Nice one. Weird situation though.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
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Nice one. Weird situation though.
OrangeGrayBlue
Member
I'm having trouble understanding what the issue is here... you think that she's lying about being busy?
In my experience, if you tried making plans twice (as it seems you have) and she gives you the "Oh, sorry, I'm busy" response both times without offering an alternative time slot that works for her, she's hoping you'll take a hint without having to outright reject you. If she actually wants to hang out and is actually busy, she'll let you know but then inquire if you're free at a time that she's also free. If she simply says "She's busy", it's her way of saying no while trying not to hurt your feelings.
You're worried about it too much even if she flakes on you, even if she decides she doesn't want to date you you're still worrying about it too much. But I know that feel. Try to distract yourself, get involved in other things, message other girls out future weeks or something.
I'm trying to do that, but yeah, I can't stop thinking about it. It does seem weird that she would just avoid an entire site just to avoid one person though, that's what the ignore/block button is for...
ChiTownBuffalo
Either I made up lies about the Boston Bomber or I fell for someone else's crap. Either way, I have absolutely no credibility and you should never pay any attention to anything I say, no matter what the context. Perm me if I claim to be an insider
Talking to my cousin, she was asking me if I wanted to be fixed up with one of her college friends.
I laughed it off saying that, I live so far from SoCal and that I'm almost 10 years older than her college friends.
Browsing through her college photos. I recognized a porn star. Shoulda looked at the photos first.
I laughed it off saying that, I live so far from SoCal and that I'm almost 10 years older than her college friends.
Browsing through her college photos. I recognized a porn star. Shoulda looked at the photos first.
You're very bitter and have much to work on. Try venturing into the physical work of dating.
This is wrong, really wrong.
Sanky Panky
Banned
It's never to late. How far away do you live from there? Getting set up is an offer you can't refuse.
In other news, certain girls love a good "story." I work in backroom operations, while other employees deal with customers. I needed more info on a particular file, and I got this girl in trouble with her manager. She called me up to walk her through the file, and with a little extra empathy, we kept talking and talking. She's a romantic type, so right now I'm sure she loves the idea of a long-distance love that began at work. It's close to a Meg Ryan movie.
She has sent me pics, has asked all the "dating" questions, and has even offered to meet half way from her city and mine. I'll keep her around since she has family living close to my city, and I can drop by her town on my way to Miami. HOWEVER, she is a sunday school teacher at church, sings at the church choir, and is probably a gaf-sweetheart (believes in YEC).
I'm just thinking if she gets loose, the sex would be amazing.
Etrian Oddity
Member
lol damn
So guys, foreplay/roleplay is definitely my primary cockblock... I'm just not into it.
More often than not I'm a straight-forward no nonsense kind of guy. A lot of the time it really feels like I have to dumb myself down just to get some pussy, and I'm not willing to do that.
Any thoughts? Should I change? Or should I look for more girls who'll err... accept my rigidness?
Sanky Panky
Banned
Don't you ever just want to feel up your girl's body, touch around? That is enough to be considered foreplay. Make out with the girl longer, while touching.
Sure you might find a no frills and thrills girl, but that would be no different than rubbing one out yourself. It's even more cumbersome to stick it in a hole, if you are not truly enjoying everything the female body has to offer.
The majority of girls will probably be disappointed by you. You might want to find something you enjoy.
Eh, physical intimacy isn't what I was getting at.
Then explain what you are getting at in detail.
Ether_Snake
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Damn I love Brazilian girls, and it's such a shame there are so few where I live.
I met two Brazilian girls in my life, one back home and one on vacation just now. These girls are direct, they DON'T play stupid games. This girl I met recently was incredibly friendly and almost initiated everything. Never did a girl hugged me as hard as that, burried her face in my shoulder, inhaled from my neck like I was a cocain, and went from kissing to french kissing after holding hands for less than two minutes.
If the situation had been slightly different things would have gone much further, but it wasn't possible for various reasons.
And now she is back home, and I will be too soon, and we might never see each other again, even if we both wanted to spend more time togheter.
I'm going back to the cold north american women who play dumb ass games and act like they're always being watched by the whole world.
I live on the wrong side of the planet!
I met two Brazilian girls in my life, one back home and one on vacation just now. These girls are direct, they DON'T play stupid games. This girl I met recently was incredibly friendly and almost initiated everything. Never did a girl hugged me as hard as that, burried her face in my shoulder, inhaled from my neck like I was a cocain, and went from kissing to french kissing after holding hands for less than two minutes.
