Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
- Start date
- Status
BronzeWolf
Banned
You do not understand women bro. Women date people with money and goods because they make them feel secure. You do not need to have money and goods, but you absolutely have to make them feel secure. That's what a man does. Not up for it? welcome to being a kid, not a man.
Women want to secure many things that require a guy:
- A family
- A caregiver
- A bro not being a douchebag that fucks them, leaves them in the morning and then tells the tale.
- Someone that understands their passions
A man that fills those needs is one that is confident. Tend to those needs and girls will fill your life with joy. Do not tend them and you will be left wondering how the fuck do girls work
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
How do you guys pull off this sheer confidence? It astounds me. I have my moments, but I'm not able to "turn it on" at will.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Practice, practice, practice.
The first time I told a girl she could either drop the drama or walk out freely, I almost cried. I was afraid of her leaving me. But she then dropped the drama, told me later that she respected me much more for doing that and bam, confidence boost. I call the stakes now. I decide how much drama to handle and she knows that. And she is ok with it.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Why should she care about you if you don't care about her security? WHY? Because you are a fun guy? there are tons of fun guys out there that can also provide security
You say you want to be cared of as a person. Well, how do YOU care about them as a person? You are judging them from the start! NO punk, NO videogames, NO deal? It's the same shit than Punk, Videogames, No Deal! but backwards
ok got hungry from dropping so many truth-bombs, time to catch a rabbit
It does go both ways. For guys, a beautiful girl is not just a matter of fulfilling sexual and romantic attraction, it's a major symbol. Other guys will be envious, and other girls will want you for themselves. It's a measure of how successful you are with attracting partners that you can get a girl that every guy wants for themselves. You don't have to be shallow to feel better about having a fine woman on your arm than an ugly one; just human.
In the same way, you don't have to be a gold digger or care about money whatsoever to be more attracted to a successful guy. That guy will be confident and unafraid and desirable to everyone around him.
I believe improving yourself beyond just 'trying to act confident' is key. When YOU think YOU are on the right track because you ARE you will feel confident.
Don't compare yourself with others, that part isn't even really that important.
What matters is that you're doing the right stuff and you're headed in the right direction. You're learning, you're getting better, and the sky's the limit because you believe that you can do it.
Thank you. Maybe I just don't understand these things as well as I should, at this point in my life.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
1. I assume in a relationship you'd have to come to a mutual understanding. A great girl whose passions you understand and appreciate will do the same for you.
2. The joy of having someone in your life that loves you unconditionally? I dunno, I'm not that joyful.
BronzeWolf
Banned
They will, but you seem to only care about yourself. You want YOU with boobs
How are your Sunday evenings doing for you? Know that feeling? The joy of sharing that time with someone that cares for you, tends to you and admires you. That kind of joy
Yet you want only to get things right? You will only love a girl that gives you sex and companionship yet You still haven't answered, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO OFFER?
1. Yes, if they don't do it for you, you don't have to be with them
There's two parts of 'giving' in this way that are fun. When you do something for someone you like (not just girls, but also friends, family) you feel good for doing so. You see them happy. This should be its own reward in a way. I think you need to understand that before you tackle what's next.
And more relevant to the discussion at hand, yeah, guys do a lot for girls sometimes. But if it feels right to you it'll be worth it. Realistically the right girl will reciprocate your efforts as hard and as best as she can in whatever ways she can. You will get back (and not even necessarily just sex and companionship but gifts, cooked meals, or whatever), and if you're not happy with what you get back you don't have to have a relationship with her.
BronzeWolf
Banned
I hurt my shoulder last night. I didn't have to tell my girl, she knew just by watching me and gave me an unrequested massage.
yeah, I will fight fucking hydras for that kind of shit
yeah, I will fight fucking hydras for that kind of shit
That first one sounds like one I shouldn't click on from work. Can you explain?
KAAATE! KAAATE! KAAATE! KAAATE!
Send okcupid messages to the 90%+ ladies, barely any replies. Send okcupid messages to the 60%+ ladies, replies everywhere! Well...okay?
I didn't mean to come off as selfish (though I probably did anyway). I'm just afraid of it being a one-sided relationship. That's all.
This is exactly what I want.
See above (the first part, I mean).
Yes to both.
Yeah, for me I think soul mate territory is somewhere around 40% match 60% enemy.
It's just because those questions are mostly fucking dumb and useless.
So can I safely click from work or not?
