FallingEdge
Member
Yeah for real. The exact opposite of taking it slow.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
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I have just been totally mind fucked. I were curious because a model added me on Facebook and started chatting me, so I replied of course. She said she were in the Philippines right now and then I checked her profile and it had a status update written 1 hour ago saying the location were Netherlands. And my ex turns out to be in that exact city. She have since erased the profile.
But I feel violated having thought I chatted with somebody else. Isn't it illegal to pretend you are someone else using another's ID online?
I really do feel harassed. My ex really do not want to stop sending me bad messages and creating that fake profile apparently. Can't I go to the police and report it or something?
By the way, my girlfriend says she's just teasing me with the "leave me alone tonight" stuff and that she didn't hear my call.
My mind is getting raped and fucked tonight.
But I feel violated having thought I chatted with somebody else. Isn't it illegal to pretend you are someone else using another's ID online?
I really do feel harassed. My ex really do not want to stop sending me bad messages and creating that fake profile apparently. Can't I go to the police and report it or something?
By the way, my girlfriend says she's just teasing me with the "leave me alone tonight" stuff and that she didn't hear my call.
My mind is getting raped and fucked tonight.
ClovingWestbrook
Banned
I have just been totally mind fucked. I were curious because a model added me on Facebook and started chatting me, so I replied of course. She said she were in the Philippines right now and then I checked her profile and it had a status update written 1 hour ago saying the location were Netherlands. And my ex turns out to be in that exact city. She have since erased the profile.
But I feel violated having thought I chatted with somebody else. Isn't it illegal to pretend you are someone else using another's ID online?
I really do feel harassed. My ex really do not want to stop sending me bad messages and creating that fake profile apparently. Can't I go to the police and report it or something?
By the way, my girlfriend says she's just teasing me with the "leave me alone tonight" stuff and that she didn't hear my call.
My mind is getting raped and fucked tonight.
Ok. Let me start off by saying I don't mean to offend you or hurt you feelings but am truly trying to help you.
With that being said, STOP. You're using this thread as a private journal and posting every single thing that goes on between you and your girlfriend. There are people here who have real issues, real questions, need real help. I can't read a page without reading what your girlfriend thinks, what she says to you on a given day, what you say in return. Just please, for the love of God, STOP.
Also, you said you wanted to take this relationship slow and yet you tell her after 3 days that you love her? What are you thinking? You don't even know her. Taking it slow is simply enjoying getting to know someone, not acting like you're an old married couple. My goodness. Stop thinking so much. Its a relationship. You barely know her. She barely knows you. STOP.
It's time to stop and realize that you're acting like a love sick child who for the first time experienced a woman giving him a hug. It's time to look at what you want from a relationship. What you expect in a relationship. A relationship takes time to develop. It takes time to trust someone and to be trusted. It isn't overnight. It isn't over a period of a week. It isn't a month. It takes a while. If you REALLY want a relationship then stop looking for one and start having fun. And for the love of God, stop telling us every single thing you are doing, saying, feeling.
ClovingWestbrook
Banned
Good. Also, realize that the person was possibly a bot. Finally, stop looking at women differently than you would men. Women aren't these magical creatures. They are just regular human beings with imperfections both emotional, physical, mental like men. So many people in this thread look at women in a way that makes them put them on a pedestal. Women don't want that. They don't need that. Just relax around them like you relax around your guy friends.
I actually relax more around women than men though lol.
Who's a bot?
I'm also thinking all of this with me and my girlfriend. That we have only known each other for 2 weeks and we still need to just relax and have fun like friends, and that these "bad" things are maybe something that goes away, the more we get to know each other. Thus wanting to give it a chance, because she truly have a wonderful side to her as well, or otherwise I wouldn't be with her.
Anyway, I'm out. Wanna relax.
Who's a bot?
I'm also thinking all of this with me and my girlfriend. That we have only known each other for 2 weeks and we still need to just relax and have fun like friends, and that these "bad" things are maybe something that goes away, the more we get to know each other. Thus wanting to give it a chance, because she truly have a wonderful side to her as well, or otherwise I wouldn't be with her.
