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Asian-GAF: We're all the same, like Stormtroopers |OT| |AT|

Llyranor

Member
I compulsively pour tea around the table when the teapot is near me.
pour for others and then pour for yourself
Yes, until you get near the end of the teapot, then you pour for yourself first and leave the bitter last pour for the person you like the least at the table :D
 

clav

Member
How else are hotdogs edible?

Freshly sliced tomatoes, mini hot peppers, mustard, onions, relish in a poppy-seed bun.

For some reason at least for Chicagoans, adding ketchup is the a do not thing to do.

Sure they will ask twice but they won't treat you like a dog when you ask for ketchup on your hotdog. Us Minnesotan's at least recognize that we eat our foods different from each other and we respect that!

Isn't there a term called "Minnesota Nice"?

Usually it's used in a not-so positive way.

People will say things to avoid confrontation, but that can lead problems in people who want close friendships.

I have a Minnesota friend that I've kinda grown very distant since he doesn't bother to reach out to anyone since college.

That Pixar movie Inside Out picks up on bits of it, too, given the characters.
 

No_Style

Member
It's definitely a Hong Kong/Cantonese thing to keep refilling tea.

Strangely enough, most Mainlanders I know aren't that big into Chinese tea culture... I suppose being both British and HK affects us more than most...

edit: And yes, your experiences mirror my own. I'm actually extremely reluctant to date non-Asian or even non-Canto girls now.

I'm no expert as an ABC, but that seems like pretty standard dim sum teapot behavior. pour for others and then pour for yourself. There's a sort of acknowledgement when someone pours for you where you tap the table lightly with your fingertips. If I want more tea i'm pouring some in your cup even if you may not have touched it.


Thank you both! It's a charming thing. I'll try to remember the tapping for next time. Haha...

edit: And yes, your experiences mirror my own. I'm actually extremely reluctant to date non-Asian or even non-Canto girls now.

I'm not Canto but I seem to be drawn to them. I'm only going after asian girls just so we at least sync up on basics. An Indian woman that I work with told me this in jest but it has stuck with me: "Marry your own kind -- it's so much easier!" Since I know her and her caucasian husband are having a very difficult time with raising the kids, it has reinforced my preference to find another CBC like me.
 

Izuna

Banned
I'm not Canto but I seem to be drawn to them. I'm only going after asian girls just so we at least sync up on basics. An Indian woman that I work with told me this in jest but it has stuck with me: "Marry your own kind -- it's so much easier!" Since I know her and her caucasian husband are having a very difficult time with raising the kids, it has reinforced my preference to find another CBC like me.

I'm sorry but this is just bullshit.
 

Quick

Banned
I'm too Westernized to really blend in with your typical Asian; and I'm Asian, so I don't blend in so easily with the majority, not necessarily just by appearance. The latter isn't such a difficult thing or big deal though.

On that note, dating has been weird for me. I've only ever dated Chinese women, though purely coincidental and not adhering to an Asians-only rule. Dating "my own kind" hasn't worked out as well as one may think since my culture is way different than Chinese culture, so even the basics are off. What did click with us were the fact that they were somewhat similar to me with my aforementioned description.
 

SRG01

Member
What's important is mutual compatibility and cultural/personal values, and not necessarily the race. For myself, it's simply coincidental that I learn towards some Cantonese girls... but don't take it as myself being compatible with all Cantonese girls.

Strangely enough, I'm very compatible with small-town country girls too.

edit: I'm not even full Canto anyway, haha.
 
The Model Minority Myth and the Wedge Between Black and White America

As organizer Scot Nakagawa writes, “anti-blackness is the fulcrum of white supremacy”. That is, the engine of American racism was established only by combusting the fuel of black labor, resting on a legacy of chattel slavery and continual economic disempowerment. As scholar Andrea Smith has argued, all racial myths are constructed in order to continue to define black people as consumable husks, indigeneity as fertile subject for occupation, and immigrants of color as the exploitable Other.

Whenever someone says, “Asians are naturally (insert positive characteristic),” the unspoken corollary has been, and continues to infer, “and black people are not.”

