Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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So there's this international student I was into who I got to go out with once. It seemed like the date went well until I tried to go for a kiss at the end of our date. I got the cheek so the ending was bitter sweet. We didn't talk much after but every once in a while we'd text each other to see how we were doing. Yesterday I hit her up via text and out of nowhere she asked if I wanted to marry her. I thought it was a joke so I joked around and then realized she was serious when she mentioned it was going to be a fake marriage for $20,000. What would you guys do in this situation? I could use the 20k but it seems like there's a whole lot legal issues and paper work to deal with.
 
jasonng said:
Fine, for the sake of argument let's say the guy is an asshole and is treating this particular girl like crap. My point is to stop putting the blame on the girl. She doesn't have psychological issues and there's nothing wrong with her. The guy she's into is interesting and you're more boring than him. She just knows what she wants. So instead of resorting to name calling, how about just asking yourself "what is he doing that I'm not?" and learn how you can be attractive to girls. Because you can certainly do it.
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Uh-huh.
 
jasonng said:
Fine, for the sake of argument let's say the guy is an asshole and is treating this particular girl like crap. My point is to stop putting the blame on the girl. She doesn't have psychological issues and there's nothing wrong with her. The guy she's into is interesting and you're more boring than him. She just knows what she wants. So instead of resorting to name calling, how about just asking yourself "what is he doing that I'm not?" and learn how you can be attractive to girls. Because you can certainly do it.
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Aurora said:
Yes, exactly. Well said.

seattle6418, your problem is that you see these dicks getting all the girls and you blame the girls for being easy sluts. You label them because it comforts you and it masks your inability to get these girls.

The truth is, the girls choose these guys because they are more interesting, more charismatic and more confident than you are. The reason it seems they treat the girls like dirt is because they know what they want and they don't put up with the shit girls throw at them.

These seemingly "easy" girls are impossible for you to get with your current attitude.
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Some real talk right there.
 
Damn hate myself right now.

So im coming back from lunch, entered an empty elevator, as the door was closing this SOOO MY TYPE CUTE girl rushes in and said "sorry"

I said "thats OK". Gahh im lame, lol.

She was soo freaking cute, and was wearing bright blue stockings for christ sakes. I noticed for the brief moment she was looking my direction, and i kept saying to myself, "make eye contatc dammit" and chickened out.

Bleh.
 
GeneralIroh said:
So there's this international student I was into who I got to go out with once. It seemed like the date went well until I tried to go for a kiss at the end of our date. I got the cheek so the ending was bitter sweet. We didn't talk much after but every once in a while we'd text each other to see how we were doing. Yesterday I hit her up via text and out of nowhere she asked if I wanted to marry her. I thought it was a joke so I joked around and then realized she was serious when she mentioned it was going to be a fake marriage for $20,000. What would you guys do in this situation? I could use the 20k but it seems like there's a whole lot legal issues and paper work to deal with.
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Oh, desperate quickie green card marriage, how romantic.
 
GeneralIroh said:
So there's this international student I was into who I got to go out with once. It seemed like the date went well until I tried to go for a kiss at the end of our date. I got the cheek so the ending was bitter sweet. We didn't talk much after but every once in a while we'd text each other to see how we were doing. Yesterday I hit her up via text and out of nowhere she asked if I wanted to marry her. I thought it was a joke so I joked around and then realized she was serious when she mentioned it was going to be a fake marriage for $20,000. What would you guys do in this situation? I could use the 20k but it seems like there's a whole lot legal issues and paper work to deal with.
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Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it. Dont do it.
 
That 20k may be tempting, but as highluxury says, DON'T DO IT!

Living in South Florida, I see how these things turn out pretty often.
 
