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[gwailo]

As an introvert with low self-esteem, it kind of hurts when people outright ignore my messages, especially considering it took me a while to actually muster up the courage to write them.

If you're talking about online dating, you'll just have to get used to it. Women can easily get dozens of messages a day so it's easy to get lost in the mix. My advice is to make sure to have a good profile picture and headline for the message. Also keep the message to around the length of a tweet. You're just basically saying hi, not giving the Gettysburg Address.

Edit: don't bother with saying stuff like "hey I like x band too" - tons of other guys are doing the same. Be a little more interesting/inventive.

 

[GtwoK]

She's probably not that interested.

Fb messenger is basically the same as texting.

Try to wean yourself from the over-texting habit.

If not interested, why end the date by adding me on facebook with the reasoning of "that I could continue to talk to her", then suggest that we meet up again next weekend? That's where I'm confused.

 

[Count Dookkake]

If not interested, why end the date by adding me on facebook with the reasoning of "that I could continue to talk to her", then suggest that we meet up again next weekend? That's where I'm confused.

Not that interested isn't exactly not interested.

You might have a chance if you play it cool.

However, over-texting will be the opposite of that.

 

[ant_]

Went on another date last night. Tinder again. First matched with this girl maybe a year ago, we talked for a bit, followed each other on instagram, after a while she stopped responding. Eh.

About a month ago we matched again (I restart my account every so often). Talked for a while again. Im assuming she still knew it was me (had liked 2 of my insta photos a few weeks ago, so I know she still follows me). We talked for a while, no response again, but then on friday or thereabouts she started messaging again (presuming she just hadn't been on tinder in the interim?).

So that I wouldn't lose contact again, offered for her to shoot me a text sometime, . She told me she has no phone plan because she's going tree planting up North in April for 2 months, and wasn't going to get a plan until she was back, but that she'd be down to meet up!

So that was last night. We grabbed some (like, 5) coffees at the cafe she works at and shot the shit for 5 hours or so. Had a great time, things were going really well, we both seemed to enjoy each other's company. When it came time to leave, she said that she really enjoyed her night, wants to do something again this coming weekend. She told me if I wanted to get ahold of her I could message her on Facebook, and that she had just added me so that I could. Good signs.

Now is somewhat the panic-setting-in-time for me. I have no problem on dates at all, but it's continuing things I seem to struggle with. I go on a lot of dates with a lot of people that all seem to go really well, but they all stop responding to me after about 3 dates or so. So I struggle to further things, and haven't been able to figure out why. Messaging on facebook is a really strange thing to me. It doesn't feel personal. It doesn't feel like the kind of thing where you message someone to say "Hey, how was work today?". But she told me that that's how she communicates with everyone since no phone number. So I dunno.

I messaged her this morning asking about the band she mentioned last night, because I wanted to give them a listen. She told me (the Front Bottoms), I mentioned she definitely seemed to have good music taste, and should throw some more music my way if she comes across anything. The typical "Seen at xx:xx" followed, and no response.

Maybe a stupid question, but what do I do for here? Is facebook the kind of place to be asking about her day and stuff? Maybe it is, but we don't know each other well enough for her to want to talk about it? There's obviously some interest, considering she added me so we could talk more, etc, but I don't know how to push things further from here with her. Feels kind of strange because I don't know exactly what she's looking for considering she leaves for 2 months in 2 months, so I'm not sure how to take things. But no response is never a good sign.

Her and I had a ton in common and got along really well, and she's also one of the most attractive people I've ever met, so it would be great to not screw this one up. Any advice? Anyone been here before?

Give it a day or two. Figure out a day you want to do something. Figure out what you want to do. Message her and say, "hey, want to do _____ with me on _______ ? " Put your own twist on it, but basically ask her out again.

Some people like messaging a lot. Some people don't.

Also, please get rid of the mindset that you have something to "screw up." That's a dangerous mindset, imo.

 

[Llyranor]

Also, try to ignore your fear. Messages should take no courage, because they literally cost you nothing. Hang in there.

This is solid advice.

You have nothing to lose when you send a message. Don't spend too much time and energy on writing them, just put whatever comes to mind (while keeping ot short).

