You're going to loathe me then.
The key difference is that I know talking smack about JB's Ys prowess will drive him nuts. I doubt you care as much.
Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
- Start date
- Status
The key difference is that I know talking smack about JB's Ys prowess will drive him nuts. I doubt you care as much.
These past few days I've been more anxious than I've been in a very long time. My last two shifts at work particularly have been awful due to the increased anxiety. By the end of the shift today and yesterday I was just completely wiped out from the stress.
On top of that, I've just been feeling weird physically and mentally. Can't really describe it. But I just don't feel like myself. It's very strange and disconcerting.
Thanks, buddy. I really appreciate that. You're a great guy.
On top of that, I've just been feeling weird physically and mentally. Can't really describe it. But I just don't feel like myself. It's very strange and disconcerting.
Thanks, buddy. I really appreciate that. You're a great guy.
My Ys skills are legendary. And let it be REMEMBERED that I have completed more of them than you have, oh equally legendary procrastiner of Celceta.
Also, Colin is begging for a beating.
Let's hug it out.
You need to understand that the ones I have completed, I completed better than you.
While I will concede that you seemed to die less against several of the bosses, this doesn't necessarily mean that you're better than me. It could just mean that you were using cheat codes.
No he is better than you. You are quite terrible at video games
You're going down, Mikey. Oh, and you suck at The Talos Principle.
whiterabbit
Member
I bought some "red rain Energy Shots for Mental Clarity and Focus" at K-Mart and I am pleasantly surprised that this supplement actually seems to work. (I feel better than usual.) It cost less than two dollars and is in a little bottle similar to 5-Hour energy.
I don't know if there are any therapists around here who specifically offer DBT, but I have done the discussions about irrational thoughts and behaviors and replacing them with positive ones, and the relaxation techniques and all that jazz. None of it seems to have helped.
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
well, it has caffeine. I just stick to a rockstar/monster (more water) or just coffee as some of those other supplements (niacin, beta alanine), can cause paresthesia, or "itchiness" especially on your extremities and can have some drug interactions.
Just don't take too much.
whiterabbit
Member
Yeah, I didn't realize it had caffeine. I was out on a bike ride, so my metabolism is probably up a little bit. I drink Rockstar and Monster too, but haven't felt as much of a buzz from those as this. I get jittery sometimes, but I've never really had that itchiness before. A friend told me B-vitamins are good for helping with mental illness too.
Hey, guys. I just wanted to post an update on how I'm feeling right now:
-For the past couple of months, I have been feeling pretty mellow. And, for the first time in a long while, I have been consistently happy.
-I'm waiting to hear back for a Design and Storyboard gig at DHX Media, and I hope I get it. In the meanwhile, I'm going to go back to my old night time shift at the grocery store that's near where I live, so at least I'll be getting some sort of an income coming in.
-Long Story-Short: A former friend and I were able to iron out the issues that had happened, and our friendship (for the most part) is back to status-quo. I have invited her to my place, and we just played catch up while playing video games.
So far, 2016 has been treating my mental health (& my well-being) with some good vibes, and I hope this continues throughout the year.
-For the past couple of months, I have been feeling pretty mellow. And, for the first time in a long while, I have been consistently happy.
-I'm waiting to hear back for a Design and Storyboard gig at DHX Media, and I hope I get it. In the meanwhile, I'm going to go back to my old night time shift at the grocery store that's near where I live, so at least I'll be getting some sort of an income coming in.
-Long Story-Short: A former friend and I were able to iron out the issues that had happened, and our friendship (for the most part) is back to status-quo. I have invited her to my place, and we just played catch up while playing video games.
So far, 2016 has been treating my mental health (& my well-being) with some good vibes, and I hope this continues throughout the year.
BUNTING1243
Banned
wrong thread, love you guys
Haven't posted in here in a while so thought I would check in. Just started school a few weeks ago in an Electrical Engineering Technology program and am really liking it. I've never been this driven, determined and motivated at school before (I graduated from college with my first degree over a decade ago) and I'm actually looking forward to taking subjects that I dreaded taking back when I was younger. I'm doing well in my classes and don't seem to have any of the anxiety I used to have in school. Even seriously considering taking the more advanced classes required to transfer to a 4-year EE program after I get my Associate's degree. This feels like the best decision I've possibly ever made. Seriously, a year or two ago I felt completely lost in life and hated going to bed at night because I knew that would only lead to having to get up in the morning. Now I'm studying cool shit and looking forward to working on a lab tomorrow in class. Feels john goodman.
