Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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I just think she's really cool and our personalities mesh, so I'd like to hang out with her and just have some good times with the pressure off. And yeah, maybe she could set me up, idk how many female friends she has but I wouldn't oppose it. But yeah, if I catch feels after I get to know her better, I'll bail. So far, so good. It's more of an attraction. I don't know what she could be like in public, that's what I want to find out.

Her schedule is fucking her over, so the earliest we can get together is gonna be a week from now but I'll keep trying lol.

Hmm... Tread carefully. Ask yourself if your liking her is an I just mede a new friend and they are cool + hormones. Aka something you will quickly get over. I think I've had minor crushes on almost every girl I've ever met for the first few days. Then it settles down and I just want to be friends with most.

If you think that will happen arrange a group hang with a few of your friends and a few of her friends ( of both genders) plus maybe she has a hot friend who will be into you

If you really want to date her and that's not going to change. Go for broke. Say it's dating or nothing. And dont waste any more of either of your time
 
Yeah man, you are completely right. It was tough, but I decided to just try asking her out. So I chatted a bit with her through whatsapp, and then asked if she wanted to go out for some beers. Unfortunately, her answer did not inspire much confidence. She gave me the "Yeah, we could, but I've been so busy lately", which sounds a bit like a polite refusal.

Well, I can't say I haven't tried, though, which lifts quite the weight from my shoulders.

That's usually a pretty clear sign they're not interested, at least not now. It's definitely good you went for it though, sitting there wondering "what if" can be a killer.

Any progress with the other girl?
 
I sent one text after my date last night, saying I had a good time and we should get together again this week.

I should leave it at that right and see if she replies?
 
This girl I went on a date with yesterday is calling me "bro", which indicates we'll be friends and nothing more. And I am super happy with that, because that is what I wanted too. But should I just tell her straight out, that we are friends or just let it be like it is? Anyway, I'm setting up another date with a girl I am super interested in, and she'll let me know when she got time. I want to find some funny things to do in Copenhagen, but it's kinda hard.
 
Thanks guys, I appreciate the help. I'll try to go out and do things, don't know where to look just yet but I am searching.

I want to change because I feel like I'm wasting my life away bored and alone.. so yeah I need to do it. I'll go out and try new things.
 
She also doesn't deserve to lose one of her closest ever friends because the relationship doesn't work out.
What the fuck.

I want to go out and do things but never do anything because I think about how lame and how much of a loser I'd be if I went to places alone .-. so I end up just not doing anything/just playing some game.
You know what's lamer than going places alone? Not doing anything. No one gives a shit if you're going somewhere alone. That stuff's all in your head.

Start challenging your comfort zone by doing something easy. I'm sure you like movies, right? Go see a movie at the cinema by yourself. Right now, pick a movie you want to see and make plans asap. Once you're comfortable going to the movies alone you can go from there.
 
Thanks guys, I appreciate the help. I'll try to go out and do things, don't know where to look just yet but I am searching.

I want to change because I feel like I'm wasting my life away bored and alone.. so yeah I need to do it. I'll go out and try new things.

Where do you live? And if you don't want to disclose that info, is it a small town or big city?
 
Coffee meets Bagel is being kind of weird considering how big of a city I'm in... 95% of my free bagels are Jewish, 95% of the discovery ones are asian... Is there really no one else in the city?
 
Coffee meets Bagel is being kind of weird considering how big of a city I'm in... 95% of my free bagels are Jewish, 95% of the discovery ones are asian... Is there really no one else in the city?

Someone mentioned before that CmB is where women go to find long term relationships, so maybe that's why it's full of those specific groups?

I mean, not to generalise, but those two groups are generally more interested in something long term than casual...
 
Someone mentioned before that CmB is where women go to find long term relationships, so maybe that's why it's full of those specific groups?

I mean, not to generalise, but those two groups are generally more interested in something long term than casual...

I got mostly Asians in Silicon Valley area. I think it is popular with them. Not sure about the Jewish thing, though.
 
Someone mentioned before that CmB is where women go to find long term relationships, so maybe that's why it's full of those specific groups?

