Always-honest
Banned
Bwaha, this thread is amazing.
What are some of the weirdest things you've done or had happen to you during sex?
- Thread starter Exodust
- Start date
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Sadly, my entries of Brasil Quest and Thief (she was married) were kinda vanilla.
ScottSullivan
Member
My wife was going down on me one night, after having eaten a burrito with jalapenos in it... Lets just say that was not the most comfortable bj ever...
BURNING SPIRIT
Banned
Was hitting it With the girl bent over the toilet in a restroom at some lame crystal cave place, when a 10 year old-ish child opened the doors and locked eyes with me...all that could come out my mouth was "sorry kid" and I never stopped thrusting...finished up real quick and got outta there.
Got head on a bus stop bench...
Love to the eat ass even on a sloppy slump buster, turned out to be a mistake once as I got a clump of something off my toungue,that felt like wet Kitty litter. Spat it Out and kept the show going. Im so fucking gross.
Got head on a bus stop bench...
Love to the eat ass even on a sloppy slump buster, turned out to be a mistake once as I got a clump of something off my toungue,that felt like wet Kitty litter. Spat it Out and kept the show going. Im so fucking gross.
CapitalismSucks DonkeyBalls
Banned
Had sex, "accidentally" came inside her, had to hijack my roommate's car to drive to Walgreens at 2 in the fucking morning to buy Plan B. Chain smoked in the parking lot thinking about how I had maybe just fucked my life up.
Got a handjob when I was a teen in the back of my dad's car. Told her not to stop while I got my nut. She was about 30 seconds away from licking it up before I found napkins in the glovebox.
Had a trashy girl in high school tell me she didn't care if she got pregnant, so long as I fucked her bareback. Broke up with her a few days later.
Almost every time I make love with my wife, I have to have a staring contest with one of my cats who sits on the pillow and watches. Fucking perv.
Got a handjob when I was a teen in the back of my dad's car. Told her not to stop while I got my nut. She was about 30 seconds away from licking it up before I found napkins in the glovebox.
Had a trashy girl in high school tell me she didn't care if she got pregnant, so long as I fucked her bareback. Broke up with her a few days later.
Almost every time I make love with my wife, I have to have a staring contest with one of my cats who sits on the pillow and watches. Fucking perv.
Omegasquash
Member
Her passion for you was burning.
Palculator
Unconfirmed Member
This post is amazing.
I like you, you sound fun.
echoshifting
Banned
Once had sex three times and ended up more relaxed and filled with pleasure than I had ever been in my life. So relaxed, in fact, that after the third time (while I was still inside her) I suddenly found myself unable to stop farting. They just kept coming and coming, there was no end to the farts. Felt like five straight minutes of farts. Fortunately my partner was very understanding or it probably would have been a traumatizing experience.
I married that girl.
I married that girl.
OniBarubary
Banned
I feel like part of the social contract of wanting to do butt stuff is the understanding that a butt is generally where poop is kept and so all the reactions where people are disgusted or surprised to find poop there are amusing or confusing like "...we'll it's a butt. You'll find shit hangs out there on occasion."
I did literally fuck the shit out of an ex once. Some sort of universal planetary alignment must've happened because she came so hard she just lost muscle control and kinda let go. She hid her face on my bed for like a day, embarrassed beyond all belief, and I told her it was fine and just nonchalantly cleaned it up like "Whatever, don't care" She got mortified whenever I even vaguely referenced it. Never happened again in 2 years.
I did literally fuck the shit out of an ex once. Some sort of universal planetary alignment must've happened because she came so hard she just lost muscle control and kinda let go. She hid her face on my bed for like a day, embarrassed beyond all belief, and I told her it was fine and just nonchalantly cleaned it up like "Whatever, don't care" She got mortified whenever I even vaguely referenced it. Never happened again in 2 years.
Palculator
Unconfirmed Member
Did you check if you are not in fact her blow up doll?
echoshifting
Banned
This would explain a lot of things
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
You are all disgusting. How do you live with yourselves?
