There's a video of Kong going up to a hot chick at a bar or club or someplace and kissing her within like 2 minutes.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
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There's a video of Kong going up to a hot chick at a bar or club or someplace and kissing her within like 2 minutes.
scar tissue
Banned
What a total fucking ****. While I agree that lots of these messages are bad/pathetic, the sentiment behind the page is disgusting.I found this the other day on some girl's OKC profile.
http://demurexdevil.tumblr.com/
I wonder if I'll end up on there.
Atramental, you should seriously go for a more sane chick.
It's nice that she replied and all, but you deserve better.
Edit:
What the fuck is wrong with this message?
Yeah, the punctuation isn't perfect but apart from that I'd say it's pretty decent.
What the fuck does "princess" want?
boundedseven
Banned
Links plz
Sanky Panky
Banned
You are already acting as a needy, dependent loser, and have already given her the upper hand. Sorry to be so blatant, but she'll be able to smell it from a mile away. No matter how much you try, this will be blatantly obvious to her.
Don't overthink it about expressing an honest interest in getting to know her better, BUT you need to see this girl for what she is... DISPENSABLE. You need to understand that if not this girl, you'll find one with the same or better qualities, without having to go through the dumb mind-games we all subject ourselves to. If it doesn't work out with this one, oh well. There will be others. Don't fall for sappy rom-com notions that she's the one girl, the love of your life, blah blah blah.
You should simply look forward to getting to know and have fun with this other human being. It helps make it fun for both that there is sexual/physical attraction which you should act on. This gives off a much better vibe to her.
Edit:
What the fuck is wrong with this message?
Yeah, the punctuation isn't perfect but apart from that I'd say it's pretty decent.
What the fuck does "princess" want?
It's a creepy overtly cheesy message. What guy you know tells his bud, "hey bro, want to have a lively conversation or a spontaneous adventure?!?!". It's not like girls fall for that kind of cheese.
With that said, the girl is a douche and attention brat with a sense of entitlement, since she'll always have suckers after her.
J-Roderton
Member
So the chick I was talking to last night on OKC was responding and giving the smiley face thing a ton, but she didn't seem to ask much. I mean, at the end everything was cool and said goodnight, but now I don't know if she'd want to talk again. I guess it would be cool to just message her again on the weekend maybe? I don't think anyone would want to hang out after the first message or two but it would be cool to get it to that point.
You are right, and every one else here who have replied to me with similar advice. I realized I was being a suspicious idiot.
We exchanged emails a couple of times today and then gave her a call. She didn't pick up but texted me back almost immediately saying that she is at work. Didn't know people worked past 10pm apparently she is really the busy type. I realize this is Japan, and I do remember my ex working everyday until 8pm and also working on Saturdays twice or three times a month, and in a rare occasion on a Sunday too.
She asked me if I'm free during the day on weekdays, because that's when she gets some time off. I told her sure I could make some time for you. She haven't replied yet, it was almost 11pm when I sent it, but I think I should relax, assume good faith, be true to myself and go with the flow. Whether it works out or not I dunno.
I'm glad I've got myself some hobbies. This month I started hitting the gym and I have a friend who goes skiing often and might go with him this weekend, depending whether it snows or not. Having hobbies and meeting friends and being active, makes my conversations with her easier. I don't come out as lifeless loser and always have a backup plan, and made it clear to her in my exchange, in a respectful manner.
All our exchanges in Japanese. I rank myself Lv 2.5 which is above mid level but below high level. I hope my Japanese doesn't betray me and I succeed and conveying my thoughts to her properly.
I realize what you are saying, but you haven't seen how cute she is. I met and dated and went out with a number of girls, this one beats them hands down.
I thought emailing her once or twice a day tops and only to reply back to her was not a sign of desperation. Should I ignore her for a while? What are you trying to say?
I'm having a pull and a push with her. I told her if we can't meet this weekend let me know because I will go to Niigata to ski with my friends instead. She replied to me asking if I'm free during day time on weekdays almost immediately, and I replied back saying since I only got my research and don't have classes until April I could try to make sometime for you. I think the dynamics are balanced.
