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Balatro creator details the mental health crisis brought on by his solo-dev masterpiece: "I was in super crunch mode"

SmoothBrain

Member
Glad it turned out the way it did.

Working as a dev on software projects with hard deadlines like game launches isn't easy. There is always this chance of a design flaw, bug, or lack of a different perspective that can completely tank the whole project. It's even worse if you're solo because the initial shock might just let you crumble mentally, and you don't see a way out anymore.

What a pussy.
What a pathetic mind... That type of Crystal Generation can't stand anything.
We used to fight lions then Germans now people can’t even make a video game without having a nervous breakdown

"stop putting trans people in my video games!"
"I have NEVER used any pronouns!"
"games shouldn't be political. They should be fun!"
"lol, they don't want to work in offices and only stay at home!"
- strong-minded cocks, fighting German lions in open office spaces.
 

Heimdall_Xtreme

Hermen Hulst Fanclub's #1 Member
The comment section failed the vibe check.

Since everyone here is such a badass, I look forward to your indie game release that will sell 10 million copies. This guy realized this was his make or break moment, a once in a lifetime opportunity to achieve greatness and make a life changing amount of money if he does it right and he had a panic attack over it. I would too.
In fact, we all have that opportunity in life... I had it and experienced it in my own life... And yet, these are things that, if you have perseverance, you can overcome those obstacles.
 

Heimdall_Xtreme

Hermen Hulst Fanclub's #1 Member
Glad it turned out the way it did.

Working as a dev on software projects with hard deadlines like game launches isn't easy. There is always this chance of a design flaw, bug, or lack of a different perspective that can completely tank the whole project. It's even worse if you're solo because the initial shock might just let you crumble mentally, and you don't see a way out anymore.






"lol, they don't want to work in offices and only stay at home!"
The truth is, there are people like that in the world.
 

Edellus

Member
And done by people with thousands of posts behind their belt, such as Heimdall_Xtreme Heimdall_Xtreme .

I can imagine the endorphin rush flowing steadily through their veins when they hit send, content as they are with making yet another edgy post for NeoGAF, but this is practically showing zero empathy for someone who busted his ass off to make what seems to be a succesful game.

Edge Wwe Meme GIF
I agree. They probably get high on the attention their posts make. Maybe we shouldn't even acknowledge them and then they'd go away eventually, right after they go mental for not getting the attention they crave.
 

Ishma3L

Member
I lump those first replies in with the same people that don't join the military because they'd yell back at the drill instructor or something like that.
 

Chittagong

Gold Member
A game I'm playing at the moment that is incredible is Tennis Elbow 4. Easily the best tennis game I've ever played and another game made by one guy. I think we need to go back to smaller teams.
Thanks, I will need to check it out! I think with AI games made by a single person became increasingly viable
 

Clear

CliffyB's Cock Holster
It was different though, you didn't have instant feedback, you were limited to a forum or BBS reach. Nowadays someone in Nepal might complain about something in your game and crash it for good without you even noticing. Just like he got that boost from that Chinese streamer he didn't even know about. Also, the fact that back then people were used at coding at the wee hours of the night (sometimes even staying at the office since they might not have the same computer at home). Internet changed everything.

We have had our crunching sessions as well, a few of us stayed 3 days at the office back in 2006 to debug the last requirements of some stupid CCHIT certification because we thought we could achieve it before the deadline (which we did) but there were others who just didn't stand it (someone had been fired 3 years before because on release day he went home at 6PM and some of his code was broken and we couldn't figure it out how to fix it and gave up at 3AM).

I found the reading pretty interesting. Shared it in another Balatro thread yesterday cause I didn't think it was worthy of its own thread but glad it was.

In the immortal words of Scotty Steiner - "NO SYMPY!"

Its the job, deal with it.

Listen I could regale you with the worst times I had over my 20-odd years in the business, or the years before that teaching myself 6502 asm where I routinely slept 1 night in 3 chain-smoking constantly over 20, 30, sometimes 40+ hour sessions.

