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[Max]

If it went terrible, then yeah, I can see the silence from her. Women are freaking complicated. =\

This literally stems from you forgetting something we've all said before, put down the damned phone. Women aren't complicated, you're just over-complicating EVERYTHING by putting so much expectations on these poor women. Listen man, spend a month or two continuing to focus on yourself, continue your gym/work/hobby routines and learn to spend time away from the phone.

Right now I really believe this is a whole other issue than just 'dating is so hard because women are complicated'. You need to go back to square one.

It's not a competition, you might be in your 30's but there's no rush to depend on someone else. I don't think its what you need right now.

Recently, posting so much here, dating these girls; are you happy?

 

[n64coder]

You're coming off as needing constant attention. There's no need for stuff like texting someone you just had a first date with that you got home. Sorry to be blunt, but who the fuck cares? Maybe send one the next day that you had a nice time and would like to do it again -- and then put down your phone!

Well said. I never heard of texting someone to say that you got home or asking if they got home ok or how their day is going.

When you first start dating someone, just keep the chat/talk between dates to a minimum and only use it as a way to plan the next date. Over time, you can open up and then start having more conversation.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Emily I was happy with. Went on three other dates after her, two didn't go well. One brought up God and family, the other had green hair and just broke up with her bf. Third girl was a second date, but I'm not feeling it.

This new girl I'm happy when we meet.

I guess I won't contact her until Friday and I'll ask how her week at work was. If she doesn't reply back then i know she's ghosting me.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Well said. I never heard of texting someone to say that you got home or asking if they got home ok or how their day is going.

When you first start dating someone, just keep the chat/talk between dates to a minimum and only use it as a way to plan the next date. Over time, you can open up and then start having more conversation.

NO. She's the one who texted me asking if I got home ok. Or she'll say text me and let me know if you got home safe.

 

[Kurtofan]

it's therapy time for me

 

[Llyranor]

There's no need for stuff like texting someone you just had a first date with that you got home. Sorry to be blunt, but who the fuck cares? Maybe send one the next day that you had a nice time and would like to do it again -- and then put down your phone!

Well said. I never heard of texting someone to say that you got home or asking if they got home ok or how their day is going.

Well, to be fair, I'll text after the first date to say it was fun or whatever and goodnight. Emphasis on goodnight because it's fire & forget and not a conversation starter. I guess it can be done the next day too, it doesn't matter. But not "I just got home!!!" since that just seems an excuse to chat.

I guess I won't contact her until Friday and I'll ask how her week at work was. If she doesn't reply back then i know she's ghosting me.

The way you worded this is weird. You'll know she's ghosting you? As in "Aha! I knew she was was ghosting me!! This validates my hypothesis! Bwahaha!" I mean, why?

And why do you need to text her on friday if she's ignored you all week? You already put the ball in her court. Why haven't you taken this time to look at your other options or to do things for yourself? Don't obsess over this girl until the end of the week.

Waiting around a week then texting then validating "Aha! She ghosted me, I knew it!" seems unhealthy. If you keep busy otherwise, you'll have done other things, and wouldn't be bothered by girls who won't give you the time of day. Why do you let them hold so much control over your psychological state? If they don't respect you, why do you waste your time and energy on them? You should respect yourself more than that

Jason, I hope you don't take this as GAF ganging up on you. No one here wants to see you fail, we're just frustrated that you seem caught in the same vicious cycle of overthinking, but we can't get you out of it - only you have control over that.

 

[Granadier]

Jason, you gotta chill about this girl. She's into you. Stop fretting over every little detail.

Jason, I hope you don't take this as GAF ganging up on you. No one here wants to see you fail, we're just frustrated that you seem caught in the same vicious cycle of overthinking, but we can't get you out of it - only you have control over that.

