Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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What kind of girls do you want?

I don't think its a "type" problem really.
I don't have a specific type really beyond wanting a pretty girl w/ a pleasant demeanor who likes sports (or will tolerate the fact that I like sports). Other than that I'm not really picky. I'm pretty low maintenance.
The things that attract me to a girl are often completely random and in the moment because that's just how I am. I'm a bit of a space cadet.

It's just more of a problem of figuring out how to get the girls that I'm attracted to.
Somehow most of the girls I end up attracting interest from, I don't really like for whatever reason (hobbies, attitude, body, etc).
IDK what kinda vibe I give off that causes that to happen. But I don't like it. I mean I could humor them, but that'd just waste both of our time.
 
Not exactly Dating-Age, but what's everyone up to tonight?

Wish I was doing something, but sadly no one is up for doing anything.
 
Not exactly Dating-Age, but what's everyone up to tonight?

Wish I was doing something, but sadly no one is up for doing anything.
I was out last night, doing the same tonight. My buddy wasn't feeling well before so I assumed I was going to be going out alone for the first time but others ask me if they could join. So downtown it is.

Was dancing alone on the dance floor last night, pretty much the first time of that as well. Felt really weird for the longest time but I soldiered through it. Got the usual attention even though I wasn't with friends so that felt good and removed some doubt in my mind.

My "point" is, you should go out as well no matter what :)
 
Why are people attracted only to those with great lives?

Because the quality of your life and your disposition are intrinsically linked. When you have a great life, odds are you are a happy, fun, interesting person to be around. If the extent of conversation, obvious or subtle, orbits around the poor quality of your life - then no one wants to be around that.

That's often times why people say in threads like these - get your shit in order, work on becoming a happier person, improving your life before you go out and start looking for a SO. If you look for validation in your SO... well a whole slew of problems come out of that, even if you manage to land one (which you probably wont).
 
I was out last night, doing the same tonight. My buddy wasn't feeling well before so I assumed I was going to be going out alone for the first time but others ask me if they could join. So downtown it is.

Was dancing alone on the dance floor last night, pretty much the first time of that as well. Felt really weird for the longest time but I soldiered through it. Got the usual attention even though I wasn't with friends so that felt good and removed some doubt in my mind.

My "point" is, you should go out as well no matter what :)
True.

I'm just the type of person who would feel a bit intimidated in doing this admittedly.

I'd be out of my comfort zone, but at the same time I doubt I'd have the guts to speak to anyone.
 
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shamelessly stolen from the P90X thread but it applies to pretty much anything in life.
 
I actually figure you're the best person to ask about this...what's the best way to meet a girl who plays video games, or how do you get a girl interested in video games?

I still do not understand the obsession on this and other forums about dating a girl who is "in to" video games. I can understand it is your hobby but I have yet to ever date a girl who played video games with me (outside of an occasional co/op here and there) and it has turned out just fine. In fact I generally play video games to escape all the bullshit of everyday life. Limiting your focus solely to girls who are into video games seems like the absolute dumbest criteria you could present.
 
I still do not understand the obsession on this and other forums about dating a girl who is "in to" video games. I can understand it is your hobby but I have yet to ever date a girl who played video games with me (outside of an occasional co/op here and there) and it has turned out just fine. In fact I generally play video games to escape all the bullshit of everyday life. Limiting your focus solely to girls who are into video games seems like the absolute dumbest criteria you could present.

Yeah I can understand wanting someone who is into the same hobbies as you are, but good lord some guys on here act like finding a chick with a DS is the equivalent of marrying a nobel prize winning supermodel rocket scientist nymphomaniac.
 
I actually tend to be more irritated with girls who make video gaming a defining hobby. Trust me when I say it's a lot more preferable to just find a girl who is open to trying new things and turning her onto a few casual games you can play together rather than looking for a girl who says she is a gamer. Yuck.

I'm considering present company exceptions to the norm of course.
 
Things are going well with this girl I am currently talking to. First date was a about three weeks ago, and I took her to pizza/La Dispute show. Second date was last week, and we went to a great ice cream parlor and then saw a 35mm print of the documentary "Marley." Kino was in full effect; exploring each other's hands and plenty of hand-holding/hugs. She hung on me the whole night. Feels good to have someone who is genuinely interested in me.

