Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
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n64coder
Member
whatever
it feels like everyone is in a relationship but me and it's stressing me out. I don't think here is the best place to talk about this.
There are a bunch of people in this thread who are not in a relationship as well as on GAF in general. If you're not comfortable discussing your situation, that's fine and I think we all wish you the best of luck to you to find the best for yourself.
Thanks.
Reave
Member
What's the chemistry like between the two of you? Are you guys playful and fun when you're together? Or, has this been more of a grounded dating experience so far? The reason why I'm asking is because I'm wondering how obvious your hesitance is starting to appear to her.
If you feel anxiety about making the wrong move that could ruin things with this girl, then there's something very important that you need to realize right now. Your inaction is the wrong move that could ruin things with this girl. You're going to make your biggest fears a reality by your own hands, my friend.
At some point, she's going to feel the fact that you're getting in your own head no matter how well you guys have been hitting it off. There's only so many times a guy can refrain from making a move for a kiss before a woman gets confused and discouraged. Whether you're picking up on it or not, she is giving you the invitation to kiss her, and probably has been since the first date.
As I've said to someone else in this thread a while back, kissing doesn't have to be some heavy, ultra ceremonious thing. It's supposed to be easy, exciting and romantic. So, try to find an upbeat and humorous segway you can use to go in for that kiss. Here's the personal example I've used before:
I was on my third or fourth date with a girl who would joke with me about how she'd normally bring pepper spray to the first few dates. So, once we built up a comfort level with one another, I'd playfully put my arms up and say "don't shoot!" when we'd meet -- things like that which she'd get a kick out of. So, after we got to the tail-end of that particular date, we were about to hug and I just kind of stopped and said "so, if I kiss you, do you promise not to pepper spray my face?" with a smirk. In turn, she laughed and playfully said "hmm, I think I can make an exception," and boom... kissed.
So, my advice to you is to find something along those lines between the two of you that you can use to unofficially ask for a kiss without making it awkward. And if you can't think of anything that resembles my example, just lean in and say something outlandish like "so, if I kiss you, you're not going to karate chop me in the throat, are you?" or something hilariously off-the-wall like that with a smirk. Worked every time for me, and I'm sure it'll work for you.
I just want to pop in and say these stories on here make my day every time I look at them! There quite interesting and sometimes humorous!
But I don't have anything interesting for you since my love life has always been dead and i'm picky as hell.
But I guess there is one girl who roams my mind sometimes. I started work Late November and never really felt like I connected with people that well because I act a lot less professional than anyone else there, but they enjoy my quirkiness. Then after the Holiday Period, a new girl joined and she has a habit of annoying me no matter what!
Accusing me of hurting her when I lightly tap her when she says something stupid, Making god-awful puns, trying to get me to drink alcohol when people from work went to the pub after work and generally just saying the most random crap the work place has ever heard!
...yet, annoying, crazy girls seem to be my type it seems and even others at work are seeing that me and her are always arguing and atleast 2 people have asked if I like her, which I can only ever reply with "She's annoying".
Either way, i'm not gonna eat where I shit, so i'm just gonna focus on settling into work and try not to let her distract me!
Good luck to everyone here and hope we all find what we are looking for!
But I don't have anything interesting for you since my love life has always been dead and i'm picky as hell.
But I guess there is one girl who roams my mind sometimes. I started work Late November and never really felt like I connected with people that well because I act a lot less professional than anyone else there, but they enjoy my quirkiness. Then after the Holiday Period, a new girl joined and she has a habit of annoying me no matter what!
Accusing me of hurting her when I lightly tap her when she says something stupid, Making god-awful puns, trying to get me to drink alcohol when people from work went to the pub after work and generally just saying the most random crap the work place has ever heard!
...yet, annoying, crazy girls seem to be my type it seems and even others at work are seeing that me and her are always arguing and atleast 2 people have asked if I like her, which I can only ever reply with "She's annoying".
Either way, i'm not gonna eat where I shit, so i'm just gonna focus on settling into work and try not to let her distract me!
Good luck to everyone here and hope we all find what we are looking for!
User 479360
Banned
Congrats on the sex.
Was it a hot stripper?
Thanks, sir
I have spoken to her about it before, and said I'm shy about making the first move. She basically said, "Shit. I am, too." I ruminated over putting my arm around her, too, and kept looking for an opening to hold her hand, but she had popcorn for a while and was sitting with her arms folded a decent amount -- perhaps because of the scary movie.
You're right, though. If I don't do it soon, I probably will put the wrong thoughts in her head. Our interactions haven't been playful or that physical outside of last night. I'm quite reserved and introverted and she's been a bit like that, too. I suck at reading signs, though.
She was talking about how her ex lived in the city and it was a pain in the ass to drive to. So, I said, "Well, my town is a lot easier to get too and it's a much nicer drive," to which she replied, "Haha. Touche."