Interesting article... I didn't have a chance to dig into the authors' linked articles
 

MsKrisp

Member
That is interesting... I'm doing a paper right now on Asians in US prisons and a couple of my sources mentioned the whole "Asians seem to be successful as a group, what's your problem?" concept. One mentioned that it also disadvantages Asians that aren't successful, because they don't get the same sort of resources in dealing with crime and rehabilitation for those that don't fit the stereotype.
 

Izuna

Banned
What's important is mutual compatibility and cultural/personal values, and not necessarily the race. For myself, it's simply coincidental that I learn towards some Cantonese girls... but don't take it as myself being compatible with all Cantonese girls.

Strangely enough, I'm very compatible with small-town country girls too.

edit: I'm not even full Canto anyway, haha.

I think I failed to expand on my point in an earlier post. Race itself isn't the compatibility, but as you rightly say, cultural and personal values do.

In general, you could expect an Asian American to have family or extended family that are, for lack of better phrasing, culturally Asian. Thus, that Asian American will be aware of and possibly understand that culture more. You could also expect people to treat people who are merely racially Asian (as in, just appearing Asian) to be treated by peers in a similar way that others are; an example being compared to Asian characters in popular TV shows.

I'm not trying to say that Asian Americans will one way or another practice or understand Asian culture but to highlight why it's possible (and I imagine, very common) that the person's race can be separate from the expected culture. Even though you can expect one of two possibilities above, it isn't always the case and it's the cause of the "Banana" classification. (I assume we all know that that means).

As humans, of course, when it comes to mating... we will use all the information we can get to make assumptions at least to find someone we are compatible with. I can understand why people will look at their own race for the important similarities in culture (and perhaps, personal values), but as someone who can't do that, it's important to note that "date your own kind" is less of a good exhortation and more base on anecdotal, statistical bias.

What I mean to say is, it undermines "Banana" Asians, and in a small way perpetuates bias against them. We're never going to have a society where race doesn't have a role in attraction, but it would be nice if it didn't have a role in giving people you do find attractive a chance: whether that means if you think you can be happy with them, or if they'll like you.

Lol some dude was like "I don't see any hate towards Asians on GAF."

"We love the Japanese games like Nier and Nioh"
 

hirokazu

Member
Strangely enough, most Mainlanders I know aren't that big into Chinese tea culture... I suppose being both British and HK affects us more than most...
I dunno, my impression is that China is pretty big on tea. Maybe it's just where I come from.
 

Quick

Banned
Just wanted to share something you guys might find amusing.

I'm back working retail after working an office job for almost 2 years. It's been good not having to answer to customers (at least, in a retail environment) for that amount of time. I've gained some new perspective in terms of dealing with them, mainly that I went from not caring to really not caring.

Anyway, I was thrown off completely by a customer last week looking for books.

Her: "Hey, you're Chinese right?"

Me: "Nope."

Her: "But you're familiar with that Oriental stuff right?"

Me: "Uh...Asian." (this is where I was at a crossroads with telling her that the term is outdated and not something used to refer to Asians, or just attempt to steer her somewhere that might help her to get rid of her)

Her: "Right, yeah. So I'm looking for stuff about chakras and healing your soul and all that."

Me: "Here's a section for all that stuff." (I show her a section with new age/kooky people books)

Her: "Okay, so what do you know about any of this?"

Me: "Nothing at all."

Her: *pulls out a book* "What do you know about this...*Read title of book about meditation and whatever*"

Me: "Absolutely nothing."

She proceeded to ask me about Philosophy and whatever else connects with what she was looking for until she left.
 
Come on..... We're mystical by nature. Of course we should know about that stuff.

Lol, some people are seriously racist without thinking they are racist or are saying racist shit. "Oriental"? Sounds like something an old person would say. You should have told her about our lord and savior, Darth Vader instead :p
 

Quick

Banned
Yes, she did say chakras exactly lol.

And to put further context, she's not white nor is she old. Which had me legit shook.
 

hirokazu

Member
Just wanted to share something you guys might find amusing.

I'm back working retail after working an office job for almost 2 years. It's been good not having to answer to customers (at least, in a retail environment) for that amount of time. I've gained some new perspective in terms of dealing with them, mainly that I went from not caring to really not caring.

Anyway, I was thrown off completely by a customer last week looking for books.

