" someone has to pass before I'll consider allowing myself to catch deep feelings for them. Not saying you should be like me though.

Edit:


Do you KNOW she went back to her ex? I'm asking because I've seen men assume weird things, or guys lie and call still having words or grabbing a meal with an ex as "being together", instead of just enjoying the familiarity of each other for a bit, if they can still get along. Hell, I've had men straight up call or consider things to be "dating" that I never once considered anything of the sort, nor would have called it that, or consented to it.

What do you mean?

I have a phone interview in 10 minutes for a good paying job. Wish me luck.
 
The girl i was suppose to see last night for the follow up got canceled, we are meeting Wednesday. She canceled last night but she texted me this morning and was chatty so I guess she did have a valid excuse


I'm someone who has self confidence in myself, but this girl is seriously so out of my league, I don't think I've ever reacted this way to someone. It's actually bothering me.

Leagues don't exist.
 
The girl i was suppose to see last night for the follow up got canceled, we are meeting Wednesday. She canceled last night but she texted me this morning and was chatty so I guess she did have a valid excuse


I'm someone who has self confidence in myself, but this girl is seriously so out of my league, I don't think I've ever reacted this way to someone. It's actually bothering me.

No such thing as leagues. Dunno how many times we have to go through this. If this shit was real we wouldnt need a dating thread. And you know, I kmow lots of extremely pretty girls with guys who arent lookers and vice versa. And as an average looking guy I know lots of pretty girls who will never have a shot with me and lots of middle of the pack girls who are awesome and totally on my radar.

Just be yourself and have fun. That is all there is to a date. Fuck this "I could never score that" shit. If you dont shoot with confidence you never score in soccer or hockey or basketball or life. . .

Leagues don't exist.

This guy gets it.
 
My god Jason, she has to go to the bank and might be late and that's sending alarm signals off in your head? Chill.

And don't look up where she is via Tinder. That's creepy as fuck.
 
My god Jason, she has to go to the bank and might be late and that's sending alarm signals off in your head? Chill.

And don't look up where she is via Tinder. That's creepy as fuck.

One time isolated incident. Was just wondering if excuses was going to happen.

I don't know. Like I said she can work her own schedule. You'd think she'd put in effort to not stay out late the night before so she can go into work a little earlier to take her out again. I dunno, I guess you guys wouldn't sweat it?

I passed my phone interview. Have a face to face interview next Monday. Hopefully everything starts to look up.
 
One time isolated incident. Was just wondering if excuses was going to happen.

I don't know. Like I said she can work her own schedule. You'd think she'd put in effort to not stay out late the night before so she can go into work a little earlier to take her out again. I dunno, I guess you guys wouldn't sweat it?

I passed my phone interview. Have a face to face interview next Monday. Hopefully everything starts to look up.

You are comung across as borderlune obsessive bro. Its like, eh, lacking chill.

As a side note good luck on the interview!!! Remember suit, tie, eye contact and anseer confidently and thoughtfully. Research the fuck outta the compamy.
 
One time isolated incident. Was just wondering if excuses was going to happen.

I don't know. Like I said she can work her own schedule. You'd think she'd put in effort to not stay out late the night before so she can go into work a little earlier to take her out again. I dunno, I guess you guys wouldn't sweat it?

I passed my phone interview. Have a face to face interview next Monday. Hopefully everything starts to look up.

You're not her boyfriend. She has 0 obligation to do this for you. If she's seeing like 3-4 other guys, can you see how making time for each and every one might start to get a little annoying?

No, I wouldn't sweat it.
 
One time isolated incident. Was just wondering if excuses was going to happen.

I don't know. Like I said she can work her own schedule. You'd think she'd put in effort to not stay out late the night before so she can go into work a little earlier to take her out again. I dunno, I guess you guys wouldn't sweat it?

I passed my phone interview. Have a face to face interview next Monday. Hopefully everything starts to look up.

Congrats on passing your phoner, good luck with the face-to-face.

So, here's the thing you gotta realize - staying out late on a Sunday night, Superbowl Sunday mind you, isn't her necessarily prioritizing other stuff over you, or creating an out for herself - its just her enjoying herself on Superbowl Sunday. You approached her & these plans as if she's looking for an out to you two hanging out, when the reality is that if she didn't want to hang, she'd just cancel. Lord knows if she had an inkling on how you reacted she'd probably think twice about hanging out in general.

