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[commish]

Think about what site you're on.

Yes, because people who play videogames shouldn't possibly be able to operate successfully in our society. Excellent point.

This thread has me shaking my head from the first post to the last.

I do note, though, that my company has everyone's home address listed in our employee directory.

 

[jmood88]

I truly don't understand how there are so many people on here who can't see how weird and creepy their behavior is. This guy sat down and wrote this whole story and not once did it register that, at the very least, what he did sounded strange as fuck.

 

[TheSpoiler]

I truly don't understand how there are so many people on here who can't see how weird and creepy their behavior is. This guy sat down and wrote this whole story and not once did it register that, at the very least, what he did sounded strange as fuck.

Because they've done it too and now they have to self-reflect on that.

 

[Irishmantis]

No worries OP I won't judge.

If I wasn't so lazy I'd be a stalker too!!!
So as an alternative i just keep poking them on Facebook.

That's where the real funs at yo

 

[TheOfficeMut]

Because they've done it too and now they have to self-reflect on that.

Oh I've reflected alright. I see nothing wrong with searching someone but I do find it weird to tell the person you did.

 

[formasymphonic]

Send her an apology card to her house.

Nah that won't be enough. OP should send a fruit basket. I'm sure he can find out her favourite fruits if he makes an effort. She will be moved by his sincerity.

 

[magawolaz]

This immediately came to mind:

 

[Carcetti]

It's nice how all the potential/actual stalkers on GAF are outing themselves in a hurry to claim 'everybody does it'.

 

[Samurai G0SU]

Only I've explained my logic and said several times that I am speaking to the general act of researching someone and not the OP, and even then I said that OP telling the person he looked her up is weird. But if you want to pick and choose what you read, even though it sounds like you didn't read shit, then that's on you.

Yea, my friend would have been much better off if she didn't do a quick search and found out that the person she was dating had molested a girl. LOL

this isnt a thread to justify your girlsfriends gut reaction to a creepy guy she might have thought about dating. this is about the OP and his decisions.

Quick glances just indicate you dont think OP was wrongt, i dont have no fucking time to read all of your history posts and i dont really care. i see what i seen when scrolling and that's that.

LOL

Spoiler

LOL

Spoiler

LOL

 

[TheOfficeMut]

this isnt a thread to justify your girlsfriends gut reaction to a creepy guy she might have thought about dating. this is about the OP and his decisions.

Quick glances just indicate you dont think OP was wrongt, i dont have no fucking time to read all of your history posts and i dont really care. i see what i seen when scrolling and that's that.

LOL

Spoiler

LOL

Spoiler

LOL

You are an idiot.

 

[MudoSkills]

Show her you're sorry by writing it all over her bathroom mirror in her favourite lipstick. You know what shade she wears, right?

 

[fireflame]

I would say we have to be careful nowadays about what informations we post on the web, i woulddnt consider googling someone's name as stalking as you access public websites, now after that it depends on how often you do this about her, but if you did it once it may have been done ina genuine and innocent way?

Other than that let us be polite and civilian, and have a nice day.

 

[Catdaddy]

Some people have said looking people up on Facebook to see what they are like is stalkerish too, but I have found it is a great way to avoid people you really don't want to be around, for both dating and friendship. A lot of people nowadays will gladly share their true colors on Facebook.

I agree with this - it’s kind of the point of social media – he/she are posting information out there for others to see (assuming it’s not locked down). Once you start down the google/address search path getting near that line.

 

[TheSpoiler]

Oh I've reflected alright. I see nothing wrong with searching someone but I do find it weird to tell the person you did.

Within the context of this situation, yes, it's creepy. They weren't dating, he willingly searched her address (no, he wasn't looking her up on Facebook or shit like that), and brought it up in a conversation. Then, homeboy doesn't understand why she's freaked out. Yeah, that's creepy.

I'm willing to bet GAFfers have done this situation in a similar manner, and it's creepy as hell. I'm not divorcing the steps here, because it's all important. If you haven't done this, then there's no need to rush over and prove to me that you didn't since the post wasn't really referring to you in the first place, yeah?