GeneralIroh said:
So there's this international student I was into who I got to go out with once. It seemed like the date went well until I tried to go for a kiss at the end of our date. I got the cheek so the ending was bitter sweet. We didn't talk much after but every once in a while we'd text each other to see how we were doing. Yesterday I hit her up via text and out of nowhere she asked if I wanted to marry her. I thought it was a joke so I joked around and then realized she was serious when she mentioned it was going to be a fake marriage for $20,000. What would you guys do in this situation? I could use the 20k but it seems like there's a whole lot legal issues and paper work to deal with.
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This sounds like a really good idea.

NO

Oxn said:
Damn hate myself right now.

So im coming back from lunch, entered an empty elevator, as the door was closing this SOOO MY TYPE CUTE girl rushes in and said "sorry"

I said "thats OK". Gahh im lame, lol.

She was soo freaking cute, and was wearing bright blue stockings for christ sakes. I noticed for the brief moment she was looking my direction, and i kept saying to myself, "make eye contatc dammit" and chickened out.

Bleh.
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Don't hate yourself, just resolve to do better next time.

"Sorry."
"You better be sorry, I'm gonna have to wait like an extra two seconds to get to my floor!"
"Tee hee!"
"So what's your name..." etc

Or if that's not your style:
"Sorry."
"That's ok... all right, listen, I gotta tell you: those are some attention-grabbing stockings. What color is that, anyway?"
"Haha, thanks. They're cyan!"
"Right on. So what's your name..." etc
 
Oxn said:
Damn hate myself right now.

So im coming back from lunch, entered an empty elevator, as the door was closing this SOOO MY TYPE CUTE girl rushes in and said "sorry"

I said "thats OK". Gahh im lame, lol.

She was soo freaking cute, and was wearing bright blue stockings for christ sakes. I noticed for the brief moment she was looking my direction, and i kept saying to myself, "make eye contatc dammit" and chickened out.

Bleh.
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This is why it helps to be friendly and social with everyone. Yes even men and old ladies. Think of social skills as muscle, it needs exercise. I suck at it but trying to get better. Talking to that girl, even if nothing happened, should have been cake.

Not trying to be critical just motivate a little (I need the motivation as well).
 
Oxn said:
Damn hate myself right now.

So im coming back from lunch, entered an empty elevator, as the door was closing this SOOO MY TYPE CUTE girl rushes in and said "sorry"

I said "thats OK". Gahh im lame, lol.

She was soo freaking cute, and was wearing bright blue stockings for christ sakes. I noticed for the brief moment she was looking my direction, and i kept saying to myself, "make eye contatc dammit" and chickened out.

Bleh.
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This has happened to me more times than I'm comfortable saying.

I am such a wuss.
 
 
Cyan said:
This sounds like a really good idea.

NO


Don't hate yourself, just resolve to do better next time.

"Sorry."
"You better be sorry, I'm gonna have to wait like an extra two seconds to get to my floor!"
"Tee hee!"
"So what's your name..." etc

Or if that's not your style:
"Sorry."
"That's ok... all right, listen, I gotta tell you: those are some attention-grabbing stockings. What color is that, anyway?"
"Haha, thanks. They're cyan!"
"Right on. So what's your name..." etc
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Thats good stuff. I always tell myself, start with a light joke, but i froze.

Joe said:
This is why it helps to be friendly and social with everyone. Yes even men and old ladies. Think of social skills as muscle, it needs exercise. I suck at it but trying to get better. Talking to that girl, even if nothing happened, should have been cake.

Not trying to be critical just motivate a little (I need the motivation as well).
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Old men and old ladies are a piece of cake for me lol. Just as she jumped through the door i instantly lost it. She also strikes me as a shy type.
 
GeneralIroh said:
So there's this international student I was into who I got to go out with once. It seemed like the date went well until I tried to go for a kiss at the end of our date. I got the cheek so the ending was bitter sweet. We didn't talk much after but every once in a while we'd text each other to see how we were doing. Yesterday I hit her up via text and out of nowhere she asked if I wanted to marry her. I thought it was a joke so I joked around and then realized she was serious when she mentioned it was going to be a fake marriage for $20,000. What would you guys do in this situation? I could use the 20k but it seems like there's a whole lot legal issues and paper work to deal with.
Click to expand...

