Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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Go for it. If you like to drink and she also likes a drink, ask if she's up for in a night out. If you're unsure how she feels the alcohol will bring out her true feelings.
This is probably horrendous advice but it's a good way to turn a friend into something more.
I'm only 20, but I don't mind a vodka or whiskey. The tipsy or drunk me is the one everyone loves.

Mentioning age, I'm not sure how old she is.

Anyways, I'm going to see how I feel tomorrow. Even though she has been behaving the way she is, I hope I'm not reading anything wrong. I may ask her out, we'll see. I'll be driving to campus, so maybe I'll take her to lunch or something later in the day.
 
Was it followed by, "So bored sitting here on my bed. Add me on kik and we can have some fun. xoxo"?

/s

Or, "My boyfriend has ED and he doesn't mind if I have some fun. Send me an email."

What about: "Hey sexy, I'm all alone here and am about to get evicted. I have some nudes I'm willing to sell..."

/s
 
Or, "My boyfriend has ED and he doesn't mind if I have some fun. Send me an email."

What about: "Hey sexy, I'm all alone here and am about to get evicted. I have some nudes I'm willing to sell..."

/s

"Hey, I'm allowed one phone call from prison. Can I have your number?"
 
Or, "My boyfriend has ED and he doesn't mind if I have some fun. Send me an email."

What about: "Hey sexy, I'm all alone here and am about to get evicted. I have some nudes I'm willing to sell..."

/s

"Hey, I'm allowed one phone call from prison. Can I have your number?"

On the subject of strange messages...

M8pw1Ua.png

This is still my favourite thing I've ever received.
 
Having a defeatist attitude doesn't help shit dude. If you're aware there's a problem there's things you can work on. People here are helpful. Just put parts of yourself out there and people will tell you what's wrong and how to fix it (that's most of what GAF does anyway).

Do you have a profile? How are you doing in life? Got a career? Goals? Etc
Lost 100 lbs over the past five years and am in the best shape of my life.

On a very successful career path in my profession and received 2 promotions within the past year with a leading brand in my industry.

Have a very strong circle of friends.

Dating is literally the one field I have never found success in, and I suspect it's that the strengths that lead me to success in all other fields -- cold logic, perfectionism, and planning -- have no role in dating's success compared to emotion, not giving a fuck and spontaneity. I have a lot of feelers and voices through the grapevine, and "being boring" despite the fact I genuinely enjoy my life is what repulses girls from me.
 
My date gets up at 5:30am every day, so public bowling opening at 9pm is a bit late for her (which worries me given that my schedule fluctuates because I work from home, and I'm often up really late). So, we're not sure of what to do tomorrow night.

I mentioned going to see Deadpool, but she has plans with her family and neighbours to see it in Ultra AVX this weekend.
 
If you're making an inference to me, I've well accepted it. Shit, you can search my post history through these 5 OTs. If I'm being overly negative and need to leave then I will, but I'm just pointing out that some folks can improve themselves (physically, emotionally, professionally etc), can put themselves out there to girls, and can have an otherwise extremely healthy social circle, and still be utter failures when it comes to dating. Regardless of "fake it till you make it," "all you need is confidence," etc. In the face of endless failures in the dating arena, confidence will falter. Of course, I don't judge my entire life and self worth on this subject; but there are some things that are quantifiable. I've examined myself a lot. A lot. I can't figure out what my deficiency is, despite incredible attempts at improvement. One can only logically conclude that I possess, whether I can identify it or not, an objectively unattractive quality about myself.

Again, if this is considered shitting up the thread I'll take an absence. But... just saying.

Nah man, do not leave. Here's the thing, for a lot of us here, we can all attest that there are absolutely objectively bad looking people that get PLENTY of action & find success. I know you're hanging this onto your looks, but the reality is it could be way more than that, or there could be ways to make up for this.

I've had plenty of shortcomings i've had to deal with when it comes to dating, and most of them are all just self-examined nonsense that I made up in my head. I normally wouldn't ask to see a pic, but I cannot imagine that you look that bad that it locks you out of dating entirely. That just seems impossible to me.
 
edit: wrong thread but i guess it's fine to ask it here too. trying to figure out my tinder main pic situation, any thoughts?



IRL reviews have been pretty evenly split.

