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[Banjo-Kazooie]

2 chances is a good standard because sometimes shit does happen. I had someone from Tinder cancel on me recently because of a legit sudden injury (sent me a picture and everything).

Right. But if it's legit they actual tel you why instead of just saying they don't have time or some shit. That's just a straight up lie. Think of your life, there's always time to shoot a quick text or at the very least meet up at least ONCE. If they were so incredibly busy then they wouldn't be spending their day on dating sites just to not go out with you.

 

[HUELEN10]

Oh lord, don't model any part of your life after Huelen.

It will be hard to pick up the ladies when you are poor because you bought too many "special" Amiibos.

The hell are you talking about?

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

Well, my date went alright, but I'm not sure if she was into me. She had been texting me every night, so we'll see if it continues tomorrow...

 

[ZackieChan]

Well, my date went alright, but I'm not sure if she was into me. She had been texting me every night, so we'll see if it continues tomorrow...

This is why you put minimal effort into texting before you meet up. Why waste your time if you don't know if there's physical/in-person compatibility yet?

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Well, my date went alright, but I'm not sure if she was into me. She had been texting me every night, so we'll see if it continues tomorrow...

So, the date went alright - were you into her? Believe me, and I've been there: sometimes, just because you can score another date doesn't mean you really want to. Assess whether you're even interested enough, or whether you had sufficient chemistry, to continue. There's no need to force it.

 

[vern]

The hell are you talking about?

Lol you got a bat signal?

 

[ZackieChan]

Lol you got a bat signal?

 

[Miles Quaritch]

2 chances is a good standard because sometimes shit does happen. I had someone from Tinder cancel on me recently because of a legit sudden injury (sent me a picture and everything).

Right. But if it's legit they actual tel you why instead of just saying they don't have time or some shit. That's just a straight up lie. Think of your life, there's always time to shoot a quick text or at the very least meet up at least ONCE. If they were so incredibly busy then they wouldn't be spending their day on dating sites just to not go out with you.

Yep and yep.

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

This is why you put minimal effort into texting before you meet up. Why waste your time if you don't know if there's physical/in-person compatibility yet?

Yeah, lesson learned. I've got to set up dates quicker.

So, the date went alright - were you into her? Believe me, and I've been there: sometimes, just because you can score another date doesn't mean you really want to. Assess whether you're even interested enough, or whether you had sufficient chemistry, to continue. There's no need to force it.

That's what I'm trying to figure out. Her personality might be too similar to mine, which I'm not sure if I like lol.

 

[KUON.0101]

Perfect response to that. Perfect.

I agree. This is a clear hint that she is not interested anymore. Or else she would try to set a date.

Good reaction! Better luck with the next.

 

[j0hnnix]

Few months ago, shortly after Thanksgiving I broke up with my gf which I was with for a year.. it was a bad breakup , I argued with her called her Evil(yes this was the worst of it) after she said she was using me and didn't love me.. I gathered everything and gave it all back to her and walked away leaving her at her car.. fast forward to my birthday she messages me early in the morning with our normal Panda gif and says Happy Birthday. I responded with that was super sweet of her and thank you. she said that she hopes I have a good day , and I respond thank you , the message made my day and I hope you have a good day as well. Yesterday evening she sends me another message with a picture showing me Trader Joes now has Siracha Chips, she knows I love them.. so I sent her a shocked owl gig and she lol, at trader joes.... Am I reading to much into these messages , is she missing me? should I go further with it?

 

[Dwayne]

Am I reading to much into these messages , is she missing me? should I go further with it?

Sounds like she's just being friendly. I occasionally spot things that my ex would be into and will send the image on. I try to be nice but I don't have any interest in hanging out with her. I wouldn't imagine this is much different.

 

[gwailo]

Few months ago, shortly after Thanksgiving I broke up with my gf which I was with for a year.. it was a bad breakup , I argued with her called her Evil(yes this was the worst of it) after she said she was using me and didn't love me.. I gathered everything and gave it all back to her and walked away leaving her at her car.. fast forward to my birthday she messages me early in the morning with our normal Panda gif and says Happy Birthday. I responded with that was super sweet of her and thank you. she said that she hopes I have a good day , and I respond thank you , the message made my day and I hope you have a good day as well. Yesterday evening she sends me another message with a picture showing me Trader Joes now has Siracha Chips, she knows I love them.. so I sent her a shocked owl gig and she lol, at trader joes.... Am I reading to much into these messages , is she missing me? should I go further with it?