You know there's even worse, when you get a match on tinder, send a light hearted opener, and then an hour later they fucking deleted you lmao
Gotta learn to move on, shit sucks in the online dating world for dudes in general

Or getting a match, getting a number, getting a date (but she has to get back to me to confirm because of her schedule), then radio silence. No confirmation, no nothing.

So I learned to appreciate the non-responses. They don't waste my time, and everyone goes their merry way

Also, please get rid of the mindset that you have something to "screw up." That's a dangerous mindset, imo.

This is true. If you are truly incompatible, then things won't work out anyway.

If things are 'going well', but you feel like you have to walk on eggshells to not screw up, or if you DO 'screw up' because some absolutely trivial thing that somehow mustered fabricated drama, then screwing up and having things end there is you being given a big favor

 

[Cudder]

If a guy has a bunch of pics with girls or 1 girl multiple times in his pics, I assume she's an ex he's not over or that he's not serious. I hate to use the word playboy, but that's the best way to describe it.

That's you, not everyone. Does it really matter what a random girl off Tinder you haven't even matched with yet thinks about the girls in your pics? Putting up pictures of yourself in social situations is always good, whether that's with girls or guys. Anything to make you seem like like you're not a forever alone basement dweller.

 

[GtwoK]

Not that interested isn't exactly not interested.

You might have a chance if you play it cool.

However, over-texting will be the opposite of that.

I am an over-texter for sure, but not in the panicky "why no reply" sense - that's just how I talk. My friends that I'm close with / girlfirends in the past are the same, just messaging each other to talk about nothing. It's just weird to me when others aren't because, well, when do you talk then? Do you only text your friends to make arrangements, and that's it, and the rest of your talking is done in person?

Also, please get rid of the mindset that you have something to "screw up." That's a dangerous mindset, imo.

Explain? By "Screw up" I'm referring to the fact that while in the past I've had tinder dated often turn into relationships, over the past year, ther will be 2, maybe 3 dates with each person, and then they cut off contact suddenly, even though everything appeared to be going well. I just don't understand the ghosting idea. That seems like something you reserve for people that are being assholes, or people that you don't like. Whatever happened to "Hey, was nice seeing you, but I don't think we'd work out, good luck though!"

Hell, I wish there was a way to ask a few of those dates "Okay, it seems like we wouldn't work in a relationship, but would you be cool with just being friends"? A lot of these people I would LOVE to just be friends with, they seem genuinely interesting, do interesting things, have things in common, all the makings of a great friendship. But they ghost instead.

End rant, I guess. C'est la vie.

 

[ant_]

Explain? By "Screw up" I'm referring to the fact that while in the past I've had tinder dated often turn into relationships, over the past year, ther will be 2, maybe 3 dates with each person, and then they cut off contact suddenly, even though everything appeared to be going well. I just don't understand the ghosting idea. That seems like something you reserve for people that are being assholes, or people that you don't like. Whatever happened to "Hey, was nice seeing you, but I don't think we'd work out, good luck though!"

Hell, I wish there was a way to ask a few of those dates "Okay, it seems like we wouldn't work in a relationship, but would you be cool with just being friends"? A lot of these people I would LOVE to just be friends with, they seem genuinely interesting, do interesting things, have things in common, all the makings of a great friendship. But they ghost instead.

End rant, I guess. C'est la vie.

Because a human interaction isn't something you can screw up. If someone doesn't want to spend time with you or talk to you, who cares? You didn't screw anything up. Everyone doesn't have to like you or want to talk to you or spend time with you. You should see it as a favor - you no longer have to waste your time on this person and can find someone who values you and enjoys your time.

It's a problem I had for a while. I was a people-pleaser and would bend my will (especially with those whom I was dating) just so I wouldn't "screw it up." This led to me being unhappy in relationships and feeling constricted as a person. Now I try and be myself. I am open about my video gaming habits and other habits that people may disagree with.

I want to spend time with people who LIKE the things I do, who enjoy my social interactions, my quirks, and my (admittedly) imperfections.

There is nothing to screw up man. There are plenty of women out there in general. Those that reject you are doing you a favor - it makes your path to finding one who enjoys you that much easier.

