Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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JeTmAn81
Member
Wait, I thought you just had your first kiss, is she your girlfriend already? Don't want to move too quickly in your head before it matches reality
Wait, I thought you just had your first kiss, is she your girlfriend already? Don't want to move too quickly in your head before it matches reality
Yeah, this shit is important. She's not your girlfriend until you've at least discussed the matter.
basically stole my response.
Houston3000
Member
Crush, I'm happy for you man and I really hope it all works out, from your story it sounds like a nice first date...
From all accounts though it seems you COULD have a girlfriend if you play your cards right.
but this. Take it a little slower in your head man, it's awesome to be on cloud nine but don't lose sight of ground. You've only known each other for a few hours, get to know her a bit more before you let yourself fall in love and become delusional.Wait, I thought you just had your first kiss, is she your girlfriend already? Don't want to move too quickly in your head before it matches reality
From all accounts though it seems you COULD have a girlfriend if you play your cards right.
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
Let the man speak. Hopefully, there be details we haven't heard yet.
CrushDance
Banned
Wait, I thought you just had your first kiss, is she your girlfriend already? Don't want to move too quickly in your head before it matches reality
Haha, yeah; that's true I suppose! I'm not really sure at what point it'd be official. Knowing the way we talk though, one of us will probably just ask if we're a couple at one point, lmao. She sent me a text this morning and said: "I'm still really surprised that I was your first kiss!" To which I replied by telling her that she truly was and told her to warn me next time so I could atleast try. She said "lol. You're so cute. I wanted you to do it. You don't have to ask next time!"
So yeah,
We've made plans to go out again soon and I'm pretty sure that now that we've broken the physical barrier; next time will be quite fun o_oNo that's pretty much everything that happened last night. I said girlfriend because we're both each others first in a lot of ways. She's gone on a couple dates in the past before, but never really felt that she was able to be herself apparently. But she specifically told me that she really enjoyed our time together and she actually set up the next date this morning. So things are going very well thus far. Obviously there's still the cynic in my head keeping me grounded and not investing emotionally into this yet. But we really had a great time. And like I said, the way she kissed me the second time was...almost like giving a gift or going away present if you know what I mean?
We're both at the age now where we haven't dated before or gotten intimate with someone, so it's a "hot" thing for us.
Girls are so soft
Slayer-33
Liverpool-2
Haha, yeah; that's true I suppose! I'm not really sure at what point it'd be official. Knowing the way we talk though, one of us will probably just ask if we're a couple at one point, lmao. She sent me a text this morning and said: "I'm still really surprised that I was your first kiss!" To which I replied by telling her that she truly was and told her to warn me next time so I could atleast try. She said "lol. You're so cute. I wanted you to do it. You don't have to ask next time!"
So yeah,
lol everything is working out for you, I'm glad.
Next time you see her, say "Hi!" walk up to her and place your left hand on her chin and give her a kiss, don't have your mouth open like :O, only really slightly and go for it lol. Then grab her hand and go.
lol yep
CrushDance
Banned
I'm actually going to shake her hand next time, lol! Turn the tables >
I will never let her live that down.
Slayer-33
Liverpool-2
I'm actually going to shake her hand next time, lol! Turn the tables >
Give her a hug instead lol
You can try and kiss her there too.
Vermillion
Banned
Congrats, Crush! The whole story is freaking adorable
Hope everything works out well for you!
Hope everything works out well for you!
Bucket-o-roadkill
Member
Uuurrrggghh. That's my opinion on my progress on dating sites. That is all.
Got talking to a hot local girl, I've definitely seen her out on nights out (she actually recognised me on the site, so we got chatting), got a text from her saying we should meet next week which I was more than happy about.
So I get a message today saying shes going to a show with some work mates to see a comedian, I'm in town too with some mates. As I'm walking who should I see but the girl from the net walking hand in hand with some dude towards the show venue. Awesome... lol I get chatting to all the best dating site gals.
Don't get me wrong, she can date other guys I'm not moaning about that, but to come up with some lies to me.. Hmm. Its put me off. I'd rather she was just vague, sure tell me your off to some show or something, but to straight up lie and say you're going with work mates when really a guy is taking you out.. Hmmm I don't know.
Got talking to a hot local girl, I've definitely seen her out on nights out (she actually recognised me on the site, so we got chatting), got a text from her saying we should meet next week which I was more than happy about.
So I get a message today saying shes going to a show with some work mates to see a comedian, I'm in town too with some mates. As I'm walking who should I see but the girl from the net walking hand in hand with some dude towards the show venue. Awesome... lol I get chatting to all the best dating site gals.
