Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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-COOLIO- said:
Ever watched suits? This could be fun.
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Haha, I have. I actually threw a folder on the desk of one of the lawyer's at my firm and said "Hardman's gonna be coming at us with everything he's got, just do your Goddamn job." You know how Harvey always carries that folder that somehow contains a legal loophole to every legal issue? Yeah. We laughed.
 
stn said:
Haha, I have. I actually threw a folder on the desk of one of the lawyer's at my firm and said "Hardman's gonna be coming at us with everything he's got, just do your Goddamn job." You know how Harvey always carries that folder that somehow contains a legal loophole to every legal issue? Yeah. We laughed.
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well played.
 
So I joined tinder and okcupid but nothing, the tinder one is kinda screwed up since I had trouble getting the code. How do I get a date ?
 
Armadilo said:
So I joined tinder and okcupid but nothing, the tinder one is kinda screwed up since I had trouble getting the code. How do I get a date ?
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Swipe right, match, talk to a girl. Ask her to go out with you.

Have good pictures.
 
So it's not that hard ? I have never had a GF or asked someone out

- how long does it take to update tinder after you change Facebook stuff ?
 
Armadilo said:
So it's not that hard ? I have never had a GF or asked someone out
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For some people it's easy. For others, it's not. Like anything, it will take some time to learn and understand. You won't be good at it at the very beginning but you will learn.

Some key things I have learned:

1. Be straightforward with your interest.
2. Take it to real life ASAP (get number, set up date)
3. Unique opening lines that can make someone laugh are the best.
4. Have a variety of pictures. No mirror selfies.
5. Be straightforward with your interest.
6. Have fun

Dating is fun man! Tinder can definitely be a drag sometimes but stick with it. I've met a lot of people through it - good and bad.

I agree with individual above. Read "Models" by Mark Manson. A life-changing book for me that I still have to re-read sometimes.
 
Armadilo said:
So it's not that hard ? I have never had a GF or asked someone out
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You asked us a question just now on neogaf. You are capable of asking a girl on a date on an app. It's functionally the same, just type different letters.

Seriously though it's not rocket science, if you match a girl then talk to her. If she shows interest then you ask her for coffee. If she doesn't show interest then you move on to other girls. Actually you should have a few girls at all times until you decide to be exclusive. So match and chat with as many as you can, take out the ones that you are interested in and they are clearly also into you. Enjoy meeting many beautiful girls. Life is good.
 
Will get the book and hope to learn - I started recently going to the gym to get stronger and gain some confidence. Tired of being lonely
 
Dr Duncan Steel said:
So I was at a Best Buy upgrading my phone and was going through the motions of buying one with this pretty cute salesperson and just started talking to pass the time. We go to the same school we found out and yadda yadda yadda. So she whips out the new phone to see if it works and one of the things she did was called her own phone. Not a work phone, but her own. She said don't worry I won't be calling you. I guess that remark speaks for itself but.....ya know.
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You blew it. You were supposed to say something along the lines of "why not?"
 
Miles Quaritch said:
Do other things, see other people. Don't wait for her but if she comes and is interested in seeing you, then see where it goes.
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Turns out this was the case.

She's a slow texter, so I'll just have to be patient, but it took her like two full days to respond to a message. Give or take, that's just how she is I guess.

Anyways, her being gone, I sent her a text about class .

"Alright. Just a heads up, _____ plans on going to the stone or glass place next Thursday. It's not mandatory, but I think I may go for fun. It's on the eastern side of the bay. He's going to give out directions Tuesday. Just to keep you in the loop."

She responds back with a smile, etc, then mentions that she may go for fun and asks me if I wanted to car pool with her despite me mentioning that I planned on going.

I'm just going to turn it into a date. Get lunch or breakfast, so I'm going to ask her if she wants to get Café au Lait at this 5* rated café in my town.

Meanwhile, I hate texting. It's inefficient compared to a simple face to face conversation or call.

