Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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Went for coffee and just got roasted by my date for assuming her dog Nigel was male (she wasn't). bah

I had a friend that jumped on me for assuming another friend's cat, named Alice, was female. Legit said "guys can be named Alice, you're being sexist!" and other comments like that.

Those are usually the type of people you don't that wanna hang out with, let alone date lol

Sorry you had to deal with that :(
 
I had a friend that jumped on me for assuming another friend's cat, named Alice, was female. Legit said "guys can be named Alice, you're being sexist!" and other comments like that.

Those are usually the type of people you don't that wanna hang out with, let alone date lol

Sorry you had to deal with that :(

I wasn't sure what to say at the time:

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The iced mango black tea was pretty good though. Hilarious in hindsight.
 
I hear ya on everything else, but I just want to make it clear - 32 is still early days. Don't throw in the towel so easy. In 3 years time, if you fight for it, you could be in a completely different better place. Meet a girl a few years younger than you and you're set.
Yup. 32 is nothing, even re: starting a family. I know someone who's 60 with a 5yr old kid (extreme,i know). And even if you're with an older woman, there's nothing wrong with adoption. There's no expiration date for trying to find happiness, so don't set an arbitrary one.

Went for coffee and just got roasted by my date for assuming her dog Nigel was male (she wasn't). bah

Not happy.
I honestly would have walked away right there.
 
Yup. 32 is nothing, even re: starting a family. I know someone who's 60 with a 5yr old kid (extreme,i know). And even if you an older woman, there's nothing wrong with adoption.




I honestly would have walked away right there.

The Starbucks had air conditioning tho.
And I had work to do that I could get done there. I just let her decide if she wanted to stay while I worked or if she wanted to leave.
 
Heightism is such bullshit

Don't let it get you down man.

yaeh it is. I love taller women but a lot of them just can't deal with shorter guys. I will never understand a dude specifically not wanting a taller chick though. It's awesome.
(except doggy needs some adjustments)

I'm 32. Too late to get my shit in order and meet someone, have a family eventually, etc.

not even remotely true. I turn 30 soon and while I'm not currently in a relationship, I certainly don't feel like it's 'too late', in fact, it feels like the time has just begun. It's all how you look a it duder, chin up.
 
I'm 32. Too late to get my shit in order and meet someone, have a family eventually, etc.

Hell, I was still obese and depressed at 27. You'd be amazed at how much progress you can make in a year.

What worked for e was moving out of my childhood room (lived with my sisters...longish story). They both had very unhealthy eating habits, which were all too readily adopted by me. And when three different adults are bringing food into the house, it's hard to keep the bad stuff away when its not a unified effort. Moving out allowed me to control my diet. Cinnamon Toast Crunch was replaced by Cheerios. A kitchen scale was purchased to help with portion control. The water pitcher was always full since I was the only one responsible (and couldn't use my sisters as an excuse).

Not only that, but I think when you've developed a mindset in a certain place, it can be hard to escape that mindset while you're still in that place. I was outright depressed for the better parts of decades there...barely left the house most days. Getting my own apartment was a literal fresh start, and there's been marked improvement since.
 
Heightism isn't fair but it's very real

I'm 6'4" and I can't help but dismiss women that aren't at least 5'8", even then I ideally want an 5'10" girl. It's not fair to most women but it don't want to tower over a girl
 
6'3'' guy here. I'm indifferent to height personally and have gone out with all kinds of girls but I will admit, the taller, the better since it makes things easier.

The tallest girls I've gone out with have been 6ft easily. Still, in my book, if the girl is cool, I can overlook the height difference and tease girls about being vertically challenged. A girl I'm meeting with on Tuesday is 4'10'' IIRC and into comic book movies.
 
I usually prefer smaller girls but in the end I dont think it really matters to me. I kinda can understand "heightism" but when the difference is under an inch.. is it really that big of a deal. I guess it is.
 
I'm 5'10 and apparently some girls aren't even satisfied with that. Then again, it's all about height match ups and if she's 6'0, I guess she feels weird she's taller than me?
 