Don't get me wrong, she can date other guys I'm not moaning about that, but to come up with some lies to me.. Hmm. Its put me off. I'd rather she was just vague, sure tell me your off to some show or something, but to straight up lie and say you're going with work mates when really a guy is taking you out.. Hmmm I don't know.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Look at it this way: you know her true colors. That dude holding her hand likely does not.
Bucket-o-roadkill
Member
True story. Every cloud has a silver lining
Bucket-o-roadkill
Member
Not heard from her all night bro. That guy isn't me lol
Then become that guy. Anyone can. It is NOT something hard, we only make it out to be.
I write this not to derail the thread of it's recent victory, which I think is great and heartwarming.
Warning: Long post... and I apologize if the post is just thoughts fragmented.
Being a long time lurker, I think I may just be looking for a resolution.I've been thinking about it for a while and probably just have been able to make sense of it.
I don't care...
About finding an intimate partner. I have read what the posters here have done to help those like Combine and I don't wish for this to be in that vain, I think the helpful efforts are admirable. A lot of advice I've gone through, improve yourself, make yourself happy, etc. I've gone through school and in hot pursuit of a satisfying and creative career I've sought after since Jr.High. I've lost weight, 115lbs and counting, I live on my own in an apartment, own a decent car, cook, clean, organized, employed. Been told I clean up well, even notice girls catching glimpses.
I feel I'm fairly well off. Generally, I am somewhat happy where I'm heading, I'm introverted (surprise surprise), but not cripplingly so (maybe). I am known in my small circle of friends as the quiet guy. Have hobbies and interests that I heavily enjoy and can easily fill my days.
The real problem is that I'm too comfortable, I think? However that would contradict my motivation to always improve myself. Perhaps I'm just tired and scared. I'm 28 and have never been in a relationship, or been intimate with a girl. I'll admit, working towards all this stuff the... societal pressures of finding a partner was there. Recently, it isn't. I realize an ebb and flow is natural, this low seems more concrete though. It's more of an acceptance of circumstance.
Through real life encounters and online dating sites I find the "chase" to be tiresome and grow bored easily. I think I've become boring myself to those around me, all work and no play thing. Projected, I really have no interest in what would be a... meaningful conversation. The spoken word is something I have always struggled with. I find it increasingly difficult to have a "click" with people, not just women. All conversations feel forced. With women it's all one sided.
Maybe I just don't want to change? I'm scared of what kind of changes a girl may cause. People keep saying a woman should enhance your life but, I have the feeling of me being with a girl to be quite burdensome because of this monumental effort put forth for no reward. No, I do not have homosexual feelings. But every back and forth (if you can call it that) with a girl seems incredibly one sided to the point of dread.
Tiresome, the pursuit of women just doesn't seem worth it. Maybe it's cause I've never really "clicked" with anyone... or have experienced a relationship. But... it all seems to be too late, fleeting and evermore irrelevant. What is this chemistry people seem to be able to find but escape me?
I just really have no idea what to think regarding this, as you can probably tell by the scattered thoughts. Is there anything I could do to remedy this? Maybe just writing this and putting it out there will help me. Thanks.
Jeez, been trying to organize and make sense of this post for an hour...
Warning: Long post... and I apologize if the post is just thoughts fragmented.
Being a long time lurker, I think I may just be looking for a resolution.I've been thinking about it for a while and probably just have been able to make sense of it.
I don't care...
About finding an intimate partner. I have read what the posters here have done to help those like Combine and I don't wish for this to be in that vain, I think the helpful efforts are admirable. A lot of advice I've gone through, improve yourself, make yourself happy, etc. I've gone through school and in hot pursuit of a satisfying and creative career I've sought after since Jr.High. I've lost weight, 115lbs and counting, I live on my own in an apartment, own a decent car, cook, clean, organized, employed. Been told I clean up well, even notice girls catching glimpses.
I feel I'm fairly well off. Generally, I am somewhat happy where I'm heading, I'm introverted (surprise surprise), but not cripplingly so (maybe). I am known in my small circle of friends as the quiet guy. Have hobbies and interests that I heavily enjoy and can easily fill my days.
The real problem is that I'm too comfortable, I think? However that would contradict my motivation to always improve myself. Perhaps I'm just tired and scared. I'm 28 and have never been in a relationship, or been intimate with a girl. I'll admit, working towards all this stuff the... societal pressures of finding a partner was there. Recently, it isn't. I realize an ebb and flow is natural, this low seems more concrete though. It's more of an acceptance of circumstance.
Through real life encounters and online dating sites I find the "chase" to be tiresome and grow bored easily. I think I've become boring myself to those around me, all work and no play thing. Projected, I really have no interest in what would be a... meaningful conversation. The spoken word is something I have always struggled with. I find it increasingly difficult to have a "click" with people, not just women. All conversations feel forced. With women it's all one sided.