I think this is worth reiterating. This advice is too help out, not to bash you in any way.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

I've never been into anyone who spends all their time wondering if I'm into them. It's a terrible look. Even when they don't verbalize it, you can tell.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

I don't think she's into me anymore. Something happened. I'm not going to text her, but being honest and our texting habits, this is unlike her to ignore me for more than a day, on a week day to boot. She would at least get back and apologize for it. I know I've said this before, and I end up ovdrthinking it, and she ends up replying back, but this time I know it for sure.

Hopefully I'm wrong this time, but I'm sure of it.

I'm putting the ball in her court, but it sucks because she's a sweet and awesome girl in which I liked talking to her. She even had a surprise for me when we were originally going to meet up last Friday for dinner, and that she'd wear a dress for me.

 

[Max]

why are you like this

please understand my previous post. We've got nothing but sound advice for you but it's becoming exhausting to this thread especially after a few pages back all was apparently understood

 

[jimmypython]

Try your luck with a more premium dating site? OKC doesn't really seem to be worth it these days. I see lots of people complaining about flakes, time-wasters, people who are interested in finding online friends, etc.

How's Match.com holding up these days? Or just Tinder? That still seems to be going strong...

not sure about the sites that are not free.......but I might eventually give them a try lol

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Speaking of okc, I saw Emily on there. She must've just signed up, because i never saw her on okc. Looks like she's hasn't been able to find another guy.

Also. Matched with a girl on tinder, after a few brief exchanges I gave her my number and suggest we meet up and talk more. She finally texted me.

 

[Dwayne]

but I'm sure of it.

"sorry my phone died"

 

[Bruce Springsteen]

Supposed to meet this girl for a followup to the first date in 10 minutes..... she just texted me she will be there on time "buddy", damn

 

[ryseing]

How can you say you're not clingy when you count the amount of time between texts?

To be fair this is normal. I do the whole "wait as long as it took for her to get back to me" thing.

Not to the minute obviously but a general frame.

 

[thoseAREmySHOES]

Supposed to meet this girl for a followup to the first date in 10 minutes..... she just texted me she will be there on time "buddy", damn

Fuck, that would mess with me so bad. Hopefully it still goes well.

 

[stn]

Supposed to meet this girl for a followup to the first date in 10 minutes..... she just texted me she will be there on time "buddy", damn

All I can say is... flirt like there's no tomorrow. "Buddy" is definitely not what you call someone you want to bang and date. Dang. Good luck!

 

[Banjo-Kazooie]

So after my good date last night we texted briefly this morning just to both say we had a great time.

Now my next play is to wait a couple of days to set up another date. She picked the first meet up spot so I'm going to suggest the next one. I'm going to suggest Monday, since a week between dates will have been a decent amount of time, and see what she says.

Not stressing over this though, which is nice. If it happens, it happens

Edit: to go along with below, I plan on not texting her besides to set up the next date. Funny how I happened to hit post right as that got posted

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

I feel like this thread's basically become how texting has ruined dating. All these rules and anxious moments could be dispelled if you simply put down the damn phone. I realize it's harder than it sounds, believe me, and it wasn't until the girl I'm seeing disabused me of my propensity to hold entire conversations via text that I realized the value of, well, less is more.

We've consistently only texted to set up actual dates. Sometimes we reply immediately, and sometimes we give it 24 hours. Because these aren't conversations, and I'm asking about Saturday on a Tuesday, it really doesn't matter if she gets back to me immediately. I'll say that, now that we've navigated five dates, she sent me a picture of her birthday cupcakes today. She was up front with me: she told me she hated texting initially, and so my expectations were lowered. I now love this approach. Maybe send a picture of something interesting or link an article: that's better than trying to do small talk over text.

There's something to be said for not making yourself immediately and wholly available to someone. I completely understand the idea of keeping witty banter going, especially because it feels good, but plant me in the camp of saying less. As a bonus, you get to be more mysterious, and you actually appear to have a life that doesn't exclusively include her (because, at this point, she's auditioning to become a part of your life, just as you're doing with her).