I'm revealing my insecurities to you guys but I think I'm hiding it well from her. I only email her to reply to her email, and we are having a conversation going on, so I think I'm doing alright. If she doesn't reply to my email I wont be emailing her for a couple of days, but so far she has been replying back to me in decent frequency. I make busy during the day and I only reply back to her after 7pm and before 11pm.
GeneralIroh
Member
Haha yeah. I said no and she stopped talking to me after that but whatevers.
Atramental
Banned
Maybe she has an Atramental sized hole that needs to be filled.What a total fucking ****. While I agree that lots of these messages are bad/pathetic, the sentiment behind the page is disgusting.
Atramental, you should seriously go for a more sane chick.
It's nice that she replied and all, but you deserve better.
Edit:
What the fuck is wrong with this message?
Yeah, the punctuation isn't perfect but apart from that I'd say it's pretty decent.
What the fuck does "princess" want?
But in all seriousness, I think this girl has already lost interest in me. Which I don't mind because she does seem very self centered and she lives quite a distance from me.
Baconsaurus Rex
Member
So you don't have any updates? Too bad, it was a romantic comedy in the making.Maybe she has an Atramental sized hole that needs to be filled.
But in all seriousness, I think this girl has already lost interest in me. Which I don't mind because she does seem very self centered and she lives quite a distance from me.
Atramental
Banned
Sanky Panky
Banned
you are doing good by only replying to her and not overdoing the e-mails. If anything I would have done differently, is to be more assertive, and when she asked you about free time during the day, you should have said "I'm free this X at Y time. What about you?"
You don't need to ignore her, but you need to push for a meet FAST. E-mails back and forth are boring after a while, and she can lose interest. I'm sure she's cute, but you need to go into it knowing that it might not work out, and you'd be ok with that. Take her off that pedestal.
Silphonica
Banned
Let me get your take on this please, I could really use an outside perspective.
There is this girl in work I've been eye'ing for a few weeks now, shes really pretty, funny awesome to talk to with a hint of crazy, shes my type. My friend has been finding out behind the scenes, shes really into me, she knows I like her and we always secretly smile to each other.
Shes in a relationship, has been for 7 years. She doesn't know that I know, but she also told my friend that the love is gone. (besides that she is now 21, he is now 29, do the math).
I want to believe her when she says the love is gone and is really into me. I really do. I know i'm going to pursue this. I mean, I work in a factory and I am excited to go into work tomorrow just to talk to her. I'm excited to go work into a factory. That shit is insane for me.
An advice on how I should approach this?
There is this girl in work I've been eye'ing for a few weeks now, shes really pretty, funny awesome to talk to with a hint of crazy, shes my type. My friend has been finding out behind the scenes, shes really into me, she knows I like her and we always secretly smile to each other.
Shes in a relationship, has been for 7 years. She doesn't know that I know, but she also told my friend that the love is gone. (besides that she is now 21, he is now 29, do the math).
I want to believe her when she says the love is gone and is really into me. I really do. I know i'm going to pursue this. I mean, I work in a factory and I am excited to go into work tomorrow just to talk to her. I'm excited to go work into a factory. That shit is insane for me.
An advice on how I should approach this?
Overcame my approach anxiety and it felt great. I completely fumbled everything that I had planned to gain her interest, make her laugh etc. Despite this she's agreed to go out tommorow and actually pulled a game on me to get my number.
I'm thinking of the bookstore date but my brain is drawing a complete blank on things we can do so any advice would be appreciated. I also need to figure out how to not be friendzoned on this bookstore date so a lot of kino how should this escalate so my
intentions are known? Lastly the first phone call should I keep it short and sweet?
I'm thinking of the bookstore date but my brain is drawing a complete blank on things we can do so any advice would be appreciated. I also need to figure out how to not be friendzoned on this bookstore date so a lot of kino how should this escalate so my
intentions are known? Lastly the first phone call should I keep it short and sweet?