That being said, I'm pretty sure this girl is interested in you. You should ask her on another date.

 

[Makonero]

Explain? By "Screw up" I'm referring to the fact that while in the past I've had tinder dated often turn into relationships, over the past year, ther will be 2, maybe 3 dates with each person, and then they cut off contact suddenly, even though everything appeared to be going well. I just don't understand the ghosting idea. That seems like something you reserve for people that are being assholes, or people that you don't like. Whatever happened to "Hey, was nice seeing you, but I don't think we'd work out, good luck though!"

Hell, I wish there was a way to ask a few of those dates "Okay, it seems like we wouldn't work in a relationship, but would you be cool with just being friends"? A lot of these people I would LOVE to just be friends with, they seem genuinely interesting, do interesting things, have things in common, all the makings of a great friendship. But they ghost instead.

End rant, I guess. C'est la vie.

Assholes who reacted violently and cruelly to women they hardly know rejecting them happened.

 

[Palpable]

Is the bar at Yard House a good spot to take a girl to for drinks? This is a promising first date, I don't want to fumble.

Reasons why I thought of Yard House: not extravagant, chill atmosphere, close to where she lives

.

 

[Ambitious]

No, it is I who should have been more precise. I was responding to GtwoK.

Sorry for confusion.

But looking over your situation, you have to accept that many, if not the majority, of your messages will go unanswered. It's just the way it goes.

Also, try to ignore your fear. Messages should take no courage, because they literally cost you nothing. Hang in there.

My fault, I misread your post. But I noticed it immediately after posting and edited it.

I could never approach someone in real life (well, maybe under the right circumstances), so I figured I might just try a dating portal. Turns out for me it isn't as easy as I expected it to be. I'm not even really sure why I'm so hesitant. Fear of rejection, I guess? Fear of embarrassing myself? As a teenager, I didn't have this problem at all. I used to message anyone for whatever reason.

If you're talking about online dating, you'll just have to get used to it. Women can easily get dozens of messages a day so it's easy to get lost in the mix. My advice is to make sure to have a good profile picture and headline for the message. Also keep the message to around the length of a tweet. You're just basically saying hi, not giving the Gettysburg Address.

Edit: don't bother with saying stuff like "hey I like x band too" - tons of other guys are doing the same. Be a little more interesting/inventive.

Sure, I get that. But her profile was rather empty. Most of the sections were just oneliners, except for the "Your favorite food/movies/book" section which was full of things I love too. And as I mentioned in my second post, that TV show isn't particularly popular, so I can't imagine that many guys approach her about that one.
Regarding the length: The message wasn't that long. Not much more than what I mentioned above.

I'm not pissed or mad or anything, I just wish I knew what exactly made her dismiss me just like that, without even replying. Well, not just her, but them, actually: That's the second time this happened.

 

[Salamando]

Sure, I get that. But her profile was rather empty. Most of the sections were just oneliners, except for the "Your favorite food/movies/book" section which was full of things I love too. And as I mentioned in my second post, that TV show isn't particularly popular, so I can't imagine that many guys approach her about that one.
Regarding the length: The message wasn't that long. Not much more than what I mentioned above.

I'm not pissed or mad or anything, I just wish I knew what exactly made her dismiss me just like that, without even replying. Well, not just her, but them, actually: That's the second time this happened.

In cases like that, I just compliment their taste and ask them something kinda random that I think they'd have fun answering. Maybe ask them what superpower they'd pick. Or if they could domesticate any animal, which would they choose.

You'll never know why someone doesn't respond, so don't dwell too much on it. Some girls receive a ton of messages. Yours might have just gotten lost in the noise. The girls could also be seeing someone already, and don't want to start something up right now..

 

[ZackieChan]

.

You answered your own question

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

.

You answered your own question.

Plus most people here don't even know what or where Yard House is.

EDIT: Beaten.

 

[Philippo]

Yeah that's a thing people do. I've done that, but luckily the girl was just as apathetic. Probably wouldn't advise using her like that if you know shes more into it.

