My Girlfriend Keeps Getting Stoned All Day and Playing Fallout

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Septimius said:
Ok, let's try to break it down a bit more than just the "talk to her" and "she sounds perfect"-responses, because one's been used enough, and the other is just completely irrelevant so long as OP doesn't enjoy it.

OP, it's obvious that you're not objecting to her playing a game. It seems that when she does it, you feel it affects the rest of the relationship. It's time to say that to her. You're not talking to her to say "you just smoke weed and play all the time", because that's judging her for what she's doing. That's not what it' about, so instead try and talk why it upsets you. If you feel you miss the companionship of cooking together (if you did that), or if you wonder why she stopped cooking - ask about it. Maybe she just grew tired of being the one that cooked?

Focus on figuring out what's going on. Maybe she's upset about something, and has surpressed it behind this game. Maybe she's not. Let her know you're there for her, but that you feel it's tolling when you're the only one keeping things tidy and that's making food etc. If you are doing that. Let her know you miss taking walks and doing things together, and that you'd love to do those sorts of things for her. Maybe she's feeling she lacks the energy to do those things herself? If you speak with her and realize that's what it is, maybe you can look out for her and you figure out what fun things the two of you can do together. After all, if you suggest doing something she'd really like, it's much easier for her to do it, than to figure out what she wants to do and then plan it, if she is feeling that she doesn't have the energy to do it.

Don't just let it simmer like this. You have the right to be unhappy with the way things are, but not in the sense that you should judge her for what she's doing, but rather that you wish to look out for her and the relationship in a way where you both look after each other.

Maybe the weed's irrelevant. Maybe the game is irrelevant. Maybe what you care about is that you're not doing stuff together. Maybe you've become to reliant that she cleans and cooks, and haven't noticed that you haven't been doing those things, yourself? It's not cool that she neglects the relationship, but it might not be malicious. Maybe she's just reacting poorly to something she hasn't been able to talk about.

Be there for her, now. let her know the current situation is bothering you, and hear what she has to say.
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if op is serious this is a good thing here
 
She looks cute, OP.
You got a keeper.

hello-darkness-jon-snow.gif
 
I don't understand this obsession of finding a girl that games or converting your significant other to play games. What's wrong of just having this hobby to yourself?
 
nel e nel said:
Learn to cook for and clean up yourself?
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Im wondering what you'd say if the roles were reversed in this case. Why should he have to clean up everything when she just wastes all her time gaming. If he did that he would be labelled a loser.
 
I swear, some of these comments make it seem like some posters have never been in a relationship or have had any social interaction at all.
 
nel e nel said:
Learn to cook for and clean up yourself?
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These are probably the shittiest replies. He's not complaining that he doesn't have a girlfriend who cooks and cleans, he's noting a change in the status quo from her behavior before (which included cooking and presumably cleaning or at least not making a mess) to getting high and playing videogames all night without concern for him.

I think the jokes about there being nothing wrong with the situation are funny, on a glib level- it's easy to daydream about having a girl who would get this into a good game in a sort of idealized way- but this is obviously a problem at the very least simply because it's a problem for her live-in partner. Suggesting the OP change his behavior to accomodate, essentially to enable her, kind of grinds my gears.
jasonng said:
I don't understand this obsession of finding a girl that games or converting your significant other to play games. What's wrong of just having this hobby to yourself?
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Well nothing's wrong with that. So little is wrong with it that I've employed that strategy in every relationship I've ever been in.

It'd just be a nice one to share considering how much fun it can be to play games with others; shared hobbies can in fact strengthen a relationship, and I have other hobbies I could have to myself.
 
You are living the dream my friend! Don't rock the boat!

I come home to a wife that doesn't cook, clean, or smoke herb AND she hates gaming. You are living in a regular Shangri-la!
 
I do this more than I would like to admit. Certain games turn on a switch and I can't stop until I'm finished. Usually it's the Zeldas, Souls, or good Obsidian or Bioware RPGs.

My girlfriend and I talked about it and came up with a few guidelines.
  1. No smoking while playing. If I want a cigarette I get up and hang out with her for a little bit.
  2. Eat together. No matter who is making the meal, we use it as a time out and hang out.
  3. If you want my attention for the night, plan or do something before I start playing.

A few simple things work for us. They are incredibly effective. If she says let's go out for dinner when you get home tomorrow, I will not even start the game that evening, because I know I'll get interrupted. When I stop for a smoke we end up talking for awhile and hearing about each others days before going back.

She will also start up some of her favorite games. If I start a Baldur's Gate playthrough she'll usually drag out her snes and play some classics.
 
Not to be the drive by post that this thread doesn't need but, what ever happened to playing together? Cuddling upon the couch, weed or not, game i've played or no, and backseat driving on a game my girlfriend is playing has always lead to some great nights.

Though I suppose the bigger issue I have with all of this is, if she's smoking and playing for hours on end every night, HOW THE FUCK IS SHE AFFORDING ALL THAT WEED? Weed ain't cheap.

SolidusDave said:
Would it be too kinky to fuck her from behind while she keeps playing the game?

Bonus points if she can maintain looking bored.
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This is my fetish
 
Yeah, I honestly regret posting about my own experiences in here. Someone posts serious (I assume) concerns about someone he loves wasting her days with trivial distractions and heavy weed consumption, and honest attempts by others at discussing issues like this are laughed away because of some very weird notions about women, drugs and videogames. Seeing a loved one waste their lives like that can be heartbreaking. We obviously can't tell if she has problems with facing reality, or addiction, or their relationship, but the fact that he's concerned for her says a lot. It's fine to do these things when you're in your teens or early twenties, but at some point you need to grow up a bit and focus on what's important. Especially if you're in an adult (I assume, since they're living together) relationship.