Her: "Hey, you're Chinese right?"

Me: "Nope."

Her: "But you're familiar with that Oriental stuff right?"

Me: "Uh...Asian." (this is where I was at a crossroads with telling her that the term is outdated and not something used to refer to Asians, or just attempt to steer her somewhere that might help her to get rid of her)

Her: "Right, yeah. So I'm looking for stuff about chakras and healing your soul and all that."

Me: "Here's a section for all that stuff." (I show her a section with new age/kooky people books)

Her: "Okay, so what do you know about any of this?"

Me: "Nothing at all."

Her: *pulls out a book* "What do you know about this...*Read title of book about meditation and whatever*"

Me: "Absolutely nothing."

She proceeded to ask me about Philosophy and whatever else connects with what she was looking for until she left.
Orientals, brah. We're born with knowledge of the ying and the yang.

wait. did she even like mess her up asian? cause like im pretty sure chakra is an indian thing
But she saw it on Naruto, it's used for ninjutsu and stuff.
 
Lol some dude was like "I don't see any hate towards Asians on GAF."

Man you just reminded me of that thread a while back about white flight from their Asian neighbors. I checked it out only to find out it evolved into a thread talking about how Asians can be pretty racist and we'd bail quickly if brown and black people started moving in. Fun times.
 

NetMapel

Guilty White Male Mods Gave Me This Tag
I've recently had a very interesting conversation with one of my white colleague. He's quite a traveler himself and we were just chit chatting about travelling in general and he seemed very interested in Asian stuff in general. He said he noticed in his travel that Chinese, for example, like to stick to themselves by going to Chinese hotels, eating at Chinese restaurants and blah blah blah when traveling out. Then he said never noticed any of them staying at hostels and mingling with others. I told him he probably was referring to those famously large and obnoxious travel groups that got everything all booked up in advanced and they do tend to stick with Chinese flavours more. I told him the reason for that is probably because these tour groups tend to be full of people who are from more rural areas who came into some new found riches due to their rapid economic development. They probably have never been outside and will need some kind of homely comfort in order feel comfortable in the trip. So this whole conversation then led to he wondering if Chinatown is due to just Chinese people more wanting to be with each other's instead of venturing outside. So I had to tell him that well, historically speaking, Chinatown came to be because of segregation by the white people who don't want Asians near them so they are all congregated together into a tiny area that became Chinatown in various cities. Furthermore, many of them were lied to and brought over here to do slave work so their treatments were terrible. So my conclusion with this whole conversation is that there seems to be a perspective issue or lack of knowledge when it comes to this...
 

Izuna

Banned
There's a crepe place in the city centre that is Chinese owned and I see lines of Chinese people ordering from there, no other ethnicity, and the crepe place just a minute away never has Chinese people in line.

It's actually bizarre to see and I don't really know why its happening. China Town in London, for example, is super diverse but here in Manchester it seems like races aren't mixing as much.

It only been 2 months and I haven't spoken to anyone, but I play this game where I want to see a non-Chinese person order from that place (and vice versa).
 

Erheller

Member
I've recently had a very interesting conversation with one of my white colleague. He's quite a traveler himself and we were just chit chatting about travelling in general and he seemed very interested in Asian stuff in general. He said he noticed in his travel that Chinese, for example, like to stick to themselves by going to Chinese hotels, eating at Chinese restaurants and blah blah blah when traveling out. Then he said never noticed any of them staying at hostels and mingling with others. I told him he probably was referring to those famously large and obnoxious travel groups that got everything all booked up in advanced and they do tend to stick with Chinese flavours more. I told him the reason for that is probably because these tour groups tend to be full of people who are from more rural areas who came into some new found riches due to their rapid economic development. They probably have never been outside and will need some kind of homely comfort in order feel comfortable in the trip. So this whole conversation then led to he wondering if Chinatown is due to just Chinese people more wanting to be with each other's instead of venturing outside. So I had to tell him that well, historically speaking, Chinatown came to be because of segregation by the white people who don't want Asians near them so they are all congregated together into a tiny area that became Chinatown in various cities. Furthermore, many of them were lied to and brought over here to do slave work so their treatments were terrible. So my conclusion with this whole conversation is that there seems to be a perspective issue or lack of knowledge when it comes to this...

