Support NeoGAF

[Stinkles]

Assistant to Office manager/HR here. Gonna give OP and rest of GAF some perspective.

There are three parts where he could have over reacted.

OP complaining to co-worker about sniffing his food
OP asking for him to buy replacing the food he sniffed
OP placing the food co-worker sniffed on his desk

Well let's go through it.

Did OP buy his food for his coworker to sniff it in close proximity? No
Did OP ask him to sniff his food before he ate it? No
Did coworker ask for permission to touch OP's food? No
Did coworker ask for permission to sniff OP's food? No
Should OP be forced to eat food he's not comfortable eating? Of course not
Yes, the people who prepared his food may have germs, but said people and establishment has to make sure the kitchen, cookware, and cooking practices are up to code in order to serve food, his coworker is not held to the same standard, so OP shouldn't assume that his face, follicles, hair, skin are perfectly clean and harmless. OP already said he doesn't know him.
Is it customary in OP's office to touch things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to sniff things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to not ask for permission before doing any of the above two? Probably not
Serah admitted that she would not eat food that a person she doesn't know already sniffed from so at the very least she understand why OP was upset. OP isn't 100% in the wrong. If a person does something you don't approve of, which Serah and OP has acknowledged, then why would you not tell said person to stop it? If not, they will think that behavior is acceptable. But not telling them, you are reinforcing something you find unacceptable to YOUR belongings.
What kind of tolerance people have with their own stuff is on them, but people have to respect how you feel about your own stuff. Especially if they didn't pay for it and/or is not theirs to begin with. Serah is completely wrong and thank goodness she isn't in HR.

This is probably gonna fall on deaf ears, but OP you were right. I can't believe 100% of the people who finds strangers putting their faces in close proximity to their food is comfortable to eat it afterwards and to think it's acceptable after the fact.

If the coworker thinks you are an asshole for it, he's probably not worth getting chummy with anyhow. Respect people's personal space and their belongings. If you didn't ask for permission, don't assume that it's okay.

Glad you're not doing hr in my organization. You've provided zero perspective or insight beyond having officious versions of the OPs overreactions and you have his and other posters absurd penchant for overstating the "danger" and"inavsive behavior"

And your post was overlong and redundant.

 

[Blackthorn]

Next week, on NeoGAF:

Coworker complimented my girlfriend. I kidnapped his family. Am I being unfair?

 

[n00bsauce87]

Glad you're not doing hr in my organization. You've provided zero perspective or insight beyond having officious versions of the OPs overreactions and you have his and other posters absurd penchant for overstating the "danger" and"inavsive behavior"

And your post was overlong and redundant.

tl;dr

Do Not Touch What Isn't Yours.

Acceptable office behavior no?

If you can offer situations to the contrary, I'm open to hear them. This is open to anyone btw.

 

[Jonm1010]

Assistant to Office manager/HR here. Gonna give OP and rest of GAF some perspective.

There are three parts where he could have over reacted.

OP complaining to co-worker about sniffing his food
OP asking for him to buy replacing the food he sniffed
OP placing the food co-worker sniffed on his desk

Well let's go through it.

Did OP buy his food for his coworker to sniff it in close proximity? No
Did OP ask him to sniff his food before he ate it? No
Did coworker ask for permission to touch OP's food? No
Did coworker ask for permission to sniff OP's food? No
Should OP be forced to eat food he's not comfortable eating? Of course not
Yes, the people who prepared his food may have germs, but said people and establishment has to make sure the kitchen, cookware, and cooking practices are up to code in order to serve food, his coworker is not held to the same standard, so OP shouldn't assume that his face, follicles, hair, skin are perfectly clean and harmless. OP already said he doesn't know him.
Is it customary in OP's office to touch things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to sniff things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to not ask for permission before doing any of the above two? Probably not
Serah admitted that she would not eat food that a person she doesn't know already sniffed from so at the very least she understand why OP was upset. OP isn't 100% in the wrong. If a person does something you don't approve of, which Serah and OP has acknowledged, then why would you not tell said person to stop it? If not, they will think that behavior is acceptable. But not telling them, you are reinforcing something you find unacceptable to YOUR belongings.
What kind of tolerance people have with their own stuff is on them, but people have to respect how you feel about your own stuff. Especially if they didn't pay for it and/or is not theirs to begin with. Serah is completely wrong and thank goodness she isn't in HR.

This is probably gonna fall on deaf ears, but OP you were right. I can't believe 100% of the people who finds strangers putting their faces in close proximity to their food is comfortable to eat it afterwards and to think it's acceptable after the fact.

If the coworker thinks you are an asshole for it, he's probably not worth getting chummy with anyhow. Respect people's personal space and their belongings. If you didn't ask for permission, don't assume that it's okay.

1.) I have yet to read a single post that has said what the coworker did was 100% alright.

2.) There is a big gap between letting a person know respectfully that what they have done is not ok to them and what the OP actually did.

For a human resources person I don't know why you spent zero time analyzing or speaking to whether the OP made a congruent and proportional response to the harm he sought to remedy through his confrontation? Since the argument the vast majority of the thread has made is that he in fact did not. That he went way overboard. After all, if we just ignore the analysis of appropriate response, then all your argument implies is that as long as a wrong can be established to have been committed, any response to that wrong is justified. Which is absurd.

 

[Stinkles]

tl;dr

Do Not Touch What Isn't Yours.

Acceptable office behavior no?

If you can offer situations to the contrary, I'm open to hear them. This is open to anyone btw.

He originally didn't confirm any touching and adapted his still massive overreaction and the story as the dogpile ensued.

 

[n00bsauce87]

1.) I have yet to read a single post that has said what the coworker did was 100% alright.

