Why are you of the position that you need to respond back?
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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Why are you of the position that you need to respond back?
Omegasquash
Member
"Fall in a well and die" would be my recommendation.
hawkshockey11
Banned
How long ago did you break up? And who did it?
March 23rd. She broke up with me.
Dude. I would just straight out ask wtf she wanted. Does she just want to be your friend? If you're ok with that, then cool, otherwise I would never talk to her again. :/
Yeah, I wasn't specific enough. I meant, if a girl isn't giving you the attention you seek, don't fucking touch her! Its creepy!
luckyboyceo
Member
Branson, she's toying with you.
She didn't like the fact that you were able to delete her from facebook, because it signaled to her that you were fine with not being involved in her life anymore. You were severing one of your last ties to her. It got under her skin and I think now she's trying to do whatever she can so that you remember she exists (hence the draw something plays). Honestly, it seems selfish and immature to me. I don't think this is a case of her wanting you back romantically, it's just her trying to fill a self-serving void.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Ignore her, or think a witty reply and ignore her.
TheSchwab_7
Member
Just ignore it and move on. She broke up with you, so she should at least expect you to delete her from FB and not contact her. Maybe she legit misses you, or maybe she is just craving attention that you used to provide for her.
Perfect analysis.
I just hate the fact that I get an auto-boner when it happens, I feel like the girl is going to turn around and smack me because of it. Grinding doesn't really exist here in Brazil, surprisingly, girls only grind on their boyfriends because they think it's slutty to do so on random strangers. Anyways, I'd rather dance one of the three dances you listed, even though I suck at it, because it's way more fun to spin the girl and then bring her in close. Best of both worlds, imo, you move around a lot and have fun then you bring it in close and make it intimate/sexier.
TheSchwab_7
Member
Well I'm hanging out with the same girl for the fifth straight day today. We met last Thursday. We've also spent the night at each others places every time as well. Part of me feels like it's too good to be true, but we just click. Like last night we nerded out while watching harry potter.
The thing that sucks is that I move out of my dorm this Friday and go back home, so she'll be about an hour away. She wants to come and see me, and for me to come and see her over summer. She also mentioned how we both can make it work. I most definitely do want to see what happens with her.
But we've only known each other for five days. I don't want to put all my faith in this girl I just met, only for her to meet someone else over summer break. I'm thinking of just going with the flow, and if we're still going on dates and talking when I come back for school then I can start thinking about a relationship.
The thing that sucks is that I move out of my dorm this Friday and go back home, so she'll be about an hour away. She wants to come and see me, and for me to come and see her over summer. She also mentioned how we both can make it work. I most definitely do want to see what happens with her.
But we've only known each other for five days. I don't want to put all my faith in this girl I just met, only for her to meet someone else over summer break. I'm thinking of just going with the flow, and if we're still going on dates and talking when I come back for school then I can start thinking about a relationship.
SpectreFire
Member
Well, down to one potential date now.
Pretty sure the other one got cold feet. What did I tell ya low-G?
Pretty sure the other one got cold feet. What did I tell ya low-G?
have you actually made a move on this girl? she may just think your her gay best friend.
Beer Monkey
Member
If a girl broke up with me and sent me a Draw Something request, I'd draw a big hairy dick.
disappeared
Banned
Hey buds,
Hopefully this is the last time I have to ask for suggestions/advice here, because if I can't get this to work then I'm quitting the game for a good long while to focus on other things.
I met her several months ago, albeit briefly. It was at a party, but she left before I got to talk much to her. Flash forward to last weekend, where we were both at the wedding of a mutual friend. She was a bridesmaid. Well, the evening of the wedding we partied at a house and ended up getting very friendly. We snuck into the bathroom and fooled around, then slept together the following night. She's a great, level-headed gal and we seem to get along wonderfully. Her attitude and the way she carries herself is nothing like I've seen in the psycho girls I've known before.
But the problem is that she left last Wednesday back to her home, two provinces over (canada, SK to BC). I've heard from her sister and her friend (the bride) that she seems to like me a lot. She's even spelled it out in the few texts we've sent back and forth since then.
