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Virgin tight?

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Dilly said:
Yes, but I can't imagine it turning said person in someone smooth enough to get a one night stand or a lot of dating all of the sudden just because he payed a prostitute for sex.

I can only see it helping with the 'anxiety' of being physical with someone.
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Oh it's far from a one-step solution. And I would never suggest paying for it to get there because that won't do much to help you feel more comfortable about sex and the pursuit thereof. It's just that many people put a tremendous amount of importance on that first time to the point that losing virginity becomes a quest to Mount Doom. It's just way too much pressure and hype for a moment in time that will most likely be brief and awkward for both partners.

Get that out of the way and you quickly realize that most people aren't pro sex athletes.
 
ascii42 said:
If it's like a bottle of ketchup, I guess sex just splatters everywhere. Or you do. I'm not sure I'm following the analogy properly.
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Your dick will turn in to the sexual version of this:

300px-dowsing-stick2.jpg


aka a dowsing dick.
 
I think the tone of this thread just shows that generally there is a LOT of societal pressure to not be a virgin, whether it's music, movies, friends, whatever. Generally people equate being a virgin with being awkward, anti social, ugly, or what have you. So I can definitely understand the sour tone in this thread because some do believe something is wrong with THEM for not losing their virginity.

And also generally these threads turn into self help/admittance threads where people to talk about all their hang ups socially, physically, mentally and yes it ends up being very dim, and sometimes taking a dark turn.

We've had people who sound super depressed, who sound angry, who sound afraid, and who have obvious body image issues along with people making fun of them and mocking them. Can you imagine, even in this thread about virginity you're still mocked? It's no wonder.
 
Kimawolf said:
I think the tone of this thread just shows that generally there is a LOT of societal pressure for a man to not be a virgin, whether it's music, movies, friends, whatever. Generally people equate being a virgin with being awkward, anti social, ugly, or what have you. So I can definitely understand the sour tone in this thread because some do believe something is wrong with THEM for not losing their virginity.

And also generally these threads turn into self help/admittance threads where people to talk about all their hang ups socially, physically, mentally and yes it ends up being very dim, and sometimes taking a dark turn.

We've had people who sound super depressed, who sound angry, who sound afraid, and who have obvious body image issues along with people making fun of them and mocking them. Can you imagine, even in this thread about virginity you're still mocked? It's no wonder.
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Everything else was on the money, but I think this is an important detail.
 
Well there are multiple reason's this happens that are not totally silly.

One is fear of stds or pregnancy. Granted we don't live in the stone age and can get protection, but the type of and ways you can get stds is pretty vast. Plus, one drunk night out without common sense and you can be a dad!.

The other is simply lack of opportunity. If no one is interested in you then your only choice is to pay for it, which is well... kinda lame.

But if it's just for purity sake or not wanting to go to hell, it just seems silly. At least for me.

If you find the right girl you are comfortable with and not a total dumb ass about taking the proper precautions.. then have at it.

Oh, and if people want to wait, leave them alone. They don't deserve such grief.
 
20 years old, never been in a relationship. Here's a quick rundown and you'll probably see why.

Raised in traditional Chinese family, sex-after-marriage-only is actually a thing, went abroad at 9, got bullied and self-esteem hit rock bottom.

Went back to china 3 years later, attended high school there, traditional marriage is still a thing. Dating is essentially forbidden in high school, even if I wanted a girl, the amount of schoolwork that piles up and the pressure to get good grades makes it very difficult to maintain a relationship(I wanted to be a straight A student).

Came to Canada 5 years later, studied in 2 high schools within 1 year, had to take a shit ton of courses to get all the necessary credits to graduate, parents went back to china so I had to take care of myself.

Managed to get into a good university program with co-op, incidentally it's one of the hardest programs in the university and has a grand total of 10 girls out of 100 people. Co-op also means I'm moving to a different location every 4 months.

I've been working on my confidence problem ever since I started high school, I've become more outgoing and I work out when I get the chance, I also try my best to better myself in various fields so I won't be a bore to talk to. I have friends, male and female(one female has supposedly had a crush on me but I was too preoccupied with other things to care/notice)

I know that I'm limiting myself within a certain bubble of people, so I'm not meeting enough girls(or new people in general), but being social is easier said than done when you have lecture/assignment/job interviews/labs to attend to. I'd love to have a significant female in my life, but I can't bring myself to make it a top priority when my own life is at such an important point.

I should copy this to datingGaf for a laugh
 
Continuity said:
I know that I'm limiting myself within a certain bubble of people, so I'm not meeting enough girls(or new people in general), but being social is easier said than done when you have lecture/assignment/job interviews/labs to attend to. I'd love to have a significant female in my life, but I can't bring myself to make it a top priority when my own life is at such an important point.
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I'd say it would get easier when you end up working... but honestly, you sound like the sort of person who would kill themselves trying to do everyone's job and climb the ladder as fast as possible.