Maybe I just don't want to change? I'm scared of what kind of changes a girl may cause. People keep saying a woman should enhance your life but, I have the feeling of me being with a girl to be quite burdensome because of this monumental effort put forth for no reward. No, I do not have homosexual feelings. But every back and forth (if you can call it that) with a girl seems incredibly one sided to the point of dread.
Tiresome, the pursuit of women just doesn't seem worth it. Maybe it's cause I've never really "clicked" with anyone... or have experienced a relationship. But... it all seems to be too late, fleeting and evermore irrelevant. What is this chemistry people seem to be able to find but escape me?
I just really have no idea what to think regarding this, as you can probably tell by the scattered thoughts. Is there anything I could do to remedy this? Maybe just writing this and putting it out there will help me. Thanks.
Jeez, been trying to organize and make sense of this post for an hour...
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
If she lied about tonight, nothing is saying she won't lying like that in the future to you.
Etrian Oddity
Member
Hard to do when that's like 70% of girls out there.
Do you always have the problems with conversation? As an introvert I'm always the quiet guy in groups, but when I'm in a one on one situation that's far less of a problem. Do you have trouble talking with friends as well?
As someone that had serious social issues in the past, it seemed that at a certain point I kinda grew over it. Big part of it was just throwing myself in situations where I meet new people, so you pretty much have to. Second part is self acceptance. Reading your post, you seem to know your good points which means that you're at the very least on the right path. Once I got comfortable with myself talking also got a lot easier for me.
Anyway, don't think you're too late. Personally didn't even get my first kiss till I was 27 and now on my 29th it seems like I might actually be moving towards my first serious relationship (which is both exciting and somewhat scary to me).
Castor Krieg
Banned
You get sex. Trust me, hookers do not compare, one-night-stands rarely compare. You get on it, you experience it, you know what I mean. One of the best experiences you can have in life, this is the reason everyone is watching porn, and everyone is showing body nowadays. And the best way to experience it is with a person you love.
Make that 95%. As it should be. Maybe it is caveman talking in me here, but c'mon - be a man.
Do you want a girl in your life or no, is what you have to ask yourself. If you don't want the burden of a 'relationship' you can still be dating around, sleeping with girls, whatever. If you put in the effort you WILL get enjoyment out of it at some point.
Societal pressure shouldn't bother you. Who gives a fuck about that. Do what makes you happy.
It sounds though like there are some fears holding you back, when you talk about dread of talking to a girl. I can't pinpoint that for you, but when you're afraid of something and you know it, that's usually a good sign of something you should try to conquer.
I've had a good time interacting with a lot of different girls, so I'm not sure what to say if you claim you've not have such a good interaction. There's lots of different kind of girls out there and there are even girls for closed guys that don't like to talk much.
You remind me of one of my friends who I know has a lot of stuff, emotional & behavioral, to get over. He's actually been in a lot of short relationships, but he's similar in his feigned apathy.
It's not too late to start, I started at 30, was more behind the curve, and I've now messed around with a lot of different girls, had plenty (basically enough for me) of sex, and stuff is still moving on. I've never had a 'full' click, or what I expect to be the ultimate level of click, but I've definitely felt bigger and smaller bits of 'chemistry' which is usually 'I want to do something with this girl and she does too'.
So, I think overall your issue is you're denying to yourself how much you want this. Just know that while it's a little scary, it's fun once you get a handle on things.
Kung Fu Grip
Banned
I know i posted in here before about how i think the OP itself is over analysing everything. It should be as easy as saying hi. But thats not how the game works. Whatever.
I've been feeling like shit lately cause i still have no girlfriend yet. Or even been with a girl. I always read this thread and felt bad, but for some reason reading a few pages last night depressed me. The success stories had thoughts running through my head about "why hasn't this happened to me yet?" Why does he make it seem so easy?" "fuck everything don't even bother trying." "just kill yourself"
I think maby the reason why it hurts more is tomorrow is my birthday and i'll be 28. It really feels like time is running out. The older you get the harder it is to get a girl. Girls in their mid to late 20's are looking for someone to settle with. Has a career and their own place. I have neither.
So basically what do i do? Im not part of any online dating sites. Would that be a place to start? Never thought about joining one. And about clothes; i don't have any. Literally. I wear the same blue shirt and pants everyday to work. I stopped buying them because i never go anywhere. I guess wardrobe is an important part to picking up girls yes? Should i take care of that first? I don't have a cell phone either. I didn't see a need for one. I never call anyone and no one ever calls me anyway. Waste of money imo. Never kept my hair cut too cause........theres no one to keep it cut for!