Speaking of okc, I saw Emily on there. She must've just signed up, because i never saw her on okc. Looks like she's hasn't been able to find another guy.

Also. Matched with a girl on tinder, after a few brief exchanges I gave her my number and suggest we meet up and talk more. She finally texted me.

Cool. Hope the best for Emily, a girl who made you realize that you can feel something for someone again, and then never think of her again. My Emily was a girl named Nina. I owe her a lot, but I'll never see her again. (Anyway, if I can talk to my ex-wife about her current relationship, you can get over a girl you went out with twice.) Also, I want you to try this, just as an experiment: offer a time/place for a date, get her confirmation, and then don't say anything else! Don't even feel like you have to confirm!

This isn't normal! Or at the very least it's not healthy behavior.

It is normal. Whether or not it's healthy is debatable. What's true is that everyone has different rules for texting, which is why so many people in this thread are so anxious about it.

Here, this link is actually top-notch: The Way I Text Ruined My Dating Life. See If It’s Ruining Yours.

 

[Salamando]

Working on getting dates without using online dating. Went to a speed dating thing tonight, and it was...interesting. There were fewer girls than guys, and the way the rotation was set up meant two guys would occasionally be chatting up the same girl.

If nothing else, I proved to myself that my smalltalk game was decent, I was able to connect to strangers I knew nothing about, and I threw in some lines I'm quite proud of - flirty, clever, and got a good reaction.

Now I get to wait and see if I get any matches. The girl who didn't know who Bill Murray is was a hard "no"....

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Technically we went out three times.

 

[Granadier]

This isn't normal! Or at the very least it's not healthy behavior.

Exactly. Playing these little mind games isn't healthy.

Here, this link is actually top-notch: The Way I Text Ruined My Dating Life. See If It’s Ruining Yours.

To be fair, that same situation could have easily happened if they got to know each other over the phone. I don't think "texting" was the root cause there.

 

[bluethree]

Exactly. Playing these little mind games isn't healthy.

So nice to see posts like this, especially when we had some posts in this thread a while back actively promoting this kind of crap. Don't be needy, but text her when you want (within a reasonable amount of time).

 

[Llyranor]

Technically we went out three times.

Is this the only thing from AD's post you want to comment on?

Exactly. Playing these little mind games isn't healthy.

So nice to see posts like this, especially when we had some posts in this thread a while back actively promoting this kind of crap. Don't be needy, but text her when you want (within a reasonable amount of time).

I wouldn't call it mind games (unless someone makes it so) or a hard rule, but more of a general guideline for someone who obsesses on the phone awaiting a text back. It forces the person (who lacks self-control) to have to take a step back and think about other things than whether the girl has replied yet or not. But if you're nonchalant about texting, you don't need any rules. I also find texting rules dumb, but this is one of the more benign ones.

But for someone who replies instantly everytime the girl texts something hours after he did, it's a bad look. In this scenario, I would consider the 'rule' more important for the person's state of mind in terms of having to let the phone go (again, this only applies if lacking self-control), rather than whatever impression it might convey for the other person.

 

[ryseing]

This isn't normal! Or at the very least it's not healthy behavior.

It's not like I'm obsessive about it. It's just something to be mindful of, especially as someone who wants to avoid appearing clingy.

According to the University of North Carolina, those who show insecure or avoidant styles tend to send the most messages in relationships. They like texting, researchers said, because they’re able to control the tempo of the relationship, while finding it less emotionally demanding than talking, which requires active listening and focus.

Insecurely-attached people text for different reasons. According to the study, they’re needled by constant fears of abandonment, so texting allows them to feel close and lessen anxiety.

That article posted was super interesting. As someone with avoidance issues I've had to force myself to control the frequency and content of my messages.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Is this the only thing from AD's post you want to comment on?




I wouldn't call it mind games (unless someone makes it so) or a hard rule, but more of a general guideline for someone who obsesses on the phone awaiting a text back. It forces the person (who lacks self-control) to have to take a step back and think about other things than whether the girl has replied yet or not. But if you're nonchalant about texting, you don't need any rules. I also find texting rules dumb, but this is one of the more benign ones.