Anyway, I'm out. Wanna relax.
I just got the weirdest thing happen to me.
I signed up on a dating site like okcupid. Where I was greeted with the page "those people are searching someone like u" Now the interesting part of it was that I recognized one of those people cause she's a friend of mine so I checked her profile. Like everyone does I guess. 10min I was already of the site and went on neogaf again for my daily dose gaf and I received an email from that dating site that I received a message already. It was from her but It didn't go like I tough it would be...
Gonna post the chatlog (It's in dutch so I translated it)
She: Why did u went on my profile ?
Me: Oh sorry didn't knew I wasn't supposed to
She: Yeah yeah. Just get away from my profile.
Me: Damn okay. Did I do something wrong that you act like that ?
She: Bye
Me: Damn..
She: STFU
Me: wow didn't knew you would take it this hard for going on your profile
She: I said shut up
Me: Nope not if you act like this.
She: she insults me and said that I got a nerdy behavior (wtf ?)
Me: wtf are you smoking ?
She: Hahaha fag
Me: wtf did I do to you ?
She: You should better find someone with your ugly face.
Me: wow..
Me: thx...
She: yw
wtf just happend ? :S
I didn't do nothing wrong to her and she threat me like a piece of shit :/
I signed up on a dating site like okcupid. Where I was greeted with the page "those people are searching someone like u" Now the interesting part of it was that I recognized one of those people cause she's a friend of mine so I checked her profile. Like everyone does I guess. 10min I was already of the site and went on neogaf again for my daily dose gaf and I received an email from that dating site that I received a message already. It was from her but It didn't go like I tough it would be...
Gonna post the chatlog (It's in dutch so I translated it)
She: Why did u went on my profile ?
Me: Oh sorry didn't knew I wasn't supposed to
She: Yeah yeah. Just get away from my profile.
Me: Damn okay. Did I do something wrong that you act like that ?
She: Bye
Me: Damn..
She: STFU
Me: wow didn't knew you would take it this hard for going on your profile
She: I said shut up
Me: Nope not if you act like this.
She: she insults me and said that I got a nerdy behavior (wtf ?)
Me: wtf are you smoking ?
She: Hahaha fag
Me: wtf did I do to you ?
She: You should better find someone with your ugly face.
Me: wow..
Me: thx...
She: yw
wtf just happend ? :S
I didn't do nothing wrong to her and she threat me like a piece of shit :/
Atramental
Banned
There's crazies on OKC.
Speaking of OKC... guess where Anastacio met this girl he's currently with?
Speaking of OKC... guess where Anastacio met this girl he's currently with?
Oh no OKC.. also
The Antitype
Banned
Uh, she's a bitch?
If she's actually a friend, then call her ass up or message her on Facebook and say 'WTF was that about?!'
I did she texted me back with u need to go gay...
One less friend to care off now.
So I actually do have a question.
My girlfriend and I split on pretty amicable terms, we ended it mostly due to the fact that we were having trouble seeing each other due to distance and time and that had been weakening our relationship for a little while now.
We basically said goodbye to each other today but did the whole thing where we promised to stay friends.
How long should I avoid talking to her? Should I just completely cut off contact?
My girlfriend and I split on pretty amicable terms, we ended it mostly due to the fact that we were having trouble seeing each other due to distance and time and that had been weakening our relationship for a little while now.
We basically said goodbye to each other today but did the whole thing where we promised to stay friends.
How long should I avoid talking to her? Should I just completely cut off contact?
Do what feels comfortable to you. At least that's what I would do. No idea if that's sound advice.
I did the same with a fairly long time girlfriend not long ago. Completely amicable but still wanted to be friends. It was a case where we just really liked talking to each other as people who cared about one another. There was some serious distance between us for the first couple of months as it was hard for me to separate her in my mind romantically, but with enough time we were chatting it up again and I got to be her support friend again. Which lasted for a while.