I mean, not to generalise, but those two groups are generally more interested in something long term than casual...

No, and I get that but I'm in one of the largest cities in the world. I'm just shocked that's it's literally like 9/10 per day are of one of those two groups, I'm also interested in their algorithm since they don't seem to cross over. Like no asians in the daily ones and pretty much never jewish women in the discovery. I didn't expect equal representation but these are heavily skewed was all.
 
A cute girl matched me on my superlike.

Here. We. Go.

Fuck, what should I write? :D

Edit: Oh yeah, also picked up Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari. Pretty fun and interesting read so far!
 
Maybe one of them does (bumble?) but the other ones don't AFAIK. I have a blank facebook and I still get matches.

Good to know. I was thinking of doing that, actually. It's mainly because all of my friends are from WAY the hell out of town from where I live now. So I figured it'd be matching me with people out there.
 
Good to know. I was thinking of doing that, actually. It's mainly because all of my friends are from WAY the hell out of town from where I live now. So I figured it'd be matching me with people out there.

No, you definitely wouldn't as it uses the GPS on your phone to determine location for matches. None of them would do something like that AFAIK.
 
That's usually a pretty clear sign they're not interested, at least not now. It's definitely good you went for it though, sitting there wondering "what if" can be a killer.

Any progress with the other girl?

Yeah, it was nice being in control for a change. I still struggle a lot with insecurity and low self-esteem, so even a small thing like that is usually a challenge for me. Still, the rejection was quite bitter. It's been more than a year since I last had a victory with any dating thing, so I can't help but feel disappointed. Especially when it is so tough for me to meet girls that are really my type like her. But there is not much I can do.

What puzzles me is the way she answered it. According to my friend, she checked the girl's Facebook profile and she still has a BF, so it would be much simpler if she had just told me so. I did check the girl's profile as well, but there was no relationship info available, which I assumed was either because she didn't have a BF or because it wasn't available for non-friends. Still, I guess it doesn't make much difference.

About the other girl, things are not looking good too, unfortunately. What happened about our date, is that we scheduled it for last Saturday, but she told me she would confirm Saturday morning if she could go or not. Come Saturday, she just disappeared completely from whatsapp. It didn't help that I couldn't call her on her cellphone either, and had no other means to contact her. So I assumed she ditched me, and I ended up deciding to go visit some friends instead. Then, an hour before the time we were supposed to go on the date, she calls me saying she is sorry and that for whatever reason her cellphone could not connect to internet that day, so she couldn't give me a confirmation about our date, but she was still up for it if I was too. But because of some distance and timing issues, we ended up deciding that it was better if we rescheduled it for next Saturday. Since then, I haven't been able to talk to her again, as it her cellphone issues seems to persist.
 
Yeah, it was nice being in control for a change. I still struggle a lot with insecurity and low self-esteem, so even a small thing like that is usually a challenge for me. Still, the rejection was quite bitter. It's been more than a year since I last had a victory with any dating thing, so I can't help but feel disappointed. Especially when it is so tough for me to meet girls that are really my type like her. But there is not much I can do.

What puzzles me is the way she answered it. According to my friend, she checked the girl's Facebook profile and she still has a BF, so it would be much simpler if she had just told me so. I did check the girl's profile as well, but there was no relationship info available, which I assumed was either because she didn't have a BF or because it wasn't available for non-friends. Still, I guess it doesn't make much difference.

About the other girl, things are not looking good too, unfortunately. What happened about our date, is that we scheduled it for last Saturday, but she told me she would confirm Saturday morning if she could go or not. Come Saturday, she just disappeared completely from whatsapp. It didn't help that I couldn't call her on her cellphone either, and had no other means to contact her. So I assumed she ditched me, and I ended up deciding to go visit some friends instead. Then, an hour before the time we were supposed to go on the date, she calls me saying she is sorry and that for whatever reason her cellphone could not connect to internet that day, so she couldn't give me a confirmation about our date, but she was still up for it if I was too. But because of some distance and timing issues, we ended up deciding that it was better if we rescheduled it for next Saturday. Since then, I haven't been able to talk to her again, since it seems her cellphone issues persist.