So, i just came back from my first time alone with said girl.
Simply took a coffee, but i wasn't really in the mood and also pretty sick these last few days.
I got that she apparently doesn't have a bf, she didn't mention him, and she also autoinvited herself to my home to cook for me one of these days lol
The problem is that she's cute, interesting and funny but i'm simply not into her, i am already feeling guilty becuase i'm seeing her just to forget the girl before...

 

[SneakersSO]

Sneakers has been taking lessons from the master of cryptology, Gooch

In any case, he means relatability. That's a bit of a vague term when it comes to dating, though. What do you really mean? I think a specific example would be more useful being being the cryptoking.

---

Also, seriously, don't worry too much about the bio, guys. Mine was a Nigerian prince email scam. If that worked for me, you can really just write whatever you want. Go nuts! Just don't make it generic/boring/fact-checklist. Spice it up with your personality.

HAHA, I wasn't TRYING to be cryptic. I was just trying to not share too much about her situation. I thought I had shared just enough information to get some advice on the matter, but it wasn't until Miles asked whether she had an STI or not that I realized it was too cryptic to make clear that it was both an STI, which then made me realize I should probably specify which one.

And for anyone looking for an update - I hung out with her again last night. No sex, just some heavy making out. Honestly, I don't think its something i'm gonna be comfortable enough with to put my dick in or go down on, or at least not do so 'freely', so I think I need to start backing off. To her credit, I told her i'm going to need about a week or so to see how comfortable I can be given the situation, and she told me that if a week goes by & I decide I need to back off, that she won't judge me.

This is real tough. Part of me feels guilty af for leaving or wanting to leave. But this idea of the disease just fucks with my head too much. And worst yet, learning more about it, i've definitely come across it in the past & came out unscathed. I should probably go get tested for it.

 

[TeddyBoy]

Once again, another post from me on the subject of this girl in my class.

Well, I had an interest in her after a while. She made some strange gestures towards me during the last semester that kind of alarmed me.

Anyways, today, we end up in the classroom alone again. My instructor was holding a demonstration. The whole class left to watch it, but I stayed to work on my other work. She comes back in and mentions that she has already seen the demo in ceramics last semester. (slight hint of bullshit, we never learned that in ceramics.)

We then start to chat, and she starts asking me tons of questions.

She starts off casual, but she starts to ask about my family, where I'm from, how I ended up back in CA, who I stay with, brothers and sisters, the whole shtick. She then compliments me on how "smart" I am, and basically says that I'm really experienced as a person and that I know the right thing to say. I declined her mentioning of me being smart, but she pressed that that is how she felt about me.

(I barely know who I am, so hearing this about myself is distressing to me quite honestly.)

I mean, I feel like we're really comfortable around each other when there is no one around, but when others are around, I can feel tension around us. She doesn't talk to anyone else in the class the way she speaks to me.

So, do you all think it's appropriate for me to approach her with the idea of spending some time together? I'm just afraid of overstepping. She's definitely not afraid of initiating physical contact.

Go for it. If you like to drink and she also likes a drink, ask if she's up for in a night out. If you're unsure how she feels the alcohol will bring out her true feelings.

Spoiler

This is probably horrendous advice but it's a good way to turn a friend into something more.

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

What are some good "niche" dating sites? OKCupid has the same like 12 people that I have no intention of meeting, POF is full of crazies, and Tinder is a no-go for me.

Any less-known that people have had success with? Preferably UK based?

 

[Llyranor]

.

You answered your own question

 

[Ultima_5]

Ultima, you've known this person since October and the most you've done together is a brunch that you flew 1 1/2 hours for? And you only talk once a week?

C'mon son, that isn't any sort of relationship at all. One of you needs to shit or get off the pot. With her pushing things out until June, I doubt this will ever go anywhere.

What? Not me dude.

As an introvert with low self-esteem, it kind of hurts when people outright ignore my messages, especially considering it took me a while to actually muster up the courage to write them.

Thems the brakes dude. I typically don't put to much into a first message. Just say hey you like this band, have you heard of this band? Or make a joke or something. Don't spend a bunch of time crafting messages cuz if they're interested they'll respond for the most part. If someone doesn't respond, just hide their profile. Out of site out of mind

 

[-COOLIO-]

has anyone here tried resetting their tinder because they got way better pictures of themselves and they wanted to start from scratch? if so, how did it work out for you?