Eventually we grew further apart though as I started seeing other girls and I grew tired of being the one to always call her. Then this past Christmas we hung out for a day and I realized I was not over her at all. After that I stopped calling her as much. It's been over a month now since we last talked. Not sure where it's at now but hey, life moves on.
luckyboyceo
Member
+1 for this post. You hit the nail on the head, well said.
Obviously, there's no set timeframe here. Like the poster above me said, do it for however long feels right.
Personally, I think cutting off all contact is the best (and fastest) way to go, but at the very least you'll want to bring contact down to a minimum. Only when you feel comfortable talking/being with her as just friends should you start reaching out again.
disappeared
Banned
fuck women fuck this shit I'm going to school for four years and forgetting about women entirely. fuck these mind games and texting rules and facebook messaging and dammit all to hell.
why does everything have to be such a fucking game?
why does everything have to be such a fucking game?
But guess where I met my girlfriend....
It's not all bad. There are crazies on every site and real life. Water is wet, grass is green, news at 11.
Atramental
Banned
True true.
Anyways, tomorrow I'm going to some big art event that's being held in downtown Greenville, SC. I don't really know what to expect while I'm there but hopefully I can meet some new people and what not.
Overall, I'm just glad I'm getting out of my parent's house and actually doing something out in the real world.
Slayer-33
Liverpool-2
Wow..
If I do contact her, it's just going to be through text messages.
I'm pretty scared that if we do talk regularly though that I'm going to keep holding onto the feelings I have for her. I almost feel like telling her we should probably not talk for a while and that me not getting in contact with her is not indicative of me being angry at her or anything.
Ahh, c'est la vie. Wish it were easy.
I'm pretty scared that if we do talk regularly though that I'm going to keep holding onto the feelings I have for her. I almost feel like telling her we should probably not talk for a while and that me not getting in contact with her is not indicative of me being angry at her or anything.
Ahh, c'est la vie. Wish it were easy.
Maybe its just me but I just find it easier cutting contact. If she wants to be friends, then I wait for her to text first.
If we're chatting back and forth, that can't work. If I just come off completely uninterested or not even replying then even less would have happened.
Zomba13
Member
Yeah, that is a stupid rule.
So I'm starting to get pretty official with the economist girl. We haven't had "the talk", but were hangin out 2-3 times a week and spending nights together and neither is looking for anyone else at this point. She is really smart, so much good discussions can be had and I also learn lots of new stuff since she has so much trivia. She is also really attractive and has a great style. She's a couple of years older than me and is really classy.
Also my ex messaged me yesterday that she misses me. Thoughts got pretty messy for a while, but I don't have any feelings for her anymore, there were reasons it didn't work out.
Also my ex messaged me yesterday that she misses me. Thoughts got pretty messy for a while, but I don't have any feelings for her anymore, there were reasons it didn't work out.
Don't get bogged down in the mechanics. The point is that beginning a relationship is a delicate process. Unless a woman is literally begging you to come over and deliver sausage there is a very real possibility of turning romantic interest into platonic interest, or killing the interest altogether. One of the worst modern pitfalls is too much texting.
A text is not intimate. It is almost anti-intimate at the early stages. The transition from interested to fucking rarely happens electronically. A man needs to be in her personal space. She should smell you, hear your voice, look up at your eyes. That is the kind of shit that makes a woman think of you sexually.
In the early stages the only texts I want to send are variations of, "I want to see you on blah blah blah." That's it. I'm not trying to be your goddamn buddy. I don't want to trade lols. I want to trade bodily fluids, and while the iPhone can do a lot, it can't do that.
hawkshockey11
Banned
accidentally clicked on my ex's facebook page from a picture shared from her wall. Couldn't close fast enough and saw "in a relationship with xxxxxx" (curious eyes drifted to that spot naturally) and I quite honestly don't feel any anxiety or depression. Feels good to not be emotionally influenced by her anymore.