Don't give up hope you fuckers!
Don't give up hope you fuckers!
Booker Dewitt
Member
So my roommate moved out today. I was actually able to stock up on on food spent fifty some dollars and kinda loaded up so I should be good on that front for a while.
I didn't call the employee assistance program, nor did I apply to the Circle K like I told myself I would after he left. I have work in about six hours, and I can't even think about sleeping cuz I'm afraid if I lay down I'll have a panic attack. I caught myself before I punched the bathroom mirror, and just wound up fidgeting in the doorway to the bathroom. I want to break something, I want to punch the wall until my hands hurt. But I won't.
I never thought that my problems would fix itself overnight, not with my roommate moving out or even moving to Colorado, but I'm afraid that I'm not gonna take road I need to better myself.
I didn't call the employee assistance program, nor did I apply to the Circle K like I told myself I would after he left. I have work in about six hours, and I can't even think about sleeping cuz I'm afraid if I lay down I'll have a panic attack. I caught myself before I punched the bathroom mirror, and just wound up fidgeting in the doorway to the bathroom. I want to break something, I want to punch the wall until my hands hurt. But I won't.
I never thought that my problems would fix itself overnight, not with my roommate moving out or even moving to Colorado, but I'm afraid that I'm not gonna take road I need to better myself.
You got this! I know it's really not easy, but try to relax, and breath. It'll be over in a few hours anyhow, one way or another. I know how you feel though. Got a crazy hard test in a few... and I didn't do homework in one of my classes as to prepare. Yay
Seriously though, you got this!
You got this! I know it's really not easy, but try to relax, and breath. It'll be over in a few hours anyhow, one way or another. I know how you feel though. Got a crazy hard test in a few... and I didn't do homework in one of my classes as to prepare. Yay
Seriously though, you got this!
Thanks for the words of support. I sure hope so I could really use this job it would make things much easier on me for once. I am confident in myself that I'll get it.
EDIT: Should get a call back later today telling me if I got it or not.
The past few days I've felt off mentally, had crazy general fatigue/soreness, and had mild nausea. It's like all the signs of a fever or cold or something except for the most obvious ones like congestion or a cough. So I guess I'm sick? Either that or something is just going quite wrong with my body.
Either way, that's obviously not helping my mental state. Feeling like shit physically only makes you feel more shitty mentally.
Either way, that's obviously not helping my mental state. Feeling like shit physically only makes you feel more shitty mentally.
And oh boy, does it. Sorry, dude.
You definitely know that better than almost anyone else...
Even just having this little bit of physical discomfort that I described makes me feel so much more empathy towards your situation. Hang in there, my man.
Edit: On the bright side, I'm taking this opportunity to enjoy some movies (that is, when I'm not working; unfortunately I've still been working quite a bit these past few days).
Thanks, breh. This entire year so far hasn't been nearly as bad as the end of last year was, where I was basically bedridden. I've been more uncomfortable the last week or so but still not badly enough to incapacitate me.
Any good movies?
Oh nice! I'm really glad to hear that! I hope things continue to improve for you.
Felt like watching some Coen Brothers movies, so I watched A Serious Man and Burn After Reading today.
A Serious Man was just excellent. Brilliant and hilarious.
Burn After Reading (which I'd seen one other time forever ago and didn't like it then but figured I might like it now) was very mediocre and is definitely my least favorite Coen Brothers movie.
I also saw Inglourious Basterds for the first time a couple days ago. That was really great too. Think I might watch Pulp Fiction now since I haven't seen that yet and really ought to have seen it already.