Relax a little, you could be dead tomorrow. Not just that, social development can be just as important as grades. That's a huge part of what university is for.

...and my transition into old man is complete. Bollocks. :(
 
hay babby u wansta got back 2 mah home n get our sexy and creating friction wash our genitals until day orggesm den we like fuk why we do dis.
 
Going to a hooker to get rid of your virgin status has to be one of the most stupid things I have ever heard.
 
almost 25 and still a virgin.
I almost lost it once but then i backed out the very last second, i got too scared.
My "friends" laughed at me and called me a pussy.
 
Kafarabo said:
almost 25 and still a virgin.
I almost lost it once but then i backed out the very last second, i got too scared.
My "friends" laughed at me and called me a pussy.
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Those "friends" seem like scum. I hope you don't waste your time associating yourself with them. Real friends take you for everything you are.
 
I am not traditional by any means, but I did not have sex until I was 22. I just did not find the right partner and was happy to wait. I did not have many girlfriends either, I met my first real girlfriend in grad school and she later became my wife. We have been together 19 years and super happy.

I'd admit I was a "late bloomer" meaning I was quite heavy in high school, but lost weight in college and I think became more confident and comfortable with myself. The key was that my group of friends never really pressured me or each other about having sex. Just a bunch of geeks that supported each other. Pretty unique now that I look back on it.

It happens when it happens and better to wait than force a bad relationship (or risk STD's).
 
Fezzan said:
No your not, you're ready when you're ready. It's not like it's a race ( I know some would disagree)
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But I think I'm ready. The problem is that I can't seem to form a relationship to get to that point. I even have trouble making friends.

Kafarabo said:
almost 25 and still a virgin.
I almost lost it once but then i backed out the very last second, i got too scared.
My "friends" laughed at me and called me a pussy.
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I'm the same age. At least you have friends. I'm pretty much all alone.
 
Vox-Pop said:
But I think I'm ready. The problem is that I can't seem to form a relationship to get to that point. I even have trouble making friends.


I'm the same age. At least you have friends. I'm pretty much all alone.
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You're still not a loser, no need to put yourself down.
 
Baraka in the White House said:
The bigger problem in just about all these cases seems to be crippling isolation and anxiety rather than any ineptitude with the opposite sex.
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In my case, it's really the later. I have friends at work that I've hung out with. I don't usually have problems talking to girls. It's just the act of actually getting a girl interested in me that has me completely flummoxed. My biggest problem socially speaking is probably that I'm not good with talking with people I don't know, at least until I can figure out common interests or whatever.
 
JokerOfSpades said:
Duh. :p
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And depressionGAF has to realize that leaving VirginGAF isn't what is/should be their objective for leaving depressionGAF. They need to work on that depression and improve the quality of their life before they'll actually be happy and attract someone. People make the mistake of thinking leaving virginGAF will help them with depressionGAF, and most of the time that won't be the case.
 
Vox-Pop said:
I'm the same age. At least you have friends. I'm pretty much all alone.
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Well, im still living at home, and most of the time I just go out with my parents to eat and stuff.

I even go with them to the gym sometimes. Kinda awkward when my parents bump into their friends and Im with them. Their friends always say im such a good son to always be around my parents; and their sons/daughters would never do that at this age.
 
If it makes anyone feel better, Hugh Hefner of playboy was 22 until he lost his virginity.

Tim Tebow is STILL a virgin

The latest bachelor (on the show the bachelor), looks like this:
8681_1348689697.jpg
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and is a virgin.

Granted, it more so by choice..which is kind of different.

David Gandy, The worlds number 1 male model (highest grossing revenue), had women problems all throughout out his young adolescent life. He never had a girl friend before the age of 22, and lost his virginity shortly after.

david_gandy_paul_kehl.jpg


So I mean guys, just chill. It's a universal problem that affects everyone.
 
TUROK said:
Trust me, it's there. Not to say that doing one will fix the other, but it could help.
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The only connection to be had is the false assumption that getting laid will solve any problems you have. And if you're under that false assumption then that means you have other underlying issues that absolutely will not be helped by it, and will continue on even after you've had sex.
 
My thing with this sex = achievement unlocked? stuff here is that it's a matter of what you perceive to be important to you, which is shaped by our present western culture. The "achievement" part is just construct. Let me explain. first of all not everyone in the world thinks in uniformity about a sexual encounter/first time sexual encounter. In the US and the west, it is generally viewed that boys and girls should have sex and it is "right". If they don't, parents, friends, relatives or colleagues might think there's something wrong, etc. The media and our culture promotes this by tying societal acceptance with having sex. So when you do have sexy time for the first time, you feel "cool" and accepted, or part of the herd. This is the result of the sexual revolution of the 60's, where having sex before marriage was the defining characteristic of a youth disillusioned by the establishment and the painstaking norms of the old where the world is ruled by only Men (capital M). No kids allowed. Only Men do cool things. Men run businesses. Men are great. Men rule the world. Then Rock n Roll came along and really a paradigm shift happened. It gave the youth a voice.