Question: What are good ideas for third-date? I'm having a hard time thinking of something fun to go do. I don't want to blow all my good date ideas so early. Keep in mind that I'm probably going to share where I stand with her, and that I'm interested in becoming exclusive with her. I've definitely developed feelings with her, and I'm pretty sure she has feelings with me. I want to tell her before I fall into the friend-zone. If anything, it's just nice being with someone who makes me happy. Past two relationships were such a drag.
 
Things are going well with this girl I am currently talking to. First date was a about three weeks ago, and I took her to pizza/La Dispute show. Second date was last week, and we went to a great ice cream parlor and then saw a 35mm print of the documentary "Marley." Kino was in full effect; exploring each other's hands and plenty of hand-holding/hugs. She hung on me the whole night. Feels good to have someone who is genuinely interested in me.

Question: What are good ideas for third-date? I'm having a hard time thinking of something fun to go do. I don't want to blow all my good date ideas so early. Keep in mind that I'm probably going to share where I stand with her, and that I'm interested in becoming exclusive with her. I've definitely developed feelings with her, and I'm pretty sure she has feelings with me. I want to tell her before I fall into the friend-zone. If anything, it's just nice being with someone who makes me happy. Past two relationships were such a drag.

After two dates? Have you even kissed her yet or just "explored each other's hands"? Slow down with that "make her my girlfriend" talk and let her bring that exclusive stuff up some time in the future.

For a third date, why not dinner and movie at your/her place? Great opportunity to increase the physical intimacy (which is how you stay out of the friend zone).
 
After two dates? Have you even kissed her yet or just "explored each other's hands"? Slow down with that "make her my girlfriend" talk and let her bring that exclusive stuff up some time in the future.

For a third date, why not dinner and movie at your/her place? Great opportunity to increase the physical intimacy (which is how you stay out of the friend zone).

I should have specified. We have had class together all year, and we talk and spend time together at school, so it's not like it's only the third time I have ever seen her. She was actually the first to approach me, and that was a nice surprise. But I definitely understand that it may be too soon to jump into a serious relationship. I definitely want to continue to see her, so we'll see how things go. My living situation definitely isn't ideal, so is it rude/imposing to ask to go to her place?
 
hey gaf, so my girlfriend's ex sent me a message on fb earlier this morning:
Hey man. Congrats on dating (girl). I got a question for you though. Did you know we were dating just a few days ago? Even while you guys were talking? Now if you did, what kind of morals you got bro? That's against the bro code. You never get with a girl who is dating another guy. At least I would never do that.

She told me she was single so moralz and bro code (we're not bros) blah blah is dumb. One of her friends also told me that this dude is a doucher and is obsessed with her so I'm guessing the guy is jealous or something. That or my gf cheated with him for me. Here we go. Anyway she's coming up later tonight to see me and I plan on asking her about it, but what do you think I should do gaf?

I'm thinking about just showing her the message and telling her to explain herself and explain that if she wants us to work out then I have to know what's going on.
 
hey gaf, so my girlfriend's ex sent me a message on fb earlier this morning:
Hey man. Congrats on dating (girl). I got a question for you though. Did you know we were dating just a few days ago? Even while you guys were talking? Now if you did, what kind of morals you got bro? That's against the bro code. You never get with a girl who is dating another guy. At least I would never do that.

She told me she was single so moralz and bro code (we're not bros) blah blah is dumb. One of her friends also told me that this dude is a doucher and is obsessed with her so I'm guessing the guy is jealous or something. That or my gf cheated with him for me. Here we go. Anyway she's coming up later tonight to see me and I plan on asking her about it, but what do you think I should do gaf?

I'm thinking about just showing her the message and telling her to explain herself and explain that if she wants us to work out then I have to know what's going on.

Ignore him. He's jelly.
 
hey gaf, so my girlfriend's ex sent me a message on fb earlier this morning:
Hey man. Congrats on dating (girl). I got a question for you though. Did you know we were dating just a few days ago? Even while you guys were talking? Now if you did, what kind of morals you got bro? That's against the bro code. You never get with a girl who is dating another guy. At least I would never do that.