I don't know how to go about this.Some girls glance at me but i don't know what their looking at. Some do a quick eyeball glance. Are they thinking "ew"? What? I don't think im handsome but im also not a monster (i have been called ugly before in middle school. girls, how do they work?).
Another problem i have is im very quite and shy. It's weird because i can talk to a girl if im not trying to get with her. Just regular talk. The catch is the girl has to approach me. Even then i get a little nervous and don't carry the conversation on for long. This happens at work. One girl doesn't even talk to me anymore because she knows i hardly talk back. I have nothing to really say. No interesting topics to talk about. And this is with a girl i don't even like. How am i suppose to carry a conversation with a girl im trying to get with?
Anyway this post has gone on too long. I Just want to know where to start to change my situation. I don't want to end up like George Sodini or Christine Chubbuck.
I've been feeling like shit lately cause i still have no girlfriend yet. Or even been with a girl. I always read this thread and felt bad, but for some reason reading a few pages last night depressed me. The success stories had thoughts running through my head about "why hasn't this happened to me yet?" Why does he make it seem so easy?" "fuck everything don't even bother trying." "just kill yourself"
I think maby the reason why it hurts more is tomorrow is my birthday and i'll be 28. It really feels like time is running out. The older you get the harder it is to get a girl. Girls in their mid to late 20's are looking for someone to settle with. Has a career and their own place. I have neither.
So basically what do i do? Im not part of any online dating sites. Would that be a place to start? Never thought about joining one. And about clothes; i don't have any. Literally. I wear the same blue shirt and pants everyday to work. I stopped buying them because i never go anywhere. I guess wardrobe is an important part to picking up girls yes? Should i take care of that first? I don't have a cell phone either. I didn't see a need for one. I never call anyone and no one ever calls me anyway. Waste of money imo. Never kept my hair cut too cause........theres no one to keep it cut for!
I don't know how to go about this.Some girls glance at me but i don't know what their looking at. Some do a quick eyeball glance. Are they thinking "ew"? What? I don't think im handsome but im also not a monster (i have been called ugly before in middle school. girls, how do they work?).
Another problem i have is im very quite and shy. It's weird because i can talk to a girl if im not trying to get with her. Just regular talk. The catch is the girl has to approach me. Even then i get a little nervous and don't carry the conversation on for long. This happens at work. One girl doesn't even talk to me anymore because she knows i hardly talk back. I have nothing to really say. No interesting topics to talk about. And this is with a girl i don't even like. How am i suppose to carry a conversation with a girl im trying to get with?
Anyway this post has gone on too long. I Just want to know where to start to change my situation. I don't want to end up like George Sodini or Christine Chubbuck.
Since you're talking about suicide, you need professional help to begin with. GAF is not the right place for that stuff. I suggest you read your own post again and look at all that negativity that serve you no good and change it into the opposite, something positive. For starters, how about not saying you have no one to cut your hair for, when you have yourself? Do you have any self respect? You have a very long road ahead of you if you want to fix yourself and become truly happy with life, and at least you are aware of your problems and are voicing them. So it's more than possible to fix this. But you need to take the first steps.
The Hermit
Member
She went from "Maybe" to my last text pushing over apparently with my humour, lol. I said "I'll pick you up at X" and she said "No. I'll just take a taxi since I barely know you." I just laughed it off and told her it was fine and that I could understand. Through the enitre thing I always made sure to do things the way she wanted and never said "Can I? Should we?" or anything like that. But rather "I will", "How about" etc. Always giving her room to say no, but never pressuring her or coming off as controlling.
We spent 8 and a half hours together! 8. freaking 5! I told her we could watch a movie if she felt more comfortable that way and she agreed. So I met up with her there and tried to hug her. She bailed out and shook my hand. I was like: What the DUCK?! But continued joking and making her laugh. We went to the theatre and she grabbed her purse to buy tickets. I pulled the tickets from behind her as I'd had my arm around her shoulder and flashed them infront of her. She was flabbergasted and covered her mouth going: "You didn't!" I thought I'd fucked up or something but she just blushed brightly and thanked me. We went to the concession and she offered to pay since I'd gotten the tickets, I jokingly told her that I was her chaperone to make sure nothing bad happened since she was so afraid and payed. It was so stupid but we both kept laughing all the way in. Throughout the movie she offered me popcorn, etc and we shared our stuff.
