Option 1) Don't take selfies. Bribe a friend with food and/or beer to help take pics of you. Take photos in places befitting your personality.
Option 2) Get a Gorillapod and learn how to use a timer on your phone.
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
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Option 1) Don't take selfies. Bribe a friend with food and/or beer to help take pics of you. Take photos in places befitting your personality.
Option 2) Get a Gorillapod and learn how to use a timer on your phone.
A park? A restaurant? Why must it be a selfie?
Selfie sticks are 15 bucks in America? Lol I gotta start exporting from China. They are like 10-15 rmb here ($1.60-2.xx).
Benzychenz
Member
Idk, I just feel weird asking a friend to take photos of me for tinder.
I guess I can ask my housemate, and put a nice shirt on next time we go out for lunch.
Don't ask them for Tinder. Do it so you have memories and photos of you and your friends having fun. Then put it on Tinder.
D
Deleted member 594614
Unconfirmed Member
Natural lighting (outside) will always make you look better imo.
Use the timer on your phone cam. Find a nice spot to prop it up or set it and do a million of them till its right.
I admittedly do the selfie for things but I never look at the camera. Seems like they come out better that way. Kinda looking off in the distance and what not lol
Use the timer on your phone cam. Find a nice spot to prop it up or set it and do a million of them till its right.
I admittedly do the selfie for things but I never look at the camera. Seems like they come out better that way. Kinda looking off in the distance and what not lol
That compromise sounds pretty reasonable. If either of you feel uncomfortable about any aspect of the situation, you have to make that clear, and you have to step away from it. It's not OK to be pushed into a lifelong decision after you've been together less than a year (IMO, in 95% of cases).
Sounds like you've struck a good approach, but this part...
Why fabricate a version of yourself to match someone else? Why basically straight up lie about yourself? Try and make the connection based on who you actually are, in reality.
I just don't get this shit. I'm lucky, though; never had to use a dating website.
D
Deleted member 594614
Unconfirmed Member
Admittedly, I wasnt looking for the next wife, I just wanted to get out and have fun.
Top that off I learned that most women BS their profiles anyway also.
That "social drinker" had more then enough "Im at home drinking wine alone with my cats!" nights and that blonde who likes cooking could barely make a grilled cheese.
Yeah its dating sites, but in reality, its just a meat market, a showroom, a dealership full of used cars depreciating in value every day.
To the topic of profile/selfies again..
Find a club/bar in the city that throws parties. The promoters will pay photog's to walk around club/bar and snap photos. Find out the Photog's FB page. The pics will go up on his/her FB usually 3 days after the event and you'll look AMAZING.
If your in the Philly area try Kung-Fu Necktie, St. Lazerus, and The Barabary to start. They will usually run parties like "Make Out Club" or "The Bounce" which are themed nights thrown by promoters every week. Dont be intimidated eitheir, just go! Theyre like 10 bucks to get in. The Photog FB site is Fame Lust. These guys will make you look amazing.
Fair play man. Casual sex and mass-dating isn't my bag, I'm a serial monogamous type, so hey. You do your thing!
Although I have to say,
Yeesh
Esp. the 'depreciating' part
Royal_Phalanx
Member
I'm going for a drink with a girl from OkCupid next week. I hope this goes well.
n64coder
Member
What's wrong with letting people know this? It's better to tell people that you're looking for a girlfriend. Many of them will try to fix you up with someone if they like you. I had a bunch of opportunities that were the result of my friends trying to fix me up. Most people genuinely want to help others whether it's dating or a job search.
Gotdatmoney
Member
You legit sound angry at woman. Hell, you sound like you don't even value people as people. Used cars depreciating in value everyday? You fucking serious? What a garbage view to hold.
Solideliquid
Member
Do you mean take a step away and re-think the plans or step away and break up?
Lionheart1827
Member
Do you have a regular camera? Get a tripod.
If not, set your phone camera to a timer shot and prop it up somewhere instead of taking selfie. Or get somebody you know to do it.
Hell when I was still single and on these sites, I brought my camera and tripod out and took some shots of me playing my guitar and looking off to the side at an invisible person. (lol). I also had a Jaws t shirt on. I didn't really have any good photos of myself except for the ones with my ex, and uploading a pic with another girl on it is not a good look.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Where do you live Benzy?