Attention seekers are the worst. Ones that are in active relationships and use others to get what's missing in that relationship are perhaps the single worst people on dating sites. It's hard to weed them out, the only way to do it is to take control, which is exactly what you did. Well done, you're doing better than most.

The other girl - BS excuse. A phone doesn't just magically disconnect from the internet. She either put her phone into airplane mode or simply didn't want to meet. Maintain some self respect, message her one more time on Friday and if there's no response, I'd delete her number and move on. Don't let her play that card again.
 
Attention seekers are the worst. Ones that are in active relationships and use others to get what's missing in that relationship are perhaps the single worst people on dating sites. It's hard to weed them out, the only way to do it is to take control, which is exactly what you did. Well done, you're doing better than most.

The other girl - BS excuse. A phone doesn't just magically disconnect from the internet. She either put her phone into airplane mode or simply didn't want to meet. Maintain some self respect, message her one more time on Friday and if there's no response, I'd delete her number and move on. Don't let her play that card again.

I don't know... I've had my old phone drop off of LTE before and not come back for a while so it could happen but yeah, very very small chance. Although she did reach out so that's a little weird.
 
I don't know... I've had my old phone drop off of LTE before and not come back for a while so it could happen but yeah, very very small chance. Although she did reach out so that's a little weird.

What are the chances of her having an crazy old phone that doesn't hold an internet connection though? While I can't say with a 100 per cent certainty, that being the case seems unlikely...

And maybe the guy she went on a date with that weekend didn't work out so she decided to keep him hanging and she's since found someone she likes better and is either ghosting the poster or hoping to keep him hanging in case that one doesn't work out either.

Or she just has chronis phone troubles and she's not an avid facebook/instagram/twitter user so it doesn't really matter to her that her phone doesn't have a properly working internet connection.
 
Attention seekers are the worst. Ones that are in active relationships and use others to get what's missing in that relationship are perhaps the single worst people on dating sites. It's hard to weed them out, the only way to do it is to take control, which is exactly what you did. Well done, you're doing better than most.

This girl is not an attention seeker, though. I did not met her on a dating site, but personally at a friend's birthday party, last sunday. We had some friendly conversations, but mostly in a group setting, and at some point I ended up getting her whatsapp so I could send her the address to a site I mentioned. I used the opportunity to ask her on a date yesterday, and she gave the polite refusal that I mentioned. At no point I felt she was seeking attention, since I was the one to be active in trying to talk to her.

The other girl, yeah, I agree with you that sounds like a bullshit excuse. I'm on a wait and see approach with her, but I'm keeping my expectations in check and being ready to move on.

Funny thing, a few pages back I was conflicted about asking the first girl out when I already had a date with the other girl scheduled. Now, it seems I'm going on a date with neither.
 
This girl is not an attention seeker, though. I did not met her on a dating site, but personally at a friend's birthday party, last sunday. We had some friendly conversations, but mostly in a group setting, and at some point I ended up getting her whatsapp so I could send her the address to a site I mentioned. I used the opportunity to ask her on a date yesterday, and she gave the polite refusal that I mentioned. At no point I felt she was seeking attention, since I was the one to be active in trying to talk to her.

The other girl, yeah, I agree with you that sounds like a bullshit excuse. I'm on a wait and see approach with her, but I'm keeping my expectations in check and being ready to move on.

Funny thing, a few pages back I was conflicted about asking the first girl out when I already had a date with the other girl scheduled. Now, it seems I'm going on a date with neither.

Fair enough on the first person. Your post made it seem like she was attention seeking with the whole has a BF, etc but I guess that's what happens when you assume without enough information.

Eh, don't sweat it man. It's good you've got your expectations in check. Are you still checking out the dating sites and sending out messages?
 
What are the chances of her having an crazy old phone that doesn't hold an internet connection though? While I can't say with a 100 per cent certainty, that being the case seems unlikely...
.

It is actually more likely than it seems, but it requires some context . First, we are in Brazil, and mobile phone companies + ISPs are very unreliable around here. Plus, in past conversations we had, she mentioned how no decent ISPs reached the place that she lived, and the only option she had was a sort of mobile connection that is very shitty and unreliable. So it's not really unfeasible that she had some connection issues the past few days. It also helped that she made the effort to call me on that day. That's why I'm on a wait and see approach.

