Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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electricshake said:
OKC worked for me but it took a really long time (2+ years, on and off). Didn't really get into Tinder and didn't try the others.

Edit: wait am I the Glaswegian you were talking about? I can't keep track of what I post anymore.
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You were indeed!


I still have a good story of a woman on OKC saying she was busy for an entire month, and it wasn't a holiday/trip. It brings a smile to my face.
 
Recently I've been feeling a lot of jealousy around my girlfriend. It's triggered by things like her hanging out with her friends or even her moving into her new apartment with friends. I'm jealous that she's having fun with her friends while I'm not there. I'm jealous that she is living in a new apartment with her friends and I'm still living at home with my parents.

I completely understand that we both have a life to live outside of our relationship but why is it so difficult for me to accept that? I hate being the jealous boyfriend and having these kinds of thoughts. I told her how I felt last night and she was very understanding. I told her that there is nothing she can do nor is there anything I want her to do. This is something that I need to work on. I told her that my jealousy doesn't come with any expectations of how she should live her life.

I understand that my jealousy is irrational and immature but I just can't seem to get it out of me. I try to stay busy but often it ends up me being distracted by thinking about what she might be doing. Has anyone experienced something similar? If so, how did you go through it?
 
iAmMaximus said:
Recently I've been feeling a lot of jealousy around my girlfriend. It's triggered by things like her hanging out with her friends or even her moving into her new apartment with friends. I'm jealous that she's having fun with her friends while I'm not there. I'm jealous that she is living in a new apartment with her friends and I'm still living at home with my parents.

I completely understand that we both have a life to live outside of our relationship but why is it so difficult for me to accept that? I hate being the jealous boyfriend and having these kinds of thoughts. I told her how I felt last night and she was very understanding. I told her that there is nothing she can do nor is there anything I want her to do. This is something that I need to work on. I told her that my jealousy doesn't come with any expectations of how she should live her life.

I understand that my jealousy is irrational and immature but I just can't seem to get it out of me. I try to stay busy but often it ends up me being distracted by thinking about what she might be doing. Has anyone experienced something similar? If so, how did you go through it?
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I've been on the other side of it and it's really horrible to be made to feel horrid for just living your life.

I used to be super jealous but then my girlfriend was totally cheating on me so does that count?
 
iAmMaximus said:
Recently I've been feeling a lot of jealousy around my girlfriend. It's triggered by things like her hanging out with her friends or even her moving into her new apartment with friends. I'm jealous that she's having fun with her friends while I'm not there. I'm jealous that she is living in a new apartment with her friends and I'm still living at home with my parents.

I completely understand that we both have a life to live outside of our relationship but why is it so difficult for me to accept that? I hate being the jealous boyfriend and having these kinds of thoughts. I told her how I felt last night and she was very understanding. I told her that there is nothing she can do nor is there anything I want her to do. This is something that I need to work on. I told her that my jealousy doesn't come with any expectations of how she should live her life.

I understand that my jealousy is irrational and immature but I just can't seem to get it out of me. I try to stay busy but often it ends up me being distracted by thinking about what she might be doing. Has anyone experienced something similar? If so, how did you go through it?
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I've been on the other side of it and it's terrible, definitely led to a couple of break ups. Some time apart is healthy and believe me a lot of guys would love to be in your situation instead of having to do everything with their SO attached at the hip.

It seems like you are pretty clingy. Do you have friends outside of your girlfriend? What are you doing to get out of your parents house? Instead of being mopey and wrongly blaming your girlfriend for your bad mood, be more proactive and work on yourself. You sound like some of the people in this thread that expect a SO to fix all of their problems.
 
peanutbutterlatte said:
Jesus the girls on Bumble are intimidatingly attractive. No way I'm getting a match on there.
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Absolutely not true. I have seen the hottest girls with some of the dorkiest, goofiest guys ever (not saying you are). After everything I've seen, I believe any guy can get a gorgeous girl. Just gotta find an awesome one, which is the hard part. And hey, sometimes the shitty ones that are hot can still be had, even if they're not exactly Ms. Personality.
 
No Love said:
Absolutely not true. I have seen the hottest girls with some of the dorkiest, goofiest guys ever (not saying you are). After everything I've seen, I believe any guy can get a gorgeous girl. Just gotta find an awesome one, which is the hard part. And hey, sometimes the shitty ones that are hot can still be had, even if they're not exactly Ms. Personality.
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No no of course not

giphy.gif
 
I have been on a dating uptick recently. After starting to get pretty bummed about dating in general I had a really fun date last Saturday. Once she has some free time we are gonna meet up again.

I have a date tonight with someone I originally met when I was 17 (28 now). I always had a feeling she dug me, so when we matched on tinder I just asked her if she wanted to have a drink straight away. She was always cool the few times we talked before, so I hope things go well tonight.

