Best Account Suicides?

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SJRB

SJRB

Gold Member
Otrebor Nightmarecoat "enlightning" the Funny Pictures thread everytime his ban was lifted.
 
K

kurbaan

Banned
Marshall Lee said:
lmao


can some highlight the biggest points in this

not trying to read a huge thread
Click to expand...

Summary from that thread:

We have 5 confirmed parties here:

JBaird
GF
GFSister
Friend from Belton
Friend from Ashland City



Summary. All times in CDT (Texas and most of Tennessee):

1:28am: JBaird states he has learned GF's car was rammed and windows broken. GF and Sister missing

1:33am: JBaird told cops have been called

1:45am: JBaird Tells GAF GF's parents are dead from age 16. They've apparently headed back to Tennessee to handle the estate

2:02am: JBaird claims completely out of loop of information

2:07am: We learn the GF's route started south of Dallas

2:13am: JBaird: "I have called". We're not told who though. We could assume police or the friend contacts

2:18am: JBaird says he will begin to contact news agencies and police

3:22am: JBaird confirms the GF is heading to Ashland City, not Ashland

12:09pm: JBaird has learned that the GF's sister's body has been found, signs she has been raped

12:14pm: "Hold on. Where did you get this information? News source, friend or police?" JBaird:"Police"

12:50pm: JBaird claims body has been found "20 miles into the woods."

12:52pm: JBaird doesn't know when the body was found

12:54pm: "I gotta go ly dow,"

12:59pm: JBaird states he is home alone

1:02pm: "I do want to asy I dind get the report from the friend that the police said it" Report is from 'the friend'

1:04pm: JBaird states someone is coming to help him stay calm

1:08pm: "supposibly the friends dad is the chief of police." Phrasing suggests it is 'the friend' he mentions earlier

1:10pm: Claims he will call the police, implies Ashland City Police

1:15pm: "I just got off the phone with ashland county dispatch and they said they don't know of anyhtign in ashland or june county, but she was 30 miles outside of ashland so idkw aht place that would put her at." There is no Ashland or June counties in Tennessee (or Texas for that matter). Who did he call?

1:23pm: Asks about a Jude County being nearby. There isn't a Jude County in Tennessee (or Texas) either.

1:26pm: Claims to call Cheatham County sheriff, states they give him the Dispatch number he called earlier.

1:28pm: "I texted the friend and she hasnt repsonded back. I hope she was fucking lying." Again referenced to as 'the friend'

1:34pm: "No it was from the friend, I know I am probably fucking stupid for trusting her"
Again referenced to as 'the friend'

1:36pm: "I have no idea of her friends name, I haven't even really heard about her till today."
'The friend' is not even known by the OP. Since he only started speaking to her 'today', I wonder if she was also the one who told him about the accident or not. Literally it could be seen as correct based on the times.

1:41pm: "searchin computer right now i hope he doesnt find anythin" referencing Tennessee Highway Patrol looking for any reported accidents based on GF's name and association with license plate.

1:44pm: "Just got off the phone with highway patrol and they said they haven't found a car registered with her name in the past 48 hours."

1:55pm: JBaird told by Nashville Dispatch ("or whatever i was directed to") to contact local police and request a teletype.

2:00pm: "I didn't know the girls number and she didn't get mine, I was told through a friend that talked to her and she gave me the number."
At this point, we have two 'friends' now providing info. One who I am assuming initially told JBaird of the accident (we are led to assume this is the 'friend from belton') and gave him the number of the other friend (the one in ashland city). Posts earlier did not suggest this. This means one of three things: 1) Collusion by both friends, 2) One friend [Belton] believed the other friend's [Ashland City] lie, 3) OP is lying.

2:15pm: "I had no idea they were missing, the trip was going to take her 2 days and she said she would call when she got there so I had nothing to suspect. I talked to her friend here in belton yesterday and she hadnt talked to her either, thats when we started to try to find out."