But I'm at a crossroads. Obviously all I can do at this point is be her friend, and see her at Christmas the next time she's down to visit...
But I'm going to university in the fall here and I feel like I'm going to be totally locked in where I am.
I just feel all fucked up about it. I don't know whether I should just be her friend, cut her loose, or do something stupid like move out there. Maybe my first mistake was falling for her after we slept together.
I want to be there for her and be her friend, but to see her only a couple of times a year? That's going to be torture.
I don't know where to go with this at all.
Hopefully this is the last time I have to ask for suggestions/advice here, because if I can't get this to work then I'm quitting the game for a good long while to focus on other things.
I met her several months ago, albeit briefly. It was at a party, but she left before I got to talk much to her. Flash forward to last weekend, where we were both at the wedding of a mutual friend. She was a bridesmaid. Well, the evening of the wedding we partied at a house and ended up getting very friendly. We snuck into the bathroom and fooled around, then slept together the following night. She's a great, level-headed gal and we seem to get along wonderfully. Her attitude and the way she carries herself is nothing like I've seen in the psycho girls I've known before.
But the problem is that she left last Wednesday back to her home, two provinces over (canada, SK to BC). I've heard from her sister and her friend (the bride) that she seems to like me a lot. She's even spelled it out in the few texts we've sent back and forth since then.
But I'm at a crossroads. Obviously all I can do at this point is be her friend, and see her at Christmas the next time she's down to visit...
But I'm going to university in the fall here and I feel like I'm going to be totally locked in where I am.
I just feel all fucked up about it. I don't know whether I should just be her friend, cut her loose, or do something stupid like move out there. Maybe my first mistake was falling for her after we slept together.
I want to be there for her and be her friend, but to see her only a couple of times a year? That's going to be torture.
I don't know where to go with this at all.
Hmm. Well for one if I were you I'd try to analyze why the other got cold feet and figure that out, but don't think about any negative aspect of yourself. Figure out what's wrong with -them- (wrong meaning, why didn't that work better). Figuring that stuff out always helped me.
Secondly right now I'm in pretty much the same boat. I was gonna write a 'life story' type post detailing every situation with every girl I've been dating but the short version is I'm really only seeing one girl I'm actually at all 'interested' in and it's just soso, and even if that falls through that's just life, I can deal.
I recognize the other girls just don't work for me, or aren't even working for themselves right now (2 of them are down due to their own mental problems, and apparently aren't dating at all now).
Again, good and important advice from Chinner. If you're bed with a girl you like at the very least you'd better be cuddling her real close and progressing from thighs, boobs, kissing, rubbing, naked boobs, so on. You make your intentions clear and it feels good.
If you're doing that then good on you. One hour apart isn't too bad for a long distance relationship, I know people that pull that every weekend without issue.
Five days in a row seems crazy to me though. Just because everyone I know has jobs and does things. I've only ever done daily stuff with a girl when they were friends, not relationship / dating.
All I know is stories. You can't do biweekly trips? I don't know how many miles we're talking about here but even extreme long distance relationships can work if you're dedicated to really doing a ton of shit to make it work, which can be worth it.
Skype dates (with video) also help with long distance relationships.
disappeared
Banned
It's about 1800km, or 1100 miles.
I would love nothing more than to try to make trips to see her, but that depends on two things:
1) if she even wants me making that effort in the first place. I need to find out, shortly down the road here, what her thoughts on me are, and if she even wants anything in-depth.
2) money.
TheSchwab_7
Member
Yeah we've had sex four times.
My schedule has been pretty open since I'm just studying for the one final I have, and she's been on call this week for her work, but hasn't been called in yet.
Etrian Oddity
Member
Oh well then you're golden, ponyboy.
I hate trying to tell if a girl is friendly or interested...
Yeah, yeah, I know, it never gets easier
There are lots of subtle signs: Playing with their hair, licking their lips, you can sometimes tell by the way they look at you, whether they touch you back, are they laughing at everything you say. Of course these dont mean anything in isolation but if you see repeated signs and they are frequent enough then you can have a pretty good go at guessing whether they are interested.