I've been single since October, it has been 4 months now
I think i have finally gotten my confidence back! And from the whole process, it was a great, great experience! I have learnt so much from this past 4 months! And i finally got the job i wanted for a very very long time! Now i have a new direction! I feel powerful inside! Because i am on my to dream!
I think i will start to enjoy being single from now, because there is so much stuff waiting for me to do! And see anyone i want to see!
I think i have finally gotten my confidence back! And from the whole process, it was a great, great experience! I have learnt so much from this past 4 months! And i finally got the job i wanted for a very very long time! Now i have a new direction! I feel powerful inside! Because i am on my to dream!
I think i will start to enjoy being single from now, because there is so much stuff waiting for me to do! And see anyone i want to see!
I think you should just talk to her, and approach her directly, theres no reason not to.
Because she never told you about her having a boyfriend, that means she doesn't want you to know. So you should just pretend you don't know, never mention about it, because it is what she wants! Just approach her directly and let her know you like her. if she really likes you, she will tell you she has a boyfriend herself! Then its up to her to leave her boyfriend for you or not.
But of course, if she doesn't tell you that she has a boyfriend, then you know what kind of girl she is lol
Not sure what you mean by do the math. It is kinda creepy if you're saying that he (at 22) was dating her (at 14).
Even if the love is gone, 7 years is a long time and she's going to need time to recover. If you're looking for something casual it may work, but I doubt she's gonna jump into another LTR right away unless she has issues.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Maybe she has an Atramental sized hole that needs to be filled.
But in all seriousness, I think this girl has already lost interest in me. Which I don't mind because she does seem very self centered and she lives quite a distance from me.
That's unfortunate, I was looking forward to seeing how it would turn out.
Just ask her out, see what she says.
Though, alarm bells ring in my head when you say she's been in a relationship for seven years. That would mean that she was 14 and he was... 22 when they started dating.
TurboLibre
Member
A little follow up. Yesterday was one of the rare times I worked with her and I didn't talk to her at all. Not to be a dick, but she's got on my nerves and I didn't want to say anything stupid. Well apparently it got to her because she texted me later that day asking why I was ignoring her. She claims she doesn't know why I'm mad and wants to talk about it and I'm not sure how to react. My gut reaction is to continue to ignore her, I don't feel like she deserves an explanation at this point, but I'm worried that might make things worse. At the same time I feel like spilling my guts is a bad idea because it's putting her in a position to pretend she was oblivious so I'm the one that somehow looks like a jerk. And I know I'll say some stuff I'll later regret if she tries to play that card.
I just find the whole thing frustrating. Why does she care if I've stopped talking to her? From the way I see it, she's made it clear she's not interested. She's been ignoring me ever since I asked her out and flirting with my friends every chance she gets, so why is she fixated on me? I just don't get her angle.
Johnlenham
Member
Yeah That helps alot, I already have a GF but I always used to struggle with conversations with new people or just long ones with people I do know because I didnt really DO much.
Alot changed after I went traveling as while I was traveling you are forced to talk to people /meet new people.
Now I dont seem to shutup because im always doing stuff thanks to this book.
I highly recommend this book to people who are stuck in a certain mindset, kind of blew my mind.
Devolution
Member
Yeah I just did the math too and got a bit creeped out.
Congrats! Don't plan too much when talking to women or you will get lost when things don't go according to plan. Just try to roll with what she says.
Now that you have a date - take her on an activity date, i.e pool, darts, bowling, or somewhere that you can routinely touch her (which means food places aren't a great idea). If you don't want to be friend zoned, you need to touch her early and often. When you meet her give her a hug. When you open the door for her, touch her back... etc. If she reciprocates by punching your arm or touching your chest when you make her laugh then you are golden.
Set up a 2nd date before you leave that night if you think things are going well. Don't wait to call her the next day to set up the next one.