I've mentioned it before but since it's been brought up again regarding age.

I've always done well with women. When I was in college and around there I dated girls my own age. As I've gotten older it's only gotten better. I can date girls college aged or my age or even slightly older. I'm 31. Being older and single is way way better. Girls don't care that you are 31 or 32 or even as old as Neogafs zackiechan. Not only is 32 not too late to get into dating, it's the perfect time. You can get pretty much any aged girl you want.
 
Seems like you have your answer. It's not how you want to be treated. Let her know, or move on. Or both. You should always stand up for yourself in a matter like that. What you said is right on the money on what you would say to her. It's perfectly fine if she's not interested, but it's not treating you with respect to treat you like that. I always like people who do that. I remember so well when one of my closer friends one day told me "I've been waiting around for you today, and you should've let me know earlier. I've blown of others for you, today. I don't mind that you aren't able to come, but I do mind waiting around". He's really lenient and understanding, but he lets you know when you're overstepping his boundaries. It's a strong quality, and one we all should do, for the sake of ourselves.

And I let her know that and lo and behold she responded back. She said she got a new phone and didn't know who it was and decided to ignore it and I came off as with what I said about false hope and told me to calm down. She also told me to have a nice summer. Taking the L on this one but I really don't believe her about the new phone thing and if I can't trust her on that, what makes me think I can trust her moving forward. Idk man this has been kinda ugly and I really did like this girl.
 
And I let her know that and lo and behold she responded back. She said she got a new phone and didn't know who it was and decided to ignore it and I came off as with what I said about false hope and told me to calm down. She also told me to have a nice summer. Taking the L on this one but I really don't believe her about the new phone thing and if I can't trust her on that, what makes me think I can trust her moving forward. Idk man this has been kinda ugly and I really did like this girl.

Taking the L? So she first played the "who's this"-trick, ignored what you said and even told you to calm down? Holy crap, that's ridiculous. Your sole response should be "have a nice summer" and drop her from your life. That's no way to be treated. Sorry to hear just how much of an asshole she is.
 
I know this will probably come off kind of humble-braggy and I'm sorry if it does, but have any of you ever had a girl interested in you who is genuinely out of your league? Like, I just went on a third date with this girl who's way better than I could ever hope for in every way, and I'm worried that I'm gonna be constantly fearing that I'm not good enough. I actually brought it up to her and she said she feels similarly, but the other way around. Is this us both just having low self-esteem, combined with the jitters of dating someone new?

I'm not someone with terribly low self-esteem typically, but I do get very worried about how I come across to others.
 
I know this will probably come off kind of humble-braggy and I'm sorry if it does, but have any of you ever had a girl interested in you who is genuinely out of your league? Like, I just went on a third date with this girl who's way better than I could ever hope for in every way, and I'm worried that I'm gonna be constantly fearing that I'm not good enough. I actually brought it up to her and she said she feels similarly, but the other way around. Is this us both just having low self-esteem, combined with the jitters of dating someone new?

I'm not someone with terribly low self-esteem typically, but I do get very worried about how I come across to others.

Yes. That was my current relationship. Fix it, or it won't end well. You absolutely have to work on the confidence bit -- and I don't mean alpha bullshit, I simply mean the confidence in being comfortable in a relationship with someone, where you're attempting to build for the future.
 
Main things are massive amount of student loan debt and being overweight. I have to live with my parents right now because the burden is so high, and even then I don't really have steady work. The idea was to live with them to make some progress toward paying them down, but combined with the other issues in my life right now (severe depression) it's been tough. Anyway a lot of things combine to make it so I can't afford much, which dating kinda requires usually.

It's a lot of things piled up and it just feels like by the time I get things in order I'll be 40 or something and still struggling.