But for someone who replies instantly everytime the girl texts something hours after he did, it's a bad look. In this scenario, I would consider the 'rule' more important for the person's state of mind in terms of having to let the phone go (again, this only applies if lacking self-control), rather than whatever impression it might convey for the other person.

Yes because I know what I'm doing after I match with a girl. It's after the first meetup when I start to fuck things up with texting. That's if I'm interested in them.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

So nice to see posts like this, especially when we had some posts in this thread a while back actively promoting this kind of crap. Don't be needy, but text her when you want (within a reasonable amount of time).

Yeah, I don't advocate artificially prolonging things. I'm not talking about waiting a specified period to respond to a text; I'm suggesting that it's simply better to text less in general. Hell, I've consistently been quick to reply -- except during the day, when I'm at work, because I'm actually busy -- and I'm a strong proponent of the "text me when you get home" line too, especially if they're taking an Uber or walking.

I wouldn't call it mind games (unless someone makes it so) or a hard rule, but more of a general guideline for someone who obsesses on the phone awaiting a text back. It forces the person (who lacks self-control) to have to take a step back and think about other things than whether the girl has replied yet or not. But if you're nonchalant about texting, you don't need any rules. I also find texting rules dumb, but this is one of the more benign ones.

But for someone who replies instantly everytime the girl texts something hours after he did, it's a bad look. In this scenario, I would consider the 'rule' more important for the person's state of mind in terms of having to let the phone go (again, this only applies if lacking self-control), rather than whatever impression it might convey for the other person.

The biggest takeaway is that, by leading an active, fulfilled life, you're going to necessarily vary your rate of responses. If you work during the day, spend time with friends, and do normal things -- read, work out, whatever -- you're not going to be tied to your phone. I realize that you can artificially create this illusion by sometimes texting immediately and other times waiting a few hours or longer, but doesn't that get exhausting?

The upshot of not focusing on bonding through texts is that you can do it in person. You're ostensibly looking for a partner, not a chat buddy or an internet girlfriend on AOL back in the late 1990s.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Exactly. Playing these little mind games isn't healthy.

To be fair, that same situation could have easily happened if they got to know each other over the phone. I don't think "texting" was the root cause there.

The reality is people think that if you text back immediate you are desperste to talk. Its dumb but people think that. Personal. I just respond when I feel like it. Sometimes I am super prompt. Sometimes I may not bother for 6 hours cause I am doing something else. I dont think the issue is how prompt you respond personally. I think its the frequency of talks. Sometimes the girl is responding so fast the discussion is too involved for me and I just leave it. I dont attribute it to anything. Sometimes you just want to text a lot and sometimes you dont.

Also Jason, can you chill the fuck out man? I think we all are rooting for you but none of us really give a shit about the indepth texting and personal patterns of whoever you are seeing for 30 posts. Give relevant information. I dont give a shit about her staying out late for the superbowl and having soup for lunch and preferring velcro to shoes laces. Chill man.

 

[Llyranor]

If you work during the day, spend time with friends, and do normal things -- read, work out, whatever -- you're not going to be tied to your phone. I realize that you can artificially create this illusion by sometimes texting immediately and other times waiting a few hours or longer, but doesn't that get exhausting?

I reckon it's less exhausting than someone glued to the phone awaiting texts. It's by no means an ideal 'rule', but it's a substitute for people to whom "get off the phone and text less" doesn't work.

I read through the article. The ending is hilarious.

But he continued to text her as often as he did during the courtship, sharing a running commentary of his day. Eventually, she stopped replying, hoping he’d get the hint. But he continued to message her incessantly. What she originally soaked up as attention and validation became an annoyance, and she wanted him to stop.

“Normally, if you’re sort of unresponsive to someone after a date,” she said. “They pick up the clues and you can kind of just fade away.”