Going by most online resources, and Aziz Ansari's Modern Romance, it seems like your middle picture would be the most effective. You don't seem to be looking directly at the camera, and you are outside doing some activity.

Honestly, your best bet is to try each picture as your profile picture for a day on Tinder, and compare Match results.
 
My date gets up at 5:30am every day, so public bowling opening at 9pm is a bit late for her (which worries me given that my schedule fluctuates because I work from home, and I'm often up really late). So, we're not sure of what to do tomorrow night.

I mentioned going to see Deadpool, but she has plans with her family and neighbours to see it in Ultra AVX this weekend.

Why not invite her over and cook for her?
 
GAF ASSEMBLE

Ahem. Really cute girl who likes Marvel, DC, Mario Kart... says "You can try beating me at Mario Kart if you like" in her profile

Good first message! Go!

Here you go
Hi! few things to start off with =] 1. yes I added you because you're a female gamer, 'tis an awesome thing to see! 2. I'm Brian. 3. Don't be intimidated, but I'm not a stereotypical guy. If anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen.
 
GAF ASSEMBLE

Ahem. Really cute girl who likes Marvel, DC, Mario Kart... says "You can try beating me at Mario Kart if you like" in her profile

Good first message! Go!

"Winner take all? 😏"

"Double Dash or 8? ☺️"

"Marvel? At least you have good taste in games😉"

"I'll be your iron man you be my peach, if you know what I mean. 🍑🍆"

"How many nerds have commented on your marvel and Mario kart info? I'd prefer to comment on how hot you are. Really hot. Like fire. 💥🔥"

"200 cc, bullshit right? 🏁"

"F-zero tho 😵"

"Bob Hoskins as Mario was the greatest casting of all time. True or false? 😚"

"Do you prefer heavies like DK or lightweights like Toad? Check out my pics before you answer🙏🏻"


One of these should work. Or mix and match

Edit: please never say "'tis"
 
GAF ASSEMBLE

Ahem. Really cute girl who likes Marvel, DC, Mario Kart... says "You can try beating me at Mario Kart if you like" in her profile

Good first message! Go!

every geek on the site is messaging her something relating to her hobbies. You need separate yourself from the herd somehow. Try and get specific in hopes that she'll bite.

my current girlfriend who I met on OKCupid also had a gamer/anime/geeky profile. I mentioned the soundtrack of one of movies she listed and got in that way.
 
GAF ASSEMBLE

Ahem. Really cute girl who likes Marvel, DC, Mario Kart... says "You can try beating me at Mario Kart if you like" in her profile

Good first message! Go!

Tell her you're more of a checkers guy. Cause you know every guy is hella thirsty when a cute girl shows any interest in video games.

To the office dating guy. Dont shit where you eat ever.
 
So dating-GAF, nice girl in my office. I want to make a move. Love in workplace: yay or nay?

We are both 20ish.

There will be people that say "I know x and y who met at work and they're getting married" but generally it is a horrible idea for a number of reasons. Some companies have policies against it also.
 
So dating-GAF, nice girl in my office. I want to make a move. Love in workplace: yay or nay?

We are both 20ish.

Go for it

...just tread lightly. Like, thin ice light. Unless it's soulmate-level feelings, I'd probably agree with the "don't shit where you work" idea; it'll make things super awkward if it doesn't work out.
 
So dating-GAF, nice girl in my office. I want to make a move. Love in workplace: yay or nay?

We are both 20ish.

Yay.

yes last is best, other ones are too srs

I like the last one. The first one is fine too. The middle one is yuck

Going by most online resources, and Aziz Ansari's Modern Romance, it seems like your middle picture would be the most effective. You don't seem to be looking directly at the camera, and you are outside doing some activity.

Honestly, your best bet is to try each picture as your profile picture for a day on Tinder, and compare Match results.

Thanks guys, so it's 2 for the last one and 1 for the middle. Last it is!
 
So dating-GAF, nice girl in my office. I want to make a move. Love in workplace: yay or nay?

We are both 20ish.

Go for it. But if she's not interested don't push it. I found my hot ass girlfriend from work as well and it's been great. We had a shift together she was new and told her some work buddies are going to go to the bar and play billiards. I canceled on her, and ended up trying to make it up to her by inviting her for a coffee date. Ended up working out.