2.) There is a big gap between letting a person know respectfully that what they have done is not ok to them and what the OP actually did.

For a human resources person I don't know why you spent zero time analyzing or speaking to whether the OP made a congruent and proportional response to the harm he sought to remedy through his confrontation? Since the argument the vast majority of the thread has made is that he in fact did not. That he went way overboard. After all, if we just ignore the analysis of appropriate response, then all your argument implies is that as long as a wrong can be established to have been committed, any response to that wrong is justified. Which is absurd.

Like toss the food in his face? throw it away?

"any" response didn't happen

He told him that it was unacceptable and he didn't want his food anymore. unless OP was lied, he didn't yell at him or berate him.

 

[jstripes]

Assistant to Office manager/HR here. Gonna give OP and rest of GAF some perspective.

There are three parts where he could have over reacted.

OP complaining to co-worker about sniffing his food
OP asking for him to buy replacing the food he sniffed
OP placing the food co-worker sniffed on his desk

Well let's go through it.

Did OP buy his food for his coworker to sniff it in close proximity? No
Did OP ask him to sniff his food before he ate it? No
Did coworker ask for permission to touch OP's food? No
Did coworker ask for permission to sniff OP's food? No
Should OP be forced to eat food he's not comfortable eating? Of course not
Yes, the people who prepared his food may have germs, but said people and establishment has to make sure the kitchen, cookware, and cooking practices are up to code in order to serve food, his coworker is not held to the same standard, so OP shouldn't assume that his face, follicles, hair, skin are perfectly clean and harmless. OP already said he doesn't know him.
Is it customary in OP's office to touch things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to sniff things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to not ask for permission before doing any of the above two? Probably not
Serah admitted that she would not eat food that a person she doesn't know already sniffed from so at the very least she understand why OP was upset. OP isn't 100% in the wrong. If a person does something you don't approve of, which Serah and OP has acknowledged, then why would you not tell said person to stop it? If not, they will think that behavior is acceptable. But not telling them, you are reinforcing something you find unacceptable to YOUR belongings.
What kind of tolerance people have with their own stuff is on them, but people have to respect how you feel about your own stuff. Especially if they didn't pay for it and/or is not theirs to begin with. Serah is completely wrong and thank goodness she isn't in HR.

You were even kind enough to not throw it away and gave it to him. He should have either saved it to eat it at some other time or tossed it himself.
In your eyes, coworker made your food inedible. If he didn't touch/smell it, this wouldn't be the case. He didn't ask for permission so he should have made some attempt to make it right. Not even an apology or acknowledgement that you were upset about it. He should have at least come half way if he TRULY felt you were trying to get over on him.

And why would you buy food for your lunch just to make someone else pay for some more food? The point was to not be hungry from lunch until close of business, not to extract money from his pocket for the lolz. OP still paid for the initial lunch. How dense is that logic?

This is probably gonna fall on deaf ears, but OP you were right. I can't believe 100% of the people who finds strangers putting their faces in close proximity to their food is comfortable to eat it afterwards and to think it's acceptable after the fact.

If the coworker thinks you are an asshole for it, he's probably not worth getting chummy with anyhow. Respect people's personal space and their belongings. If you didn't ask for permission, don't assume that it's okay.

Sterile bureaucracy.

Gotta love it.

 

[RichiRamjag]

Assistant to Office manager/HR here. Gonna give OP and rest of GAF some perspective.

There are three parts where he could have over reacted.

OP complaining to co-worker about sniffing his food
OP asking for him to buy replacing the food he sniffed
OP placing the food co-worker sniffed on his desk

Well let's go through it.

Did OP buy his food for his coworker to sniff it in close proximity? No
Did OP ask him to sniff his food before he ate it? No
Did coworker ask for permission to touch OP's food? No
Did coworker ask for permission to sniff OP's food? No
Should OP be forced to eat food he's not comfortable eating? Of course not
Yes, the people who prepared his food may have germs, but said people and establishment has to make sure the kitchen, cookware, and cooking practices are up to code in order to serve food, his coworker is not held to the same standard, so OP shouldn't assume that his face, follicles, hair, skin are perfectly clean and harmless. OP already said he doesn't know him.
Is it customary in OP's office to touch things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to sniff things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to not ask for permission before doing any of the above two? Probably not
Serah admitted that she would not eat food that a person she doesn't know already sniffed from so at the very least she understand why OP was upset. OP isn't 100% in the wrong. If a person does something you don't approve of, which Serah and OP has acknowledged, then why would you not tell said person to stop it? If not, they will think that behavior is acceptable. But not telling them, you are reinforcing something you find unacceptable to YOUR belongings.
What kind of tolerance people have with their own stuff is on them, but people have to respect how you feel about your own stuff. Especially if they didn't pay for it and/or is not theirs to begin with. Serah is completely wrong and thank goodness she isn't in HR.

You were even kind enough to not throw it away and gave it to him. He should have either saved it to eat it at some other time or tossed it himself.
In your eyes, coworker made your food inedible. If he didn't touch/smell it, this wouldn't be the case. He didn't ask for permission so he should have made some attempt to make it right. Not even an apology or acknowledgement that you were upset about it. He should have at least come half way if he TRULY felt you were trying to get over on him.

And why would you buy food for your lunch just to make someone else pay for some more food? The point was to not be hungry from lunch until close of business, not to extract money from his pocket for the lolz. OP still paid for the initial lunch. How dense is that logic?

This is probably gonna fall on deaf ears, but OP you were right. I can't believe 100% of the people who finds strangers putting their faces in close proximity to their food is comfortable to eat it afterwards and to think it's acceptable after the fact.