The reason you should calm down is that, not just for your own peace of mind, but all this anxiety will bleed over in some ways into your interactions with her. Its hard for it not to. I dunno if this is your reaction when liking someone, or maybe you're feeling something special with her right out the gate, but realize its only the 2nd date. If it goes well, more will follow. And the only way its going to go well is if you're the calm, cool dude she went out on the first date with, before you got really attached.

Then again, I don't really know the full scope of whats going on or how you're feeling. These are just my impressions from the last few posts of yours. I hope your date tonight goes well!
 
Guess I was overthinking it. She just texted me saying she's trying to get into work early so she can get out early.

I even had a dream last night where my phone was acting bugging as hell and I was freaking out. I was having a sleep paralysis trying to wake myself up. :-/

Edit-now she said so far no luck. She won't get off until 7. lets see about picking her up at 8.

Now she also says she has to stop by the bank too. She said 8 is fine unless she's running really late. Smh. Maybe I'm not overthinking it.

Others have hinted at it, but WHY are you posting about every tiny boring detail about your dates? You're not asking for advice. You're just literally giving us a play by play of a totally normal thing - someone being late for a date. Read what you wrote. Would you be interested in someone else writing that? Focusing on all of this minutiae is the very definition of over thinking. Stop!

Congrats on the interview, though! Good luck.

The girl i was suppose to see last night for the follow up got canceled, we are meeting Wednesday. She canceled last night but she texted me this morning and was chatty so I guess she did have a valid excuse


I'm someone who has self confidence in myself, but this girl is seriously so out of my league, I don't think I've ever reacted this way to someone. It's actually bothering me.

Haha, thinking someone is out of your league is the opposite of confidence.
 
I feel like things are so easy with the girl I'm dating. We both initiate dates and I feel so at ease and natural when I'm with her. Seventh date (yes I'm counting, so shoot me) on Wednesday - trying hard to not get my hopes up too much but this seems to be going well.
 
One time isolated incident. Was just wondering if excuses was going to happen.

It can be hard to not look at those kind of information indicators when they are provided by a site, creepy or not. As long as you don't get too hung up on what you think you're finding. Sometimes things are "excuses", or the way a woman lets someone down gently, sometimes they are misunderstandings. No matter what, it's best not to obsess or look too far into that sort of thing.

I passed my phone interview. Have a face to face interview next Monday. Hopefully everything starts to look up.

Congrats! Good luck with the rest.

Others have hinted at it, but WHY are you posting about every tiny boring detail about your dates? You're not asking for advice. You're just literally giving us a play by play of a totally normal thing - someone being late for a date. Read what you wrote. Would you be interested in someone else writing that? Focusing on all of this minutiae is the very definition of over thinking. Stop!

This, and for the personal safety of you two.
 
I feel like things are so easy with the girl I'm dating. We both initiate dates and I feel so at ease and natural when I'm with her. Seventh date (yes I'm counting, so shoot me) on Wednesday - trying hard to not get my hopes up too much but this seems to be going well.

A girl wouldn't go out with a guy 7 times (let alone initiate some of the dates) if she wasn't into him. Why are you still in the "trying not to get my hopes up" phase? It's clear you're both into each other.
 
A girl wouldn't go out with a guy 7 times (let alone initiate some of the dates) if she wasn't into him. Why are you still in the "trying not to get my hopes up" phase? It's clear you're both into each other.

I am well aware she is into me. Hopes up as in this might lead to something serious that will last longer than 2 months which is the longest I've had previously, the 2-month thing having about the same prelude as this but ending as she went on a 5month trip (and later told me she had met someone else before leaving while still seeing me, all the while telling me I should date other people while she was away and "then we'll see" lol). This feels better for some reason though, I think we're just a way better match than the other girl.
 
One time isolated incident. Was just wondering if excuses was going to happen.

I don't know. Like I said she can work her own schedule. You'd think she'd put in effort to not stay out late the night before so she can go into work a little earlier to take her out again. I dunno, I guess you guys wouldn't sweat it?

I passed my phone interview. Have a face to face interview next Monday. Hopefully everything starts to look up.