Dating is a lot more fun when people aren't flaking on you.

peanutbutterlatte said:
Jesus the girls on Bumble are intimidatingly attractive. No way I'm getting a match on there.
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I have the worst luck with bumble. It seems like much more a of mainstream crowd or something. I don't work for those girls at all apparently. I bet I would do better if I made myself look like a frat kid.
 
Yeah it sucks, but at least this is happening before you actually meet in person or make any plans (I hope). A lot of my convos end up fading away/girls stop replying while planning a meet, but I've only had one girl outright cancel in the last 4 or so months since moving to my current city.

And the rest, well, if they do stupid and rude crap like not replying in the middle of making plans, it's a dodged bullet as far as I'm concerned.
 
So went out for a second time with this girl I know from my social circle, and I think she just wants to keep it platonic and just be friends. Eh, no hard feelings, she's cool so it's not like it's a bad thing.

On a completely different personal subject, I'm not sure if trying to hit on girls who speak little English (and you have limited mastery of their language) is ballsy or stupid. :P
it's me who's trying
 
im finally out of the game!

i need so much sleep, but all my accounts and apps are deleted. 3 decent prospects and great friends. I need a break.

Its been nice being able to come home from work and just cook for myself or a friend and relax.

see you handsome bastards in the future.
 
So I've been thinking of that Polish girl from last Saturday and I was gonna maybe message her tomorrow to see if she wants to meet again before she goes to the US Sunday. Anyone have thoughts on this? Should I leave it up to her? And what would I say like ''You're probably busy but do you want to do something before you go?'' That's kinda wimpy is it? If she says no she says no so i should just ask right? So many questions.

Really though that night was my peak of dating I think. Now I just have to deal with the downward spiral (that's my famous optimism)
 
So this girl I used to see, we dated for about a month, we're just friends now and enjoy each other's company

Wonder how long this will last as I do enjoy her a human being, I even talk to her now about other girls just to make it clear that it's over in that regards between us
 
Bruce Springsteen said:
So this girl I used to see, we dated for about a month, we're just friends now and enjoy each other's company

Wonder how long this will last as I do enjoy her a human being, I even talk to her now about other girls just to make it clear that it's over in that regards between us
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What's her behaviour like when you talk about other women?

The whole dated but became friends can work but sometimes you have to keep a very close eye on the behaviour of the other. They might just be going along with being friends while secretly hoping you'll eventually see them as more. Those...those never end well.

Lots of accusations of you using them, leading them on, not respecting them etc .
 
Miles Quaritch said:
What's her behaviour like when you talk about other women?

The whole dated but became friends can work but sometimes you have to keep a very close eye on the behaviour of the other. They might just be going along with being friends while secretly hoping you'll eventually see them as more. Those...those never end well.

Lots of accusations of you using them, leading them on, not respecting them etc .
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I only brought up other girls the last time we met, she seemed cool with it, I even told her she should jump back on Tinder but she said she wasn't ready for that. It seemed totally cool, unless I'm just missing every sign
 
Dated but became friends doesn't generally work, but I was friends with someone, dated, and she moved away so we're just friends again now. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a thing for her, and wouldn't be hoping something would spark should she ever be local again.
 
So quick question. After my 3rd date on Monday we kissed, as I mentioned in my last post, since then our communication has been a lot less frequent outside of work hours. We're still texting daily, and had potentially set up a date for tonight, but she backed out (twice actually). The biggest thing is that she is taking a lot longer to respond. She is an extremely busy person, but it just appears there was a dramatic shift since our last date. Am I over thinking this?

I figure if she cancels again, that should be it right?
 
torontoml said:
So quick question. After my 3rd date on Monday we kissed, as I mentioned in my last post, since then our communication has been a lot less frequent outside of work hours. We're still texting daily, and had potentially set up a date for tonight, but she backed out (twice actually). The biggest thing is that she is taking a lot longer to respond. She is an extremely busy person, but it just appears there was a dramatic shift since our last date. Am I over thinking this?

I figure if she cancels again, that should be it right?
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If she's suddenly taking a lot longer to respond, bails on dates, she's starting to distance. If there is one thing I learned, if someone wants to see you, unless there is an emergency, they will make time for you

Best of luck
 
torontoml said:
Thanks, thats what it feels like. How should it be brought up, I hate when women do the "ghosting" shit and would prefer not to do that.
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The only way to "deal with it" is move on yourself, addressing it is just awkward as you'd be forcing something that isn't there

Ghosting is bullshit and rude, it's a way to shut someone down while still keeping them as a backup. If I feel I'm being ghosted even slightly I usually stop communicating entirely till they reach out again and take it from there
 
I would mirror her and see how she reacts. If she's acting disinterested, you should as well. Id still make plans, but have proper perspective and be ready for flaking. Keep swiping/messaging others girls anyway. You've only been on 3 dates.
 
