What if he doesn't want to go into an argument about it? What would that change? So she just moves back in and they're avoiding all the scandal.
So I just went on my girlfriends ipad....
- Thread starter OCD Guy
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What if he doesn't want to go into an argument about it? What would that change? So she just moves back in and they're avoiding all the scandal.
Well of course she's going to try to save face in front of the parents. Your folks know you so they probably don't really believe her anyways. Parents are always smarter than we give them credit for and see through more bullshit than we think they do. I would bet they probably didn't really like her that much but were always nice to her mainly for your sake.
Make sure your next girlfriend isn't such a raging bipolar, and do like a background check or proper research on the people she hangs out with!! It's tough to go through shit like this but if you learn from it, it can be a valuable lesson that will make life easier in the future.
good luck man. I'm glad GAF was here for you and helped you cope in some way
Make sure your next girlfriend isn't such a raging bipolar, and do like a background check or proper research on the people she hangs out with!! It's tough to go through shit like this but if you learn from it, it can be a valuable lesson that will make life easier in the future.
good luck man. I'm glad GAF was here for you and helped you cope in some way
Mammoth Jones
Member
Hahahaha
Dog part made me sad. I worry that the crazy friend might have cats or something.
TimeEffect
Member
So how likely is it that she wont sign the papers and let him off? Sounds like she would be really vindictive or juvenile and try to drag him through hell. It's already clear she refuses to accept responsibility and she sounds like she will never admit to cheating, or at least spin it off and blame OP.
"Fancy a rimjob, OCD?"
Vicetrailia
Banned
I see, I see. His mom is his rock, she should know everything and give proper advice that he will trust to follow.
darkstar0155
Member
This. Bare minimum after the assignment is signed, I would let her know you saved the message and emailed it to yourself, so she knows she cant go around spinning that tale to all of her friends without the risk of getting called out on it.
Always-honest
Banned
Ah yeah, i remember now.
To be honest, you're probably better of working on your self-image. Gaf isn't bullshitting you about your looks.
But we can't change your mind about yourself i guess.
If you have an out for your relationship, there is no incentive to work on fixing the relationship you are in. Your wife needs to cut off contact with that guy and the two of you need to focus on fixing your relationship. Play games less and go see a marriage counselor.
Lashley
Why does he wear the mask!?
hahaha
Moff
Member
why is the dog sad, the dog shouldn't be sad
dog would be very happy with OP, not in the purse of that bad woman
Yeah dude's a 1 percenter in looks.. and is wanting to fix things. Sad.. Hopefully can get the self image up there where it belongs.
Not to get too personal, but I'd recommend seeing a psychologist to try to help you with your insecurities. Because you're a physical specimen dude, no joke. Taking a knife to that face would be a fucking crime, I'm dead serious.
Lashley
Why does he wear the mask!?
I'm the exact same way
I've had girlfriends tell me I'm hot and think they're taking the piss etc
very insecure
Admiral Woofington
Member
Unless I'm missing a joke here, the image is meant to represent the bullshit story of OP's ex
TheContact
Member
The conversation felt sincere.
Appreciate the support and advise everyone. Do you think it's unreasonable for me to ask her to not talk to this person anymore?
I was talking about coming back to him.
Either way, don't do it.
She's not going to make his life easy. It's clear she's an absurd human being and a awful person.
lmfaoo
Always-honest
Banned
No that has to happen imo. Too sensitive.
I doubt he ever feels safe with her again. If he's spending all his free time gaming and on NeoGAF, he's clearly lost feelings for her, too.
Trying to stay together for kids is the worst idea. Kids know when their parents aren't happy, so that's awful advice.
Leaving a wife or husband doesn't mean leaving the kids.
Compromises need to be made to make this whole things work again. You certainly need to work on focusing on her once the kids go to bed and she needs to drop this guy. It's understandable that you just don't feel comfortable with him in your life. And clearly, he isnt looking out for your marriage's best interest. Has she ever displayed any interest in games, if so maybe one compromise is games the whole family can join in on?
Mossybrew
Banned
Not unreasonable at all. Just put in the work with your wife, make her a priority, show her she's important. The alternative sucks, take it from me, make it right now while you still have a chance. And of course expect her to hold up her end as well.
Lashley
Why does he wear the mask!?
Certainly not
It's absolutely unreasonable for her to talk to someone that she's slept with.. and admits is her back-up plan. People will be people, but that kind of stuff needs to be left in the dating pool, not going on when you're married with kids.
That's not where you go for support, it's where you go for attention.
Tell her you love her and you're taking her to pound town after the kids go to sleep tonight. That's the mother of your children and she feels neglected. Maybe it's your fault or maybe it's not and is just her perspective, but if you love her you need to address it now and let her know that what she is feeling, whether you agree with the cause or not, is valid.
She's getting her emotional support elsewhere so you just need to backtrack to the part where she felt like she had to do that instead of come to you.
Good luck to you as well
I dont think its unreasonable she needs to talk to you if you having problems not an ex.
This OP. This.
I wouldn't make that the focus. Make sure the conversation is about getting you guys back on track first. Get a sitter, have a date with your wife etc.
Cabbagehead
Member
The truth
Crazyorloco
Member
Not unreasonable. You feel uncomfortable about him. She should care about how you feel. That guy needs to respect your relationship...and your wife does too. I think the never sent a pic thing is a lie. Why would he just say "send a pic". Plus that's what people do on snapchat. But she might be telling the truth. Who knows.
This is the type of stuff that would mess with my head in the future. I think I would probably think she's talking to him in some other way. I really hope things work out for you.