Why exactly did you break up?

If she was "using" you before, chances are she's trying to do so again. You're the nice guy backup she's trying to activate.

 

[j0hnnix]

Why exactly did you break up?

If she was "using" you before, chances are she's trying to do so again. You're the nice guy backup she's trying to activate.

Sounds like she's just being friendly. I occasionally spot things that my ex would be into and will send the image on. I try to be nice but I don't have any interest in hanging out with her. I wouldn't imagine this is much different.

Dwayne, I am thinking the same thing, its been 4 months with no contact. She told me 2 months ago she was not going to date but I paid no mind and moved on.

Gwailo,I got tired of many things that happened between us. She would tell me she was sick but would find out she was with her guy friends whoever they were, I never caught her cheating, but this happened twice and finally after a few months I was upset and just let it all out after Thanksgiving when we had plans and she decided to have me take her to her friends to have lunch over our plans.. I guess I finally got fed up over the lies, the misleading.

 

[Your Entertainer]

Dwayne, I am thinking the same thing, its been 4 months with no contact. She told me 2 months ago she was not going to date but I paid no mind and moved on.

Gwailo,I got tired of many things that happened between us. She would tell me she was sick but would find out she was with her guy friends whoever they were, I never caught her cheating, but this happened twice and finally after a few months I was upset and just let it all out after Thanksgiving when we had plans and she decided to have me take her to her friends to have lunch over our plans.. I guess I finally got fed up over the lies, the misleading.

Dude, fuck that. Knowing this, the first guy sounds right. Stay away from this girl. Do not respond or contact her. It will only lead to you getting hurt.

 

[Raknar]

What do people here think of staying friends with a girl when she's ended it?

'I would love to still hang out and be friends because I really enjoy your company xx'

Block and move on?

 

[Llyranor]

Gwailo,I got tired of many things that happened between us. She would tell me she was sick but would find out she was with her guy friends whoever they were, I never caught her cheating, but this happened twice and finally after a few months I was upset and just let it all out after Thanksgiving when we had plans and she decided to have me take her to her friends to have lunch over our plans.. I guess I finally got fed up over the lies, the misleading.

Regardless of her intentions, do you really want to go back to this drama?

What do people here think of staying friends with a girl when she's ended it?

'I would love to still hang out and be friends because I really enjoy your company xx'

Block and move on?

If you want to date her, yes. If you've moved on, then you can do whatever you want, it doesn't matter

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Few months ago, shortly after Thanksgiving I broke up with my gf which I was with for a year.. it was a bad breakup , I argued with her called her Evil(yes this was the worst of it) after she said she was using me and didn't love me.. I gathered everything and gave it all back to her and walked away leaving her at her car.. fast forward to my birthday she messages me early in the morning with our normal Panda gif and says Happy Birthday. I responded with that was super sweet of her and thank you. she said that she hopes I have a good day , and I respond thank you , the message made my day and I hope you have a good day as well. Yesterday evening she sends me another message with a picture showing me Trader Joes now has Siracha Chips, she knows I love them.. so I sent her a shocked owl gig and she lol, at trader joes.... Am I reading to much into these messages , is she missing me? should I go further with it?

What guidance do you need? She hasn't changed. She was honest about how she felt back then and that's very likely how she feels now.

If I had to guess, she was feeling lonely and wanted to try and re-establish herself in your life. These messages are probes, to see how you'll respond, to see if you'll start to message her unprompted too.

(I've had this happen to me and I stupidly feel for it and it only caused me months of headache until I finally realised what was happening and how stupid I'd been.)

There's nothing to be gained here apart from misery. Move on, don't see the messages as anything more than attempts to get back into your life.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

What do people here think of staying friends with a girl when she's ended it?

'I would love to still hang out and be friends because I really enjoy your company xx'

Block and move on?

Do you still have any feelings for her? If you do and you want to be friends, can you get over them and focus on just being friends?

If you can't, block and move on. If you can, take a short break and try to be friends.

