Then you, my friend, are hanging out with wrong kind of people.
I am sure there are tons of awesome people in Sweden, who don't like to get totally wasted and drunk, as there are in Finland.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
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I am sure there are tons of awesome people in Sweden, who don't like to get totally wasted and drunk, as there are in Finland.
I was just being myself. I thought that's what girls wanted.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
You reveal the dark side of yourself after the fifth date.
If you associate yourself with the neckbeard, you have serious troubles my friend. And I am not even trying to be mean, just honest.
I like personal looking men with an attitude though, so I am not against letting your personality show, on the contrary. I am just against that neckbeard.
Yes, facial hair on its own is totally a nice thing to have. A stubble is totally hawt, full beard can be also really, really sexy... but I haven't yet seen any good looking neckbeards.
If your chin is ungood you could try losing weight. It can improve your face a lot.
This is a relief to hear after one of the comments someone left me in the other thread.
that style screams 'i dont care enough about myself to get regular haircuts or shave regularly'
as it is, you're crossing yourself off the potentials list for a massive fraction of girls rocking that style
if you're not ridiculously confident and suave as fuck, you're crossing off even more
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
That's because they do not exist.
I've got a full beard, but it's very Sasquatch-chic. I need to start grooming this bad boy better.
You want to be yourself, but you also want to put your best foot forward. Don't lie, but be your 'best' self.
For example, if I liked sports, video games, volunteering, traveling and capital markets, I'd probably mention sports and capital markets briefly (demonstrate brains and athleticism, but they don't want to hear the details), talk a lot about traveling (demonstrates adventurousness, and everyone likes to talk about their trips, it's easy conversation as long as you focus on HER trips) and volunteering (demonstrates empathy and altruism, helping people or animals out, etc). I wouldn't mention video games at all, unless it comes up in which case I'd say I played them but would downplay frequency.
See? I was being myself, because I really do like those things, but I was also putting my best foot forward.
Lets just say as an example that over 50 % of my male friends have long hair or tattoos or both. I am not even going to open up different styles of clothing or other things. But all in all, it is just good if you stand out from the crowd, even better, if you manage to do that in a positive way.
Yeah but I live in a $h¥t hole and the closest city is the same size (20 000 people living) and Stockholm is around 300km away. The fact that everyone goes out to get drunk every Wednesday and Friday/Saturday makes me me cringe.
Well I'm off to bed now
Jim E. Rossler
Banned
Good to hear. I feel if I have to completely sacrifice who I am, then it's not even worth it to me. The reason I have clothes like that is because it IS a part of who I am. If she doesn't like that about me, then clearly it will never work and we're both wasting our time.
Changing yourself for the better is one thing. Selling out is another.
Alright so I've got a 2nd date now, which is great, but I'm trying to think of ideas. We can't meet up until a little later (9-9:30ish). So it kind of limits my options, but I wanted to do something fun and break out of the normal drinks, then dinner etc.
I've got a few ideas, such as bowling, barhopping near santa monica pier (but it's been kind of crap and cold weather). Otherwise, I may say lets do a hike this weekend and pack some snacks and wine, but I'd like to do something a little sooner to leave that possibility open for the future... anyone have any other ideas?
I've got a few ideas, such as bowling, barhopping near santa monica pier (but it's been kind of crap and cold weather). Otherwise, I may say lets do a hike this weekend and pack some snacks and wine, but I'd like to do something a little sooner to leave that possibility open for the future... anyone have any other ideas?
Yeah, but at the same time if you really like video games you might end up with a dumb girl who dislikes video games and thus you for liking video games. (only dumb people think that way)
Is she asking you for anything directly? Like is she saying 'let's go on a date' or 'can I have secks?' You don't have to bring it up if she's not.
Then you can say something like 'you're just not feeling the chemistry' or something like that.
If you're just talking to her online you have a lot more options. Is she asking to hang out or anything?
I agree with you there.
