I don't use Instagram so I don't know but can you not block her there as well? Seems like you were doing fine when you blocked her everywhere else. It will just be a matter of never unblocking her to give her a chance in your life. She is treating you like a toy she'll come back to when she is a bit lonely/bored. Block her everywhere and don't bother talking to her.
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
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I don't use Instagram so I don't know but can you not block her there as well? Seems like you were doing fine when you blocked her everywhere else. It will just be a matter of never unblocking her to give her a chance in your life. She is treating you like a toy she'll come back to when she is a bit lonely/bored. Block her everywhere and don't bother talking to her.
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
Thanks, yeah this is my feeling too. Will probably sit this one out.
edit: Yeah jpop block her on everything, toxic situation you're in. Been there before it ain't pretty, only gets worse with time and enables the other person too.
Raven117
Member
If that doesn't do it, I don't know what to tell ya.
If she is effecting you this way, you have to let it go.
I read your post twice and still have no idea what you're talking about
Thank you, that was simple
This.
It's convenient how she dumped you just before Valentine's and wanted to reconnect just after. Looks like her plans fell through and you're her safe backup.
Yes to both. Europe since it would be good convo material. Dogs because the cuteness level.
No shirtless/gym pictures. Keep the selfie to one (if any). And no females in the pictures (or at least blur them out).
Have fun with the bio too, and don't take it seriously. Most likely no one will read it.
I change mine up often with dumb crap. Right now it says:
"I enjoy pancakes and snowboarding. Preferably together."
Gotdatmoney
Member
I just wanna point this out again, can people not be so fucking cryptic. What the fuck is this? How hard is it to say "She has an STI" instead of all this biblical shit?
Anyway, from what I gather, what she has is very common in the general populace. Just do your research and them decide if it's something you can live with.
I'm awful at bios. My Facebook doesn't even have one because every time I try to write one it turns out overly critical.
Thanks y'all. The bio was my weak spot before since I'm not exactly good with clever but short stuff.
Think I've got pictures covered- now just need to find the best ones...
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
I remember you guys was talking about having things in common can be plus but not really a big deal; so I was wonder if being relatable is under the same umbrella?
ZackieChan
Member
Rise from your grave.
Your bio can help you get swipes. But yes, generally most ignore the bio. I haven gotten swipes because of it, so there are women that read them.
My bio:
"Programmer by day, beer lover by night, sometimes funny, winner of a beauty contest in monopoly, movie buff, Mets/Jets fan.
Also, must be willing to be second to pizza."
You can have a relationship without sharing everything in common. You cannot have a relationship without trust.
Why are you talking about reliability anyway? Are you talking about a girl or a used automobile?
ZackieChan
Member
Went on another date last night. Tinder again. First matched with this girl maybe a year ago, we talked for a bit, followed each other on instagram, after a while she stopped responding. Eh.
About a month ago we matched again (I restart my account every so often). Talked for a while again. Im assuming she still knew it was me (had liked 2 of my insta photos a few weeks ago, so I know she still follows me). We talked for a while, no response again, but then on friday or thereabouts she started messaging again (presuming she just hadn't been on tinder in the interim?).
So that I wouldn't lose contact again, offered for her to shoot me a text sometime, . She told me she has no phone plan because she's going tree planting up North in April for 2 months, and wasn't going to get a plan until she was back, but that she'd be down to meet up!
So that was last night. We grabbed some (like, 5) coffees at the cafe she works at and shot the shit for 5 hours or so. Had a great time, things were going really well, we both seemed to enjoy each other's company. When it came time to leave, she said that she really enjoyed her night, wants to do something again this coming weekend. She told me if I wanted to get ahold of her I could message her on Facebook, and that she had just added me so that I could. Good signs.
Now is somewhat the panic-setting-in-time for me. I have no problem on dates at all, but it's continuing things I seem to struggle with. I go on a lot of dates with a lot of people that all seem to go really well, but they all stop responding to me after about 3 dates or so. So I struggle to further things, and haven't been able to figure out why. Messaging on facebook is a really strange thing to me. It doesn't feel personal. It doesn't feel like the kind of thing where you message someone to say "Hey, how was work today?". But she told me that that's how she communicates with everyone since no phone number. So I dunno.
I messaged her this morning asking about the band she mentioned last night, because I wanted to give them a listen. She told me (the Front Bottoms), I mentioned she definitely seemed to have good music taste, and should throw some more music my way if she comes across anything. The typical "Seen at xx:xx" followed, and no response.
Maybe a stupid question, but what do I do for here? Is facebook the kind of place to be asking about her day and stuff? Maybe it is, but we don't know each other well enough for her to want to talk about it? There's obviously some interest, considering she added me so we could talk more, etc, but I don't know how to push things further from here with her. Feels kind of strange because I don't know exactly what she's looking for considering she leaves for 2 months in 2 months, so I'm not sure how to take things. But no response is never a good sign.
