12 Days of GAFMas 2018: Confessions

haxan7 said:
apparently I need to make some more confessions to get this thread back on track

ohh shit, I'm just realizing now Asympathetique changed his username. My mind is so blown here
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I don't speak Chinese so I now just know him as so it's not so nice.
 
嫩翼 said:
Asympathetique reflects a less positive time of my life, and it's also in a language I sometimes prefer not to speak these days (Français). These days, though, 我總是快樂然飛。Had to change it up!
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I thought it was a cool name. Oh well.

EDIT: 你想去哪里？
 
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Scopa said:
I thought it was a cool name. Oh well.

EDIT: 你想去哪里？
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I'm full of cool names. Now, at least I thought 4 years was a good run for that one, given my first name was "Striker_" haha.

對了 ! 料想居在臺灣甚麼時候發現幹活在一箇尊貴的職業
 
UHPKuZm.png


GAFfession #1​

I shit my pants 3 times in the 7th grade. But not in school. I refused to shit at school because I didn't want to use the toilets. They were nasty. All three times I made it no closer than my driveway before I filled my pants with hot soft serve. Why after the first time I thought chancing it was better than using the nasty toilets I don't know.
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GAFfession #2​

I once attempted to used a Tasty Kake Pie as a fleshlight. The Pie was room temp. But it was incredibly cold on my penis. I wasted a $1 pie : (
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GAFfession #3​

A few years back I had a friend come to visit in his fairly new fancy hatchback. Parking where I live is a bit of a bitch and so I was directed him when it came to backing his car up into a space but I forgot about this low wall at the end. My friend was a little too zealous and managed to crunch his back bumper against it right when he stopped. Needless to say he wasn't aware that he'd dented it, and so given the choice of letting him know, or keeping my mouth shut as the location was my suggestion, I opted for the latter and spent the weekend worrying about whether he'd notice. Thankfully he didn't however a few weeks later he did call me to bemoan the fact that some asshole had clearly backed into him and I had to play the sympathetic, surprised and consoling friend. I'm still waiting for my Academy award to arrive...
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Musky_Cheese said:
I think the Gafession was the you someone attempted to... not that they were successful.
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Hah proof that it wasnt me. I woulda at least warmed the pie up for like a minute to make sure that... you know what ill stop. Even if it wasn't me (which it wasn't) I fear that I've already said to much to redeem myself.
 
Osukaa said:
Hah proof that it wasnt me. I woulda at least warmed the pie up for like a minute to make sure that... you know what ill stop. Even if it wasn't me (which it wasn't) I fear that I've already said to much to redeem myself.
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The pie will tell us the truth!
 
嫩翼 said:
謝謝 。如果你趣味 , 我們相會頻繁有壹些漫談在這裏簡繁中文 。寧肯憑練習之呢 :messenger_crystal_ball:
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I have another confession to make...I've been living a lie.

I've been using Google Translate.


我很抱歉!
 
Scopa said:
I have another confession to make...I've been living a lie.

I've been using Google Translate.


我很抱歉!
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Lol I could tell! :messenger_grinning_squinting: there was an unorthodox (in context) character used in one of your earlier sentences (underlined/bolded):

Scopa said:
I thought it was a cool name. Oh well.

EDIT: 你想去哪里？
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which gave it away. Thanks for entertaining me, anyway. I'm a sucker for these conversations haha
 
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A few years back I had a friend come to visit in his fairly new fancy hatchback. Parking where I live is a bit of a bitch and so I was directed him when it came to backing his car up into a space but I forgot about this low wall at the end. My friend was a little too zealous and managed to crunch his back bumper against it right when he stopped. Needless to say he wasn't aware that he'd dented it, and so given the choice of letting him know, or keeping my mouth shut as the location was my suggestion, I opted for the latter and spent the weekend worrying about whether he'd notice. Thankfully he didn't however a few weeks later he did call me to bemoan the fact that some asshole had clearly backed into him and I had to play the sympathetic, surprised and consoling friend. I'm still waiting for my Academy award to arrive...
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could be an it's always sunny plot

Jroderton said:
img_5001.jpg


Now I get it.
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Not nearly tight enough, what were you thinking
 
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@ pants shitter: I know what you mean regarding holding your pooping. Ive only recently gotten over my fear of pooping in public. can't say ive full blown shat myself though. you're a disgusting animal.

