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[flkraven]

That girls name? Albert Einstein.

lol I just about fucking died at work

 

[Jack The Nipper]

Well don't get caught up so much on the term used as a potential insult via the 3 times name calling. The reaction to refusal for sex is by far the biggest red flag. No one should be put down for not feeling like putting out. That is a pretty serious line to cross even as a "joke".

That line being the one you'd expect to see a shit ton of GAFers go apeshit over if the genders were switched around. As pointed out by a mod now among many other members. Such a guy probably being called a sexist and/or rapist in the making by now. Understandably as well to some degree as insulting people around sex refusal or coercing by pressure are not slopes most civilised or respectable people ever consider going down just to get their orgasm.

To me out of all of it there isn't an issue with the name calling. I see this girl as someone who isn't quite caring basically and the op is just sticking with her perhaps.

I don't think most serious relationships are out of control with just the word bitch and it's of course took different by many.


There is much more wrong here than we can see on a board imo

 

[The Albatross]

Op, better watch out when you dump her... zakalwe is ready to pounce.

 

[Juke Joint Jezebel]

I always believe in the old adage "In vino veritas" which translates to "In Wine, The Truth" which suggest a person heavily under the influence of alcohol is more likely to speak their real thoughts about people and subjects. As someone who's dated men who become pretty dickish when drunk and hell, even a few women, it's a big red warning sign the vast majority of the time, and after ignoring it the first few times, I've found the persons true behaviour comes out after dating for a while. That's why I never accept the whole "I was drunk" excuse.

 

[jaekeem]

I find posts like this much more worrying. Life can be damaging sometimes, and sometimes good people do really shitty things. Sometimes they are a one off, and sometimes they don't indicate how a person will behave in future.

You have absolutely no way of knowing which type this is unless you communicate and make an educated judgement. Simply making a generalised assumption is not the way to handle it.

If this behaviour repeats, then I totally understand calling it. If the person shows no desire to amend, then I totally understand calling it. If OP still feels uncertain despite her responses being positive, then I totally understand calling it.

What I don't understand is this absolute righteousness that insinuates people need to be perfect or they're not worth it.

Life doesn't work that way.

Your optimism is nice, but there are a lot of good guys and gals out there worth dating that will never, ever stoop to the level of publicly insulting their significant others and berating them for not wanting to fuck, even when they're really drunk.

It's not about absolute righteousness. It's about "I can do better than this. It's clear that this person is at least in some way not who I thought they were. I don't want to waste my time trying to change them, when I could just go looking for someone else that would make me happier".

I always believe in the old adage "In vino veritas" which translates to "In Wine, The Truth" which suggest a person heavily under the influence of alcohol is more likely to speak their real thoughts about people and subjects. As someone who's dated men who become pretty dickish when drunk and hell, even a few women, it's a big red warning sign the vast majority of the time, and after ignoring it the first few times, I've found the persons true behaviour comes out after dating for a while. That's why I never accept the whole "I was drunk" excuse.

As someone that's ruined a few friendships while drunk, you're right. Every time I ever said something uncouth, rude, or stupid while drunk it was always the result of some repressed problem, annoyance, or frustration that I had. It took me a long time to recognize that reality, but I'm really glad I did. I actively try to avoid getting shitfaced now if I know there's some inner turmoil going on. It's way too selfish to risk blacking out and putting friends and loved ones through my bullshit pouring out only because I'm drunk.

 

[ZeroMaverick]

If your girlfriend is being abusive 6 weeks in, ditch her and don't look back.

I agree. All that spells is future doom. She seems to have some issues that 6 weeks of a relationship do not obligate you to deal with.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I find posts like this much more worrying. Life can be damaging sometimes, and sometimes good people do really shitty things. Sometimes they are a one off, and sometimes they don't indicate how a person will behave in future.

You have absolutely no way of knowing which type this is unless you communicate and make an educated judgement. Simply making a generalised assumption is not the way to handle it.

If this behaviour repeats, then I totally understand calling it. If the person shows no desire to amend, then I totally understand calling it. If OP still feels uncertain despite her responses being positive, then I totally understand calling it.