Pollux
Member
So, y'all remember how me and the girlfriend broke up? How I said it was a mutual thing, and told her that as well? Yea....I lied. I told her that so she could move on and be happy; and I miss her like crazy, and I pretty much am still just as in love with her as I've been the entire time. Not that I'm ever going to tell her that. We tried for over 6 months to get her to "fall back in love" with me, it didn't work, so there's no point in saying anything to her.
As I was convincing her in the week leading up to the break up, I think I convinced myself without even realizing it, that it was a mutual thing. That way we could end amicably, and she could move on and not have to worry about me still being in love or anything like that. But now that it's over...I'm still in love...At least she's happy, which was what my goal was. All I wanted for her is to be happy, and if it can't be me that makes her happy and feel in love then I truly hope that someday she finds someone who can. She deserves it. She's a great girl and she'll make whoever she finds incredibly happy.
I look at her now and she's reconnecting with people she hasn't seen since high school, she's going to a concert Sunday evening and a casino, and she's just the happiest I've seen her in a long time. That honestly makes me happy, but at the same time it's like my heart is being crushed because I realize that no matter what I tried I was unable to get her to smile and laugh like she's been for the last week. And I'll be honest, it hurts.
Shit sucks.
As I was convincing her in the week leading up to the break up, I think I convinced myself without even realizing it, that it was a mutual thing. That way we could end amicably, and she could move on and not have to worry about me still being in love or anything like that. But now that it's over...I'm still in love...At least she's happy, which was what my goal was. All I wanted for her is to be happy, and if it can't be me that makes her happy and feel in love then I truly hope that someday she finds someone who can. She deserves it. She's a great girl and she'll make whoever she finds incredibly happy.
I look at her now and she's reconnecting with people she hasn't seen since high school, she's going to a concert Sunday evening and a casino, and she's just the happiest I've seen her in a long time. That honestly makes me happy, but at the same time it's like my heart is being crushed because I realize that no matter what I tried I was unable to get her to smile and laugh like she's been for the last week. And I'll be honest, it hurts.
Shit sucks.
hawkshockey11
Banned
It always will suck until the next girl comes along. Don't forget to make yourself happy too. Get out, meet new people, do things that you would not have done last year, do things that scare the shit out of you.
Stop thinking about her happiness, that is not healthy. You have to get your mind out of her life and into yours. You can't feel crushed and anxious about what you don't know so eliminate all ties to her and all ways of getting info on her life (facebook, etc).
I know where you're coming from, sort of. My girlfriend and I just broke up because of distance issues, but really she broke up with me and I just kinda agreed. We didn't even talk that much about it, I'm just assuming that's the reason why because it was what was brought up. I still have a lot of feelings for her and the fact that I'm probably never going to see her again hurts a lot.
But it's better this way because the way our lives are going our relationship just couldn't have worked out at this time.
I know these are pretty different circumstances, but I think I understand. It hurts a lot but in the end hopefully both of us can be happy.
Pollux
Member
Yea I know. I've always had an slight urge to be a priest (let's please not turn this into a religion bashing thread). So I'm focusing on law school and perusing information on seminaries. Not that I'm going to do anything like that right now considering I'm probably looking at seminaries so closely at the moment as a result of the break up and a feeling of nowhere else to go. But I'm learning new things, and it takes my mind off of her, which is the goal, I guess.
Yea, man I definitely know how you feel. I'm applying to law schools back home so I can "reset". At least you seem to be moving on a little, by admitting that it couldn't have worked out at this time. That's a good step.
And given time we'll move on and be happy again, but obviously right now it just sucks.
The thing that hurts the most, is that after 4 years, she just wan't in love with me. It's not that I necessarily did anything (which I'm convinced I did, I had to have done something)...but it's just that she went from being in love to being a step or two above indifferent. *sigh*
People fall in and out of love, circumstances change, life happens to everyone. Can't blame yourself or anyone else. It's all about learning how to deal with what happens and figure out how you'll get to the next point in your life.
Friends have been helping me a lot right now.