(I purposely canceled on her because i told her to invite a friend. I was interested in her so I canceled and it made it easy to ask her out.
 
I wouldn't say it can't work, but the odds are definitely not in your favor. I have done it once, it worked, but it was also a job I didn't give a shit about, in a field I wasn't planning on staying in (retail).

So if you value your job, and if that is a career job, don't do it.
 
There was an interoffice relationship at my old job and when it broke off shit went off the rails. They refused to talk to each other, people were taking sides, work wasn't being done properly, it ended up going to HR, there was a big meeting and one of them left.

I wouldn't recommend it.
 
So dating-GAF, nice girl in my office. I want to make a move. Love in workplace: yay or nay?

We are both 20ish.

It would be easier if there was already SOME connection in place ya know. Some interaction or natural rapport or flirtiness that you can springboard off of into a coffee date ask. From how it sounds, this would be a completely cold open, which I don't think is ideal.

If you can, try to find some ways to naturally interact with her in the workplace & see what she's like. That's probably your best bet for right now. I highly advise against a full cold open with a coworker; that is just gonna create an awkward working environment.
 
There was an interoffice relationship at my old job and when it broke off shit went off the rails. They refused to talk to each other, people were taking sides, work wasn't being done properly, it ended up going to HR, there was a big meeting and one of them left.

I wouldn't recommend it.

Had a similar situation happen where things went off the rails, but it was because one of the pair was proven to be borderline certifiable. She became a bit of an outcast until she left. It was rough.
 
If it's like, a different department at work or something, i'd say go for it. Someone you can disengage from cleanly if shit goes wrong, but if it's a close worker in your department? Stay far away.
 
There was an interoffice relationship at my old job and when it broke off shit went off the rails. They refused to talk to each other, people were taking sides, work wasn't being done properly, it ended up going to HR, there was a big meeting and one of them left.

I wouldn't recommend it.

It all depends on the proximity with which they work. If they are the same organization but non-overlapping departments, I don't see a problem. When there is a lot of interaction between the departments it gets questionable. When it is in the same office, just don't.
 
If you do go forth it with, keep it a secret. You will become the center of work gossip and everyone will be in your business.

If someone asks, deny until the day you die.
 
Yeah, I hooked up with a staff member at my job, but she also lives in California. Nothing lost, plenty gained.

But I'll never get with anyone in my building unless they are on another floor and department. Though I have thought about it, and have seen affairs transpire between close co-workers, I just don't got the skills to pull that off without looking like a jackass.
 
I matched with this girl on Tinder two weeks ago. We immediately hit of well, she's really pretty but not like the average "hot girl" on tinder. I had a good feeling about this one. Two hours before our first date she texts me that she's tired, and if I wanted to come over to her place instead. We talked for hours and watched a movie, and then had amazing sex, which I'd never done on a first date. Normally I would prefer to take things slower but with this girl it just felt right.

We set a second date for a couple of days later, but two days before she texts me if I'm doing anything because it's Valentine's Day and she's lonely. We meet at my place and things are great again. The next morning we both call in sick to work so we can hang out together all day, which is like the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me. :P

So yeah, things are moving fast, and inexperienced as I am, I'm already starting to develop feelings for her after just a couple of days. She's incredibly adorable, she's funny, we share some traits and interests, and I could see this becoming a relationship.

Now here's the thing. I could tell she had some issues. She is insecure about her body (whereas I think she has a great body), and sometimes she would take things I said in the wrong way and get mad at me, twisting my words, shit like that. My ex-girlfriend had bipolar disorder so I knew the shitstorm I was getting myself into. Although it's nowhere near as bad as my ex-girlfriend.

So yesterday we met again, cooked a nice dinner together, and then we get into another little argument about nothing. And we sit down and really start talking about her issues, my issues, what's she's looking for in a guy, etc. She tells me I'm too nice, and always trying to please her, that I would have to walk on eggshells everytime we're together to not hurt her feelings in some way, and that I can't truly be myself around her. And that she needs a guy who takes charge in the relationship, is more experienced, and someone she can be around all the time because she doesn't like being alone. And at that moment I don't want to admit that's not me. I just want to keep seeing her. I tell her we could at least try for another few weeks.

But now, the day after, I realise she's right. This is gonna end badly one way or another. But I still really want to see her again. I feel like shit over a girl I didn't even know a week ago.
 