I'd recommend couples counseling.
Go_Ly_Dow
Member
You must absolutely use this event and your new found freedom to propel yourself.
Advance your career, maybe work towards University if you haven't already been, work on your image issues and become a stronger and much more confident person.
From the personality you have demonstrated in this thread you can accomplish great things if you put your mind to it.
Look after your physical and mental well being and do something new.
Advance your career, maybe work towards University if you haven't already been, work on your image issues and become a stronger and much more confident person.
From the personality you have demonstrated in this thread you can accomplish great things if you put your mind to it.
Look after your physical and mental well being and do something new.
I was expecting that today if I'm honest.
But I'm pretty stubborn so the chance of me getting into a relationship with her is ZERO. I'm not forgiving of people. I might not make a scene but I just close myself off if someone crosses the line.
Flintty
Member
I wouldn't say spending more time doing other things is a sign of lost feelings. Sometimes people just get wrapped up doing their own thing and the key is communicating and bringing each other together again through mutual hobbies. It's easy to drift apart in a long term marriage but it requires work to keep things cool.
WRT kids, they shouldn't be the only reason you stay together, no. but they're a damn good reason to talk and try everything, give it your goddamn all to work things out and stay together.
Of course not man. Now you both need to focus on your family.
And i'm mostly sure that she'll agree. Make a plan of activities that the 4 of you can make (go to the movies, to a park, rent some movies at home).
And most important, remember that you're husband and wife. Surprise her with a program of you 2 by yourselves. Before being parents you're a couple. That's a mistake that most of us commit after getting kids, we forget about the love between 2 part.
Man, you guys need to make friendship with some ugly confident guys.
Get those sexy body working.
kame-sennin
Member
Soon. It is inevitable.
Yeeeeuuuuuup.
If you don't acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself to feel emotional pain, the emotions will come out in unexpected and unhealthy ways. The "fancy a dick pic" line, while funny and harmless, is a good example.
I'm actually speaking from experience. I'm getting a lot better, but it's taken a few years.
Good luck, man. It's worth the work.
People are spending to much time gaming and not enough time grinding.
Who'd have thought it on a gaming forum!
Turning to someone for emotional support is one thing, having a backup plan, a secret male friend you slept with, who you flirt with on a platform designed specifically for deleting old messages (and pictures) is another thing entirely.
There is no guarantee that this is the whole truth either.
That's not to say he shouldn't talk this out, and try and get to the bottom of this issue and work on the marriage - but the way you frame it makes it sound like it's no big deal. I'd recommend councilling at the least, and for the poster to gird their loins for a potentially more involved confession.
Crazyorloco
Member
All our relationships are having issues. Welcome to the land of problems. <3
Cabbagehead
Member
OP, go look at the people that go to far with surgery because they quickly can't do enough (its like crack). But regret will set in once you start looking like a plastic Ken doll. Stop now and go seek help to talk about your insecurities and stop internalizing it. It will manifest in more insecurities not less and I guarantee you that, trying to please everyone with you're already good looks with more changes.
Will drive you crazy.
You need to work on your self image and not the physical, before something gets fucked up along the way and you get botched up. Also no one here is lying when they say that you're not ugly. Plus listen to you're own advice and remind yourself that -people have varying taste some good and bad, also people say things out of jealousy more times then not.
Will drive you crazy.
You need to work on your self image and not the physical, before something gets fucked up along the way and you get botched up. Also no one here is lying when they say that you're not ugly. Plus listen to you're own advice and remind yourself that -people have varying taste some good and bad, also people say things out of jealousy more times then not.
You shouldn't give her all of your free time, you need to find a balance. You shouldn't stop with your hobbies nor change who you are, but you can adjust so everyone is happy, and, if that's not enough, it just didn't work out.
Did you guys talk about this situation before? Did she already tell you that you didn't listen or that you neglected her? If so and you didn't try to accommodate her needs along with yours, than that's on you too, if she never said anything about this situation or if she demands ALL of your free time, then I don't think that's on you.
Either way, nothing justifies the action she took, and she knows it. Now it's up to you, will you be able to continue and, more importantly, be happy? If not, don't force yourself, that makes things worse for everyone.
CMojicaAce
Member
OP is a great person.
I would consider myself a calm and forgiving person, but after that bullshit story she came up with, I would have posted all the evidence and told the entire story on Facebook and tagged her on it (censored of course).
I would consider myself a calm and forgiving person, but after that bullshit story she came up with, I would have posted all the evidence and told the entire story on Facebook and tagged her on it (censored of course).
And also her "emotional support" friend is asking her to send him a picture.
Some serious and honest talk is in order, for the sake of their children.
adamsappel
Member
OCD, I can understand not wanting to show your mum dick pics so she knows you weren't cheating, but there's nothing wrong with emphatically letting your parents know this is all on the ex. I would also tell your ex not to badmouth you and spread lies that you were going behind her back and that you have the proof of what she did.
Also, you're a great-looking guy. No surgeries needed.
Also, you're a great-looking guy. No surgeries needed.
Speaking of problems I think mine is that I'm not in a relationship, though despite some of my loneliness that might not be such a bad thing.
Yeah I don't want the poster to feel additional pain, but the fact that this stuff was going on using a platform DESIGNED to cover your tracks... I'm not buying the no pics thing at all.. especially the flippant way he was asking for a pic.
Sounds more like he was settling in for a wank session and needed some fresh material.
Helensmith
Member
So nice of OP's mum to pay half the rent for now, you're very fortunate to have such supportive parents.
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