Yet again it seems like you're operating from a set of assumptions about the harm you're causing the universe that I simply disagree with. As of yet you have described nothing I would deem as harmful to the world, and the things you have described instead just speak further to a very critical perception of yourself. You're not wasting oxygen - there's plenty to go around. Having unpleasant interactions with others is not "spreading harm", it's simply part of the ups and downs of our social environment. Your privilege was not a waste in the sense that there is no universal expectation of what one makes of one's lot in this life, and, in my opinion, no god-given purpose that we are obligated to fulfill. Hence why the work of pursuing happiness is so important - it gives us the direction that we otherwise lack.
I hope you can see the gist of what I'm saying, though I'm having trouble articulating it. Not having these answers now, or not meeting the criteria of success we've arbitrarily laid for ourselves does not define us as unfit for the universe - there's a big leap there between "I do not know / I do not like" and "I do not fit".
I was wondering most about the mindfulness aspects of DBT, Steamlord, which have helped me tremendously in ways that CBT could not at the time. Sometimes my suffering is such that I can quantify, restructure and modify it, other times that sort of stuff feels like reorganizing my socks while the house is on fire. Whereas mindfulness is simply training me to be at peace with the flames.
You have no idea what a smile it put on my face to read both of these! I hope you continue to find happiness where you can and contentment where you cannot
It's probably worth following up tomorrow if you still haven't heard anything, redlegs. No matter what happens, it's a learning experience and an accomplishment in and of itself
I'm going to take a bit more space from this thread for the time being while I try to work through a difficult situation in my own life. Without going into too much agonizing detail I'm dealing with the loss of a very long-term love and as it's sinking in further and further I'm finding more and more hurt I need to tend to and emptiness I need to find healthy ways to fill.
So apologies in advance if my responses (including the one above) are a bit less comprehensive for a little while or my presence more spotty. I'm going to try to pop in when I can, but I've found it's torturous trying to offer solace to others on nights when I haven't found any for myself.
If you've got any tips on losing love and filling that emptiness in a healthy way I'm all ears. In the mean time, I have found it helpful to repeat to myself:
One step at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time.
Love to all <3
So apologies in advance if my responses (including the one above) are a bit less comprehensive for a little while or my presence more spotty. I'm going to try to pop in when I can, but I've found it's torturous trying to offer solace to others on nights when I haven't found any for myself.
If you've got any tips on losing love and filling that emptiness in a healthy way I'm all ears. In the mean time, I have found it helpful to repeat to myself:
One step at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time.
Love to all <3
Unfortunately, I've got no advice at all for you since I'm very inexperienced when it comes to loving relationships, but I wanted to give you some encouragement nonetheless. I hope you are able to work through this stuff and come out the other side stronger and happier. Good luck man. And feel completely free to take as long of a break as you need.
Oh hey, a depression topic. That's me!
Good luck! I am also applying to jobs that will hopefully make me less miserable so I can stop using all my PTO for sleeping 18 hours a day. I got two emails requesting a quick phone interview today. Trying not to get my hopes up, since my last experience was the company cancelling my in person interview the day of because they decided they filled it Job seeking does not do anything to help me like life more.
Good luck! I am also applying to jobs that will hopefully make me less miserable so I can stop using all my PTO for sleeping 18 hours a day. I got two emails requesting a quick phone interview today. Trying not to get my hopes up, since my last experience was the company cancelling my in person interview the day of because they decided they filled it
Job seeking does not do anything to help me like life more.Team Alucard
Banned
Does anyone have experience with depersonalization? Like getting to a point where you don't feel or care about anything at all anymore? I feel as though that might be my last chance to continue living.
I don't have any tips for you, Piano, but you're my fav and I'm around if you need someone to listen.
Take care of yourself! You've done more than your fair share of good in here for the year already. <3
EverythingShiny
Member
I've posted a few times in this thread about my various issues, but for the most part, I've been doing really well lately. Something really strange happened last night, though, and I'm not sure if it was anxiety related or not. Maybe someone has had a similar experience?
I have my green card and medical marijuana helps a lot with my insomnia. I usually have some before bed every night and it helps me sleep. I've never had an adverse effect in the 2+ years I've been using it regularly. I do have some major anxiety issues and I'm an emetophobe (fear of vomiting) which is no longer debilitating but it's always present and something I'm afraid of. Needless to say, what I'm about to post is triggering if you're also emetophobic.