To show how oblivious I am: Totally spaced on signals when the girl I went on a date with earlier today playing then sucking on her hair (we've already been intimate up to but minus sex so it's no surprise), but she must have been thinkin some things.
Now that I think of it I see lots of girls sucking on their hair around me... I'm blind.
God, dealing with people who just can't accept that there are other methods than using pua is a real pain in the ass. Didn't help that it sort of was a class mate of mine so I can't just ignore him either. Anyone else been in similar situations? We're basically "doing it wrong" by not using lines for practice and the whole letting women chase us thing instead of the other way around. That way we never learn "any *real* skills" apparently.
[KoRp]Jazzman
Member
Etrian Oddity
Member
If only it were that easy. Girls do that with me and I ask them out shortly thereafter, and they give me the "can we just be friends?" line. :\
Shalashaska161
Member
[KoRp]Jazzman;37456891 said:
Triple high five for Sask bros. And good luck to you disappeared, don't really have any advice for ya but hope things turn out alright.
Anyways, anyone got a decent idea for a second date? Meeting up with her in the evening in a couple days, and I'm looking for something a little cooler than just a movie or something, but I'm not really coming up with anything.
Laser tag. Boom.
Shalashaska161
Member
Genius. Thanks bud.
Edit: Bah, stupid place is only open til 9 and I"m meeting her at 8:30. Back to the drawing board.
shanshan310
Member
All I can think of is that letter a girl received from that guy saying 'how could you reject me? You were playing with your hair and stuff, which means you must like me!'
SpectreFire
Member
I do try and figuring out, and at the end of the day, the best I explain it is that shit just happens. I'm at the point where i realize that none of that matters all that much anymore. If something was supposed to happen, it'd happen. Putting every little thing I do under a microscope is just going to make me more paranoid.
That is exactly what I feel right now. I would love nothing more than to find that someone special, it'd be great, but at the same time, I realize that I'm still incredibly young and regardless of how it turns out, life moves on, I can deal with it. It's just the thought that I don't want to deal with it anymore that bugs me the most.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
I thought I knew what rock bottom was 4 years ago when I was beyond redemption but man I was wrong. I've spent all this time transforming my body, my mind, my image, my life and yet here I am in my early 20s and never even kissed a girl. I mean my personality may not be amazing but it's nowhere near bad enough to warrant this kind of isolation. I can't even remember the last time a girl looked in my direction or someone invited me to do something with them. I guess I just gotta accept that I'm a hideous monster. Feels bad man, feels real bad.
Vermillion
Banned
Mind giving us a picture? Or hell, PM if you prefer.
EDIT:
Better yet... where do you live, and how do you think you look, regardless of how you believe others view you?
perhaps you look too good (god-like)?
anyways, have a girl telling (nearly begging) me to go over to her house after some heavy makeout sessions.. thing is i'm not very interested in her and don't want to take her virginity (which she did specify) :/.
Z
ZombieFred
Unconfirmed Member
Well I had a successful first date after I met a girl on the weekend and we met up again the day after to see how things go. Shes got many traits I respect and weve got quite a fair few things in common and we felt very relaxed on the day out. She had a miscarriage last month and is still grieving a bit but shes very strong and I already said to her that I would like to take some things slow so she can get through this patch more easily and calm and she completely agree.
Shes had some bad exs in her past but I dont judge people anything like that but shes a very attractive and nice woman who loves many of the same things and got great character. We did kiss and was very flirting in the date and she texted back saying she feels a connection and she really would love to do it again. Ive already told her that I dont want to settle down or anything in my future until I am in my late 20s and just want to enjoy myself and have a blast with someone else and shes along the same waves. She does some modelling work when she can but she's currently unemployed and seeking work, and theres nothing wrong with that is there?
Shes had some bad exs in her past but I dont judge people anything like that but shes a very attractive and nice woman who loves many of the same things and got great character. We did kiss and was very flirting in the date and she texted back saying she feels a connection and she really would love to do it again. Ive already told her that I dont want to settle down or anything in my future until I am in my late 20s and just want to enjoy myself and have a blast with someone else and shes along the same waves. She does some modelling work when she can but she's currently unemployed and seeking work, and theres nothing wrong with that is there?