So anyone remember calculus girl I was talking about earlier? Glad I moved on via OKCpuid, because I can now pretty much chock calculus girl up as a loss.
Her and the guy both walked into class at the same time 15 minutes late, and she was kind of breathing heavily.....yeah, I think the implications are obvious there.
Her and the guy both walked into class at the same time 15 minutes late, and she was kind of breathing heavily.....yeah, I think the implications are obvious there.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
You sure? Maybe she was just... running. Hopefully.
Either way, they came in at the same time, and late, so it doesn't matter what exactly they were doing or not doing.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Oh well. Better luck with the next girl. I have faith in you, person in some other location in the world anonymously on a computer.
Yep.
I have a date (probably) on Thursday with OKC girl, I'm not worried.
Glorified G
Member
I don't know your whole back story, but if she acted weird when you asked her out, maybe she just wants to be friends. I don't think she was purposely trying to ignore you at the party or anything. She clearly wants some type of relationship with you, just not romantic.
scar tissue
Banned
I've never read the book but try to incorporate the central idea when possible. Found it pretty hard so far. Life just throws too much shit you don't want to do in your face.I highly recommend this book to people who are stuck in a certain mindset, kind of blew my mind.
Does actually reading the book change your perspective on that?
Atramental: You had the right idea with focusing on your real life dating opportunities. Online dating (especially at your age) is mostly time wasting, unless you send messages in bulk.
At age 25+, things might be different.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNePlJpiiGI&feature=g-user-u
These guys are fucking gold. A little google stalking provided me with the info that kingofkong has a new gaf name now, but it still active.
Probably wants to remain anonymous on here, now that he is semi-famous and was on that talk show or something.
Thanks I need to escalate not interested in being friendzoned but isn't the hug when we first meet too much? And now I'm starting to overthink things such as how long it should last etc fuck.
I would think not. She already knows it's a date, I doubt it will be considered too much.
TurboLibre
Member
There's a lot of back story but I can't imagine she just wanted something platonic. I have a lot of platonic girlfriends and none of them act like this. Constant flirting/touching, getting worked up when I mentioned other women, even making plans on stuff just the two of us should do together every time we spoke. She was actually the one that asked me out to begin with, and after the date was still acting overjoyed every time she saw me. It wasn't until I asked her out on a second date did her attitude change.
And really, if she wants to be friends she's doing a piss poor job. She's been very cold towards me all month. I tried numerous times to have random conversations with her and they always devolved into one word answers and long periods of silence. It's cool if she's not into me like that, but she's not even acting like someone I would want to keep as a friend. I don't know what her deal is.
Atramental
Banned
Yeah, I think I'll go back to my initial approach.
Especially after getting this in my inbox today.
vicissitudes
Banned
Johnlenham
Member
Yeah I think it wont really hit home till you read it to be honest.
I read that book and it has some bonkers things in it just because he said yes to stuff he normally would have said no to and you think "well goddamn what have I missed out on?"
I have met some awesome people and done some fun things purely because Ive thought "you know what? fuck it why not"
Example:
Last weekend I went up to see a girl mates Ex, I stayed friends because hes a sound guy and I get on with him well.
He invited me to a night out to a club (ministry of sound for anyone that cares) to see a Progressive House dj (Hernan Cattaneo)
My old self would probably have not even stayed friends but would have also turned the invite down because it was just me and him still up for it by the day of it and I dont really know alot about prog house.
I went and had an awesome time, We bumped into some friends of his there and chatted briefly then we left.
We get back to his and hes got a text saying afterparty? from one of the guys.
Normally id have said nah i need my sleep for saturday, Nope Lets go!
Back in a taxi and arrive at the house.
Meet like 10 new people, ones a DJ, amazing flat.
I get invited to a festival outside of amsterdam at the end of march!
Got them all on FB now and been chatting too them since.
Ive not looked into it properly yet but I mean if I wanted I could potentially go with them.
None of this would have happened if I had just said "Nah cant afford it" as a weak excuse to get out of going.
