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[Gotdatmoney]

She initiated, and I just went with it. But the aftermath with her crying and thinking it was a mistake just makes me feel like discarded waste. I've been flip flopping on "I feel like shit" and "this is going to be fine."

But on another level, I blame myself for not even thinking about the potential issues that would arise from this beforehand.

We're close friends, and now I'm not even sure she'll talk to me again. I told her I'd just give her space and let her sort things out, and to talk to me whenever she wants.

She is an adult capable of making her own decisions. The fact she broke down crying after iniating is just fucking weird frankly. Do not engage man, friend or not that's just weird as fuck. Dont feel bad man. That would just annoy me more than anything personally.

 

[Tsukumo]

Alright, long-ish post incoming, I want to try to throw all the details out there to try to get some decent advice/commentary. All I ask is that if you quote this, please don't quote the whole thing in case I decide to edit/delete the post later on if I get self-conscious/anxious.

The situation is a bit confusing because there are a lot of friends and given the fact that I can't possibly know which friend is a girl and which is a guy, and given the fact that she is an acquaintance of a mutual friend, it's difficult to say if the people around are working to help you or are getting in your way.
Specific to the kissing: if going for the kiss is too much for you, first hold her hand. This should create the mood for the both of you. Kiss right after. If you do this while walking that's a bit more romantic, but if you have never done it before, waiting for you two to be alone on the couch is best.
Keep in mind the more time passes the more you are going to make her look in front of yours and her friends as if you are using her for getting attention and you have no romantic interest. And don't wait Valentine's Day to profit on the mood of the day and go for the kiss.

So last night it snowed pretty decently here so the first date I was supposed to go out for in a while got cancelled. Since my GF and I broke up a month ago almost to this date I've been dreading trying to go back out there on a date since I wasn't really ready.

We rescheduled to tonight, and there's this nice place near her house she wants to meet at to grab a beer. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit nervous haha...but in looking forward to it.

BUT (and there seems to always be a but...) my ex texted me last night about how she misses me. We usually do small talk a few times a day but she hasn't really opened up like this until now. Said she wanted to get dinner soon. I said yes because I'm weak, but I do still care about her.

Still going on the date tonight though so I can get myself out there and see if her and I click since we have been holding decent conversation for the past week. Open mind.

Go for the kiss on the date with ex. You'll know if she is for real or if she is just fishing for validation. Don't wait out to see how things are going on this date to see if there's a chance to get back, because if there's a chance and you wait for the next date you'll blew it.

Friend called me up to hang out, ended up having sex. Then she suddenly started crying and said it was a mistake.

I wasn't looking to hookup but we've always been close, and I was hoping this might've been the start of something more, but I guess I was hoping for too much. She seems like a wreck emotionally right now, so I'm just leaving her alone until she decides to talk to me again.

I feel like absolute dogshit.

Sorry, not sure if this is really the thread for this. Just wanted to type something out.

I don't think the crying had anything to do with the sex, or the situation. There must be something else going on in her life and she must have thought having sex with you would have been somewhat of a solution. Dig a bit.
In the meantime don't tell about this to any of your friends (even girl-friends). And if she talks about it, support whatever version of the facts she has given and refuse to explain yourself to anybody.

 

[Quick]

You can't control other people. Just yourself.

If anything, you should be feeling some sort of anger at her for using you and then placing this guilt on you. You internalizing this is just going to wear you out when you've done nothing wrong. Don't take anything out on her because she's clearly in a bad place, but I'd find a way to be glad if she no longer talks to you.

She is an adult capable of making her own decisions. The fact she broke down crying after iniating is just fucking weird frankly. Do not engage man, friend or not that's just weird as fuck. Dont feel bad man. That would just annoy me more than anything personally.

I felt a bit angry/annoyed after leaving her, but that cooled down quickly when I let it stew a bit more and really thought about it.

I just want her to be okay and make whatever decision she feels is best. I'm just gonna leave her alone for now.

I don't think the crying had anything to do with the sex, or the situation. There must be something else going on in her life and she must have thought having sex with you would have been somewhat of a solution. Dig a bit.
In the meantime don't tell about this to any of your friends (even girl-friends). And if she talks about it, support whatever version of the facts she has given and refuse to explain yourself to anybody.