One step at a time. Small steps. Big breaths. It's not unusual to feel overburdened, but I can assure you people have been in similar situations and gotten to a much better point than they thought they could in a much smaller time they thought possible. Depression is hard to deal with, and I'm sure you're dealing with it in the best way. I'm sure you know that thinking about all the things that need to be in order before you feel things are "alright" is impossible to fix. I assure you it's not, and you might hold yourself to a higher standard than you should. I can't say what should be where in order for you to get things together. That's because it's not a one point. It's a continuous line. If you take one small step tomorrow, then you're where you should be. Then you do the same the next day. There's no point you have to get to for you to be good enough for someone. You are good enough. Really. You're in the toughest situation possible, and I get how hard it may all seem. However, I can guarantee you that you can still surprise yourself, and that it might not be anything at all that's required before you're in love with someone who's in love with you back. It'll simply happen one day.

I know this will probably come off kind of humble-braggy and I'm sorry if it does, but have any of you ever had a girl interested in you who is genuinely out of your league? Like, I just went on a third date with this girl who's way better than I could ever hope for in every way, and I'm worried that I'm gonna be constantly fearing that I'm not good enough. I actually brought it up to her and she said she feels similarly, but the other way around. Is this us both just having low self-esteem, combined with the jitters of dating someone new?

I'm not someone with terribly low self-esteem typically, but I do get very worried about how I come across to others.

I don't think anyone can be out of anyone's league. Some people hang around with some other people, but it's not like the one group is better than the other. One group might be highly superficial, with great looks and a lot of "external confidence", that is, pretending to have it because their looks get them attention and they're used to brushing it away in a "confident matter", but lacking it on the inside. Another group might be more taken with gaining understanding, while another again just wants to party hard, and are extremely sociable. These might all be various places on the "league" scale, but I think it's just a wishy-washy way of putting certain qualities too high, and not feeling one scores high enough in the same category. Whatever. She's interested in you for you. Just put aside the whole "she's too good for me".
 
http://m.neogaf.com/showpost.php?p=205244329

UPDATE:

So we basically had a talk and she admitted some stuff to me. Firstly she has been talking to this new guy "Roman" from work late at night after her work. She says they are just friends and just chatting about TV shows and stuff. She says he has a girlfriend so there is no reason to be worried.

On top of that she hits me with the news that last week he invited her out to play basketball with his girlfriend and then they went back to his girlfriends apartment to smoke some few joints of weed.

Of course she didn't tell me about it last week when I asked her what she was doing on her day off. I ask why she didn't tell me and she says that she didn't want to worry me and that they are just being friendly.

I don't know guys. Just feels overly weird to me. Yes she is allowed to make new friends that are guys too but it just feels strange how I have to pry all this information out of her.

I asked her not to have late night chats with guys after pretending to go asleep with me as its tantamount to emotional cheating almost. She agreed but grudgingly muttering that I'm controlling and don't want her to have friends.

Sigh. We left it at that and agreed to be completely honest with each other but I didn't feel that she meant it. Oh man...I guess time will tell. Haven't slept that well that much all night. I've had some relationships in the past but this is the one I really feel the most and could see myself a future with. Just hurts a lot what's happening atm. Don't know what to do or say.
 
I hear ya on everything else, but I just want to make it clear - 32 is still early days. Don't throw in the towel so easy...
Yup. 32 is nothing...
not even remotely true. I turn 30 soon and while I'm not currently in a relationship, I certainly don't feel like it's 'too late', in fact, it feels like the time has just begun. It's all how you look a it duder, chin up.
Hell, I was still obese and depressed at 27. You'd be amazed at how much progress you can make in a year...
One step at a time. Small steps. Big breaths. It's not unusual to feel overburdened...

Thanks for all the responses, I genuinely appreciate it. I'm applying for a job tomorrow and hopefully that will set me on my way. It's hard to think about just the next foot to climb and not the whole mountain, but your encouragement helps. Every little bit helps. So thanks :)
 
Thanks for all the responses, I genuinely appreciate it. I'm applying for a job tomorrow and hopefully that will set me on my way. It's hard to think about just the next foot to climb and not the whole mountain, but your encouragement helps. Every little bit helps. So thanks :)

You got this. And 32 is nothing!
 
I've mentioned it before but since it's been brought up again regarding age.