Until then, we have other stuff planned for the weekend, so I'll drop her a call about those things if she's not busy.
 
ant_ said:
Have good pictures.
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Shit's so subjective. I asked plenty of my girl friends what pictures I should use. No common ground... Then I decided that I'd use pictures that best represent me and that I feel most comfortable with. Without much result.


That... and I'm not really photogenic.
 
Denzar said:
Shit's so subjective. I asked plenty of my girl friends what pictures I should use. No common ground... Then I decided that I'd use pictures that best represent me and that I feel most comfortable with. Without much result.


That... and I'm not really photogenic.
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It's not really subjective. There are things that perform better than others.

1) No selfies
2) Yourself doing fun, interesting things
3) Yourself dressed up nicely
4) Yourself with a pet

You don't have to be with people in the pictures (I would say that most prefer you aren't).
 
Armadilo said:
So it seems nobody really joins these dating sites, even on tinder.. So what to do
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What are you talking about? Plenty of people on dating sites. Are you in a really small town or something?

Also, if you want help from this thread, posting one-sentence vague ideas is not the way to do it. Give us information on which to base the advice and we'll do our best. Help us help you. If you communicate with people like this in real life, it will be difficult to attract a woman. You need to work on effectively giving information: explain what you've tried, what the problem is, and how we can help you.
 
May as well write this here...

So two weeks ago for the first time in my life (or as far as I remember, I'm 29 btw.) I bit the bullet and asked a completely random women out. I've seen her working at a restaurant part time and have been checking her out for the past 2 months or so (been going on a coffee with my friend there frequently, so nothing too creepy).

Anyway, so 2 weeks ago I just walk up and ask her out while she was working. I was pretty floored when she actually accepted. Only guys who have actually done his can imagine how nervous I was (and probably looked and talked like).

Last week on Friday we actually meet and to say that this girl bewitched me would be an understatement. I originally intended to take her out but as it turns out she only wanted to take a walk and talk - which we did for around 90 minutes. I was freezing my ass off but it was totally worth it. She was super cute and kind and I found out that we share a lot of interests. We both love sports, taking a walk, classical music, languages (she speaks German, English and French), traveling and so on. We both hate drinking and smoking. I actually had to laugh a few times because even with smaller things we had similar views.

Like, how big are the chances that the first person you ask out has so much in common with you?

Of course, there had to be a HUGE catch. She is apparently very religious (Christian). Or so she says. Thing is, even though I have also been raised Christian I am like the absolute opposite. I'm actually a huge fan of Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris. But she was so kind and honest about her believes, I didn't even want to argue with her (although I usually really like to do that; it's so easy).

Anyway, after this wonderful walk we hugged each other and after asking she actually agreed that we meet again, though it's kinda difficult for her the next 2-3 weeks because she has to learn for school a lot (final year at her current school, so I kinda understand it as I've been there).

Now, tomorrow I'll be a week since we've met. I haven't texted her, she hasn't texted me. I think about here all the time. Been having troubles focusing on my work here... :(

I actually thought about giving it a rest for the next 2-3 weeks and leave her alone to focus on her studying but I really want to see her again.

What should I do GAF? Please halp! :(

She's 19 btw. I'm 29.
 
You are way too invested in someone that you aren't even actively communicating with. You had a great time - why haven't you set up a second date yet? Why haven't you texted just to check in? Don't text a lot, but use texting to set up a next in person meeting.

But don't get too nuts over her after just one date. That's dangerous behaviour.
 
ant_ said:
It's not really subjective. There are things that perform better than others.

1) No selfies
2) Yourself doing fun, interesting things
3) Yourself dressed up nicely
4) Yourself with a pet

You don't have to be with people in the pictures (I would say that most prefer you aren't).
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Got all those covered actually! There's one group pic though... But I think I look pretty good in that one.
 
TheExorzist said:
May as well write this here...

