Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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Bro you're overthinking everything and it is kind of creepy you are sleeping with her shirt and have a pair of her underwear
It's not my fault she left it here. I put it inside the closet now lol! I didn't even comment it when she wanted me to keep it. I were just thinking "why" haha.

Anyway, when I say I sleep with her shirt, it's not actually with me, it's just besides my bed on all of my other stuff.

But I guess it's good im not coming off as desperate to her and that I have all of my own projects to concentrate on.
 
Anastacio, how old are you?

I'm glad everything is working out for you so far but you really need to chill out and stop over thinking things. I've posted in the okcupid thread the same exact thing too and instead you go ahead and make it worse by drinking 10 shots, getting blackout drunk and made out with her lesbian friend.

Plus you guys have only been dating for a week and already throwing around the L word? I forsee a lot of issues in the future if you don't cool it. Really just take an easy and enjoy what you have and things will be fine. Don't mess this up.
 
That is literally the gayest and most sophomoric text exchange I have ever read in my entire life. Girls hate passive shit just like anyone else with a working brain.

Some girls actually do go for that nonsense. Some girls want a stupid rose on their second date. Yes, those girls are crazy, and no I'd never do that and if I forced myself I'd feel really weird.

Speaking of crazy girls, is getting friendzoned really being friend zoned if the girl has friend zoned everyone and stopped dating entirely because she's a mental case?

Also, how much is acceptable to be attracted to other women while dating another woman? I'm attracted to all of them...
 
Anastacio, how old are you?

I'm glad everything is working out for you so far but you really need to chill out and stop over thinking things. I've posted in the okcupid thread the same exact thing too and instead you go ahead and make it worse by drinking 10 shots, getting blackout drunk and made out with her lesbian friend.

Plus you guys have only been dating for a week and already throwing around the L word? I forsee a lot of issues in the future if you don't cool it. Really just take an easy and enjoy what you have and things will be fine. Don't mess this up.
I hear you, and I'm not getting drunk anymore. But this relationship I am taking slowly, I think everything went too fast last week, so I know we have to cool it down a bit and thankfully I'm focusing on many of my projects right now. :)

I won't mess this one up.
 
Anastacio, how old are you?

I'm glad everything is working out for you so far but you really need to chill out and stop over thinking things. I've posted in the okcupid thread the same exact thing too and instead you go ahead and make it worse by drinking 10 shots, getting blackout drunk and made out with her lesbian friend.

Plus you guys have only been dating for a week and already throwing around the L word? I forsee a lot of issues in the future if you don't cool it. Really just take an easy and enjoy what you have and things will be fine. Don't mess this up.

I didn't want to be a debbie downer but yeah ... pretty much this. I think pretty much everyone has been in a relationship that burned with the intensity of 1000 suns for 2 months and then completely fizzled out in a week.
 
You're totally right guys. And I want to make sure this do not go fast. That's why I have calmed everything down this week. Yes we txt each other but i'm joking and writing fun stuff more than the "love you, miss you" stuff. It's just here I'm expressing I miss her a lot but it's not like I come off as desperate when I text her. :)
 
It's not my fault she left it here. I put it inside the closet now lol! I didn't even comment it when she wanted me to keep it. I were just thinking "why" haha.

Anyway, when I say I sleep with her shirt, it's not actually with me, it's just besides my bed on all of my other stuff.

But I guess it's good im not coming off as desperate to her and that I have all of my own projects to concentrate on.

Dress your spare pillow in her underwear and shirt. That's what I would do!
 