2:17pm: "I don't know her family, she moved here from Tennessee when she was 16 after her parents died and the only closest relative that I know about is her aunt that lives outside of austin and I don't know her number."

2:25pm: We are told the person JBaird contacted to keep him calm has arrived by this point

2:31pm: We learn the GF's sister has a son.

2:33pm: "Yeah I'm a bit more calm, especially since the girl that told me this hasn't got back to me after saying I contacted the police and they didn't have any reports that fit the description."

2:35pm: The son of the GF's sister is staying with the friend 'talked about earlier'. It is implied this is the 'friend from Belton'.

2:41pm: "[The 'friend from Belton'] texted me first asking if I got a call from Brianna since no one has called [for 4 days], so yes we both found it very suspicious."

2:45pm: "That compounds onto my suspicion that it was a lie from the friend since I was told that it was filed, but apprently none of Tennessee police knows about it."
Which friend is this? We need to find out whether the friend from Belton or the friend from Ashland told him of the car crash first.

2:46pm: "I have contacted her 3 times already with text and phone call, there is no response."
Still not clear whether this is the friend from Belton or the friend from Ashland City.
Click to expand...

In-depth recap for those just tuning in:

1. JBaird posts that his girlfriend was driving to Tennessee and police found her car empty and wrecked.

2. GAF sympathizes with OP. Some even offer money and phone calls.

3. JBaird claims that his girlfriend's sister was murdered and raped, but still no sign of his girlfriend.

4. GAF mods determine that he posted from the police station with the same IP address as his home IP address.

5. GAF freaks out, and begins to truly doubt his story.

6. Mods convene and determine that it is possible to have the same IP with a mobile device.

7. JBaird posts girlfriends name, detective GAF goes on the prowl with mod's approval.

8. JBaird's girlfriend is on MySpace, online and alive.

9. JBaird, now caught/confused, doesn't know how that's possible.

10. Amir0x and many others message the girl, but with no response.

11. Amir0x gives JBaird a deal: Confess with minimal punishment or deny and face a permaban if there is no official information.

12. JBaird cries and moans about privacy...when he was the one who posted it all on the forum to begin with. He claims this is all true and does not take the deal.

13. JBaird gets defensive and starts ranting about how his top priority is to ensure the integrity of his girlfriend and his girlfriend's sister and that the mods remove all evidence of who these people are.

14. JBaird admits that the whole thing might not be true and that he might have been duped by his girlfriend.

15. GAF offers advice, and JBaird goes missing for a short while.

Mean jokes throughout, of course. I recommend reading the un-abridged version.
Click to expand...

And then Amirox says:

Update:

I am a honest guy and this person on his "girlfriend's" account replied (not to me but to another forum user, Kintaco).

In the interest in trying to actually decipher this hieroglyphic half-human half-alien speak, I am going to post this here. It actually makes the story make even less sense.

From: Kintaco..Date: Aug 19, 2010 2:36 AM

........I'm sure you have gotten plenty of messages regarding the discussion forum topic Jacob started, I still want to believe he was duped into thinking something happened to you and it was not his crazy ass making it all up. He has been banned since he "made up the story", just thought I'd let you know. If he was lying I would appreciate it if you let me know, thanks. Cheers.

::::Sweet Bri:::: (522442477)..To: Kintaco (31949748)..Date: Aug 18, 2010 7:45 PM..Subject: Re: Jacob Baird

..........who.are.u?why.c yal.keep.writn?n0.he.didnt.make.up.a.story.and.thi
s.is.her.friend.she.cant.find.her.sis ....

idk..i.gues.hes.suposd.to.b.wid.hz.mom

From: Kintaco
Date: Aug 19, 2010 3:33 AM

Her sister's son.......

From: ::::Sweet Bri:::: (522442477)..To: Kintaco (31949748)..Date: Aug 19, 2010 8:06 PM..Subject: Re: RE: Re: Jacob Baird

..........wat.son ....