 

[j0hnnix]

Regardless of her intentions, do you really want to go back to this drama?


If you want to date her, yes. If you've moved on, then you can do whatever you want, it doesn't matter

What guidance do you need? She hasn't changed. She was honest about how she felt back then and that's very likely how she feels now.

If I had to guess, she was feeling lonely and wanted to try and re-establish herself in your life. These messages are probes, to see how you'll respond, to see if you'll start to message her unprompted too.

(I've had this happen to me and I stupidly feel for it and it only caused me months of headache until I finally realised what was happening and how stupid I'd been.)

There's nothing to be gained here apart from misery. Move on, don't see the messages as anything more than attempts to get back into your life.

I do not want the drama anymore. I've established a more relaxed , flexible life after her..

Miles, you pretty much hit the nail on the head with what I was thinking. I was already knowing this was a "testing waters" and wanted to see what opinion dating GAF members had on it and they fall in line with what's on my mind(did not purposely try to make it rhyme). I responded kindly and left it at that but I am not messaging her after that.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I do not want the drama anymore. I've established a more relaxed , flexible life after her..

Miles, you pretty much hit the nail on the head with what I was thinking. I was already knowing this was a "testing waters" and wanted to see what opinion dating GAF members had on it and they fall in line with what's on my mind(did not purposely try to make it rhyme). I responded kindly and left it at that but I am not messaging her after that.

Excellent.

Really happy to hear you've established a more relaxed life.

 

[Raknar]

Regardless of her intentions, do you really want to go back to this drama?


If you want to date her, yes. If you've moved on, then you can do whatever you want, it doesn't matter

Do you still have any feelings for her? If you do and you want to be friends, can you get over them and focus on just being friends?

If you can't, block and move on. If you can, take a short break and try to be friends.

I'm not sure what to think at the moment, she sent me a huge WhatsApp message that covers the entire screen saying how she really likes me but basically is still a mess over her recent break up. I haven't replied yet, but I feel like I owe her a response for being so honest.

I guess I wouldn't mind being friends, but I feel like it would be really awkward.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I'm not sure what to think at the moment, she sent me a huge WhatsApp message that covers the entire screen saying how she really likes me but basically is still a mess over her recent break up. I haven't replied yet, but I feel like I owe her a response for being so honest.

I guess I wouldn't mind being friends, but I feel like it would be really awkward.

Sounds like you have your answer. If you feel it would be awkward, there's no point. You won't be able to relax or feel comfortable around her. You'll worry that every little thing you do might be taken out of context.

As for this long message. Hmm. Not to seem too cynical, but maybe she wants you to stick around so you can be her emotional blanket during this time and when she's feeling better, she'll cut you loose?

 

[gwailo]

Sounds like the "nice guy backup" powerup being activated. Her new "exciting" guy didn't work out so she's trying to go back to you either as an emotional sponge while she bangs other guys.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Sounds like the "nice guy backup" powerup being activated. Her new "exciting" guy didn't work out so she's trying to go back to you either as an emotional sponge while she bangs other guys.

I thought I was being overly cynical thinking this...

But yeah, it's probably this. I never trust long messages about how someone is still feeling broken up over something and just needs time.

It's usually garbage and a play to try and keep you in their life by making you feel sorry for them and slightly perverse in that it makes you think you might have a chance once they feel better...

 

[j0hnnix]

Sounds like the "nice guy backup" powerup being activated. Her new "exciting" guy didn't work out so she's trying to go back to you either as an emotional sponge while she bangs other guys.

I thought I was being overly cynical thinking this...

But yeah, it's probably this. I never trust long messages about how someone is still feeling broken up over something and just needs time.

It's usually garbage and a play to try and keep you in their life by making you feel sorry for them and slightly perverse in that it makes you think you might have a chance once they feel better...

Honestly its sick and twisted game. I get it. Psychologically.. I understand it as well. Just don't need it in my life any more. she just realizing what she's only good for.

 

[Raknar]

Sounds like you have your answer. If you feel it would be awkward, there's no point. You won't be able to relax or feel comfortable around her. You'll worry that every little thing you do might be taken out of context.

As for this long message. Hmm. Not to seem too cynical, but maybe she wants you to stick around so you can be her emotional blanket during this time and when she's feeling better, she'll cut you loose?