I did it because I chose to, and while "enjoy" is not a word I'd describe the experience I wouldn't take any of it back - even if I could.

I'm sorry, but I guess my generation just weren't so fucking fragile.
 

ReyBrujo

Member
I'm sorry, but I guess my generation just weren't so fucking fragile.

And probably your dad thought you were a pussy for being sitting down playing with a TV while he was fighting in Vietnam or Korea, and your grandfather probably thought your dad was a pussy because he lost two wars whereas he killed dozens of Nazis during the second world war. It's always like this, older generations think young ones are fragile, they will never admit otherwise. I studied quite a lot and worked quite a lot and just as you I wouldn't take anything back, however I won't get mad if someone younger decides that working 8 hours per day is too much while I worked 12 or my dad, 16.
 

Kenneth Haight

Gold Member
lol at the absolute cockends in here pretending they’re immune to any stresses in life. The guy has obviously put a lot of effort in to the game and is explaining how it’s affected his health.

We should all be focussing on our health more rather than working ourselves in to the fucking ground for some company who doesn’t give two shits about you. It’s great to be ambitious and successful but at some point everyone breaks. It’s not “Alpha” to push and push till you end up having a breakdown, it’s idiotic.
 
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Kenneth Haight

Gold Member
And done by people with thousands of posts behind their belt, such as Heimdall_Xtreme Heimdall_Xtreme .

I can imagine the endorphin rush flowing steadily through their veins when they hit send, content as they are with making yet another edgy post for NeoGAF, but this is practically showing zero empathy for someone who busted his ass off to make what seems to be a succesful game.

Edge Wwe Meme GIF
Correct. Heimdall_Xtreme Heimdall_Xtreme who at every moment reminds us he is in love with a video game character unironically, has the balls to comment on someone else’s mental health.
 

Ozriel

M$FT
Indeed. If you work for what you are passionate about... You even enjoy it and can continue. I work and enjoy what I do... If I were a video game developer, I would most likely be very passionate about my job and not complain... I would even be thankful for having a job. It's like the whiners who twist their hands and want to stay home instead of working.

This is such a silly post. It has nothing about being ‘passionate about the job’. The article literally talks about him being passionate and having fun making the game at his pace…and then he signed with a publisher and had a hard deadline to finish the game.

At that point, it’s less around ‘passion’ and more around ‘work’.

I can tell you that I have had grade 3 ankle sprains with a completely purple foot and I have never missed work....

You would not have showed up at work with a sprained ankle if you were a footballer, or your job needed a lot of mobility. In the exact same vein, this guy’s challenges were mental, stress related due to the extreme crunch.

A guy gets stressed out by making a video game.... Please. In the second world war, there were soldiers who were in Normandy.... Guys who deactivated landmines... People in forests with snowfall waiting like snipers.

There were even Polish spies who volunteered to infiltrate a concentration camp and collect information while alive.

There are people like you who use this same rhetoric to mock veterans with PTSD.
 

Clear

CliffyB's Cock Holster
And probably your dad thought you were a pussy for being sitting down playing with a TV while he was fighting in Vietnam or Korea, and your grandfather probably thought your dad was a pussy because he lost two wars whereas he killed dozens of Nazis during the second world war. It's always like this, older generations think young ones are fragile, they will never admit otherwise. I studied quite a lot and worked quite a lot and just as you I wouldn't take anything back, however I won't get mad if someone younger decides that working 8 hours per day is too much while I worked 12 or my dad, 16.

I'd agree with you, but none of those generations were claiming to suffer from mental health crises as a result of being over-worked at times.

Which is my point. I'm not saying that "kids today have it so easy", so much as they claim to suffer from it to a degree that is unprecedented.

In terms of experiential difference, frankly, in coding and game creation generally, things have improved greatly over the past decades, so to a very large degree a lot of the "pain" has been taken out of the process. Debugging and profiling tools matter in terms of performance, and ultimately the actual stress point in all of this is the shortfall of actual versus expected productivity.
 