I'm probably overreacting because of my own experiences with this, but this was focused more on the people posting in here rather than the OP's post. Sometimes I forget that this forum can attract a very weird audience when it comes to certain issues.
 
nel e nel said:
Learn to cook for and clean up yourself?
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Why the fuck should he clean up after her? I'm assuming that's her mess. If it's the OP's then yeah it's not a valid complaint. I'm curious and a little scared to know what would happen if you just deleted her files.
 
Astral said:
Why the fuck should he clean up after her? I'm assuming that's her mess. If it's the OP's then yeah it's not a valid complaint. I'm curious and a little scared to know what would happen if you just deleted her files.
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That might actually be a good move. Make a copy of her saves, put them onto a flash drive, delete the save on the console, have her find out and then have a nice long discussion about devoting too much time to gaming and slacking off on basic responsibilities like cleaning up after yourself.

Though, that sounds like parenting rather than something you should have to do in a relationship.

Still though, I'd do it.
 
embalm said:
I do this more than I would like to admit. Certain games turn on a switch and I can't stop until I'm finished. Usually it's the Zeldas, Souls, or good Obsidian or Bioware RPGs.

My girlfriend and I talked about it and came up with a few guidelines.
  1. No smoking while playing. If I want a cigarette I get up and hang out with her for a little bit.
  2. Eat together. No matter who is making the meal, we use it as a time out and hang out.
  3. If you want my attention for the night, plan or do something before I start playing.

A few simple things work for us. They are incredibly effective. If she says let's go out for dinner when you get home tomorrow, I will not even start the game that evening, because I know I'll get interrupted. When I stop for a smoke we end up talking for awhile and hearing about each others days before going back.

She will also start up some of her favorite games. If I start a Baldur's Gate playthrough she'll usually drag out her snes and play some classics.
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Those are all really good ideas. You should quit smoking though.
 
The OP really needs to get his ass back here and give us more than these weird tidbits. All this rampant speculation was funny but it's getting silly now with so little to go on. Something about him taking that picture and quoting his GFs jokes seems a little...off but I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Just tell us more!
 
OP, plan a romantic date. Text her early in the afternoon requesting she doesn't make any plans that night. Convince her to trust your lead.

The two of you go out have some drinks, eat a great meal, smile and laugh, all the while rekindling what you felt you lost over the past month or however long. At the crescendo of the night, at the peak of romance, you lean in slightly. You say, with a seductive tone, "baby I miss this."

Nothing else needs to be said. She will understand the message. From there, I can't say what will happen. You are bound to discover something. However, OP I can guarantee one thing; you are most definitely rediscovering dat ass.

Now follow through and check back in a few! Godspeed!
 
Does the OP smoke weed as well? I am assuming yes based on the state of the apartment.

Has the OP attempted to hang on the couch with the GF while she is geeking out?

What does the OP do while the GF is geeking out? What are the OP hobbies?

Is the GF a real smoker or a social smoker? We talking an 8th a week or a half+ a week?
 
InfiniteBento said:
Its pretty hilarious how many people think that this situation makes this woman marriage material.
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If being able to play Fallout 3 for hours straight makes someone marriage material, most people in this thread are Beyoncé level marriage material.
 
Just let her burn her self out on the game, it sounds like she's probably never found something she's enjoyed this much before. At least in a long time, just let her enjoy it why would you take this away from her?

She'll be back to normal within the month.
 
try to fart in her ear

if she snaps out of her gaming session, she's clearheaded for 10 seconds and you can talk to her or even take the controller out of her hands and talk to her

if she doesn't, well, she's lost forever!
 
Fallout isn't the problem so ignore that part.

A little weed is fine, but when it starts to impact your life and have repercussions (i.e. your productivity, your relationships, your finances, etc), you need to stop. If you CAN'T stop, you are heading into addiction territory.

I would try to get her some help if that's the case.
 
I want your gf man!

My gf plays Puzzle quest every fucking night...and I mean EVERY night, she completed the game about 4 or 5 times (the game lenght is about 30 hours) and she keeps playing the damn thing...
 
RedNumberFive said:
You are living the dream my friend! Don't rock the boat!

I come home to a wife that doesn't cook, clean, or smoke herb AND she hates gaming. You are living in a regular Shangri-la!
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It sounds like you have a crappy situation and the original poster has a slightly less crappy situation.
 
Mesoian said:
Not to be the drive by post that this thread doesn't need but, what ever happened to playing together? Cuddling upon the couch, weed or not, game i've played or no, and backseat driving on a game my girlfriend is playing has always lead to some great nights.

Though I suppose the bigger issue I have with all of this is, if she's smoking and playing for hours on end every night, HOW THE FUCK IS SHE AFFORDING ALL THAT WEED? Weed ain't cheap.



This is my fetish
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There is a subreddit for that.
 
She's playing it on PS3, right? Don't worry, bro. She won't play it for too long. The lag gets so bad at a certain point that it becomes unplayable.
 
I'm just jealous that his girl is funny like that. But I'm not in any dealbreaker situations, so it's easy for me to see the humor in all of this. In fact I'm going to write all this down.

"Your speech level is not high enough..." Oh I'd have to attack her with tickles over that one.
 
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