I enjoyed this, thanks for sharing.The day after my 22nd birthday I felt pretty damn shit. I had a terrible year behind me, lots of people in my life that were with me for years had left me and I was still chasing after a girl I had romantic feelings for but who never wanted anything to do with me. I also hadn't had sex for 2 years at that point.
So I went out into the city, had a few drinks (but didn't get drunk) and headed into the red light district. I wasn't really 100% sure about sleeping with a prostitute but I at least wanted to look around. So I walk past the windows, the prostitutes start trying to get me to join them and I say "fuck it,why not" and go into the window of a beautiful black lady.
We talk business and get down to it and as we just start, she says "let me put my legs up on your shoulders baby" and just like, pulls them up. I wasn't prepared for that and my arm is in the way of her leg,she tries to move around it quickly and BAM hits me in the side of my head with her high heels.
I'm all "wtf happened?" and she just becomes SO worried and concerned all "omg i am so sorry oh god are you ok omg i am sorry really!" and tries to like, check out my head if she hurt me or something. to do that she pulls away from me and wants to sit up and as she does I move forward and she basically knees me in my erection.
I get the wind taken out of me and just fall over grabbing my junk as she now becomes almost panicked and tries to help me,comfort me,say she is sorry all at the same time.
Needless to say, ther was no more sexy times then. Instead she made us both drinks, kept asking if I was ok and then we talked for like an hour and she listened to my troubles (which in retrospect were barely worth mentioning). She even wanted to give me my money back, but I said she should keep it, she earned it for being my shrink that night (and I joked she'd beat me up again if I took it). She sent me on my way with a kiss and told me to keep my head up and funnily enough that encounter changed my gloomy outlook overnight and things started going well from then on out.
This one is weirdest for me. Why did you talk to your sister about having her shit-smeared ass eaten? Why?
Palculator
Unconfirmed Member
A day at a time.
Contently.
Alex Stroud
Banned
It's a remarkable thing, being consenting and curious adults.
OniBarubary
Banned
I'm actually a ghost.
POWERSPHERE
Member
She laid in her shit covering her face for a day?
Mr. Poolman
Member
Where is the Gaffer who constantly fucked his sister?
Wait, what? Lol.
OniBarubary
Banned
Probably should've been clearer; I was standing and she was on the edge of the bed so she just kinda shat on the floor by my bed.
i once tied up my ex-girlfriend, she was on her period and had forgotten to take out her tampon, so i removed and threw away her tampon, proceeded to fuck her and get menstrual blood all over my dick and my hands, then untied her and went to sleep without cleaning up because i wanted the blood to dry so i could wake up covered in it
Elitist1945
Member
At OP.
Puck Beaverton
Banned
The fuck?
BFIB
Member
I had a pretty dry run about 10 years ago, so my desperate meter was climbing higher and higher (it had been about six months). Went to the bar, and through an evening of double Captain and Coke, this girl I had chatted w/ a few times before in casual conversation started looking better and better. She was a little on the thick side. I take that back, she was a lot on the thick side.
So she ends up coming back to my apartment and we start the fun time. I'd never been with a girl this size, so I'm trying to do my normal moves. She starts getting a little forceful, and tells me she "wants to 69". So she sits on my face, I start doing my thing, but she isn't doing hers. So I don't mind, I'm just going along, then she leans back, and I can't breathe. I end up passing out, last I remember was pretty much slapping her thigh as hard I could try, but couldn't get a lot of movement due to her size.
She throws cold water on me, I wake up, and she says I'm "terrible at this" and leaves.
So she ends up coming back to my apartment and we start the fun time. I'd never been with a girl this size, so I'm trying to do my normal moves. She starts getting a little forceful, and tells me she "wants to 69". So she sits on my face, I start doing my thing, but she isn't doing hers. So I don't mind, I'm just going along, then she leans back, and I can't breathe. I end up passing out, last I remember was pretty much slapping her thigh as hard I could try, but couldn't get a lot of movement due to her size.