Finally at the end I gushed about Batman and she quipped whether I was in love with him and if she should bother going on with me. I told her I was the damn dark knight in colour. A joke that I imemdiately regretted and felt stupid saying, but she found funny after asking me whether she could laugh or not. So then we went and sat down for a while and got some coffee, talked for about two hours and as it was getting late. I suggessted and didn't ask, that I drive her home. She said "I'd love that!" comapred to her earlier worries about me picking her up. We went in and she said she was a little hungry, I was too and so we grabbed some food. She offered to pay yet again and this time I let her since I believe in being equal and also because I wanted to let her personality come through. We went back in the car and I asked her if she wanted to eat in there or somewhere else. She thought I was tlaking about taking her home and I just said "No! I'm just like you, you might not believe it; but I am. I'm in no rush. I just want to get to know you." She turned beet red and said "Nobodies ever said something like that to me before". I hugged her and held her for a moment before saying "Well somethings rushing now though" and she pushed me away giggling.
We ended up in a random park and ate in the middle of the night. It was so surreal. She commented on how beautiful it was at night and I agreed. We just stared at each other and smiled before finishing up. I asked her where she lived and she said not far. She then said: "Why don't you walk me home? I'd like that." I wanted to ask her soooo bad, but was too afraid. I blurted out a quick "Sure!" and we walked in the night. At this point eveyrthing was firing to hold her hand but I was all "OH shit Crush! Don't be too pushy man!" and didn't. As we walked I asked her if she's ever been on a date and she said yes. She asked me if I had and I said no. Then out of nowhere she just stopped and said "Why?! You're such a handsome and nice guy. I thought you...OMG! did you mean...in the car earlier?!" To which I just shrugged thinking that I'd blown it. She just broke into laughter and said that I'd meant that I was like her in my shyness and not...you know...being a virgin and all. Good lord was that weight taken off my shoulders!
We got to her house and her mother and sister were still awake. She asked if I wanted to meet them and I declined since I was so damn nerbous still and her mother looked like a BOSS from the kitchen window. At this point I said goodnight and it began to rain lightly. Damn I did everything to fight this lame ass boner of mine and turned to walk away. She grabbed my arm and gave me the most ludcrious smile EVER before saying: "I have been on dates before. But no guy has ever made me feel so comfortable" and kissed me. It was so sudden that I didn't even think it had just happened. I muttered "I..I've never done that before either" and she pulled me in real freaking tight and kissed me again. I went stupid. Like for a moment no thought actually occurred in my brain. She said "Are you okay?" and I realised that it was starting to rain hard. We laughed about it and quickly said goodnight before she ran inside.
I don't know what the fuck just happened today. How we went from "Maybe" to om nom nom. Holy shit. I'm not even happy right now. I'm just in a state of shock. How she was nervous to jokingly calling me her "Dark knight" in 8 hours is wow worthy. The time just seemed as if someone clicked their fingers.
this reminds me the first time I kissed someone when I was 20. Surreal is the right word for it.
We´ve dated for 2 years and she was my first everything, and I mean everything.
You gotta get yourself to the point where the thoughts you wrote above, are the complete opposite. And when the positive thoughts become automatic, and more importantly embedded in your subconscious, success becomes effortless. It chases after you, instead of you feeling the lack you have now.
A constant thought becomes a belief after awhile, and what you believe comes to fruition.
When you think bad thoughts about yourself, it comes out in your vibe (energy) and people can feel it, and of course people will feel pity or just not want to be around you at all
There's many ways you can change your subconscious thoughts, the easiest being to just listen to some sound therapies on youtube and to be committed to it.
Again, you can read what I wrote for one. I started at 30, and I'm very happy with my success so far. Like, so much now that even if I never go a step beyond now I will have some bit of satisfaction in me forever.
It's both easy and not. Because once you commit yourself you'll be on the road to getting some success for yourself. But you have to stick with it.
I used to have the same feelings of anger and such regarding dating. I'd avoid thinking about it as much as I could. So I know what that's like. Just know that you absolutely can succeed, but you have to take it seriously. Or at least that's what worked for me.
It's actually a bit easier for guys than girls to start later. A 31 year old guy (like me) can spend time with a 21 year old girl, and it can feel completely natural, but even like the one 33 year old girl I dated shouldn't have too many problems. It's when you're in your 40s and haven't even started yet that you can have issues. But if you're started then no age is too late. (just my take on it) Well, you hear the stories of the suave & sharp 40 year old dating young 20 year old girls or younger. So, don't worry about that one bit.