StereoVsn

Gold Member
Sure, but how many lions has he killed during that time? Cause that's what real men do. At least in Germany.
I am now wondering how Lion import laws work in Germany. Are there tariffs to protect home grown German Lion farms?

Based on this thread, obviously there is a ton of demand! 🧐
 

nkarafo

Member
I don't get it. Wasn't he a solo developer? It's not like he had a boss to tell him what to do. And it's not like everyone was eager for balatro's release, the game became a success after it was already released.
 
I'd agree with you, but none of those generations were claiming to suffer from mental health crises as a result of being over-worked at times.

Which is my point. I'm not saying that "kids today have it so easy", so much as they claim to suffer from it to a degree that is unprecedented.

In terms of experiential difference, frankly, in coding and game creation generally, things have improved greatly over the past decades, so to a very large degree a lot of the "pain" has been taken out of the process. Debugging and profiling tools matter in terms of performance, and ultimately the actual stress point in all of this is the shortfall of actual versus expected productivity.
Except you are saying they have it so easy which is why they shouldn't complain. You are doing that exact thing you're saying you're not doing. Previous generations didn't "claim" to suffer from stress because it was seen as shameful, and they just drank and took it out on their wife and kids instead of "complaining" So much better!

Also, do you think that because debugging and profiling tools exist developers can just go home early now to complain on the internet? Like no other work gets put on their desk when tools help automate tasks? Such a boomer take.
 

Heimdall_Xtreme

Hermen Hulst Fanclub's #1 Member
This is such a silly post. It has nothing about being ‘passionate about the job’. The article literally talks about him being passionate and having fun making the game at his pace…and then he signed with a publisher and had a hard deadline to finish the game.

At that point, it’s less around ‘passion’ and more around ‘work’.



You would not have showed up at work with a sprained ankle if you were a footballer, or your job needed a lot of mobility. In the exact same vein, this guy’s challenges were mental, stress related due to the extreme crunch.



There are people like you who use this same rhetoric to mock veterans with PTSD.
Yes, but they have to overcome obstacles. Everyone has anxiety to some degree, but they can control it if they want to. It's not something that has to be made public, it's personal.

At least is my opinión.
 
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Hugare

Member
I don't get it. Wasn't he a solo developer? It's not like he had a boss to tell him what to do. And it's not like everyone was eager for balatro's release, the game became a success after it was already released.
Missing the forrest for the trees

Dont know what your job is, but speaking during a team meeting can already be anxiety inducing sometimes.

Imagine how much more stressful can be working alone in a game for thousands of hours, giving up on so many birthdays and free time with your significant other and family, while having another work that pays the bills, all of this for a game that may end up being a disaster.

Luckily he was successful, but there are thousands of other stories like this that didnt end well.
 

Wildebeest

Member
I think that many indie game devs are working extreme hours for what can end up being less than 10% of minimum wage. Then internet "leftists" who just consume games, often for free, will call you capitalist scum if you say that the market is oversaturated and maybe people shouldn't just blindly follow their dream of making games.
 

TheSHEEEP

Gold Member
I can tell you that I have had grade 3 ankle sprains with a completely purple foot and I have never missed work....

Once I had very strong hematuria from being at work alone and far from home and I was not incapacitated....
So in other words, you are a bozo without a drive for self-preservation?
Weird flex, but okay.

Assholes putting their small Ds on full parade.
 
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Heimdall_Xtreme

Hermen Hulst Fanclub's #1 Member
So in other words, you are a bozo without a drive for self-preservation?
Weird flex, but okay.

Assholes putting their small Ds on full parade.

Again, we all face obstacles and it is up to us whether we succeed or not.

Fortunately, nothing serious happened to me. And even so, it was not an obstacle to not stopping working.

So let's leave it at that.
 
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Clear

CliffyB's Cock Holster
Except you are saying they have it so easy which is why they shouldn't complain.

They have it easier.

Which isn't to say its not hard, or the work is worth less. Just that its a fact that back then we had less good tools, virtually no middleware, access to information etc.