So two weeks ago for the first time in my life (or as far as I remember, I'm 29 btw.) I bit the bullet and asked a completely random women out. I've seen her working at a restaurant part time and have been checking her out for the past 2 months or so (been going on a coffee with my friend there frequently, so nothing too creepy).

Anyway, so 2 weeks ago I just walk up and ask her out while she was working. I was pretty floored when she actually accepted. Only guys who have actually done his can imagine how nervous I was (and probably looked and talked like).

Last week on Friday we actually meet and to say that this girl bewitched me would be an understatement. I originally intended to take her out but as it turns out she only wanted to take a walk and talk - which we did for around 90 minutes. I was freezing my ass off but it was totally worth it. She was super cute and kind and I found out that we share a lot of interests. We both love sports, taking a walk, classical music, languages (she speaks German, English and French), traveling and so on. We both hate drinking and smoking. I actually had to laugh a few times because even with smaller things we had similar views.

Like, how big are the chances that the first person you ask out has so much in common with you?

Of course, there had to be a HUGE catch. She is apparently very religious (Christian). Or so she says. Thing is, even though I have also been raised Christian I am like the absolute opposite. I'm actually a huge fan of Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris. But she was so kind and honest about her believes, I didn't even want to argue with her (although I usually really like to do that; it's so easy).

Anyway, after this wonderful walk we hugged each other and after asking she actually agreed that we meet again, though it's kinda difficult for her the next 2-3 weeks because she has to learn for school a lot (final year at her current school, so I kinda understand it as I've been there).

Now, tomorrow I'll be a week since we've met. I haven't texted her, she hasn't texted me. I think about here all the time. Been having troubles focusing on my work here... :(

I actually thought about giving it a rest for the next 2-3 weeks and leave her alone to focus on her studying but I really want to see her again.

What should I do GAF? Please halp! :(

She's 19 btw. I'm 29.
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A week without texting? If you want to give her some space, you could just drop her a text wishing her luck with her exams or something, without forcing a conversation (she'll make one if she wants).

Religion-wise, my stance is that if it's a personal belief, it's just between her and God, so whatever, you don't ever need to bring up religion. If she's a religious bigot who believes in the organized suppression of other people's rights, then it's best you find out asap anyway.
 
TheExorzist said:
May as well write this here...

So two weeks ago for the first time in my life (or as far as I remember, I'm 29 btw.) I bit the bullet and asked a completely random women out. I've seen her working at a restaurant part time and have been checking her out for the past 2 months or so (been going on a coffee with my friend there frequently, so nothing too creepy).

Anyway, so 2 weeks ago I just walk up and ask her out while she was working. I was pretty floored when she actually accepted. Only guys who have actually done his can imagine how nervous I was (and probably looked and talked like).

Last week on Friday we actually meet and to say that this girl bewitched me would be an understatement. I originally intended to take her out but as it turns out she only wanted to take a walk and talk - which we did for around 90 minutes. I was freezing my ass off but it was totally worth it. She was super cute and kind and I found out that we share a lot of interests. We both love sports, taking a walk, classical music, languages (she speaks German, English and French), traveling and so on. We both hate drinking and smoking. I actually had to laugh a few times because even with smaller things we had similar views.

Like, how big are the chances that the first person you ask out has so much in common with you?

Of course, there had to be a HUGE catch. She is apparently very religious (Christian). Or so she says. Thing is, even though I have also been raised Christian I am like the absolute opposite. I'm actually a huge fan of Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris. But she was so kind and honest about her believes, I didn't even want to argue with her (although I usually really like to do that; it's so easy).

Anyway, after this wonderful walk we hugged each other and after asking she actually agreed that we meet again, though it's kinda difficult for her the next 2-3 weeks because she has to learn for school a lot (final year at her current school, so I kinda understand it as I've been there).

Now, tomorrow I'll be a week since we've met. I haven't texted her, she hasn't texted me. I think about here all the time. Been having troubles focusing on my work here... :(

I actually thought about giving it a rest for the next 2-3 weeks and leave her alone to focus on her studying but I really want to see her again.