Don't worry about a career or your own place. Don't worry about any of the shit you can't control. It's just better to proceed onwards. Don't forget about that stuff, but don't let it hold you back at all. Hell, I've met girls in their late 20's that still live with their parents, and they're not freak girls or anything weird at all. (unless you think that makes someone a freak, in which case you shouldn't)
Sure, try dating sites. Try anything. Get clothes you like, maybe some stuff you look good in while also feeling comfortable. Just one or two outfits is fine. If you think you look good in what you wear now, go with that. Clothes aren't super important by any means, but they'll matter to some girls a lot and every girl at least a little. It's like hygiene but less important. Literally one good top & bottom is all you need, but if you get into it you might find a bunch of stuff you like that boosts your mood just to wear.
Hair cuts are important too. Get the hair cut. It's not that big of a thing to do and you'll look better and you won't be worrying about your hair anymore either.
I'd say get your haircut, get whatever clothes and try interacting with people in real life or online dating to sort of establish yourself. Get over that step of fear and remember that girls are just people and everyone wants different things, as do you.
There's three parts of conversation, 1. someone that actually wants to talk to you, 2. getting experience talking to people, which will greatly improve your chances if you don't have a ton of 3. shared interests. That girl at work is just one girl and maybe you don't have much in common with her.
Things to do
1)buy new clothes. Something neutral since you have only one set and not into fashion apparently. When you will know what suits you better you can start experimenting
2)get a haircut
3)clean up your flat if it is not tidy
When you are finished with this you can move to step 2 - socializing, dating sites and so on.
And you don't have ANY friends? Like at all?
I meant in the big picture, there's no reason to be attached to hooking up with a girl
Don't focus on girls. Work on building a fun, healthy social life first. Go outside, do things that seem cool to you. Join clubs, travel, whatever interests you. Once you're contend with your life the rest will likely fall into place.
I don't really have anyone to hang out with, but I've been working on it. Its a wretched feeling, but there is always hope.
SlipperySlope
Banned
I called Robin two days ago, didn't get a response. So I decided fuck it, and did a purge. Removed her from my contacts and messages... Even removed friends I was attracted to, took all of them out of Facebook (Robin never was in my Facebook).
Realized I can never be friends with someone I'm attracted to, so cutting all communication and ways to communicate.
I feel kind of nervous. Never deleted a contact before... Especially one I knew well... I feel sad, hesitated before deleting Robin...
Funny thing is if any of them contact me, my response will have to be "who is this?!?"
Realized I can never be friends with someone I'm attracted to, so cutting all communication and ways to communicate.
I feel kind of nervous. Never deleted a contact before... Especially one I knew well... I feel sad, hesitated before deleting Robin...
Funny thing is if any of them contact me, my response will have to be "who is this?!?"
So i've tried this free datingsite for about a month now. I've met one girl and she was really boring in person and is pretty much the opposite of myself, so i'm not seeing her anymore. The other day i started talking to this other girl that's pretty cute, she has a cat and she's, uh, into spirits (no not liqour) and ghosts and stuff...? I don't know. We talked about comedy and stuff and i sent her a clip of Patrice O' Neal and she liked it. We've not talked about meeting up or anything. Too early for that.
But... This whole datingsite thing is ridiculous. I've had like 10 "emails" sent to me and two of 'em are from girls that i kind of find attractive and interesting - the rest are fat and not at all my type. I go onto their profiles, check their info and their photos and stuff and they do the same - but no one ever fucking sends an email or "flirts" (yeah you can click a button to flirt with someone...), they all just look at my profile and pictures and don't even bother to answer to my emails - not even if they're aimed to flirt or whatever with the them. I gave a girl a compliment the other day, i said that she had a nice style and i just wanted to tell her that... Not even a - "aw thanks!".
I'm gonna have to pick up chicks at the bar aren't i? I can't be single anymore.
But... This whole datingsite thing is ridiculous. I've had like 10 "emails" sent to me and two of 'em are from girls that i kind of find attractive and interesting - the rest are fat and not at all my type. I go onto their profiles, check their info and their photos and stuff and they do the same - but no one ever fucking sends an email or "flirts" (yeah you can click a button to flirt with someone...), they all just look at my profile and pictures and don't even bother to answer to my emails - not even if they're aimed to flirt or whatever with the them. I gave a girl a compliment the other day, i said that she had a nice style and i just wanted to tell her that... Not even a - "aw thanks!
". I'm gonna have to pick up chicks at the bar aren't i? I can't be single anymore.
So a few months ago I made a huge post in this thread telling my story. For those that don't remember it involved my girlfriend moving to China for a year and me succumbing to hard drugs whilst ignoring her and thus pushing her into another guy's arms. When I first posted my wall of text I had just gotten clean and re-initiated contact with her but still had trouble coming to terms with the fact someone else had been 'in the picture' so to speak.