She throws cold water on me, I wake up, and she says I'm "terrible at this" and leaves.
damien1928
Banned
Calling bullshit on some of these horror stories
Stop.
(that's my fetish). also it was neither the first nor the last time
Well this is a weird thread. I got a finger in the bum a few times, fingered a girl after a creampie and then did it again a few minutes later. That was fun and messy.
At least she didn't say Hermano, unless you're into that sort of thing.
At least she didn't say Hermano, unless you're into that sort of thing.
Went with a girl who only ever wanted me to finish in her hair. It was like a compulsion with her. The first time she mentioned it was a genuine what the fuck moment, then I spend the rest of the act wondering what exactly she meant by it. I mean did she want on the crown of her head, the back of her head, down the sides?
The scariest thing was going back to a girls house after a drunken hook up at a club, going into the bathroom realising that I didn't have a condom in my wallet, walking back in to find her completely naked on the bed, and when I told her about the condom her words in a scottish ned voice were "I don't care. Just throw it up me, big man. I'm pure mental." Instantly sober, and straight out the door.
The scariest thing was going back to a girls house after a drunken hook up at a club, going into the bathroom realising that I didn't have a condom in my wallet, walking back in to find her completely naked on the bed, and when I told her about the condom her words in a scottish ned voice were "I don't care. Just throw it up me, big man. I'm pure mental." Instantly sober, and straight out the door.
BUNTING1243
Banned
Don't think anyone will beat you buddy
I had a girl in doggy on the wooden floor of my friends' fraternity house when we were both drunk. I had seen this move in a porno where the guy grabs both of the girl's wrists behind her back and kind of suspension-fucks her, so I thought I'd try it. Worked pretty well and felt damned good because I had added leverage and she was really leaning down and hanging there. Drunken Me decides to switch up and put my hands on her hips. Unfortunately, I didn't tell her and she faceplanted on the wood. She yells "WHAT THE FUCK??!!" and donkey kicks me in the chest, knocking me over and hyperextending my knee. She turns on the light and her nose is covered in blood. She put her hand up to it, saw the blood that came off onto her fingers, and kicked me several times while I was floundering on the ground in my own pain.
Never tried that move again.
Never tried that move again.
Shmeagatory94
Member
I remember me and a girl were making out in my living room on my couch. Well my dog just JUMPS onto the couch and literally just sits there, looking at us. We were like wtf?!
So we ran into my room and closed the door. Sure enough, this hoe runs to my room and claws at the door but gave up after a few minutes. Shit was weird.
So we ran into my room and closed the door. Sure enough, this hoe runs to my room and claws at the door but gave up after a few minutes. Shit was weird.
BKatastrophe
Member
You say that, until they say it in Spanish
As someone with epilepsy, having a seizure during sex is a very real fear for me. Especially since despite having very few seizures, all of them were grand mal.
Did he untie her?
Incest is bestcest
It's vile but I'm curious about this tale
JinjoUnchained
Member
What the heck, I'll chime in...
GF requested anal, we did it several times that weekend with no problem. Next time she requested, it was going fine as normal, but the she suddenly stopped, grew faint, and then ran outside to throw up. She was fine after that, but never requested anal again.
I still don't understand what happened.
GF requested anal, we did it several times that weekend with no problem. Next time she requested, it was going fine as normal, but the she suddenly stopped, grew faint, and then ran outside to throw up. She was fine after that, but never requested anal again.
I still don't understand what happened.
zswordsman
Member
Man, you guys are crazy and fucked up XD
Anyways, nothing major. Got a Bj in the living room while her sister was in the other room supposedly keeping tab on us. We just turned up he tv volume for a bit. Teenage years
Anyways, nothing major. Got a Bj in the living room while her sister was in the other room supposedly keeping tab on us. We just turned up he tv volume for a bit. Teenage years
Schrade
Member
Frustrated_Grunt
Member
This one got me. I should try that.
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