I don't want to jump in this "overthink everything" boat but just how much are you guys texting? Texting is the fastest way to have a girl lose interest in you and it needs to be used rather carefully. It is one of those things that is still pretty uncharted since the idea of everyone having unlimited texting all the time is still new but, from my own personal experience, overtexting is just as bad as seeing the girl too much. You'll lose out on stuff to talk about when you meet face to face, you can easily smother her with attention and it provides an instant access stream to you. When I first start dating a girl I send her, at max, 2-5 texts a day. Generally they are responses to something and if I don't feel like the text warrants a response it goes ignored.
 
ook i'm confused. i usually don't have problems getting girls. i can talk to them, have fun with them, etc.

but now i met this girl. i really like her... but she is older than me. and i have no idea WHY is making everything so complicated in my head.

ok, she is 28 and i'm 25. i always dated/been with girls younger than me (well except two, but i didn't do anything to "have" them).


so i'm thinking... if i like her, should i be more straightforward?. does she wants to "waste" our time with innocent flirting?. i usually do that, flirt with the girls, make them know i like them, play a little bit a bang. but know i'm not sure how to act.
besides i can't really "read" her... i mean, yes, we talked, laugh a little. we got together a few times outside of work (trips and dinners) but always with friends.
i'm pretty sure she shoulkd know i like her.


and the worst, i already started Hto play my usual game and i'm nervous thinking that it might not work... and i don't wanna blow it up.

ok, i have to resolve this. it's good experience. if it doesn't work it will the next time. i have to learn.i can do it. but i don't know WHAT to do. argh..


sorry for the "typingwhatithinkwithoutmakingreadableforothers" stuff

last post last page and all...
 
I don't want to jump in this "overthink everything" boat but just how much are you guys texting? Texting is the fastest way to have a girl lose interest in you and it needs to be used rather carefully. It is one of those things that is still pretty uncharted since the idea of everyone having unlimited texting all the time is still new but, from my own personal experience, overtexting is just as bad as seeing the girl too much. You'll lose out on stuff to talk about when you meet face to face, you can easily smother her with attention and it provides an instant access stream to you. When I first start dating a girl I send her, at max, 2-5 texts a day. Generally they are responses to something and if I don't feel like the text warrants a response it goes ignored.
This is actually rather interesting to me. And something I wanna think about tonight. But she really do want me to text her and she ask why when I haven't texted for a while.

Another thing is, what if they always ask me out? Should I reject outright or what should I say?
 
This is actually rather interesting to me. And something I wanna think about tonight. But she really do want me to text her and she ask why when I haven't texted for a while.

Another thing is, what if they always ask me out? Should I reject outright or what should I say?

what the heck is wrong with girls asking you out?



lmfao i totally dropped the ball and forgot to get her number as i walked out. just waved and smiled and said goodbye. then on the way home i was liek "oh shit!"

so now i HAVE to go back to work T_T
 
what the heck is wrong with girls asking you out?



lmfao i totally dropped the ball and forgot to get her number as i walked out. just waved and smiled and said goodbye. then on the way home i was liek "oh shit!"

so now i HAVE to go back to work T_T
There's nothing wrong with it but I'm getting tips of not meeting too many times a week in this very thread.
 
This is actually rather interesting to me. And something I wanna think about tonight. But she really do want me to text her and she ask why when I haven't texted for a while.

You need to weed out what girls think they want and what girls actually want. She may think she wants you to smother her with attention and be her prince charming who rides around on a white stallion but that simply isn't the realistic case. It is a lesson I learned hard in my early 20s. I don't know your life and your situation but if she is going like 30 minutes without a text and she sends you one asking why you haven't texted that chick needs to step the fuck off. Generally with a Stage99 clinger like that the best course of action is to back away slowly. Don't completely ignore her (the idea here isn't to be a dick just to lessen your availability) so if she asks why you aren't texting just say you're busy and you'll call her later. Call. Keep it short. I fell into this pitfall with a ton of girls where it was constant communication and eventually we just grew bored of one another after a few months and had to break up. Correctly managing your availability in this "always available" world is a new challenge in the modern dating scene.

-edit-

In response to above. Again the idea is not to be an asshole. Many people mistake intentional distance with "be a douche." That isn't the case. We're just limiting access and making her want to see you more. If you have seen her like 2 days in a row and she tries to make plans for a third it is 100% acceptable and 100% healthy to say you want your own time. If she can't respect that then I've got to be honest she isn't the one.
 