What I don't understand is this absolute righteousness that insinuates people need to be perfect or they're not worth it.

Life doesn't work that way.

I find people who are too willing to justify the behaviour of abusers because they had a hard or damaging life considerably more troubling.

 

[Busty]

Normal service will be resumed shortly.

 

[lifa-cobex]

To put a spin on it..

You call her a bitch all night in front of her friends.
You go into the bathroom and demand you fuck her.
She doesn't let you so you call her to go fuck herself.

Do you think she should accept your apology?

I've been with girls who couldn't handle drink.
The more comfortable they got around me, the worse it got.

 

[flkraven]

I find posts like this much more worrying. Life can be damaging sometimes, and sometimes good people do really shitty things. Sometimes they are a one off, and sometimes they don't indicate how a person will behave in future.

You have absolutely no way of knowing which type this is unless you communicate and make an educated judgement. Simply making a generalised assumption is not the way to handle it.

If this behaviour repeats, then I totally understand calling it. If the person shows no desire to amend, then I totally understand calling it. If OP still feels uncertain despite her responses being positive, then I totally understand calling it.

What I don't understand is this absolute righteousness that insinuates people need to be perfect or they're not worth it.

Life doesn't work that way.



Arbitrary. Too many factors to generalise.

but why though? Why not just drop this scum bag and get a new girlfriend from the millions that are available? It's not like they are married, so he has no incentive to 'stick it through'.

 

[Zakalwe]

Your optimism is nice, but there are a lot of good guys and gals out there worth dating that will never, ever stoop to the level of publicly insulting their significant others and berating them for not wanting to fuck, even when they're really drunk.

It's not about absolute righteousness. It's about "I can do better than this. It's clear that this person is at least in some way not who I thought they were. I don't want to waste my time trying to change them, when I could just go looking for someone else that would make me happier".

And your cynicism makes me sad.

I understand though, as I said. I think I probably have a higher tolerance for this kind of abuse than most, though, and I think being able to give second chances (again, within reason) is an important character trait.

Op, better watch out when you dump her... zakalwe is ready to pounce.

I'm actually considering online dating (ended a relationship six months ago and feeling ready for it).

At least I'd have some idea of what I'm getting myself into here...

but why though? Why not just drop this scum bag and get a new girlfriend from the millions that are available? It's not like they are married, so he has no incentive to 'stick it through'.

....because I believe good people can do shitty things, and won't write someone off as a scum-bag after a single incident.

 

[ViewtifulJC]

I thought that the 'BR' in the thread title stood for Blu Ray somehow implying that the OP's girlfriend was a blurry 480i and when she then became visible in startlingly crisp and clear 1080p the OP couldn't handle it and walked out on her.






.
.
.
.

I prefer my version of events.

I thought it meant Banana Republic so I'm a little disappointed really

 

[Zakalwe]

I find people who are too willing to justify the behaviour of abusers because they had a hard or damaging life considerably more troubling.

You're blowing this incident out of proportion, especially as you have no way to tell if it's a trait or some kind of one-off reaction.

And one-off reactions do exist, you must be aware of this.

If it's repeated behaviour, then I understand not wanting to engage with it.

As someone that's ruined a few friendships while drunk, you're right. Every time I ever said something uncouth, rude, or stupid while drunk it was always the result of some repressed problem, annoyance, or frustration that I had. It took me a long time to recognize that reality, but I'm really glad I did. I actively try to avoid getting shitfaced now if I know there's some inner turmoil going on. It's way too selfish to risk blacking out and putting friends and loved ones through my bullshit pouring out only because I'm drunk.

This is just great advice for anyone who drinks to the point of getting drunk.

The thing is, you realised it was shitty and you made amends. I'd have thought you'd be more open to giving others the same chance.

 

[Finale Fireworker]

I find posts like this much more worrying. Life can be damaging sometimes, and sometimes good people do really shitty things. Sometimes they are a one off, and sometimes they don't indicate how a person will behave in future.