Due to the intense back-and-forth texts before their first date, Dana felt obligated to confront him — a situation she found ridiculous.

Dana broke up with Benjamin over text. She messaged that she enjoyed getting to know him, but she didn’t think they were a long-term match. Still, as the line goes, she hoped they could be friends. He didn’t reply, so she texted again, asking if he wanted to meet over coffee to talk. But again, no response.

Dana got the hint: Benjamin was done with her. “I was a little miffed that he just went cold on me,” she admitted.

 

[Armadilo]

So I got a co-workers number but she's going to leave the job soon, first time doing something like this. So I should text her the plans to do something soon but I shouldn't text every day right ? especially not when I barely got her number , right ? So just text her the plans so we can meet but wait until we actually go out ? no good morning/good night texts ?

 

[Granadier]

I think in the grand scheme of things, basing things off people's texting habits doesn't have any positives. There's tons of other things that would be indicative of issues going on, if there are issues, than how often or not someone texts.

ie: the girl I talked about a few pages back was distant through texts, but I only noticed because she was becoming distant in person.

So I got a co-workers number but she's going to leave the job soon, first time doing something like this. So I should text her the plans to do something soon but I shouldn't text every day right ? especially not when I barely got her number , right ? So just text her the plans so we can meet but wait until we actually go out ? no good morning/good night texts ?

fuck, what have we done

 

[Gotdatmoney]

So I got a co-workers number but she's going to leave the job soon, first time doing something like this. So I should text her the plans to do something soon but I shouldn't text every day right ? especially not when I barely got her number , right ? So just text her the plans so we can meet but wait until we actually go out ? no good morning/good night texts ?

Do people text good morning and good night? Jesus. My text game really weak clearly.

Bro, text her, "hey I wanna take you on a date, dinner at 8 at _________ sound good?"

Just get to the damn point. Don't waffle. No one likes a waffler.

 

[Assanova]

The girl that I've been seeing for the past few weeks and I text non-stop; I'm talking from morning until we go to bed. All of these texting rules matter if you're just trying to sleep with a girl, but if you're looking for a long term relationship, texting a lot can be good. The willingness to text each other a lot just shows that you are really into each other and very compatible. You can do it and not come off as needy.

For those of you that are old enough to remember dating before texting, do you remember dating in high school when you were into someone and they were really into you? You probably talked non-stop for hours over the phone. Texting works the same way, as long as you use common sense.

 

[Cudder]

So I got a co-workers number but she's going to leave the job soon, first time doing something like this. So I should text her the plans to do something soon but I shouldn't text every day right ? especially not when I barely got her number , right ? So just text her the plans so we can meet but wait until we actually go out ? no good morning/good night texts ?

How about you walk up to her and talk to her during the day? Have normal, friendly conversations like coworkers do. Get to know her. Then whenever she ends up leaving, text her every once in a while to see how she's doing and try and set up a date then, saying you enjoyed spending time with her when you were both working together, and you two should go out to continue getting to know each other. Your situation is easy as pie, man. The flowchart to this one literally writes itself.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

The girl that I've been seeing for the past few weeks and I text non-stop; I'm talking from morning until we go to bed. All of these texting rules matter if you're just trying to sleep with a girl, but if you're looking for a long term relationship, texting a lot can be good. The willingness to text each other a lot just shows that you are really into each other and very compatible. You can do it and not come off as needy.

For those of you that are old enough to remember dating before texting, do you remember dating in high school when you were into someone and they were really into you? You probably talked non-stop for hours over the phone. Texting works the same way, as long as you use common sense.

Same thing happened with this girl. We were literally texting from morning til 3am the next morning.

 

[Assanova]

Same thing happened with this girl. We were literally texting from morning til 3am the next morning.

I didn't read the entire series of posts related to it, but after looking at post #12611, I don't think that the problem was texting at all. I think the problem was the lack of physical contact and making her feel like your woman. Based on just that post, I bet you didn't come off as confident as she would have liked. At some point, you just have to be physical and make her feel like you are a couple or she will give up on you no matter how well the conversation is.