[KoRp]Jazzman;37456891 said:
Quad Sask high fives! Wishing you the best of luck. Long distance can be tough, but take it for what it is and enjoy it while it lasts, whatever form it may take. In a similar position as you Disappeared. My oldest brother did something similar to you - him taking classes in Sask, GF (Now wife with 2 kids) at UBC, but they played it casual for several years then made it work out.
As for the second date Shalashaska, try what was mentioned earlier about preparing a meal together. Talk it over with her and find something you'd both enjoy and prepare it. Shop for the ingredients, cook everything up, and have a nice romantic dinner - something you can both enjoy as a couple and share afterwards. Sit down and watch a movie after or I'd say have a nice walk through the park - but at 830ish or later it may be too late for that. GL!
As for laser tag: Petrie knows what's up. Plan that later.
I never kissed anyone till I was 24, I know that feel bro. Make sure you seem happy and smile a lot.
Quick update on me and my okcupid girl:
Weekend at my place (including her meeting my parents) was amazing.
She loved my family, they love her back, she played with my dog as if it was her own, we made out like, everywhere, played video games (we went to a shop beforehand and she could decide between me picking up the new SSX or Gears of War 3. She chose Gears!!!) together, watched the "Redline" Blu Ray and had fantastic sex.
We really fit together, are all lovey dovey and want to make this last as long as possible.
I feel amazing guys!
Also, now a quick story on how to NOT try and get your girl:
So she has two dogs back in America. She made a written contract with an ex-boyfriend (who she had a clean breakup with) for him to bring her the dogs in Germany. She gave him 1000$ beforehand for the plane tickets. Now 2 days ago he suddenly says "I don't care about your dogs, don't care about you and you will never see your money again."
So she calls the guy's sister, tells her what happened and that she'll sue him because he broke a written contract AND is stealing money from her.
The sister says she'll talk to her brother and if he keeps being an asshole, she will bring the dogs personally.
Now here comes the fun part: The next day the guy calls my girlfriend, tells her he will bring her the dogs and.... he wants to be with her again. Like, in a relationship.
The guy basically STOLE HER MONEY, told her SHE MEANS SHIT TO HIM and then 24 hours later TRIED TO BE HER BOYFRIEND AGAIN.
We both could not stop laughing.
Weekend at my place (including her meeting my parents) was amazing.
She loved my family, they love her back, she played with my dog as if it was her own, we made out like, everywhere, played video games (we went to a shop beforehand and she could decide between me picking up the new SSX or Gears of War 3. She chose Gears!!!) together, watched the "Redline" Blu Ray and had fantastic sex.
We really fit together, are all lovey dovey and want to make this last as long as possible.
I feel amazing guys!
Also, now a quick story on how to NOT try and get your girl:
So she has two dogs back in America. She made a written contract with an ex-boyfriend (who she had a clean breakup with) for him to bring her the dogs in Germany. She gave him 1000$ beforehand for the plane tickets. Now 2 days ago he suddenly says "I don't care about your dogs, don't care about you and you will never see your money again."
So she calls the guy's sister, tells her what happened and that she'll sue him because he broke a written contract AND is stealing money from her.
The sister says she'll talk to her brother and if he keeps being an asshole, she will bring the dogs personally.
Now here comes the fun part: The next day the guy calls my girlfriend, tells her he will bring her the dogs and.... he wants to be with her again. Like, in a relationship.
The guy basically STOLE HER MONEY, told her SHE MEANS SHIT TO HIM and then 24 hours later TRIED TO BE HER BOYFRIEND AGAIN.
We both could not stop laughing.
Z
ZombieFred
Unconfirmed Member
And an update on this and got a text saying she wants to be with me a lot and says she's got a connection and wants her to be my princess. I said I am not anything commited or not to rush things and she now says she wishe she didn't went on that date. No way I am going to make any mistakes again but damn she was hot.
That sucks. The place here is open till midnight, has a bar, and is very adult oriented, making it a great date option.
Something to keep in mind for the future anyways.
