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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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FyreWulff

Member
I asked out to lunch and she agreed but she is only giving me one word answers through. O wise dating gaf, what does it mean?

set up a time and location to grab lunch and save your questions so you have something to talk about at it, if she doesn't show up move on to the next person. simple as that
 
I completely understand and agree with you. The point is, how do they know the sender would act aggressively after just one simple message like "how are you?" and block right away? They can block all they want AFTER the sender turns out to be a dick. My original post was about they block for no apparent reason. Hell, simply ignore if not interested even takes less steps.


yah ppl do act more normal and civil offline. but we all know that.

So, your just salty they did not even give you a chance to get to know you? Thier loss right?
 
I'm in a bit of a dilemma.

Got a date on friday, with a girl I'm pretty sure doesn't want a serious relationship, especially as we met on Tinder and she's only in the country for three months. We had one date last friday which was really nice, and she's the one reaching out to me and asking for a second date and stuff.

But in the back of my head, I have a gnawing feeling, which is because I have a fuck buddy.

Me and my fuck buddy have been very clear that neither of us have any desire to be in a relationship with the other. For now we just meet twice a week and have sex, as well text a lot since we share almost all of our interests.

I'm completely fine with her being with other dudes, as long as she don't talk about it in a way that can come off as bragging. Me knowing, and me being told are completely different things.

She had a guy who was essentially her boyfriend, but they were never exclusive as he lives in a different country, and she could only see him like every six months. She went and visited him a while back, and I assume they had lots of sex. Then she came back and the within a day called me for some booty. Never said a thing about sex with him though. Just the implication, knowing that she spent a week with him.

But she has a couple of times texted me stuff about other dudes at parties, but then ending the conversation jokingly with "but I'll be good though", as if she has any obligation to only be with me.

So now I'm thinking, can I go on a date with a girl I don't want a relationship with, in good conscience, or have I essentially become "exclusive" with my fuck buddy, despite neither of us being in a relationship with the other?

Both me and my fuck buddy are very open, but I have no idea if I should even bring up the subject or not. Essentially, is she in the same boat as me? If not, me asking her will ruin basically everything.

I really don't want to be in situation where I'm being with two girls, and neither of them being okay with me being with someone else, no matter if we're in a relationship or not.

Duuuude, you are way overthinking this. If she is not okay with you being with other girls, she is the one who should tell you that. You have no obligation to read minds, especially when you both agreed before that it was ok for you to see other people.
 

jimmypython

Member
So, your just salty they did not even give you a chance to get to know you? Thier loss right?

no im not salty. i am by no means an expert or anything like that, but my response rate hasn't been too terrible either.
I have been ghosted by ppl and also ghosted others, which I can understand.

It's more of me being curious about something I couldn't comprehend. that's all.


So... I've been seeing someone for 6 weeks now and they've just disappeared... I've been ghosted plenty of times before, but never at this point. We've had 8 dates so far and had already agreed to be exclusive... Last week he had been stressed with working a double shift everyday and was super scarce... Friday morning he sent a long message to apologize about being distant and said that he would do a lot better... I said it was fine. Saturday we exchanged a few texts... I asked if he wanted to talk on the phone for a few minutes and haven't heard anything since... The timing of the apology and ghosting was super weird... I've been trying to rationalize it all week if he's been fucking with me, but the actual dating experience with him was really pleasant overall. I thought maybe me asking him to talk when he was tired was insensitive, but regardless I'm just super hurt. I know it hasn't been much time, but I'm wondering if a follow up text would only do more damage at this point? I guess i'm weirdly still hopeful it's not done, but I also can't think of a valid excuse for the time that's lapsed either. :S

I wouldn't text, speaking from my own experience.....
 