I think I need to sleep on it before I message her. I'm thinking I'll just say 'thanks for being honest' and leave it at that.

Yeah maybe, in the message she said she's a mess over her breakup but that there's also someone else that she's liked for a long time. To be fair, as I'm typing this out, staying friends just seems like a bad idea.

 

[WolfeTone]

After a couple of months of trying out an exclusive relationship, I've returned to being single. As much as I cared for the girl, I feel like I'm a happier person when I'm single. It's a common experience I've had while dating and being a part of more serious relationships, after a while I get kind of bored of the whole thing and just desire the freedom to get back out there into the dating world.

I'm torn between the idea that I just haven't met the right person yet vs me just not being suited to being in a relationship. After so long, I'm leaning towards the latter, but I'm quite content with that. I wonder if my perspective will change as I get older, I'm in my late 20s now so it's possible that as I get older (and presumably uglier) and my opportunities to date hot women dry up, I might feel more inclined to 'settle down', but who can say for sure.

Anyone else here prefer being single but enjoy the dating process? I kinda feel like I'm a more interesting person when I'm single. I get out more, I'm more social, I pick up new hobbies. When I'm in a relationship it feels like my motivation to improve as a person just drops to zero.

Regardless, glad to be back in the dating world.

 

[Zerokku]

So long stupid wall of text inc.

To start off with I was raised in a very religious household. I was raised with particular views on dating that looking back were pretty hardcore and fundamentalist. While I eventually left that faith a lot of that "programming" is still with me.Light kissing and holding hands were as far as I was ever supposed to go. "Making out" was pretty much heresy before marriage, etc. Theres a lot more about my former faith that really fucked me up in terms of how I viewed dating, but I'd be filling pages if I went into all that. Anyways, while I was in high-school I still very devoutly believed, which means while I did date a little, in terms of the physical aspect of it... it never went very far. Holding hands and a kiss on the cheek was about it for most of my highschool relationships.

When I started out for college (which was roughly around the same time as my disaffection with my former faith), I managed to start dating my high school dream girl. The kind you see guys pine over for their entire high school years. She was the kind of girl that my entire social circle was infatuated with. And I was dating her. And it was a great relationship. The problem was is that it was essentially long-distance relationship (her living over an hour away). We only saw eachother probably a good 10 times over the ~1.5 years we were dating. But it was still incredible. I was still "deprogramming" during this period though so when we did spent time together, physically the relationship never went past kissing her a couple times (and again never making out). And then she cheated on me. With one of my best friends.

I don't open up very easily at all. I'm good enough appearing very social and carefree but when it really comes down to it I'm a really introverted and guarded person and despite that she was one of the few I had really opened up to completely and then that happened. I took it super hard, especially because of who she had cheated on me with. I grew absolutely bitter and resentful. I hated her guts, and myself even more for letting myself be open and get hurt like that. For years I just didn't have the desire/interest in dating because of it all and was alone all throughout the rest of my college years because of it.

That being said I slowly started to get better. Fast foward to a couple years ago. My younger brother died. That didn't really put me in a great emotional position for just about anything. Especially because a lot of my life had been centered around taking care of him (he was handicapped). So my life was completely changed and well, dating wasn't really much of a concern. And went kind of hermit mode for the last couple years. I did eventually get a full-time job that I enjoy, but my life was basically work, video games, sleep, with the occasional hangouts with friends.

Fast forward again to now. I'm 26. I've realized it's past time to get my shit together. I finally bought my own car. I'm starting to hang out with friends more as well as simply going out more (concerts and the like). I'll be starting to go to the gym here soon. And I want to start dating again. But it's been over 5 years now since I've done any kind of dating. And I shared all that because well, fuck. I have no clue what the hell I'm doing anymore. I'm not sure I ever really did. I'm 26 years old and I'm a virgin that's only had a couple real kisses in my life. I've never made out with anyone and wouldn't know what the hell to do in that kind of instance. I like to think I'm pretty damn confident in all aspects of my life, except when it comes to dating. Between my upbringing and my past experiences I just mentally close up and freeze. Like I absolutely know I should just be comfortable and go for it, but in the moment my brain is just all "lolnope".

How do I get past it?