If the coworker thinks you are an asshole for it, he's probably not worth getting chummy with anyhow. Respect people's personal space and their belongings. If you didn't ask for permission, don't assume that it's okay.

Glad you're not doing hr in my organization. You've provided zero perspective or insight beyond having officious versions of the OPs overreactions and you have his and other posters absurd penchant for overstating the "danger" and"inavsive behavior"

And your post was overlong and redundant.

What stinkles said. You stink!

tl;dr

Do Not Touch What Isn't Yours.

Acceptable office behavior no?

If you can offer situations to the contrary, I'm open to hear them. This is open to anyone btw.

Perhaps not, but you calmly ask the guy to not touch your food then. It isn't hard to explain that you don't like people near your food politely. What you don't do is make a scene in an office and demand he buy you a new lunch and leave yours on his desk in anger. I'm not buying that you're HR and you don't realize this.

 

[ringlord]

It seems that Arnold may be on the mild end of the Autism Spectrum (Asperger's perhaps). Inappropriate social behavior can be one obvious symptom. His talking loudly when not appropriate, sensory issues (smells, sounds, etc), laughing inappropriately, etc can all be indicators.

If this is the case, then it's not his fault and there's not much he can do to control it. He doesn't realize he's being inappropriate.

I see this kind of stuff with my son (diagnosed autism) all the time. Recently we were at a hotel that served breakfast and they didn't have any foods he normally likes. He loves pancakes but they only had waffles that you baked yourself on a waffle iron. We stood in line waiting our turn and he kept asking me about the waffles. "They're just like pancakes, just a different shape" I told him.

When the guy in front of us finished baking his and put it on his plate, my son got real close and tried to sniff it. I know he was just trying to see if it smelled like a pancake, to assure himself that he would like it. The other guy obviously didn't have any such context and was slightly put off. I pulled by son gently away from the guys plate and told him "you don't smell other people's food. It's not polite."

People with ASD have no idea that some of their actions are impolite or socially awkward. They have to explicitly learn these things, rather than implicitly picking them up from the normal social cues like the rest of us do.

All this to say, Arnold may seem like a bit of a weirdo but it may just be the way his brain is wired and there's not much he can do about it. Calmly telling him what he's doing is impolite is about the only thing you can do.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Assistant to Office manager/HR here. Gonna give OP and rest of GAF some perspective.

There are three parts where he could have over reacted.

OP complaining to co-worker about sniffing his food
OP asking for him to buy replacing the food he sniffed
OP placing the food co-worker sniffed on his desk

Well let's go through it.

Did OP buy his food for his coworker to sniff it in close proximity? No
Did OP ask him to sniff his food before he ate it? No
Did coworker ask for permission to touch OP's food? No
Did coworker ask for permission to sniff OP's food? No
Should OP be forced to eat food he's not comfortable eating? Of course not
Yes, the people who prepared his food may have germs, but said people and establishment has to make sure the kitchen, cookware, and cooking practices are up to code in order to serve food, his coworker is not held to the same standard, so OP shouldn't assume that his face, follicles, hair, skin are perfectly clean and harmless. OP already said he doesn't know him.
Is it customary in OP's office to touch things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to sniff things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to not ask for permission before doing any of the above two? Probably not
Serah admitted that she would not eat food that a person she doesn't know already sniffed from so at the very least she understand why OP was upset. OP isn't 100% in the wrong. If a person does something you don't approve of, which Serah and OP has acknowledged, then why would you not tell said person to stop it? If not, they will think that behavior is acceptable. But not telling them, you are reinforcing something you find unacceptable to YOUR belongings.
What kind of tolerance people have with their own stuff is on them, but people have to respect how you feel about your own stuff. Especially if they didn't pay for it and/or is not theirs to begin with. Serah is completely wrong and thank goodness she isn't in HR.

You were even kind enough to not throw it away and gave it to him. He should have either saved it to eat it at some other time or tossed it himself.
In your eyes, coworker made your food inedible. If he didn't touch/smell it, this wouldn't be the case. He didn't ask for permission so he should have made some attempt to make it right. Not even an apology or acknowledgement that you were upset about it. He should have at least come half way if he TRULY felt you were trying to get over on him.

And why would you buy food for your lunch just to make someone else pay for some more food? The point was to not be hungry from lunch until close of business, not to extract money from his pocket for the lolz. OP still paid for the initial lunch. How dense is that logic?

This is probably gonna fall on deaf ears, but OP you were right. I can't believe 100% of the people who finds strangers putting their faces in close proximity to their food is comfortable to eat it afterwards and to think it's acceptable after the fact.

If the coworker thinks you are an asshole for it, he's probably not worth getting chummy with anyhow. Respect people's personal space and their belongings. If you didn't ask for permission, don't assume that it's okay.

Assistant. You can see why, try hard.

 

[EdisonTrent]

I share utensils, straws for the same drink, take bites out of a single thingie of food with some of my friends. Sorry for being such a freak OP.

You were not being very diplomatic with your overreaction. You are free to feel disgusted to such an extent that you can't eat the food, but forcing him to pay for another is right on the edge of unreasonable-ness.

 

[NervousXtian]

Assistant. You can see why, try hard.

I'm fucking dying.

 

[Jonm1010]

Like toss the food in his face? throw it away?

"any" response didn't happen

He told him that it was unacceptable and he didn't want his food anymore. unless OP was lied, he didn't yell at him or berate him.

So yelling and berating is the only line that can't be crossed in your organization?

I guess in your warped logic one wrong should be addressed with another wrong?

The co-worker sniffed his food. No one is saying that is appropriate. The OP's response in his words made a scene and told him to buy him another lunch(he claims he said it jokingly but we all know he meant it and given the co-workers response he didn't think he was joking) and then the OP passive aggressively placed the food at the co-workers desk after the prior passive aggressive exchange was completed. Thus creating a second confrontation after the first. That in no way whatsoever can be justified.

