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[sono]

I can only say that the pain of this is something that you learn to live with, if that helps.

 

[Trunx81]

Next year marks the 40th anniversary of my mother’s death. I was just a small kid back then, so there are only a few memories of her which I can value. I’m still thinking often about what a person I would have been if she would have stayed around.

Worst trigger for me was that Buffy episode “The body”, when Buffy finds her mother lying dead on the couch .. that was me, nearly 40 years ago.

But I know she’s watching me from above, guiding me and giving me hope. And like someone said before: I will see her again. Take care, folks!

 

[Raven117]

I’m still thinking often about what a person I would have been if she would have stayed around.

I wasn't as young as you, but I have this same thought often.

 

[Raven117]

Thought of this thread

I dreamed my Mom was hugged me last night when I was sleeping, felt real, I could feel her hands grasp mine and smell her naturally sweet scent while she told me she's proud of me and to keep going

She's happy

These are the strangest dreams. You wake up with such a weird feeling of having seen your mother, but the bitter taste of reality crashing down.

My mom was in hospice almost 10 years ago. I'm the last one left in my family

Goodness. You aren't alone. You may feel that way, but you arent.

I'm adopted but I always knew it. 4 years ago in August, my birth mom passed of a heart attack. Amazingly not because of COVID.

A little while later I found out who my bio dad is and then in November, I met him! We have been in contact since then... But then he kept losing his phone or forgetting to charge it or not being able to figure it out ... He had to be put in a nursing home last year and around summer this year, he had to be put in hospice. He was losing too much weight and pretty much bedridden. The last time I talked to him on video call was early last week, I believe. And it was the last I saw him. I told him I loved him and I hope to see him soon.

I got the call Monday afternoon that he passed away. He was too weak.

Funeral is this weekend.

I'm sorry to hear this. At least you got an opportunity to tell him that you loved him. For both of you. Im sure things are very surreal right now. Probably numb. There is some comfort in being a part of the funeral service. Family and friends. Having some responsibilities o take care of with that. Might as well take advantage of the distraction. That said, in a few weeks, when every one leaves and you are back home. Quiet. Things may get tough as you start to sort through the emotions. Come on back here if you need to write something down.

Hey man we're here for each other. I'm going see my Dad in December one last time. His cancer is rough and his dementia is weird, he's crazy one moment but then clearly ask me all the time why I haven't seen him since my mom died, it's extremely bizarre to me to see this happening.

So... Yeah I guess I'm saying our dads end is similar, or will be, if you need to chat my DMS are open

At least you get to see him again. Sounds like there is some complications there, but that makes it all the more complicated to work through.

 

[Puscifer]

In less than a year I've been left parentless

I've moved across the country coast to coast for work several times, visited parts of the world by myself, taken job opportunities that were a gamble and many other things and yet somehow I've never felt so lonely and lost than I do now

 

[HRK69]

Nvm

 

[OmegaSupreme]

I always hate to see this thread bumped. It's been almost seven years since my father passed and it's still hard to believe. It's hard to accept still. I'm going to see my mother this summer. She's 72 and has survived two bouts of cancer. She's across the country so I haven't seen her nearly as much as I'd like but I'm saving up this year and will spend a week with her in July.

 

[Trilobit]

My dad died a little over a week ago. I rarely react strongly to things right when they happen, but rather a few months later when I've digested it. The realization that I won't be able to call him and joke around comes every now and then, but otherwise I think I'm still somewhat in shock. I've never really had anyone I was close to who's died so I'll take my time processing things.

He still got well over 70 years old and also had some illnesses so it wasn't as shocking as having a parent die in their 50s or 60s. But dead is dead no matter how it happened. I had very kind police officers who came over to deliver the news in person and they even offered to stay as long as I wanted them to, so that's a nice gesture "society" provides. Two of the tree were women and I could see that one of them had real trouble looking at me as she seemed saddened over having to be the bearer of bad news, that must be a really rough part of their job.

Anyhow, I've been avoiding to think too much about it since I already suffer from depression so I don't want to spiral even further into sadness right now, I'll mourn properly when I feel ready over a longer time.

My heart goes out, in a non-hand-gesture-way, to all the rest of you.

 

[Liopleurodon]

My father died yesterday.

I miss him.

Please, always cherish those who are important to you.

 

[Miyazaki’s Slave]

What an awesome thread...not from a content perspective I mean (shits sad)...the fact it exists is awesome.

I have more bitterness than sadness to be honest. My dad died a few years ago and I didn't feel a thing. I am the youngest by a decade (of 3) and we never got along. My parents were married for 48 years and for 15 of those my life was pretty rough. I wish I would have had a stronger relationship with him but that is a double edged sword: He would have had to be the dad I needed him to be or I would have had to be the son he wanted me to be.

I can def say the experience I had growing up pushed me away from strong relationships (emotionally) and most certainly contributed to the me never having kids.

 

[LordOfChaos]

Lost my mom to glioblastoma, one of the most aggressive brain cancers last year. She was only 60 when diagnosed, otherwise she was still too young and healthy, really sucked. Median prognosis is 18 months but she lasted 4 years. The last year was really brutal, there's so much people don't talk about when it's something with the brain, especially impacting her memory the most and eventually motor functions and leaving her in bed. So even if you tried to make some happy memories in the last 12-6 months she might forget within minutes.

I'm glad she's past the suffering now. I don't know what to believe anymore after being an annoying teenage atheist, it's hard when you lose someone, but I hope the next party is better than this one.

 

[Nocty]

My dad passed a few months back. I had not seen him for 14 years. I don't really even remember what he looked like. My mother has since remarried, she moved on really fast. I never quite understood that, maybe her way of dealing with the grief I guess.

She never talks about him ever, which I find odd. I didn't have much of a relationship with him since I was a teenager sadly. After the divorce he pretty much became a reclusive drunk and got into some bad heatlh issues before moving away to another city. He never made any attempt to contact me or my sister, so we only found out much after his passing.

 

[Peggies]

My dad has lung cancer.
I don't know how to deal with that. Right now I'm repressing the thought of him actually dying. He's started chemo therapy last week and it's devastating to see him like that. He's always been a hero to me and to see him hurting and actually scared the first time in my life is heart breaking.

 

[Catphish]

Coming up on the 10th anniversary of my mom's passing. She died on Mother's Day 2015 from brain & lung cancer. I lost my stepdad about 4 years later. He just fell to pieces after she died.

I still struggle with it, far more than I thought I would. Things are easing up because Spring is here, it's warming up, and the days are getting longer, but man, in the winter? It's fucking rough. Every damn year. I can't even tell you how many days I cried thinking about them this past winter. And it's especially bad around the holidays. I try to keep it light for the sake of my daughter but, the truth is, I'm fucking broken inside. Christmas without them isn't just incomplete, it's fucking foreign. Like I'm in some other part of the world where I don't know anybody. I don't know if I'm making any sense, but it really does a number on me.

All I know is I've come to accept that I'll never "get over it". This is my life now. The grief is equal to the love, and I loved them very, very much.

 

[Catphish]

My dad has lung cancer.
I don't know how to deal with that. Right now I'm repressing the thought of him actually dying. He's started chemo therapy last week and it's devastating to see him like that. He's always been a hero to me and to see him hurting and actually scared the first time in my life is heart breaking.

I've been there. It's fucking brutal, and there's no way around it.

My advice: Spend as much time as you can with him, express your love for him, and make sure you say all the things you need to say.

That's the only good thing abut losing someone to cancer; you see the end coming, and you have time to do what you have to. Don't waste it.

You can't defeat cancer with love, but you can sure lighten the burden.