 

[Mr.Shrugglesツ]

Why the hell did you say that.

I think the correct question is, why the hell did you do that?

 

[JB1981]

This is a joke thread right? You were sent here by another site to troll GAF? You can't possibly be this stupid

 

[TheOfficeMut]

Within the context of this situation, yes, it's creepy. They weren't dating, he willingly searched her address (no, he wasn't looking her up on Facebook or shit like that), and brought it up in a conversation. Then, homeboy doesn't understand why she's freaked out. Yeah, that's creepy.

I'm willing to bet GAFfers have done this situation in a similar manner, and it's creepy as hell. I'm not divorcing the steps here, because it's all important. If you haven't done this, then there's no need to rush over and prove to me that you didn't since the post wasn't really referring to you in the first place, yeah?

No but your post seemed to suggest to me that simply doing a search of someone's name is in and of itself problematic, regardless of context. Within the context of the OP, yes, he messed up.

If you find yourself making a consolidated and unnecessary effort to dig up more than basic information from a Google search on someone you barely know, then yes, it's questionable.

 

[Captain Smoker]

It's nice how all the potential/actual stalkers on GAF are outing themselves in a hurry to claim 'everybody does it'.

I think the term "stalking" is blown way out of proportion in this thread.


This is what I know as the definition of stalking:

"Stalking is unwanted or obsessive attention by an individual or group towards another person. Stalking behaviors are related to harassment and intimidation and may include following the victim in person or monitoring them."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stalking


Assholes who follow you and are obsessed about you and stuff like that. Or send you letters, phone you 20 times a day, etc.

 

[Beefy]

Bring these into work for her OP.

 

[TheSpoiler]

No but your post seemed to suggest to me that simply doing a search of someone's name is in and of itself problematic, regardless of context. Within the context of the OP, yes, he messed up.

The post I was responding to was only in reference to the OP's situation, and so was mine. Nothing in my post states anything different. Could you please point out where in my post where I removed the context? Thanks.

 

[BossLackey]

Why did you think it was a good idea to casually let her know you "e-stalked" her?!

Your level of self awareness is woefully lacking my friend. Please sort that out.

 

[TheOfficeMut]

The post I was responding to was only in reference to the OP's situation, and so was mine. Nothing in my post states anything different. Could you please point out where in my post where I removed the context? Thanks.

Ooooooooooooooookay so clearly I misunderstood your post. Considering many posts in this thread condemn simply the act of searching someone, I took your post to condemn the same thing.

 

[Yung Dolphin]

This is accurate

 

[EstoyBlackWaldo]

I think the term "stalking" is blown way out of proportion in this thread.


This is what I know as the definition of stalking:

"Stalking is unwanted or obsessive attention by an individual or group towards another person. Stalking behaviors are related to harassment and intimidation and may include following the victim in person or monitoring them."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stalking


Assholes who follow you and are obsessed about you and stuff like that. Or send you letters, phone you 20 times a day, etc.

Stalking comes in different flavors, and this is one of them.

 

[Solo]

She thinks you're stalking her because you're stalking her.

 

[ScatheZombie]

You are an idiot.

Says the guy equating a business acquiring the legal right to run a background check on a prospective employee to an individual doing the same thing to a girl he's already been previously rejected by.

Or a woman making sure she's not gonna get raped by a potential date she barely knows to a guy e-stalking a coworker who he views as a potential sexual conquest but who has given zero indication of reciprocity.

The mental gymnastics needed to even remotely compare your examples to what the OP, and apparently other people on GAF, do is actually impressive in its own way.

I think the term "stalking" is blown way out of proportion in this thread.


This is what I know as the definition of stalking:

"Stalking is unwanted or obsessive attention by an individual or group towards another person. Stalking behaviors are related to harassment and intimidation and may include following the victim in person or monitoring them."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stalking


Assholes who follow you and are obsessed about you and stuff like that. Or send you letters, phone you 20 times a day, etc.

It was clearly unwanted.
It was arguably obsessive (given both the means used and timeframe).
She clearly felt harassed and/or intimidated.
He fact checked what she said in the fucking bathroom, which is absolutely 'monitoring'.