TLR - I'm a 26 year old with a lot of baggage that I like to think I've somewhat dealt with but I'm inexperienced as fuck and lack any confidence in myself in dating and have no idea how to deal with it.

 

[ZackieChan]

Anyone else here prefer being single but enjoy the dating process? I kinda feel like I'm a more interesting person when I'm single. I get out more, I'm more social, I pick up new hobbies. When I'm in a relationship it feels like my motivation to improve as a person just drops to zero.

Regardless, glad to be back in the dating world.

Yeah, it's awesome. Not in any rush for something serious. Maybe when I'm 50 😈😈😈

 

[Salamando]

How do I get past it?

TLR - I'm a 26 year old with a lot of baggage that I like to think I've somewhat dealt with but I'm inexperienced as fuck and lack any confidence in myself in dating and have no idea how to deal with it.

There are two books we suggest everyone read: "Models" by Mark Manson and "Modern Romance" by Aziz Ansari. Reading up is the closest you'll get to knowing what you're doing without gaining the experience. That should help with the confidence a little.

If you're still absolutely terrified about asking girls out, consider online dating. The abstraction makes it easier and rejection becomes a thing you just learn to deal with. Once you're more familiar with dating and girls and all that, asking them out in the real world becomes easier. The first time might still be a little scary, but it's alot like a swimming pool. All you can do is jump in. Your balls might retreat inside for a little bit, but at the end of the day everything'll be fine.

 

[M52B28]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=197753613&postcount=13956

That was the last substantial thing I posted.

Well, she had to cancel her plans. Time was tight for her. She had a class at 1pm and mentioned how it was going to put too much stress on time.

"Sorry for being fickle." is what she sent me after I responded. I wasn't really looking for an apology from her, but whatever.

Anyways, I'm not sure what else to say. The day before, she was basically sleep deprived from studying all night and was behaving strangely. Very loopy and spaced out staring at stuff. That made it hard to coordinate stuff with her.

I feel like I'm done with worrying about her now. I'm still attracted to her, but she doesn't know what she wants, and is sending mixed signals. It sucks because she's the only girl that was truly on my radar at my school.

My friend told me to just go for her and see how she is in the long run, especially since I told him how I felt about her.

Eh. When she told me that on Wednesday, I threw any plans out, went to SF, got fucked up, took some early morning photos in the city with my photo gear at 2-7am, got good breakfast at Eddie's by myself, caught an Uber to pick up the car, picked up my friend in the class and spent time with him.

We just got good food and talked about our fucked up lives...

Here I am now. No sleep. Drained. It was worth it to keep my mind off her by doing stuff.

I'll start looking at other girls, but this one will be hard to get off my mind, especially considering we see each other often.

A good confidence booster is my landing of two jobs. I'll have money to go out with more often. Haven't been to the gym since I really started crushing on her, so it's time to kick start that again tomorrow. Burn some weight for Spring Break.


Fuck..

 

[Zerokku]

If you're still absolutely terrified about asking girls out, consider online dating. The abstraction makes it easier and rejection becomes a thing you just learn to deal with. Once you're more familiar with dating and girls and all that, asking them out in the real world becomes easier. The first time might still be a little scary, but it's alot like a swimming pool. All you can do is jump in. Your balls might retreat inside for a little bit, but at the end of the day everything'll be fine.

It's not even the asking out part. That I wager I can do well enough (might be sweating bullets on the inside, but eh). Its mostly just everything afterwards lol

 

[Salamando]

It's not even the asking out part. That I wager I can do well enough (might be sweating bullets on the inside, but eh). Its mostly just everything afterwards lol

I'm assuming you're not talking about dating.

I was in a very similar situation. Extremely religious upbringing, emotional baggage, virgin until late 20's...Everything might seem scary now, but that fear fades fast. You start learning what various signs mean and how to properly react to them.

Other advice - Buy some condoms and learn how to put them on. If a girl invites you in, something's gonna happen. Maybe not sex, but something. When making out, don't forget to use your hands. And don't forget to kiss more than her mouth. Some girls like biting, some don't. The first time you have sex will suck. Study female anatomy, and learn how to use your fingers and mouth. First time you'll have no idea what you're looking for, but you'll learn. Plus the girl will want to help you.