I matched with this girl on Tinder two weeks ago. We immediately hit of well, she's really pretty but not like the average "hot girl" on tinder. I had a good feeling about this one. Two hours before our first date she texts me that she's tired, and if I wanted to come over to her place instead. We talked for hours and watched a movie, and then had amazing sex, which I'd never done on a first date. Normally I would prefer to take things slower but with this girl it just felt right.

We set a second date for a couple of days later, but two days before she texts me if I'm doing anything because it's Valentine's Day and she's lonely. We meet at my place and things are great again. The next morning we both call in sick to work so we can hang out together all day, which is like the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me. :P

So yeah, things are moving fast, and inexperienced as I am, I'm already starting to develop feelings for her after just a couple of days. She's incredibly adorable, she's funny, we share some traits and interests, and I could see this becoming a relationship.

Now here's the thing. I could tell she had some issues. She is insecure about her body (whereas I think she has a great body), and sometimes she would take things I said in the wrong way and get mad at me, twisting my words, shit like that. My ex-girlfriend had bipolar disorder so I knew the shitstorm I was getting myself into. Although it's nowhere near as bad as my ex-girlfriend.

So yesterday we met again, cooked a nice dinner together, and then we get into another little argument about nothing. And we sit down and really start talking about her issues, my issues, what's she's looking for in a guy, etc. She tells me I'm too nice, and always trying to please her, that I would have to walk on eggshells everytime we're together to not hurt her feelings in some way, and that I can't truly be myself around her. And that she needs a guy who takes charge in the relationship, is more experienced, and someone she can be around all the time because she doesn't like being alone. And at that moment I don't want to admit that's not me. I just want to keep seeing her. I tell her we could at least try for another few weeks.

But now, the day after, I realise she's right. This is gonna end badly one way or another. But I still really want to see her again. I feel like shit over a girl I didn't even know a week ago.

Hate to tell you this, but get out. May be awesome but a lot of those are red flags
 
I matched with this girl on Tinder two weeks ago. We immediately hit of well, she's really pretty but not like the average "hot girl" on tinder. I had a good feeling about this one. Two hours before our first date she texts me that she's tired, and if I wanted to come over to her place instead. We talked for hours and watched a movie, and then had amazing sex, which I'd never done on a first date. Normally I would prefer to take things slower but with this girl it just felt right.

We set a second date for a couple of days later, but two days before she texts me if I'm doing anything because it's Valentine's Day and she's lonely. We meet at my place and things are great again. The next morning we both call in sick to work so we can hang out together all day, which is like the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me. :P

So yeah, things are moving fast, and inexperienced as I am, I'm already starting to develop feelings for her after just a couple of days. She's incredibly adorable, she's funny, we share some traits and interests, and I could see this becoming a relationship.

Now here's the thing. I could tell she had some issues. She is insecure about her body (whereas I think she has a great body), and sometimes she would take things I said in the wrong way and get mad at me, twisting my words, shit like that. My ex-girlfriend had bipolar disorder so I knew the shitstorm I was getting myself into. Although it's nowhere near as bad as my ex-girlfriend.

So yesterday we met again, cooked a nice dinner together, and then we get into another little argument about nothing. And we sit down and really start talking about her issues, my issues, what's she's looking for in a guy, etc. She tells me I'm too nice, and always trying to please her, that I would have to walk on eggshells everytime we're together to not hurt her feelings in some way, and that I can't truly be myself around her. And that she needs a guy who takes charge in the relationship, is more experienced, and someone she can be around all the time because she doesn't like being alone. And at that moment I don't want to admit that's not me. I just want to keep seeing her. I tell her we could at least try for another few weeks.

But now, the day after, I realise she's right. This is gonna end badly one way or another. But I still really want to see her again. I feel like shit over a girl I didn't even know a week ago.

3 nights together and you're already talking about bullshit like that? BAIL.

If you really were with a girl with bi-polar disorder you'd know what you're getting into and not hesitate to bail on this chick. At least you got some sex. Move on.
 
I matched with this girl on Tinder two weeks ago. We immediately hit of well, she's really pretty but not like the average "hot girl" on tinder. I had a good feeling about this one. Two hours before our first date she texts me that she's tired, and if I wanted to come over to her place instead. We talked for hours and watched a movie, and then had amazing sex, which I'd never done on a first date. Normally I would prefer to take things slower but with this girl it just felt right.