If the situation had been slightly different things would have gone much further, but it wasn't possible for various reasons.
And now she is back home, and I will be too soon, and we might never see each other again, even if we both wanted to spend more time togheter.
I'm going back to the cold north american women who play dumb ass games and act like they're always being watched by the whole world.
I live on the wrong side of the planet!
Baconsaurus Rex
Member
In what way? Initiating contact and her saying that she likes you? My girlfriend did that.
FortunateSon
Banned
Same my ex girl was pretty straight up.
Yeah like that. I think it's very refreshing to have a girl do that. You just get tired of the games that some girls like to play.
I was just hyped about this and it's disappointing, that's why I'm like this about this. Unless you were saying she is wrong.
Still nothing by the way.
Whenever I see a good looking girl the first thoughts are:
"she's probably taken"
"she's in a completely different world"
"I got nothing to offer her"
"What would I even say?"
How do you guys manage to get past all that? Are your personalities and mental states wired completely different from mine that those thoughts don't even enter your mind? Is it because you are all so confident?
"she's probably taken"
"she's in a completely different world"
"I got nothing to offer her"
"What would I even say?"
How do you guys manage to get past all that? Are your personalities and mental states wired completely different from mine that those thoughts don't even enter your mind? Is it because you are all so confident?
[KoRp]Jazzman
Member
My biggest pet peeve about these threads (ive been reading since the start of the first one) is exactly that, its how ridiculously negative most of you are.
Look I am in the exact same boat you are Napoleon (and I mean exact, I am 26 as well and never even kissed a woman yet), and believe me when I say it sucks, but is it really that bad? The reason most of us are in the situations we are in is not because we are ugly/short/overweight or whatever you think it might be, its because we havent done any work to get what we want. The vast majority of you guys seem to think youre just entitled to getting a girlfriend because thats how the world works, and that women should look past our anti-social behaviour problems and other maladies. Then when we actually do find someone who likes us, we end up fing things up and either push them away or friendzone ourselves (I did this spectacularly well myself) and it just reinforces your negativity.
But good god it is by no means the end of the world, no matter if you are in your 20s or your 30s or whatever it might be. Work on yourself before you even think about going after women and while it will only get easier for you, it still wont guarantee you anything. A year and a half ago I was 310lbs and had zero confidence and thought if I was just in shape everything would be easy. I started biking and eating right, and dropped down to 230lbs 6 months later and thought well, the ladies are going to be lining up for this guy. And guess what, I was still shy and any confidence I thought I had gained didnt do me a lick of good because I had done nothing to work on my actual problems.
But you learn from this stuff, and you keep trying and getting yourself out there and you know what, things get better. Appreciate what you have (friends, family, school, jobs, cars whatever) and learn to laugh at yourself and hopefully you will realize that being resentful and bitter do nothing to help you. Spend your days smiling and laughing and people will gravitate towards you.
Thanks as well for all the advice everyone, it really is appreciated for those of us who arent smart enough to know what we are doing wrong.
/rant
"she's probably taken"
Maybe, but what if she isn't?
"she's in a completely different world"
Shes a regular warmblooded human being with flaws like you are. Your worlds are the same.
"I got nothing to offer her"
How do you know that, exactly? Can you read minds?
"What would I even say?"
Hi.
Go watch SimplePickup. Those guys have some seriously good advice on this. They cover all of this. But to shorten it, that's bitch butterflies. Get over it by going right up to the girl, no time to worry or over think. Talk about anything. Rather than ask questions, turn it into statements. So rather than "Where do you work?" guess she works. "I bet you work in the fashion industry". It makes it more fun and less interview like. But yeah, go watch their advice videos.
The Last Wizard
Member
So there's this girl in my pre-calc class who I want to ask out, would it be weird to address her by her name considering the fact we've never spoke?
Milking the intro: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1NTe0c-jZs&feature=youtu.be&t=4m25s
Can some people please try this and report results? I would but I wont be having a social life for the next week.
Fast forward to 4m 25s if timed link doesn't work
Can some people please try this and report results? I would but I wont be having a social life for the next week.