You have absolutely no way of knowing which type this is unless you communicate and make an educated judgement. Simply making a generalised assumption is not the way to handle it.

If this behaviour repeats, then I totally understand calling it. If the person shows no desire to amend, then I totally understand calling it. If OP still feels uncertain despite her responses being positive, then I totally understand calling it.

What I don't understand is this absolute righteousness that insinuates people need to be perfect or they're not worth it.

Life doesn't work that way.

Arbitrary. Too many factors to generalise.

Expecting your partner will not shame or berate you in public or for not having sex with them isn't asking for perfection.

If somebody is treating you this way, they should be held accountable. Usually, the best way to hold an abusive partner accountable is to leave them.

I dated somebody who would hit me, bite me, scream at me, and tell me I was worthless and to leave them. When I would try to leave, they would throw themselves on the ground and ask me how I could be so heartless and they were just "testing my love" and they'll kill themselves if I ever left.

This person had tons of emotional baggage and issues, and I forgave them for their constant abuse because I thought I was "man enough" to let them throw their fits and still love them for it. After all, with all they had been through, is it really their fault? There were so many factors contributing to her episodes.

Then I realized that it didn't fucking matter WHY they abused me, it only mattered that she did at all. I eventually walked out of that nightmare and they tried to commit suicide three times. It doesn't maybe what they've gone through or why they abuse you. You can't help them. I was with this girl for almost two years, rationalizing and justifying her behavior and trying to help her overcome it. She's not a bad person, I thought, just damaged.

If you abuse your partner, in a capacity as severe as mine or as casually as the OPs, you do not deserve the benefit of the doubt. You do not deserve to be enabled. I walked out. OP should walk out. Nobody should stand for abuse. Not once, not ever, and nobody should be telling other people to wait it out or try to help them get over it.

They will berate you again. They will hit you again. They will shame you again. Maybe every day, maybe not, but abuse doesn't start and stop because somebody was having a bad day.

 

[Shredderi]

What I don't understand is this absolute righteousness that insinuates people need to be perfect or they're not worth it.

Life doesn't work that way.

No one needs to be perfect, but everyone has a personal treshold that when crossed means it's over. That treshold is usually also adjusted to be relative to the amount of time the couple has been together. In this case it's only 1.5 months so to many it's just not worth the effort to stay around to see if it was just a one-off thing and would things go better in the future when they can just leave without it really hurting much because they've been together for such a short time. The risk vs reward just isn't there for some.

 

[Nibel]

I thought that the 'BR' in the thread title stood for Blu Ray somehow implying that the OP's girlfriend was a blurry 480i and when she then became visible in startlingly crisp and clear 1080p the OP couldn't handle it and walked out on her.






.
.
.
.

I prefer my version of events.

Delete this Busty

 

[Juke Joint Jezebel]

Expecting your partner will not shame or berate you in public or for not having sex with them isn't asking for perfection.

If somebody is treating you this way, they should be held accountable. Usually, the best way to hold an abusive partner accountable is to leave them.

Pretty much this. Nobody has to be perfect, but basic respect and the capability not to berate, insult and embarrass your partner even when drunk is usually a basic requirement for most people!

 

[ascii42]

No. It just says they are good at hiding who they really are when they are sober. Judge people by their actions when their guard is down. That's who they really are, not this nonsense about being so blind drunk that you don't know what you're doing. No that's who you really are.

It's not about pissing your pants either, that's stupid. It's about behaviour, how you treat others when you're so drunk that you no longer feel bound by societal norms or your own perceived sense of how you should behave.

I'm inclined to say that I think that someone who is only an asshole when they are drunk is less of an asshole than someone who is an asshole all the time. But I can't say that I really disagree with you here, particularly the last sentence.

 

[flkraven]

....because I believe good people can do shitty things, and won't write someone off as a scum-bag after a single incident.

I've been in relationships long enough to know this mentality isn't worth it, especially in newer relationships. The first few months of a relationship are the 'honeymoon' period. If this is how she's acting now, I wouldn't want to waste my time waiting to see how she will treat me in a few months. Life is too short, especially when there is another girl just around the corner that won't treat you like garbage.