Her and I had a ton in common and got along really well, and she's also one of the most attractive people I've ever met, so it would be great to not screw this one up. Any advice? Anyone been here before?
About a month ago we matched again (I restart my account every so often). Talked for a while again. Im assuming she still knew it was me (had liked 2 of my insta photos a few weeks ago, so I know she still follows me). We talked for a while, no response again, but then on friday or thereabouts she started messaging again (presuming she just hadn't been on tinder in the interim?).
So that I wouldn't lose contact again, offered for her to shoot me a text sometime, . She told me she has no phone plan because she's going tree planting up North in April for 2 months, and wasn't going to get a plan until she was back, but that she'd be down to meet up!
So that was last night. We grabbed some (like, 5) coffees at the cafe she works at and shot the shit for 5 hours or so. Had a great time, things were going really well, we both seemed to enjoy each other's company. When it came time to leave, she said that she really enjoyed her night, wants to do something again this coming weekend. She told me if I wanted to get ahold of her I could message her on Facebook, and that she had just added me so that I could. Good signs.
Now is somewhat the panic-setting-in-time for me. I have no problem on dates at all, but it's continuing things I seem to struggle with. I go on a lot of dates with a lot of people that all seem to go really well, but they all stop responding to me after about 3 dates or so. So I struggle to further things, and haven't been able to figure out why. Messaging on facebook is a really strange thing to me. It doesn't feel personal. It doesn't feel like the kind of thing where you message someone to say "Hey, how was work today?". But she told me that that's how she communicates with everyone since no phone number. So I dunno.
I messaged her this morning asking about the band she mentioned last night, because I wanted to give them a listen. She told me (the Front Bottoms), I mentioned she definitely seemed to have good music taste, and should throw some more music my way if she comes across anything. The typical "Seen at xx:xx" followed, and no response.
Maybe a stupid question, but what do I do for here? Is facebook the kind of place to be asking about her day and stuff? Maybe it is, but we don't know each other well enough for her to want to talk about it? There's obviously some interest, considering she added me so we could talk more, etc, but I don't know how to push things further from here with her. Feels kind of strange because I don't know exactly what she's looking for considering she leaves for 2 months in 2 months, so I'm not sure how to take things. But no response is never a good sign.
Her and I had a ton in common and got along really well, and she's also one of the most attractive people I've ever met, so it would be great to not screw this one up. Any advice? Anyone been here before?
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Uh how they can relate to each other while being matched up or something.
It was a typo.
ZackieChan
Member
Maybe you could CORRECT THE TYPO so your comment makes sense, then? Then maybe people can answer?
Or you could be intentionally vague and dole out vital information slowly, like before, thereby making us all crazy and not want to help you?
Ah, you meant Relatability. Still an awkward question. Are you asking how important it is to be able to sympathize and connect with a potential match? You can not have things in common with someone, and still be able to connect with them through the emotions those things elicit in them.
Sneakers has been taking lessons from the master of cryptology, Gooch 
In any case, he means relatability. That's a bit of a vague term when it comes to dating, though. What do you really mean? I think a specific example would be more useful being being the cryptoking.
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Also, seriously, don't worry too much about the bio, guys. Mine was a Nigerian prince email scam. If that worked for me, you can really just write whatever you want. Go nuts! Just don't make it generic/boring/fact-checklist. Spice it up with your personality.
In any case, he means relatability. That's a bit of a vague term when it comes to dating, though. What do you really mean? I think a specific example would be more useful being being the cryptoking.
---
Also, seriously, don't worry too much about the bio, guys. Mine was a Nigerian prince email scam. If that worked for me, you can really just write whatever you want. Go nuts! Just don't make it generic/boring/fact-checklist. Spice it up with your personality.
Once again, another post from me on the subject of this girl in my class.
Well, I had an interest in her after a while. She made some strange gestures towards me during the last semester that kind of alarmed me.
Anyways, today, we end up in the classroom alone again. My instructor was holding a demonstration. The whole class left to watch it, but I stayed to work on my other work. She comes back in and mentions that she has already seen the demo in ceramics last semester. (slight hint of bullshit, we never learned that in ceramics.)
We then start to chat, and she starts asking me tons of questions.
She starts off casual, but she starts to ask about my family, where I'm from, how I ended up back in CA, who I stay with, brothers and sisters, the whole shtick. She then compliments me on how "smart" I am, and basically says that I'm really experienced as a person and that I know the right thing to say. I declined her mentioning of me being smart, but she pressed that that is how she felt about me.