Mastermind Vade
Banned
Ok guys I need your advice. So I've been talking to this girl I like for the past 3 days and its clear to me that she has warmed up to me. Because she replies late I am under the assumption that I am boring her... So how do you guys think I should approach this problem? And I would also like her to open up to me. All our past conversations have been small talk really and I really want her to know that I am a person she can trust.
oh and I am 15 turning 16 later this year if that's any help.
oh and I am 15 turning 16 later this year if that's any help.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
is this a first date?
ZackieChan
Member
Sooooo, she didn't have a crush on you? Why did you think that?
Again, is this the same girl that you thought liked you before?
yup, i guess it was all in my mind. should i ever go this library again lol
ZackieChan
Member
What made you think that? Your posts in this thread make me think that you have very little experience talking to or interacting with women. Am I right?
That's not a dig on you. We all have to start somewhere. But I'm curious why you thought someone had a crush on you when they actually don't seem to want to talk to you at all.
And keep going to the library. Who cares?
agreed. but yea i have minimal experience with women. glad thats over
ZackieChan
Member
You didn't answer any of my questions.
eye contact, parking the car near mine, stuff like that. i thought she was trying to talk to me, but its ok whatever.. she probably feels sorry for me or something since i don't talk to anyone in the library.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
people not talking to others in the library is a pretty normal thing
Gotdatmoney
Member
Isn't that the point of a library even? I'm glad I kicked my ass in gear when I was in my last year of school and stayed in my room to study. Getting a spot in itself at the library was fucking guerrilla warfare.
Like I said before, she was being nice because she's in a customer service job. Those "signs" you saw are nothing and the fact that you built them into so much in your head is a little disturbing.
Your 4.0 isn't going to mean shit when you come across as a socially inept creeper in interviews. Put down the books and interact with people once in a while.
Your 4.0 isn't going to mean shit when you come across as a socially inept creeper in interviews. Put down the books and interact with people once in a while.
ZackieChan
Member
Those are not signs that someone has a crush on you. I'm sure you've figured that out by now.
Harsh but true.
i interact with 100 - 150 people at my customer service job
Do you have a crush on everyone you make eye contact with?
uh no.
ZackieChan
Member
Well then. Lesson learned?
i interact with 100 - 150 people at my customer service job
Interacting with people at a job is 1000% different than interacting with people in a casual environment. So honestly it doesn't matter how many people you talk to at your job day to day. If you aren't "hanging out" with people then your social skills will not improve.
n64coder
Member
I found this to be a bit odd. Never heard of asking someone if you could chat with them for a minute unless it's someone you know well. I would have just waited for an appropriate moment with her and just have a few words of normal conversation. If she showed interest, then you continue the conversation a bit more.
Texting isn't for opening up. It's an inherently impersonal communication medium. If you want a girl to open up, take her on a date. Having it limited to small talk, flirty messages, and setting up dates is normal (and some here would argue ideal). By small talk, make it interesting small talk, not "Wow, it's hot today, isn't it?".
Text reply times are an easily overthunk aspect of modern dating. We've had pages and pages on it here. Her waiting long too reply could mean anything from "she's playing games" to "she leads a busy life and isn't glued to her phone". Best way to deal with it is to have a fulfilling life of your own...one where you aren't waiting for texts, and you text her at your convenience. If you're free and she texts you, sure, text her back.
Man, not as an insult, I feel kind of bad.
She's probably not even thinking about what you said. It is problematic when thoughts like yours accumulate. Give yourself peace of mind when it comes to her.
I mean, I don't have too much relationship experience ( flings, drunken playing around, etc.), but it seems like you over-analyzed everything that she was doing.
Eye contact with a smile, sure, that could be a small sign, but even that is probably just her being nice. Parking her car next to yours at work, that's something I wouldn't even make much thought of.
Next time, just think about what people do everyday in their lives. What she was doing just seemed like everyday activity (making eye contact with people, parking her car, going to the library. I mean, unless I'm missing something, it seems like you two didn't have much contact at all. You mentioned her having a big crush on you, but what I've been reading, I don't see any of that.
Guess i am not really good at reading women at all. Anyway i actually feel relived. Time to focus on java and java script
Just give it time. Don't feel bad about it, but just try to slow down when reading what women do.
I ended up doing that and I've been pretty well off, but I feel like I've been moving a bit too cautious with women. There is a balance.
Ex: The girl I've mentioned a page or two back. She's constantly hinting at me, but I've been moving too slow. I don't want her to lose interest.
stn
Member
This over-analysis of shit is just a waste of energy. Just assume that the girl likes you and disregard her day-to-day actions. Then, use that assumption to ask her out. Once you receive your answer you will know where you truly stand. Analyzing other crap just makes one miserable.
I understand why you're trying to blow this off as not a big deal, but I truly hope your listening to the advice being given here.
What? Those aren't two sides of a coin.
JStein0222
Member
Just got home from a date I had been thinking about all day--totally spinning out right now because it just didn't go great and I don't think she's into it.