Gf and I are going to go check out the "indoor trampoline park" tonight. Should be interesting.
http://buffalo.skyzonesports.com/Home.aspx
What is this Sask you speak of?
hawkshockey11
Banned
That place is really fun. Been there once and loved it.
So yesterday, there was a girl, truly interested in me. I happened to be backstage at an concert and she and her friends stood outside the backstage area for like 1 hour, drinking and dancing to the music. Eventually, i started a conversation with them. Almost instantly, they went around to the backstage entrance, and managed to go in. However, her two fat ugly friends joined her to my annoyance. Shortly after me and her started talking backstage. A guy, who she knew (he was a complete creep actually) basically, asked he what she was doing in there etc. I did not hear him telling her to leave (but apparently he had) and i was surprised to hear her say "well, maybe we meet again"...So anyway.
5 mins later, she shows up on the other side of the fence, were we first met. Now, we flirt a little bit, and i tell her that i want her without those 2 fat friends. Whereby, they intervene telling me, they are just protecting her...Anyhow, i convince her to try to get backstage again...
Once in again, that guy is at her again. The guy was not even a guard, just a douche-bag obviously white-knighting her. Which i by the way pointed out, which made her laugh a lot. Anyway, this time she told me, "Why dont you come out from the backstage and meet me"...This i did...Once, i was outside the backstage area, that guy came out behind me. He literally, stood there, watching me and her talk...Eventually, he asked me "Can i talk with her for a moment"...Now, i was kinda cocky, so i went back backstage because i thought, she would come back or something.
Now, the concert was by this point over,making the whole backstage area messy, and it was truly crowded and bad lighting all over the area (this was outdoors). So, realizing, i should never let her out of my sight I told my friends who i was with, that ill go and pee, actually, instead i walked around the area, looking for her. To my despair, she was impossible to find.
However,after some detective-work today, i found her facebook. Looking at her wall, it is hardly ever updating. Last time, someone wrote there, was in early march.
Now, i added her as a friend there but she has not replied. However, i do not look forward for the moment, when she realizes its me. It will be really hard to not look like a creep or a looser.
Let me just finish by saying that, the guy who was creepy. Truly looked like a creep and actually, his face and stare, haunts me still.
How the hell, do i not make this awkward when i finally get in touch with her, on the chat or something.
I cannot believe, i did not just take her number, i literally had several chances to do it...Instead, i played it cool, but in the end, me and her lost each other in the crowd...
5 mins later, she shows up on the other side of the fence, were we first met. Now, we flirt a little bit, and i tell her that i want her without those 2 fat friends. Whereby, they intervene telling me, they are just protecting her...Anyhow, i convince her to try to get backstage again...
Once in again, that guy is at her again. The guy was not even a guard, just a douche-bag obviously white-knighting her. Which i by the way pointed out, which made her laugh a lot. Anyway, this time she told me, "Why dont you come out from the backstage and meet me"...This i did...Once, i was outside the backstage area, that guy came out behind me. He literally, stood there, watching me and her talk...Eventually, he asked me "Can i talk with her for a moment"...Now, i was kinda cocky, so i went back backstage because i thought, she would come back or something.
Now, the concert was by this point over,making the whole backstage area messy, and it was truly crowded and bad lighting all over the area (this was outdoors). So, realizing, i should never let her out of my sight I told my friends who i was with, that ill go and pee, actually, instead i walked around the area, looking for her. To my despair, she was impossible to find.
However,after some detective-work today, i found her facebook. Looking at her wall, it is hardly ever updating. Last time, someone wrote there, was in early march.
Now, i added her as a friend there but she has not replied. However, i do not look forward for the moment, when she realizes its me. It will be really hard to not look like a creep or a looser.
Let me just finish by saying that, the guy who was creepy. Truly looked like a creep and actually, his face and stare, haunts me still.
How the hell, do i not make this awkward when i finally get in touch with her, on the chat or something.
I cannot believe, i did not just take her number, i literally had several chances to do it...Instead, i played it cool, but in the end, me and her lost each other in the crowd...
Slayer-33
Liverpool-2
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