Now for those who care for an update: since then I briefly relapsed but got clean again, my girlfriend came back to Belgium at the end of June and we've been happily together ever since. It's still kind of difficult for me to accept that there was someone else, even though it was only for a very short time and not a lot happened, but I'm trying my best to get over it and I love my girlfriend to death so I guess all is good in the end.
Now for those who care for an update: since then I briefly relapsed but got clean again, my girlfriend came back to Belgium at the end of June and we've been happily together ever since. It's still kind of difficult for me to accept that there was someone else, even though it was only for a very short time and not a lot happened, but I'm trying my best to get over it and I love my girlfriend to death so I guess all is good in the end.
Well, I wont say we told you so...
But yes, GOOD!!!!!!!!! You must heal. You must go NO CONTACT.
You are going to get alot better faster when you aren't stringing yourself out with the "should I call, I called, Will I hear back" kinda game.
Its done.
(And be ready, give it two weeks to a month, and she will text you....This is where the men are men...You will still have feelings for her, but you have to be firm and either not respond, or be very curt and limited in your response).
10 girls contacted you out of nowhere? You are not allowed to complain anymoreBut... This whole datingsite thing is ridiculous. I've had like 10 "emails" sent to me and two of 'em are from girls that i kind of find attractive and interesting - the rest are fat and not at all my type. I go onto their profiles, check their info and their photos and stuff and they do the same - but no one ever fucking sends an email or "flirts" (yeah you can click a button to flirt with someone...), they all just look at my profile and pictures and don't even bother to answer to my emails - not even if they're aimed to flirt or whatever with the them. I gave a girl a compliment the other day, i said that she had a nice style and i just wanted to tell her that... Not even a - "aw thanks!
I'm gonna have to pick up chicks at the bar aren't i? I can't be single anymore.
For most guys, you'd be lucky to get one response in 10 to your own messages, let alone getting messages from girls directly. I have the same experience with them visiting my profile and just leaving without a word. Makes you wonder wtf I wrote that was so bad, but then you hopefully realize it's for the same reasons you dismiss some of them. They just don't fit what you are looking for.As for them not answering your emails, yeah I think that's rude too. It can get very annoying but it's their loss, right?
I can send flirts too, but I've only sent one to one of those visitors, but she didn't respond to that either. I would stop with the compliments, or at least wait until you meet her or something. How many of those do you think she gets per day? I tried going with original and custom-tailored messages for a while. Got absolutely nothing. This last week or so, I've been sending out "Hey there, how's the party summer been treating you?" sometimes even without an email subject. 60+% success rate. One sentence!Izick: Stop talking about it and DO IT!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9VFhVcr2IE
Vermillion
Banned
Lesson learned?
GringoLOCOo
Member
This is long so bear with me and part of this is from another thread on here but now it has a bit more detail.
I'm kinda in the same boat as you guys i absolutely can not talk to girls and it absolutely sucks.
Started a new job in a call centre couple weeks ago and there's this hot blonde who has a boyfriend , i see the blonde everyday and i've been getting all sorts of signs from her like
this from the past couple of weeks
she look's at me for like a minute then looks away but then she does it again and i even catch her looking at times.
Hell for some reason she's always putting her bag near my side of the table when she could put it on the other side and when ever she grabs something from it her head always goes near my legs or her face touch's my arm :/
And she randomly asks me the stupidest question's about work.
Then this week on Monday we started in a new bigger office and the team was told to wait till someone is free to see all us.
And she kept getting quick looks at me and then she thought it was a good idea to play truth or dare.
First she asks me i say no dont want to play then she asks me again and i say no, then at lunch she and everyone else plays truth or dare again and she says to me this time your playing with a smile
So i say fine i'll play and obviously i'm the first one that has to pick , so i pick truth and she says is it ok if there rude and i'm like go for it , then she says ARE YOU A VIRGIN :O lol
I then straight up say no and she smiles and someone walks in the room and the game stops.
then in the afternoon she keeps asking my opinion on random stuff , then i also hear her saying she would love a one night stand even though shes got a boyfriend WTF lol
Well today i was late to work and as soon as i walked in the room the blonde was at the back and she smiled at me but then looked at the wall , then she kept looking at me and i did the same but when she noticed me looking , her eyes quickly looked towards the right and at one point she looked at the floor when she caught me looking dont know if that means anything though.
Then during the day my team and the blonde were sat in a circle together talking about random work stuff and i was paired up with someone else and she was sitting right across from me still getting quick looks at me but then i made a joke to the person i was partnerd up with and the partner and me started laughing and she looked at me and had a big smile on her face and then i looked away but she still kept getting quick looks at me.
Now when me and my partner were standing up infront of everyone presenting work stuff i was told to be more nicer and less agressive , then the blonde said out loud I CAN BE NICE TO HIM with a smile.