How the hell is this not, by your own definition, stalking? I literally just checked off nearly all the boxes.

 

[Thebeardofknowledge]

This sounds like a perfect thread for the GIF legend

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Says the guy equating a business acquiring the legal right to run a background check on a prospective employee to an individual doing the same thing to a girl he's already been previously rejected by.

Or a woman making sure she's not gonna get raped by a potential date she barely knows to a guy e-stalking a coworker who he views as a potential sexual conquest but who has given zero indication of reciprocity.

The mental gymnastics needed to even remotely compare your examples to what the OP, and apparently other people on GAF, do is actually impressive in its own way.



It was clearly unwanted.
It was arguably obsessive (given both the means used and timeframe).
She clearly felt harassed and/or intimidated.
He fact checked what she said in the fucking bathroom, which is absolutely 'monitoring'.

How the hell is this not, by your own definition, stalking?

Even if it's not "technically" stalking it's creepy as fucking hell and I'd be having a conversation with HR if someone did the same thing to me. You're right on the money though: There's a context to this that makes it fucking disgusting. She's a coworker who has given zero indications of being interested. Why look her up like that? Creepy AF.

Think about what site you're on.

 

[sibarraz]

I have "stalked" through facebook watching pics and the like but I have never went to the extreme of searching personal data, that sounds creepy.

Also, I have learnt that you can know when someone stalks you in facebook, lots of ties I have seen someone that I have met on person with no online or physical friends in common appear as a recommended friend

 

[norinrad]

Anyone living in the same state as OP?

I suggest you take him out for a drink and talk some sense into him before he's escorted by security to the exit door with his things in an old Ikea bag.

 

[TheOfficeMut]

Says the guy equating a business acquiring the legal right to run a background check on a prospective employee to an individual doing the same thing to a girl he's already been previously rejected by.

Or a woman making sure she's not gonna get raped by a potential date she barely knows to a guy e-stalking a coworker who he views as a potential sexual conquest but who has given zero indication of reciprocity.

The mental gymnastics needed to even remotely compare your examples to what the OP, and apparently other people on GAF, do is actually impressive in its own way.



It was clearly unwanted.
It was arguably obsessive (given both the means used and timeframe).
She clearly felt harassed and/or intimidated.
He fact checked what she said in the fucking bathroom, which is absolutely 'monitoring'.

How the hell is this not, by your own definition, stalking?

First of all, do not misconstrue what I said. Very early on I stopped referring to the OP's particular instance and began discussing simply the idea of searching someone's name. I brought up my employment only to demonstrate how much information can be acquired through Google, not to suggest they're the same thing. But even so, the information I find at work and the information I can find outside of work are available through the same means (Google and other public databases).

The OP was deluded into thinking mentioning it to his coworker was appropriate when it wasn't. I've said that plenty of times. I agree with many people here on that front. Stop pretending I haven't said that.

I find absolutely no issue with the act of searching someone's name online but I do take issue with the OP and how he handled himself. To his coworker, yes, that may constitute stalking. But I do not consider it stalking to simply research someone so long as you do not use that information to defame, harass, threaten, manipulate, and impersonate that person. You should keep it to yourself.

 

[Captain Smoker]

Stalking comes in different flavors, and this is one of them.

I can't agree, at least not to the term "stalking", the term is just too strong in my opinion.

This is less about the action than terminology for me.


I saw a documentary about a TV-model here in Germany which was harassed by a stalker and know other stories, this is like hell, I despise these fuckers. (Edit: And female stalkers are bad aswell)


Looking someone up because you found a people-search-engine for the first time and you are curious which people work? Not that creepy, it's bad luck how he framed what he did.

The larger problem is the existence of this page to begin with.



If OP isn't some predator-asshole-stalker and did it out of curiosity I don't see the big deal, but this is my opinion.


Edit: I agree that it get's more creepy the less you know someone if I'm honest, don't tell them at least lol.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

I stalk everyone I meet. The difference between OP and I is I can keep my secrets a secret.

 

[commedieu]

Lol.