I don't want to jump in this "overthink everything" boat but just how much are you guys texting? Texting is the fastest way to have a girl lose interest in you and it needs to be used rather carefully. It is one of those things that is still pretty uncharted since the idea of everyone having unlimited texting all the time is still new but, from my own personal experience, overtexting is just as bad as seeing the girl too much. You'll lose out on stuff to talk about when you meet face to face, you can easily smother her with attention and it provides an instant access stream to you. When I first start dating a girl I send her, at max, 2-5 texts a day. Generally they are responses to something and if I don't feel like the text warrants a response it goes ignored.

i think this is true and is something i am learning at the moment. texts should be used to arrange your next meeting.
 
This is actually rather interesting to me. And something I wanna think about tonight. But she really do want me to text her and she ask why when I haven't texted for a while.

Another thing is, what if they always ask me out? Should I reject outright or what should I say?

I'll agree with everything Tenks said about the matter of texting. It's important to have your life as well and not spend every waking moment with her. That also includes not texting her all the time. Think of it this way... when you guys do get together, you will have something to talk about.

If they always ask you out, don't you have other things you could be doing? Even if I wanted to spend all my time with my gf I do have responsibilities, friends, and family. It's important to have a balance of your life and slowly ease your significant other into it.

You don't need to reject them for the sake of rejecting them. Do you have other things you need to take care of? If so then just use that excuse.
 
I totally agree with you guys. I don't want to be with my gf ALL THE TIME and it's not like that. I have learned that from my previous relationships as well. The same with txting.

And yes, I have a lot of projects going on. Like getting in touch with old friends, going to the gym and freelance working.
 
Anyone else than me finding waiting for txts back to be torture sometimes?

Or when it turns into world championship in funny one liners?
 
I don't want to jump in this "overthink everything" boat but just how much are you guys texting? Texting is the fastest way to have a girl lose interest in you and it needs to be used rather carefully. It is one of those things that is still pretty uncharted since the idea of everyone having unlimited texting all the time is still new but, from my own personal experience, overtexting is just as bad as seeing the girl too much. You'll lose out on stuff to talk about when you meet face to face, you can easily smother her with attention and it provides an instant access stream to you. When I first start dating a girl I send her, at max, 2-5 texts a day. Generally they are responses to something and if I don't feel like the text warrants a response it goes ignored.

I have unlimited texts. Why not use them?
Texting is impersonal enough to not smother somebody if theyre actually interested.
 
I have unlimited texts. Why not use them?
Texting is impersonal enough to not smother somebody if theyre actually interested.

There's a lot of reasons I can think not to. It doesn't covey emotions, it's shallow and unfulfilling, you can touch a girl or kiss her or hold her of fuck her when you're just communicating in text.

Basically it's like empty calories, at first it might feel good but there really isn't much there.

I think it can hurt friendships in that people interpret those words and sentences differently than what is REAL.
 
Chinner!

I'm curious about your sparkling waistcoat. Does its extreme brightness dazzle and confuse the ladies? While they're still disorientated is that when you make your move?

P.S. I'm just winding you up mate.

i usually make my move once the second roofie is kicking it.
 
Adding a girl on facebook is creepy.

The opposite just happened to me. A completely random blonde 22 year old dropped by our after party on monday night on her way home. I ended up talking with her for a few hours that night. She only knew my first name but found me anyway. It's kinda cute actually. I added similar things to my story last night and there's already circumstantial evidence of it working ;)
 
Adding a girl on facebook is creepy.

The opposite just happened to me. A completely random blonde 22 year old dropped by our after party on monday night on her way home. I ended up talking with her for a few hours that night. She only knew my first name but found me anyway. It's kinda cute actually. I added similar things to my story last night and there's already circumstantial evidence of it working ;)

Yeah I love it when an actually extremely attractive girl stalks me down and adds me on Facebook. Girl thinks and super attractive, intelligent, cute...