 

[Mastermind Vade]

Ok ever since I was a kid I have always been shy and had trouble having a conversation just about anybody. Fast forward to 3 years ago I dated my first girl and broke out of that bubble. Then after a month we broke up because she wanted to date another guy. I was devastated and it took me like 6 months to get over her. During that time I hung out with my friends less and when I did it felt like they were just there in-name only and didn't really provide me emotional support. Now that I look back on it, it might have been because I bottled up all of my feelings and barely shared any of my feelings to any of them really. This made me think that being alone is actually better so I sort of stopped talking to them and really still only talk to one of them now. And now I am 15 in high school with the bubble I built back up again alone and fell for this girl. A guy in my class gave me her Snapchat and I started talking to her and stopped for a week then I decided that I would ask her out. I did and got turned down. I have a feeling that during the time that I did talk to her I was boring and may have been a nuisance to her. This bubble that I built back up also made me lose the conversation skills I had gained back then. I am not so much concerned about the girl as I am about breaking out of this bubble and actually being able to be more social what do you guys think I should do?

 

[gwailo]

You're in better shape than some in this thread since you have actually asked girls out.

There is really no secret to it. The more you do it, the easier it will get and getting turned down will not be such a big deal.

I would just say to continue to try to put yourself out there. Be involved in something where you have to interact with people, whether that's sports, a club at school, etc. Even a part time job like a cashier would be good. Don't just sit behind a computer or TV.

When I started out for college (which was roughly around the same time as my disaffection with my former faith), I managed to start dating my high school dream girl. The kind you see guys pine over for their entire high school years. She was the kind of girl that my entire social circle was infatuated with. And I was dating her. And it was a great relationship. The problem was is that it was essentially long-distance relationship (her living over an hour away). We only saw eachother probably a good 10 times over the ~1.5 years we were dating. But it was still incredible. I was still "deprogramming" during this period though so when we did spent time together, physically the relationship never went past kissing her a couple times (and again never making out). And then she cheated on me. With one of my best friends.

I don't open up very easily at all. I'm good enough appearing very social and carefree but when it really comes down to it I'm a really introverted and guarded person and despite that she was one of the few I had really opened up to completely and then that happened. I took it super hard, especially because of who she had cheated on me with. I grew absolutely bitter and resentful. I hated her guts, and myself even more for letting myself be open and get hurt like that. For years I just didn't have the desire/interest in dating because of it all and was alone all throughout the rest of my college years because of it.

You weren't really in a relationship. An hour is nothing. I do that every day for my commute to work. Seeing someone only 10 times over a year and a half is not dating, it's occasionally hanging out. When you combined this with the fact that you only kissed a couple of times, it is really no wonder she felt lonely and "cheated". Did she even view you as a boyfriend? I'm not totally excusing her behavior, she should have been more open with you -- but you obviously had way more invested in something that wasn't there and your anger towards her is/was really misplaced.

I say this because in future relationships, you need to be more empathetic to what's going on around you and put more effort into moving things forward. Seeing someone every month or two and pecking them on the cheek doesn't create any sort of real, long-term bond. I'm not saying that as "get out here and smash that breh" but it's one thing to take it slow, it's another to be comatose.

 

[Royal_Phalanx]

Ok ever since I was a kid I have always been shy and had trouble having a conversation just about anybody. Fast forward to 3 years ago I dated my first girl and broke out of that bubble. Then after a month we broke up because she wanted to date another guy. I was devastated and it took me like 6 months to get over her. During that time I hung out with my friends less and when I did it felt like they were just there in-name only and didn't really provide me emotional support. Now that I look back on it, it might have been because I bottled up all of my feelings and barely shared any of my feelings to any of them really. This made me think that being alone is actually better so I sort of stopped talking to them and really still only talk to one of them now. And now I am 15 in high school with the bubble I built back up again alone and fell for this girl. A guy in my class gave me her Snapchat and I started talking to her and stopped for a week then I decided that I would ask her out. I did and got turned down. I have a feeling that during the time that I did talk to her I was boring and may have been a nuisance to her. This bubble that I built back up also made me lose the conversation skills I had gained back then. I am not so much concerned about the girl as I am about breaking out of this bubble and actually being able to be more social what do you guys think I should do?