What should I do GAF? Please halp! :(

She's 19 btw. I'm 29.
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Nope. Religious difference is going to be a thing. And at 19 if she still sticks closely to it by her own will it isnt going anywhere.
 
Also, The Exorzist, the things you have in common are pretty common things. While I don't doubt that you are into this girl, liking travel and sports isn't exactly some cosmic coincidence. That being said, text her today to see how she's doing and set up a date for this weekend.

Armadilo, being vague and noncommittal like that is a huge turn off for anyone, especially women. You need to learn to say what you mean and exude self confidence and decisiveness. It isn't easy, but it is something to work on.
 
Llyranor said:
A week without texting? If you want to give her some space, you could just drop her a text wishing her luck with her exams or something, without forcing a conversation (she'll make one if she wants).
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Yeah, I figured. But I dunno. Like I said, I don't have much experience in this. My thought was that assuming she felt about me anything like I feel about her, it could very well affect her studying, which is the last thing I want.

I dunno guys. The whole set up for this was so weird. I have huge troubles figuring her out. Before I asked her out my buddy chatted with her quite a bit because I asked him to. He said that while nice she always seemed extremely nervous and even "slow" at times. Like, a bit stupid... Then every time I texted her she needs hours (literally) to reply but in the end always agrees to what I suggest. Therefore I didn't even think she would show up at all to the date. But not only does she show up super punctual but then she's nothing like she seemed. While a little bit shy in nature, she's super open and great to talk with.

It's really weird, I dunno...

ZackieChan said:
Also, The Exorzist, the things you have in common are pretty common things. While I don't doubt that you are into this girl, liking travel and sports isn't exactly some cosmic coincidence. That being said, text her today to see how she's doing and set up a date for this weekend.
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Well, yeah. I thought about that as well. About the things in common I mean. But it's really the little things that staggered me most. Like how I always used to say to my friends how I don't like the local dialect because it's a "farmers language"... So we talk about just that and I say "Well, I don't like it as well because it's like a...." and she completes the sentence with "farmers language".... Maybe (probably) I am overthinking stuff here but it was kinda weird.

I'm probably gonna text her tomorrow. Let's see how it goes.
 
It's fine to get excited over a good first date. Just don't overthink what happened and focus on every little thing. Remember, you barely know each other.

Keep in contact and set up a second date.
 
I keep reading in here not to do selfies for dating profiles. I don't understand that really.. I mean I stay pretty busy to keep my mind off things, but I don't have someone snapping pics of me either. I tend to do most of my activities solo these days.
 
TheExorzist said:
Yeah, I figured. But I dunno. Like I said, I don't have much experience in this. My thought was that assuming she felt about me anything like I feel about her, it could very well affect her studying, which is the last thing I want.

I dunno guys. The whole set up for this was so weird. I have huge troubles figuring her out. Before I asked her out my buddy chatted with her quite a bit because I asked him to. He said that while nice she always seemed extremely nervous and even "slow" at times. Like, a bit stupid... Then every time I texted her she needs hours (literally) to reply but in the end always agrees to what I suggest. Therefore I didn't even think she would show up at all to the date. But not only does she show up super punctual but then she's nothing like she seemed. While a little bit shy in nature, she's super open and great to talk with.

It's really weird, I dunno...


Well, yeah. I thought about that as well. About the things in common I mean. But it's really the little things that staggered me most. Like how I always used to say to my friends how I don't like the local dialect because it's a "farmers language"... So we talk about just that and I say "Well, I don't like it as well because it's like a...." and she completes the sentence with "farmers language".... Maybe (probably) I am overthinking stuff here but it was kinda weird.

I'm probably gonna text her tomorrow. Let's see how it goes.
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Why would you have your friend chat with her first? That is super weird.

If she likes you, she will reply to you and go out with you. If she doesn't do those things, she is not worth your time. It's actually extremely simple. Don't overcomplicate this. Just text her, ask her out again, and go have fun.
 