I've always done well with women. When I was in college and around there I dated girls my own age. As I've gotten older it's only gotten better. I can date girls college aged or my age or even slightly older. I'm 31. Being older and single is way way better. Girls don't care that you are 31 or 32 or even as old as Neogafs zackiechan. Not only is 32 not too late to get into dating, it's the perfect time. You can get pretty much any aged girl you want.

Few are as old as me, it's true. I'm surprised I know how to use these new fangled apps.
 
You're not in the middle ages ttk, 32 is literally just entering the world and finding their footing age for a lot of people.

Don't focus so much on age and what are outdated societal milestones.
 
Somewhat random but has anyone ever dated a social worker or someone who's on call a lot? How'd you handle it?

That all depends what type of call work it is, and how often they get called really?

I work on call quite a lot but if I do get a call, I don't have to leave the house so it's not too intrusive. Though, when I'm on call it means weekends are a little duller as I can't drink much, can't go to the cinema, can't be too far from home really.

I dunno, as long as you accept that every now and again she will probably get a call and might have to leave then there's no issue. I guess it depends on you really, but I wouldn't go getting pissed off at someone because they get a call when they're on call, you could always choose not to meet each other when she is on call.

From my experience though, it's absolutely fine and I'm sure it will be for you too.
 
Best way to reject someone but stay friends instead? I went on a date and I had a lot of fun talking to her but no spark like starting a relationship but she was really cool to be friends with.
 
I know this will probably come off kind of humble-braggy and I'm sorry if it does, but have any of you ever had a girl interested in you who is genuinely out of your league? Like, I just went on a third date with this girl who's way better than I could ever hope for in every way, and I'm worried that I'm gonna be constantly fearing that I'm not good enough. I actually brought it up to her and she said she feels similarly, but the other way around. Is this us both just having low self-esteem, combined with the jitters of dating someone new?

I'm not someone with terribly low self-esteem typically, but I do get very worried about how I come across to others.

My last ex was like that. A cute, pretty girl who was damned a genetic unicorn, with fat in all the right places. I don't think I'm an ugly guy, but to this day I'm still kinda surprised she dated me.

Congrats, btw!
 
Best way to reject someone but stay friends instead? I went on a date and I had a lot of fun talking to her but no spark like starting a relationship but she was really cool to be friends with.

Reword the bolded slightly so that it fits a conversation with her. But keep the spirit of that sentence, it's the truth.
 
http://m.neogaf.com/showpost.php?p=205244329

I asked her not to have late night chats with guys after pretending to go asleep with me as its tantamount to emotional cheating almost. She agreed but grudgingly muttering that I'm controlling and don't want her to have friends.

I think you have to back off and trust her. Do you have your own friends? If so, hang out with them and make some new friends. Continue to date/spend time with your girlfriend. If she changes her behavior and is less affectionate to you, then it's likely she's cheating.

I know it can be hard for your SO to spend time with another person but you have to have some trust.
 
Ugh, girl I'm talking to is slowly but surely falling off the radar. Flaking for sure. Also becoming less enthusiastic when talking to me. I get the feeling that she's a huge introvert because she told me she doesn't like drinking much whilst I come across to her as a 'party guy' because I had to reschedule a date since I was too tired+hungover after getting home at 6AM, which may well be the reason here.
 
Been talking on and off with a girl on okcupid. Not regular at all but our messages are pretty longs and stuff. She's from California and the last thing I asked was how different Irish people were from Californians. She replied that there there were too many differences to list but we could talk about it when we hang out. What could this possibly mean????

Just kidding but I want a good, confident reply. Like ''That sounds very intriguing. We'll have to hang out soon then, are you free this week?'' That's ok right? I feel dumb for always asking advice on these replies brothers but I've not been a date guy for long.
 
Ugh, girl I'm talking to is slowly but surely falling off the radar. Flaking for sure. Also becoming less enthusiastic when talking to me. I get the feeling that she's a huge introvert because she told me she doesn't like drinking much whilst I come across to her as a 'party guy' because I had to reschedule a date since I was too tired+hungover after getting home at 6AM, which may well be the reason here.