Fair enough on the first person. Your post made it seem like she was attention seeking with the whole has a BF, etc but I guess that's what happens when you assume without enough information.

Eh, don't sweat it man. It's good you've got your expectations in check. Are you still checking out the dating sites and sending out messages?

Yup. I actually had 3 nice Tinder matches today and the conversation seems to be flowing quite well with one of them.
 
It is actually more likely than it seems, but it requires some context . First, we are in Brazil, and mobile phone companies + ISPs are very unreliable around here. Plus, in past conversations we had, she mentioned how no decent ISPs reached the place that she lived, and the only option she had was a sort of mobile connection that is very shitty and unreliable. So it's not really unfeasible that she had some connection issues the past few days. It also helped that she made the effort to call me on that day. That's why I'm on a wait and see approach.

The "my phone/internet doesn't work" excuse isn't the biggest issue in itself, it's more that she was noncommittal (people know when they have free time, if they are not sure, they should suggest an alternate date, especially if they know they have unreliable phone/internet) and then after making you wait all day to confirm, she suddenly gets an internet connection an hour before you were supposed to meet. I think it is like Miles said, basically you were her back up plan.

Sounds like you have the right idea, but I wouldn't put too much effort here.
 
The "my phone/internet doesn't work" excuse isn't the biggest issue in itself, it's more that she was noncommittal (people know when they have free time, if they are not sure, they should suggest an alternate date, especially if they know they have unreliable phone/internet) and then after making you wait all day to confirm, she suddenly gets an internet connection an hour before you were supposed to meet. I think it is like Miles said, basically you were her back up plan.

Sounds like you have the right idea, but I wouldn't put too much effort here.

She actually did suggest another day, though. The reasoning for her not commiting to this past Saturday was that she wasn't sure she would have much money to go out, as it is the end of the month (and she is a teacher, teachers around here make terrible money). So she suggested that if she did couldn't go this Saturday because of money, we went out the next one instead, as she receives her salary at the beginning of the month.

Also, she called my from her home phone the hour before the date, not her cellphone.
 
Man, I am going through a bad drought in my luck with women lately. Not only do I get hardly any matches on Tinder, but also the ones who match either don't respond or stop after two or three messages. On other dating apps I'm doing even worse.
Every once in a while, I try my luck in bars, but also there I've had no success lately.
All in all it's really annoying and I'm losing my drive to even bother trying.
What makes things worse is that I really don't know what I can do to improve my chances. I pretty much have my life under control, am well educated, have a good job, do sports every day and as far as I can tell I am not really socially awkward (who knows, maybe I am wrong about that)
It really sucks.
 
My girlfriend wishes me good night but I can see her online on WhatsApp until late. Is she cheating on me?

Before you start saying I'm super paranoid I just want to give some background. First she hates WhatsApp and social media in general and hardly ever uses it. In fact the time she does it is to chat to me. Secondly she has recently started a new job and finishes at 12am. We always wish each other good night just before we sleep. Over the past few weeks she's been wishing me good night after work when she has got home like at 12:30 but I've noticed she's still last seen on there at 3am for a couple of days now. Before this new job she would always last be seen when we both said night to eachother and we would sleep.

Not only that but today she did the same thing but also she changed her profile PIC in middle of night. Her old profile PIC was a cute holiday snap which she had for last 2 years but this new one is more like a erotic selfie duck face which is very out of character for her. Feels like she's changed it to impress someone.

Combining all these together and I think she might be potentially cheating (emotionally or physically). Maybe with somebody from work who she has given her number too?

What do you think? How should I deal with it? I want to talk to her about it but fear driving her away with my insecurity if I'm wrong.
 
She actually did suggest another day, though. The reasoning for her not commiting to this past Saturday was that she wasn't sure she would have much money to go out, as it is the end of the month (and she is a teacher, teachers around here make terrible money). So she suggested that if she did couldn't go this Saturday because of money, we went out the next one instead, as she receives her salary at the beginning of the month.

