I'll make my pic my avatar image in a minute. Believe me, I'm not some great looker, but personality helps when dealing with women and it goes a long way. Need to have confidence in yourself.
Now to find a decent picture.....
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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I'll make my pic my avatar image in a minute. Believe me, I'm not some great looker, but personality helps when dealing with women and it goes a long way. Need to have confidence in yourself.
Now to find a decent picture.....
What if I, right this moment, said that you were ugly?
The_Inquisitor
Member
So Nerds what is your approach BTW. Take my DMV example.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
Whatever you say man. I'm sure a dozen victoria secret models are on their way to sex me up now that I've been revealed on the internet.
World doesn't work like that my man.
Um, I don't know, I'd read it and reply.
The_Inquisitor
Member
Not with that attitude!
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
I'm just trying to make my point that he's putting too much emphasis on looks. If looks were everything then according to him I would be living the good life.
I like how NBA-GAF is here. Damn it, I was hoping you guys would forever envision me as my Wayne Brady avatar.
Exactly. Looks obviously help, but there are so many factors that one has to consider. A great looking guy with a shit personality will get no where.
The_Inquisitor
Member
Never said it worked like that, but come on man, look at yourself. I'm telling you, you either have just been unlucky with women, or something. You're not a bad looking dude by any means. You can take another picture and put it on Gaf to see if you aren't sure, but I bet I can predict the result.
Also, I'm not trying to be a dick but you'd look a lot better with your hair shorter or styled differently I feel. Maybe it's the angle of the picture though, but it just looks a little off. It could be the angle though.
They are what we call douchebags
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
I thought girls liked douchebags.
I don't know what to tell you man. I strike out quite often. You're probably right about my hair but I just wanna rock it out one last time before I gotta start shaving it.
Nerds with Guns
Banned
You keep harping on this word as if it's the sole factor in determining if you approach. You want context? Ok fuck it. It's 2:34 pm on a nice Friday afternoon. The sun is slightly perched behind the clouds, and there is a nice breeze in the air. You're making your way out to the quad and there you see her, your perfect 10. The type of girl you fantasize about when you touch yourself at night. She walks past you texting on her cellphone as you stand in awe for a few seconds. Some kid in the background starts playing Boston - More Than A Feeling on his radio. Do. You. Approach?
The_Inquisitor
Member
No, they like guys who are spontaneous. Douchebags often "win" because they don't fit the common nice guy mold approach that women get subjected to over and over. Eventually it doesn't work because the chemistry the girl though was there was actually the guy being a dbag and not "fun".
Probably not. I have no idea what the fuck she is like, and I can't think of an ideal way to interject without looking a creeper. Unless she of course drops the phone and runs after me. That's how it always works right?
I don't have the skills to pick up a girl walking down a sidewalk. A character flaw for sure.Nerds with Guns
Banned
Probably not. I have no idea what the fuck she is like, and I can't think of an ideal way to interject without looking a creeper. Unless she of course drops the phone and runs after me. That's how it always works right?
You walk in front of her and say you thought she was pretty/adorable/cute and you wanted to come and talk to her.
I'm not sure then. Like I said, maybe it's your clothes or maybe you're coming on too strong or something. I don't know what you look like besides your face, but if you're not already, maybe try working out to give you an extra, extra edge. Even that seems like overkill though, because as I said the picture tells a different tale then what you've said.
Nerds with Guns
Banned
You look fine dude.
The fuck kinda answer is that?
I've been around these threads for years. No point in posting anymore. My problems, which are well documented and often celebrated in some circles, are beyond what this thread is now.
You don't need plastic surgery or some clothes that you can't afford (or rock in public) or "the right one" to make everything feel easy for you. At some point you're gonna have to say "this is what I am, and I think its pretty fuckin good". But you can't say that if you don't believe the last part. So, for many, this isn't about dating advice. Its about addressing what seems to be borderline depression and almost masochistic tendencies of self-abuse or... something. This isn't directed at you specifically, but that's what the general theme has been in here for a while. And it's not healthy to treat it like a dating/relationship problem when it simply isn't.
A lot of people in this thread are in a hole. Or don't know themselves. How are you going to introduce yourself, present yourself to someone else when you don't even know who you are and when you don't even like yourself to begin with? Its not going to work. Even if the "dating advice" does help, you're just setting yourself up for a much bigger failure due to trying to
That's not directed at you in particular though, midnights.