Yes. It is nothing that bad.
It seems you might have some problems with making yourself to come out as adorable. And now I mean only your way of saying things. You managed to look selfish and unsecure even within the party that is mainly male.
You could perhaps try to be more polite and open minded towards people in general? Now you strike us as stubborn and uncompromising. I don't say you should change your way of thinking, I am just implying you could try to express your feelings in nicer way. I have also noticed that people who are very unsecure about themselves are usually the ones that pick on other people and don't think other's are good enough for them.
We aren't trying to change you, we are seriously looking for your best interest.
Edit. Oh and now after this message I feel like an asshole. Good work.
Ah, it is 5 am, I am going to crawl to bed.
Haha. Bad example? Or amazing example?
Cutting a hydra's head off will result in two more heads appearing.
My GF made me Settlers of Catan cupcakes last night for my berfday. She's a keeper.
I tell you, I had to go through some hilariously bad matches to get to her, but I'm glad I stuck it out and didn't give up on dating. I hope you guys wanting to give up will take this awesome story as fuel to continue your quest. It's cheesey, but "it gets better." So keep on going!
luckyboyceo
Member
So the girl I went out with last weekend texted me earlier tonight talking about a local viewpoint. We were able to meet up about 10 minutes later, super spontaneously, which led to us making out for the first time/having an all around good (albeit, short) time together.
Totally unplanned and totally awesome. I love life.
Totally unplanned and totally awesome. I love life.
Holy shit that's amazing! Definitely a keeper my man.
I am indeed stubborn and (unintentionally) rude, at times. Part of that is Asperger's (which is a whole 'nother can of worms in itself), and part of it is my somewhat uncompromising nature, as you said. I am someone that not only knows that he is different, but loves that about himself and is reluctant to give that up. I hope that makes sense. I didn't mean to come off as a dick.
Haha. Bad example? Or amazing example?
Cutting a hydra's head off will result in two more heads appearing.
My GF made me Settlers of Catan cupcakes last night for my berfday. She's a keeper.
I tell you, I had to go through some hilariously bad matches to get to her, but I'm glad I stuck it out and didn't give up on dating. I hope you guys wanting to give up will take this awesome story as fuel to continue your quest. It's cheesey, but "it gets better." So keep on going!
That's awesome man. This girl obviously cares about you. But I'm sure you knew that
Ghost_Protocol
Member
Every girl I talk to has a boyfriend
Atramental
Banned
BronzeWolf
Banned
Haha. Bad example? Or amazing example?
Cutting a hydra's head off will result in two more heads appearing.
My GF made me Settlers of Catan cupcakes last night for my berfday. She's a keeper.
I tell you, I had to go through some hilariously bad matches to get to her, but I'm glad I stuck it out and didn't give up on dating. I hope you guys wanting to give up will take this awesome story as fuel to continue your quest. It's cheesey, but "it gets better." So keep on going!
Mine baked me heart shaped cookies with my initial on them. She was a total control freak on the whole ordeal, but I was not faced and appreciated the gesture
Then surely getting a haircut and shaving that beard is not much of a sacrifice right? You can grow them later! Most likely you won't want to
BronzeWolf
Banned
Every girl I talk to has a boyfriend
Every girl I talk to might have a sister in law for me
Every girl I talk to has a boyfriend
I know that feel bro.
So we actually talked today on the phone. She said she was going to stop and I told her to take good care of her self and that I hope everything works out for her. I was actually happy to say it. Like I was free of her for real this time.
For whatever reason though, she couldn't say bye and just ended up texting me good bye. Kind of cheap for 7 years but I guess I'll take what I can get. Literally walked over me for years, left every time we tried to have a relationship But she can't say goodbye over a phone without keeping it together? Whats there to cry about? You cry about something you have no control over. For years she had a choice to stay and make an effort, she never did. Weird girl, but whatever.
Take everything you've heard about what girls say they want. Do the opposite of that. That's what they really want.
I'm suddenly reminded of that Adventure Time episode where Finn is trying to take Princess Bubblegum to the movies.
First of all thank for all your help. On Valentine's day I spoke to a grandmother about what she did for Valentine and she spoke about her grandkids.
I realized that love is not the big things but the little stuff and people you care about in many ways is a type of love. The first thing I need to do is find what it means to have true friend or even touch base with some old ones.
My first instinct is that the world hates me but I think that is wrong assessment. People are generally nice and when they see you are a good person it flows within you.