If you're in London, come hang out sometime? We'll go something fun and take some snaps. Namco Funscape is pretty fun...
If you're in London, come hang out sometime? We'll go something fun and take some snaps. Namco Funscape is pretty fun...
Miles Quaritch
Member
My friend has a picture of him and a friend hugging and he doesn't have any problems.
Why do people think it's some big no-no to have pics of yourself with another woman? Lots of women have pics with guys...
Lionheart1827
Member
Well of course some women wont care, but some will. Why add that to the equation, unless its like your mom or your grandma? Sure you could argue you wouldn't want to date somebody picky like this, but if you're not getting consistent results on these sites, you have to maximize your chances any way you can.
As for women's profiles with guys, the women to male ratio is skewed on these sites, girls can get away with a lot more than guys would.
Benzychenz
Member
danielg1138
Neo Member
Hey guys, I have sort of an odd question. Next week I'm going on a date (yay!) with a girl I have been friends with for a really long time. It's the first time we've tried this and we are both approaching it as a very casual let's-have-fun sort of situation (though I would certainly be open to anything that might develop from it), so the stakes are low. However, I really want it to feel different from all of the times in the past where we have hung out as friends.
So what are some ways I can do that? We are doing dinner and a cool comedy show. I have vague ideas about steering the conversation to more personal types of things that we haven't talked about before, but it is difficult since we have been friends for a good long while.
So what are some ways I can do that? We are doing dinner and a cool comedy show. I have vague ideas about steering the conversation to more personal types of things that we haven't talked about before, but it is difficult since we have been friends for a good long while.
A comedy show isn't good for a date because you won't be able to talk to each other.
Did you actually say "date" to her, or is she taking this as just hanging out and you are trying to steer it in that direction?
If she knows it's a date, just let things flow naturally. If you're trying to push things too much ("so, hey, how do you feel about having kids?") it's gonna get awkward and might affect the friendship.
Did you actually say "date" to her, or is she taking this as just hanging out and you are trying to steer it in that direction?
If she knows it's a date, just let things flow naturally. If you're trying to push things too much ("so, hey, how do you feel about having kids?") it's gonna get awkward and might affect the friendship.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Fair reasons, but I still think having pics of yourself with another woman is a good way to weed out those who have jealousy/self esteem issues. Better to find out at the beginning than it blow up after you're invested with someone...
I live in Australia
Though I'll actually be in London for 10 days in August...
Drop me a PM when you're in London, we'll go hang out. In the meantime (as you can't wait three months before you upload some decent pics), don't be embarrassed to ask a friend to take some snaps.
danielg1138
Neo Member
I agree with your point about the comedy show, but it is something we are both excited about doing, and I figured that amount of genuine engagement was worth less talking. We can talk at dinner.
And yep, I most certainly used the word "date" and she definitely knows that is what it is. It would be a bit pathetic not to use the word, wouldn't it?
Good call on keeping it natural. I tend to think that's how it should be as well, but I am just worried that it won't feel any different from all of the other times we have hung out, and I feel like a date should have a different feel to it.
You can't really force romantic chemistry. It's there or it's not. It's not like the movies where you can make some grand gesture and all of a sudden the person realizes she loves you.
Just offhand, I would say maybe try initiating physical contact. If she is fine with you being more than a friend, she would be fine with you holding her hand, putting your arm around her, etc. Start the date with a hug/kiss (on the cheek if you're not feeling so bold).
It's a common mistake on this thread, guys ask women to "hang out" or "meet up" and then don't get why they get friend zoned.
Just offhand, I would say maybe try initiating physical contact. If she is fine with you being more than a friend, she would be fine with you holding her hand, putting your arm around her, etc. Start the date with a hug/kiss (on the cheek if you're not feeling so bold).
And yep, I most certainly used the word "date" and she definitely knows that is what it is. It would be a bit pathetic not to use the word, wouldn't it?
It's a common mistake on this thread, guys ask women to "hang out" or "meet up" and then don't get why they get friend zoned.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Do something fun. Take a selfie while there. Done.
So I posted in here a while back about getting back into the dating game after a five year break. So up until this weekend nothing had really happened on that front but this weekend things changed.