 

[Busty]

Delete this Busty

Eeep.

Has there been some blood letting in this thread that I am not aware of?

 

[jaekeem]

This is just great advice for anyone who drinks to the point of getting drunk.

The thing is, you realised it was shitty and you made amends. I'd have thought you'd be more open to giving others the same chance.

The best teacher is bitter regret. I wouldn't be as adamant about having changed myself if I hadn't lost a few friends as a result of my selfishness.

If OP does break up with his GF, I would bet that it would bring about some positive self-examination on her part, at the least.

 

[trixx]

Judging by what as said and the fact that he has felt disrespected, yeah you have every right to dump her. Why are people always on the side of the girl even calling OP a bitch? For what?

Cut her off you deserve better

 

[Zakalwe]

Usually, the best way to hold an abusive partner accountable is to leave them.

Again, I get this, and had she struck him or gotten physical I'd say it's almost certain her behaviour has been repeated and allowed to build up to this point. I think physical violence is an immediate alarm that the behaviour has been escalating for a while and will continue.

I don't think this incident qualifies for the same alert level. Again, I'd be willing to communicate and try to discover more before I made a decision.

And if the behaviour was repeated, I'd most likely leave.

I'm not condoning abusive behaviour, what she did was absolutely not cool.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

You're blowing this incident out of proportion, especially as you have no way to tell if it's a trait or some kind of one-off reaction.

And one-off reactions do exist, you must be aware of this.

If it's repeated behaviour, then I understand not wanting to engage with it.

And you're too quick to assume she's a good person who just had a bad day/did a shitty thing.

They have been dating for six weeks, if she's doing it so soon into the relationship, it will happen again if the OP forgives her. It's not the OPs job to worry or care about what caused her lash out against him, the only thing he should care about in the relationship this early is if he's having fun and if the person is someone worth investing in.

Answer to both is a definitive no. OP has no obligation or duty to be a doormat who should put up with someone abusing and berating him in front of others and then using sex as a weapon when she realises she pushed things too far this soon into relationship.

 

[Blackpanther25]

I've been in relationships long enough to know this mentality isn't worth it, especially in newer relationships. The first few months of a relationship are the 'honeymoon' period. If this is how she's acting now, I wouldn't want to waste my time waiting to see how she will treat me in a few months. Life is too short, especially when there is another girl just around the corner that won't treat you like garbage.

Felt the same exact way about my ex. Ended up leaving her and finding my future wife.

 

[Audioboxer]

Again, I get this, and had she struck him or gotten physical I'd say it's almost certain her behaviour has been repeated and allowed to build up to this point. I think physical violence is an immediate alarm that the behaviour has been escalating for a while and will continue.

I don't think this incident qualifies for the same alert level. Again, I'd be willing to communicate and try to discover more before I made a decision.

And if the behaviour was repeated, I'd most likely leave.

I'm not condoning abusive behaviour, what she did was absolutely not cool.

OP owes it to himself to get an explanation but in no way has to give a 2nd chance.

 

[DudeWithNoName]

Was she a dom? There's some people that get off on belittling others in public. That's how they get 'hot'.

Yep. And if you're really lucky she'll pee on you too.

 

[flkraven]

Again, I get this, and had she struck him or gotten physical I'd say it's almost certain her behaviour has been repeated and allowed to build up to this point. I think physical violence is an immediate alarm that the behaviour has been escalating for a while and will continue.

I don't think this incident qualifies for the same alert level. Again, I'd be willing to communicate and try to discover more before I made a decision.

And if the behaviour was repeated, I'd most likely leave.

I'm not condoning abusive behaviour, what she did was absolutely not cool.

Once again, why though? Why are you so sure the girl in the OP deserves this level of patience? Based on the facts given to us so far, all we know is that it is a short term relationships and the chick acted like a psychopath one night. I think you are projecting here.

 

[Zakalwe]

Once again, why though? Why are you so sure the girl in the OP deserves this level of patience? Based on the facts given to us so far, all we know is that it is a short term relationships and the chick acted like a psychopath one night. I think you are projecting here.