What I mean though is even though it feels like she is distancing herself we are still communicating, so how do I make it known that I'm not really enjoying the sporadic texting without possibly ending it if I am misreading what is going on.

Edit: Ok, so just mirror her, I'll give it a try see how it goes.
 
Zeus The Dino said:
Never Give Up Hope
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"You know he's the one when you fit like a puzzle piece."

*~*~*~*

Eh, even having dinner with one of the bros and popping some beers can't really distract me from my unhappiness being single/involuntarily celibate. Maybe I'll do double gym sessions these next few days, I've got some time off work and I need to stay preoccupied.
 
Etrian Oddity said:
"You know he's the one when you fit like a puzzle piece."

*~*~*~*

Eh, even having dinner with one of the bros and popping some beers can't really distract me from my unhappiness being single/involuntarily celibate. Maybe I'll do double gym sessions these next few days, I've got some time off work and I need to stay preoccupied.
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I think it was 3-4 years ago I was tired of hanging out with my guy friends
 
So I noticed that when I'm on Tinder, I'll match with this girl and like a min later she'll unmatch (we've matched like multiple times..because I've added Tinder on multiple occasions) It's the same damn girl everytime.

I think she's trolling or just swipes right on everyone.

Random rabbling from me but just something I notice.

The thing that sucks is I kinda like her lol.
 
Etrian Oddity said:
"You know he's the one when you fit like a puzzle piece."

*~*~*~*

Eh, even having dinner with one of the bros and popping some beers can't really distract me from my unhappiness being single/involuntarily celibate. Maybe I'll do double gym sessions these next few days, I've got some time off work and I need to stay preoccupied.
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Especially when your guy friends are all getting dates on the regular. I know what you mean. I'm going to join the gym next week so hopefully that will get my focus off girls.

Just took some new pictures/updated my profile. Messaged 5 promising girls last night. I hate how it's a routine this online dating lark.
 
Blitzrules240 said:
So I noticed that when I'm on Tinder, I'll match with this girl and like a min later she'll unmatch (we've matched like multiple times..because I've added Tinder on multiple occasions) It's the same damn girl everytime.

I think she's trolling or just swipes right on everyone.

Random rabbling from me but just something I notice.

The thing that sucks is I kinda like her lol.
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I am someone who unmatches as soon as I get a match. Mostly because I just want the validation of having a match after giving up on actually getting a date out of tinder.
So maybe she is doing it just for the validation too?
 
You guys got any tips for in-person conversation starters? I'm usually pretty good at keeping a conversation flowing once it actually starts it's just the beginning I struggle with.
 
Bruce Springsteen said:
The only way to "deal with it" is move on yourself, addressing it is just awkward as you'd be forcing something that isn't there

Ghosting is bullshit and rude, it's a way to shut someone down while still keeping them as a backup. If I feel I'm being ghosted even slightly I usually stop communicating entirely till they reach out again and take it from there
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Why even bother talking to someone who gets back in touch after they ghosted you? I learned this the hard way. I stupidly responded only to be ghosted again a few weeks later and for it to happen yet again after a couple of months. At that point I said fuck it all and changed my number.

I imagine she's still probably messaging my old number thinking I'll respond...she was the worst case of attention seeking I've ever come across. Lots of I hate my life, I'm so ugly, my body is hideous, etc.

ZackieChan said:
I would mirror her and see how she reacts. If she's acting disinterested, you should as well. Id still make plans, but have proper perspective and be ready for flaking. Keep swiping/messaging others girls anyway. You've only been on 3 dates.
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Yup. Good advice.

And texting daily. Don't do that. You're not in a relationship, so why keep in touch in daily?
 
Bruce Springsteen said:
I think it was 3-4 years ago I was tired of hanging out with my guy friends
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Bruce Springsteen said:
I still do hang out with my guy friends but it's on occasion now, sometimes even prefer just chilling solo if I'm not feeling the prospective company for the night. That's just me getting older though I suppose
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Leeness said:
Solo is always the better option.
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Really don't get this. Sure, I like to be alone, and I am, most of the time. But I still love hanging out with my friends. The older I get, the more I appreciate them and the more stuff I want to do with them.

A lot of them are rarely there anymore, though. Having a GF, settling down, buying a house, getting married, trying to have kids... I guess those are the guys that don't feel the need to hang out anymore, huh?
 
It's probably not that they don't feel the need, it's more that you just don't have the time or energy, especially once kids enter the picture. It's why when I see single people (especially college age kids) saying "I don't have the time" or "I'm too busy" to date is hilarious to me.

Thanks, thats what it feels like. How should it be brought up, I hate when women do the "ghosting" shit and would prefer not to do that.
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Ugh, don't bother at all with this sort of mentaility. If someone is ghosting you, they're not worth your time or effort. Do you think you will change her behavior with a flowery text? Are you looking for closure? Life isn't a rom-com; just move on. You've only been on three dates. Don't be a drama queen for validation.
 
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