So even if we take the OP's rationale at face value, that he was trying to bring attention to the co-workers wrong doing, he went about it in a way that no organization would consider an appropriate manner. Secondly we have the proportionality aspect. Which has been touched on countless times already.

The co-worker was in the wrong, but to sit there and argue the OP wasn't as well is just absurd.

 

[RichiRamjag]

Assistant. You can see why, try hard.

Cold as ice.

 

[n00bsauce87]

He originally didn't confirm any touching and adapted his still massive overreaction and the story as the dogpile ensued.

Well, let's see what he said:

At the time I was refilling my water bottle with water, where I can clearly see Arnold pick up my food container, flip up the lid, and SNIFF my food. My food was so close to his face, I swear I could see the front part of the lid brush up against his top lip.

Did OP confirm touching?

Yes, well what else did OP say?

Thank you. Matter of fact he wiped his hands on his slacks because he had grease/sauce from the chicken on them. Of all the time I've worked with people, that's was probably the most invaded I ever felt. I don't know whether he washes his hands or is sick. He snorts occasionally and blames 'allergies'. He digs in his ears at his desk. I wouldn't touch anything of his, so why did he feel compelled to pick up and finesse and caress my food? I'm very particular about my food. I would hope most people are.

Did OP confirm coworkers bare hands on his food? Yes

Did OP confirm unknowing and/or bad personal hygiene? Yes

Did OP confirm his preference for personal space for his food? Yes

He can be an OCD bubble boy tier of germaphobia, but still respect his personal space and the space of his belongings if permission is not granted.

I saw that he admitted to being passive aggressive by putting the food on his desk. I can understand that. But OP also confirmed coworker took it home. He could have wasted the food, but didn't. He said he would apologize. I think it would only be warranted if the coworker did the same.

 

[TheOmegaSpartan]

I have a coworker who is just like this. He's Romanian and always seems to invade your personal space and speaks incessantly to you. He's annoying at best but otherwise friendly and harmless. I suppose, in your case, he didn't seem to do anything wrong due to the cultural divide, so he took offense to your reaction.

 

[Catdaddy]

You shouldn't be eating at your desk..

 

[SaganIsGOAT]

This seems like it could be a Seinfeld episode. Huge overreaction on your part lmao

 

[Gumbie]

Assistant. You can see why, try hard.

 

[Jonm1010]

He has no idea if he took it home. Remember, he didn't see Arnold because Arnold no longer wanted to talk to him.

He assumed he took it home. In all possibility it was thrown away.

 

[NervousXtian]

I just wonder what it must be like to go through life where shit like someone smelling your food would bother you so much to make a scene, and then post about it on a message board.

I mean, it's great entertainment for the rest of us, but underneath all that it's just so strange how people get bent out of shape over the most inconsequential bullshit.

 

[univariate]

GO TO THE DOCTOR

 

[boiled goose]

"Did you just sniff my food?" He says yes, and I immediately go "Well you can have that one and get me another one. I don't want your nose hair and breath and boogers in my food."

I said this nicely.

Yeah...

 

[Alligatorjandro]

Uncivilized food sniffers

 

[Beefy]

Hmm, why didn't OP say about the guy touching his food at first?

 

[The Jackdog]

Assistant to Office manager/HR here. Gonna give OP and rest of GAF some perspective.

There are three parts where he could have over reacted.

OP complaining to co-worker about sniffing his food
OP asking for him to buy replacing the food he sniffed
OP placing the food co-worker sniffed on his desk

Well let's go through it.

Did OP buy his food for his coworker to sniff it in close proximity? No
Did OP ask him to sniff his food before he ate it? No
Did coworker ask for permission to touch OP's food? No
Did coworker ask for permission to sniff OP's food? No
Should OP be forced to eat food he's not comfortable eating? Of course not
Yes, the people who prepared his food may have germs, but said people and establishment has to make sure the kitchen, cookware, and cooking practices are up to code in order to serve food, his coworker is not held to the same standard, so OP shouldn't assume that his face, follicles, hair, skin are perfectly clean and harmless. OP already said he doesn't know him.
Is it customary in OP's office to touch things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to sniff things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to not ask for permission before doing any of the above two? Probably not
Serah admitted that she would not eat food that a person she doesn't know already sniffed from so at the very least she understand why OP was upset. OP isn't 100% in the wrong. If a person does something you don't approve of, which Serah and OP has acknowledged, then why would you not tell said person to stop it? If not, they will think that behavior is acceptable. But not telling them, you are reinforcing something you find unacceptable to YOUR belongings.
What kind of tolerance people have with their own stuff is on them, but people have to respect how you feel about your own stuff. Especially if they didn't pay for it and/or is not theirs to begin with. Serah is completely wrong and thank goodness she isn't in HR.

You were even kind enough to not throw it away and gave it to him. He should have either saved it to eat it at some other time or tossed it himself.
In your eyes, coworker made your food inedible. If he didn't touch/smell it, this wouldn't be the case. He didn't ask for permission so he should have made some attempt to make it right. Not even an apology or acknowledgement that you were upset about it. He should have at least come half way if he TRULY felt you were trying to get over on him.

And why would you buy food for your lunch just to make someone else pay for some more food? The point was to not be hungry from lunch until close of business, not to extract money from his pocket for the lolz. OP still paid for the initial lunch. How dense is that logic?

This is probably gonna fall on deaf ears, but OP you were right. I can't believe 100% of the people who finds strangers putting their faces in close proximity to their food is comfortable to eat it afterwards and to think it's acceptable after the fact.