I've explained why, I'm not interested in going in circles about that exact same point.

What do you think I'm projecting exactly?

The best teacher is bitter regret. I wouldn't be as adamant about having changed myself if I hadn't lost a few friends as a result of my selfishness.

If OP does break up with his GF, I would bet that it would bring about some positive self-examination on her part, at the least.

It may do, it may not.

Perhaps giving her a second chance will make her realise this behaviour is damaging and together they can root it out. Perhaps if OP does that, she'll never, ever behave that way again and become a much better person because of his understanding. Maybe it won't, maybe she'll give him the right words but her actions will betray them.

It happens both ways, I'm sure you know this. OP has to decide if her being "incredible" before was enough.

Again though, I understand people have different levels of tolerance for these things, I completely understand your view.

I've been in relationships long enough to know this mentality isn't worth it, especially in newer relationships. The first few months of a relationship are the 'honeymoon' period. If this is how she's acting now, I wouldn't want to waste my time waiting to see how she will treat me in a few months. Life is too short, especially when there is another girl just around the corner that won't treat you like garbage.

And my experience is the exact opposite, evidently.

OP owes it to himself to get an explanation but in no way has to give a 2nd chance.

I didn't say he has to, I'm simply saying communicate first /then/ make a call.

 

[kavanf1]

Once I went out with a girl who never drank alcohol and the first 18 months were great. Then she started drinking and she just couldn't handle it. That was the beginning of the end for us, as she wasn't willing to do anything about it and she was frankly an asshole when she was drunk.

For me, it would be over.

Calling you a bitch in front of other people.

Insulting your manhood.

If this had been a thread about a guy calling his GF a cunt three times in public and then tried to impose on her sexually GAF would be outraged.

Instead we have bizarre posts about how it is not a big deal.

I have trouble accepting the sheer lack of self-respect it would require to accept this without consequences.

Pretty much my initial thoughts, though if I was really into her I wouldn't end it without seeing how she reacted once she'd sobered up. I mean, if she accepted that this was not cool and was really upset by what she'd done, I could see myself forgiving her. That would be the only time though. First and second strike in one.

 

[Zakalwe]

Once I went out with a girl who never drank alcohol and the first 18 months were great. Then she started drinking and she just couldn't handle it. That was the beginning of the end for us, as she wasn't willing to do anything about it and she was frankly an asshole when she was drunk.


Pretty much my initial thoughts, though if I was really into her I wouldn't end it without seeing how she reacted once she'd sobered up. I mean, if she accepted that this was not cool and was really upset by what she'd done, I could see myself forgiving her. That would be the only time though. First and second strike in one.

I consider this a level-headed and sensible post.

Shame that relationship went south that way, it's really hard when someone self-destructs like that and there's nothing you can do but walk away.

And you're too quick to assume she's a good person who just had a bad day/did a shitty thing.
.

No, I'm simply saying don't make snap judgements and communicate before making a call.

 

[brawly]

You should've played it off. "Yeah whatever bitch, you're drunk".

I'm guessing you were already moping then, weren't you? She saw that as an invitation. She saw how it made you feel, that you're mentally weak and easily offended. So my suggestion is to stop letting things get to your head. Dumb people say dumb shit and they will continue to do so going forward. Yeah she was wrong but there will be more people after her to wrong you. If you let people roll over you they're gonna do it.

And I would've given it to her raw (edit: as in good, not unprotected) in that bathroom and then told her "it's over" but that's advanced level shit.

edit: my intent wasn't to belittle you. Maybe the tough love act was inappropriate here.

 

[fanboi]

You should've played it off. "Yeah whatever bitch, you're drunk".

I'm guessing you were already moping then, weren't you? She saw that as an invitation. She saw how it made you feel, that you're mentally weak and easily offended. So my suggestion is to stop letting things get to your head. Dumb people say dumb shit and they will continue to do so going forward. Yeah she was wrong but there will be more people after her to wrong you. If you let people roll over you they're gonna do it.

And I would've given it to her raw in that bathroom and then told her "it's over" but that's advanced level shit.

