Hello one and all, it's time for the results!
We only had 10 entries into the competition, and to be fair - I really loved them all!
But there could only be 5 finalists, and just one winner - so here we go!
Firstly, the 5 entries that didn't end up making the cut. I'm sorry to have had to pass these up and they're definitely still great - here goes! In no particular order:
PS. most people didn't actually name their entries, so I'm in the place of the actual names, I'm just going to use the PM titles I was sent.
From Windswept Spires by
Miri
Gotham, its my home and my hell all the same,
With the shame only getting worse the higher I get;
Eyeing liars who forever forget,
That even the worst of their desires are met,
With eyes before they even happen to realize they desire them:
Mine, with the mind of a criminal.
A little something subliminal, its not.
I've come to tell myself that its justice, not catharsis,
But those whispers have gotten quieter,
And my hits have gotten harder.
The scum have gotten smarter,
But even still;
Its the goddamn Batman,
Is all theyll ever mutter before they make for rest.
--
Poem by
Jarlaxle
Catwoman, friend or foe?
All I know is my eyes are lookin low
Did she just try and make a pass?
What I wouldnt give for a shot at dat ass
Jokers always clownin around
Id love to take Harley to town
I know shes a bit of a nutcase
But Im sure I could put a smile on that face
Poison Ivys lookin quite fine
Her hair smells full of pine
Shes got a special kind of love for plants
Cant wait to see her expression when I take off my pants.
My baby mamas Talia Al Ghul
She knows how much I fuckin rule
Dressed all in black head to toe
Ill be making people reap what they sow
Its that time of night
Time to get loose and time to fight
Im lookin for some ladies to be my fan
Cause yall know Im the Goddamn Batman!
--
Batman Poem by
JohngPR
This town needs an enema?
More like this town needs an E. Nygma
Villians and Rogues taking over Gotham
There's only one fucker crazy enough to stop them
Batman Batman Batman
An asshole for every season
Batman Batman Batman
He's on his 4th Robin for a reason
Batman Batman Batman
He's crazier than his villains
Batman Batman Batman
His pocketbook reaches trillions
The Dark Knight fights the good fight, psychotic to the bone
He's a dick and an asshole, this is why Superman works alone
If Batman's parents didn't die, he would've turned out evil
But they did and Batman lives, going straight medieval
Batman Batman Batman
An asshole for every season
Batman Batman Batman
He's on his 4th Robin for a reason
Batman Batman Batman
He's crazier than his villains
Batman Batman Batman
His pocketbook reaches trillions
--
My Batman Epic by
Solo
I'm the goddamn Batman
My parents are dead
I may be a dick
And this might all be in my head
--
Batman PC Code Poem Entry by
zlatko
There is a place where the Joker ends
And before the Boy wonder begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the caped crusader rests from his flight
To cool in the Gotham wind.
Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the Poison Ivy flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the bright white Signal beams go
To the place where the Catwoman ends.
Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the bright white signal beams go,
For the villains, they mark, and the villains, they know
The place where the goddaman Batman begins.
--
Batman Poem by
Yaska
Deep in the night I glide
Punching the bad guys that hide
Thinking "I'm the goddamn Batman"
Thanks to you guys for entering! Very much enjoyed reading your entries.
And now for the runner-ups. Again, these are all quality, and I'm sorry you couldn't all win - here goes!
Hello! by
GraveRobberX
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?, My foe said to me
Laughing on the outside, his smile just skin deep
If you could see inside him, he really is crying,
With such sadness you might join him for a weep
I'm the Goddamn Batman, I don't fall for his tricks
BAM!, POW! WHOMP! go my fists
He lays fallen, screaming "HAHAHA, this isn't over by any means"
But the laughter stops, due to my reply,
"Dick Butt!"
My darkest nights, always bring the brightest days
Time to prepare, makes villians scared
My rogues gallery puts others to shame
Even Superman believes, DC is to blame
I go through sidekicks like Prince changes his name
If this continues, what about my fame as Bruce Wayne
Gotham, my city, it sleeps peacefully
Because no crime can escape me
I will protect it from all hostilities, this I swear!
I am vengeance,
I am the night
I am Batman!, so remember the name
--
Batman Haiku by
Lonestar
Na Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Batman
--
Batman Arkham City Poem by
GoncaloCCastro
http://www.mediafire.com/?60japzah9pnyvu1
Goddam batman, that's what I am
Bitches be crazy if they think I can't
Take down the joker and his henchmen
Bitches be crazy if they think I can't
Take down Two Face with my batarang
Bitches be crazy if they think I can't
Take down the Penguin with a slice of ham
Yeah that's right. ham. cause penguins eat fish
And ham is my favorite dish
Not really but you get my point
Rhyming is not my strongest ability
Bit I don't disappoint
In my virility
This city is rotten
This city is dying
This city is burning
But it ain't forgotten
I'm going to save it
Because that's what's right
I'm the goddamn Batman
It's time to fight
--
The Goddamn Butler by
Mr. Sam
I'm the goddamn Butler - Alfred is my name,
Please do take a seat,
I'll tell you about my dubious claim to fame.
As a boy, young Bruce's parents were taken from him,
Gentleman by name o' Joe Chill,
With a gat in an alley, made an orphan of him.
I smile, I bow, I'm polite,
Master Bruce wears a cape,
Fights crime by night.
While The Joker swallows his own blood,
I'm doing the laundry,
Getting rid of stains of grass and mud.
While Two-Face feels justice's heavy fist,
I drive around town,
Checking off Master Bruce's shopping list.
While Penguin is made to eat crow,
I rid Wayne Manor of dust,
On shelves high and low.
Master Bruce cloaks himself in the night,
I wear a cloak at night.
Master Bruce caves villains' faces in,
I deal with this troublesome wash basin.
Master Bruce climbs on rooves,
I play DDR, showing off my moves.
I'm no mere butler,
No mere servant of the Knight,
I'm kickin' it old school,
My rhymes are relentlessly tight.
I'm no humble slave,
I'm the real protector of truth,
The true master of the Bat Cave.
Master Bruce isn't the only Caped Crusader,
I'm a dab hand at Infinity Blade,
And viciously good at Space Invaders.
This game runs on Unreal Engine 3,
I've a stack of glistening muscles,
All thanks to Cliff Bleszinski.
I make love like Jazz Jackrabbit,
I fight like Marcus Fenix,
I'll even tell you a joke or two about my twelve inch pianist.
And please, I have no trouble with women,
Though I'll admit it was my time in the navy,
When I saw my fair share of seamen.
Batman may be flirtatious with Selina Kyle,
But it's to me she comes,
When she wants to laugh and to smile.
Yes, you may mock because my accent is very thick,
But I'll tell you to fetch your coat,
And to choke on my Master Dick.
As I said - all exceptionally quality - thanks so much you guys for entering!
Finally, here's the winner! I chose this for several reasons;
1. I fucking love haiku
2. It literally made me spit my drink out, I was laughing so much when I read it
3. Bribery. Just kidding.
Batman Poem by
barnone
Catwoman stuntin'
Bitch I'm the goddamn Batman
But dat ass helps out
Congratulations barnone - a shiny Batman Arkham City code will be sitting in your inbox in a few minutes - to everyone else, thanks very much for playing - I hope you somehow all manage to get free copies of Batman from somewhere anyway!
