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[LectureMaster]

"I was in super crunch mode": Balatro creator opens up on the toll the stress of indie development took on his "physical and mental health"

"I really struggled with my physical and mental health"

www.gamesradar.com

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Balatro creator LocalThunk has remained pretty private in the wake of the poker roguelike's massive launch, choosing not to reveal his real name or even appear in person to accept the Best Independent Game award at The Game Awards last year. Nonetheless, in a new blog post running down the history of Balatro's development, LocalThunk has opened up on some of the health issues caused by the stress of game's development.

By August 2023, LocalThunk had signed a deal with Playstack and was continuing to see the demo get more and more attention. "This is when my sleep and heart started having issues," he says. "I have talked about this a tiny bit in the past, but I really struggled with my physical and mental health from this time onward all the way up to launch. This was entirely because of the stress around dealing with the public, players, and the pressure to get everything done before February 2024."

LocalThunk says his sleep and heart issues kept "getting worse," and he'd often need to "sleep sitting upright on the couch because sleeping while lying down kept getting interrupted by my heart." Yet between all the business and other development obligations growing around Balatro's development, he felt that he couldn't spare the time to see a doctor.

That changed in January 2024. "One night I am watching the movie The Abyss with my partner and suddenly I get tunnel vision, my heart is absolutely pounding and I feel like something is seriously wrong," LocalThunk writes. "I sit on the couch for a while, totally freaked out. I’m really scared. I call my doctor and see him the next morning for an appointment."

The doctor explained that this wasn't "wasn’t a heart attack or heart failure but an anxiety attack. I am not normally an anxious person and have never had issues with this in the past but I think the intense stress for such a long time has done quite a bit of damage. He asks me if my work has been stressful lately. I don’t even know how to explain."

LocalThunk says an invitational tournament shortly after this incident was "probably my favourite moment" of the period leading up to Balatro's launch, so it wasn't entirely a death march in those final weeks, but he "was in super crunch mode" even in February 2024 as the game was readying for launch.

Of course, the story of Balatro has a happy ending, since the game launched to absolutely glowing reviews and life-changing day one sales. After seeing the shock of the day one sales, LocalThunk says that the "other moment from that day that sticks out is later that day when my partner got home from work. She had been following along all day and struggling to get any work done, and when she got home she gave me a great big hug. I wasn’t sure I’d even survive the launch but here we were. I could not have done this without her. We ordered burgers for supper and popped a bottle of champagne to celebrate."

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[Pegasus Actual]

What a pussy.

 

[Heimdall_Xtreme]

What a pathetic mind... That type of Crystal Generation can't stand anything.

 

[I collect VHS tapes]

We used to fight lions then Germans now people can’t even make a video game without having a nervous breakdown

 

[Digital-Aftertaste]

Please tell me y'all are joking cuz some people are more easily prone to anxiety attacks than others.

 

[Ridicululzz]

This guy really hates deadlines

 

[GateofD]

with success, comes the cons of it as well.

I mean, I get it, nerd makes a videogame for fun, doesn't expect it to blow up that big, has no experience with going outside and getting hit for interviews from people wanting to know you.

 

[drganon]

All that stress over a shitty card game.

 

[GloveSlap]

Damn, didn't know it was only one guy. Huge achievement (and great game).

 

[TheDreadBaron]

Some real nasty responses in here, happy for the guy that all his sacrifices payed off.

 

[Puscifer]

Please tell me y'all are joking cuz some people are more easily prone to anxiety attacks than others.

I didn't realize I was in a constant state of anxiety after my mom died until my Dr pointed out things. One pill later and I realized how I grew accustomed to it and holy shit! I'm better now but those months were crazy.

I feel for people who have actual nervous issues that cause it all the time after that.

 

[MrRibeye]

Signing a publishing deal can feel like an all-or-nothing situation. Suddenly you see your entire future, money, self-worth all defined by the success of this project, because you read the statistics of how rare publishing deals are, how 9 out of 10 games fail to make profit on Steam and if you drop the ball you are doomed. You see the days pass by to the deadline when you will be made to stand naked in public, alone because you have no team and no-one to shift blame to, for all to see whether you designed a fun game without bugs, or whether the reviews will be "Mostly Negative". The anxiety is real.

 

[kikkis]

Man gaffers are such a bad asses. Imagine how ambitious and successful games would be if gaffers made games by themselves and stopped fighting lions.

 

[kevboard]

Please tell me y'all are joking cuz some people are more easily prone to anxiety attacks than others.

You can never be sure if someone is serious or not even with the most ridiculous statements... never underestimate the internet when it comes to dumb takes

 

[LectureMaster]

As you can see in this case, money can't buy happiness, not even health.

That's why the happy moments when I hang out here with my boy adamsapple is priceless.

 

[Zathalus]

You can never be sure if someone is serious or not even with the most ridiculous statements... never underestimate the internet when it comes to dumb takes

Some might be trolling, some are just assholes. Although I think trolling of this kind probably makes them assholes by default.

