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[Furyous]

Today is such a beautiful day. I was going to chill but fuck that. I've sat through 4 YEARS of shit talking from Heat stans who don't know who Alonzo Mourning is.

I’M SITTING HERE WAITING FOR THE LEBATARD SHOW TO START SIPPING ON EXPENSIVE TEQUILA.

*COMIC SANS FONT*

THE MIAMI HEAT STANS COULDN’T SHOW UP TO GAMES ON TIME WITH THREE ALL-STARS… IN… THEIR… PRIME (C) LEBATARD. FUCKING MIAMI HEAT HOME GAMES LOOKING LIKE PRACTICE SQUAD SCRIMMAGES ON NATIONAL TELEVISION FILLED WITH THE OPPOSING TEAM’S FANS.

FUCK THE HEAT

….


GIVE IT TO ME AGAIN, AGAIN,

WE HAVE JOHNNY EIGHTBALL, YOU HAVE CRYAN TANNEHILL.
OUR NFL GM ACTS WITH CLASS YOUR NFL GM IS AN ASS.
WE PLOW SNOW, YOU SNORT IT, FREQUENTLY, YOU COKE HEAD FUCKS.
WE HAVE THE LEGENDARY OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY YOU HAVE THE UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA AND FLORIDA STATE UNIVERSITY.
YOU WON A CHAMPIONSHIP WITH OUR COACH AND MVP AT THE HELM.
DAN LEBATARD HAS HEAD LICE.
STUGOTZ IS A CRAZY PERSON

GIVE IT TO ME AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN

RILES IS FINISHED AS A GM.
OUR SPORTS BAR IS FULL, YOU FUCKING PLEBEIANS.
RUN THE POINT NIGHT HAS AN ENTIRELY NEW MEANING NOW, DOESN’T IT?
ARE YOU OKAY AFTER GETTING POUNDED BY THE GIANT, ROYAL, PENIS?
YEAH YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED BUT YOUR CERVIX WON’T FEEL THE SAME FOR YEARS.
YOU’LL NEED SURGERY AND I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT DWADE’S KNEES.

AGAIN, BRING THAT SHIT BACK!

SPEAKING OF KNEES, WHO ELSE CAN YOU BEG TO COME TO MIAMI BY SUCKING THEM OFF?
EVERY FREE AGENT DRINKS WATER AND TAKES A LOT OF PROTEIN BECAUSE THE ONLY WAY YOU’RE CONVINCING A NOTEWORTHY FREE AGENT TO SIGN IN MIAMI IS A BOATLOAD OF WHITE.
TAKE IT ALL OVER YOUR FACE, GEISER LEVELS. IT'LL COME OFF AFTER INTENSE SCRUBBING.
SPEAKING OF BOATS, WE REMEMBER THE CLEVELAND JOKES ABOUT BURNING WATER.
TAR MATS ARE CURRENTLY ON BEACHES IN FLORIDA AND GOD KNOWS WHAT TOXINS ARE IN THAT WATER.
WE HONOR THE KING, YOU BOO HIM, YOU SYCOPHANTS.

GIVE IT TO ME AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN,

THE HEAT ARE GOING TO FUCKING SUCK FOR A GENERATION.
DWADE IS FUCKING DONE. FUCK HIM AND HIS DIRTY ASS. LEBRON WON’T COVER FOR HIM ANYMORE.
EVERY GOON IN THE NBA JUST HIT THE WEIGHT ROOM BECAUSE DWADE HAS A LOT OF CHECKS TO CASH COME GAME TIME.
GOOD LUCK OVERPAYING DWADE TO SAVE FACE.
THANK YOU FOR THE DRAFT PICKS.
FUCK YOUR REBUILD AS WELL. I WANT A 26 GAME LOSING STREAK. YOU CAN’T GIVE HEAT TICKETS AWAY TO HOMELESS PEOPLE THAT NEED SHELTER FROM THE WEATHER.

….

GIVE IT TO ME AGAIN!


ALL OF OHIO FEELS YOUR PAIN. NO, WE DON’T FUCK ALL OF Y’ALL. FUCK MIAMI. FUCK HIALEAH. DADE COUNTY COOL. FUCK JACKSONVILLE. FUCK 790THETICKET. FUCK LASLOW. FUCK MIKE RYAN. FUCK TAMPA BAY. FUCK YOUR GUN LAWS. FUCK THAT SILLY ASS LOGO ON YOUR JERSEYS.

NO, I’M NOT DONE. GIVE IT TO ME AGAIN!