@ Pastryfucker: I mean, theres worse things your could have attempted to have sex with....and i bet this wasn't your first or last time experimenting.

@ asshole friend: sadly, you probably made the right move, granted it would have been more moral for you to fess up, and just pay him for your mistake.... i hope you made it up to your friend somehow unbeknownst to them later on though. like treated them to dinner randomly or something. definitely an accident. definitely a dick move to keep from them. lots of factors and ways to look at it though. sucks for both parties. glad i'm not your friend though, even if I could use another.


also: im gonna be picky here, and wish asymphantique or whatever you used to be called, because i cant pronounce your chinese characters: any way you can make the confessions sequentially numbered? or do they have to alwasy be numbers 1,2,3,.... each time
 
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xzEtPst.png


GAFfession #1​

My neighbors have dogs that roam the street and they shit in my yard constantly, long story short, I took matters into my own hands. I've been using my pooper scooper and picking up their dogs shit and have been chucking it back into their property when they're not home. I must say there is a large pile growing over there. Next step is I make a call and get those stupid beasts taken to the pound. Dumb asses won't listen to rental rules and landlords don't care. Whatev.
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GAFfession #2
​
Years ago I had a really bad breakup. This girl I loved and never told broke up with me over email! Of all things, I called her back and anyways naturally I was not happy and it turned me into a bit of a dick at the time that just lost interest in everything. Anyway that out the way I started hitting on a married woman cause fuck the world. One night she calls me up and asks to come over to my place to watch movies. So I said yep, drinks are on me. She said she was with her friend so I'm like sure bring her too. These women were about 10 years old than me. (I was in my 20's at the time) Anyways we're watching this movie and drinking when her friend whips me out and goes down on me. So we're going at it while the married woman strips and it turns into a threesome. Won't go too much more into the details but it was certainly a night I'll remember for a long time. Also found out her friend was on her period but I banged her anyway. Merry Christmas GAF!
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GAFfession #3
​
When I was a young boy I used to jerk off in my bedroom and never thought about using tissues or anything - I just came straight onto the carpeted floor of the closet each time. Eventually the carpet went all brown and started to smell and caught the attention of my mother. We moved house soon afterward and I wondered if it was because of the cum closet...
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​
 
@ shitty neighbor:
tenor.gif


man i'm having the same issue right now! people are lazy as fuck. owning a dog is a responsibility. clean the fuck up after them. I do. it makes the neighborhood and parks a much better place for everyone. about to take my first step in the line of action. and make a passive aggressive PSA post on the NextDoor app. Then I'll send some warnings. finally i'm going to set up cameras to take their pics letting their dogs shit on my yard and leaving it there, and post them to expose them.




@3way -
Joaquin-Phoenix-Thumbs-Up.gif


bloodfucking! cuh-lassic. more details needed in followup gafession please.



@ jizzinator -
giphy.gif
 
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heckmanimation said:
it is around here.

[vis_name][/vis_name] your challenge is to successfully use "cum closet" in a gaming-side thread
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I recently started playing Bioshock 2 remastered. I remember hearing horror stories about the quality of this port, but I've had no problems. Then 3 hours in BAM, the game crashed on me and locked up my computer. Reload. Get to the same place, BAM again, crash. So, I Google it. Turns out that the game is a constant crashing mess and has been since it released and 2K haven't done anything about it. No patches, no fixes.

They abandoned this game like a cum closet.
 
Scopa said:
I recently started playing Bioshock 2 remastered. I remember hearing horror stories about the quality of this port, but I've had no problems. Then 3 hours in BAM, the game crashed on me and locked up my computer. Reload. Get to the same place, BAM again, crash. So, I Google it. Turns out that the game is a constant crashing mess and has been since it released and 2K haven't done anything about it. No patches, no fixes.

They abandoned this game like a cum closet.
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6.5/10 tasty kakes

challenge failed. the fine print read "gaming-side thread". Scopa did not receive the Cum Closet Achievement.
 
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