And trimming your beard might be a good idea, if it is starting to be totally out of control.
Here is btw a random example of a random lad.
I like his looks way more on the left photo, but I am sure he would look the best if he would have a bit shorter beard or a stubble (he is still totally hot in that photo). The right one is just way too clean and neat to me. Still I think some women would prefer the totally shaved option, so better just be yourself and look for the girl who appreciates your looks the way you want to be.
(But still, please, not that neckbeard.)
We were talking on skype and we were on this place before where a bunch of people shared some like "ideal guy/girl" picture thing, and I decided to message her.
I said "well I can't really tell from that tiny profile pic" and She showed me her picture because the one on her thing was too small.
She said she was curvy but judging from her photo it's more like very overweight. I like curvy but she's not what gets me all riled up (I've gone through this before where I was mentally attracted but once the clothes came off well...). I wouldn't mind being friends but I simply don't want to get into a relationship to someone I'm not physically attracted to.
I said "well I can't really tell from that tiny profile pic" and She showed me her picture because the one on her thing was too small.
She said she was curvy but judging from her photo it's more like very overweight. I like curvy but she's not what gets me all riled up (I've gone through this before where I was mentally attracted but once the clothes came off well...). I wouldn't mind being friends but I simply don't want to get into a relationship to someone I'm not physically attracted to.
Yes.
Nah, I am not talking about sacrificing yourself. I am talking more like adjusting your looks a bit.
Like I want to shake you and ask you how you could possibly think the neckbeard was a good choice.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Would you guys stop posting before I can recover from last night? Thank you
Attaboy.That's a relief. I like being punk.
Oh and before Minamu asked me to share some links or photos of some long-haired sexy lads so you can blame him of these pics. I am just trying to show, that yes, you can be totally hot with longer hair and personal looks.
And yeah, ok. I am trying to stop this drooling.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Those looks are too specific. Better to look good for the entire woman gamut than try to catch a niche.
And would you please get those naked bros out of my sight? this is "how can I land that one girl I am masturbating to" and the beards are not helping out
And would you please get those naked bros out of my sight? this is "how can I land that one girl I am masturbating to" and the beards are not helping out
This.
And come on, talks about videogames can turn out to be awesome... if she is a nerd that is.
If you don't want to mock her looks, you need to go with the "I don't feel any chemistry between us". But that is a hard situation you have managed to put yourself into. Even though if she is really lovely, adorable and she has an awesome personality and brilliant attitude I find it quite harsh not to give her a change just cause of the looks.
But I understand. It might be the same than what a neckbeard does to me.
Nope. Minamu asked for those. Go blame him. ^__^
BronzeWolf
Banned
"You would look so much better with [insert everything she needs here] (except a penis)"
I agree with the sentiment that you shouldn't try to hide your passions from women. I have no interest in lying to people, and getting in a relationship with someone who abhors punk (or more specifically, those that listen to it), video gaming, or what have you will only end badly for me later.
I don't see how they're any different than what I was doing before. Only difference is, they're a little less rough around the edges and they have better genes.
Attaboy.
Oh and before Minamu asked me to share some links or photos of some long-haired sexy lads so you can blame him of these pics. I am just trying to show, that yes, you can be totally hot with longer hair and personal looks.
And yeah, ok. I am trying to stop this drooling.
I don't see how they're any different than what I was doing before. Only difference is, they're a little less rough around the edges and they have better genes.
BronzeWolf
Banned
It's not about hiding your passions, it's about catering to the person on the other side of the table. What if you JUST found the perfect person but she is not TOO hot about punk? Would you turn her down?
Only difference is you are overweight, are not tanned, lack any musical or acting recognition, serious money or status of power.
The Kate Upton/Victoria's Secret thread would help with this. Just don't read 90% of the posts, you might throw your monitor across the room in rage.
I responded and killed any chance of the relationship. woot Still friends tho.