Kyne

Member
So... I've been seeing someone for 6 weeks now and they've just disappeared... I've been ghosted plenty of times before, but never at this point. We've had 8 dates so far and had already agreed to be exclusive... Last week he had been stressed with working a double shift everyday and was super scarce... Friday morning he sent a long message to apologize about being distant and said that he would do a lot better... I said it was fine. Saturday we exchanged a few texts... I asked if he wanted to talk on the phone for a few minutes and haven't heard anything since... The timing of the apology and ghosting was super weird... I've been trying to rationalize it all week if he's been fucking with me, but the actual dating experience with him was really pleasant overall. I thought maybe me asking him to talk when he was tired was insensitive, but regardless I'm just super hurt. I know it hasn't been much time, but I'm wondering if a follow up text would only do more damage at this point? I guess i'm weirdly still hopeful it's not done, but I also can't think of a valid excuse for the time that's lapsed either. :S

Erm.. do you have a way to check up on this person?

From the way you wrote that it honestly sounds like they've been hospitalized or something.
 
J

Jpop

Unconfirmed Member
So just met a girl over the weekend.

Saturday
------------

I'm chilling at the outdoor patio, she comes and borrows my lighter. We smoke, we talk, we drink. She doesn't let me pay for anything.

We talk more, we kiss. We make-out, we probably can't show our faces at that bar for a while after some other things.

Sunday
-----------

She contemplates ghosting me due to some things we did, but decided not to. We go and bet on Ponie Races with her co-workers. We drink, smoke hookah, and dance.

-------

She's straightforward and intelligent. Speaks 3 languages, and gorgeous. She doesn't let me pay for anything. She looked grabbed me and said, " I am going to fuck you, you are pretty"

We have a date set up this weekend.

-------

I feel that I'm fucking it up over text. I suck at text.
 
I'm going to fuck you, you're pretty,..

Let me just text her and ruin me getting my freak on...Stop my dude.

Put the goddamn phone down and do something else. Clean yourself up, trim some shit...make sure you're looking pretty.
 

gaiages

Banned
I can't believe this

Lady LITEREALLY SAYS she wants to fuck you, not even an innuendo, and you think you're messing this up

Like holy shit I can't
 

Solo

Member
How can you screw this up? Like, literally do not text her between now and when you meet up, unless its to confirm a time/place. Doesn't seem like you can be trusted otherwise.
 
I feel like 98% of this thread would be resolved if people followed these three basic fucking rules:

1. Just ask her out already.

2. Step away from the goddamned phone.

3. Don't put your dick in crazy.
 
I had been seeing 2 girls.

Trying to see who was the better fit.

I had like 95% decided on person S. I was maybe up for another date with the person B. She was incredibly attractive and we meshed well as friends. She was busy this week so it didn't happen.

I had a really great date last night with S last night and we had amazing sex. I was going to tell my friend about it, since she hears all of my dating stories and i wrote up a small run down of the night and accidentally sent it to person B.

The text at best burns this thing to the ground. At worst i should be buried in a ditch. I feel terrible, but mildly impressed at how bad of a fuck up it was.

On the plus side. I have a new girlfriend. She is great. I have high hopes.
 
I had been seeing 2 girls.

Trying to see who was the better fit.

I had like 95% decided on person S. I was maybe up for another date with the person B. She was incredibly attractive and we meshed well as friends. She was busy this week so it didn't happen.

I had a really great date last night with S last night and we had amazing sex. I was going to tell my friend about it, since she hears all of my dating stories and i wrote up a small run down of the night and accidentally sent it to person B.

The text at best burns this thing to the ground. At worst i should be buried in a ditch. I feel terrible, but mildly impressed at how bad of a fuck up it was.

On the plus side. I have a new girlfriend. She is great. I have high hopes.

5. Check who you're sending sex stories to. (Grats, though.)
 

vern

Member
I had been seeing 2 girls.

Trying to see who was the better fit.

I had like 95% decided on person S. I was maybe up for another date with the person B. She was incredibly attractive and we meshed well as friends. She was busy this week so it didn't happen.

I had a really great date last night with S last night and we had amazing sex. I was going to tell my friend about it, since she hears all of my dating stories and i wrote up a small run down of the night and accidentally sent it to person B.

The text at best burns this thing to the ground. At worst i should be buried in a ditch. I feel terrible, but mildly impressed at how bad of a fuck up it was.

On the plus side. I have a new girlfriend. She is great. I have high hopes.