...lives ~500 miles away and has a boyfriend grumble grumble.
 
That's exactly what I'm thinking. I just miss her a lot right now. She even told me to keep her shirt and underwear, so I'm sleeping with her shirt beside me.

Anyway, we'll probably meet later in the week.

Oh, I guess it's good that she wanted me to talk with her mother in the phone. And I told her mother I will take good care of her.

Another thing is, I'm also feel a bit stressed trying to build a friendship with her friends and maybe they expect me to go out with her friends sometimes too?

Would it be too much if I drive by tonight and just kiss her and tell her I love her? But it can also come across as desperate. But she also want to feel that I love her after what I did last week.

So our relationship is like a week old.

what the fuck.
 
Yeah I love it when an actually extremely attractive girl stalks me down and adds me on Facebook. Girl thinks and super attractive, intelligent, cute...

...lives ~500 miles away and has a boyfriend grumble grumble.
:lol yeah I know. This one lives about 100 yards away though. Seems like she's in a relationship but I don't care either way. I welcome all kinds of buddies :)
 
Thinks "I'M" super attractive, intelligent, cute. (typo for some reason) See, I think this is how girls line up their 'bail out' rebound boyfriends...
 
I'm guessing he's young, and it's his first real relationship. Quite easy to get all caught up like that, especially during the beginning.

She's my seventh girlfriend, but this is the first time I'm trying to do it right, by taking it slow and doing dates. And I'm 23 so it's easy to also get caught up with it all yeah.
 
Great video.

Went into my local town today, and felt pretty good about myself I must say. I seemed to get some looks from women, so I guess I'm portraying myself better and in a more confident manner (I was getting better in 2010, but doubts in my career in 2011 and a single word completely shattered any improvements I was making).

I've still got to break the overall barrier of approach, and not treat it as something of a big deal. But having said that I've felt a lot better these past couple of days, especially compared to last week. The main thing I want to do is to meet new people in my area, preferably my age (22) or younger (18ish). I really do think it would help me out a lot, and I may potentially meet some girls out of it.

Been unemployed since college last year, but when I eventually do get a full-time job (scared shitless admittedly, especially after worrying about how much time I'll have to achieve my goals), it'll most likely be in London. I'm not far from London (40 min train ride), but I'd preferably like to meet girls who live a bit closer to where I live.

I have been listening to those meditation videos a bit, and I'm going to finally try some NLP later on as well.

Onwards and upwards I suppose!
Good to hear, Xun.

Also, NLP is great. There's different NLP techniques out there but one technique that's really useful, for me personally, is that I ask myself questions that will lead to positive answers.

Here are some of my questions that I ask myself each day:
-What new things can I learn today?
-What is awesome about me?
-How can I improve myself today?
-What steps can I take in order to improve my future self?
-What is great about my current circumstances?
Yeah, hopefully shit will be fine.

The problem is I constantly worry about how much free time I'll have with a job, especially for personal projects/socialising/dating.

I might also try and go to the doctors sometime soon about my OCD, since I've had it since I was about 7 and I've yet to do anything about it (out of fear). It certainly doesn't help matters, and it's probably the cause of all of my issues.

And yeah I'll give NLP a go, since I have nothing to lose and it should help.
 
She's my seventh girlfriend, but this is the first time I'm trying to do it right, by taking it slow and doing dates. And I'm 23 so it's easy to also get caught up with it all yeah.
At least it's the not crazy person you hung out with before :P Don't go to Denmark with this one.

Thinks "I'M" super attractive, intelligent, cute. (typo for some reason) See, I think this is how girls line up their 'bail out' rebound boyfriends...
You might be right. As far as I know, she's leaving town in a few weeks/months and never coming back. Being used for sex is sexy, so I'm okay with that ;) Whatever happens, happens.
 
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