(I barely know who I am, so hearing this about myself is distressing to me quite honestly.)
I mean, I feel like we're really comfortable around each other when there is no one around, but when others are around, I can feel tension around us. She doesn't talk to anyone else in the class the way she speaks to me.
So, do you all think it's appropriate for me to approach her with the idea of spending some time together? I'm just afraid of overstepping. She's definitely not afraid of initiating physical contact.
Well, I had an interest in her after a while. She made some strange gestures towards me during the last semester that kind of alarmed me.
Anyways, today, we end up in the classroom alone again. My instructor was holding a demonstration. The whole class left to watch it, but I stayed to work on my other work. She comes back in and mentions that she has already seen the demo in ceramics last semester. (slight hint of bullshit, we never learned that in ceramics.)
We then start to chat, and she starts asking me tons of questions.
She starts off casual, but she starts to ask about my family, where I'm from, how I ended up back in CA, who I stay with, brothers and sisters, the whole shtick. She then compliments me on how "smart" I am, and basically says that I'm really experienced as a person and that I know the right thing to say. I declined her mentioning of me being smart, but she pressed that that is how she felt about me.
(I barely know who I am, so hearing this about myself is distressing to me quite honestly.)
I mean, I feel like we're really comfortable around each other when there is no one around, but when others are around, I can feel tension around us. She doesn't talk to anyone else in the class the way she speaks to me.
So, do you all think it's appropriate for me to approach her with the idea of spending some time together? I'm just afraid of overstepping. She's definitely not afraid of initiating physical contact.
Fuck. Yes. Go for it.
I went ahead and bolded all of the multiple hints she was lobbing your way in case you have any doubts.
Candid shirtless pictures should be okay, whether on vacation or wherever. Shirtless/gym selfies are what you generally want to avoid (though if you have a great body a portion of girls will throw themselves at you regardless).
I don't see what's wrong with having females in your pictures.
Damn, I don't know what to think about it.
After reading what you mentioned, I kind of got a lump in my throat. I don't want to ruin a good relationship if it goes wrong.
I guess I'll go on and consider mentioning getting together for a few hours. Beforehand, I'll continue to give advice on her artwork and help her.
If I were feeling the way that I was a few months ago, I would have been an absolute dick go her inadvertently. But after reflection a month ago, I decided that I should at least try when an opportunity comes along.
It's scary, especially since the last time I asked a girl out, it turned out that she was married. That was a punch in the gut.
Anyone else have any advice?
DJ Jazzy J
Neo Member
If a guy has a bunch of pics with girls or 1 girl multiple times in his pics, I assume she's an ex he's not over or that he's not serious. I hate to use the word playboy, but that's the best way to describe it.
Ok so been talking on and off with this girl I matched with on tinder but only in the app. I've asked a couple times for her number but she says she doesn't give it out quickly/easily.
Seeing as I don't have much going on in this aspect of life I figure I'll keep talking to her through the app for a while. How likely is it that it's more about passing the time for her than actually meeting someone?
Seeing as I don't have much going on in this aspect of life I figure I'll keep talking to her through the app for a while. How likely is it that it's more about passing the time for her than actually meeting someone?
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
If you're not getting a number several days into chatting with them on tinder move on I say. Yes, plenty of girls (people) use these apps for attention too, it can be frustrating. I dealt with one earlier today even, once you pick up that scent of inattention or someone that doesn't seem to have much engagement it's usually just a casual chit chat deal for them. For all I know you have great banter with them though, if that's the case see how it plays out for a few more days, anything more than that and you're gettin jerked around. Also you could try making plans to do something with them without the number, I've done this before. Some gals will meet you over handing a number out. Good luck.
Everyone here will tell you the same thing - ask her out! We'd all wish for signs this clear. She's making excuses to see you, she's complimenting you, there's physical contact, she wants to know about your family...if you take too long to respond, she'll just assume you're not interested and move on.
Shuggananas
Banned
What do you mean rebound ?
If you mean casual sex, and you're both on the same page, why not
If you mean casual sex, and you're both on the same page, why not
Idk is rebound used in english for when you start seeing someone just to forget the person that came before? lol
And no i don't think we're on the same page, she's into me but i'm pretty indifferent to her, i'm feeling kind of guilty because i simply don't want to stay alone atm.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
Yeah that's a thing people do. I've done that, but luckily the girl was just as apathetic. Probably wouldn't advise using her like that if you know shes more into it.
