Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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Ray Wonder said:
Oh ok lol
Sick thanks that's simple af
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I usually hide it in rap lyrics that I write for them. 😉

Oblivion said:
Lol, alright, alright. I'll ask her. :P
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Sorry to go off on you, but it was more for the community at large since this question (or similar ones) comes up all the time!

Miles Quaritch said:
And that's why you ask for the number. If she doesn't give it to you or stop responding, onto the next person. This is just dragging things out. Ask her next time, if she stops responding, you've got your answer about how interested she is and saved yourself some needless hassle.



Indeed. Set up a date but don't get the digits or some kind of way to contact her off site?

.....



I wasn't going for being as blunt, but yeah. THIS.THIS.THIS. This all day, every day.
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Amazing that I agree with you on everything here, but don't agree with a single thing you said in that living at home until 30 thread.
 
Mr.Fusion said:
My original post.
http://m.neogaf.com/showpost.php?p=196745507

On Monday we were talking after class mostly about how busy this week/weekend are going to be since we have so many projects due next week. At the end I finally asked her to go out for dinner on Friday. (I'm an idiot first of all, I really don't have the extra time this week for a date, but I asked anyway.) Her response was "Remember, we have a ton of homework this weekend?" She thanked me for the invitation, and she asked how people say goodbye in the US. (She's from Central America originally, but speaks English pretty much perfectly.) I thought she meant the word, so I answered "See ya?", but I think she meant hug or handshake, because then she shook my hand and said See Ya!

Next couple days in class she talked to me a lot less than usual, but I noticed her looking over at me a number of times. Things seem a little weird.

Should I just move on, or try to ask her again for a date for next weekend since its the start of spring break and we'll both be free (from homework at least)?
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Homework first, then decide.
 
ssharm02 said:
should i search for a new library now? is it going to be too awkward to go there?! She probably made fun of me among her library friends right?!
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How do I patch things up at this library? One of the librarians walked past me to check my work, I have been getting some strange vibes from the place, it breaks my concentration. Thing is, I really like studying here and its near my work place.

I can't lend any books because I am from another part of town, how do i start a casual conversation to calm them down. I don't want to create a negative environment where I study.
 
jesus dude, calm down. stop thinking that everyone cares about you. they probably already forgot about the whole thing.

It's literally all in your head.
 
ssharm02 said:
ok, i just dont want to be seen as the negative/creepy quiet guy. :/
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You need to unwind. Go to the bar and get some drinks, man.

Just socialize and don't over think. Now, I don't know if this is anecdotal information that I'm seeking, but have you always been like this?
 
Bruce Springsteen said:
So this girl I've been seeing, I'm thinking it's starting to cool off, can't put my finger on it. We usually see each 2x a week, seeing her tonight and Sunday so that's not the issue. Maybe the texting frequency dropped a lot this week. I don't bombarded her with texts, I'm just letting it play out. Guess I'll know for sure tonight

Friend said I'm over thinking it, maybe I am
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I'll be interested in how it went tonight. In my limited experience I think you have reason to be worried. Some girls are just not into texting that much and that's fine, but when they text a lot and then the frequency starts to drop, that can be a bad sign.
 
Scotch said:
I'll be interested in how it went tonight. In my limited experience I think you have reason to be worried. Some girls are just not into texting that much and that's fine, but when they text a lot and then the frequency starts to drop, that can be a bad sign.
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I feel the opposite. Let's see who wins 😉
 
I've been reading this thread for a while, but I thought I'd finally post and gets some thoughts from you guys. I've got a 4th date coming up, but I'm pretty confused about the girl!

First date was good, we walked around the city for a few hours, got some food and ended it with a hug. 2nd date we went to the zoo and had a really fun day, but she really wasn't giving much indication to how much she liked me, so I just went for another hug again rather than a kiss. She texted me the next morning saying she had a great time, and we arranged to go to the cinema for the 3rd date. The film was really good, but we got a drink afterwards and for some reason it was just really awkward.. she's really shy so conversation is definitely better when we're doing something more active. Again I couldn't tell how into it she dropped me off and we left it with a hug. (At this point I should have just kissed her).

Anyway, we've got a fun 4th date lined up, but I'm damn confused. I'm used to kissing / sex on the 2nd / 3rd dates, with girls that actually give some sort of indication to their interest. She's just got out of a really long term relationship and apparently I'm the first date she's ever had, so that might be why it's not clear?

What do you reckon GAF? Grow some balls and go for a kiss? At least then I'll know right!
 
Raknar said:
I've been reading this thread for a while, but I thought I'd finally post and gets some thoughts from you guys. I've got a 4th date coming up, but I'm pretty confused about the girl!