So you finally get a date after talking about wanting one here forever, and you skip out on it because you're too tired and hung over? Bro...

How long have you been talking? I've got 2 or 3 dates set up this week with women I met online yesterday. You gotta move fast or move on, my man.

@Kiever

"Then let's meet for drinks tonight at 8 at (place)! We've got a lot to discuss."
 
Been talking on and off with a girl on okcupid. Not regular at all but our messages are pretty longs and stuff. She's from California and the last thing I asked was how different Irish people were from Californians. She replied that there there were too many differences to list but we could talk about it when we hang out. What could this possibly mean????

Just kidding but I want a good, confident reply. Like ''That sounds very intriguing. We'll have to hang out soon then, are you free this week?'' That's ok right? I feel dumb for always asking advice on these replies brothers but I've not been a date guy for long.

Give a specific place, time, and date. Don't use non-committal words like "soon" or "sometime".
 
Been talking on and off with a girl on okcupid. Not regular at all but our messages are pretty longs and stuff. She's from California and the last thing I asked was how different Irish people were from Californians. She replied that there there were too many differences to list but we could talk about it when we hang out. What could this possibly mean????

Just kidding but I want a good, confident reply. Like ''That sounds very intriguing. We'll have to hang out soon then, are you free this week?'' That's ok right? I feel dumb for always asking advice on these replies brothers but I've not been a date guy for long.

Do you live in the same area? The way you worded it made it sound like you don't live in Cali. Just pick a place, a date, and time, and present it to her, see what she says.
 
Yeah we're both in Cork, she's from Cali. She doesn't drink so there goes me being relaxed. I guess coffee?

Is ''this week'' specific enough? Or just bite the bullet and pick a day I guess. We've gone days without messaging is the only thing so she may not even see the the thing for a bit.
 
Yeah we're both in Cork, she's from Cali. She doesn't drink so there goes me being relaxed. I guess coffee?

Is ''this week'' specific enough? Or just bite the bullet and pick a day I guess. We've gone days without messaging is the only thing so she may not even see the the thing for a bit.

You're giving the Irish a bad name. How many people need to tell you to say a specific time and day before you understand that's what you should do?

Also, there's no harm in getting conversation going again for a couple messages before asking.
 
You're giving the Irish a bad name. How many people need to tell you to say a specific time and day before you understand that's what you should do?

Also, there's no harm in getting conversation going again for a couple messages before asking.

Well I've only had 4 glasses of whiskey so far today so I'm not at my best yet.

I'll present her with a time and day so!
 
What's the best way to ask if she may want to go on birth control?

She said she doesn't like the harmful side effects of hormones and whatever but now I remembered the copper IUD. How can I bring it about?
 
What's the best way to ask if she may want to go on birth control?

She said she doesn't like the harmful side effects of hormones and whatever but now I remembered the copper IUD. How can I bring it about?

just be forward and honest about what you want/need. Ask if she's willing to explore options. Read up on the IUD and present her with information.
 
Another rejection. This time by a poly couple who's looking for a play partner. Because, you see, even though their profile says so, they're not actually looking for a play partner right now. Alright then.
 
Another rejection. This time by a poly couple who's looking for a play partner. Because, you see, even though their profile says so, they're not actually looking for a play partner right now. Alright then.

Maybe they were just trying to find a polite way to say no to you?
 
So the couple girls I saw while home here didn't lead to anything. I think part of it was possibly them knowing I was only going to be here for a relatively short but unknown time. Hopefully things improve when I go back to Alberta.
 
I have a 33yo friend at work and all she does now is bitch about how the guys she goes on dates are boring.

She met one guy she liked but he turned out to be dealing with major family issues, which she ended up being on the receiving end of and instead of being understanding, she's labelled him a psycho.

Now all she does is bitch, bitch, bitch. I'm sorely tempted to be a cunt and tell her to shut up, but I'm trying to be more accommodating of other people and not being so much of a cunt.

I'm stumped on advice I can give her.
 
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