It was my work mates birthday night out and the other guys from work had bailed last minute so it ended up being only me going from work. I'm a fairly outgoing guy so I figure I'll still go since it would be more fun that staying in and watching Eurovision.
Well anyways one of my mates friends ends up being this lovely girl who I seem to have quite a lot in common with, she gives her phone number and we end up dancing together and having a really fun night.
Up until that point I was still quite on the fence on meeting someone new, it's been so long now I'm wasn't even sure I can get back into the dating game at this point.
After having such a good time with her (we are still texting but she takes a long time to reply) I feel it's time to start taking this seriously.
OKCupid has gotten me nowhere and Tinder isn't really working so far, I'm thinking of trying speed dating but is this an actual thing? I've never met anyone in real life who been on one (I realise they go on several). Any other websites/suggestions would be appreciated!
TLDR: I had a good night with a girl and want take this seriously. Where can I meet new people easily?
It was my work mates birthday night out and the other guys from work had bailed last minute so it ended up being only me going from work. I'm a fairly outgoing guy so I figure I'll still go since it would be more fun that staying in and watching Eurovision.
Well anyways one of my mates friends ends up being this lovely girl who I seem to have quite a lot in common with, she gives her phone number and we end up dancing together and having a really fun night.
Up until that point I was still quite on the fence on meeting someone new, it's been so long now I'm wasn't even sure I can get back into the dating game at this point.
After having such a good time with her (we are still texting but she takes a long time to reply) I feel it's time to start taking this seriously.
OKCupid has gotten me nowhere and Tinder isn't really working so far, I'm thinking of trying speed dating but is this an actual thing? I've never met anyone in real life who been on one (I realise they go on several). Any other websites/suggestions would be appreciated!
TLDR: I had a good night with a girl and want take this seriously. Where can I meet new people easily?
Clay Davis
Member
hi gaf, long time lurker. I need some feedback on my profile be brutal & honest
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/bunsonatrain?cf=profile
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/bunsonatrain?cf=profile
Miles Quaritch
Member
Try Bumble. Seems to be good. Coffee Meet Bagel too? I turned a friend onto Tantan some weeks ago, he's had quite a lot of success in getting dates. They haven't really gone anywhere so far as I know, but he's happy with the level of replies and dates he's getting last time I spoke to him.
You'll need very good pics on there though.
I don't feel comfortable posting pictures here. I'll take the other advice of showing my friends my profiles and see what they think. I haven't tried that. And based on how other peoples pictures are being critique I think I know what I did wrong.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Good luck. Don't take it too personally if you don't get many replies. It'll be easy to get discouraged too, but stick with it and you'll do fine.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
Yeah you've got to message SOOOO many before you get a genuine response going.
Miles Quaritch
Member
It's asking me to log in when I click on your pics? Just from the one I can see, I'd change it. Take a picture outside or something. The bulk of your profile seems okay. Maybe too much detail, you might want to keep some info back so you have something to talk about when you message people.
And when did this partner in crime shit become so popular? It's not funny or witty. I did chuckle at the Marge to my Homer though.
Yup. It's the numbers game but it'll happen eventually. Patience is key.
Pics: You have two that are near identical. Same room, same angle, same facial expression...you just changed button-down shirts and coats. Neither pic is terribly exciting to begin with. A selfie in a place with a somewhat interesting background would work much better. The third pic...with how intimately its framed, its too easy to think that "friend" is an ex.
If you replace the "www." with "m.", it goes to their mobile site, and there's no login restriction there.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Miles Quaritch
Member
Okay, what the fuck at that third pic. That's an ex right? You're bullshitting with that good friend nonsense. Come on bro. If it's a legit good friend pic, well I guess that's fine, but as Sala said, it's too easy to misinterpret it as a pic of you with an ex.
Although, to be fair, I have taken similar pics with good friends. Both male and female. So I don't know.
And have to agree with Sala again. Your pics aren't great. You're somewhat handsome, take better pics, preferably outside or something. Shit. That flowery wallpaper. You're killing me. Where did you take the pic? Please don't say your mum's or sisters room or some shit.
Although, to be fair, I have taken similar pics with good friends. Both male and female. So I don't know.