Fast forward to 4m 25s if timed link doesn't work
[KoRp]Jazzman;35628652 said:
Agree with ya there bud, there's no reason to hate yourself/resent anyone at any given time, before, during, or after a relationship even if it ends badly. It may be the hardest thing to do, but forgiving those around you and just accepting bad beats and keeping moving forward is really important. When a woman sees a guy who can laugh at himself/has a positive personality and isn't hung up on all the little things, chances are it will paint yourself in a positive light rather than some negative and depressed guy. The latter will likely attract someone in a similar situation, and it will just be one big ol pity party. Not saying you have to have rainbows shooting out your ass at all times, but positivity/positive thinking goes a longgggg way.
"Hey! Shaniqua, right? What's up?"
Napoleonthechimp
Member
You bet, it's what happens when you spend your entire life being the object of fun. It tends to warp your mind quite a bit. I am seriously tempted to travel to Peru and take Ayahuasca in an effort to disassemble my entire personality, and hopefully come out of it a better person. Because at this point I think the only thing I'm capable of is using women but I don't really want to hurt anyone, so I literally spend the vast majority of my time by myself.
I also have no idea what you mean by the physical work of dating.
What are the odds of a very good looking girl not already been spoken for? I'd imagine having looks opens you up to daily pursuits by others.
Are worlds are not the same. She probably doesn't enjoy the things I do, has her own circle of friends and people, and wouldn't want to be associated with someone with great mental difficulties.
Ah yes, Hi, I've said that before. Nothing ever happens after it.
Funny, I seem to be somewhat of the opposite of a lot of the bitter/negative people in the thread who are usually lashing out with those thoughts at others or blame everyone but themselves.
I can only blame myself.
My two cents for you, Combine.
The Last Wizard
Member
Gotcha, just gotta wait till the next class now.
1. Yeah, my mental blocks are tough things that don't leave me be. Probably that whole avoidant personality disorder that was brought up in the other thread. I just don't know how to take the chance. I freeze everytime. (from ADP Wiki: "unwillingness to become involved with people unless certain of being liked" - "excessive preoccupation with being criticized or rejected in social situations" and "avoidance of social or occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact because of fear of criticism, disapproval, or rejection.")
2. The feelings I get are thoughts of inadequacy in terms of what makes me an individual. That there is nothing for me to really be proud of that someone else would take notice of, and I cannot boast or speak fondly of things that no one else will appreciate.
3. I totally agree that I have zero understanding of the kind of body language I am giving off, other than it is probably negative. But then again I am clueless about body language in general. I'm not hunched over, but I imagine I have other tweaks (twitching, shaking hands, etc.) that give me away. As for conversation, well, I am pretty clueless there as well. The only convo's I've had recently are Q&A style things akin to business dealings or whatnot.
PflargBlarg
Member
The odds aren't that bad really. The girl I went out with in January is gorgeous but she doesn't have anyone right now. Of course, she is emotionally unstable at this point, but ehhh?
ThanksVision
Member
Avoid man, find the next girl.
It's not seeing someone as in boyfriend it's more like someone else is trying to get with me she said she wants to hang out with me but not in that way because of the other guy getting jealous. There has to be a chance right?
C'mon man. Don't do this to yourself. If you like her more than a friend, you know what the end results will be. If you want to be her friend, be one. Just don't go under false pretenses.
Woody Invincible
Banned
I know I should say don't put it on a pedestal or get oneitis, but really, I know exactly how you feel. When I was online dating, even though I knew there was many more women out there, it still hurt my ego real bad when shit like this happened.
Pretty much. Her not even logging in was really "wtf" though, as she's logged in plenty of times on PoF (I don't have an account there though). I'm not sure what the deal is there. It seems silly to not log in to a site just to avoid one person. Maybe she just ragequit OKC or something, or lost her password, who knows.
I know what you're saying but I'm almost certain if I can get a day with her she will change her mind. I just need to make it sound like it's no big deal, maybe something like ' don't get ahead of yourself it doesn't mean we can't hang out together?'
Hey, it's your life, your choices. Either way someone is going to get hurt. You, her, or her boyfriend. I'd just say it's a bad idea. Find another girl where things are less complicated.
Hylian... you're getting borderline creepy/stalkerish with watching when she logs on etc.
Take a step back and relax. Sorry to say, she may just not be interested in you.
It's developing into oneitis and to be honest I would rather push it until she just adamantly gives a flat out no otherwise I have a feeling it will stick in my mind, happened before and I just couldn't get rid of that feeling of what if for a long time. I just need to know the best way to try and get something going, should I suggest a place or just do what I posted above and see what happens?
Well I'm done doing that anyway, so it doesn't really matter now. I just kind of stumbled on the PoF profile when searching there otherwise.
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