Anyway, a few minutes after I took a hit (not much and it's the same strain I'd had the night before), I started feeling really anxious and like I was going to throw up. I got up, changed out of my sweater because I got really hot all of a sudden, started walking back into the living room when I started feeling even worse, yelled to my boyfriend that I needed help and woke up on the floor with him standing over me. I'd fainted. He helped me up and I crawled to the toilet and threw up. I felt better afterward but all day today my anxiety's been worse and I'm really freaked out by what happened.
Was that just a really terrible panic attack? I've had panic attacks before (I was on a daily dose of klonopin for 2 years straight because my anxiety/phobia/panic issues were so bad) but I've never lost consciousness and I've never thrown up as a result. I actually didn't think it was possible to just faint from a panic attack. I'm not sure if the pot triggered anything, but like I said I vape all the time, only use stuff from a trusted dispensary and I'd had the strain the day before with no problem.
Has anyone had such a severe panic attack before?
I have my green card and medical marijuana helps a lot with my insomnia. I usually have some before bed every night and it helps me sleep. I've never had an adverse effect in the 2+ years I've been using it regularly. I do have some major anxiety issues and I'm an emetophobe (fear of vomiting) which is no longer debilitating but it's always present and something I'm afraid of. Needless to say, what I'm about to post is triggering if you're also emetophobic.
Anyway, a few minutes after I took a hit (not much and it's the same strain I'd had the night before), I started feeling really anxious and like I was going to throw up. I got up, changed out of my sweater because I got really hot all of a sudden, started walking back into the living room when I started feeling even worse, yelled to my boyfriend that I needed help and woke up on the floor with him standing over me. I'd fainted. He helped me up and I crawled to the toilet and threw up. I felt better afterward but all day today my anxiety's been worse and I'm really freaked out by what happened.
Was that just a really terrible panic attack? I've had panic attacks before (I was on a daily dose of klonopin for 2 years straight because my anxiety/phobia/panic issues were so bad) but I've never lost consciousness and I've never thrown up as a result. I actually didn't think it was possible to just faint from a panic attack. I'm not sure if the pot triggered anything, but like I said I vape all the time, only use stuff from a trusted dispensary and I'd had the strain the day before with no problem.
Has anyone had such a severe panic attack before?
Teriyaki Blues
Member
Yes, while on Buspar. It also threatens to happen now if I'm having an anxiety attack outside of my home or other place I consider "safe".
My understanding is that this is because of the vasovagal response, where your body reacts to stress and anxiety by bottoming out your heart rate and blood pressure. Then you faint (syncope).
I'm the kind of person who has syncope seizures, so I will do almost anything to avoid it.
You might want to read the Wikipedia entry on this, using marijuana can trigger it. It was probably a combination of things, a perfect storm of mental and physical conditions, especially if this is your first time experiencing it.
It is scary. I hate that you're going through this. If it happens again, absolutely go to the doctor and get advise from your dispenser about which strains cause the least amount of blood pressure changes. Also, you know what your triggers "feel" like now, that unnatural and probably flushed feeling of hotness was your body's warning system. Laying down immediately (elevating my feet helps a lot) and putting a cold, wet washcloth on pulse points can help keep you from fainting. Get up very slowly after an incident.
Today I confessed to my best friend that I have feelings for her. I was slightly more certain than not that she wasn't interested in me that way, but I really needed to get it off my chest.
Anyway, she doesn't see me that way, but it's okay because she was totally understanding and not mad at me for having feelings for her, and we're still best friends.
Anyway, she doesn't see me that way, but it's okay because she was totally understanding and not mad at me for having feelings for her, and we're still best friends.
Sent in an application to a program I really want to get into for the summer without proof reading and now I'm freaking out. I'm trying to gather data for a research project and that's making me anxious as fuck. And I feel like I'm a bit behind in my classes because I took a semester off of continuing math courses and now my calculus is rusty.
Just a ball of anxiety.
Just a ball of anxiety.
I wish I could give you actual advice but you're an amazing person, no need to apologize, and I hope you find your solace. <3
I haven't had anything like that happen, but I hope you figure it out.