 

[wanderingprostheyltite]

Same thing happened with this girl. We were literally texting from morning til 3am the next morning.

I love it when this happens, you can get into such a sync with somebody if both parties are devoting enough attention to it. Sometimes its just an attention thing, others it can really help establish some early chemistry, but in person is almost always a completely different ballgame unless you've met prior. Had a dreadful date a few weeks ago with a girl where we completely hit it off in text but in person chemistry and personalities were so diametrically opposed. Was a serious wtf moment, you think you know how something will go down based on personal projection, optimism, whatever, but text really means fuck all till you meet. Still fun though

 

[Gotdatmoney]

The girl that I've been seeing for the past few weeks and I text non-stop; I'm talking from morning until we go to bed. All of these texting rules matter if you're just trying to sleep with a girl, but if you're looking for a long term relationship, texting a lot can be good. The willingness to text each other a lot just shows that you are really into each other and very compatible. You can do it and not come off as needy.

For those of you that are old enough to remember dating before texting, do you remember dating in high school when you were into someone and they were really into you? You probably talked non-stop for hours over the phone. Texting works the same way, as long as you use common sense.

The texting "rules" are not just for people trying to sleep with women. This thread is entirely proof of that alone without a million other resources. Constantly texting does not bode well for people often. No one says it never works out but I cam dig out 20 examples in this thread where it was obviously a sign that failure was imminent.

Not to call you out but I dont think this is accurate. If you text all the time "before" you have solidified mutual attractiveness, it does not bode well.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Been telling you goofs for at least the last 2 iterations of this thread that texting is for suckers.

 

[Granadier]

Been telling you goofs for at least the last 2 iterations of this thread that texting is for suckers.

telegrams 4 lyfe

 

[Armadilo]

Good morning and good night texts are good or a bad idea? ( don't really know the person yet)

 

[Assanova]

The texting "rules" are not just for people trying to sleep with women. This thread is entirely proof of that alone without a million other resources. Constantly texting does not bode well for people often. No one says it never works out but I cam dig out 20 examples in this thread where it was obviously a sign that failure was imminent.

Not to call you out but I dont think this is accurate. If you text all the time "before" you have solidified mutual attractiveness, it does not bode well.

I don't know about Jason's scenario, but mutual attraction has already been established in my situation. I can see why it might fall through if you've never met, but I believe that Jason had already met this girl before. As I mentioned earlier, I don't think the problem was his texting; I think the problem was his confidence and not being as physical as he could have been. It looks like she gave him a second chance to do this when she agreed on a second date with him. I have a strong belief that a guy has to make a woman feel like she is his or she will quickly lose interest no matter how compatible you are on a conversational level.

 

[wanderingprostheyltite]

Good morning and good night texts are good or a bad idea? ( don't really know the person yet)

Morning not so much, good night I only use if we're chatting at night and either of us are about to snooze.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

I didn't read the entire series of posts related to it, but after looking at post #12611, I don't think that the problem was texting at all. I think the problem was the lack of physical contact and making her feel like your woman. Based on just that post, I bet you didn't come off as confident as she would have liked. At some point, you just have to be physical and make her feel like you are a couple or she will give up on you no matter how well the conversation is.

Well, we had to rush to the restaurant to order and there was physical contact in the restaurant. I did my best when we were sitting across from each other. We walk to her car, hug and kissed each other on the cheeks. Then we kind of stand there awkward, she says well, time to go, we hug one more time and she kinda leads with me quickly following her with a quick kiss on the lips. That was it.

Yeah, for once that rarely if ever happens I wasn't confident going in for the kiss.

This was our second meet up.

 

[Assanova]

Well, we had to rush to the restaurant to order and there was physical contact. We walk to her car, hug and kissed each other on the cheeks. Then we kind of stand there awkward, she says well, time to go, we hug one more time and she kinda leads with me quickly following her with a quick kiss on the lips. That was it.