AKRON, CLEVELAND, THE KING IS HOME!’
GILBERT GOT EVERYONE, DISCOUNTED!

AGAIN, AGAIN, I’M NOT DONE!

MIAMI NEEDS TO BLOW THEIR CAP SPACE ON LANCE STEPHENSON. ←- SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
NEXT SEASON’S HEAT ARE THE PACERS BITCH FOR THE FORSEEABLE FUTURE.
MIAMI HEAT STAN LOST TO RIGHT TO BRING UP FANTASIES AGAIN. THEY’LL FANTASIZE OF THE TIME LEBRON BLESSED THEM WITH HIS ESSENCE.
DWADE’S POST GAME SUIT SHOULD CONSIST OF ALL BLACK CLOTHES BECAUSE HIS CAREER IS OVER BUT HE JUST DOESN’T KNOW IT YET.

ONE MORE TIME! AGAIN, BRING THAT SHIT BACK!

BUILT VERSUS BOUGHT HAS NEW MEANING NOW DOESN’T IT?
SAN ANTONIO HAS TUMBLEWEEDS. THOSE TUMBLEWEEDS NOW TAKE THE PLACE OF HEAT FANS DURING NATIONAL GAMES.
SAN ANTONIO HAS REAL COWBOYS YOU HAVE COCAINE COWBOYS!
NOT 1, NOT 2, NOT 3, NOT 4, NOT 5, NOT 6, NOT 7, ISN’T A SLOGAN ANYMORE FOR CHAMPIONSHIPS BUT THE NUMBER OF YEARS IT TAKE THE HEAT TO SNIFF THE PLAYOFFS. THIS ISN’T A JOKE OR THREAT, BUT A PROMISE.
JOSH MCROBERTS, DANNY GRANGER, SHABAZZ NAPIER, AND DWADE ARE THE NEW DEFENDERS.

https://scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hph...5_10202346995776314_4905888156034339423_n.jpg

 

[jbug617]

Gasol is probably done in LA
https://twitter.com/WojYahooNBA/status/487727989933998080

 

[Shamrock7r]

I really want Gasol, but if he goes to the Bulls I won't be too upset. Just don't want him to go to OKC. I really feel like he is going to the Spurs though.

Good for him. There are teams who want him that are much closer to winning a championship next year than the Lakers will be.

Not to mention it always felt like the Lakers didn't really appreciate Pau.

 

[TheSadRanger]

Who can the Rockets sign now?

I find it hilarious that they bent over backwards to try and get Bosh and failed. Now they're stuck with a diminished roster and paying Parsons 13-14 million more a year.

 

[CreepingFear]

Bulls going to overpay Gasol, aren't they? 4 years, 40 million deal incoming. Fuck.

 

[chicagocubsfan]

Bulls going to overpay Gasol, aren't they? 4 years, 40 million deal incoming. Fuck.

Please no.

 

[MechDX]

I find it hilarious that they bent over backwards to try and get Bosh and failed. Now they're stuck with a diminished roster and paying Parsons 13-14 million more a year.

Not a huge NBA fan but they have the money freed up now why not just sign another player and still get Paraons back with the Bird Rule?

 

[Afrikan]

Edit- whaaaat Bosh resigned?

 

[watershed]

I really want Gasol, but if he goes to the Bulls I won't be too upset. Just don't want him to go to OKC. I really feel like he is going to the Spurs though.



Not to mention it always felt like the Lakers didn't really appreciate Pau.

If Pau is truly interested in winning a championship, then he will go to the Spurs. But maybe he feels that he has 2 or 3 more years and OKC is always threatening to finally reach their full potential. It's like a race: do the Spurs "get old" first or does OKC finally put it all together first?

 

[Bowser]

Not a huge NBA fan but they have the money freed up now why not just sign another player and still get Paraons back with the Bird Rule?

It's not as simple as just "sign another player." Who's left to sign? They don't need a SG/SF/C. What they really needed was a stretch 4, and Bosh was the only elite option. Or an upgrade at PG, but again, Lowry was probably the best option there, and he's re-signed with Toronto.

Kind of stuck in no man's land now. Best bet is to try to make a run at Kevin Love with whatever assets they have, which doesn't seem to be much at this point given they traded away a 2015 first rounder in the Lin deal.

 

[CreepingFear]

Edit- whaaaat Bosh resigned?

You need to get on Twitter, son. We've known for like 2 hours.

 

[CreepingFear]

If Pau is truly interested in winning a championship, then he will go to the Spurs. But maybe he feels that he has 2 or 3 more years and OKC is always threatening to finally reach their full potential. It's like a race: do the Spurs "get old" first or does OKC finally put it all together first?