If the coworker thinks you are an asshole for it, he's probably not worth getting chummy with anyhow. Respect people's personal space and their belongings. If you didn't ask for permission, don't assume that it's okay.

yup, this is an HR post alright.

a ton of information that amounts to absolutely nothing.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

"Did you just sniff my food?" He says yes, and I immediately go "Well you can have that one and get me another one. I don't want your nose hair and breath and boogers in my food."

I said this nicely.

Yeah...

:lol I missed that he said he said everything very nicely LMAO

 

[PandaShake]

I am shocked and appalled.

But really, I think OP overreacted, but with good reasons, Arnold stepped out of line and should have handled his apology better and Serah was in no position to tell who was right or wrong.

Doesn't matter if you're gonna leave in a few weeks. Just forget about them.

 

[The Shadow]

Assistant to Office manager/HR here. Gonna give OP and rest of GAF some perspective.

There are three parts where he could have over reacted.

OP complaining to co-worker about sniffing his food
OP asking for him to buy replacing the food he sniffed
OP placing the food co-worker sniffed on his desk

Well let's go through it.

Did OP buy his food for his coworker to sniff it in close proximity? No
Did OP ask him to sniff his food before he ate it? No
Did coworker ask for permission to touch OP's food? No
Did coworker ask for permission to sniff OP's food? No
Should OP be forced to eat food he's not comfortable eating? Of course not
Yes, the people who prepared his food may have germs, but said people and establishment has to make sure the kitchen, cookware, and cooking practices are up to code in order to serve food, his coworker is not held to the same standard, so OP shouldn't assume that his face, follicles, hair, skin are perfectly clean and harmless. OP already said he doesn't know him.
Is it customary in OP's office to touch things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to sniff things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to not ask for permission before doing any of the above two? Probably not
Serah admitted that she would not eat food that a person she doesn't know already sniffed from so at the very least she understand why OP was upset. OP isn't 100% in the wrong. If a person does something you don't approve of, which Serah and OP has acknowledged, then why would you not tell said person to stop it? If not, they will think that behavior is acceptable. But not telling them, you are reinforcing something you find unacceptable to YOUR belongings.
What kind of tolerance people have with their own stuff is on them, but people have to respect how you feel about your own stuff. Especially if they didn't pay for it and/or is not theirs to begin with. Serah is completely wrong and thank goodness she isn't in HR.

You were even kind enough to not throw it away and gave it to him. He should have either saved it to eat it at some other time or tossed it himself.
In your eyes, coworker made your food inedible. If he didn't touch/smell it, this wouldn't be the case. He didn't ask for permission so he should have made some attempt to make it right. Not even an apology or acknowledgement that you were upset about it. He should have at least come half way if he TRULY felt you were trying to get over on him.

And why would you buy food for your lunch just to make someone else pay for some more food? The point was to not be hungry from lunch until close of business, not to extract money from his pocket for the lolz. OP still paid for the initial lunch. How dense is that logic?

This is probably gonna fall on deaf ears, but OP you were right. I can't believe 100% of the people who finds strangers putting their faces in close proximity to their food is comfortable to eat it afterwards and to think it's acceptable after the fact.

If the coworker thinks you are an asshole for it, he's probably not worth getting chummy with anyhow. Respect people's personal space and their belongings. If you didn't ask for permission, don't assume that it's okay.

You've given an HR perspective, which is great if you're a robot or policy dictates you act like a robot.

Despite what Serah would have done, she felt OP was acting unprofessional which you're ignoring (typical HR). Regardless if the OP was "right", there are better ways of communicating than acting hostile toward other people.

 

[Snkfanatic]

What the coworker did is rather gross and pretty damn rude but OP did overreact a bit. I think both of you should apologize and just move on.

 

[univariate]

Assistant to Office manager/HR here. Gonna give OP and rest of GAF some perspective.

There are three parts where he could have over reacted.

OP complaining to co-worker about sniffing his food
OP asking for him to buy replacing the food he sniffed
OP placing the food co-worker sniffed on his desk

Well let's go through it.

Did OP buy his food for his coworker to sniff it in close proximity? No
Did OP ask him to sniff his food before he ate it? No
Did coworker ask for permission to touch OP's food? No
Did coworker ask for permission to sniff OP's food? No
Should OP be forced to eat food he's not comfortable eating? Of course not
Yes, the people who prepared his food may have germs, but said people and establishment has to make sure the kitchen, cookware, and cooking practices are up to code in order to serve food, his coworker is not held to the same standard, so OP shouldn't assume that his face, follicles, hair, skin are perfectly clean and harmless. OP already said he doesn't know him.
Is it customary in OP's office to touch things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to sniff things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to not ask for permission before doing any of the above two? Probably not
Serah admitted that she would not eat food that a person she doesn't know already sniffed from so at the very least she understand why OP was upset. OP isn't 100% in the wrong. If a person does something you don't approve of, which Serah and OP has acknowledged, then why would you not tell said person to stop it? If not, they will think that behavior is acceptable. But not telling them, you are reinforcing something you find unacceptable to YOUR belongings.
What kind of tolerance people have with their own stuff is on them, but people have to respect how you feel about your own stuff. Especially if they didn't pay for it and/or is not theirs to begin with. Serah is completely wrong and thank goodness she isn't in HR.

You were even kind enough to not throw it away and gave it to him. He should have either saved it to eat it at some other time or tossed it himself.
In your eyes, coworker made your food inedible. If he didn't touch/smell it, this wouldn't be the case. He didn't ask for permission so he should have made some attempt to make it right. Not even an apology or acknowledgement that you were upset about it. He should have at least come half way if he TRULY felt you were trying to get over on him.