*facepalm*

Someone didn't see the mod post (and don't have common sense)

And just for being the perfect gif

 

[flkraven]

I've explained why, I'm not interested in going in circles about that exact same point.

What do you think I'm projecting exactly?

Not even once have you explained why this specific girl deserves this level of patience. You've spoke in generalities, clearly meaning you are drawing from your own experience and you are projecting those experiences here. OP barely knows this person, and this person treated him like a complete dick.

OP has no incentive to stay with this person because
a) There are millions of other girls he could be with. He has to put a bunch of work in if he wants to stay with this question mark, when he could be rolling the dice and taking it easy with someone new.
b) Staying in this relationship opens the door for future attacks. A precedent has been set, and now the GF things she can act like a complete piece of shit and somehow keep the guy.

 

[rjinaz]

You should've played it off. "Yeah whatever bitch, you're drunk".

I'm guessing you were already moping then, weren't you? She saw that as an invitation. She saw how it made you feel, that you're mentally weak and easily offended. So my suggestion is to stop letting things get to your head. Dumb people say dumb shit and they will continue to do so going forward. Yeah she was wrong but there will be more people after her to wrong you. If you let people roll over you they're gonna do it.

And I would've given it to her raw in that bathroom and then told her "it's over" but that's advanced level shit.

we got a tough guy over here.

But seriously, fuck that. Nobody should ever accept being berated in public. It doesn't make you a macho man to let nothing affect you ever.

 

[Beefy]

You should've played it off. "Yeah whatever bitch, you're drunk".

I'm guessing you were already moping then, weren't you? She saw that as an invitation. She saw how it made you feel, that you're mentally weak and easily offended. So my suggestion is to stop letting things get to your head. Dumb people say dumb shit and they will continue to do so going forward. Yeah she was wrong but there will be more people after her to wrong you. If you let people roll over you they're gonna do it.

And I would've given it to her raw in that bathroom and then told her "it's over" but that's advanced level shit.

Mod warns people not to post shit like this, yet you do anyways.

 

[Sickboy007]

You should've played it off. "Yeah whatever bitch, you're drunk".

I'm guessing you were already moping then, weren't you? She saw that as an invitation. She saw how it made you feel, that you're mentally weak and easily offended. So my suggestion is to stop letting things get to your head. Dumb people say dumb shit and they will continue to do so going forward. Yeah she was wrong but there will be more people after her to wrong you. If you let people roll over you they're gonna do it.

And I would've given it to her raw in that bathroom and then told her "it's over" but that's advanced level shit.

That's hardcore brah

 

[trixx]

You should've played it off. "Yeah whatever bitch, you're drunk".

I'm guessing you were already moping then, weren't you? She saw that as an invitation. She saw how it made you feel, that you're mentally weak and easily offended. So my suggestion is to stop letting things get to your head. Dumb people say dumb shit and they will continue to do so going forward. Yeah she was wrong but there will be more people after her to wrong you. If you let people roll over you they're gonna do it.

And I would've given it to her raw in that bathroom and then told her "it's over" but that's advanced level shit.

risk getting her pregnant after dumping her. facepalm

 

[Audioboxer]

You should've played it off. "Yeah whatever bitch, you're drunk".

I'm guessing you were already moping then, weren't you? She saw that as an invitation. She saw how it made you feel, that you're mentally weak and easily offended. So my suggestion is to stop letting things get to your head. Dumb people say dumb shit and they will continue to do so going forward. Yeah she was wrong but there will be more people after her to wrong you. If you let people roll over you they're gonna do it.

And I would've given it to her raw in that bathroom and then told her "it's over" but that's advanced level shit.

tip: Find this picture and read!

 

[Zakalwe]

Not even once have you explained why this specific girl deserves this level of patience.

If you really need the help...

I've said:

Good people do shitty things.
Communicate before making a call.
Sometimes a second chance is worth it.

I'm sure you can extrapolate what you need to.

You should've played it off. "Yeah whatever bitch, you're drunk".