 

[-COOLIO-]

As an introvert with low self-esteem, it kind of hurts when people outright ignore my messages, especially considering it took me a while to actually muster up the courage to write them.

some (most?) women are receiving dozens of messages a day, man. don't take it personally.

 

[Granadier]

has anyone here tried resetting their tinder because they got way better pictures of themselves and they wanted to start from scratch? if so, how did it work out for you?

Not a bad idea to do this every once in awhile, especially if you have new/better pictures.
It's the same pool over again. Sometimes I'll get matches with the same girls, most times I'll get matches with new ones. Haven't had a bad experience with it.

 

[-COOLIO-]

Not a bad idea to do this every once in awhile, especially if you have new/better pictures.
It's the same pool over again. Sometimes I'll get matches with the same girls, most times I'll get matches with new ones. Haven't had a bad experience with it.

sweet, thanks man. i think i'll give it a shot then.

 

[gwailo]

What? Not me dude.

Sorry, it was in reference to jey_16's post.

Sure, I get that. But her profile was rather empty. Most of the sections were just oneliners, except for the "Your favorite food/movies/book" section which was full of things I love too. And as I mentioned in my second post, that TV show isn't particularly popular, so I can't imagine that many guys approach her about that one.
Regarding the length: The message wasn't that long. Not much more than what I mentioned above.

I'm not pissed or mad or anything, I just wish I knew what exactly made her dismiss me just like that, without even replying. Well, not just her, but them, actually: That's the second time this happened.

Salamando already had a sound reply to this, but I will add that you will find a ton of profiles for women that have basically no information on them or things that are so generic that it might as well be nothing (eg "I like to laugh" - um, ok? So do most humans). Furthermore, there were some posts a few pages back that were really spot on in saying that having similar interests/likes means absolutely nothing as to whether you will be actually compatible. For example, if someone likes The Walking Dead, so what? Millions of people do. It says nothing.

Anyway, a lot of women on dating sites have no intention of actually dating anyone (using it as a self esteem boost, seeing what's out there, already in a relationship, doing it for the lulz, etc) so they won't put any effort into their profiles. A pretty (or even not so pretty) profile picture is enough to get responses from guys. So learn to take a nonresponse -- and online dating in general -- not so seriously. Don't waste a ton of time composing the "perfect" message and don't sit around clicking refresh waiting for a response. Send something quick out and move on. If you are thirsty/desperate, it will come across in your profile and messages and the most you will get is internet buddies who will text you for months but still say it's "too soon" to actually meet up.

 

[Llyranor]

I didn't even waste time messaging profiles that had zero effort put into them. Can't be bothered using your personality to sell your profile because guys will flock to your pictures anyway? Pass :/

 

[Bruce Springsteen]

I didn't even waste time messaging profiles that had zero effort put into them. Can't be bothered using your personality to sell your profile because guys will flock to your pictures anyway? Pass :/

My profile description was just "hello", and girls messaged me saying they loved how simple it was. I don't put much stock into profile descriptions

 

[Llyranor]

My profile description was just "hello", and girls messaged me saying they loved how simple it was. I don't put much stock into profile descriptions

On Tinder or a dating site? It doesn't really matter what you put on Tinder.

 

[Bruce Springsteen]

On Tinder or a dating site? It doesn't really matter what you put on Tinder.

Tinder, haven't used anything else

 

[Coda]

I've had some luck messaging girls through Instagram after I see them on Tinder. A lot of the time the chances of them getting to me in the massive pool of guy's is slim so I just cut to the chase and write them on Instagram if they look super cool. It's been hit or miss so far but some definitely write back.

 

[Banjo-Kazooie]

What happen to Jason? Haha


got a second date tomorrow, really hoping it goes well

 

[Granadier]

My profile description was just "hello", and girls messaged me saying they loved how simple it was. I don't put much stock into profile descriptions

Was it followed by, "So bored sitting here on my bed. Add me on kik and we can have some fun. xoxo"?

/s

 

[hal9001]

Guys I need you to be brutally honest with me.

The girl I've been dating for about half a year now is going to go off to College this September. That means at best we will only get to see each other maybe once every 2 weeks for the weekends.

