Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
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ZackieChan
Member
Eh. Pretty much all of my opening messages are literally just "heyyou look cute in those pictures" and I have noticed zero difference in response rate.
The real work is done with how good you look in your photos imo, if she likes that it doesnt really matter much.
ftfy
So looking for some advice on how to handle a situation I have.
There's a girl that I like a lot, and I work with also (I know, bad idea) and her and my friends are all good friends. This girl is quite a flirty girl, flirting with most guys so it's always kinda hard to get a judge on her and in the past when I've asked her out, she said no.
That's cool and all and i accepted that but like I said, I like this girl a lot. It just so happens that I'm applying for new jobs anyway so I've been planning to kind of cut contact with her anyway to make it a bit easier for myself.
Fast forward to about four weeks ago and I decided to go out clubbing with my sister, her best friend that I'm really good friends with and me. Naturally it was a disaster, I got really drunk and made a massive idiot of myself. I'm quite a jealous guy by nature and so seeing her being flirty with everyone in the club while also way to drunk ended in me being a bit of an asshole.
The girls were ok with it and didn't say nothing about it but now I find myself in a similar situation again. Her best friend that I'm also close with as a friend is leaving the country and wants me to come clubbing with her, her best friend and another guy and I don't know what to do. I want to go because this is a good friend of mine but at the same time I don't trust myself. Even if I don't drink a lot I'm still sure I'll probably find myself being an idiot again.
There's a girl that I like a lot, and I work with also (I know, bad idea) and her and my friends are all good friends. This girl is quite a flirty girl, flirting with most guys so it's always kinda hard to get a judge on her and in the past when I've asked her out, she said no.
That's cool and all and i accepted that but like I said, I like this girl a lot. It just so happens that I'm applying for new jobs anyway so I've been planning to kind of cut contact with her anyway to make it a bit easier for myself.
Fast forward to about four weeks ago and I decided to go out clubbing with my sister, her best friend that I'm really good friends with and me. Naturally it was a disaster, I got really drunk and made a massive idiot of myself. I'm quite a jealous guy by nature and so seeing her being flirty with everyone in the club while also way to drunk ended in me being a bit of an asshole.
The girls were ok with it and didn't say nothing about it but now I find myself in a similar situation again. Her best friend that I'm also close with as a friend is leaving the country and wants me to come clubbing with her, her best friend and another guy and I don't know what to do. I want to go because this is a good friend of mine but at the same time I don't trust myself. Even if I don't drink a lot I'm still sure I'll probably find myself being an idiot again.
stn
Member
Its true though. A guy who looks good can get away with a lot. Granted, one should still avoid the "hey/hi/how r u" line of messaging because its just boring and lame.
-COOLIO-
The Everyman
Eh. Pretty much all of my opening messages are literally just "hey
The real work is done with your profile imo, if she likes that it doesnt really matter much.
pretty much. tailored messages are nice if you reaaaaaally like the girl for that extra 5% chance at a response, but at the end of the day, if theyre in the mood to check out profiles they'll check yours out regardless of the message content, and if you're hot enough to them, they'll reply.
and if you check out bumble, most women open with just "hey" too.
edit: oh, but for tinder, tailored messages are totally worth it. for dating sites, not so much.
ZackieChan
Member
Good idea
Royal_Phalanx
Member
So I found out Tinder used a picture of me when I was playing airsoft (it was on my Facebook). So girls have probably seen pictures of me holding a replica AK-47 for 2 months now...
ZackieChan
Member
You are aware that you can edit your profile, right?
PflargBlarg
Member
As a Vancouver man for my entire life, I would like to point out that I have never even seen cocaine. All I got was that some friends of mine had to throw people out of their party because they were doing coke in the bathroom.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Yeah, I just did, I didn't notice that it pulled 5 random pictures from Facebook. Deleted those from my profile page.
EDIT: Also found a 18 year old girl on OkCupid whose profile only consisted of "I like humiliating guys with small dicks and having sex with guys who have big ones (9+ inches), don't message me otherwise", what a great human, don't know if troll
Not a troll, just a girl looking for guys willing to pay her to humiliate them. It's their fetish, don't try to understand it. If you're on OKC/Tinder long enough, you'll find all kinds of "professional" girls. Camgirls, dominatrices, escorts, phone sex operators, and a few looking to escape their country.
I'm at a loss as to how to use a tailored message for tinder though, considering how short/nonexistent most profiles are. That's why I just say "hey" there, though maybe a more tailored response would work on other dating sites...then again, I'm meeting someone today from a "regular" dating site who I used this exact approach on
Personally I'm a big fan of keeping things simple and screening for girls who are already highly interested (based either on my photos or profile) anyway - and this has worked perfectly well for me so far.
ZackieChan
Member
I let my beautiful face do the talking.
Rhys Wilde
Banned
-snip-
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Wow, Tinder is brutal for guys lol. Many swipes, no matches. I need some advice on how to take better pictures, this is the one I use currently: http://imgur.com/tAsIrih
ZackieChan
Member
Making weird face. Not doing anything interesting. Not happy.