I'd rather not dig in further, but I'm all for just hoping she makes decisions that she feels is right. If that means she cuts me off, that's fine. Not my ideal solution in ending a friendship, but it is what it is.

Definitely, 100% nothing wrong that you did then. I think you're making the right choice with just giving her space.

I kinda get where you're coming from, but you don't need to feel like shit or blame yourself.

Gving her some space is the right thing to do, but she was clearly after some kind of intimacy and it just happened to be with you. If it wasn't you, it could and probably would have been someone else.

Don't beat yourself up too much.

Thanks everyone. I do feel a bit better after reading the responses here.

I'm not looking to make a big deal about this with her, just going to wait it out and let things take care of itself, even if that means I'm cut out or something. I don't want to throw away a good friendship, but if this is something that will help her, so be it.

 

[Banjo-Kazooie]

Go for the kiss on the date with ex. You'll know if she is for real or if she is just fishing for validation. Don't wait out to see how things are going on this date to see if there's a chance to get back, because if there's a chance and you wait for the next date you'll blew it.

havent really decided what I would do yet if we met up, and trying not to really think about it until I see how tonight's date with the new girl turn out. Fingers crossed it goes well!

 

[Miles Quaritch]

havent really decided what I would do yet if we met up, and trying not to really think about it until I see how tonight's date with the new girl turn out. Fingers crossed it goes well!

You got this bro.

 

[Royal_Phalanx]

So, haven't been on a date in five months, completely apathetic about dating apps, and every time I go out my friends seem to pick the bars where the people are all aged 40+. Think I'm just going to focus on "me" for a while...

... as if I've been doing anything else the past year!

Go to student oriented bars. Pretty much the only way I can meet my age group nowadays anyway. I finally got the opportunity to do that on Saturday night in my old university town (wrote about what transpired there girl wise in my last post), and it was pretty great.

 

[MikeDip]

What's the best way to get a valentines day gift out of someone? Is there a certain way to bring it up?

 

[Banjo-Kazooie]

You got this bro.

Thanks Miles! I definitely tend to over worry too much and then get there and be like why the hell was I stressing so much.

I'll be good!

 

[Dwayne]

What's the best way to get a valentines day gift out of someone? Is there a certain way to bring it up?

are we doing valentines

 

[gaiages]

What's the best way to get a valentines day gift out of someone? Is there a certain way to bring it up?

Uh.... Why are you trying to get a gift from someone?

Yiu could always give a gift, and if you're just super adamant about recieving something in return, announce to the other person you're giving them a gift. But trying to get a gift out of someone is sorta ruining the point of a gift...

 

[Granadier]

Cool. I'll take this route and back off. See what happens from there. Thanks.

Went against what I said here and texted her asking what's up. My suspicion ended up being true. She got freaked because it was moving too fast. Thing is though, she said none of that was what she was looking for. She just wanted a friend to snowboard with (we went twice).

How the hell does it go from that to in the bed fucking without any indication or discussion that it's not what you're looking for? I'm at a loss for words. One part of me feels like a giant piece of shit, and the other part of me is confused as fuck.

Her response was that it's okay, and it's not a big deal unless I make it one. I just don't understand how to handle this.

 

[BladeoftheImmortal]

Well, I don't act like this on the actual dates. Everything goes smoothly. It went well with her on the first date, and she wouldn't have agreed on a second date if the first didn't go well.

Everything inbetween the dates I have problems with, but the funny thing is I haven't done or said anything to fuck it up.

You think you haven't said or done anything, but what do they think.

 

[wowzors]

Haven't seen a post from Jason in a while.

Spoiler

please respond

 

[Coda]

Of course I never hear from the OKC girl I was gonna go on a date with tonight. I sent her a text about 2 hours ago asking if we were still meeting up with no response.

 

[Banjo-Kazooie]

You got this bro.

Thanks Miles! I definitely tend to over worry too much and then get there and be like why the hell was I stressing so much.

I'll be good!

You were right Miles, I did have it!

All around great date. I had a good time, she said she had a fun time, we talked and had a lot in common. I was hella nervous going in, but as usual, once there we both just kinda clicked and conversation was hella easy.

Score.

 

[jimmypython]

Of course I never hear from the OKC girl I was gonna go on a date with tonight. I sent her a text about 2 hours ago asking if we were still meeting up with no response.

yep....seems the case these days.