First date since my 2 year relationship ended, I hate feeling like this, totally anxious
First date since my 2 year relationship ended, I hate feeling like this, totally anxious
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
Try not to overthink it (bludgeoning a horse with that one in this thread I know), it's only one date. Plenty of other potential dates out there too, will get easier the more you get into the swing of regular dating.
You're missing the more important part.
Debating for days/weeks over whether this sign or that sign is an indication of interest is a bigger waste of time. Ask her out, solve the problem.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Would you like to tell me what that is?
...I quoted it in the post you just replied to. The "use that assumption to ask her out. Once you receive your answer you will know where you truly stand." part.
If the question is "does a girl like me?" asking her out finds the answer in 20 seconds. Far more efficient than spending days or weeks analyzing her parking habits and eye contact.
J
Jpop
Unconfirmed Member
I met a girl on Tinder we hung out a day after we matched had a great time. We're gonna see a movie Monday and hang out a bit more.
Thought it was a fake profile as she had no bio and only one picture, glad I was wrong. She's fun, pretty and we get along great.
Thought it was a fake profile as she had no bio and only one picture, glad I was wrong. She's fun, pretty and we get along great.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Attention seekers are literally the worst, the ones who keep you hanging with promises of meeting are even worse.
Don't ever fall into that trap people. Ask for a date. If it doesn't happen without a week of connecting with said person, it's time to move on and not keep giving that person the attention they crave.
Dr Duncan Steel
Member
Got given a business card from a girl at a bar and told me her cell phone number on the card is hers (obviously). I was psyched but she left with some other dude and from my perspective didn't look too happy about leaving. I should just forget about it right? Right? I'm doing the right thing by not doing anything about this right?
she cute tho
Miles Quaritch
Member
Call her. What's the worst that can happen?
ZackieChan
Member
Just met a girl in a bar in Mexico. A dude I met earlier (known as "pussy doctor") introduced us. Hit it off a bit, though my Spanish is awful. Asked for her number and she gave it to me. There's really nothing more to it. If she likes you she'll give you the digits.
Didn't hurt that I was drunk as hell on Mezcal (and still am).
Didn't hurt that I was drunk as hell on Mezcal (and still am).
Tha Robbertster
Member
Bleh, need to vent a little.
A few weeks ago, I ran into a girl I knew from the introduction week at my uni. She was in my group for that week, and a nice week, nothing special and I didn't see her for a while after that. That brings me to a few weeks ago. I saw her again at a uni party, and we started talking. At the end of the night, we made out and she told me to text her the next morning.
So we start texting over the week, and I ask her out. We set a date, and we had coffee last week. I had a really fun time, and I thought she enjoyed herself as well. Afterwards, we kissed (awkwardly, who knew kissing people while not drunk is that weird?). That evening, I texted her that I had a really good time, and that we should meet up again next week, to which she agreed. I tried to set up a date for the date, and after that, alarm bells started to go of for me
She took almost a day to reply, and when she did, she said she was very busy so that she'd have to look at her agenda, and that she would tell me next day (Friday) when she would have time. So Friday goes by, no response. No biggy I thought, maybe she's really busy. Saturday, no response either. So now I'm getting a bit nervous. Surely if she really wanted to meet up, she would've gotten back in touch by now? Well today, I decided to ask her if she had had some time to find a suitable day, to which she replies that she is really, really busy, and that she isn't really looking for something right now.
I'm kinda disappointed by this turn as I did like this girl and I thought things were going pretty well. I think the thing that gets me the most is the 180 on the whole second date.
Oh well, at least I have a good excuse to get really drunk this week.
A few weeks ago, I ran into a girl I knew from the introduction week at my uni. She was in my group for that week, and a nice week, nothing special and I didn't see her for a while after that. That brings me to a few weeks ago. I saw her again at a uni party, and we started talking. At the end of the night, we made out and she told me to text her the next morning.
So we start texting over the week, and I ask her out. We set a date, and we had coffee last week. I had a really fun time, and I thought she enjoyed herself as well. Afterwards, we kissed (awkwardly, who knew kissing people while not drunk is that weird?). That evening, I texted her that I had a really good time, and that we should meet up again next week, to which she agreed. I tried to set up a date for the date, and after that, alarm bells started to go of for me
She took almost a day to reply, and when she did, she said she was very busy so that she'd have to look at her agenda, and that she would tell me next day (Friday) when she would have time. So Friday goes by, no response. No biggy I thought, maybe she's really busy. Saturday, no response either. So now I'm getting a bit nervous. Surely if she really wanted to meet up, she would've gotten back in touch by now? Well today, I decided to ask her if she had had some time to find a suitable day, to which she replies that she is really, really busy, and that she isn't really looking for something right now.
I'm kinda disappointed by this turn as I did like this girl and I thought things were going pretty well. I think the thing that gets me the most is the 180 on the whole second date.
Oh well, at least I have a good excuse to get really drunk this week.
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