Jedeye Sniv
Banned
I've been thinking a lot about my own mortality the last 24 hours and I think I've finally felt that weird spark that can drive people to religion. I mean, the concept of it was always clear in my head, but it's only really just clicked about how scary the idea of death is and how religion can give answers and possibly comfort to those frightened of it. Like, I'm sitting in bed right now in complete silence realising the view of the afterlife I have might eventually become reality for myself. I've only ever seen it as a complete dead end for a person where everything just stops, but that person was never me. I'm 20 and only now do I genuinely realise that one day I'll end up dying.
It feels so fucking upsetting, man. I don't want to die.
I felt like this once but I was tripping my balls off on mushrooms. So my advice is to do some mushrooms. It'll take you right up to the precipice of sheer existential terror, so you can have a nice long look over the edge. I think it's something to do with your young but maturing age, you're about to get to the point where you realise this is what life is. For the rest of your life. Which is either a very long time or a very short time depending on your perspective.