Friends have been helping me a lot right now.
Pollux
Member
I think part of the problem with me right now is I'm alone due to isolating myself on account of finals. After this week it should get better because I'll have a social life again.
Ah, yeah, that's bad timing. I literally just finished my classes the day before the break up... probably intentional on her part.
Pollux
Member
Good luck with them. You'll make it through.
She probably thought you were being creepy and searching for stuff about her on the internet. Either way, her reacting crazy like that, without knowing that you found her by accident, means she's probably not worth being friends with.
Pollux
Member
I hope so. Need to do well so I can transfer and get out of this place so I'm not constantly reminded of her. Literally, everything in this city reminds me of her.
luckyboyceo
Member
Congrats on things with the new girl. It's natural for your head to be spinning a little bit after talking with your ex. The fact hat you were able to shake those feelings is a good sign that not only are you over your ex, but that you really care about this new girl you're seeing. That's great news.
That's a huge step. It's definitely indicative of where you're at emotionally and good reinforcement for why you don't need her anymore. One step closer to completely writing her off.
I don't know if this is going to make you feel better or not, but I will say that what you're feeling right now is all completely normal. She was a huge part of your life for 4 years, and while I know last week you said you were fine splitting, I think that was more or less just you looking for a resolution to your situation. Your mind wasn't completely clear, and now it is.
It's going to suck for awhile. Hell, I'm still dealing with the ramifications of my breakup from this time last month. But it does get better. I know it doesn't seem like it will right now, but believe me, it does. One thing I did when I was really down was reconnect with some of my old friends. It's panned out pretty well and not only did that keep my mind off things, it brought me back to a whole group of friends that I otherwise would have never hung out with. If seminary school or law school is what you're looking to do, keep at it. Things like that are extremely productive ways of keeping your mind off your current situation.
I feel for you man. I know it's hard, nobody here is going to tell you otherwise. In fact, this will probably be one of the hardest moments of your life. But guess what? You're going to make it through this, and when you do, you'll be a better person. I know that sounds cliché, but you will be. Hang in there my GAF brother.
AdventureRacing
Member
So tomorrow is when i'm going out with my ex for lunch, i'm starting to feel like i'm making a mistake (getting too involved again). I'm still just working on myself and i'm keeping my options open this time but i think i let her back into my life too much to fast. Well it's done now and i'll just see where this takes me. So far things have been fine, i'm hoping they stay that way.
Pollux
Member
Thanks man. Guess the best thing to do now is to just stay busy.
CrazedProfessional
Member
Do I bail out when I girl I've been seeing for a few weeks says that she
'Doesn't know how to love."
On one hand I could stick with her, let all the bullshit bounce off me and ride this horse into the long term. On the other hand I could bail out and find someone else.
'Doesn't know how to love."
On one hand I could stick with her, let all the bullshit bounce off me and ride this horse into the long term. On the other hand I could bail out and find someone else.
Blue Ninja
Member
Yep. It's one of the hardest things to do, and one of the crappiest periods of your life, but staying busy can lighten it at least a bit. It's what I'm doing right now, too. Probably the toughest period I've ever had in my life, but it's slowly getting better.
You should tell her "I will show you how to love" lol.
AdventureRacing
Member
Yep. It's one of the hardest things to do, and one of the crappiest periods of your life, but staying busy can lighten it at least a bit. It's what I'm doing right now, too. Probably the toughest period I've ever had in my life, but it's slowly getting better.
Even though it is a crappy period of your life it can also be an enjoyable one for other reasons. I've been enjoying my new found freedom and just taking the time to improve myself and do the things i want. Sure i miss my ex but i have found fun in other ways which i probably wouldn't have done if it hadn't happened.
Blue Ninja
Member
That's true. I also reconnected with some friends I hadn't heard or seen in a while, and it's a great help. Also went out more during these last two months than I did the rest of the preceding year. :lol
Finals are coming up now, though, so that's pretty much coming to an end for a few weeks, which sucks.
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