And have to agree with Sala again. Your pics aren't great. You're somewhat handsome, take better pics, preferably outside or something. Shit. That flowery wallpaper. You're killing me. Where did you take the pic? Please don't say your mum's or sisters room or some shit.
Clay Davis
Member
I don't like taking pictures of myself outside but I'll try. thank you for your honest advice, I'll try to do better. the last picture is a friend & we are very close. should I remove it?
Miles Quaritch
Member
Why?
Gotta get over the whole don't like taking pics bit (in any fashion) if you want something suitable for a dating site. Bathroom and bedroom pics only go so far.
You aren't the first person (in the last 24 hours even) to have an aversion to public photo taking. It's something you just need to get over. Online dating is all about 'dem pics.
If someone looks at pic and instantly thinks you two used to be a couple, you should remove it. A pic with a good female friend can be used, but one where it's tightly framed around your faces as she leans her head on your shoulder and you lean your head on hers? Without reading the text, I just assumed "ex". And you shouldn't assume people will read the text.
Clay Davis
Member
I will try tomorrow, can you check them again after I do?
can you give suggestions on the text in my profile? are there any changes I should make?
Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
Which state?I live in Australia
Though I'll actually be in London for 10 days in August...
Benzychenz
Member
I was out on Saturday night with friends and while standing at the bar in a nightclub I seen a girl I knew from high school, she kept looking at me but I honestly made nothing of it because I've not been dating anybody for about 4 years now. She approached me and we spoke a little, it was late so she and her friend called a taxi and we ended up at my place, I was drunk as hell so I have little memory of what happened at my house but I woke up the next morning with her next to me in bed.
Going to meet her again in mid June.
Going to meet her again in mid June.
Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
Convenient. Come to Melbourne tonight and I'll take photos for you
or tomorrow. I'm here til Sunday 
ZackieChan
Member
Congratsonthesex.gif?
K so I went on a second date with the girl I talked about earlier. Had hot chocolate, went for a walk along the waterfront, then drove around for awhile. There wasn't
My question is, she waited around in my truck when I was dropping her off for like an extra 30-40 min. I'm thinking I should have tried to kiss her, but I'm in an F150 and there is a large center console between us so I couldn't figure out how to do it without her leaning in significantly.
Edit: But it seems that doesn't matter since, while typing this she texted me saying she was going to invite me in but was worried she was too tired.
My question is, she waited around in my truck when I was dropping her off for like an extra 30-40 min. I'm thinking I should have tried to kiss her, but I'm in an F150 and there is a large center console between us so I couldn't figure out how to do it without her leaning in significantly.
Edit: But it seems that doesn't matter since, while typing this she texted me saying she was going to invite me in but was worried she was too tired.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I'm in a weird predicament:
Met a girl online. She's pretty. Nice. Looking for a long-term relationship. We talk for a few days, meet for coffee, hang out for an hour, talk a bit more, and then I jet off overseas for two weeks and we don't talk at all.
I fly back in this morning and I already have a text waiting from her about how my trip went, and we continued talking a bit today.
This is very unusual for me. Either I've done something incredibly right, or she has very poor taste.
Met a girl online. She's pretty. Nice. Looking for a long-term relationship. We talk for a few days, meet for coffee, hang out for an hour, talk a bit more, and then I jet off overseas for two weeks and we don't talk at all.
I fly back in this morning and I already have a text waiting from her about how my trip went, and we continued talking a bit today.
This is very unusual for me. Either I've done something incredibly right, or she has very poor taste.
Etrian Oddity
Member
I hate guys like you. SMH, literally fumbling the poonany away when it's being handed on a platter, and I can't get any attention from women at all.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
ZackieChan
Member
How is this either 1) weird or 2) a predicament?
Also, figure out how to communicate without text messages if you leave the country a lot. Line, WeChat, WhatsApp, etc. - all use Internet rather than texts. Far superior!
oh i know i should have, but I think its ok. This was literally the first time I've ever had a second date and its my third date ever, so i know I fucked up but I'm an inexperienced virgin and now I 100% know better.
She isnt in town this weekend, so hopefully next week (early).
She isnt in town this weekend, so hopefully next week (early).
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