First date was good, we walked around the city for a few hours, got some food and ended it with a hug. 2nd date we went to the zoo and had a really fun day, but she really wasn't giving much indication to how much she liked me, so I just went for another hug again rather than a kiss. She texted me the next morning saying she had a great time, and we arranged to go to the cinema for the 3rd date. The film was really good, but we got a drink afterwards and for some reason it was just really awkward.. she's really shy so conversation is definitely better when we're doing something more active. Again I couldn't tell how into it she dropped me off and we left it with a hug. (At this point I should have just kissed her).

Anyway, we've got a fun 4th date lined up, but I'm damn confused. I'm used to kissing / sex on the 2nd / 3rd dates, with girls that actually give some sort of indication to their interest. She's just got out of a really long term relationship and apparently I'm the first date she's ever had, so that might be why it's not clear?

What do you reckon GAF? Grow some balls and go for a kiss? At least then I'll know right!
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you're used to sex by date 2 but have't kissed by date 4? I'd go for the kiss right away to start the date
 
I feel ashamed to say that it's been a while since I've formed a crush this bad.

Fuck, it's bad.

Man, I can't wait to get out of the enamored stage. This girl is all I think of as of now. It's like she's a seed planted in my mind, and it's growing out of control. I've held off texting her as of now.

We've texted back and forth a small amount a few days and we did a light meetup with coffee a few days ago.

This week, we're planning on spending a large part of Thursday together. The thing is, we're going to a place, that our instructor told us that is not mandatory, for fun. We don't even have to go there. I proposed the idea to her. We've just been spending a bit of time together talking, texting. I'm going to ask her if she wants to meet for breakfast/coffee at this cafe in San Francisco before we head out that morning, then I'm really going to ask her about her feelings of dating. I thought about asking her through text, but she's not the most responsive texting person, and I'd rather ask in person.

.... Man. And it's like she gets cuter and cuter every time I see her. What is this shit?
 
Bruce Springsteen said:
Not to be cynical, but girls are responsive if they want to be
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When she texts, she sends them out in big bursts and types a lot.

We're both in school full time and she works, so I'm not really worried about her ghosting me, especially considering our conversations in/out of class.

She's the type of person that would rather schedule time to talk than to text all day.
 
Well, the 8 dates one that was moving away… I called her after not really saying much for 3-4 days and left a message.


Her reason for stopping things is that she's 80% moving to Colorado from LA in about month. It's made her unavailable emotionally/physically because she doesn't want to get attached and it came up when I got physical with her last Wednesday. We decided to end things after about 7-8 weeks.


Well she called back and I had to cut off the flirty conversation after 20 minutes. We're going to a comedy show at UCB this week. As friends. She invited me to something Saturday too.


We'll see.
 
Welp, so much for that. Girl I was supposed to meet up with this week says she's no longer interested. I guess it's probably good that she was up front about it at least?

Whatever. This weekend sucked ass anyway, so it's a good way to end it, I suppose.
 
M52B28 said:
When she texts, she sends them out in big bursts and types a lot.

We're both in school full time and she works, so I'm not really worried about her ghosting me, especially considering our conversations in/out of class.

She's the type of person that would rather schedule time to talk than to text all day.
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Don't get over invested, man. This is dangerous. Sure she's cute, but there's a ton of cute girls out there. Play it cool.

Oblivion said:
Welp, so much for that. Girl I was supposed to meet up with this week says she's no longer interested. I guess it's probably good that she was up front about it at least?

Whatever. This weekend sucked ass anyway, so it's a good way to end it, I suppose.
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That's why you should always be working multiple girls :)
 
OK. .OK. .so I'm a 21 year old guy...you might of seen one my past threads of me asking advice and what not.

So I have never had a girlfriend or asked someone out, Ever! Why ? I would think because of FEAR. Fear of rejection. So scared that I would rather not even try. But recently I have tried to change myself as my entire life I have just been that Shy and quiet guy, the Loner.

I have changed or at least try to improve..I can look anyone in the eyes and talk to them..I have no friends or anyone to talk to .I started going to the gym to get fit.I started to ask for girls names that work at stores and gym..etc.. Just to introduce myself.

But I guess I don't want to be a weirdo. Another example that I have talked about was with this barista, I know her name and she knows mine. I meet her once a week for my weekly random drink. Maybe she likes me or maybe not as she's just doing her job.

I was going to ask if she was single on Saturday...I was like halfway there. I could see her but I stopped and turned the other way. What happened if she was just doing what she does ? I'm just going to make it awkward for her. Maybe she's married or has a boyfriend?

If I don't say anything, then nothing happens and we just meet once a week for my coffee, we smile and I leave. I would just be that guy.