Also, she called my from her home phone the hour before the date, not her cellphone.
So she wasn't able to call you from her home phone earlier? Her cell wasn't dead it just didn't have internet (supposedly) so she had your number all day.

:P
 
My girlfriend wishes me good night but I can see her online on WhatsApp until late. Is she cheating on me?

Before you start saying I'm super paranoid I just want to give some background. First she hates WhatsApp and social media in general and hardly ever uses it. In fact the time she does it is to chat to me. Secondly she has recently started a new job and finishes at 12am. We always wish each other good night just before we sleep. Over the past few weeks she's been wishing me good night after work when she has got home like at 12:30 but I've noticed she's still last seen on there at 3am for a couple of days now. Before this new job she would always last be seen when we both said night to eachother and we would sleep.

Not only that but today she did the same thing but also she changed her profile PIC in middle of night. Her old profile PIC was a cute holiday snap which she had for last 2 years but this new one is more like a erotic selfie duck face which is very out of character for her. Feels like she's changed it to impress someone.

Combining all these together and I think she might be potentially cheating (emotionally or physically). Maybe with somebody from work who she has given her number too?

What do you think? How should I deal with it? I want to talk to her about it but fear driving her away with my insecurity if I'm wrong.

This is all just baseless speculation thus far man. I always say your gut is generally right about these things though. But yeah, no real way you can ask without it being a huge thing. IF she aint acting any different besides the messaging though I would not really worry bout it. Unless you getting signs of strange behaviour(not just different messaging habits which frankly who cares) you aint got anything to go off of.

Keep an eye out but mostly just relax man.
 
I baked cookies and gave some to a guy in a container. Other than expressing that the cookies were delicious, couldn't he at least offer to return the container to me? Lol wtf...

Are guys abscent minded like that? Hahahaha

Just to follow up on this. So I decided to ask for the container back and will probably see him later this week with regards to that. I promised him more cookies and I think I'll tell him that I don't just randomly bake cookies for guys for no reason and hopefully he gets the hint... :)
 
Just to follow up on this. So I decided to ask for the container back and will probably see him later this week with regards to that. I think I'll tell him that I don't just randomly bake cookies for guys for no reason and hopefully he gets the hint... :)

????

Just ask them out

????
 
Just to follow up on this. So I decided to ask for the container back and will probably see him later this week with regards to that. I think I'll tell him that I don't just randomly bake cookies for guys for no reason and hopefully he gets the hint... :)

Allow me to speak for most men when I say we are TERRIBLE at getting hints. It's like the idea of a woman initiating the flirt is so foreign that we don't waste the brain cycles processing it.

If you like the guy, tell him, and save yourself about three seasons worth of "will they/won't they" tv.
 
My girlfriend wishes me good night but I can see her online on WhatsApp until late. Is she cheating on me?

Before you start saying I'm super paranoid I just want to give some background. First she hates WhatsApp and social media in general and hardly ever uses it. In fact the time she does it is to chat to me. Secondly she has recently started a new job and finishes at 12am. We always wish each other good night just before we sleep. Over the past few weeks she's been wishing me good night after work when she has got home like at 12:30 but I've noticed she's still last seen on there at 3am for a couple of days now. Before this new job she would always last be seen when we both said night to eachother and we would sleep.

Not only that but today she did the same thing but also she changed her profile PIC in middle of night. Her old profile PIC was a cute holiday snap which she had for last 2 years but this new one is more like a erotic selfie duck face which is very out of character for her. Feels like she's changed it to impress someone.

Combining all these together and I think she might be potentially cheating (emotionally or physically). Maybe with somebody from work who she has given her number too?

What do you think? How should I deal with it? I want to talk to her about it but fear driving her away with my insecurity if I'm wrong.


Is she different at all when you're together? Less affectionate? Shorter conversations? If her emotions or going somewhere else, you should start to recognize it
 
I don't really enjoy much of anything other than games, so I don't think there are meetups for that. There are no mountains in Florida and I really don't have the money to take a vacation to go up North.. I'm finding it really hard to do anything :/ I keep thinking about what others think of me and how they're probably laughing at me for one reason or another. It really sucks. I WANT to stop being boring but I just don't know where to start. ^~^

This is like the personality version of "I've never tried lychees but i know i don't like them".
 
