Alright guys so I've never been in this situation before so i need opinions on what you would do.
I met this girl online, we talked for a few days at the end of January and we went on a great date (she deleted her account after the date) in early February before school started and now its been 6 weeks since the first date and i'm still waiting for her to have time for a second date.
She's taking four English courses for her major (it's her last semester) and has like 14 books to read for assignments and such but you would think that if she liked me she would make time for a second date (i totally would).
Under normal circumstances i would have totally moved on since her not picking a date for the second date tells me that she's not interested anymore but the thing is that we text/snapchat/etc like every day or two and she initiates the conversations most of the time. I asked her if she actually wanted to go out anymore and she said she really really does but she's so busy with school and work and the next time she'll be free for sure is near the ending of the semester.
Talking to her almost every day is great and i really like this girl but having to wait until the semester ends in two months seems like too much of a wait. What would you guys do?
TL;DR - How much is too long of a wait for a second date before moving on to someone else?
Do not keep engaging this girl.
She's subconsciously using you for emotional support. I say subconsciously, because she's not being directly malicious about it. At least not entirely. I mean, YOU know you like her, as clearly demonstrated by you asking her out. She KNOWS you like her, but she hopes her indirect acts of deflection (you know, the every attempt at making your relationship strictly platonic) will steer you two clear from the destination you set out.
What I mean is, she's just not that into you. You see that gut feeling you feel? "if she liked me she would make time for a second date (i totally would)" is correct. But, as is the nature in the hopeful pursuer such as yourself, this: "but the thing is that we text/snapchat/etc like every day or two and she initiates the conversations most of the time." is your ego masking what your gut already told you. She enjoying your company does not mean your are a romantic candidate.
In other words:
she wants to be left (romantically) alone, but not to be left by herself. If you can catch my drift.
MOVE ON. Talk to other girls. (Ironically enough, this act may just give you the opening you want...)
Judging from the book's info, the nice guy is someone who tries very much to help other people, so he will be accepted by them. I do that, and I don't think it's healthy and effective to get what I want. Agreeing with everyone is another characterisitic, but I don't think I do that, or I don't do that very often at least.
Are you reading No More Mr Nice Guy? That's a great book. Everyone here should read it.
Funnily enough, nice guys are not always nice. They are not very accountable. "Oh she doesn't like me because she only likes jerks!". They never ask what exactly does she see in these so called 'jerks'. Nice guy are too ego invested into their own delusion (a fabrication partly defined by society and Disney movies). It's not just hoping people like them by always agreeing, it's also more of a self-validation mechanism; it's as if other women's presence (of any kind) serves as some sort of positive affirmation of their persona.
You'll know you're no longer a Nice Guy™ when you are able to answer the simplest of all questions: "What do women really want?" correctly.
Regarding the "my ex gf is now dating my former best friend" or something like that, there's something I'd like to get off my chest.
See, the thing is that a friend introduced me to his brother and the girl he was dating during a birthday party and they were pretty cool to me, so we became friends.
Thing is, he was chill with me, but a terrible boyfriend to her and well, they ended their relationship two times in a year and a half, and I even set up a chance for him to get things straight with her.
Then back in November, she couldn't take it anymore and decided to end the relationship, I won't go into detail, but seriously, even though he was my friend he was an absolute asshole to her. Still kept contact with both of them.
Later, while he's bragging about how he's fucking "better women" than her ex and found out he cheated on her several times, she told me out of the blue to come to a Christmas party with some of her friends. I showed up in one of those photos and my friend ordered me to "stay away from her dude, that's not cool bro".
I tell him she's my friend in the same way he's mine. Plus, fuck you, no one gets to tell me who can I speak to or not. Then, some stuff happened and now we're dating.
Thing is, I was a part of a circle of friends with him and his brother, but decided to stop showing up because they though it was "uncool" to be friends with the ex.
Now we're dating. And those people hate me. And I don't give a flying fuck.
It's funny how some people go with the "bro-code" when it means "I dumped her but she still belongs to me" mentality. Fuck off with that shit.
Watched Kung Fu Panda 3 last night, had dinner, kissed a lot. I lost many friends during this bold move, but if you pretty much did anything in your power to drive her away, then challenge someone for daring to keep a relationship for the "brocode", you can go fuck yourself.
Pretty clear crucial details were left ambiguous on purpose. Wonder why. As such, my observation will be based on what was explicitly written. But I can tell your relationship is not going to last that long anyway. *shrugs*
You were willing to sacrifice connections for a girl. Huh. I do not question the acts so much as as the man behind them.
I ask, because you didn't mentioned in the post, but did you ever ask your friend if it was Ok to hang with her? I mean, is it really unheard of to befriend a guy, he breaks up with his GF, and you suddenly hang out with her and that not seen as socially iffy? Even with genders reversed that's not really unheard of; so this not BroCode specific. Anyway, fuck that guy sure, but the idea should be that your life is so abundant with girls (you know, because you are so awesome), that you do not need to "seize" the unlikely and potentially socially looked-down-upon opportunity to just to be with this one girl. If I was a betting man, I'd bet you went to this party already with your mind partly made up (using the BF's past indiscretions as a catalyst), even if you're not willing to admit it. It's how our brain woks, after all.
Anyway, you watched Kung Fu Panda 3 and made out? Boy, was that bold move worth it. I'll see you here in couple of months.