Dude you're 15, you have so much time. Worry if you're in college and you're still anti social (I've did this, don't do it).

 

[vern]

Anyone else here prefer being single but enjoy the dating process? I kinda feel like I'm a more interesting person when I'm single. I get out more, I'm more social, I pick up new hobbies. When I'm in a relationship it feels like my motivation to improve as a person just drops to zero.

Regardless, glad to be back in the dating world.

Yes, being single gives you so many amazing opportunities to meet new people and learn new things about the world and about yourself. You can pick up new knowledge and hobbies from each girl you meet, and go to new and exciting new places. Plus you never really get to the boring part of the relationship where you are netflixing on the sofa and not getting that chill. I often tell myself I'm ready for a relationship again but after a handful of dates I've met another interesting (and beautiful, right Zackie?) girl and I'm not in any mood to limit my opportunities to experience something new so I just keep on dating. Plus I'm somewhat of a nomad like Neogaf Dating Guru ZackieChan so it's hard to keep something serious when I'm always flying here and there around the world.

Yeah, it's awesome. Not in any rush for something serious. Maybe when I'm 50 😈😈😈

If I was on mobile I'd do the handshake emoji. Just pretend.

Ok ever since I was a kid I have always been shy and had trouble having a conversation just about anybody. Fast forward to 3 years ago I dated my first girl and broke out of that bubble. Then after a month we broke up because she wanted to date another guy. I was devastated and it took me like 6 months to get over her. During that time I hung out with my friends less and when I did it felt like they were just there in-name only and didn't really provide me emotional support. Now that I look back on it, it might have been because I bottled up all of my feelings and barely shared any of my feelings to any of them really. This made me think that being alone is actually better so I sort of stopped talking to them and really still only talk to one of them now. And now I am 15 in high school with the bubble I built back up again alone and fell for this girl. A guy in my class gave me her Snapchat and I started talking to her and stopped for a week then I decided that I would ask her out. I did and got turned down. I have a feeling that during the time that I did talk to her I was boring and may have been a nuisance to her. This bubble that I built back up also made me lose the conversation skills I had gained back then. I am not so much concerned about the girl as I am about breaking out of this bubble and actually being able to be more social what do you guys think I should do?

Get hobbies, join clubs at school, if any classes let you choose your seats force yourself to sit in different area with different types of people each week. Talk.

 

[ZackieChan]

Yes, being single gives you so many amazing opportunities to meet new people and learn new things about the world and about yourself. You can pick up new knowledge and hobbies from each girl you meet, and go to new and exciting new places. Plus you never really get to the boring part of the relationship where you are netflixing on the sofa and not getting that chill. I often tell myself I'm ready for a relationship again but after a handful of dates I've met another interesting (and beautiful, right Zackie?) girl and I'm not in any mood to limit my opportunities to experience something new so I just keep on dating. Plus I'm somewhat of a nomad like Neogaf Dating Guru ZackieChan so it's hard to keep something serious when I'm always flying here and there around the world.



If I was on mobile I'd do the handshake emoji. Just pretend.




Get hobbies, join clubs at school, if any classes let you choose your seats force yourself to sit in different area with different types of people each week. Talk.

They're all ugly. But mine have manly hands.

 

[ras782]

I'm not sure what to think at the moment, she sent me a huge WhatsApp message that covers the entire screen saying how she really likes me but basically is still a mess over her recent break up. I haven't replied yet, but I feel like I owe her a response for being so honest.

I guess I wouldn't mind being friends, but I feel like it would be really awkward.

I've tried both approaches cut them loose or being a close friend and neither of them worked. what worked with me is to consider them a male friend and put the least on my list. so you only reply when you have time. It worked wonder for me ! as per to the long whatsapp message and I would reply by something like cool or ok .

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Being single and being in a relationship are different. Some like the journey (dating) better than the destination (relationship). Sometimes it's a "grass is greener" situation. I don't think being in a relationship ties someone down; they're still doing things, it's just with another person. Getting to know someone can be new and exciting as well. They don't have to be motivated to become a better person because someone likes them for who they are (but it doesn't mean they stop trying).