- an OKC girl cancelled on me 2 hr before the date on Sunday with no alternative time proposed. And no contact since.

- another OKC convo started out strong today and now seems dying out (yep she's still online now).

Move on and move on......it's sad but I have started to get used to it now. the thing is, I totally understand - I would do the same if I am not interested LOL.

 

[MikeDip]

Uh.... Why are you trying to get a gift from someone?

Yiu could always give a gift, and if you're just super adamant about recieving something in return, announce to the other person you're giving them a gift. But trying to get a gift out of someone is sorta ruining the point of a gift...

Sorry I was on the bus and my stop came and didn't have time to elaborate.

I was asking or my friend. He has been dating some girl for about a month or so. He got her a present but wants one in return and asked me the best way to approach it t make sure he gets a present too. I told him I was a relationship expert.

However, I seem to not be a relationship expert so I had no advice. Hence asking here.

 

[Coda]

yep....seems the case these days.


- an OKC girl cancelled on me 2 hr before the date on Sunday with no alternative time proposed. And no contact since.

- another OKC convo started out strong today and now seems dying out (yep she's still online now).

Move on and move on......it's sad but I have started to get used to it now. the thing is, I totally understand - I would do the same if I am not interested LOL.

People in general are so flakey these days.

https://www.reddit.com/r/r4r/
In other news I just posted a classified ad on reddit which I never thought about doing until today. I just started talking to a really cool seeming nerdy chick close by to me. I'd recommend it to people who may have never thought about reddit in that way. It may work for you.

 

[vern]

Sorry I was on the bus and my stop came and didn't have time to elaborate.

I was asking or my friend. He has been dating some girl for about a month or so. He got her a present but wants one in return and asked me the best way to approach it t make sure he gets a present too. I told him I was a relationship expert.

However, I seem to not be a relationship expert so I had no advice. Hence asking here.

Tell him if he wants something to buy it himself.

 

[thoseAREmySHOES]

The situation is a bit confusing because there are a lot of friends and given the fact that I can't possibly know which friend is a girl and which is a guy, and given the fact that she is an acquaintance of a mutual friend, it's difficult to say if the people around are working to help you or are getting in your way.
Specific to the kissing: if going for the kiss is too much for you, first hold her hand. This should create the mood for the both of you. Kiss right after. If you do this while walking that's a bit more romantic, but if you have never done it before, waiting for you two to be alone on the couch is best.
Keep in mind the more time passes the more you are going to make her look in front of yours and her friends as if you are using her for getting attention and you have no romantic interest. And don't wait Valentine's Day to profit on the mood of the day and go for the kiss.

Sorry about the confusion. The mutual friend is a girl. The friend that tagged along prior to new years was a guy. Since we've been dating, it's just been me and her. I definitely don't feel as though my friends have gotten in the way, if anything it's been helpful since I've been able to get some insight from our mutual (female) friend.

 

[Granadier]

I remember you saying you were in Minneapolis and thought there wasn't much to do in the winter. Hopefully you changed your mind, because there is fuck loads of stuff to do down in the cities. Especially if it's centered around getting to know someone.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Haven't seen a post from Jason in a while.

Spoiler

please respond

I texted her this morning saying the wine we had made me drowsy and passed out when I got home. I told her have a good day at work. A minute later she texts back saying thanks.

An hour later I text her if she's having a bad day due to her boss (she mentioned him during our dinner) I'll cheer her up with some clever puns that she loves to hear. Didn't hear anything back.

I'm worried about something far worse than her not being interested in me. I woke up with a cold sore due to stress from family issues. I'm worried that since we had a peck on the lips last night there's a chance she caught it while I was in the phase of shedding. I passed it only once to another girl from shedding 6 years ago.

Im terrified she hasn't respond because she may have got it from me and is mad.

I really hope this isn't the case, and id rather her not be interested in me anymore than to have passed it to her.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

I texted her this morning saying the wine we had made me drowsy and passed out when I got home. I told her have a good day at work. A minute later she texts back saying thanks.

An hour later I text her if she's having a bad day due to her boss (she mentioned him during our dinner) I'll cheer her up with some clever puns that she loves to hear. Didn't hear anything back.