Trust me i know someone very very close to me who has done this before.

IT IS NOT WORTH THE TROUBLE!!!
 
Question to dating age, do you guys all have your own place? If not how do you sneak the "not independent" bit into date convo?
 
jasonng said:
And who says these guys are treating these girls like crap? They evoke attraction because they're honest with the girls instead of being a "nice guy." Never blame girls for "rewarding" guys that have better game than you. Instead, just step your game up. Be more aggressive and be honest with your feelings. Girls know you want sex too so stop trying to cover that up. You can make girls want you without having to be an "asshole."

I agree with soultron, calling these girls sluts just because they want the same thing you do already puts in the wrong mentality.
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Aurora said:
Yes, exactly. Well said.

seattle6418, your problem is that you see these dicks getting all the girls and you blame the girls for being easy sluts. You label them because it comforts you and it masks your inability to get these girls.

The truth is, the girls choose these guys because they are more interesting, more charismatic and more confident than you are. The reason it seems they treat the girls like dirt is because they know what they want and they don't put up with the shit girls throw at them.

These seemingly "easy" girls are impossible for you to get with your current attitude.
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Awesome. There's also nothing more stupid than a heterosexual man who wants sex from women slut-shaming them. Way to encourage us to keep our legs shut.
 
Door2Dawn said:
So if a girl asks you if you're a virgin, should you tell the truth or lie?
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Truth. Here's the way I see it.

If they REALLY want you to be a virgin that badly, then chances are, it's for religious reasons, and if you aren't religious like they are, then you might have more issues down the road as it is.

On other hand, some girls (not all though) want "experienced" men, and obviously not being a virgin will help with that.
 
So I really like this girl I've been hanging out with, and she's come over and we've watched some T.V shows and movies, and we've held hands, cuddled and lightly kissed, but I`m having trouble getting more intimate than that. I don't know, she's only the second girl I've really liked in a long time and actually done something about it, but everytime I think about doing more, I just freeze up and decide against it. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I just think she'll think I'm an awful kisser because I've only deeply kissed one other girl, bleh.
 
Ultimoo said:
So I really like this girl I've been hanging out with, and she's come over and we've watched some T.V shows and movies, and we've held hands, cuddled and lightly kissed, but I`m having trouble getting more intimate than that. I don't know, she's only the second girl I've really liked in a long time and actually done something about it, but everytime I think about doing more, I just freeze up and decide against it. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I just think she'll think I'm an awful kisser because I've only deeply kissed one other girl, bleh.
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You're thinking too much. She seems to be into you so just go for it. I know it's hard to get over mental hurdles but if you don't do it then you risk losing her and if you really do like her then I'm guessing you don't want that to happen.
 
Hylian7 said:
Truth. Here's the way I see it.

If they REALLY want you to be a virgin that badly, then chances are, it's for religious reasons, and if you aren't religious like they are, then you might have more issues down the road as it is.

On other hand, some girls (not all though) want "experienced" men, and obviously not being a virgin will help with that.
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My first was because the chick found out and wanted to take my virginity. Lucked out I suppose. Definitely the exception but it's not 100% a bad thing. Some girls get off on that I suppose.
 
How rude is it to blow someone off that you think is crazy? She added me on Facebook and her profile consists mostly of photos with the caption "future hubby".
 
cousins said:
How rude is it to blow someone off that you think is crazy? She added me on Facebook and her profile consists mostly of photos with the caption "future hubby".
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This is like defcon one dude. There is no amount of rude that's too rude when telling a stalker to fuck off.
 
Devolution said:
This is like defcon one dude. There is no amount of rude that's too rude when telling a stalker to fuck off.
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This. I don't know if you saw it, but did you see that series of images posted a few days ago of those text messages from that girl? Yeah......you don't want it to end up like that.
 