 

[EstoyBlackWaldo]

I can't agree, at least not to the term "stalking", the term is just too strong in my opinion.

This is less about the action than terminology for me.


I saw a documentary about a TV-model here in Germany which was harassed by a stalker and know other stories, this is like hell, I despise these fuckers. (Edit: And female stalkers are bad aswell)


Looking someone up because you found a people-search-engine for the first time and you are curious which people work? Not that creepy, it's bad luck how he framed what he did.

The larger problem is the existence of this page to begin with.



If OP isn't some predator-asshole-stalker and did it out of curiosity I don't see the big deal, but this is my opinion.


Edit: I agree that it get's more creepy the less you know someone if I'm honest.

The big deal is how she felt, not how anyone here feels about it, or what the word by basic definition means.

Semantics could be argued but they won't. In her eyes, I'm sure she wasn't comfortable, and she called him a stalker, according to the OP.

So therefore in this scenario OP is stalking OP is a stalker.

 

[LakeEarth]

There's a pretty girl that I used to work with (unrelated to story), and one time while creeping her Facebook profile I accidentally liked a picture and did not realize it. And this was a photo from like 5 years earlier, so I had no good excuse when she brought it up the next day. It was awkward.

If it were a bikini pic I probably would've had to have quit then and there.

 

[TheOfficeMut]

The big deal is how she felt, not how anyone here feels about it, or what the word by basic definition means.

Semantics could be argued but they won't. In her eyes, I'm sure she wasn't comfortable, and she called him a stalker, according to the OP.

So therefore in this scenario OP is stalking OP is a stalker.

Yes, the girl is right to feel stalked or violated. Had the OP kept to himself, it would have been a different story.

 

[LionPride]

Yes, because people who play videogames shouldn't possibly be able to operate successfully in our society. Excellent point.

This thread has me shaking my head from the first post to the last.

I do note, though, that my company has everyone's home address listed in our employee directory.

Have you never been on OT. Hell even Gaming Side. Lotta folks don't have social skills.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

I do note, though, that my company has everyone's home address listed in our employee directory.

Same here. But if I go up to a girl I'm crushing on and recite her home address she's still gonna look at me like I'm a creeper if I memorize that information for no work related reason.

Context matters.

Doubt it? Go look up some coworker and call their phone and just try to shoot the shit. When they ask "Um, how did you get my number" tell them you looked em up in the company directory then attempt to engage in a conversation like nothing is wrong. Let us know how that goes...

 

[Chococat]

If OP isn't some predator-asshole-stalker I don't see the big deal, but this is my opinion.


Edit: I agree that it get's more creepy the less you know someone if I'm honest.

The online information gather and then revealing could be hand waved away as being social inept.

But the follow up "Sharing how I got that information didn't go well when moments later in the bathroom she goes to a coworker "You wouldn't believe what Jaded just did : Before he asked me out and now he's stalking me."

How does he know what she said in the bathroom? Combined, that make his actions stalker like.

For the co-worker how he looked up information on, she has every right to assume based on his admitted actions and words, he could be a stalker. Not all guys are stalkers, but the OP dropped a huge red flag to this women. She has every right to defensive. She doesn't know jack about him.

 

[Aselith]

Anyone living in the same state as OP?

I suggest you take him out for a drink and talk some sense into him before he's escorted by security to the exit door with his things in an old Ikea bag.

You're suspect, norinrad! How did you know he loves Ikea?

 

[Ganhyun]

There's a pretty girl that I used to work with (unrelated to story), and one time while creeping her Facebook profile I accidentally liked a picture and did not realize it. And this was a photo from like 5 years earlier, so I had no good excuse when she brought it up the next day. It was awkward.

If it were a bikini pic I probably would've had to have quit then and there.

another example of why creeping is not a good idea.

 

[commish]

Same here. But if I go up to a girl I'm crushing on and recite her home address she's still gonna look at me like I'm a creeper if I memorize that information for no work related reason.

Context matters.