She told me she was single so moralz and bro code (we're not bros) blah blah is dumb. One of her friends also told me that this dude is a doucher and is obsessed with her so I'm guessing the guy is jealous or something. That or my gf cheated with him for me. Here we go. Anyway she's coming up later tonight to see me and I plan on asking her about it, but what do you think I should do gaf?

I'm thinking about just showing her the message and telling her to explain herself and explain that if she wants us to work out then I have to know what's going on.

Id just say "take it up with her dude" and leave it at that.
 
hey gaf, so my girlfriend's ex sent me a message on fb earlier this morning:
Hey man. Congrats on dating (girl). I got a question for you though. Did you know we were dating just a few days ago? Even while you guys were talking? Now if you did, what kind of morals you got bro? That's against the bro code. You never get with a girl who is dating another guy. At least I would never do that.

She told me she was single so moralz and bro code (we're not bros) blah blah is dumb. One of her friends also told me that this dude is a doucher and is obsessed with her so I'm guessing the guy is jealous or something. That or my gf cheated with him for me. Here we go. Anyway she's coming up later tonight to see me and I plan on asking her about it, but what do you think I should do gaf?

I'm thinking about just showing her the message and telling her to explain herself and explain that if she wants us to work out then I have to know what's going on.

Tell him there is no bro code especially not for some dumbass stranger.

And honestly what kind of person just up and messages the new bf/gf like that? Fucking creep.
 
iTkKMwhJtVV3G.jpg


shamelessly stolen from the P90X thread but it applies to pretty much anything in life.
Easier said than done to go to a bar/club alone.

I've been to open mic nights before (to watch the music), but I'm not sure what I would do in such a situation on regular nights.
 
Doesn't have to be a bar or club. It could be a coffee house.

That seems to be where more introverted people go to chill.

I might do that tonight if I'm not too tired from day 1 of p90x classic. haha...
 
Not exactly Dating-Age, but what's everyone up to tonight?

Wish I was doing something, but sadly no one is up for doing anything.

Playing God Hand right now. Going to pre-order some games and then get dinner/drinks with one of my lady friends ;)
 
Doesn't have to be a bar or club. It could be a coffee house.

That seems to be where more introverted people go to chill.

I might do that tonight if I'm not too tired from day 1 of p90x classic. haha...
Well there's nowhere like that near me.

Also although I probably appear to be introverted, I feel like an extrovert stuck in an introverts body.

Feels bad man.
 
Well there's nowhere like that near me.

Also although I probably appear to be introverted, I feel like an extrovert stuck in an introverts body.

Feels bad man.

So you're an extrovert in the sense that you get your energy from people but you need enough people that you know around you to keep your anxiety at bay?
 
Not sure what I'm doing tonight because I lack the company necessary to do anything. Last week I didn't go anywhere because I already didn't have anybody else to hang with. Going to a club/bar alone sucks.
 
So you're an extrovert in the sense that you get your energy from people but you need enough people that you know around you to keep your anxiety at bay?
Essentially yes.

It is almost as if I've grown out of being an introvert, but I can't exactly act as an extrovert yet.

I feel trapped.
 
Dorms emptied out today. Staying in the dorms over the summer because of my internship. This place is really creepy and lonely right now.
 
yeah im at the point now where most people i know are going to start leaving in a month or so. gonna have to start socialising and going to classes and stuff to meet new peoplez.
 
Well there's nowhere like that near me.

Also although I probably appear to be introverted, I feel like an extrovert stuck in an introverts body.

Feels bad man.
That's good, because that's what you are :) Everyone can be or is an extrovert, they just don't know it. You better believe it.

I just got home. Had a great time even though my usual buddy stayed at home. Another really close friend recently turned single so he went out with me for basically the first time (and the club was new to him as well). We danced for almost three hours and had a blast. The older lady I danced with another time was there and we did some ass grinding before her guy friends decided to intervene. Do I care? Not in the slightest. Not six months ago, I would've been bothered by the "lack of success" but not anymore. Every single night out, and every day, shows steady progress. It was also very hilarious to see two one night stands fighting over my attention with grinding and making out with random dudes in front of me to get me jealous xD

Did you go out tonight Xun? :)

My buddy and I found a new song that really gets us into party mode. Maybe you need more of that in your life too?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAbokV76tkU&ob=av2e
I don't listen to this sort of stuff usually but it's so damn stuck in our heads at the moment :lol LMFAO's Sexy and I Know It is another one. Always gets the job done.
 