I really like her but I'm having doubts long distance can work. Speaking for myself I know I could do it and remain faithfull but can she be able to in a college environment for up to 3 years? Does long distance ever work out?

 

[Bruce Springsteen]

Was it followed by, "So bored sitting here on my bed. Add me on kik and we can have some fun. xoxo"?

/s

I assume that's a spam reply? No, never happened, I'm usually pretty selective on who I "swipe right on" anyway and avoid the bots

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Guys I need you to be brutally honest with me.

The girl I've been dating for about half a year now is going to go off to College this September. That means at best we will only get to see each other maybe once every 2 weeks for the weekends.

I really like her but I'm having doubts long distance can work. Speaking for myself I know I could do it and remain faithfull but can she be able to in a college environment for up to 3 years? Does long distance ever work out?

Long distance and college?

Enjoy the time you have together now.

 

[Philippo]

Guys I need you to be brutally honest with me.

The girl I've been dating for about half a year now is going to go off to College this September. That means at best we will only get to see each other maybe once every 2 weeks for the weekends.

I really like her but I'm having doubts long distance can work. Speaking for myself I know I could do it and remain faithfull but can she be able to in a college environment for up to 3 years? Does long distance ever work out?

Well once every two weeks is not that bad tbh

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Well once every two weeks is not that bad tbh

Maybe.

 

[Raven117]

Guys I need you to be brutally honest with me.

The girl I've been dating for about half a year now is going to go off to College this September. That means at best we will only get to see each other maybe once every 2 weeks for the weekends.

I really like her but I'm having doubts long distance can work. Speaking for myself I know I could do it and remain faithfull but can she be able to in a college environment for up to 3 years? Does long distance ever work out?

Sorry bro, but this is going to crash. There is a reason there is a running joke about folks staying together when one goes to college. I used to be a "camp counselor" of sorts for incoming freshman and we always made the jokes about the high school gf/bf.

Wont even make it to Thanksgiving.

It will start off fine. Once every two weeks. Probably 2 or 3 times. Then "exams" will hit. And she wont have time. (Even if she does, the social scene is starting to take off). You will see her once or twice after that. Then...poof, it will be over. I mean this in a nice way. That's how it usually goes. So be prepared.

 

[Banjo-Kazooie]

Guys I need you to be brutally honest with me.

The girl I've been dating for about half a year now is going to go off to College this September. That means at best we will only get to see each other maybe once every 2 weeks for the weekends.

I really like her but I'm having doubts long distance can work. Speaking for myself I know I could do it and remain faithfull but can she be able to in a college environment for up to 3 years? Does long distance ever work out?

So what I'm about to tell you is from my experience....it didn't work.

By all means, continue to see her and have fun in the summer, but I think it would really be best for both of you if you went through the "experimental" stages of college where you are allowed to meet new people and have a good time without worrying about what your significant other back home feels. I know it sucks to hear that, and maybe you guys can make it work, but between me and my other friends that tried it, I timhink the longest any of us made with our girlfriends from HS into our college career was like 4 months.

Long distance is tough, and also deprives younger kids of enjoying and taking the most out of their time at school....and, well, growing up.

By all means, you could be an outlier, but I've been there and done that to disappointing results. Still had a wild summer leading up to it though

 

[wanderingprostheyltite]

Sorry bro, but this is going to crash. There is a reason there is a running joke about folks staying together when one goes to college. I used to be a "camp counselor" of sorts for incoming freshman and we always made the jokes about the high school gf/bf.

Wont even make it to Thanksgiving.

It will start off fine. Once every two weeks. Probably 2 or 3 times. Then "exams" will hit. And she wont have time. (Even if she does, the social scene is starting to take off). You will see her once or twice after that. Then...poof, it will be over. I mean this in a nice way. That's how it usually goes. So be prepared.

This. At that age it's just not realistic to keep something together when you're not going to the same place, and even then it's hard af. Happens to a lot of people. My dorm mate was gushing about his gf at another school week one, week three ended in tears. Most don't wait long.

 

[Sami+]

Maybe.

Eh I have a friend who sees his gf every few months (she's in PA and he's in FL) and they've been going strong for years. They're both attractive people too I doubt either of them would be thirsty for long if they broke up.