Saw my psychiatrist again today and he took me off the zoloft and wellbutrin and prescribed me tofranil. Hopefully it does something. I dunno.
No worries, you've done more here than anyone could reasonably expect. I don't have any advice, but good luck.
No worries, you've done more here than anyone could reasonably expect. I don't have any advice, but good luck.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
It's easy to tell someone things will get better when you're not the person struggling. How long until things get better? A few months? A few years? Decades? No one can answer that question. Expecting someone who has been suffering for a very long time to hold on until things improve is selfish reasoning.
Astral Dog
Member
Goodbye Piano
💝💝 💝💝
💝🍡🍡💝🍡🍡💝
💝🍡🍡🍡🍡🍡💝
💝 Miss you! 💝
💝🍡🍡🍡💝
💝🍡💝
💝
its suppossed to be a heart
I don't know how to say this without sounding like an after school special, but here goes.
The best advice that I can give to you, is this: Life isn't perfect - hell, it can sure sting at times. People can be both wonderful & terrible, from all walks of life, of all races, all creeds, all colours.
It's all in how you can carry yourself through it.
Take care of yourself, man. This place is always open, so feel free to drop by. :3
While I don't ever feel like I can fully "not care", I have experienced this to some extremes. I've been through excessive trauma by way of constant domestic violence and abuse since before I could speak, listening to a parent be raped occasionally, and abused constantly by the other one.
I have been intentionally targeted by a small group of people who knew some of my family growing up when I was trying to make friends, but was raped by an individual in the group instead, with the help of the group.
I've been followed, harassed, stalked, had a 40-50 year old man try to abuse/lure me out of my first non-government workplace when I was 15 and try to get my cell phone number, grew up around constant death threats, threats of violence, actual violence, emotional and financial abuse, constant manipulation and progressively worse gaslighting at the hands of family members to keep me from telling anyone what I was constantly surrounded by, family members lying and passing on lies to facilitate deaths being faked, and fake funeral services in a hall or gym by those pathetic family members because some people can't get a fucking divorce like a real human being, was isolated from "outsiders" growing up and raised like an abducted child almost, have been referred to and dehumanized as a "dog", have lived in an area where I had to run to make it inside and pull the door shut when a tornado touched down and where there was state-of-emergency levels of flooding, almost needing to be evacuated, have had to live outside briefly to escape an abusive relationship, have had a teacher in a position of authority abuse that and sexually abuse me, etc.
But because I was raised, abused, lied to and bullied by family (father, uncle, one particular lying cousin (feel bad for her children), etc) at such a young age, and caught up between them all trying to fight, blame and play off each other's disgusting attempts to keep up their shit veneer, I learned to "shut off" or dissociate very young. I was borderline mute/feral when I was very young, before getting into school and was frequently left alone with the family dog. I learned that depersonalization- "to go away and not be there" when something was happening, very young.
It's not easy to get through, whatever caused you to get to that point. I cannot fully "not care", but in a way where I care about my own life, and any good people I meet now.
If extreme depression had caused this for you, I hope you seek help (and it would explain the not caring part). Believe me when I say that if you let yourself settle into and get used to this state, it can lead to symptoms worsening. Try to notice if there are any triggers that make your mind "want" to depersonalize and not care.
It will be hard at first because you will feel awful. If you have any family or close friends who are good people that are capable of being understanding and not selfish whack jobs, let them know you're going through some stuff/not feeling well, and gauge their response to see if they are even worth being part of your life and recovery. A professional might be the best place to get started though. Jarring yourself out of this and building yourself up from there will take time, some help, maybe a counsellor or some therapy, etc.
Edit:
Also, Piano, "you do you" in all the ways. You're awesome and the time away to deal with this is important for you. Don't be afraid to reach out to anyone here, or drop into depgaf irc. We're here for you, howeve you want us to be.
On a "funny", positive note, I have a job interview today, so I went to bed early last night. Got enough sleep but woke up extra early to that gut wrenching "monthly gift" starting. So I'm going to be sitting in a job interview soon while my uterus goes bananas and try not to throw up. First day is always the worst. Heh >.>
Yeah, I get what you're saying there. Tends to come across as "throw away" advice to me when the other person just doesn't know what else to say. Opposed to being some sort of profound guarantee that things will definitely get better. Because there is no guarantee. Some can go their entire life without getting out of it what they were looking for, for one reason or another.