Well, we had the TALK. She called me up and actually brought up the subject, we talked for about an hour. I told her that we've just been best friends and roommates for the last 6-7 months. There's been no romance, and that after really thinking on it, I felt the same way she did...I love her but I'm not in love with her. She's going to come home tomorrow and we're going to grab dinner and a movie, and talk and finalize shit tomorrow. But it's basically over. It's sad, but if things go as I'm hoping it'll be an amicable "moving on" (I don't like the term break up since that's not what this is, we really are just moving on).

As of right now we're still going to be living together for the near future, which really doesn't bother me since I have no desire to go meet other girls atm anyway.
 
Well, we had the TALK. She called me up and actually brought up the subject, we talked for about an hour. I told her that we've just been best friends and roommates for the last 6-7 months. There's been no romance, and that after really thinking on it, I felt the same way she did...I love her but I'm not in love with her. She's going to come home tomorrow and we're going to grab dinner and a movie, and talk and finalize shit tomorrow. But it's basically over. It's sad, but if things go as I'm hoping it'll be an amicable "moving on" (I don't like the term break up since that's not what this is, we really are just moving on).

As of right now we're still going to be living together for the near future, which really doesn't bother me since I have no desire to go meet other girls atm anyway.

You sure you're comfortable with that since she seems like she's already at the point of bringing dudes around? Or talking with them?
 
Sooo I wrote in the cheating thread that I was thinking about cheating on my fiance more and more these days. Well that didn't happen but she pissed me off enough to call it quits. We still live together for a few more months. But I'm 90% sure we are officially done after 11 years.

Now for thread relevance.. I am really terrified about getting back in the dating game. For anyone that started dating after a long relationship..How was it? How scared were you? Did it take a while to get your "groove" back? Haha I don't even know if I ever had a "groove"..11 years is a long fucking time.
 
You sure you're comfortable with that since she seems like she's already at the point of bringing dudes around? Or talking with them?

Well, she has nowhere else to go. And she's free to talk to guys all she wants, but I would hope she would respect me enough to not bring guys to my apartment.
 
Sooo I wrote in the cheating thread that I was thinking about cheating on my fiance more and more these days. Well that didn't happen but she pissed me off enough to call it quits. We still live together for a few more months. But I'm 90% sure we are officially done after 11 years.

Now for thread relevance.. I am really terrified about getting back in the dating game. For anyone that started dating after a long relationship..How was it? How scared were you? Did it take a while to get your "groove" back? Haha I don't even know if I ever had a "groove"..11 years is a long fucking time.
Sorry to hear about your relationship, props for not cheating... I guess. I was out of the game for 7 years, not as long as you, but still long enough to lose all conceivable "groove". I took mucho time off ~ a year, I've been "back" for a few months. It's been rough for me, lots of missteps, also doesn't help that it's a bit more difficult to get out there when you are a bit older and many of your friends are all family'd up already.
 
Help me GAF;

My ex-girlfriend is apparently in Denmark for vacation and she is now constantly calling me and SMS'ing me, she even tries adding my new girlfriend to her Facebook. Now my girlfriend is just wondering if me and my ex still have a relationship.. =/

What should I do? I told my girlfriend that she have to trust me as much as I trust her, and that I have no kinds of relationship with my ex. I even blocked her from Facebook and Skype and now I'm looking into getting a new phone number.

How else can I tackle this?
 
Help me GAF;

My ex-girlfriend is apparently in Denmark for vacation and she is now constantly calling me and SMS'ing me, she even tries adding my new girlfriend to her Facebook. Now my girlfriend is just wondering if me and my ex still have a relationship.. =/

What should I do? I told my girlfriend that she have to trust me as much as I trust her, and that I have no kinds of relationship with my ex. I even blocked her from Facebook and Skype and now I'm looking into getting a new phone number.

How else can I tackle this?

Ignore her or bang her, your decision.
 
I have ignored my ex for weeks. Hope my girlfriend can ignore her as well.

I just hate it, that it has started thoughts in my girlfriends head, that maybe me and my ex still have a relationship together, which is clearly not the case.
 
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