Yeah, for once that rarely if ever happens I wasn't confident going in for the kiss.

This was our second meet up.

Kisses on the cheeks. Hugs. A quick kiss on the lips. Now does any of that sound seductive to you? Try holding her, looking her in her eyes, and kissing her several times. Kiss her a few times throughout the date if at all possible. Women want to be seduced. If the chemistry is there during the conversation and you aren't going overboard with it, then they aren't going to stop you. They want you to take that risk, and if you can do it while still making them feel safe and comfortable, then you are golden.

Edit: after re-reading your post, it is also possible that the guy you portrayed yourself as via text wasn't the guy you came off as during the date. It is totally possible that she only went on a second date to be sure.

 

[Armadilo]

I kinda failed when I asked her if she wanted to do stuff ? She's a nice person, I was in disbelief as I just expected to get rejected

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I kinda failed when I asked her if she wanted to do stuff ? She's a nice person, I was in disbelief as I just expected to get rejected

Failed how? What "exactly" did you ask?

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Kisses on the cheeks. Hugs. A quick kiss on the lips. Now does any of that sound seductive to you? Try holding her, looking her in her eyes, and kissing her several times. Kiss her a few times throughout the date if at all possible. Women want to be seduced. If the chemistry is there during the conversation and you aren't going overboard with it, then they aren't going to stop you. They want you to take that risk, and if you can do it while still making them feel safe and comfortable, then you are golden.

Edit: after re-reading your post, it is also possible that the guy you portrayed yourself as via text wasn't the guy you came off as during the date. It is totally possible that she only went on a second date to be sure.

Yeah, I agree with this. But don't feel that you need to score a kiss mid-date, but it should happen at the end. Jason actually had solid overtures, like holding hands and walking together arm-in-arm. With my ex, I remember her saying that she appreciated simple things like sitting next to her rather than beside her and initiating kissing mid-date.

With my current lady friend, on our first date we were holding hands about an hour in; we walked in the cold and had arms around each other. I actually tried to kiss her while we were seated on a bench, and she rebuffed me (admittedly, there was a rat running around, which we laughed about last night). She mentioned having this rule, shared with her sister, about not having guys spend the night on the first date. (We ended up back at her place, where I kept trying to kiss her, and I did spend the night.)

Taking risks is a good thing.

 

[vern]

How do you think most girls would react, waking up to a "Good Morning" text from some guy they don't know very well? That's probably the reaction you'll get.

It depends. If it's just "good morning" only then yeah probably a bad idea. If it is "good morning...I wanna take out tomorrow at 6, how does that sound?" or some other meaningful thing then it's ok. Don't say things just to say things. Have a purpose.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Kisses on the cheeks. Hugs. A quick kiss on the lips. Now does any of that sound seductive to you? Try holding her, looking her in her eyes, and kissing her several times. Kiss her a few times throughout the date if at all possible. Women want to be seduced. If the chemistry is there during the conversation and you aren't going overboard with it, then they aren't going to stop you. They want you to take that risk, and if you can do it while still making them feel safe and comfortable, then you are golden.

Edit: after re-reading your post, it is also possible that the guy you portrayed yourself as via text wasn't the guy you came off as during the date. It is totally possible that she only went on a second date to be sure.

How can I kiss her thoughout the date when we sat across from each other? I guess I should've sat next to her. Also, she told me there she was teetering between going because she was tired, but decided to meet up because she thought id be mad. She was yawning a lot.

But yeah I can see your edit being right. But it was hard to gauge her interest when we were in front of her car. I'm used to girls showing the signs of me wanting to kiss them by their physical movements. Maybe she was just shy, and I didn't want to pressure.

When she kissed me on the lips i tried to go for a long one, but she pulled back resulting in a quick kiss on the lips.

We exchanged a couple of playful texts later that night, but it's possible the next day her opinion changed.