Atkison04 said:
I keep reading in here not to do selfies for dating profiles. I don't understand that really.. I mean I stay pretty busy to keep my mind off things, but I don't have someone snapping pics of me either. I tend to do most of my activities solo these days.
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Selfies are perfectly fine as long as you pair them with other pictures. I've always used at least one to show a clear shot of my face and another to show a clear shot of my body.
 
Said it before, I took one picture of me in my bedroom and didn't have any problems getting matches/dates.

I only had that picture too. Put more effort into your profile, that's the real meat and gives the person a better idea of who you are.
 
I've started talking to this girl, wanted to ask her out but didn't dare, think i need to talk to her a bit more first. My friend said it would have been a bit too quick for her, probably she's right.
 
Kurtofan said:
I've started talking to this girl, wanted to ask her out but didn't dare, think i need to talk to her a bit more first. My friend said it would have been a bit too quick for her, probably she's right.
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Didn't dare? Too quick?

Huh? Come on bro. Don't do this, if you like her and you feel she feels the same way, just ask her out. Don't do this back and forth of should I , shouldn't I.
 
Miles Quaritch said:
Didn't dare? Too quick?

Huh? Come on bro. Don't do this, if you like her and you feel she feels the same way, just ask her out. Don't do this back and forth of should I , shouldn't I.
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I don't know how she feels :p

I don't see her everyday too, I mean I barely started talking to her. She seems nice enough. but it's really sucks I don't see her more often. I thought about sending her an email, just to stay in communication (we can talk about class or something)
 
Kurtofan said:
I don't know how she feels :p

I don't see her everyday too, I mean I barely started talking to her.
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Ah, okay. Just met makes it a little different. Did you at least get her number so you can talk to her more?

Still, don't dawdle. If you feel there's something there, ask her and if she says no, it's time to move on.
 
Kurtofan said:
I don't know how she feels :p

I don't see her everyday too, I mean I barely started talking to her. She seems nice enough. but it's really sucks I don't see her more often. I thought about sending her an email, just to stay in communication (we can talk about class or something)
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Re: the edit.

Shoot an email and try to strike up a conversation about something other than class and see how it goes. Should be fairly obvious if she's interested or not through how she responds to your attempt to strike up a conversation.
 
Or he can just ask her out. Dating is getting to know someone, it's not the other way around. Most people decide pretty quickly if they are interested in you in a dating/romantic sense, hemming and hawing with lame excuses isn't going to get you anywhere.
 
gwailo said:
Or he can just ask her out. Dating is getting to know someone, it's not the other way around. Most people decide pretty quickly if they are interested in you in a dating/romantic sense, hemming and hawing with lame excuses isn't going to get you anywhere.
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Yeah, this is what I suggested at the beginning but he's clearly not comfortable/confident enough to just ask her, so why not try to get to know her a little better first.

An email or two later, he'll have a better idea of if he likes her and if she's interested in seeing anyone right now.
 
Miles Quaritch said:
Said it before, I took one picture of me in my bedroom and didn't have any problems getting matches/dates.

I only had that picture too. Put more effort into your profile, that's the real meat and gives the person a better idea of who you are.
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This. My pictures suck and I'm chubby but my profile is funny and has personality. I don't have any issues getting dates or unsolicited messages or responses.

Just put some time into writing stuff but not to much. Get one or two jokes in each blurb and you're good
 
Ultima_5 said:
This. My pictures suck and I'm chubby but my profile is funny and has personality. I don't have any issues getting dates or unsolicited messages or responses.

Just put some time into writing stuff but not to much. Get one or two jokes in each blurb and you're good
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...you're not wrong. My first profile had a terrible picture with a good profile, and it got me some dates. I'm still going to suggest to anyone that they put in some effort into their pics. Even if it's a picture you take of yourself...it's not hard to get something decent.
 
Well sigh…

So I had her over for date number 8 last night. We cooked this awesome recipe but she seemed a little distant with her kisses although touchy/feely etc.