alright GAF, need some advice. Have been talking to a girl who lives in a different city (about 1 1/2 hrs by plane) since late October. She came down in December for a friends birthday and we met up for coffee, i went up in January for a weekend and had brunch with her
so far, so good. We both seem to like each other and the understanding is basically get to know each other better and she would try and come down in March/April and after that kind of make a decision on what this is
the problem is, essentially we don't get to talk that much. She is not a big texter so its maybe 1-2 messages a day and probably a phone call on the weekend. I just find it very difficult, especially in a long distance relationship to develop a connection with someone with such limited communication but when i brought it up indirectly....she didn't see any problem with it, if anything she seemed more serious by asking if i could see myself in a serious relationship in the next 6 months, do i see myself having kids ect.
secondly, today she told me that she can only come down in June due to being busy with work/study which makes me think i'm going to be stuck in this limbo until June. I'm thinking about saying that if she can't make it, i'm happy to fly up in the next few weeks so we can figure this out but that does seem kind of desperate.
i don't know GAF, should i just cut my losses?
so far, so good. We both seem to like each other and the understanding is basically get to know each other better and she would try and come down in March/April and after that kind of make a decision on what this is
the problem is, essentially we don't get to talk that much. She is not a big texter so its maybe 1-2 messages a day and probably a phone call on the weekend. I just find it very difficult, especially in a long distance relationship to develop a connection with someone with such limited communication but when i brought it up indirectly....she didn't see any problem with it, if anything she seemed more serious by asking if i could see myself in a serious relationship in the next 6 months, do i see myself having kids ect.
secondly, today she told me that she can only come down in June due to being busy with work/study which makes me think i'm going to be stuck in this limbo until June. I'm thinking about saying that if she can't make it, i'm happy to fly up in the next few weeks so we can figure this out but that does seem kind of desperate.
i don't know GAF, should i just cut my losses?
Don't fall in love with people you haven't even asked out yet.
If you met someone you were interested in, you'd want to meet them and get out of the app textin asap, right? The lack of progress is a red flag.
Tell her you're only allowed one phone call from prison, but you need her number first.
Don't do this.
If you're uncomfortable with the level of communication in a LDR, it's a massive red flag. If she's not responsive to your needs after you brimg it up, that's another one.
Date someone local. Don't start a long distance. If you're in a relationship and it becomes long distance that's fine, but long distance blows.
Shuggananas
Banned
Yep, long distance is ass
Bumping for a new page.
In short, anyone know what's sort of "the norm" when it comes to how often to talk to someone you've only just been on a date with? I'm used to texting people all the time in the days before and after dates. That's always seemed normal to me, as long as they're actually texting back, that is. But in the case of messaging on Facebook (because no phone), is it strange to try to talk to her everyday on there? Just doesn't feel like it'd be used for conversations like "how was work today" and etc. Should I keep conversation to a minimum apart from potentially making plans for this weekend, or is the whole her not messaging back a bad sign?
Are you referring to social media/online dating or texting people?
@GtwoK
Give her space. Really, message her a few times every once in a while to see how she's doing. You don't have to continuously message her stuff to keep her interested.
Facebook messenger can be less formal in some ways, but it's essentially just an easier way for people to chat. Did she give you her phone number at all?
Count Dookkake
Member
She's probably not that interested.
Fb messenger is basically the same as texting.
Try to wean yourself from the over-texting habit.
Fb messenger is basically the same as texting.
Try to wean yourself from the over-texting habit.
Ultima, you've known this person since October and the most you've done together is a brunch that you flew 1 1/2 hours for? And you only talk once a week?
C'mon son, that isn't any sort of relationship at all. One of you needs to shit or get off the pot. With her pushing things out until June, I doubt this will ever go anywhere.
C'mon son, that isn't any sort of relationship at all. One of you needs to shit or get off the pot. With her pushing things out until June, I doubt this will ever go anywhere.
Count Dookkake
Member
She's gonna be planting trees, but I don't think you'll be planting wood.
Oh, sorry, should have been more precise: I was referring to online dating (Okcupid in particular).
I found a nice girl with many similar interests (and 94% match, for what it's worth), so I sent a short message, pointing out what we have in common. In particular, we're both fans of a great but lesser known TV series, so I thought that'd be a nice conversation starter.
Count Dookkake
Member
No, it is I who should have been more precise. I was responding to GtwoK.
Sorry for confusion.
But looking over your situation, you have to accept that many, if not the majority, of your messages will go unanswered. It's just the way it goes.
Also, try to ignore your fear. Messages should take no courage, because they literally cost you nothing. Hang in there.
Sorry for confusion.
But looking over your situation, you have to accept that many, if not the majority, of your messages will go unanswered. It's just the way it goes.
Also, try to ignore your fear. Messages should take no courage, because they literally cost you nothing. Hang in there.
Shuggananas
Banned
You know there's even worse, when you get a match on tinder, send a light hearted opener, and then an hour later they fucking deleted you lmao
Gotta learn to move on, shit sucks in the online dating world for dudes in general
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