Change all those things. Smile. If you think you look weird smiling, it's fine. Everyone feels that way!
My profile pic is the first image on my Tinder profile and I get likes. It's also my okc profile pic.
On other news, I think I'm bored of dating again. Went out with a Tinder date today and I felt so 'blah'.
I feel so apathetic about online dating. I can't remember the last time I actually liked any girl I met online for more than a month or so. Nowadays, a month is a long time.
My mind has created a pretty awful flowchart for dates now. I basically figure out if she's interested in me. If she is, I'll meet her. If I meet her, I then decide if something about her sticks out to me.
If her personality interests me (and doesn't scare me off), I'll most likely be actually engaged.
If she's attractive, I determine how badly I want to sleep with her which is determined if she's actually interested into me.
And TBH I dunno if I like thinking like this. I'm not meeting anyone I'm interested in at all and I'm kinda tired of having sex with ppl I'm not completely attracted to.
I dunno what I'm looking for, and I feel like the more I post in this thread, the more I look like an asshole when I'm trying not to be. This stinks and is frustrating.
On other news, I think I'm bored of dating again. Went out with a Tinder date today and I felt so 'blah'.
I feel so apathetic about online dating. I can't remember the last time I actually liked any girl I met online for more than a month or so. Nowadays, a month is a long time.
My mind has created a pretty awful flowchart for dates now. I basically figure out if she's interested in me. If she is, I'll meet her. If I meet her, I then decide if something about her sticks out to me.
If her personality interests me (and doesn't scare me off), I'll most likely be actually engaged.
If she's attractive, I determine how badly I want to sleep with her which is determined if she's actually interested into me.
And TBH I dunno if I like thinking like this. I'm not meeting anyone I'm interested in at all and I'm kinda tired of having sex with ppl I'm not completely attracted to.
I dunno what I'm looking for, and I feel like the more I post in this thread, the more I look like an asshole when I'm trying not to be. This stinks and is frustrating.
ZackieChan
Member
Then just meet people IRL that you're "completely attracted to"?
I've been thinking about it. As I go out, I'm starting to find myself more talkative so perhaps.
Also yeah I guess it is silly to assume I'll ever be completely attracted to someone. I think a better way to put it is to say "I want to be more than barely attracted to someone."
ZackieChan
Member
Either your standards are ridiculously high or you're going to the wrong places. Maybe it's time to move to a new city or something?
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Thanks for the advice, was wondering if it was things like that which are possible to change, or whether my face is really unattractive (which I unfortunately can't change), or a combination of both. I still don't know the answer to the second thing though. Main problem right now is actually building an interesting life, I'm having a hard time meeting like-minded people I actually click with. I've tried, but life always seems to knock me back.
ZackieChan
Member
No, you look fine. Just look like you're not having an awful time in the photo. Take a ton of them and pick the best!
Messofanego
Banned
Your face is fine. You could stand to learn a lot about photography though. For starters, try natural, indirect light, and utilize theRule of Thirds. If you can get a clear jawline, that'll improve the pics lots as well (Lighting and camera/face angles help a lot here)
Did it work? Kidding, I imagine most people on this forum would be more easily lured with pizza and Mario Kart.
Sounds right out of Creepy Text Theatre. Deny the person, see if he blows up
I didn't reply lol. Just like...why would anyone reply to that. "I wouldn't date you, but I'll fuck you or something."
Go fuck yourself if that's all you want, you know?
Lol. Nothing any dude says would lure me at this point.
No soap radio?
ZackieChan
Member
Got ghosted before the 2nd date I had planned tonight. We had a good time the other night, so I don't get it.
I'm truly one of you now.
I'm going out to a jazz bar to have some drinks and listen to some good music. I ain't letting her keep me from having a good time
I'm truly one of you now.
I'm going out to a jazz bar to have some drinks and listen to some good music. I ain't letting her keep me from having a good time
Did you try sending her overbearing texts?
If she likes you, a slightly awkward kiss is not going to be a big deal. Don't apologize for it. You did nothing that warrants an apology. Just make up for it and give a good confident kiss next time.
Alright gaf, I've got to vent about my story. I was with my ex fiance for 6 years, met when I was 27. We got engaged, had 2 kids back to back, and after the second kid she pretty much told me that she couldn't continue in our relationship. We seperated a year ago. Over the last year we "tried",but a month ago she told me that she still felt the same way she did a year ago. When I say we tried, I mean that I gave my all and she gave it 50%. Everytime I felt like we made progress, she'd push me away again. I finally came to the conclusion that I couldn't save it by myself.
So, now I'm a weekend warrior dad, 33 years old and have really no idea how to date anymore. I'm honestly not sure if I'm ready to put myself back out there yet, because I'm faithful as fuck and I know that would mean that I'm truly done and giving up on the idea of having a complete family. Fucking sucks and never thought it would happen to me.
My question is what do people like me in their 30's do? I work full time, I'm a home owner, I have a gym in the basement that I use 5 days a week. I uninstalled Facebook from my phone. I still find myself longing to hear from her at our usual talking times. I just know that I'm a legitimately good dude and have a lot to offer, I just don't even know where to begin.