By the end of the night I kind of forced the issue a little bit and, after she had told me, she is going to be moving out of state. We’ve only been seeing each other about two months but we’ve taken it slow and got to know one another.

We had a nice, if peaceful conversation and she, knowing she’s leaving doesn’t find herself available in that way whatsoever (to me or anyone). I could kind of tell but she said it wasn’t for a lack of attraction.

Anyway, I was bummed out and handled it well. I haven’t texted her yet but I liked her for her and we got along really well. We’ve actually become friends too. What should I do?
 
Kevtones said:
Well sigh…

So I had her over for date number 8 last night. We cooked this awesome recipe but she seemed a little distant with her kisses although touchy/feely etc.

By the end of the night I kind of forced the issue a little bit and, after she had told me, she is going to be moving out of state. We’ve only been seeing each other about two months but we’ve taken it slow and got to know one another.

We had a nice, if peaceful conversation and she, knowing she’s leaving doesn’t find herself available in that way whatsoever (to me or anyone). I could kind of tell but she said it wasn’t for a lack of attraction.

Anyway, I was bummed out and handled it well. I haven’t texted her yet but I liked her for her and we got along really well. We’ve actually become friends too. What should I do?
Click to expand...

Move on, keep interacting as a friend if that's something you really want but you need to take a break from talking to her so you can get over any feelings you still have and start to do what's best for you, which is getting back out there,
 
It's great reading through this thread. Just looking for a little insight as I've been thrown back into the dating game as of late and have since been dating a couple girls - with the most recent one I'm afraid I'm falling for.

Had two dates with her, both went pretty well. First I bought her dinner, second she treated me to coffee and we walked a bit around the city. On the way back to the subway, I bought her a bouquet of pink roses on a whim. She was floored and exclaimed she didn't know how to react since no one's ever done that for her. We've both been texting in between but admittedly shy with no physical contact yet.

Next morning I get a text basically saying thanks so much and to have a nice week. A little thrown as there's no reference to interest in seeing eachother again, I text back asking her out to dinner later in the week hoping to cement things a bit more. I get a response the next day stating how she's been really busy at work this week and has to stay late every night. It's rather lengthy and explanation very specific. She asks what about next week, but then goes on to confusingly say every weeknight is booked with her classes after work...but then...ends the text by saying 'but i'm sure we can figure something out :)'!

Am I overthinking this as being a twisted way to get out of a third date? The last sentence gives me hope, but...there's a part of me that's not sure.
 
Miles Quaritch said:
Move on, keep interacting as a friend if that's something you really want but you need to take a break from talking to her so you can get over any feelings you still have and start to do what's best for you, which is getting back out there,
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Well I guess I could ghost her at this point but there is this minor part of her that seemed unsure and she's not 100% moving. I still have feelings there and a minor amount of hope... Do I just move on?
 
Kevtones said:
Well I guess I could ghost her at this point but there is this minor part of her that seemed unsure and she's not 100% moving. I still have feelings there and a minor amount of hope... Do I just move on?
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Honestly and I hate to be blunt, she's rejected the idea of the relationship being more than it is right now.

If you're happy with things as they are now, stick with it, but I'd wager you're not as you want more and she's made it clear she doesn't. Don't ghost her, just move on and if she decides to keep in touch/doesn't move, see where things go, but don't just sit around waiting for her to make a move.

Approach this as you've got your answer, do you want to stay in this relationship and hope she changes her mind? Do you want however many more weeks/months of uncertainty as you wait for her to decide?
 
So I am a shy kid(gr10 high school if that helps) and I like this girl. I started talking to her a few weeks ago and haven't been talking to her for a while now is that the right move? The reason I stopped talking is that I feel like I am annoying her because of her replies. I asked some of my friends for some advice and they say that I should say Hi to her every morning, but because I am so shy I have trouble making eye contact with her let alone saying Hi to her. I have a feeling that she likes me by the way she looks at me sometimes... What do you think I should do GAF?
 
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