And then the person that was incharge of us today let me know that we'll be fineshing work early today and i started smileing and the blonde says out loud look at him with that big smile then i started laughing for some reason lol.
then last but not least when there was an hour to go till end of work she says out loud that she's got butterflies in her stomach the last couple of days , and everyone in the room says its probably something shes thinking about and she says she is thinking about nothing and her face turns all red and the room start laughing that shes blushing lol
I just looked towards the floor lol.
forgot to add she also said before lunch break that she needs a massage out loud and i started smiling and laughing lol
at which point she did as well.
Been wanting to talk to her more today but dont want to get rejected and look like an idiot
I was sat near her today and she kept moving her legs towards me and hit my leg looked at me and i looked at her , she smiled at me i smiled at her and she smiled at me.
at which point i just melted lol
Now i'm seriously considering asking for her number but dont know if thats a good idea ?
Forgot to add she's been talking to me , asking me random questions about work stuff and other stuff
and i always come out with yes or thats nice or even yeah i did this , cant hold a conversation worth shitting on lol
I really really want to but just dont know what else to say or how to keep it flowing :/
any advice dating Gaf?
I'm kinda in the same boat as you guys i absolutely can not talk to girls and it absolutely sucks.
Started a new job in a call centre couple weeks ago and there's this hot blonde who has a boyfriend , i see the blonde everyday and i've been getting all sorts of signs from her like
this from the past couple of weeks
she look's at me for like a minute then looks away but then she does it again and i even catch her looking at times.
Hell for some reason she's always putting her bag near my side of the table when she could put it on the other side and when ever she grabs something from it her head always goes near my legs or her face touch's my arm :/
And she randomly asks me the stupidest question's about work.
Then this week on Monday we started in a new bigger office and the team was told to wait till someone is free to see all us.
And she kept getting quick looks at me and then she thought it was a good idea to play truth or dare.
First she asks me i say no dont want to play then she asks me again and i say no, then at lunch she and everyone else plays truth or dare again and she says to me this time your playing with a smile
So i say fine i'll play and obviously i'm the first one that has to pick , so i pick truth and she says is it ok if there rude and i'm like go for it , then she says ARE YOU A VIRGIN :O lol
I then straight up say no and she smiles and someone walks in the room and the game stops.
then in the afternoon she keeps asking my opinion on random stuff , then i also hear her saying she would love a one night stand even though shes got a boyfriend WTF lol
Well today i was late to work and as soon as i walked in the room the blonde was at the back and she smiled at me but then looked at the wall , then she kept looking at me and i did the same but when she noticed me looking , her eyes quickly looked towards the right and at one point she looked at the floor when she caught me looking dont know if that means anything though.
Then during the day my team and the blonde were sat in a circle together talking about random work stuff and i was paired up with someone else and she was sitting right across from me still getting quick looks at me but then i made a joke to the person i was partnerd up with and the partner and me started laughing and she looked at me and had a big smile on her face and then i looked away but she still kept getting quick looks at me.
Now when me and my partner were standing up infront of everyone presenting work stuff i was told to be more nicer and less agressive , then the blonde said out loud I CAN BE NICE TO HIM with a smile.
And then the person that was incharge of us today let me know that we'll be fineshing work early today and i started smileing and the blonde says out loud look at him with that big smile then i started laughing for some reason lol.
then last but not least when there was an hour to go till end of work she says out loud that she's got butterflies in her stomach the last couple of days , and everyone in the room says its probably something shes thinking about and she says she is thinking about nothing and her face turns all red and the room start laughing that shes blushing lol
I just looked towards the floor lol.
forgot to add she also said before lunch break that she needs a massage out loud and i started smiling and laughing lol
at which point she did as well.
Been wanting to talk to her more today but dont want to get rejected and look like an idiot
I was sat near her today and she kept moving her legs towards me and hit my leg looked at me and i looked at her , she smiled at me i smiled at her and she smiled at me.
at which point i just melted lol
Now i'm seriously considering asking for her number but dont know if thats a good idea ?
Forgot to add she's been talking to me , asking me random questions about work stuff and other stuff
and i always come out with yes or thats nice or even yeah i did this , cant hold a conversation worth shitting on lol
I really really want to but just dont know what else to say or how to keep it flowing :/
any advice dating Gaf?
paparazzo
Member
I know I'm late but I'd also like to chime in on Crush's success. Not trying to sound harsh, but you posted some, ah, interesting stories in the dating age thread a couple of years ago but you seem to have overcome quite a few of those issues and now you've found success. Great job dude.
Moneyhats2k5
Member
Just arrange a outing after work, to gauge interest. For food or at a bar. Simple guy!
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