 

[Bruce Springsteen]

Being single and being in a relationship are different. Some like the journey (dating) better than the destination (relationship). Sometimes it's a "grass is greener" situation. I don't think being in a relationship ties someone down; they're still doing things, it's just with another person. Getting to know someone can be new and exciting as well. They don't have to be motivated to become a better person because someone likes them for who they are (but it doesn't mean they stop trying).

"Dating", especially the modern definition of it, has close to no meaning, it's basically being single but repeatedly seeing someone with no strings attached. IMO, being in a "relationship", is when it gets serious


I've being dating/hanging this girl for about a month now, but I still feel single

 

[Raknar]

I've tried both approaches cut them loose or being a close friend and neither of them worked. what worked with me is to consider them a male friend and put the least on my list. so you only reply when you have time. It worked wonder for me ! as per to the long whatsapp message and I would reply by something like cool or ok .

I replied back today and just said 'thanks for being honest, I really appreciate it'. She replied back with that she thinks I'm a really good person and would really like to be friends.

I'm just still completely undecided..

 

[WolfeTone]

Yeah, it's awesome. Not in any rush for something serious. Maybe when I'm 50 😈😈😈

50 sounds ideal. By that stage hopefully I'll be wealthy enough to compensate for the inevitable decline in my physical attractiveness.

Yes, being single gives you so many amazing opportunities to meet new people and learn new things about the world and about yourself. You can pick up new knowledge and hobbies from each girl you meet, and go to new and exciting new places. Plus you never really get to the boring part of the relationship where you are netflixing on the sofa and not getting that chill. I often tell myself I'm ready for a relationship again but after a handful of dates I've met another interesting (and beautiful, right Zackie?) girl and I'm not in any mood to limit my opportunities to experience something new so I just keep on dating. Plus I'm somewhat of a nomad like Neogaf Dating Guru ZackieChan so it's hard to keep something serious when I'm always flying here and there around the world.



If I was on mobile I'd do the handshake emoji. Just pretend.




Get hobbies, join clubs at school, if any classes let you choose your seats force yourself to sit in different area with different types of people each week. Talk.

Yeah I can definitely agree with you there. Seems like every time I agree to being exclusive with someone, one week later I meet some super cute girl who is prime dating material.

I gotta get out into the world like you guys. I'm lucky to live in a pretty international city with lots of travelers but being nomadic presumably lets you avoid having to tell the girl that you're not the serious dating type? Surely it's kind of implied by the fact that you'll only be in their city for X number of months.

 

[DivineRage002]

First date tonight, she said she was going to wear a dress.

Is wearing a t-shirt still OK or should I put on something a bit more classy?

 

[Bruce Springsteen]

First date tonight, she said she was going to wear a dress.

Is wearing a t-shirt still OK or should I put on something a bit more classy?

Tee (plain) and jeans with boots

 

[DivineRage002]

Tee (plain) and jeans with boots

The plain part is important?

 

[WolfeTone]

The plain part is important?

Avoid statement/slogan tshirts and stuff like band tshirts. Keep it simple and one colour.

If I was in your shoes, I'd wear jeans but would probably wear a short sleeved shirt or a tshirt with a cardigan over it. Just a tshirt on its own might be a bit too casual depending on where you guys are going.

 

[DivineRage002]

Avoid statement/slogan tshirts and stuff like band tshirts. Keep it simple and one colour.

If I was in your shoes, I'd wear jeans but would probably wear a short sleeved shirt or a tshirt with a cardigan over it. Just a tshirt on its own might be a bit too casual depending on where you guys are going.

Bar.

 

[Arnie7]

Guys I need some opinions. I think I may be a bit insecure here but I don't know.

My GF started a new job a few moths ago. She seemed to get on fine but often times when she would get home to tell me about how her day went. However often times the same topic would keep cropping up.

There is this guy there (ex army I think) that she keeps complaining about constantly. She says he's rude to her and other workers and how she can't stand him. Okay so she's venting I get that. But she keeps bringing him up along every time I ask about her work. I'm tired of hearing about him and what he's been doing.

To make things even more confusing I found out that she recently added him on Facebook which makes no sense to me.

Okay being honest here I'm worried she might have a crush on him or something. Maybe she doesn't even know it. Why else would you keep thinking about someone you dislike so much. I dunno maybe I'm just very insecure. This is like my first major relationship.