Few weeks before that three friends and I gatecrashed a random persons house party (another long story relating to saying yes and being more open minded) and had the co host hitting on me all night (who was stunning might i add)
Obv didnt do anything as I have a GF allready but the ego boost was rather nice!
I also inadvertently end up with loads of odd, funny,random storys, find out about events I wouldn't have known about and get to chat to also sorts of people doing all sorts of things
Trying not to side track this thread too much but yeah I really recommend it to everyone I know now.
scar tissue
Banned
Sounds good, even tho just saying "yes" to everything is going to be hard for me. Thanks to social anxiety, it's not that easy for me to just go somewhere where I know only one person and make a good impression.
Hypereides
Member
Oh, I like this. Some seemingly effective advice I havent really thought of, but in my situation this is VERY Handy.
I wouldn't say this is completely true. However, I would use online dating more as a way to meet local people you would not have been able to meet in real life. I don't bother with anything that's not within 20 miles of me for the most part. I was extremely hesitant to do online dating, and even had a pretty blank OKCupid profile because I was just looking, and debating on whether to fill it in and keep it or not. I went ahead and decided to, and now I already have a date (hopefully). Granted, it hasn't happened yet, but it definitely looks promising.
She's probably just a really insecure sad person, like all trolls that are mean about it. She's rejecting every guy in the world to somehow 'make herself' into a princess. If no guy is good enough for her, she has to be the best, right? She's not for real either way.
The actual rate of progression probably varies quite a bit but this is so obviously important. Girls are just people except unlike guys [err, scratch that, it's just different] they have barriers that need broken just like that article says. I push more now, and so far things have worked out, but I'm thinking I'm still too conservative.
Not to get all alpha douchebagish, but there's definitely an attitude among 'weaker men' (WHO CAN AND DO CHANGE / BECOME STRONGER) that this sort of escalation is tantamount to rape. I can't imagine those guys ever getting out of the friend zone.
You can't wait for the other person to break through their barriers, you have to break through your own and then break through theirs, then you are the master.
Yet, desperation is most certainly not the key. It's a tricky concept but I really understand it now. Maybe the difference is you're confident, she's attracted to you, then you press. If you press before you attract that's the old school 'needy guy' thing.
Finally an update on my situation. Cute little shy Asian I'd dated messaged me back in such a submissive and interested way that I feel like she's waving me in the runway already.
This is a great philosophy in life generally and it'll change your life. Not just the rationale, but DOING STUFF, being spontaneous. It'll make you powerful and you'll learn a lot.
It's just a friendly hug, you aren't groping her or anything. And it's a perfectly acceptable way to greet someone (especially a girl) which is non threatening and breaks down their personal space bubble right away.
The hug shouldn't last more than a second or so. Whatever you do, don't overthink it - your actions will appear stiff and forced. Imagine you're hugging your dad after not seeing him for a few months or something.
Biff
Member
How old are you? If you are 25 or older, use Plenty of Fish.
There will be a slew of posts beneath me saying otherwise; ignore them and just trust me.
PflargBlarg
Member
I only recommend against it because I'm a web developer and their website looks like ass
I don't know anything about how well it actually works.
I'm over 25. I might just try that too. OkCupid seems to ask a lot of questions just to make a profile.
hawkshockey11
Banned
Decided to dorm next year.
Me + forced contact + knowledge from this thread = yada yada
Can't wait.
Me + forced contact + knowledge from this thread = yada yada
Can't wait.
I only recommend against it because I'm a web developer and their website looks like ass
I don't know anything about how well it actually works.
Respeck_Knuckles.gif
That was the one thing that bugged me about PoF more than anything.
Feh, try both. I'm over 25 and I'm using OKC with success. But I have a PoF account too.
Ignore that man and trust me. You can copy paste elements of your profile across both anyways.
(but yeah, PoF has more older women, OKC has a lot of younger girls, but you're a dude you can handle younger girls if you are willing to put up with their BS. Also helps if you look good)
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