And why would you buy food for your lunch just to make someone else pay for some more food? The point was to not be hungry from lunch until close of business, not to extract money from his pocket for the lolz. OP still paid for the initial lunch. How dense is that logic?

This is probably gonna fall on deaf ears, but OP you were right. I can't believe 100% of the people who finds strangers putting their faces in close proximity to their food is comfortable to eat it afterwards and to think it's acceptable after the fact.

If the coworker thinks you are an asshole for it, he's probably not worth getting chummy with anyhow. Respect people's personal space and their belongings. If you didn't ask for permission, don't assume that it's okay.

Did you forget to take your Thorazine today?

 

[Magwik]

Hmm, why didn't OP say about the guy touching his food at first?

You know exactly why

 

[Jonm1010]

:lol I missed that he said he said everything very nicely LMAO

I'm sure he thinks he did, but I can't see how any inflection in this context could ever be perceived as nice.

In a best case scenario maybe he is such a natural comedian he gets a chuckle in a way that is still passive aggressive but diffuses the situation and Arnold buys him another lunch or laughs to his desk. But that didn't happen clearly. Whatever delivery was given with those words led to an argument.

 

[Gravy Boat]

Assistant to Office manager/HR here. Gonna give OP and rest of GAF some perspective.

There are three parts where he could have over reacted.

OP complaining to co-worker about sniffing his food
OP asking for him to buy replacing the food he sniffed
OP placing the food co-worker sniffed on his desk

Well let's go through it.

Did OP buy his food for his coworker to sniff it in close proximity? No
Did OP ask him to sniff his food before he ate it? No
Did coworker ask for permission to touch OP's food? No
Did coworker ask for permission to sniff OP's food? No
Should OP be forced to eat food he's not comfortable eating? Of course not
Yes, the people who prepared his food may have germs, but said people and establishment has to make sure the kitchen, cookware, and cooking practices are up to code in order to serve food, his coworker is not held to the same standard, so OP shouldn't assume that his face, follicles, hair, skin are perfectly clean and harmless. OP already said he doesn't know him.
Is it customary in OP's office to touch things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to sniff things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to not ask for permission before doing any of the above two? Probably not
Serah admitted that she would not eat food that a person she doesn't know already sniffed from so at the very least she understand why OP was upset. OP isn't 100% in the wrong. If a person does something you don't approve of, which Serah and OP has acknowledged, then why would you not tell said person to stop it? If not, they will think that behavior is acceptable. But not telling them, you are reinforcing something you find unacceptable to YOUR belongings.
What kind of tolerance people have with their own stuff is on them, but people have to respect how you feel about your own stuff. Especially if they didn't pay for it and/or is not theirs to begin with. Serah is completely wrong and thank goodness she isn't in HR.

You were even kind enough to not throw it away and gave it to him. He should have either saved it to eat it at some other time or tossed it himself.
In your eyes, coworker made your food inedible. If he didn't touch/smell it, this wouldn't be the case. He didn't ask for permission so he should have made some attempt to make it right. Not even an apology or acknowledgement that you were upset about it. He should have at least come half way if he TRULY felt you were trying to get over on him.

And why would you buy food for your lunch just to make someone else pay for some more food? The point was to not be hungry from lunch until close of business, not to extract money from his pocket for the lolz. OP still paid for the initial lunch. How dense is that logic?

This is probably gonna fall on deaf ears, but OP you were right. I can't believe 100% of the people who finds strangers putting their faces in close proximity to their food is comfortable to eat it afterwards and to think it's acceptable after the fact.

If the coworker thinks you are an asshole for it, he's probably not worth getting chummy with anyhow. Respect people's personal space and their belongings. If you didn't ask for permission, don't assume that it's okay.

I also work directly with HR in our company and we all agree that you're totally off base here. Demanding someone buy you a new lunch for smelling yours is ludicrous. No one's arguing that OP doesn't have a right to tell the guy he isn't comforatble with what he did.

How do we decide who is more correct?

Hmm, why didn't OP say about the guy touching his food at first?

Because it didn't happen and he needed to change his story after people pointed out that he overreacted. I mean, if someone physically touched his food, THAT would have been the title and subject of the thread. Not that someone smelled his food. Touching a container isn't the same as touching the food.

 

[Beefy]

I also work directly with HR in our company and we all agree that you're totally off base here. Demanding someone buy you a new lunch for smelling yours is ludicrous. No one's arguing that OP doesn't have a right to tell the guy he isn't comforatble with what he did.

How do we decide who is more correct?

I told a person in my HR department and all she did was laugh..

 

[-Pyromaniac-]

Yeah no one is denying that some dude randomly sniffing your food isn't weird as fuck but that doesn't mean you have to do what the OP did. That's taking an annoying but innocent mistake that the coworker made and making it kind of malicious in making them buy new lunch.

 

[NegroNinja]

Someone should ask Ja Rule what he thinks about all of this.

 

[Jonm1010]

Well, let's see what he said:



Did OP confirm touching?

Yes, well what else did OP say?



Did OP confirm coworkers bare hands on his food? Yes

Did OP confirm unknowing and/or bad personal hygiene? Yes

Did OP confirm his preference for personal space for his food? Yes

He can be an OCD bubble boy tier of germaphobia, but still respect his personal space and the space of his belongings if permission is not granted.

I saw that he admitted to being passive aggressive by putting the food on his desk. I can understand that. But OP also confirmed coworker took it home. He could have wasted the food, but didn't. He said he would apologize. I think it would only be warranted if the coworker did the same.

You confuse confirm with assert.

This is all one side of a story that has shifted and changed since its original telling. To take it as complete fact is being credulous.