Come on dude, you really have to stop being so obsessive. You're pissed she decided going to a Superbowl party rather go to work really to see someone who isn't even her bf? It's one of the few nights of the year everyone parties and has fun, I wouldn't give that up for a date either. And you're not letting her with what she wants when you're complaining she was unreasonable in the next sentence. It doesn't work like that.
 
I feel bad that I didn't eat any of the popcorn that my date bought us yesterday. I'd just eaten brunch -- and she knew that -- but still. I feel as if it was rude of me.

When we went to Burger King to talk, we just ordered drinks which I paid for. She didn't want anything else.
 
Alright, long-ish post incoming, I want to try to throw all the details out there to try to get some decent advice/commentary. All I ask is that if you quote this, please don't quote the whole thing in case I decide to edit/delete the post later on if I get self-conscious/anxious.

*deleted the post* I think I got about all of the insight I was going to get out of it.
 
I feel bad that I didn't eat any of the popcorn that my date bought us yesterday. I'd just eaten brunch -- and she knew that -- but still. I feel as if it was rude of me.

When we went to Burger King to talk, we just ordered drinks which I paid for. She didn't want anything else.

You went to Burger King on a date? Why not a coffee place or something
 
You went to Burger King on a date? Why not a coffee place or something

I didn't pick any aspect of the date. She wanted to go see a movie and the Burger King is next door, so she chose it as a place to talk.

It was kind of awkward, though, doing things in reverse. Sitting and watching a movie beside someone you've never met can be weird.
 
Come on dude, you really have to stop being so obsessive. You're pissed she decided going to a Superbowl party rather go to work really to see someone who isn't even her bf? It's one of the few nights of the year everyone parties and has fun, I wouldn't give that up for a date either. And you're not letting her with what she wants when you're complaining she was unreasonable in the next sentence. It doesn't work like that.

She didn't go to a super bowl. She told me she was at home. It wasn't until late night she went out.

The only thing that worries me is if we delay tonight again and move to Friday (if she agrees Friday), it'll have been two weeks the last time we saw each other. She could slowly lose interest, while talking to other guys. The anticipation wanes.

If she's running late tonight then I'll suggest we do something else while move it to Friday.
 
She didn't go to a super bowl. She told me she was at home. It wasn't until late night she went out.

The only thing that worries me is if we delay tonight again and move to Friday (if she agrees Friday), it'll have been two weeks the last time we saw each other. She could slowly lose interest, while talking to other guys. The anticipation wanes.

If she's running late tonight then I'll suggest we do something else while move it to Friday.

Dude. You need to settle down. Acting obsessive is more likely to make her lose interest than talking to other dudes. A lot of dudes online act like that. Being relaxed helps you stand out from them
 
Alright, long-ish post incoming, I want to try to throw all the details out there to try to get some decent advice/commentary. All I ask is that if you quote this, please don't quote the whole thing in case I decide to edit/delete the post later on if I get self-conscious/anxious.

I have diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder, and I chronically overthink everything - this will probably explain quite a bit of the content of this post.

Don't worry about planning a Valentine's Day date. You've gone out three times and haven't kissed yet. Going too big or romantic that early, especially with this girl, could scare her off.

Pick something both of you would like to do and have fun with it. If that means bowling, go bowling. If you want a move, just make a bet with her. "If I get X pins down in the tenth frame, I get to kiss you". It's not as good as just going for it, but it's better than straight up asking.

I didn't pick any aspect of the date. She wanted to go see a movie and the Burger King is next door, so she chose it as a place to talk.

It was kind of awkward, though, doing things in reverse. Sitting and watching a movie beside someone you've never met can be weird.

Movies before dinner allows the two of you to discuss the movie over dinner. But, as we'll say until the day the Earth ceases to exist, movies are a terrible, TERRIBLE first date idea. I don't care that she suggested it, you suggest something so that you can talk. And I don't mean over cokes in a fast food restaurant...
 
I feel bad that I didn't eat any of the popcorn that my date bought us yesterday. I'd just eaten brunch -- and she knew that -- but still. I feel as if it was rude of me.

When we went to Burger King to talk, we just ordered drinks which I paid for. She didn't want anything else.

This could not possibly be less of an issue. Don't worry.
 
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