 

[Royal_Phalanx]

So what I'm about to tell you is from my experience....it didn't work.

By all means, continue to see her and have fun in the summer, but I think it would really be best for both of you if you went through the "experimental" stages of college where you are allowed to meet new people and have a good time without worrying about what your significant other back home feels. I know it sucks to hear that, and maybe you guys can make it work, but between me and my other friends that tried it, I timhink the longest any of us made with our girlfriends from HS into our college career was like 4 months.

Long distance is tough, and also deprives younger kids of enjoying and taking the most out of their time at school....and, well, growing up.

By all means, you could be an outlier, but I've been there and done that to disappointing results. Still had a wild summer leading up to it though

tfw never got laid at college, doesn't look to be changing anytime soon now that i'm out

 

[Granadier]

I assume that's a spam reply? No, never happened, I'm usually pretty selective on who I "swipe right on" anyway and avoid the bots

Yeah, it was a spam reply. They've started including bios now with the bots, but being selective definitely cuts down on the spam.

tfw never got laid at college, doesn't look to be changing anytime soon now that i'm out

Gotta put yourself out there, in whatever way works for you.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Gotta put yourself out there, in whatever way works for you.

Not saying you're wrong, but some of us are just objectively unattractive.

 

[Ultima_5]

Well once every two weeks is not that bad tbh

Yes it is. Break up when it's time for her to leave dude. She's gonna find drinking and friends and new guys and move on

Not saying you're wrong, but some of us are just objectively unattractive.

Im fat and Jewish and have been with more women than Atleast 75% of my attractive and in shape friends. It's easy if you can be confident and have a sense of humor.

People that use their physical apprerance for their main source of confidence suck. And I mean that for both ugly people and super in shape people

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Im fat and Jewish and have been with more women than Atleast 75% of my attractive and in shape friends. It's easy if you can be confident and have a sense of humor.

People that use their physical apprerance for their main source of confidence suck. And I mean that for both ugly people and super in shape people

Not saying physical attractiveness either. Some people are just immediately written off as weird, creepy, awkward, etc and don't get the opportunity to step up to bat.

 

[ZackieChan]

Not saying physical attractiveness either. Some people are just immediately written off as weird, creepy, awkward, etc and don't get the opportunity to step up to bat.

Awareness of a problem is the first step to solving it.

 

[Fuchs]

Guys, I've been texting with this one girl again, who seemed way too busy too meet up bc of work and further education concerning her job.
A few days ago she send me this message asking me how I am doing, etc.
I casually went with it, replied to her and started a light conversation, without any thoughts of trying to meet up with her again. I felt it wasn't worth pursuing, assuming she would flake on me again.
Welp. So, today she invited me for some talking and red wine for tomorrow after work at her place.
I don't know guys, I liked her a ton and I'd really like to see her again, but I've got no idea how it will go. Is this about catching up or more than that? (kinda expect the 2nd, tbh)

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Awareness of a problem is the first step to solving it.

If you're making an inference to me, I've well accepted it. Shit, you can search my post history through these 5 OTs. If I'm being overly negative and need to leave then I will, but I'm just pointing out that some folks can improve themselves (physically, emotionally, professionally etc), can put themselves out there to girls, and can have an otherwise extremely healthy social circle, and still be utter failures when it comes to dating. Regardless of "fake it till you make it," "all you need is confidence," etc. In the face of endless failures in the dating arena, confidence will falter. Of course, I don't judge my entire life and self worth on this subject; but there are some things that are quantifiable. I've examined myself a lot. A lot. I can't figure out what my deficiency is, despite incredible attempts at improvement. One can only logically conclude that I possess, whether I can identify it or not, an objectively unattractive quality about myself.

Again, if this is considered shitting up the thread I'll take an absence. But... just saying.

 

[Ultima_5]

Having a defeatist attitude doesn't help shit dude. If you're aware there's a problem there's things you can work on. People here are helpful. Just put parts of yourself out there and people will tell you what's wrong and how to fix it (that's most of what GAF does anyway).

Do you have a profile? How are you doing in life? Got a career? Goals? Etc