I'm not saying that sex outside marriage did not happen at all before 1950 in the US. I'm talking about a general perception of it changing completely in the US. But in many parts of the world, the world is still ruled by Men (figuratively). In these places, sex outside marriage is seen as a shameful act that will bring dishonor and drag the family name in the mud. You are an outcast if you have pre-marital sex, instead of being the "cool" guy in the west. People will label you all sorts of names. This is their perception according to their cultural influences. The sexual revolution or the demystification of Man's Dominance hasn't happened in these countries. But slowly we see their societies also becoming greatly influenced by the west due to the pervasiveness of our music, movies, TV, books and now the internet. I'm not passing judgment on western cultures vs eastern cultures. It's just how our societies took shape.

It's important to know why we view sex like we do, especially if it's the first time. It's all about how society perceives it. So if you're thinking "boohoos I'm a lonely nerd and I will die", don't. The pressures are making you feel that way. Think about it. If you were born in a different culture or sometime before 1940, you'd be the paragon of greatness.
 
zethren said:
The only connection to be had is the false assumption that getting laid will solve any problems you have. And if you're under that false assumption then that means you have other underlying issues that absolutely will not be helped by it, and will continue on even after you've had sex.
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Who's even saying that getting laid will cure their depression?

And once again, it's not the only connection. Involuntary celibacy (yep, that's a real term) can lead to strong feelings of inadequacy.
 
TUROK said:
Who's even saying that getting laid will cure their depression?

And once again, it's not the only connection. Involuntary celibacy (yep, that's a real term) can lead to strong feelings of inadequacy.
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It's brought up here (GAF), someone even thought hiring a prostitute would fix their problems and found they regretted it and fixed very little if anything.

If the rest of your life is in order then I'd bet "involuntary celibacy" wouldn't have a major effect on your feeling of adequacy. In fact, if the rest of your life is in order then you probably wouldn't be an involuntary celibate (which is what I'm saying). Nobody wants to be with someone who is depressed, or feels inadequate, or has self worth issues. It's a vicious cycle that can be addressed by improving the rest of your life, and in the process will likely lead to you forming a relationship with someone because you'll likely be a much more attractive person as a result.
 
zethren said:
And depressionGAF has to realize that leaving VirginGAF isn't what is/should be their objective for leaving depressionGAF. They need to work on that depression and improve the quality of their life before they'll actually be happy and attract someone. People make the mistake of thinking leaving virginGAF will help them with depressionGAF, and most of the time that won't be the case.
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Great post. I get so sick of the "you gotta get laid" mentality as if depression has such a simple cure. Odds are if this person is so emotionally unstable he may get too attached or if its turns into more than sex possibly ruin the relationships with his insecurities. Its more important to figure out how to be happy first. Who gives a fuck what some idiots with simplistic judgmental minds think about your virginity. It should really be the last of your worries at that point. And believe it or not there are some virgins that pass up opportunities for personal reasons. They aren't all depressed, scared people with no social skills. Some people lives just don't revolve around getting laid.
 
zethren said:
The only connection to be had is the false assumption that getting laid will solve any problems you have. And if you're under that false assumption then that means you have other underlying issues that absolutely will not be helped by it, and will continue on even after you've had sex.
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It will solve the problem with still being a virgin.
 
I got a hard time believing that getting a hooker is gonna somehow flip the switch for someone. I know someone who has only had sex with a hooker and he's just as lame as ever.
 
jorma said:
Did you even read the posts from the virgins in the thread?
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Yes, and I was joking. The problem is the fact that they actually percieve it as a problem. They have other issues that need working on in that case. Just because you think something is a problem doesn't actually mean it is the problem.

^Yes, it's a delusion. Exactly.
 
zethren said:
If the rest of your life is in order then I'd bet "involuntary celibacy" wouldn't have a major effect on your feeling of adequacy. In fact, if the rest of your life is in order then you probably wouldn't be an involuntary celibate (which is what I'm saying). Nobody wants to be with someone who is depressed, or feels inadequate, or has self worth issues. It's a vicious cycle that can be addressed by improving the rest of your life, and in the process will likely lead to you forming a relationship with someone because you'll likely be a much more attractive person as a result.
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Not true at all. My life is in disarray, I'm angry and aggressive all the time, and the rest of my life is in relative disorder, yet for some reason now is the time when I'm actually finding that women are attracted to me, have actually had a few propositions thrown my way, and have actually had contact with a girl for once.

A stark contrast to 5 or so years ago, when I was more confident, hopeful, and happy, yet couldn't get a girl to give me the time of day.

Just like how simply losing one's virginity probably won't fix depression, being happier doesn't necessarily mean you're in a position to get laid, or be in a relationship, for that matter.
 
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