I've heard of tender, I'm just not really the hook up type. I'm also in therapy for anxiety issues (which was a big dinger for my relationship failure). Any advise from some of you older guys/gals would be greatly appreciated.
So, now I'm a weekend warrior dad, 33 years old and have really no idea how to date anymore. I'm honestly not sure if I'm ready to put myself back out there yet, because I'm faithful as fuck and I know that would mean that I'm truly done and giving up on the idea of having a complete family. Fucking sucks and never thought it would happen to me.
My question is what do people like me in their 30's do? I work full time, I'm a home owner, I have a gym in the basement that I use 5 days a week. I uninstalled Facebook from my phone. I still find myself longing to hear from her at our usual talking times. I just know that I'm a legitimately good dude and have a lot to offer, I just don't even know where to begin.
I've heard of tender, I'm just not really the hook up type. I'm also in therapy for anxiety issues (which was a big dinger for my relationship failure). Any advise from some of you older guys/gals would be greatly appreciated.
If you're in your 30's and well-established in life, you're in a pretty good place when it comes to dating. Girls in their 30's have a narrower pool of good available guys, so you will stand out as a good catch. If you go for girls in their 20's, you have a good advantage over guys of their age group in terms life experience and being established.
Thanks for the quick reply. Honestly it gives me the shits to think about dating again. I thought I found the "one", but she didn't feel the same. The idea of other women both excite me on a sexual level and also makes me pretty damn sad because I truly loved this girl. I think I should probably just shut up and find peace within myself before I commit to moving on.
I've had issues where I felt like I had to be in a relationship to feel happy. I feel like I'm just now finding my place in life to where I can feel happy and content even if I'm alone. I just feel that clock ticking on getting older and I want to share my prime with someone (feels like the tail end of my prime to be honest).
EchoChamber
Member
So GAF I had my first date and I didn't feel anything for the girl I was dating I didn't feel the spark,that spark you feel you want to hang out with someone but also you want to Fuck kind of spark, but I think this girl likes me because she send me texts all the time but I don't feel the same, I need help fellow gaffers, what should I do ?
Edit:sorry for the English if is broken.
Edit:sorry for the English if is broken.
http://imgur.com/P4yEDCz/[img]
I hope the link worked. Feeling my age when trying to post pics on Gaf. Looking for critiques please. Honestly I have a pretty low self esteem after being rejected for the last year by my ex fiance. I just recently started doing my hair and I'm not sure what to do with it. Previously I totally rocked a hat to the back so I'm viewing this time to grow up my look some.
Edit: link doesn't seem to work what do I do?
I hope the link worked. Feeling my age when trying to post pics on Gaf. Looking for critiques please. Honestly I have a pretty low self esteem after being rejected for the last year by my ex fiance. I just recently started doing my hair and I'm not sure what to do with it. Previously I totally rocked a hat to the back so I'm viewing this time to grow up my look some.
Edit: link doesn't seem to work what do I do?
EchoChamber
Member
You didn't close the /img
I hope the link worked. Feeling my age when trying to post pics on Gaf. Looking for critiques please. Honestly I have a pretty low self esteem after being rejected for the last year by my ex fiance. I just recently started doing my hair and I'm not sure what to do with it. Previously I totally rocked a hat to the back so I'm viewing this time to grow up my look some.
Edit: link doesn't seem to work what do I do?
Edit
h is brokenYou didn't close the /img
Edit
I don't even know what that means! Damn youngins and their technology!
Do you love yourself man? Not trying to be insulting but you come off like you've got some deep-rooted stuff to work out internally.
Figure some of that out and I think your view might shift.
Believe it or not, casual sex is a thing. You shouldn't really be taking so much offense to what guys say. So a guy wanted to sleep with you, no strings attached. So what? You're not the first nor last woman a guy will say stuff like that to. If you're not interested take it as a compliment and move on. "Go fuck yourself" if you want casual sex? Grow up. Your pessimism in damn near every one of your posts is growing so tiresome.
lol if leading with "I'd never date you but..." is your idea of a compliment, that's pretty sad.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Yeah. Not sure where the compliment is there, Cudder.
I'd never date you, but you might be of use to me to rub one out...
I'd never date you, but you might be of use to me to rub one out...
D
Deleted member 518153
Unconfirmed Member
I hope the link worked. Feeling my age when trying to post pics on Gaf. Looking for critiques please. Honestly I have a pretty low self esteem after being rejected for the last year by my ex fiance. I just recently started doing my hair and I'm not sure what to do with it. Previously I totally rocked a hat to the back so I'm viewing this time to grow up my look some.
Edit: link doesn't seem to work what do I do?
8/10. Would bang
Remove the img tags.
I think you look pretty good. Distinguished. I'd say your age works in your favor. Your looks won't be a limiting factor when dating.
Are you from Vancouver?
The ladies must be throwing themselves at you.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Interesting...
What. The. Fuck....
Man, these days, I don't know what constitutes loving oneself.
I'm working on it though. A lot actually. To the point where I'm wondering when will I unanimously love myself.
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