Not to defend the OP, but that's not even what happened. He just knew the birth month (OR SO HE SAYS.... DUN DUN DUNNNN) Regardless, I think we can all agree that looking up anyone's home address is going too far, and really serves no purpose other than to, I guess, stalk someone. Or send them flowers!

 

[Captain Smoker]

The online information gather and then revealing could be hand waved away as being social inept.

But the follow up "Sharing how I got that information didn't go well when moments later in the bathroom she goes to a coworker "You wouldn't believe what Jaded just did : Before he asked me out and now he's stalking me."

How does he know what she said in the bathroom? Combined, that make his actions stalker. At the very least, dude needs to learn about personal boundaries.

Yeah I agree to that part, didn't read it.

If it's just about the people-search-engine I'd interpret it as curiosity.

For the co-worker how he looked up information on, she has every right to assume based on his admitted actions and words, he could be a stalker. Not all guys are stalkers, but the OP dropped a huge red flag to this women. She has every right to defensive. She doesn't know jack about him.

I agree to that, I was talking about this topic on a general note though.

I can't argue against the womens feelings (and don't see a reason anyway), because he presented himself pretty bad in this situation.

My point was the terminology.


My girlfriend knew some stalkerish guy aswell who was a regular in her restaurant, some behaviours are fucking creepy.

 

[outunderthestars]

Why did you think it was a good idea to casually let her know you "e-stalked" her?!

Your level of self awareness is woefully lacking my friend. Please sort that out.

It's almost more creepy to lack the self awareness to let it go this far than the act of looking up the address.

I'm not gonna ask why you looked her up OP. but why would you tell her that you did? You must know how weird that would sound.

about that.....

I
I consider myself at least mildly intelligent, and thanks to GAF and YouTube I feel I have a solid understanding for most things in the world.

 

[Gravy Boat]

Yes, because people who play videogames shouldn't possibly be able to operate successfully in our society. Excellent point.

This thread has me shaking my head from the first post to the last.

I do note, though, that my company has everyone's home address listed in our employee directory.

It's not that people on Gaf play video games, but threads like 'A girl just asked for my number and I find her attractive, what should I do?' are pretty common. There was once a thread with filled with people telling a guy to break up with his girlfriend because she asked him to hold her handbag once. Gaf is full of people who clearly have no idea how to act in even the most basic of social situations.

#notallgaffers, obviously, but some of the threads that pop up are sad and frightening in equal measure.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Not to defend the OP, but that's not even what happened. He just knew the birth month (OR SO HE SAYS.... DUN DUN DUNNNN) Regardless, I think we can all agree that looking up anyone's home address is going too far, and really serves no purpose other than to, I guess, stalk someone. Or send them flowers!

Word. The point is looking up a coworkers personal info (public availability is irrelevant) for no legit work related reason is creepy. Telling them you did this is just ineptitude. Being shocked they're upset is more ineptitude.

 

[The Salt Life]

I do note, though, that my company has everyone's home address listed in our employee directory.

For everyone to see? That doesn't seem right at all and a recipe for disaster.

 

[commish]

It's not that people on Gaf play video games, but threads like 'A girl just asked for my number and I find her attractive, what should I do?' are pretty common. There was once a thread with filled with people telling a guy to break up with his girlfriend because she asked him to hold her handbag once. Gaf is full of people who clearly have no idea how to act in even the most basic of social situations.

#notallgaffers, obviously, but some of the threads that pop up are sad and frightening in equal measure.

Yeah but I would argue that this is the case with a percentage of the population anywhere, not just gamers or on GAF. Some folks are just socially inept. I don't think linking it to gaming is valid, at least not in 2017.

But come on, we all know those "this girl wants to touch me, what do i do" threads are great.

For everyone to see? That doesn't seem right at all and a recipe for disaster.

What kind of world do you guys live in where this would be a recipe for disaster? Do you think that most people are stalkers or something? If you are a stalker, you don't need an employee directory to find out where someone lives. Look at how enterprising our OP was!

 

[Barzul]

I just told my girl about this ate and it's kinda scary how much details it has about her on there. Amazing that this is supposedly all public record too. Geez. And OP yeah how did you think what you did would be taken any other way than stalking, you barely know her.