I'm worried about something far worse than her not being interested in me. I woke up with a cold sore due to stress from family issues. I'm worried that since we had a peck on the lips last night there's a chance she caught it while I was in the phase of shedding. I passed it only once to another girl from shedding 6 years ago.

Im terrified she hasn't respond because she may have got it from me and is mad.

I really hope this isn't the case, and id rather her not be interested in me anymore than to have passed it to her.

I'm gonna be blunt here. Consider me the wet blanket Cyril to your Sterling Archer: You text too much. Also, you don't understand HSV-1. I wouldn't normally say to rely on WebMD, but here: check out this link on WebMD. She's not going to develop symptoms overnight even on the off-chance that you did transmit the virus to her. Frankly, she probably already has it, considering most adults do.

Don't be terrified. Act more confidently. The ball's in her court. Remember that. You've been out enough that you need to be assessing whether she's a good fit for your life rather than just merely pining for her, you know? It goes both ways.

 

[Mister Wilhelm]

Reading this thread makes me wonder if anyone even calls anymore to ask people out? Waiting for a response over text must be the most nerve wrecking experience, haha.

I remember the good old days.

No online dating, just go out and meet a girl. Ask for her number. Two possible outcomes - get it, or don't and move on.

From there, you call that number in a day or two. If the number's no good, you toss it out and move on. If it's good, you either get her on the phone or the machine. If it's a machine, leave your number and a brief message and wait for her to call you back. If she doesn't, move on. If she does or you get her on the phone, you set up a date.

DONE. Real easy process, multiple "checkpoints" to figure out if she's actually in or out with certainty.

These days, it's a colossal clusterfuck of online and text tag and going back and forth where you sometimes can't possibly tell if they're interested, just want attention, or they're not and just don't want to tell you.

I don't even bother with it anymore.

I just straight-up refuse to game that way. Now when I ask someone out, I tell them right up front I don't want to play digital tag for a month or two before we get together. We figure it out now or I'd rather just be friends or not bother.

And you know what? They fucking LOVE that. It's difficult for a lot of my friends to understand, but women hate the way things work now just as much as you and respect a more direct approach. That has literally never failed to work for me.

One thing you need to come to terms with is due to the digital age, women have A LOT more options than you do. They can be picky and indecisive all they want, and you should not resent this. Instead, you should immediately make yourself the BEST option by communicating your intentions with no uncertainty and make your value known right up front.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

I'm gonna be blunt here. Consider me the wet blanket Cyril to your Sterling Archer: You text too much. Also, you don't understand HSV-1. I wouldn't normally say to rely on WebMD, but here: check out this link on WebMD. She's not going to develop symptoms overnight even on the off-chance that you did transmit the virus to her. Frankly, she probably already has it, considering most adults do.

Don't be terrified. Act more confidently. The ball's in her court. Remember that. You've been out enough that you need to be assessing whether she's a good fit for your life rather than just merely pining for her, you know? It goes both ways.

What if you have a visible sore? Can you develop symptoms over night if transmitted? Not that's what happened. I'm actually curious about how cold sores work. I didn't know that.

I hope you're right. She never has a problem with me texting her during her work. She even told me herself. If she was legit busy she usually responds with "ya" which means she's about to pass out from sleeping or busy.

When shes busy in the evening she'll text me the next morning saying sorry and answeing whatever i asked her.

I dunno. I texted her when I got home, last night and she was shocked I beat her home. I told her I'm just an awesome driver and she texts back saying pffft im home now too.

So I don't think she was spooked about the kiss.

If I don't hear from her tomorrow I may shoot her a text asking if everything is ok and that if something is wrong she can tell me.

Edit-as for the too much texting she likes it and texts me back a lot too. I don't text girls who hardly responds.

 

[vern]

What if you have a visible sore? Can you develop symptoms over night if transmitted? Not that's what happened. I'm actually curious about how cold sores work. I didn't know that.

I hope you're right. She never has a problem with me texting her during her work. She even told me herself. If she was legit busy she usually responds with "ya" which means she's about to pass out from sleeping or busy.

When shes busy in the evening she'll text me the next morning saying sorry and answeing whatever i asked her.

I dunno. I texted her when I got home, and she was shocked I beat her home. I told her I'm just an awesome driver and she texts back saying pffft im home now too.