I'm guessing you were already moping then, weren't you? She saw that as an invitation. She saw how it made you feel, that you're mentally weak and easily offended. So my suggestion is to stop letting things get to your head. Dumb people say dumb shit and they will continue to do so going forward. Yeah she was wrong but there will be more people after her to wrong you. If you let people roll over you they're gonna do it.

And I would've given it to her raw in that bathroom and then told her "it's over" but that's advanced level shit.

Goodbye.

 

[Messofanego]

Op, better watch out when you dump her... zakalwe is ready to pounce.

Goddamn XD

 

[Zakalwe]

Goddamn XD

Maybe I'm more of a masochist than I realised.

 

[Netherscourge]

People who are drunk speak the truth about their feelings.

If she was calling you a bitch, then it means she normally thinks you are bitch (in her opinion).

So, you might want to get out of the relationship because it sounds like she has a low opinion of you and keeps it to herself, unless she's drunk, when she lets it all out.

 

[brawly]

Point is try to grow thicker skin, it can't hurt. i'm not a tough guy or unfazed either but you can't let everything go to your head.

risk getting her pregnant after dumping her. facepalm

Raw as in hard? My mistake, I'm not native. Would never suggest unprotected sex.

 

[Zakalwe]

People who are drunk speak the truth about their feelings.

If she was calling you a bitch, then it means she normally thinks you are bitch (in her opinion).

So, you might want to get out of the relationship because it sounds like she has a low opinion of you and keeps it to herself, unless she's drunk, when she lets it all out.

Remember, OP said she was calling him it jokingly. My friends call each other motherfucker, bitch, geek, etc... all the time in a joking way.

I think the more telling thing is that he asked her to stop and she didn't, even if she was joking, but then she was drunk so this could be reasoned as her not quite getting how serious he was simply because she was too pissed to realise...

The major factor here, imo, is her demanding sex and demeaning the OP when he refused her advances. This could be an indicator of future behaviour, and this is what they need to communicate about the most.

 

[Astral Dog]

If OP was a girl and a guy was saying and doing those things, I feel some of you would be piping a different tune.

True

 

[brawly]

Mod warns people not to post shit like this, yet you do anyways.

tip: Find this picture and read!

This?

We can discuss things such as maturity and the effects of alcohol in the human mind until cows come home, but if we catch you endorsing or making light of this we will act upon it.

Hadn't seen it but I guess I was kinda making light of the situation, so sorry for that (I was also exagerating). I still think these things happen and if they do then try not to let them get to you as much as possible, for the future (coming from someone who used to let everything get to his head). I didn't say he should call her a bitch first or that it was okay from her to do so. But she did and other people might say similar things down the line.

 

[OriginalThinking]

Where you there? How do you know it was jokingly?

Cos OP said it was. It's up to the OP what is to be done. The GF has messed up. If the OP thinks this could be a one off mistake and that the GF will learn from this and never do it again, that's OP's call. If the OP doesn't think she will learn or doesn't want to risk putting themselves in that position again I can understand that. I'm not sure there's an objectively correct decision here that anyone on GAF except the OP can make. We simply don't know enough about the individuals at play here, so we make a call on the information we're given. That doesn't mean we can't have an opinion, of course. Just that we can't be certain. That's what the world is, a bunch of uncertainties and we make the best call we can based on the evidence in front of us.

 

[Aztechnology]

That girls name? Albert Einstein.

Ok... I think I need this explained to me.

 

[Llyranor]

Again, I get this, and had she struck him or gotten physical I'd say it's almost certain her behaviour has been repeated and allowed to build up to this point. I think physical violence is an immediate alarm that the behaviour has been escalating for a while and will continue.

I don't think this incident qualifies for the same alert level. Again, I'd be willing to communicate and try to discover more before I made a decision.

And if the behaviour was repeated, I'd most likely leave.

I'm not condoning abusive behaviour, what she did was absolutely not cool.

What about mild physical violence, though? What about a quick slap that was justified because you were being disrespected, or a mild shove down the stairs, or a forceful squeezing of the arm or wrist but not forceful enough to not leave a mark for the police to document? The line you draw seems a bit arbitrary.