Well, my point was to show that it is totally possible to make girls hot and bothered with personal looks and long-hair. So yes, continue doing what you are doing, but do it in the best possible way. So long hair is fine, but have a nice cut or style on it and keep it clean. So facial hair is fine, just keep it in some shape (other than neckbeard).
Women don't care about a tan (at least I don't give a flying fuck what ever the skin colour may be). And well, actually the only real point you got (I mean those lads are hot what ever they have money, status, or musical or acting recognition) what comes to those images and our dear friend RawPower in here, that yes, he might not be in the best shape and for him, it could make difference if he would start doing some serious sports. Still that is not the issue with all women.
Good for you kitty. Brilliantly done, what ever you said.
BronzeWolf
Banned
It is an issue when it comes to self-confidence. Honestly, I look fucking good with anything on me. I just rock it. It's not about the look, it's about how you address yourself with it. Those naked bros don't care about shit. They know they can handle it. If you come here asking for help, the first assumption, and probably the correct one, is that you are lacking confidence. Being overweight, not tanned, not having recognition, money and statuses of power can seriously damage your confidence. And while girls don't especially care about tanned dudes, they DO care about confidence
I appreciate your input Sadeta. I think we all do, but when it comes to looks, there is much more to it than "hey! but X celebrity has that look" or "but I like THIS METAL BAAAAND". It's about confidence, projecting forth the BETTER you (not different, better) and giving girls a chance.
I honestly don't dress myself anymore, I just let my lady friends do it. Is it not me? maybe, I don't care, the confidence it gives me lets me talk about science nonstop and HEY LET'S PAY ATTENTION TO THIS GUY THAT AT LEAST KNOWS HOW TO DRESS
Depends on the situation. If she hates the fact that I like what I like, then clearly it will never work.
Fair enough.
Not sure how well that would work for one who has freckles.
Honestly, if these are important factors in our relationship (or even factors at all), then I'm not interested. I'd be better off on my own. Chances are, she would not like me at all, and I would probably end up detesting her even more if she wanted me for those things. I have zero tolerance for that.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Welcome to being alone bro. The door is that way. This is the thread for people that WANT to help themselves.
Be humble
Money is important in life. Power is important life. Do you think girls want to tie themselves down to a broke loser? (Not saying that you are one) It doesn't even matter how much money you earn, but your ambition in life. lack of ambition locks out the best kind of girls.
Just reposting this as it's getting lost in all this dude talk.
So how was your first Vday with a girlfriend Bronze?
Exactly, nobody here is saying "Don't ever talk it about ever."
It would be like me briefly mentioning I enjoy video games, but not saying "Oh yeah every night I have three hour marathons of Dota 2!"
The voice I read your posts in is getting tired then.
BronzeWolf
Banned
it was going well until she fell so sick we ended up at the hospital.
About your second date suggestions, well fuck me silly, what does she like to do? Second dates should be set down and convened ON the first date. For future reference, your objective on the first date is to set up second date. Set up as in day, hour and place.
No bowling. That's for kids.
I don't know her likes and dislikes, I wouldn't repeat first date. That's lame.
If you can't come up with an idea, I say you move it for the weekend. As long as she agrees
And what would you suggest I do? Give up my hobbies? Change my tastes? I don't even think I could do that if I tried.
I'm saying it shouldn't matter. I have ambition and I'm not broke, but if someone is interested in me for that reason, then I would just walk away from her the instant I found out.
BronzeWolf
Banned
The answers to these questions:
What's in it for her? What's your deal sealer? Besides listening to weird music and playing video games. That's just shit you do, what else do you offer besides shit you do?
You say that because you are a dood. Girls have much more insecurities in life. They want to feel safe and secure. It DOES matter, and if you think it shouldn't then you'd be better off dating a bro.
Yeah, don't worry, we had talked about a few things on the first date, one of them being hiking. As far as bowling, I forgot to mention it was bowling "with a little class". And by that I mean finishing off a bottle of champagne before going in.