From: Kintaco..Date: Aug 19, 2010 2:47 AM

I'm just a member in the discussion forum he was banned from. He posted his story trying to get some support and it turned ugly and people turned on him. But I believed him and I think it sucks that he was banned for "making up a story." I hope everything turns out ok. Are you the friend taking care of the son?......
Click to expand...

tried to break up the message to make it more readable but really I don't even...

Conclusions...

1. This "friend" of hers is just as incomprehensible as Bri is in all her myspace posts. Is it really Bri herself?
2. She didn't seem to know anything about any son
3. Why would her "friend" be using her account? I can't even begin to think of a logical reason for that.

All in all these responses just make the story even less plausible, but I thought GAF should weigh in a bit...
Click to expand...
 
R

Regiruler

Member
Jive Turkey said:
Wasn't the trade for a PSP and subsequent fallout what got olimario permabanned?

Also a poster named grubdog snapped around 2006 and he used an exploit to remove all negative posts about Nintendo and then he deleted the accounts of the more Nintendo critical posters. It was amazing to watch people disappear in realtime.
Click to expand...

There should be an interactive forum game involving this.

It would be temporary of course, but that could be loads of fun.
 
RiccochetJ

RiccochetJ

Gold Member
I think JBaird's is the most memorable for me in recent memory.

How he could have thought that it would have turned out any other way is beyond me.
 
S

shadowkat

Unconfirmed Member
I lurked on GAF a long time before getting an account but I always remember fistfulofmetal's permaban because I saw it happen. I don't think he meant it to be account suicide though.
 
H

Hypereides

Member
I think there was also some member with a handle like "wii will rock u" who got permed for being viral or using multiple accounts on GAF, and got busted by accident or something.
 
K

kurbaan

Banned
Holy Crap said:
From his post history, dude was going to ready to pop at any moment.
Click to expand...

That dude has a disturbing post history...

Curtisaur said:
I can't afford my medicine. Self harm stays on my mind. I have no motivation. I feel my existence is hollow.
Click to expand...

Curtisaur said:
Got a therapeutic sorta tattoo today. The sensation/feeling of getting it done was kinda like cutting but with something I actually wanted to show for it instead of embarrassing scars. I want more. But they cost money.
Click to expand...
 
H

HovaHovito

Banned
Sergiepoo said:
Not on GAF, but "keyboard goop."

I'm not going to link it because it's incredibly NSFW but you can google it if you really want to learn creative ways to clean your keyboard.
Click to expand...
This has me in tears
J5Xcj03h.jpg
 
P

Papercuts

fired zero bullets in the orphanage.
The himuro one I will never forgot. Saw that as the posts happened and laughed my ass off at how out of nowhere it started.
 
L

leroidys

Member
There was that one time that Dragona tried really hard to be a terrible mod until she was finally shown the door.

Does that count?
 
T

Thorgal

Member
godelsmetric said:
If I'm going to account suicide I will post photos of my dick.
Click to expand...

Considering the other examples in here that is pretty tame .
If you want to have a place in the GAF's hall of fame (shame? ) you are going to have to think of something much more outlandish and outrageous if you want to leave your mark behind or no one will remember you :p
 
B

Broder Salsa

Banned
Gamer @ Heart said:
Sometimes sites hosting pictures are assholes and switch them when they detect hotlinking.

I had that happen to me on the 1up boards. A picture of snuffleupagus i posted turned into goatsee. Luckily i had a good enough reputation that other posters had my back and told mods it must have been a mistake.
Click to expand...

Had the same happen (replace goatsee with tubgirl) back on the lionhead forums. Luckily also only got 1 day until they realized it was the hosting and that I wasn't hacked or anything.
 
J

Jeff Albertson

Member
Himuro may have been overly harsh but I'm betting a lot of people had felt similar

The post new pics thread had boiled down to Koshiba buys new hat, Koshiba poses before going out etc etc

I had never read her post last year about self image etc but it was annoying at the time
 
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