I can see how the Bulls would be enticing for Gasol if he's paid the right money, with the east being completely wide open for the taking until Love goes to Cleveland.

 

[MechDX]

It's not as simple as just "sign another player." Who's left to sign? They don't need a SG/SF/C. What they really needed was a stretch 4, and Bosh was the only elite option. Or an upgrade at PG, but again, Lowry was probably the best option there, and he's re-signed with Toronto.

Kind of stuck in no man's land now.

Going by NBA standards sign someone out of spite for another team? Catmello Anthony sign yet?

 

[sf2fanatic]

What kind of money can the Spurs offer Pau?

Pau should take whatever they can offer him and get that ring

 

[RedAssedApe]

Looks like Jordan hill deal is only guaranteed for the first year. 2nd year is team option. So if hill sucks or need cap space they can drop him

 

[Bowser]

Going by NBA standards sign someone out of spite for another team? Catmello Anthony sign yet?

Well, you kinda need someone to want to play for your team to sign them. By all accounts, Melo is either staying in New York or trying to find a way to Chicago. Chicago is a more natural fit, team building wise and competitively. With Houston, both Harden and Howard need their fair share of touches. Adding another ball dominant, sub-par defender in Melo probably creates some headaches on offense and still wouldn't be a lock to come out of the West. In the East, a Bulls team with Melo would probably be co-favorites with the Cavs, maybe even the favorites.

 

[FullMetalx117]

Do you guys think Rockets will actually match the MAVS offer?

 

[watershed]

I can see how the Bulls would be enticing for Gasol if he's paid the right money, with the east being completely wide open for the taking until Love goes to Cleveland.

I forgot about the Bulls being interested in him. It would be pretty funny if Gasol and Melo both signed with the Bulls. The Knicks would probably end up being one of the losers of free agency despite getting rid of Felton and Chandler.

 

[darkside31337]

Do you guys think Rockets will actually match the MAVS offer?

Why wouldn't they at this point? Who would they even spend the money on to replace him?

I guess its possible if they can somehow get Deng or whoever before they have to match but it seems unlikely to say the least.

 

[TheSadRanger]

It's not as simple as just "sign another player." Who's left to sign? They don't need a SG/SF/C. What they really needed was a stretch 4, and Bosh was the only elite option. Or an upgrade at PG, but again, Lowry was probably the best option there, and he's re-signed with Toronto.

Kind of stuck in no man's land now. Best bet is to try to make a run at Kevin Love with whatever assets they have, which doesn't seem to be much at this point given they traded away a 2015 first rounder in the Lin deal.

What's funny is Houston could have avoided the mess with Parsons entirely if they didn't decline the team option for the 2014-2015 season. They could be paying him only $965k for next season.

 

[Forceatowulf]

Pau should take whatever they can offer him and get that ring

He's already got 2 with the most well known ball club on the planet. He's also a shoe-in for the Hall o Fame.

Wont shock me if he goes for the money.

 

[Bowser]

What's funny is Houston could have avoided the mess with Parsons entirely if they didn't decline the team option for the 2014-2015 season. They could be paying him only $965k for next season.

Yeah, turns out that's gonna be a botched move. Could have proposed Parsons, a 1st and some filler and piqued the interest of the Wolves for Love.

 

[CreepingFear]

He's already got 2 with the most well known ball club on the planet. He's also a shoe-in for the Hall o Fame.

Wont shock me if he goes for the money.

That's why I'm scared he chooses Bulls. He could get paid with Bulls and still have a shot. Spurs he'll win for sure, but maybe he doesn't get as much money.

 

[Shamrock7r]

Ramona Shelburne ✔ @ramonashelburne
Follow
Regarding Pau: top two now Chi/Spurs..if Bulls can't do sign and trade with Lakers, likely he goes to Spurs
6:04 PM - 11 Jul 2014
168 RETWEETS 37 FAVORITES

 

[CreepingFear]

Ramona Shelburne ✔ @ramonashelburne
Follow
Regarding Pau: top two now Chi/Spurs..if Bulls can't do sign and trade with Lakers, likely he goes to Spurs
6:04 PM - 11 Jul 2014
168 RETWEETS 37 FAVORITES

Then he's a Spur then since the Lin deal made a sign and trade for Boozer unlikely.

 

[jbug617]

Is Boozer an expiring?