Has he never heard of other ethnic enclaves in cities? I mean, here in Chicago I live five minutes away from Little Italy and Greektown. They've been gentrified over the years, but the same thing is happening to the Chinatown here.
 
So I had an experience the other day. Was wondering whether to put it in here, the Chicago thread or just make a new thread. Seeing how the other threads like this have devolved, I figured I wouldn't start the shitshow that a new thread on this would entail.

Basically, my wife and I were on the El in Chicago on Sunday. Now we've both lived here for a long time and are used to the typical crazies that ride the El. It's a pretty crowded train until they announce that they're going express to 5-6 stops later (we were headed to one 8 or 9 so it worked out for us). The train empties and then there's like 5 people in the car.

One is a guy across from us, disheveled, looking like he's homeless and/or recently been in a hospital. He's wearing hospital paper pants and pretty much passed out. Typical thing you'd seen on the El. But halfway through, he wakes up. He kinda looks around in a daze, but then kinda passes back out off and on. We didn't take much to it, but then halfway through, he starts just basically yelling at me and my (by the way, 31 weeks pregnant) wife. He started screaming about immigrants, calling us all sorts of racial shit "slanty-eyed motherfuckers" etc. He went on in particular to no one about Trump being right and so forth and blah blah blah and how no one cared about him.

For me, I basically just let it bounce off me and tried to ignore him, but the more I did it the more I realized it was escalating the scenario. I do think that he was either on something and/or mentally or medically ill (he was slurring his speech, had delusional tangential thoughts, etc... again not unlike what you typically see on the El) but my wife was really distraught, almost in tears. She's been a Chicagoan and city person for way longer than I have but the added stress of pregnancy I think was really hitting her too. I was trying not to engage as best I could with the dude but he stood up a couple times, and if we would've approached my wife and my unborn kid, I don't know what I would've done but I would've needed to physically get involved with protection instinct kicking in.

Having said that, my faith in humanity was somewhat restored. There was a young couple who talked with the guy when he started spouting the "they ain't American" thing and talked about how we all were in the same boat, and how we could choose to try to live together, etc. Another lady came up later to try to calm the dude down and check on my wife. Eventually, when I did speak up to the guy, I think he was surprised that I spoke fluent English and that seemed to calm down his tirade; after we spoke for a bit, he went into this whole "nobody care's about me.." tirade and so forth, which sadly I think was true. When we left the train, I told him to have a good day and he seemed to be much calmer. My wife was on the verge of tears though.

Anyhow, this wasn't the typical racial stories you see like the airBNB thing or the post-election clear hate crimes and the source was clearly ill (I'm a medical professional so yeah, I can call it). Having said that, it was an experience that I felt I should share.

Has he never heard of other ethnic enclaves in cities? I mean, here in Chicago I live five minutes away from Little Italy and Greektown. They've been gentrified over the years, but the same thing is happening to the Chinatown here.

I live pretty close to you. Where's your go-to for Asian food? Umai's pretty good in the South Loop. My Chinatown stop is Ming Hin, Strings is good for Ramen. There's a new K BBQ place too that opened up recently which I've wanted to check out (Dae bak). Plus I'm sure you're like me and aware of the H Mart that's opening up near Greektown soon. :)
 

Erheller

Member
I live pretty close to you. Where's your go-to for Asian food? Umai's pretty good in the South Loop. My Chinatown stop is Ming Hin, Strings is good for Ramen. There's a new K BBQ place too that opened up recently which I've wanted to check out (Dae bak). Plus I'm sure you're like me and aware of the H Mart that's opening up near Greektown soon. :)

Most of the time for Asian food I go to Chinatown or that area up north (the one by Argyle, I don't know what it's called).

Ming Hin is really good, I also go to Cai for Dim Sum sometimes. If I'm feeling like dumplings there's Qing Xiang Yuan kind of close by there too. Also, the duck at BBQ King House is pretty good. Little Lamb Hot Pot is also good. And yeah, Strings is also pretty good (my sister had ramen at another place somewhere downtown and liked it a lot but I forgot what it was called)

At Argyle, I really like Sun Wah for the duck and Vietnam Restaurant for the pho (Tank Noodle is really overrated). There's another pho place across the street from Vietnam Restaurant I've been meaning to check out.