 

[Embearded]

I hope he recovers and the game earnings are worth it.

I am 100% sure the assholes in this thread don't understand video game development, even if it is "just a card game". Also 0 understanding of mental problems and anxiety.
You guys suck dick like a vacuum sucks a carpet.

 

[TheSHEEEP]

Being thrust into success like that can definitely feel overwhelming.
There isn't really a solution here, either. Just gotta weather the storm and get better eventually - good to hear he did that.

 

[March Climber]

Those first few replies...

 

[Soodanim]

You have a passion and you work to make something you love. It goes well and all of a sudden you're thrust into the world of bigger business and the public eye for presumably the first time with so much more riding on your passion project than ever before.

I'm not really surprised a culture shock like that took its toll. It makes it all the better that it was such a success knowing that it was one person. Would have been a bit shit if he went through all that for no success.

 

[Johnny Concrete]

He made a deal with a publisher before the launch?

Don’t tell me this guy isn’t a millionaire by now… he also got a percentage, right?

Right?

 

[Ozriel]

What a pathetic mind... That type of Crystal Generation can't stand anything.

We used to fight lions then Germans now people can’t even make a video game without having a nervous breakdown

 

[Ozriel]

He made a deal with a publisher before the launch?

Don’t tell me this guy isn’t a millionaire by now… he also got a percentage, right?

Right?

From the article

It was also in June 2023 – just before LocalThunk originally planned to launch the game – that publisher Playstack got in contact. As the game's momentum continued to grow, he spoke with several different publishers and hired a lawyer to assist with the contract negotiations.

Unless he got the world’s worst lawyer, he probably has a decent chunk of the profits for himself after a particular threshold. He’d also get paid from the GamePass deal.

 

[Spukc]

 

[Gaiff]

What a pussy.

What a pathetic mind... That type of Crystal Generation can't stand anything.

We used to fight lions then Germans now people can’t even make a video game without having a nervous breakdown

The guy singlehandedly made one of the most successful games last year, but we have a bunch of cave dwellers shitting on him. Please, show us the game you made on your own.

 

[SirTerry-T]

Some "hard cunts" in here have clearly never left their parents house, worked a real job or have any clear understanding of the outside world and how it works.

All the best to this guy, hope he gets to enjoy his success.

 

[Chittagong]

Balatro is absolutely amazing. As is the success and recognition. Insane that it’s done by one dude.

 

[vodka-bull]

I‘m sure women get wet just by reading the badass replys from some hard as nails, but still dwelling in their moms basement, 40 year old virgins.

 

[EviLore]

It’s obviously very challenging to put everything you have into a creative, technical product knowing you have one chance to get everything right. He pulled it off beyond any reasonable expectation, won goty awards and has a massive, life-altering success on his hands. Good for him.

 

[cyberheater]

It’s insane how hard we push ourselves sometimes. Lord we are stupid. Good luck dev and I hope you start putting your mental and physical health first.

 

[genesisblock]

It's a really well made game. It's not as addictive as people made it sound, possibly because they might be exposed to casino games. I won a few sessions then I just dropped out. MH wilds has become the cocaine no matter how much "dopamine" this game caused.

 

[T-0800]

Balatro is absolutely amazing. As is the success and recognition. Insane that it’s done by one dude.

A game I'm playing at the moment that is incredible is Tennis Elbow 4. Easily the best tennis game I've ever played and another game made by one guy. I think we need to go back to smaller teams.

 

[Grizzled Ghost]

Complaining about the workplace culture at a one-man company

 

[Freeman76]

This is the thing with burnout, you dont always realise its happening because mentally you are so locked in you dont see the signs until your body sends you messages you cant ignore. Good for him that he made enough from this game he could probably take 5 years off to recover and still be financially stable. I feel for those who dont have that luxury and this is basically their life

 

[Redneckerz]

Some real nasty responses in here, happy for the guy that all his sacrifices payed off.

And done by people with thousands of posts behind their belt, such as Heimdall_Xtreme .

I can imagine the endorphin rush flowing steadily through their veins when they hit send, content as they are with making yet another edgy post for NeoGAF, but this is practically showing zero empathy for someone who busted his ass off to make what seems to be a succesful game.

 

[a'la mode]

When you throw everything at something you really like, it can become an extension of yourself, and you're not just "releasing a game" anymore. Especially when you are a solo developer or any creative really, like an musician releasing their first solo album. It's not "just music", it's you and your self worth. Really glad it worked out for him.

 

[Heimdall_Xtreme]

And done by people with thousands of posts behind their belt, such as Heimdall_Xtreme .

I can imagine the endorphin rush flowing steadily through their veins when they hit send, content as they are with making yet another edgy post for NeoGAF, but this is practically showing zero empathy for someone who busted his ass off to make what seems to be a succesful game.