I'll most likely just move it to the weekend, unless we can get together earlier in the evening and do some chefs choice sushi (always interesting).
hospital? damn. Hope everythings all good then.
95% of all girls online that say they're curvy are actually just flat out fat
BronzeWolf
Banned
better to delay and get a better plan than just haphazardly improvise
it's going on better.
I would like to not disclose any more personal information because I really care for this gal, and saying too much has come back to bite me in my not-often-showered ass. She is freaking amazing. Quite a handful yes but I can deal with that.
Part of helping yourself is having STANDARDS. But you're right about moderation. Hell, if you're so obsessed about any one thing and you're not a well rounded person interests wise you're seriously hurting yourself anyways.
Maybe it's just what the gold diggers tell me but I genuinely believe there's a lot of girls that don't care if their guy is broke. Most girls just like nice things, as we all do. Nobody wants to be broke. Basically I think guys and girls see eye to eye on money.
Ambition is important to all aspects of life. Do it for yourself.
Also I think working on getting in shape is the single biggest confidence builder a person can do because you feel it chemically and physically, not just emotionally.
They can do things to feel safe and secure without a guy in their life. Not saying I would be unwilling to provide security and protection, but shouldn't it go both ways? You're making it sound as though women should want to date me because of the money or goods I can offer them. That just feels really wrong to me.
lawlohwhat
Banned
Been catching up on this thread. It's interesting to see some of these new personalities showing up here. It makes the discussion fun.
I won't tell you that your personal philosophy is right or wrong, but I will say that it is a liberating feeling to be more tolerant of society's trends, whether you agree with them or not. We can argue the merits of living in a socio-capitalisitic world all day, but it doesn't change the fact that social status is an important thing for most people, and that it can to an extent be bought.
That said, I am not wealthy by any means, but personally have no trouble with women. You don't have to be rich or famous to enhance your social status. The point that bronzewolf was making is that the fame and riches of those particular people are the result of an attitude that tends to breed high social status. Women (well, all people really) find people attractive when they display a driven passion for whatever it is that they're doing with their life.
This kind of attitude can set one apart from the passive majority, and it will improve the results of just about any human project.
I won't tell you that your personal philosophy is right or wrong, but I will say that it is a liberating feeling to be more tolerant of society's trends, whether you agree with them or not. We can argue the merits of living in a socio-capitalisitic world all day, but it doesn't change the fact that social status is an important thing for most people, and that it can to an extent be bought.
That said, I am not wealthy by any means, but personally have no trouble with women. You don't have to be rich or famous to enhance your social status. The point that bronzewolf was making is that the fame and riches of those particular people are the result of an attitude that tends to breed high social status. Women (well, all people really) find people attractive when they display a driven passion for whatever it is that they're doing with their life.
This kind of attitude can set one apart from the passive majority, and it will improve the results of just about any human project.
Ok. I now got what was your main point and I heartily agree with it.
I was trying to make RawPower to understand that it is possible to handle basicly any look and style as long at it seems you have thought it through and take care of yourself. And yes, you also most likely need that said confidence to do so. I would think that it creates at least some hope to him to know that it is possible. And hope helps to create self confidence.
Hahah. And hey good for you. I also look fucking good with anything on me. Not because I would be particularly sexy or beautiful, but because I can quite easily make myself to believe and feel I am. And I can tell you that that feeling carries one quite far, so better trust yourself, cause otherwise nobody else will. It is not that much how you look, it is more about how you carry yourself.
That makes much more sense. Thanks.
I'm just saying that if she cares more about the money and security than me as a person, then what's the point? Unlike many guys, I'm not in it just for sex. I mean, it's very important to me to have a partner and someone who actually gives a shit. I want love, to put it bluntly.
Yeah I was pretty much thinking the same thing. Thanks, I just needed a little push, I just wanted to see her sooner, but that doesn't mean shit if I go half-assed.
Understandable, good luck man!
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