After I finish school and the bar: I will join some groups like book clubs, whitewater rafting, maybe bowling, cooking classes. I will get to talk to my peers in many ways and will learn to have a friendship. I will worry about the date concept later. When I start to have better relationships then romantic ones become easier.
I realized that love is not the big things but the little stuff and people you care about in many ways is a type of love. The first thing I need to do is find what it means to have true friend or even touch base with some old ones.
My first instinct is that the world hates me but I think that is wrong assessment. People are generally nice and when they see you are a good person it flows within you.
After I finish school and the bar: I will join some groups like book clubs, whitewater rafting, maybe bowling, cooking classes. I will get to talk to my peers in many ways and will learn to have a friendship. I will worry about the date concept later. When I start to have better relationships then romantic ones become easier.
Every girl I talk to has a boyfriend
Happens to me to.
Hey mj is that really you? long time no see posts.
I quit trolling the GCNGB and WiiGB and creating incidentary threads.
btw from my experience women get made when you avoid them. It's like they want a challenge.
OK, so looking back at my posts in here....
Yeah, I'm a dick. Sorry.
So they do like neckbeards then, huh?
Yeah, I'm a dick. Sorry.
So they do like neckbeards then, huh?
I'm joking, if it's not obvious already
Mr Touchdown
Member
I know this feel. It sucks.
Hypereides
Member
Every girl I talk to has a boyfriend
Depending on the scenario it should be reevaluated as a defensive stance, like a test. Probing to find out if you really are the man she could be insterested in. A test of your characteristica. If youre strong enough to take up a challenge.
Some times it proves they dont even have one.
Ive been in bed with and dated girls that actually had a boyfriend... which well, they never mentioned untill I found out about them later or through a mutual friend.
.....I would like to think most girls are not like that, and even so those girls would be the ones to run the fuck away from.
Hypereides
Member
From what I gather you saying, it sounds shocking to you. Im not saying its morally alright, but its a part of attraction.
Its all natural selection.
I can even give you an example of a girl Im flirting with atm. All her friends (my mutual friends) have told me she has a boyfriend... she has yet to tell that to my face. She hasnt mentioned it all, and shes hitting on me and giving clear signs of interest. As long as she doesnt mind, I wont mind either. Just goes to show her boyfriend is doing a shitty job keeping her interested.
In the end its her choice whether she wants to continue the pursuit. Im just going along. Im not judgemental for human beings and their desire.
People above a certain threshold of desirability often don't spend *any* time single. Think about how that can be the case: when they're starting to feel like shit about their current relationship, the previously impervious shields will go down for the right person advancing on them (channeling that dissatisfaction and highlighting the opportunity for something better/new/different) and they'll end the existing relationship (before or after sleeping with the new person...) and go straight into the next one with the new person. You can't ever have a chance with a person frequently being hit on if you wait for them to be single and they're never actually single.
I would end a relationship before being with someone else as I have strict standards for my own behavior. The other direction doesn't really apply; if a girl's dissatisfied with her current relationship and is on her way out, and chooses me (as she would if she had any sense whatsoever unless he's Michael Fassbender or something, but then how would she ever be dissatisfied in the first place?!), that's some unknown guy's loss and my gain. I'd want her to end things with the other guy immediately though or I'd bail, since that's getting into amoral/untrustworthy behavior and not cool to string the guy along like that.
And that makes more sense, I was just saying straight up sleeping with you before breaking it off with the other guy would be a reason to bail out.
Pollux
Member
Buddy of mine is now hooking up with this girl who is still living with her boyfriend. her and my buddy "go study in the library" and then she goes back to the boyfriend like nothings wrong. I just don't fucking get it.
Exactly. Break it off BEFORE doing any of that. If they want to do it after, then nope, I'm bailing out.
Pollux
Member
I just can't help but be amazed when he thinks that him and her are going to have a successful happy relationship. He doesn't seem to get the fact that she'll just do this to him if and when they end up together.
Yeah, I mean, your buddy should enjoy himself, but if she's sleeping around a bunch casually while living with someone and pretending that everything's totally fine, phew, that's the opposite of relationship material. I'd laugh my ass off if she wanted to move in with me after that ;b
Pollux
Member
That's the crazy part, he WANTS her to. Thinking they'll be happy ever after and all that. We've told him he's crazy but he thinks that he's special and she won't do that to him eventually. **shrug** oh well.
- Status