 

[MetalFearSolid]

Ramona Shelburne ✔ @ramonashelburne
Follow
Regarding Pau: top two now Chi/Spurs..if Bulls can't do sign and trade with Lakers, likely he goes to Spurs
6:04 PM - 11 Jul 2014
168 RETWEETS 37 FAVORITES

Spurs are going to be scary good! That ball movement. That low post game is coming back!

 

[CreepingFear]

Is Boozer an expiring?

Yes, no teams seem to want that expiring still.

 

[sf2fanatic]

He's already got 2 with the most well known ball club on the planet. He's also a shoe-in for the Hall o Fame.

Wont shock me if he goes for the money.

Getting extra rings looks better in career stat column. Just go to the Spurs Pau..

 

[Bowser]

Then he's a Spur then since the Lin deal made a sign and trade for Boozer unlikely.

Seems to be the case:

Sam Amick ‏@sam_amick 1m
Correction confirmed. This scenario was in play before today's moves. RT @EricPincus: cap doesn't work for Boozer now - Lakers spent

 

[watershed]

Pau to the Spurs makes the most sense. This free agency has been crazy so far! So many moves that will/may change the dynamics of the NBA.

 

[CreepingFear]

If Pau is a Spur, hopefully we never have to see Splitter on television again.

 

[Shamrock7r]

Whipped this up real quick, because if Gasol comes to Spurs... man o man...

 

[Liquidsnake]

He's already got 2 with the most well known ball club on the planet. He's also a shoe-in for the Hall o Fame.

Wont shock me if he goes for the money.

Heard he already turned down a 2 year 20 million offer from LA.

 

[CreepingFear]

Heard he already turned down a 2 year 20 million offer from LA.

I thought Woj said 2 year 10 mill?

 

[Kronotech]

Ken Berger ‏@KBergCBS 1m
The Kings will get an approximately $7 million trade exception and the draft rights to Alex Oriakhi, league source says.

Ken Berger ‏@KBergCBS 4s
Suns presented RFA Thomas with a four-year, $27m offer sheet. Kings no interest in matching; Thomas no interest in staying, sources say.

Initially I was worried about this... but Suns play a tandem PG front court with Bledsoe and Dragic so most likely Thomas would come off the bench while Tyler Ennis learns the ropes as a 3rd string... I hope.

 

[MetalFearSolid]

You know what is amazing. Spurs will probably trade Splitter and bring in some decent role players in return if they get Pau.

 

[Cloudy]

So......Lakers might have found something with Clarkson

 

[Bowser]

I thought Woj said 2 year 10 mill?

$10m per, not $10m total

 

[MetalFearSolid]

According to ESPN, the #Spurs are 'in the lead' to sign Pau Gasol.

Oh snap. Spurs going to repeat!

 

[CreepingFear]

$10m per, not $10m total

You're right. I think he's a Spur, which for me is good, assuming that Melo wasn't part of the plan with Pau to the Bulls.

 

[rvy]

According to ESPN, the #Spurs are 'in the lead' to sign Pau Gasol.

Oh snap. Spurs going to repeat!

Might as well threepeat at this point.

 

[Shamrock7r]

NBA Updates @NBAonSTC
Follow
We’re told the #Spurs are the front runners for Pau Gasol; Chicago trails closely.
6:05 PM - 11 Jul 2014

 

[MetalFearSolid]

ESPN Numbers Never Lie twitter feed, always gives interesting facts.

With a $20.64M first-year salary, next season Chris Bosh will earn more than Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili & Kawhi Leonard COMBINED (!!)

That is just wrong.

 

[Cheddahz]

That is just wrong.

Well, when you're much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, older than all of those three players combined, I guess you deserve more money?

 

[MetalFearSolid]

NBA FANS. Bruno Caboclo is playing well in Summer League! 12 points 5-7 FG. Haters gonna hate!

 

[brianjones]

damn.. spurs are gonna be scary

 

[Starphoenix]

Ramona Shelburne ✔ @ramonashelburne
Follow
Regarding Pau: top two now Chi/Spurs..if Bulls can't do sign and trade with Lakers, likely he goes to Spurs
6:04 PM - 11 Jul 2014
168 RETWEETS 37 FAVORITES

C'mon Pau!

NBA Updates @NBAonSTC
Follow
We’re told the #Spurs are the front runners for Pau Gasol; Chicago trails closely.
6:05 PM - 11 Jul 2014

 

[chicagocubsfan]

The fact that Melo hasn't signed yet is giving me hope.

 

[watershed]

I gotta think the reason Melo hasn't announced his decision yet is because he and his agent are working furiously to work out the financial side with anyone but the Knicks.