This is why WeChat is the essential chat app. The ability to recall messages within a minute has been a godsend on more than one occasion.


What is everyone's opinion on getting involved with a friends ex?


She is his ex for a reason. If they wanted to be together they would be, but they aren't... so the two of you can do your thing. If your friend is a dick about it then that's his own problem.
 

Dragonite

Banned
Update on my friend with the girlfriend who went to the brothel, it turns out the relationship was basically over and they broke up now. And his girlfriend already found another boyfriend and seems to have forgotten about him already, they've been together for 4 years, and my friend has been very depressed. I guess it's true that men fall in love more easily and find it harder to move on.
 
Update on my friend with the girlfriend who went to the brothel, it turns out the relationship was basically over and they broke up now. And his girlfriend already found another boyfriend and seems to have forgotten about him already, they've been together for 4 years, and my friend has been very depressed. I guess it's true that men fall in love more easily and find it harder to move on.

And to Gaiges who asked "why I was so defensive?". This is why. Don't out people for non standard sexual activity that you are partaking in yourself. Hypocracy 101.
 

Kyne

Member
okay GAF.

after a 4 month break from ending a 3 year relationship I am ready to date again.

latest


I don't date coworkers nor do I get out much.. so I'll probably dip my toes into online dating.

wish me luck.
 
So just met a girl over the weekend.

Saturday
------------

I'm chilling at the outdoor patio, she comes and borrows my lighter. We smoke, we talk, we drink. She doesn't let me pay for anything.

We talk more, we kiss. We make-out, we probably can't show our faces at that bar for a while after some other things.

Sunday
-----------

She contemplates ghosting me due to some things we did
, but decided not to. We go and bet on Ponie Races with her co-workers. We drink, smoke hookah, and dance.

-------

She's straightforward and intelligent. Speaks 3 languages, and gorgeous. She doesn't let me pay for anything. She looked grabbed me and said, " I am going to fuck you, you are pretty"

We have a date set up this weekend.

-------

I feel that I'm fucking it up over text. I suck at text.


Questions:
You were out in a pub/smoking area/terrace etc and met her randomly?

More context for the ghosting quote?

Also, if you havent already, this sounds like a sure thing. God speed.
 

animax

Member
So... I've been seeing someone for 6 weeks now and they've just disappeared...

This isn't too out of the ordinary to be honest, that person just didn't handle it well. It was nothing to do with you asking him to talk or his work/stress level, if you like someone enough none of this would matter. You shouldn't text - again, if he was interested enough he would contact you. Unfortunately you may have to take the loss, move on and try again

How can you screw this up? Like, literally do not text her between now and when you meet up, unless its to confirm a time/place. Doesn't seem like you can be trusted otherwise.

Complete radio silence might be a bit weird too though

We're good friends, not super close or anything, see each other every now and then.
It's been about 4-5 months since they ended things.

Talk to your friend first, tell him/her how you feel. Don't go behind your friends back.

okay GAF.

after a 4 month break from ending a 3 year relationship I am ready to date again.

I don't date coworkers nor do I get out much.. so I'll probably dip my toes into online dating.

wish me luck.

Good luck! But be mentally prepared for rejection/ghosting/non-responses/being stood up etc as it goes with the territory of online dating now.
 

gaiages

Banned
What is everyone's opinion on getting involved with a friends ex?

Why not? If your friend has a meltdown over it, he needs to check himself.

Close friend? Not cool.

Why? She's not his property.

And to Gaiges who asked "why I was so defensive?". This is why. Don't out people for non standard sexual activity that you are partaking in yourself. Hypocracy 101.

???

In the context of the original scenario, it seemed at though he was cheating on his girlfriend? It's not "non standard sexual activity", that's something else entirely. We can only give advice on the information we have, after all.

But everything turned out alright, so that's good for everyone involved.
 
Why? She's not his property.

Who the hell talked about property....

If it's a very closed friend it's not something I want to meddle. Like a ex-sister in law. Out of respect of the friendship, I would rather find other fish in the sea instead of possibly fuck up a great relationship.