Cho Sun Ok has some good Korean bbq too, but it's kind of out of the way. I'll have to check out Umai and Dae bak!

I'm graduating from college this year so I probably won't get to see the new Hmart :(
 
So I had an experience the other day. Was wondering whether to put it in here, the Chicago thread or just make a new thread. Seeing how the other threads like this have devolved, I figured I wouldn't start the shitshow that a new thread on this would entail.

....

Jesus, that sounds awful especially with your pregnant wife there. What line were you riding? Born and raised here in Chicago and I've ridden the red line and brown line my whole life and thankfully have never been a target of any kind of racial tirade. Certainly seen my fair share of crazies though. Sorry you and your wife had to go through all that. But also glad to hear some good samaritans stepped in.

At Argyle, I really like Sun Wah for the duck and Vietnam Restaurant for the pho (Tank Noodle is really overrated). There's another pho place across the street from Vietnam Restaurant I've been meaning to check out.

Yeah, Tank Noodle is always crowded, but honestly not that special. Vietnam Restaurant (Nha Hang Vietnam) has good rice dishes too. I like Pho 888 (couple doors down from Tank Noodle) as well. They have good pho and really good eggrolls, not that frozen reheated kind.
 

NetMapel

Guilty White Male Mods Gave Me This Tag
Has he never heard of other ethnic enclaves in cities? I mean, here in Chicago I live five minutes away from Little Italy and Greektown. They've been gentrified over the years, but the same thing is happening to the Chinatown here.
To be frank, I don't know about the origin of those conclaves like little Italy. Were they also formed due to extreme segregation by white people back then who don't want them minorities living by them so here's a piece of land where you guys can be crammed into it? That's the history of Chinatown in many North American cities. I just found it interesting that my colleague perspective of it is totally different from the historical truth haha.

Also another interesting I leaned as I'm currently in Taiwan. Speaking to the people I know here, I'm reminded of the devastating consequence of "white Hollywood" to Asians here as well. I know people said Asian Americans are obviously most affected by the result of a lack of roles for them. However, while there are thriving media and entertainment here in Asia, many people still view Hollywood as the ultimate beauty. Lots of young people get their hair colour changed, skin whitened and other cosmetic changes such as a nose job and all to emulate white people. That's really a shame and I hope there can be changes to this in the future.
 

No_Style

Member
I've always approached dating as one girl at a time. If I don't develop strong feelings for them early on, I would break it off. This time, on the advice of many on Dating-GAF, I am trying to "never stop dating until I am official with someone". So even if I don't feel an immediate connection, I continue to see them. It's been fine until I met someone who I really liked.

I'm now finding it difficult to feign romantic interest for the other girls so I am in the process of letting them know that I just want to be friends. Even if I am putting all my eggs in one basket, I just don't feel comfortable keeping backups. The philosophy makes sense and cushions rejection but it's not me.

I'm just curious what my fellow Asians do in my situation.
 
I'm old fashioned and prefer to focus on one person even if that person isn't focused on me. It's old but it's just something I prefer. I can't see myself talking to multiple chicks for some odd reason.

In your situation, I would back GAF. Despite you telling us that you would rather focus on one girl instead of talking to multiple girls. It's not really about romantic interest in these girls but interest in that one girl out of the multiple girls you are talking with (which you've found).

You are going it about the right way by telling them you just want to be friends. You need to make that known sooner rather than later because you don't want to lead them all on. Just be prepared if she doesn't feel that way about you. That's the one decent thing about talking to multiple girls in that you can fall back to another girl.

Which.... Is the hard part once you tell them that you wanted to be friends instead. But one thing is to always be on the grind. She rejects your advances, move on to the next girl or girls. But, if that doesn't work out for you again then go back to your old ways.
 

No_Style

Member
Haha... You just outlined my entire thought process over the last few days. Except I landed on returning to my old ways. I was actually in a very similar situation in January. It lasted about a month before she broke it off. I took it badly but bounced back and got back "on the grind" within a few hours. I'm still friends with my "backup" but I'm not pursuing anything romantic with her. We've hung out and had nice dinners together but just as friends.