Acid08 said:
You're thinking too much. She seems to be into you so just go for it. I know it's hard to get over mental hurdles but if you don't do it then you risk losing her and if you really do like her then I'm guessing you don't want that to happen.
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bleh, but I suck at kissing, lol.
 
Ultimoo said:
bleh, but I suck at kissing, lol.
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How are you going to get better at kissing? Doing it more.... Take it from me who lost someone that he really cared about. Stop thinking about what you want to do, and as it pops in your mind do it then. I really wish I could re-do my situation and stick to this advice.
 
MutantCyborg said:
How are you going to get better at kissing? Doing it more.... Take it from me who lost someone that he really cared about. Stop thinking about what you want to do, and as it pops in your mind do it then. I really wish I could re-do my situation and stick to this advice.
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Pretty much this. Same thing goes for sex too. Stop worrying about being "bad" at either, you just figure it out and get better.
 
Haha I clicked on that link and didn't realize there was anything past the first image. It was like, "aww, sadface." Then I see Jason's reaction and click again.

"Uh-oh..."

"Uh-oh........"

"Hasn't she watched Swingers?"

"Hooooooly shit."

"BAIL THE FUCK OUT"

"Leave town or hope she isn't up for a murder-suicide."
 
Oxn said:
Damn hate myself right now.

So im coming back from lunch, entered an empty elevator, as the door was closing this SOOO MY TYPE CUTE girl rushes in and said "sorry"

I said "thats OK". Gahh im lame, lol.

She was soo freaking cute, and was wearing bright blue stockings for christ sakes. I noticed for the brief moment she was looking my direction, and i kept saying to myself, "make eye contatc dammit" and chickened out.

Bleh.
Click to expand...

Same thing just happened to me. Im returning from getting groceries and this really cute girl is standing out in front of my place with 2 dogs and all i could muster was 'hello' and an awkward laugh as i looked at her pets. There is no hope for me.
 
Drats... girl has to work early tomorrow so plans tonight are being rescheduled for tomorrow. Time to go find out what my friends are up to tonight.
 
Jackben said:
Here's another 'abort signal activated' scenario: http://i.imgur.com/Zuoxg.jpg
Click to expand...

eyRIy.png


oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god
 
Aurora said:
Yes, exactly. Well said.

seattle6418, your problem is that you see these dicks getting all the girls and you blame the girls for being easy sluts. You label them because it comforts you and it masks your inability to get these girls.

The truth is, the girls choose these guys because they are more interesting, more charismatic and more confident than you are. The reason it seems they treat the girls like dirt is because they know what they want and they don't put up with the shit girls throw at them.

These seemingly "easy" girls are impossible for you to get with your current attitude.
Click to expand...

That's true as hell but how does someone become those three things.
 
number47 said:
that reminds me. I need friends. NYC GAF,WHERE ARE YOU?!
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Here.

I'm trying to encourage other gaffers to post their events there just so there's awareness. For example, there's a good amount of DJs here and I'm trying to get heads for KC's gig next month. There will definitely be girls to talk to.
 
Devolution said:
This is like defcon one dude. There is no amount of rude that's too rude when telling a stalker to fuck off.
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In her defense, they aren't of me. They're of random guys she knows. Not sure if that makes it any better. All of her quotes are about true love and things like that too.

I ended up sending her a fb message telling her I wasn't interested. And, while I do feel like a creep for telling her the day before we were supposed to hang out, I'm also glad that I've avoided the situation. Hopefully she doesn't feel too shitty about it.
 
cousins said:
In her defense, they aren't of me. They're of random guys she knows. Not sure if that makes it any better. All of her quotes are about true love and things like that too.

I ended up sending her a fb message telling her I wasn't interested. And, while I do feel like a creep for telling her the day before we were supposed to hang out, I'm also glad that I've avoided the situation. Hopefully she doesn't feel too shitty about it.
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Even then that's just weird dude.
 
I dated a girl who made a facebook album that was just pictures of me, with the title "Mine."

I stopped dating her shortly thereafter.
 
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