So I don't think she was spooked about the kiss.

If I don't hear from her tomorrow I may shoot her a text asking if everything is ok and that if something is wrong she can tell me.

Edit-as for the too much texting she likes it and texts me back a lot too. I don't text girls who hardly responds.

Don't ask her if everything is ok. If she ghosts you or the mood of her texts changes to be less receptive in general and less frequent as before then that is your sign that she's not ok, and/or not feeling you.

Also, I know she didn't reply to your message about if she's having a bad day and if you can cheer her up with puns, but I would say general advice is don't seek permission for something as mundane as a joke/pun. The vast majority of interactions should be natural and shouldn't need approval prior to occurring. Be confident. Asking if you can tell her a joke isn't confidence, just the same as asking if you can kiss her at the end of the date isn't a sign of confidence.

Just do it. Like Nike says, but it's good advice 98% of the time.

 

[stn]

If I don't hear from her tomorrow I may shoot her a text asking if everything is ok and that if something is wrong she can tell me.

No! Relationships work best when both people are happy, riding a high, and avoiding issues. You stating this is basically acknowledging that there might be an issue. In reality, there might be nothing. Don't look for shit that isn't there. She will think you're clingy and the type who creates problems. The real solution is the following: Put the phone down! Let a few days simmer, give her space. You don't have to text everyday and she doesn't have to respond to you. And when she in fact doesn't respond, you have to be secure enough that it doesn't phase you.

A girl I know and have history with messaged me some time ago. I replied once, never heard from her after that. I then messaged her a few weeks later inviting her to something, didn't hear back. Guess what? I will now never message her again. The key is to let it be. She's not stupid and she knows how to use a phone, she will message me if she wants. Your current squeeze is capable of the same.

Edit-as for the too much texting she likes it and texts me back a lot too. I don't text girls who hardly responds.

It doesn't mean she likes to text all day. What if she's replying just because she doesn't want to come off as rude? You might just be trapping her and yet she's too nice/passive to stop it. Its a good idea to reciprocate what a girl does to you, but NOT texting. Its a boring method of communication and it can be a mood killer.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

I guess I won't text her then. I'm just worried I may have passed it to her, even though webmd says it can take 20 days to develop symptoms.

That's my issue. I don't want no communication ever if there's a chance she got it. I would like to apologize if it happened.

 

[vern]

I guess I won't text her then. I'm just worried I may have passed it to her, even though webmd says it can take 20 days to develop symptoms.

That's my issue. I don't want no communication ever if there's a chance she got. I would like to apologize if it happened.

Just chill man. For real.

Also get back to swiping on Tinder because this one isn't looking great, IMO.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Just chill man. For real.

It's hard to read. He's the full on opposite of "no chill." Hyper anxiety.

I can remember when I was the same way, but it was because under the surface of my thoughts I was unhappy with myself and where I was in life. So then I worked on those things, got my shit together to where I wanted it, and the dating came fucking easy afterward in a way I never expected. I want the same for you, JA.

Texting girls and getting to some sort of truth about whether they *really actually* like you or finding out what they're *really actually* thinking at any given time should be the last thing on your mind, no matter how much you want something to work out or you're worried about some aspect of the relationship. Hopefully you have a day when you realize you haven't even been thinking about this shit for a while, and you'll know you've made it.

As for the HPV thing: 80% of women will have it in their life. Perspective.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Well on tinder when a girl doesn't reply back I don't shoot them another message. I know they're not interested and move on to the next.

And I haven't been clingy on this new girl. If I send her a text, I let it be until she texts back. And she does, even if it's hours and hours later.

 

[Llyranor]

Everyone is telling you to text less. Everyone. For the past few weeks. Even Matty is probably thinking 'man, this guy better text less' (love you, Matty)

For someone who you've only been on 2 dates with, you are borderline obsessive with how well you think you know her texting habits.

It doesn't matter if 'she likes it' (that's what she's saying, anyway). TEXT LESS. Save it for the freaking date.

 

[Nether!]

I read this thread everyday, and everyday people tell you to chill out, Jason.
When will you chill out, Jason?

 

[Miles Quaritch]

You were right Miles, I did have it!

All around great date. I had a good time, she said she had a fun time, we talked and had a lot in common. I was hella nervous going in, but as usual, once there we both just kinda clicked and conversation was hella easy.