The conclusion I'm starting to come to is that while there is no guarantee, you can at least increase your odds by not being afraid of exposing yourself to the world. Doing more things, finding yourself in new environments, interacting with a wider range of people. Which is all easier said than done, and you may find yourself wanting to retreat when things don't go as planned. But I feel that's the best shot we have of things improving.
You should check out Montage of Heck on Netflix (If you have it, and haven't seen it) pretty good!
lastflowers
Banned
have you seen Miller's Crossing and Barton Fink?
Saiyan-Rox
Member
So i'm back once again :/
I'm slowly but surely starting to regress back into the state I was in back in 2014 and in that state I went and done something that even now i hate myself and I already hate myself so the fact I did that makes the hate so much worse and have only told my best friend about what I did.
So now i'm slowly going back into that state i'm thinking about doing it again (and no it doesn't involve any sort of self harm/killing) my brain just for some reason loves to make me make bad decisions that make me feel worse about myself afterwords i'm self destructing here.
and lately i'm deciding if my friends are even my friends. I know that guys will always take the piss out of each other and I can take it but lately I can't. I'm usually the first one that would put myself down for a joke (I do genuinely hate myself and think i'm fugly) but lately my friends are now doing it in a really nasty way like sliding it into convos that I look like a burn victim even when it wasn't relevant or overdoing it in calling me thick and stupid.
AT Xmas my friends planned Star Wars behind my back and only let it slip by mistake and today I find out they planned a holiday this year swell and I only found out via a third party by mistake.
in a skype call with my other 2 friends they'll constantly gang up on me about how I look because they know I hate my looks and it's really really getting to me.
I don't know why I can't shake these off anymore and they;re getting to me so damn much and I don't know what to do everything seems so fucked up and my head is fried. I don't want to do what I did again to try and cheer myself up as I know I will use it against myself and it'll come back to haunt me but atm it's all my mind is focusing on.
I wish I had my closest friends here but one moved away and I see her once every year and the other is away doing Uni (these are 2 different friends, my best friends) thankfully I'm visiting one next week so hopefully that'll cheer me up and stop me thinking things but as soon as I come home i'm back to the constant shit.
I hope this makes sense as I said my head is fried.
I'm slowly but surely starting to regress back into the state I was in back in 2014 and in that state I went and done something that even now i hate myself and I already hate myself so the fact I did that makes the hate so much worse and have only told my best friend about what I did.
So now i'm slowly going back into that state i'm thinking about doing it again (and no it doesn't involve any sort of self harm/killing) my brain just for some reason loves to make me make bad decisions that make me feel worse about myself afterwords i'm self destructing here.
and lately i'm deciding if my friends are even my friends. I know that guys will always take the piss out of each other and I can take it but lately I can't. I'm usually the first one that would put myself down for a joke (I do genuinely hate myself and think i'm fugly) but lately my friends are now doing it in a really nasty way like sliding it into convos that I look like a burn victim even when it wasn't relevant or overdoing it in calling me thick and stupid.
AT Xmas my friends planned Star Wars behind my back and only let it slip by mistake and today I find out they planned a holiday this year swell and I only found out via a third party by mistake.
in a skype call with my other 2 friends they'll constantly gang up on me about how I look because they know I hate my looks and it's really really getting to me.
I don't know why I can't shake these off anymore and they;re getting to me so damn much and I don't know what to do everything seems so fucked up and my head is fried. I don't want to do what I did again to try and cheer myself up as I know I will use it against myself and it'll come back to haunt me but atm it's all my mind is focusing on.
I wish I had my closest friends here but one moved away and I see her once every year and the other is away doing Uni (these are 2 different friends, my best friends) thankfully I'm visiting one next week so hopefully that'll cheer me up and stop me thinking things but as soon as I come home i'm back to the constant shit.
I hope this makes sense as I said my head is fried.
I've seen Miller's Crossing, but I haven't seen Barton Fink yet! Maybe I should do that today.
Barton Fink is great! Maybe I'll watch it too.
- Status