It actually took about 3 additional weeks to completely move on but now I'm in a great place. Met some awesome girls that I'm open to maintaining friendships with even if it doesn't work out (unless we date for a significant time and they dump me then it'll take some time to reconnect haha..)
 

Erheller

Member
Remember guys, two Japanese agree with the ScarJo casting so it's all okay that an American movie made by an American company didn't consider hiring an Asian American actress.

To be frank, I don't know about the origin of those conclaves like little Italy. Were they also formed due to extreme segregation by white people back then who don't want them minorities living by them so here's a piece of land where you guys can be crammed into it? That's the history of Chinatown in many North American cities. I just found it interesting that my colleague perspective of it is totally different from the historical truth haha.

Also another interesting I leaned as I'm currently in Taiwan. Speaking to the people I know here, I'm reminded of the devastating consequence of "white Hollywood" to Asians here as well. I know people said Asian Americans are obviously most affected by the result of a lack of roles for them. However, while there are thriving media and entertainment here in Asia, many people still view Hollywood as the ultimate beauty. Lots of young people get their hair colour changed, skin whitened and other cosmetic changes such as a nose job and all to emulate white people. That's really a shame and I hope there can be changes to this in the future.

I'm not familiar on the details, but that's pretty much the same story for most of the ethnic enclaves in most cities. Italians and Germans and most Eastern Europeans were at one point viewed very negatively so they were discriminated against and had to buy/rent places in undesirable neighborhoods.

It's kind of sad how quickly people portray Asians as being clannish for having their Chinatowns and Koreatowns when they forget that their ancestors did the exact same thing.
 

cdyhybrid

Member
We got someone writing a hit piece on the dude from the United flight.

Just in case anyone thought Asians won't get shit on by white America when the opportunity arises.
 

IronRaven

Member
We got someone writing a hit piece on the dude from the United flight.

Just in case anyone thought Asians won't get shit on by white America when the opportunity arises.


I saw some comments on an edgy meme post on Instagram regarding the whole United Airlines thing. Jesus Christ.
 

Quick

Banned
We got someone writing a hit piece on the dude from the United flight.

Just in case anyone thought Asians won't get shit on by white America when the opportunity arises.

Gotta love the character assassinations of minorities when shit like this comes up.
 

Llyranor

Member
He was no angel. Did you even see his ratemds.com rating? Not allowing him to see his patients was doing him a favor. United is the real victim here.

If people can't even use 'United is trash' as a rallying point, there is something deeply wrong with modern society.
 

clav

Member
Way society looks at things zero-sum reflects inability to progress.

Has been the struggle throughout history.
Remember guys, two Japanese agree with the ScarJo casting so it's all okay that an American movie made by an American company didn't consider hiring an Asian American actress.

Yeah two people who could possibly be socially awkward in real life undoubtedly represent the collective opinion of an entire country + race because of lookalikes.
 
We got someone writing a hit piece on the dude from the United flight.

Just in case anyone thought Asians won't get shit on by white America when the opportunity arises.

I don't know why the fuck people feel the need to lawyer up for United, or the clearly wrong side with uncompromising evidence against them. Everyone thinks they're Sherlock and will find some damning evidence that will leave the majority with egg on their face for calling out United.
 
It's hilarious that OP writes it like his finding is this novel observation then capping it off with "Cyber SJW"...Also is SJW a bingo square? Because it totally should be..

Ugh, been avoiding that thread all day cause I knew what it would devolve into. Good to know it's rotten from the OP. Not bothering.
 
Here's what I don't get about the derogatory use of "SJW": isn't social justice a good thing? Oh, man, those fuckin' SJWs are campaigning for equitable treatment for all! Oh no?
 

Zoe

Member
SJW was originally a term for obnoxious slacktivists. 10 years ago on GAF people tossed around "white knight" in the same manner.

Tons of people still use SJW for its original meaning.
 

clav

Member
10 years ago on GAF people tossed around "white knight" in the same manner.

When FHUTA was a common response around here.

Perhaps when the thread devolves to talk about racial slurs or superior racial pairings like Jewish + Asian ones, mods will lock it.
 
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