Score.

Nice!

Really happy for you, Banj.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

yep....seems the case these days.


- an OKC girl cancelled on me 2 hr before the date on Sunday with no alternative time proposed. And no contact since.

- another OKC convo started out strong today and now seems dying out (yep she's still online now).

Move on and move on......it's sad but I have started to get used to it now. the thing is, I totally understand - I would do the same if I am not interested LOL.

Try your luck with a more premium dating site? OKC doesn't really seem to be worth it these days. I see lots of people complaining about flakes, time-wasters, people who are interested in finding online friends, etc.

How's Match.com holding up these days? Or just Tinder? That still seems to be going strong...

 

[bluethree]

I love Tinder where I live. 2 dates in the last week and Im setting up a 3rd with someone new for tomorrow

 

[Milksheikhs]

Sorry I was on the bus and my stop came and didn't have time to elaborate.

I was asking or my friend. He has been dating some girl for about a month or so. He got her a present but wants one in return and asked me the best way to approach it t make sure he gets a present too. I told him I was a relationship expert.

However, I seem to not be a relationship expert so I had no advice. Hence asking here.

I would just tell him that you don't give presents expecting something in return. And if you feel like at a loss because you gave someone something and they didn't return the favor, then don't give them anything at all. I mean I would rather get nothing from someone, than have someone give me something with an expectant attitude like 'okay now where's my gift?'. And most likely if you get a thoughtful gift for someone...they will usually want to give you something back anyways.

 

[electricshake]

It's hard to read. He's the full on opposite of "no chill." Hyper anxiety.

I can remember when I was the same way, but it was because under the surface of my thoughts I was unhappy with myself and where I was in life. So then I worked on those things, got my shit together to where I wanted it, and the dating came fucking easy afterward in a way I never expected. I want the same for you, JA.

Texting girls and getting to some sort of truth about whether they *really actually* like you or finding out what they're *really actually* thinking at any given time should be the last thing on your mind, no matter how much you want something to work out or you're worried about some aspect of the relationship. Hopefully you have a day when you realize you haven't even been thinking about this shit for a while, and you'll know you've made it.

As for the HPV thing: 80% of women will have it in their life. Perspective.

Cold sores are HSV not HPV (which causes warts). But catching HSV (type 1 at least) isn't that big a deal. Lots of people have it, and she might even have it already. I caught from a guy I dated briefly 10 years ago and I can count on one hand the number of cold sores I've had.

 

[Banjo-Kazooie]

Your train of thinking just always seems really negative.

"Girl hasn't texted me back in two hours? She musta caught something from my sore when we pecked on the lips and is mad at me."

Like come on man :/

And ya I had a good date, but now I won't text her until Friday or so until I'm ready to try and plan another date. It's good to have space, especially since no one is tied to anyone so rather than stare at my phone waiting for responses I'll just ride the wave of happiness I'm on from my good experience

 

[M52B28]

From what I've been reading, I thought that giving space was something you do even with friends. I give my friends a good amount of space when I text them.

As much as I love to speak to them, I know they would get tired of I texted them 24/7.

We see each other from time to time, so that changes the situation, but still, try to hold off on the back to back texting if you all can.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Sorry I was on the bus and my stop came and didn't have time to elaborate.

I was asking or my friend. He has been dating some girl for about a month or so. He got her a present but wants one in return and asked me the best way to approach it t make sure he gets a present too. I told him I was a relationship expert.

However, I seem to not be a relationship expert so I had no advice. Hence asking here.

Who gives a gift with the expectation of getting one in return?

Jesus, if he doesn't want to give one he doesn't have to. To give one and try to make sure the receiver gives you one too is just crazy to me.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Ugh. I'm fine with a date not going too well, and if a girl ghosts me the next day, I leave it be, and that's it. Move on to the next.

But we seemed to have a good time Monday night. We sat across from each, so any kind of physical touching was difficult, but I made an effort. She told me she got her nails done last week, so as I said "let me see them" I took her fingers, caressing them and the nails themselves. She also told me about the bite marks on her neck, and she thinks it's from a spider. I'm looking at she's turning her neck, and she tells me to touch the bite marks on her neck. So there was some physical touching going on which she felt comfortable enough for me to touch her.