I can tell you that I have had grade 3 ankle sprains with a completely purple foot and I have never missed work....

Once I had very strong hematuria from being at work alone and far from home and I was not incapacitated....


Moreover, during the covid 19 pandemic I was in an area with people who died and I was wearing a full suit in the middle of the pandemic and I did not get infected and I never asked for a day off....


A guy gets stressed out by making a video game.... Please. In the second world war, there were soldiers who were in Normandy.... Guys who deactivated landmines... People in forests with snowfall waiting like snipers.

There were even Polish spies who volunteered to infiltrate a concentration camp and collect information while alive.


Now it turns out that a person gets stressed out by making a video game and can no longer continue.... For God's sake.

 

[Clear]

A guy gets stressed out by making a video game.... Please. In the second world war, there were soldiers who were in Normandy.... Guys who deactivated landmines... People in forests with snowfall waiting like snipers. Now it turns out that a person gets stressed out by making a video game and can no longer continue.... For God's sake.

Its also pretty insulting to the generations of coders who made games by themselves over the last 50 years.

Its the Phil Fish syndrome... Acting like making a game without corporate support is some sort of singular achievement! Absolute comedy, when factoring in how capable modern hardware, tools, and engines are, not to mention the relative ease of acquiring assets, code. information these days compared to in the past.

 

[Heimdall_Xtreme]

When you throw everything at something you really like, it can become an extension of yourself, and you're not just "releasing a game" anymore. Especially when you are a solo developer or any creative really, like an musician releasing their first solo album. It's not "just music", it's you and your self worth. Really glad it worked out for him.

Indeed. If you work for what you are passionate about... You even enjoy it and can continue. I work and enjoy what I do... If I were a video game developer, I would most likely be very passionate about my job and not complain... I would even be thankful for having a job. It's like the whiners who twist their hands and want to stay home instead of working.

 

[Shifty1897]

The comment section failed the vibe check.

Since everyone here is such a badass, I look forward to your indie game release that will sell 10 million copies. This guy realized this was his make or break moment, a once in a lifetime opportunity to achieve greatness and make a life changing amount of money if he does it right and he had a panic attack over it. I would too.

 

[rkofan87]

reminds me of the flappy bird guy lucky this guy did not take the game away from us

 

[Gaiff]

It’s obviously very challenging to put everything you have into a creative, technical product knowing you have one chance to get everything right. He pulled it off beyond any reasonable expectation, won goty awards and has a massive, life-altering success on his hands. Good for him.

Sure, but how many lions has he killed during that time? Cause that's what real men do. At least in Germany.

 

[Miles708]

Successful guy tells how he got stressed during the creation of a highly technical work
"Lol did he ever even deactivated a mine?"

Some of you are weird.

 

[Killer8]

He should probably get a second opinion on that heart issue being anxiety.

 

[Humdinger]

Good to see the pushback against the "tough guys" early in the thread. Sometimes GAF surprises me (in good ways).

Panic attacks are quite common. They are not something you can control, as anyone who's had one will attest. Having them is completely understandable, given the context. Kudos to him for speaking about it. Most men will not, because they are embarrassed.

I'm glad the game was such a success. I'm sure many people in the industry experience high levels of stress and anxiety which are not followed by huge success. This guy has a lot of acclaim and a huge pile of money to compensate. Most do not.

 

[ReyBrujo]

Its also pretty insulting to the generations of coders who made games by themselves over the last 50 years.

It was different though, you didn't have instant feedback, you were limited to a forum or BBS reach. Nowadays someone in Nepal might complain about something in your game and crash it for good without you even noticing. Just like he got that boost from that Chinese streamer he didn't even know about. Also, the fact that back then people were used at coding at the wee hours of the night (sometimes even staying at the office since they might not have the same computer at home). Internet changed everything.

We have had our crunching sessions as well, a few of us stayed 3 days at the office back in 2006 to debug the last requirements of some stupid CCHIT certification because we thought we could achieve it before the deadline (which we did) but there were others who just didn't stand it (someone had been fired 3 years before because on release day he went home at 6PM and some of his code was broken and we couldn't figure it out how to fix it and gave up at 3AM).

I found the reading pretty interesting. Shared it in another Balatro thread yesterday cause I didn't think it was worthy of its own thread but glad it was.

 

[Heimdall_Xtreme]

The guy singlehandedly made one of the most successful games last year, but we have a bunch of cave dwellers shitting on him. Please, show us the game you made on your own.

Show us the game you created first.

 

[N0S]

 

[Heimdall_Xtreme]

Successful guy tells how he got stressed during the creation of a highly technical work
"Lol did he ever even deactivated a mine?"

Some of you are weird.

There are people who have dangerous jobs, so... That thing about them getting stressed out over developing a video game... Please.

 

[YCoCg]

Show us the game you created first.

Did you really just pull a "no u!"