If it's a friend or acquaintance, it's a bit irrelevant.
 
okay GAF.

after a 4 month break from ending a 3 year relationship I am ready to date again.

latest


I don't date coworkers nor do I get out much.. so I'll probably dip my toes into online dating.

wish me luck.

Good luck.
Anime avatar and anime gif in the post? Try not to mention it prominently in your dating profiles, buddy.
 

Kyne

Member
Good luck.
Anime avatar and anime gif in the post? Try not to mention it prominently in your dating profiles, buddy.

the anime conversation doesn't happen until both our toothbrushes are in the same bathroom at once.

honestly I'm sort of a closet nerd. Even walking into my apartment you'd never know I was into some of the more nerdier things that I'm into.

literally a closet nerd though.. if you walk into my closet first thing you'll see are Zoro's replica swords and a bunch of manga.
 

Salamando

Member
Most of my nerdiness is out in the open. I'm not as big of a nerd as I once was and I've learned how to tastefully integrate said nerdiness into my decor. If a girl dumps me because of what's in my apartment, it wouldn't have worked out anyway.

the anime conversation doesn't happen until both our toothbrushes are in the same bathroom at once.

honestly I'm sort of a closet nerd. Even walking into my apartment you'd never know I was into some of the more nerdier things that I'm into.

literally a closet nerd though.. if you walk into my closet first thing you'll see are Zoro's replica swords and a bunch of manga.
 

Kyne

Member
Most of my nerdiness is out in the open. I'm not as big of a nerd as I once was and I've learned how to tastefully integrate said nerdiness into my decor. If a girl dumps me because of what's in my apartment, it wouldn't have worked out anyway.

lol.

I don't display some of the nerdy stuff by choice. I don't like the way it clashes with the modernization of my apartment.

I don't want to derail the thread, but for some insight this is from the gaming setup thread.
 
Duuuude, you are way overthinking this. If she is not okay with you being with other girls, she is the one who should tell you that. You have no obligation to read minds, especially when you both agreed before that it was ok for you to see other people.

We never agreed upon being allowed to sleep with other people though. We agreed to being fuck buddies, and I'm not 100% certain I know what limits there are to this.
 

Salamando

Member
I don't display some of the nerdy stuff by choice. I don't like the way it clashes with the modernization of my apartment.

I don't want to derail the thread, but for some insight this is from the gaming setup thread.

I'd rather discuss "How to decorate your apartment without repulsing the opposite sex" than debate ghosting for the billionth time.

Consider subscribing to Fancy-Poster Gaf. With enough patience, you should be able to find something both nerdy and clean. I could see something by Craig Drake or Olly Moss working with your style.
 

Kyne

Member
I'd rather discuss "How to decorate your apartment without repulsing the opposite sex" than debate ghosting for the billionth time.

Consider subscribing to Fancy-Poster Gaf. With enough patience, you should be able to find something both nerdy and clean. I could see something by Craig Drake or Olly Moss working with your style.

oh, I have posters ready and framed. I'm waiting on some lighting fixtures now.

If someone was a big enough fan they'd notice my pillows have coverings with the symbols from Mirror's Edge.

 

Salamando

Member
oh, I have posters ready and framed. I'm waiting on some lighting fixtures now.

If someone was a big enough fan they'd notice my pillows have coverings with the symbols from Mirror's Edge.

Your setup pics are 5 months old, and they're still not up? Just hang them up already.

Unless you already have
 

Kyne

Member
Your setup pics are 5 months old, and they're still not up? Just hang them up already.

Unless you already have

I haven't, and there is a large explanation for it regarding Amazon/light bulbs/wireless remotes but I really don't want to get into it.

If it satisfies your inquisitiveness this is one of them, signed by the artist herself:
ONE.PIECE.full.1883893.jpg
 

Salamando

Member
I do, but i also really like this girl, we've dated before. Although people say we bring out the worst in each other so I dunno. Head's a bit screwed right now.

I like how you didn't feel it pertinent to mention she's your ex as well. Exes are exes for a reason...what makes you think everything will work this time?
 
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