She comments a lot about my physique. She's asking advise on upper back exercises. I tell her an exercise where you bend over, and she smiles and says "phrasing". She loves Archer, too.

And as I've said after the date, when I got I home I texted her I'm home. She replied back saying how fast I am and she wasn't even home yet. I told her I'm just more of an awesome driver than her, and she replied back "pssh, I'm home seconds after you!"

So it's just weird. Nothing went bad that night. If it went terrible, then yeah, I can see the silence from her. Women are freaking complicated. =\

 

[BladeoftheImmortal]

You obviously come on too strong after the date. How much texting are you doing? You obviously seem really needy in your texts.

 

[Pasta_Soup]

You're the complicated one, Jason. Not women.

 

[BladeoftheImmortal]

Well on tinder when a girl doesn't reply back I don't shoot them another message. I know they're not interested and move on to the next.

And I haven't been clingy on this new girl. If I send her a text, I let it be until she texts back. And she does, even if it's hours and hours later.

Jason:"I'm not clingy I swear."

*tells gaf every minute, mundane detail about this girl and how funny she thinks I am, for realzies*

Yup, doesn't come off as clingy at all.

 

[M52B28]

So it's just weird. Nothing went bad that night. If it went terrible, then yeah, I can see the silence from her. Women are freaking complicated. =

Obviously you're good looking enough to go on these dates, but you're so self conscious that it's annoying.

Dude, you need to chill the fuck out. From what I'm reading, good looks can only go so far. Mental resilience is what matters at the end of the day. You need to work on yourself mentally so that you can treat these women as someone of interest, not someone you're in commitment with.

Christ. It's obsessive. And no, women aren't any more complicated than men.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Jason:"I'm not clingy I swear."

*tells gaf every minute, mundane detail about this girl and how funny she thinks I am, for realzies*

Yup, doesn't come off as clingy at all.

I don't come off clingy with texting her.

Maybe talking about her to you guys, yeah, never thought about it like that, but I'm just trying to get advice on how she feels about me, that's all, hence the description of our conversations and dates.

When we initially met, she was so surprised at how much we had in common, when it came to our childhood and where we grew up, the music we listen to, and hobbies. She was really going text crazy with me asking me if I liked so and so. I asked if that was a good thing, and she said yes.

Obviously you're good looking enough to go on these dates, but you're so self conscious that it's annoying.

Dude, you need to chill the fuck out. From what I'm reading, good looks can only go so far. Mental resilience is what matters at the end of the day. You need to work on yourself mentally so that you can treat these women as someone of interest, not someone you're in commitment with.

Christ. It's obsessive. And no, women aren't any more complicated than men.

Yeah, I know good looks can only take you so far. Humor can be a turn on for women, too. I'm good at making eye contact, listening, and even asking follow up questions. I guess I really am self-conscious.

 

[justjustin]

So it's just weird. Nothing went bad that night. If it went terrible, then yeah, I can see the silence from her. Women are freaking complicated. =\

Just because two people had a good time and nothing went wrong doesn't mean another date will happen. I'm sure she did enjoy the date, but deciding to follow up on another one depends on different reasons/motivations. Think back in your own experience and you've probably done the same thing-- had a fine time with someone and then just didn't feel like meeting up again. It's not weird.

And please don't worry about keeping the person constantly engaged between meetups. It doesn't matter if she keeps responding. People can be polite and keep going back and forth forever. In the future just send a few chit-chat messages then close off with a joke and a "talk to you later" or something; anything to free each other from your phones.

Overall, give her the space to express herself more and the chance to show actual interest in you. She might just be trying to keep up with you, and doesn't have the opportunity to let you know what she's really like or how she feels. That might be why you're blown away every time it doesn't pan out despite all the seemingly positive reception.

I don't think you have to change your life or do any soul-searching, just practice toning it down.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

You can be clingy without texting her all the time. How can you say you're not clingy when you count the amount of time between texts?

 

[gwailo]

I don't come off clingy with texting her.

Yes, you do. You text more than a 12 year old girl. It's not a good look for a guy in his 30's. You're coming off as needing constant attention. There's no need for stuff like texting someone you just had a first date with that you got home. Sorry to be blunt, but who the fuck cares? Maybe send one the next day that you had a nice time and would like to do it again -- and then put down your phone!