????

Just ask them out

????

Allow me to speak for most men when I say we are TERRIBLE at getting hints. It's like the idea of a woman initiating the flirt is so foreign that we don't waste the brain cycles processing it.

If you like the guy, tell him, and save yourself about three seasons worth of "will they/won't they" tv.

For real ? Hmmm I guess I will have to swallow my own insecurity then and actually tell him I like him then. We did hangout a number of times before and one day I baked some cookies and brought him some. I guess he kind of did miss the hint with the cookie because, before, I said I felt insecured about my cookies and he's just like, oh but why ? They tasted delicious.

*shakes my head
 
My girlfriend wishes me good night but I can see her online on WhatsApp until late. Is she cheating on me?

Before you start saying I'm super paranoid I just want to give some background. First she hates WhatsApp and social media in general and hardly ever uses it. In fact the time she does it is to chat to me. Secondly she has recently started a new job and finishes at 12am. We always wish each other good night just before we sleep. Over the past few weeks she's been wishing me good night after work when she has got home like at 12:30 but I've noticed she's still last seen on there at 3am for a couple of days now. Before this new job she would always last be seen when we both said night to eachother and we would sleep.

Not only that but today she did the same thing but also she changed her profile PIC in middle of night. Her old profile PIC was a cute holiday snap which she had for last 2 years but this new one is more like a erotic selfie duck face which is very out of character for her. Feels like she's changed it to impress someone.

Combining all these together and I think she might be potentially cheating (emotionally or physically). Maybe with somebody from work who she has given her number too?

What do you think? How should I deal with it? I want to talk to her about it but fear driving her away with my insecurity if I'm wrong.

Your GF is clearly growing as a person with her new job. No person stays the same forever so that's not a big deal. If you like her you are just going to have to grow with her. I'd start with a compliment. You noticed she changed her photo and you think it's sexier. Compliment her on it. That way you come off like a good BF who is attentive and caring. When you both have time to talk. Ask her about work, how she's doing ect. if things are going well she'll let you know. If she's being short and evasive... You might have a problem
 
For real ? Hmmm I guess I will have to swallow my own insecurity then and actually tell him I like him then. We did hangout a number of times before and one day I baked some cookies and brought him some. I guess he kind of did miss the hint with the cookie because, before, I said I felt insecured about my cookies and he's just like, oh but why ? They tasted delicious.

*shakes my head

Baking someone cookies may have been seen as flirting or an indication of interest in the Victorian era, but you may need to work a bit harder. Has he shown any signs that he likes you?

Don't worry, your actions are par for the course for Dating Age - we've all done these things that we see as romantic/flirty gestures which fall on deaf ears. Because they're just not. You need to be more direct. It's the advice we give everyone here! :)
 
My girlfriend wishes me good night but I can see her online on WhatsApp until late. Is she cheating on me?

Before you start saying I'm super paranoid I just want to give some background. First she hates WhatsApp and social media in general and hardly ever uses it. In fact the time she does it is to chat to me. Secondly she has recently started a new job and finishes at 12am. We always wish each other good night just before we sleep. Over the past few weeks she's been wishing me good night after work when she has got home like at 12:30 but I've noticed she's still last seen on there at 3am for a couple of days now. Before this new job she would always last be seen when we both said night to eachother and we would sleep.

Not only that but today she did the same thing but also she changed her profile PIC in middle of night. Her old profile PIC was a cute holiday snap which she had for last 2 years but this new one is more like a erotic selfie duck face which is very out of character for her. Feels like she's changed it to impress someone.

Combining all these together and I think she might be potentially cheating (emotionally or physically). Maybe with somebody from work who she has given her number too?

What do you think? How should I deal with it? I want to talk to her about it but fear driving her away with my insecurity if I'm wrong.
If she actually was cheating she would use another account, or she'd frankly just be stupid as she knows you can see when she's online. Also changing the profile pic to something sexier. I'm very doubtful.
 
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