So, a hooker propositioned me for $2 last night...

Status
Not open for further replies.
Hate to be the one to tell you this, but by you asking "how much" you're the one that propositioned her, dude. Hate to send that blow to your ego, but you're just a regular dude. No Soviet Russian whores propositioning Johns going on here.
 
You messed this all up. You get them in your car, drive someplace secluded like the warehouse district, do the deed, pay her, get out of the car with a bat, beat her down, pick up your money off the ground, get back in your stolen Banshee, and start driving. After about a block your cousin Roman will call you to hang out. Go hang out with him. Or Brucie Kibbutz, whoever calls first.
 
Dali said:
Hate to be the one to tell you this, but by you asking "how much" you're the one that propositioned her, dude. Hate to send that blow to your ego, but you're just a regular dude. No Soviet Russian whores propositioning Johns going on here.
Click to expand...

Buh..buh....But she started it!
 
ryan13ts said:
I went to Memphis to hang out with some friends last night (I live in Jonesboro, about an hour away) and we hit up a few bars. As the night was coming to an end, I started to walk back to my car by myself. A very haggered and worn looking woman was standing on the corner near where I parked. As I got closer to her, she came up to me and said something a long the lines of "Hey baby, you looking for fun?", I can't remember the exact words. Of course I had no intention of picking up this tramp, but I was slightly tipsy and entertained, so for the hell of it I asked how much and she responded "$2".

I almost lost my shit, I had to contain myself because I thought I might accidentally puke on her from laughing so hard. I gave her a hardy "No Thank you" and made my way back to my car, imagining in my head the amount of STD's this woman had to have by charging someone 2 bucks. I've heard jokes about it but I never thought I'd meet a $2 hoe in the flesh. Talk about taking desperation to a whole new level.....

Needless to say, that made my night.
Click to expand...

Of COURSE, this happens in the city I live in...
 
A week ago, a lady (with a similar description, probably a bit drunk) stopped a friend and me from crossing the street. She said, "Don't be scared" and she asked if she could sing to us for a dollar. We politely declined and tried to walk around her, and she stepped in front of us, saying, "Where are you going so fast?" The only thing I could say was, "Umm... We have to go over there..." and left.

OP's story reminded me of that.
 
ryan13ts said:
I asked how much and she responded "$2".

I almost lost my shit, I had to contain myself because I thought I might accidentally puke on her from laughing so hard.
Click to expand...

So the next one to walk by was propositioned for $1 ?


Or did you tell her you wanted to spend a lot more ?

Can't imagine what went through her mind
 
Jarmel said:
Do you offer hookers tips? Is 20% expected for good service? How do you define good service? A bonus for licking the balls?
Click to expand...
killingthemsoftlygandzti9n.jpg


"You want a tip? Then put the condom on with your mouth and stop acting like your anus is the national treasure."
 
A somewhat rough-looking older woman approached me in a parking garage over the weekend; I was in my car, so I rolled down the window an inch or two. She said she was hungry, waiting for the bus, but needed $18 for a hamburger. I gave her a $5 and told her that I hope that helps her get some food.

LIFE.
 
Soka said:
A somewhat rough-looking older woman approached me in a parking garage over the weekend; I was in my car, so I rolled down the window an inch or two. She said she was hungry, waiting for the bus, but needed $18 for a hamburger. I gave her a $5 and told her that I hope that helps her get some food.

LIFE.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure if this is a serious post or not. But $18 for a burger? What.
 
Close your eyes, look deep in your soul, step outside yourself and let your mind go.

Frozen eyes stare deep in your mind as you die
 
Honestly, I doubt she was a hooker. I bet it was a woman on her way home after some shit shift that noticed a guy who was absolutely wasted fiddling with his keys trying to get into his car. The woman, worried that he would kill someone driving in his state, pretended she was a hooker in the hopes that as she leads him away from the area (and ditches him soon after) it will give him time to sober up and put no one in danger.

Unfortunately her price was too high for our broke OP, and she could do nothing but watch and worry as he drove off into the night, likely to barrel into a group of small schoolchildren.
 
It might have been funny at the time but it doesn't seem all that hilarious on when it's all typed out. I think I'd just be sad to see someone that desperate.
 
Soka said:
A somewhat rough-looking older woman approached me in a parking garage over the weekend; I was in my car, so I rolled down the window an inch or two. She said she was hungry, waiting for the bus, but needed $18 for a hamburger. I gave her a $5 and told her that I hope that helps her get some food.

LIFE.
Click to expand...

Lakitu said:
I'm not sure if this is a serious post or not. But $18 for a burger? What.
Click to expand...

I didn't know Godsbeard was a female prostitute!
 
ryan13ts said:
I went to Memphis to hang out with some friends last night (I live in Jonesboro, about an hour away) and we hit up a few bars. As the night was coming to an end, I started to walk back to my car by myself. A very haggered and worn looking woman was standing on the corner near where I parked. As I got closer to her, she came up to me and said something a long the lines of "Hey baby, you looking for fun?", I can't remember the exact words. Of course I had no intention of picking up this tramp, but I was slightly tipsy and entertained, so for the hell of it I asked how much and she responded "$2".

I almost lost my shit, I had to contain myself because I thought I might accidentally puke on her from laughing so hard. I gave her a hardy "No Thank you" and made my way back to my car, imagining in my head the amount of STD's this woman had to have by charging someone 2 bucks. I've heard jokes about it but I never thought I'd meet a $2 hoe in the flesh. Talk about taking desperation to a whole new level.....

Needless to say, that made my night.
Click to expand...

You should have nailed her so you could let the alcohol wear off. Preferably w/o a condom.

Were you drunk when you posted this?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

My Daughter's Mom Passed Away Last Night
2
50
3K
RJMacready73 replied
What makes Terminator 2 so timeless?
2 3
108
996
zaga replied
When exactly did language in entertainment get so profane? It bothers me.
2 3
106
364
falconhoof replied
How long did you first relationship last?
24
61
Bulletzen72 replied
Megadeth anounces last record and farewell tour.
News 
13
579
Kiwicha replied
Top Bottom