You are doing that exact thing you're saying you're not doing. Previous generations didn't "claim" to suffer from stress because it was seen as shameful, and they just drank and took it out on their wife and kids instead of "complaining" So much better!

No, it wasn't a matter of "shame" That's utterly ridiculous!

It wasn't the middle-ages ffs!


Also, do you think that because debugging and profiling tools exist developers can just go home early now to complain on the internet? Like no other work gets put on their desk when tools help automate tasks? Such a boomer take.

I'm Gen-X and like most of my generation grew up with a healthy dose of cynicism and fatalism about how the world really works.

The point you're missing again is that back then there wasn't a victimhood culture to appeal to when things weren't going great. We mostly shut up and got on with it because we understood that everyone at some time or other is going through shit in the professional and/or private lives.

You are half-right though, not having the internet to go home to and whinge on, meant it wasn't a vice we were managing from childhood, and there wasn't this weird deal with exhibiting your issues publicly for sympathy... as if anyone really cares!
 

Ozriel

M$FT
Yes, but they have to overcome obstacles. Everyone has anxiety to some degree, but they can control it if they want to. It's not something that has to be made public, it's personal.

At least is my opinión.

He delivered his game, and it won multiple GOTY awards and sold gangbusters.

Making this public is perfectly fine in that context

Everyone has anxiety to some degree, but they can control it if they want to.

Not everyone is facing a tight deadline that could see their publishing deal canceled, diving them into possible poverty.
 

Redneckerz

Those long posts don't cover that red neck boy
I can tell you that I have had grade 3 ankle sprains with a completely purple foot and I have never missed work....

Once I had very strong hematuria from being at work alone and far from home and I was not incapacitated....


Moreover, during the covid 19 pandemic I was in an area with people who died and I was wearing a full suit in the middle of the pandemic and I did not get infected and I never asked for a day off....


A guy gets stressed out by making a video game.... Please. In the second world war, there were soldiers who were in Normandy.... Guys who deactivated landmines... People in forests with snowfall waiting like snipers.

There were even Polish spies who volunteered to infiltrate a concentration camp and collect information while alive.


Now it turns out that a person gets stressed out by making a video game and can no longer continue.... For God's sake.
I like that you felt the need to reassure yourself by making a comparison with your own line of duty. Really doesn't highlight the insecurity on display, but i digress.

Having said that, obviously both situations aren't comparable. It is fully understandable that a one man show, faced with things like these can get in wallop. But hey, if you like doing what you love to do, it is a choice you deliberately made. And so they did.

To me it feels very strange to, for no reason at all, talk down on someone who simply describes their thought process when developing the game and what kind of toll it put on them, to not only feel the need like a internet badass about it, but also feeling it needed to make a comparison with your own line of work.

It doesn't portray you as a hardass, rather it is a weakness. That you felt the need to talk down someone who describes their thought process simply because you made different choices in life.
The comment section failed the vibe check.

Since everyone here is such a badass, I look forward to your indie game release that will sell 10 million copies. This guy realized this was his make or break moment, a once in a lifetime opportunity to achieve greatness and make a life changing amount of money if he does it right and he had a panic attack over it. I would too.
I think its perfectly normal to get this way - But i don't think its normal that your health has to be on the line for this. It says something about this industry that people consider sacrificing their own state of mind to get these games out - only for some folks on the internet to essentially say they shouldn't be such wimps. The problem isn't the developer itself, its that the industry as a whole accepts the concept of putting your health on the line just to get a game out.

I am not saying people are lazy. But i am saying that this concept needs to be re-evaluated.

I agree. They probably get high on the attention their posts make. Maybe we shouldn't even acknowledge them and then they'd go away eventually, right after they go mental for not getting the attention they crave.
I am not here often enough to be aware of Heimdall's (Or any other hardliners) posting patterns. I am simply commenting how strange it is to talk smack about someone completely unknown to you in private life purely because they made a game, and are now describing how that went for them.