I recently got on many online dating sites but it seems nobody really uses it in my city. Only a couple of people.Now all I have is Tinder but no luck as it seems all I get matched up with is fake accounts.

I just don't know...maybe it's just fear. As long as I am scared to ask a girl out, nothing will ever happen. Online dating doesn't seem like an option so maybe just ask a girl out in person. Doesn't matter if I end up as a creep and a weirdo. I'm a shy and nice dude who like you. Maybe someone will eventually say, YES.
 
I think it was recommended to you before, but read Models by Mark Manson. It addresses all of this.

Basically, you want to be like idgaf about whether they say yes or not. The question is whether or not she is good enough for you. That is the mindset. Make yourself someone that women want to date. Carry yourself like someone who has confidence. If your Thanksgiving photo thread is any indication, you have a lot of work to do. But you can do it! I was a guy who never looked at anything but the ground while walking. Didn't look anyone in the eye. Now I will look at anyone and talk to any woman, whether I want to date them or not.
 
Oblivion said:
Welp, so much for that. Girl I was supposed to meet up with this week says she's no longer interested. I guess it's probably good that she was up front about it at least?

Whatever. This weekend sucked ass anyway, so it's a good way to end it, I suppose.
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Definitely. I know it sucks, but at least you have some "closure" and weren't ghosted and left wondering.

On to the next :P
 
ZackieChan said:
Don't get over invested, man. This is dangerous. Sure she's cute, but there's a ton of cute girls out there. Play it cool.
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Understood.

I feel like many of the girls in my school just aren't as interesting as her, and many just seem artificial.

What I like most about her is that she doesn't try to project who she is through the way she acts or dresses. There's a ton of fucking scenesters at my school, and weeding through them is difficult.

I can play it cool, but that's just how I feel at the moment. It'll blow over.
 
Oblivion said:
Welp, so much for that. Girl I was supposed to meet up with this week says she's no longer interested. I guess it's probably good that she was up front about it at least?

Whatever. This weekend sucked ass anyway, so it's a good way to end it, I suppose.
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This is the girl whose number you didn't get?

We could have told you that was just a waste of time. If you can't get the number/it isn't offered freely after a few messages, it's very likely not going anywhere.

Don't get sucked in next time. Be proactive. Ask for the number and if it's not forthcoming with BS excuses, time to move on.
 
Armadilo said:
OK. .OK. .so I'm a 21 year old guy...you might of seen one my past threads of me asking advice and what not.

So I have never had a girlfriend or asked someone out, Ever! Why ? I would think because of FEAR. Fear of rejection. So scared that I would rather not even try. But recently I have tried to change myself as my entire life I have just been that Shy and quiet guy, the Loner.

I have changed or at least try to improve..I can look anyone in the eyes and talk to them..I have no friends or anyone to talk to .I started going to the gym to get fit.I started to ask for girls names that work at stores and gym..etc.. Just to introduce myself.

But I guess I don't want to be a weirdo. Another example that I have talked about was with this barista, I know her name and she knows mine. I meet her once a week for my weekly random drink. Maybe she likes me or maybe not as she's just doing her job.

I was going to ask if she was single on Saturday...I was like halfway there. I could see her but I stopped and turned the other way. What happened if she was just doing what she does ? I'm just going to make it awkward for her. Maybe she's married or has a boyfriend?

If I don't say anything, then nothing happens and we just meet once a week for my coffee, we smile and I leave. I would just be that guy.

I recently got on many online dating sites but it seems nobody really uses it in my city. Only a couple of people.Now all I have is Tinder but no luck as it seems all I get matched up with is fake accounts.

I just don't know...maybe it's just fear. As long as I am scared to ask a girl out, nothing will ever happen. Online dating doesn't seem like an option so maybe just ask a girl out in person. Doesn't matter if I end up as a creep and a weirdo. I'm a shy and nice dude who like you. Maybe someone will eventually say, YES.
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Actually, I think you are making pretty good strides here. Gym is good. Getting fit will help your confidence. Don't obsess about the coffee girl. If you fixate, then it will come across goofy (or way worse).

You are right to think about how you can take small steps in speaking with women, even if it is just a barista or gym girl. Its their job to be nice, so don't view these as options so much as it is simply working on conversation (small ones) in a non-fail environment.

If I were you (not knowing where you live), think of ways to put yourself in "traffic." Local groups, hobbies, sports leagues, etc. And DO NOT PRESSURE YOURSELF INTO MAKING IT HAPPEN ALL AT ONCE. Women are insanely intuitive when it comes to this.

Gotta learn to fake some confidence (until you actually have it), learn to speak to women not as there is something to lose or gain, but simply speaking.