 

[RichiRamjag]

I also work directly with HR in our company and we all agree that you're totally off base here. Demanding someone buy you a new lunch for smelling yours is ludicrous. No one's arguing that OP doesn't have a right to tell the guy he isn't comforatble with what he did.

How do we decide who is more correct?



Because it didn't happen and he needed to change his story after people pointed out that he overreacted. I mean, if someone physically touched his food, THAT would have been the title and subject of the thread. Not that someone smelled his food. Touching a container isn't the same as touching the food.

Exactly. You can make it clear that you would appreciate it if he kept his sniffer away from your food in the future, but you don't start making demands and acting like a fool. OPs story also changes to suit him because the thread backfired.

Someone should ask Ja Rule what he thinks about all of this.

He's lucky he isn't working with Ja Rule, he might have eaten it rather than sniffed.

 

[Tallshortman]

Assistant. You can see why, try hard.

Yeah I'm not sure why he's throwing that out there like the assistant to an office manager is supposed to be an expert on office and social etiquette who is qualified to lecture the rest of us on how wrong we are.

I literally thought he was parodying Dwight Shrute until I saw the rest of the post.

 

[Agent Gibbs]

Well, let's see what he said:

Did OP confirm coworkers bare hands on his food? Yes

touching food CONTAINER =/= Touching the actual edible food stuffs inside

In your organisation, for a trivial, yet irksome action you are saying that it is okay to accuse another staff member of snorting bogies into your food just because they inhaled close to the food stuff? That it is okay to loudly berate them over the issue and demand they purchase you another portion of food? to effectively cause a scene? to which the member of staff feels sufficiently threatened that they report the issue to their manager - which whilst they are away from their desk you find okay to passively aggressively put the food on their desk (that they'd previously refused) as a reminder that they owe you?

that the ends justify the means eh?

That is not good human resources at all, in such a situation you are meant to discuss the matter with the colleague in a calm and collected manner, refraining from personal insults and insinuations then get a manager to mediate or escalate the situation to

Are your really a HR assistant? it seems more like you ran through a worker conflict matrix and checked off boxes.


As for employee personal hygine? this was information that OP 'provided after people said breathing in was not a problem, and when OP was being berated over picking posts that backed his up, ergo the information could be considered tainted/untruful

However, OP says he has no idea of his personal health and hygine
OP then describes he has snorted and blamed allergies, there is no frequency to this, perhaps once he snorted over hayfever, perhaps he snorts every 5 min, without a frequency this is irrelevant
Digs in his ear? odd description, if someone has an itch one person would describe it as an itch, would a germophobe describe it as digging as theta own personal prejudice is exaggerating? again no frequency

i'm a little in doubt over the wiping hands on their trousers thing, op says its sauce, is it sauce from the container lid? could it not be sauce and is it condensation on the outside of the container? both are common occurrences for takeaway and whilst still invasions of personal space, do not hold the same onus as OP's implication of touching the actual food

I'd not assign blame off of OP's one sided and changing argument

 

[Mr. Giggles]

Assistant to Office manager/HR here. Gonna give OP and rest of GAF some perspective.

There are three parts where he could have over reacted.

OP complaining to co-worker about sniffing his food
OP asking for him to buy replacing the food he sniffed
OP placing the food co-worker sniffed on his desk

Well let's go through it.

Did OP buy his food for his coworker to sniff it in close proximity? No
Did OP ask him to sniff his food before he ate it? No
Did coworker ask for permission to touch OP's food? No
Did coworker ask for permission to sniff OP's food? No
Should OP be forced to eat food he's not comfortable eating? Of course not
Yes, the people who prepared his food may have germs, but said people and establishment has to make sure the kitchen, cookware, and cooking practices are up to code in order to serve food, his coworker is not held to the same standard, so OP shouldn't assume that his face, follicles, hair, skin are perfectly clean and harmless. OP already said he doesn't know him.
Is it customary in OP's office to touch things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to sniff things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to not ask for permission before doing any of the above two? Probably not
Serah admitted that she would not eat food that a person she doesn't know already sniffed from so at the very least she understand why OP was upset. OP isn't 100% in the wrong. If a person does something you don't approve of, which Serah and OP has acknowledged, then why would you not tell said person to stop it? If not, they will think that behavior is acceptable. But not telling them, you are reinforcing something you find unacceptable to YOUR belongings.
What kind of tolerance people have with their own stuff is on them, but people have to respect how you feel about your own stuff. Especially if they didn't pay for it and/or is not theirs to begin with. Serah is completely wrong and thank goodness she isn't in HR.

You were even kind enough to not throw it away and gave it to him. He should have either saved it to eat it at some other time or tossed it himself.
In your eyes, coworker made your food inedible. If he didn't touch/smell it, this wouldn't be the case. He didn't ask for permission so he should have made some attempt to make it right. Not even an apology or acknowledgement that you were upset about it. He should have at least come half way if he TRULY felt you were trying to get over on him.

And why would you buy food for your lunch just to make someone else pay for some more food? The point was to not be hungry from lunch until close of business, not to extract money from his pocket for the lolz. OP still paid for the initial lunch. How dense is that logic?

This is probably gonna fall on deaf ears, but OP you were right. I can't believe 100% of the people who finds strangers putting their faces in close proximity to their food is comfortable to eat it afterwards and to think it's acceptable after the fact.

If the coworker thinks you are an asshole for it, he's probably not worth getting chummy with anyhow. Respect people's personal space and their belongings. If you didn't ask for permission, don't assume that it's okay.

Who is saying the food sniffer was not in the wrong? As far as I can read, people are saying OP over reacted.