Correct. Heimdall_Xtreme Heimdall_Xtreme who at every moment reminds us he is in love with a video game character unironically, has the balls to comment on someone else’s mental health.
In my experience on this forum, people who act like this eventually cop a perma and then its people like you and me who are still here. Or, in terms of internet badassery, we win and own it then.
 

nkarafo

Member
Missing the forrest for the trees

Dont know what your job is, but speaking during a team meeting can already be anxiety inducing sometimes.

Imagine how much more stressful can be working alone in a game for thousands of hours, giving up on so many birthdays and free time with your significant other and family, while having another work that pays the bills, all of this for a game that may end up being a disaster.

Luckily he was successful, but there are thousands of other stories like this that didnt end well.
That's not what i'm talking about. He talks about "super crunch mode" according to the title.

Nobody else forced him to do crunch but himself.
 

Hugare

Member
That's not what i'm talking about. He talks about "super crunch mode" according to the title.

Nobody else forced him to do crunch but himself.
Yeah, and you missed the point on why he crunched. And you still do.

I gave you many reasons on why he would decide to crunch in order to deliver the game as soon as possible. If you still dont understand why, there's nothing more that I can do.
 

Heimdall_Xtreme

Hermen Hulst Fanclub's #1 Member
He delivered his game, and it won multiple GOTY awards and sold gangbusters.

Making this public is perfectly fine in that context



Not everyone is facing a tight deadline that could see their publishing deal canceled, diving them into possible poverty.
You right in this
 

Heimdall_Xtreme

Hermen Hulst Fanclub's #1 Member
I like that you felt the need to reassure yourself by making a comparison with your own line of duty. Really doesn't highlight the insecurity on display, but i digress.

Having said that, obviously both situations aren't comparable. It is fully understandable that a one man show, faced with things like these can get in wallop. But hey, if you like doing what you love to do, it is a choice you deliberately made. And so they did.

To me it feels very strange to, for no reason at all, talk down on someone who simply describes their thought process when developing the game and what kind of toll it put on them, to not only feel the need like a internet badass about it, but also feeling it needed to make a comparison with your own line of work.

It doesn't portray you as a hardass, rather it is a weakness. That you felt the need to talk down someone who describes their thought process simply because you made different choices in life.

I think its perfectly normal to get this way - But i don't think its normal that your health has to be on the line for this. It says something about this industry that people consider sacrificing their own state of mind to get these games out - only for some folks on the internet to essentially say they shouldn't be such wimps. The problem isn't the developer itself, its that the industry as a whole accepts the concept of putting your health on the line just to get a game out.

I am not saying people are lazy. But i am saying that this concept needs to be re-evaluated.


I am not here often enough to be aware of Heimdall's (Or any other hardliners) posting patterns. I am simply commenting how strange it is to talk smack about someone completely unknown to you in private life purely because they made a game, and are now describing how that went for them.


In my experience on this forum, people who act like this eventually cop a perma and then its people like you and me who are still here. Or, in terms of internet badassery, we win and own it then.
I'm not actually saying that to be rude... It's not even my intention, nor do I have any intention to stand out... But I mean that we all feel anxiety and yes... The circumstances are different... It is a merit that he earns a lot for his action... So, my message is not to make myself feel the best or anything... But that obstacles can be overcome.
 

Topher

Identifies as young
Impressive he was able to achieve such an incredibly well-received game.......by himself. Doing something like that can't be easy. Obviously he poured his heart and soul into it. Stress can bring down the toughest guys around, but he perservered and pushed through it. I see nothing weak in what he was able to accomplish.
 
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nkarafo

Member
Yeah, and you missed the point on why he crunched. And you still do.

I gave you many reasons on why he would decide to crunch in order to deliver the game as soon as possible. If you still dont understand why, there's nothing more that I can do.
I guess i should have read the whole article instead of just the title, my bad.

I remember watching a Youtube Balatro streamer who mentioned some things about the game's development one day and it gave me the false impression it was a more carefree endeavor, as in the developer never intended for the game to be a success and more like a fun side project for himself.
 
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