We set a second date for a couple of days later, but two days before she texts me if I'm doing anything because it's Valentine's Day and she's lonely. We meet at my place and things are great again. The next morning we both call in sick to work so we can hang out together all day, which is like the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me. :P

So yeah, things are moving fast, and inexperienced as I am, I'm already starting to develop feelings for her after just a couple of days. She's incredibly adorable, she's funny, we share some traits and interests, and I could see this becoming a relationship.

Now here's the thing. I could tell she had some issues. She is insecure about her body (whereas I think she has a great body), and sometimes she would take things I said in the wrong way and get mad at me, twisting my words, shit like that. My ex-girlfriend had bipolar disorder so I knew the shitstorm I was getting myself into. Although it's nowhere near as bad as my ex-girlfriend.

So yesterday we met again, cooked a nice dinner together, and then we get into another little argument about nothing. And we sit down and really start talking about her issues, my issues, what's she's looking for in a guy, etc. She tells me I'm too nice, and always trying to please her, that I would have to walk on eggshells everytime we're together to not hurt her feelings in some way, and that I can't truly be myself around her. And that she needs a guy who takes charge in the relationship, is more experienced, and someone she can be around all the time because she doesn't like being alone. And at that moment I don't want to admit that's not me. I just want to keep seeing her. I tell her we could at least try for another few weeks.

But now, the day after, I realise she's right. This is gonna end badly one way or another. But I still really want to see her again. I feel like shit over a girl I didn't even know a week ago.

Hate to tell you this, but get out. May be awesome but a lot of those are red flags


Have to agree with Lionheart here, It sucks, but if I were you, I would've bailed already.
 
I matched with this girl on Tinder two weeks ago. We immediately hit of well, she's really pretty but not like the average "hot girl" on tinder. I had a good feeling about this one. Two hours before our first date she texts me that she's tired, and if I wanted to come over to her place instead. We talked for hours and watched a movie, and then had amazing sex, which I'd never done on a first date. Normally I would prefer to take things slower but with this girl it just felt right.

We set a second date for a couple of days later, but two days before she texts me if I'm doing anything because it's Valentine's Day and she's lonely. We meet at my place and things are great again. The next morning we both call in sick to work so we can hang out together all day, which is like the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me. :P

So yeah, things are moving fast, and inexperienced as I am, I'm already starting to develop feelings for her after just a couple of days. She's incredibly adorable, she's funny, we share some traits and interests, and I could see this becoming a relationship.

Now here's the thing. I could tell she had some issues. She is insecure about her body (whereas I think she has a great body), and sometimes she would take things I said in the wrong way and get mad at me, twisting my words, shit like that. My ex-girlfriend had bipolar disorder so I knew the shitstorm I was getting myself into. Although it's nowhere near as bad as my ex-girlfriend.

So yesterday we met again, cooked a nice dinner together, and then we get into another little argument about nothing. And we sit down and really start talking about her issues, my issues, what's she's looking for in a guy, etc. She tells me I'm too nice, and always trying to please her, that I would have to walk on eggshells everytime we're together to not hurt her feelings in some way, and that I can't truly be myself around her. And that she needs a guy who takes charge in the relationship, is more experienced, and someone she can be around all the time because she doesn't like being alone. And at that moment I don't want to admit that's not me. I just want to keep seeing her. I tell her we could at least try for another few weeks.

But now, the day after, I realise she's right. This is gonna end badly one way or another. But I still really want to see her again. I feel like shit over a girl I didn't even know a week ago.

c'mon man.

you're smarter than this.
 
Hate to tell you this, but get out. May be awesome but a lot of those are red flags

3 nights together and you're already talking about bullshit like that? BAIL.

If you really were with a girl with bi-polar disorder you'd know what you're getting into and not hesitate to bail on this chick. At least you got some sex. Move on.

Have to agree with Lionheart here, It sucks, but if I were you, I would've bailed already.

c'mon man.

you're smarter than this.
Hahaha, thanks guys, reading your comments does actually make me feel a bit better. Typing this stuff out also helped me see things more clearly.

It's such a shame, apart from that stuff she's really awesome. C'est la vie, I guess. :(
 
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