And, as a suggestion, don't swing for the fence. Don't talk to that super model girl thinking its going to work. It probably wont. Just go for a base hit and keep in mind that there are indeed "leagues" in this world and though you can move in and out of different leagues, as a general rule, know them, and understand its a thing.
 
Raven117 said:
And, as a suggestion, don't swing for the fence. Don't talk to that super model girl thinking its going to work. It probably wont. Just go for a base hit and keep in mind that there are indeed "leagues" in this world and though you cant move in and out of different leagues, as a general rule, know them, and understand its a thing.
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I agree with everything else you suggested to him, but not all of this last segment.

Assuming you meant to say "can" instead of "can't" in terms of moving between leagues - having a league mindset is just silly to begin with. Are there people out there who are probably not in your realistic dating plane? Sure, probably. But more often than not, it's all in your head, and you have nothing to lose by trying. I'd encourage it. Talk to people you're attracted. Whether or not it works out and you get a number, you're practicing for future interactions, and displaying a level of confidence both to yourself and to this person that a lot of people never display. You'll only grow if you're willing to allow this experience to be positive despite the outcome. That's more of my interpretation of the "go for a base hit".
 
Accepting there are leagues means you're approaching dating ready to fail.

There are no leagues. The supermodel you're talking about, she should be so lucky to be with you, to be someone you want to be with. Someone you want to dedicate some of your time to.
 
Miles Quaritch said:
Accepting there are leagues means you're approaching dating ready to fail.

There are no leagues. The supermodel you're talking about, she should be so lucky to be with you, to be someone you want to be with. Someone you want to dedicate some of your time to.
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that's a good attitude to have no doubt, but it's very natural for an average joe to feel intimated by a 5'11" runway model, scientifically even
 
Pasta_Soup said:
I agree with everything else you suggested to him, but not all of this last segment.

Assuming you meant to say "can" instead of "can't" in terms of moving between leagues - having a league mindset is just silly to begin with. Are there people out there who are probably not in your realistic dating plane? Sure, probably. But more often than not, it's all in your head, and you have nothing to lose by trying. I'd encourage it. Talk to people you're attracted. Whether or not it works out and you get a number, you're practicing for future interactions, and displaying a level of confidence both to yourself and to this person that a lot of people never display. You'll only grow if you're willing to allow this experience to be positive despite the outcome. That's more of my interpretation of the "go for a base hit".
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I did mean to say "can" and edited accordingly.

Of course this is also good advice as well. My advice was tailored for the poster that has ZERO experience with this stuff. (I was assuming)

Sure, you have nothing to lose by punching above your weight class, but if you don't have the confidence yet and super shy, then having it not work can really set you back. This is what Im talking about. Small first steps. Once you have the whole operation up and running, well then you can start talking about taking risks, etc. etc. Advising on some poor kid who is super shy to go all out to some super-model chick first time out of the gate is setting him up to fail. And I think that failure would be taken much harder and act as a set back for someone who hasn't the confidence yet.

Miles Quaritch said:
Accepting there are leagues means you're approaching dating ready to fail.

There are no leagues. The supermodel you're talking about, she should be so lucky to be with you, to be someone you want to be with. Someone you want to dedicate some of your time to.
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I mean, I appreciate your post. I do. And in many ways should be the advice followed on an individual basis, but IMO there are "leagues" to some extent and it can govern the underlying order of things. Not saying they can't be broken, not at all. But generally speaking, yeah, they are there, and yeah, it would do well to be able to recognize them when you are trying to simply get your success rate up.

Remember, my advise (while far from gospel) was specifically tailored to the super shy kid, not someone who has already had some success.
 
I've got a date on Wednesday with a girl I've been talking to for a couple of weeks. I've talked to her more than I usually do before meeting up, so I'm nervous. I'm trying to think of a few things to bring up in conversation, which usually helps me a lot.
 
Raven117 said:
I mean, I appreciate your post. I do. And in many ways should be the advice followed on an individual basis, but IMO there are "leagues" to some extent and it can govern the underlying order of things. Not saying they can't be broken, not at all. But generally speaking, yeah, they are there, and yeah, it would do well to be able to recognize them when you are trying to simply get your success rate up
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Eh there are not leagues. Leagues is something that people game up with to justify failure. A super hot girl or guy is just still a person and you can't project what they will like or desire strictly from what they look like. In the conventional usage of the word, they really dont exist. And I mean if you don't go for all the best looking people that you feel attracted to of course your success rate will go up but not due to any natural order. Rates are dependant on quantity, that's it.

People that believe in leagues like "that guy is too handsome for me" or "that girl is a 10, I can't get her" really arent doing themselves any favours. If you see someone you like, you go for it that's all there is to it.
 
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