Someone does something you're not comfortable with, thats fine to be vocal - but outright making a scene like OP did....Its unprofessional

Yeah I'm not sure why he's throwing that out there like the assistant to an office manager is supposed to be an expert on office and social etiquette who is qualified to lecture the rest of us on how wrong we are.

I literally thought he was parodying Dwight Shrute until I saw the rest of the post.

Seriously this

 

[RichiRamjag]

Yeah I'm not sure why he's throwing that out there like the assistant to an office manager is supposed to be an expert on office and social etiquette who is qualified to lecture the rest of us on how wrong we are.

I literally thought he was parodying Dwight Shrute until I saw the rest of the post.

Haha I thought of Dwight when I read assistant to, rather than assistant office manager.

 

[Ensoul]

He should have absolutely not picked up your food, flipped the lid and sniffed it. I would be upset as well. I would have said something to the effect of "why would you put your face so close to my food?"

I wouldn't have made a big scene or asked him to buy me a new lunch though. Then again I am a huge pussy.

 

[crimzonflame]

Assistant to Office manager/HR here. Gonna give OP and rest of GAF some perspective.

There are three parts where he could have over reacted.

OP complaining to co-worker about sniffing his food
OP asking for him to buy replacing the food he sniffed
OP placing the food co-worker sniffed on his desk

Well let's go through it.

Did OP buy his food for his coworker to sniff it in close proximity? No
Did OP ask him to sniff his food before he ate it? No
Did coworker ask for permission to touch OP's food? No
Did coworker ask for permission to sniff OP's food? No
Should OP be forced to eat food he's not comfortable eating? Of course not
Yes, the people who prepared his food may have germs, but said people and establishment has to make sure the kitchen, cookware, and cooking practices are up to code in order to serve food, his coworker is not held to the same standard, so OP shouldn't assume that his face, follicles, hair, skin are perfectly clean and harmless. OP already said he doesn't know him.
Is it customary in OP's office to touch things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to sniff things that doesn't belong to them? Probably not
Is it customary in OP's office to not ask for permission before doing any of the above two? Probably not
Serah admitted that she would not eat food that a person she doesn't know already sniffed from so at the very least she understand why OP was upset. OP isn't 100% in the wrong. If a person does something you don't approve of, which Serah and OP has acknowledged, then why would you not tell said person to stop it? If not, they will think that behavior is acceptable. But not telling them, you are reinforcing something you find unacceptable to YOUR belongings.
What kind of tolerance people have with their own stuff is on them, but people have to respect how you feel about your own stuff. Especially if they didn't pay for it and/or is not theirs to begin with. Serah is completely wrong and thank goodness she isn't in HR.

You were even kind enough to not throw it away and gave it to him. He should have either saved it to eat it at some other time or tossed it himself.
In your eyes, coworker made your food inedible. If he didn't touch/smell it, this wouldn't be the case. He didn't ask for permission so he should have made some attempt to make it right. Not even an apology or acknowledgement that you were upset about it. He should have at least come half way if he TRULY felt you were trying to get over on him.

And why would you buy food for your lunch just to make someone else pay for some more food? The point was to not be hungry from lunch until close of business, not to extract money from his pocket for the lolz. OP still paid for the initial lunch. How dense is that logic?

This is probably gonna fall on deaf ears, but OP you were right. I can't believe 100% of the people who finds strangers putting their faces in close proximity to their food is comfortable to eat it afterwards and to think it's acceptable after the fact.

If the coworker thinks you are an asshole for it, he's probably not worth getting chummy with anyhow. Respect people's personal space and their belongings. If you didn't ask for permission, don't assume that it's okay.

Wow I cringed while reading this.

 

[Netherscourge]

Not sure where he's from, but he obviously was not raised with basic everyday etiquette.

I'd be pissed off too if someone touched my food container.

 

[Tabris]

Assistant. You can see why, try hard.

Honestly, this along with the reaction to the OP should be a lesson to you all on how not to be successful in business. People who get caught up in their meaningless principles and annoyances in office dynamics instead of focusing on what's important. You should be focused on making relationships to further your career advancement, and if that person won't have an impact on your career, ensure you still keep a good impression so that the talk about you that may spread to the people who do have an impact is positive. Keep your eye on the prize people and let this petty shit go. Because that lunch you had to throw out and re-purchase due to your germaphobia and/or principles isn't worth the potential career cost a bad impression gives you.

Actually don't. More people like you, the more the rest of us can be successful as you keep fucking it up

EDIT - This is also more important when you work in IT industry. I've been more successful in my life by in part knowing how to build relationships with socially awkward developers where if I was anal like the OP, I couldn't handle.

 

[OmegaTreeFish]

You could have simply said

"Hi mate. Look i know you prob think its normal but im kinda picky about my food and it being close to other people like that. Im gonna go buy another one as i wont eat that now but you have that one its ok. But i would appreciate if you didnt handle my food again"

Done. If it happens again, break his legs knowing you tried you best to let him know last time. Or you know, report it to HR like a normal person.

Someone once took my yogurt out the work fridge once. I knew exactly who it was as only one other person kept a yogurt in there and it was the same brand but different favour. I was going to just eay theirs instead but it wasnt a flavour i liked. When i went back to the fridge later the other yogurt had gone to. They clearly opened MY food. Realised their mistake. Ate it anyway and later went back and ate theirs as well.

I lol'd and moved on with my life.

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

He overstepped his bounds a tad. You completely flipped out like a jerk.

Yes, you're being unfair, unless dude reached into your shit and palmed it or actively sneezed on it, he didn't compromise the sanctity of your meal. I wonder how some of you function in day to day life if these are things that make you freak out.

 

[elrechazado]

Germ culture is so out of control. Nothing was done to your food, op. Get over it.