Funny story: A friend of mine did this exact thing with a girl at a doctor's office. Except he walked up to her, said "You're pretty. Want to go out with me?". She rejected him by telling him she has a boyfriend. Odd enough, I knew the girl and she told me about it. We had a good laugh about it.
Thanks.
Nerds with Guns
Banned
The_Inquisitor
Member
Uhm, okay. That seems awfully... straightforward.
You're so focused on looks when it does not fucking matter in the slightest. The last few days have been you beating around the bush on a message board of people you don't know asking "do i look good bro?" "i dont look good do i?"
Its pointless. And its silly. You've got the mindset to curl into a ball if a girl were to play you at a bar or something. That is no way to live. If you don't believe that you belong in your body, then people notice. They'll notice that waaaaaaaaay before they wonder if a smedium fits you properly or take note of how you got your hair cut.
Rubbish King
The gift that keeps on giving
Hey datingGAF Going well with a girl but im having a little trouble with intemacy, now im not frijid or anything but i have never actually had sex with somebody..well somebody i love, its always been mechanical and meaningless and i guess im just freaking out about the emotional side of it, the thing is i dont really know how to tell her this.. any advice? :/
Going well with a girl but im having a little trouble with intemacy, now im not frijid or anything but i have never actually had sex with somebody..well somebody i love, its always been mechanical and meaningless and i guess im just freaking out about the emotional side of it, the thing is i dont really know how to tell her this.. any advice? :/Baldy, You give me hope
Okay, but you act like looks don't matter in the slightest either. If women get an impression of you, then that's one thing, but if they see you before you talk to them or whatever, and they don't like what they see, then it's not going to end up well. It's not about hair cuts or whatever, I'm talking about face and body.
I feel bad him. He is socially awkward in every possible way.
We are planning on leaving him alone at a bar one night so he has to talk to somebody. Otherwise he has an elitist attitude and believes every girl is below him, despite the fact he is 26 & has never kissed a girl, has no job, and is one of the biggest douchebags one could meet.
Hey datingGAF
Should just be honest and tell her.
Too much focus on looks. Have confidence and it'll go a long way. Seriously, self confidence and it will make a world of difference. They sense it and it shows immediately. My greatest strength is my high level of confidence -- not looks.
would you be interested in an average looking girl, if she had a really strong personality match with you?
Nerds with Guns
Banned
Of course looks matter. They make things easier, but they don't guarantee you shit. And they're not the determining factor.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
I guess at the end of the day I'm just a nice guy who lacks certain social skills. I'm no Combine that's for damn sure. I feel pretty good about myself most of the time and I got good things going for me right now. I just grew up in a place that is full of rich superficial people so when I go to the gym I see these greek gods walking around with millionaire money and it's hard not to compare.
At the end of the day I just gotta learn how to be suave guy that's interesting to be around. It starts from within.
At the end of the day I just gotta learn how to be suave guy that's interesting to be around. It starts from within.
You can look like Reynolds - but if you look like Ryan Reynolds who hasn't showered for days and ready to hang himself because his mom didn't lay out his clothes right, the same Ryan Reynolds that approaches women with "I t-t-t-think ur cute. Hai. :|" then you're still screwed.
Average Joe just needs to have his shit together, not come off like an idiot, insecure loon, basement dweller, etc to get his foot in the door. Being more concerned with your looks than <random female you've never met> is never going to end well. And its jumping the gun too. Because again, if you're not confident in yourself (and its really easy to see when people aren't) then why should anyone else be confident in you?
Hypereides
Member
WHAT The fuck is going on here?
These last few pages has been nothing but a travesty. I can almost imagine you guys wearing dresses, complimenting eachother's choice of mascara and eyeliner whilst doing it. Stop the bimbo narcassistic bullshit.
Izick is fucking obsessed. He cant make up his mind. First he decides not to post anymore, the next minute he starts seeking attention. Again. And again.
If you keep commenting on his appearence, he'll be stuck in his narrow-minded mentality. He doesnt see that he has more serious problems, like his lack of faith and trust in people.
You guys arent helping, youre just fueling his fix for superficial confirmation. Hes smoking and sniffing those compliments like crack. He'll keep believing supermodel looks are alpha & Omega.
These last few pages has been nothing but a travesty. I can almost imagine you guys wearing dresses, complimenting eachother's choice of mascara and eyeliner whilst doing it. Stop the bimbo narcassistic bullshit.
Izick is fucking obsessed. He cant make up his mind. First he decides not to post anymore, the next minute he starts seeking attention. Again. And again.
If you keep commenting on his appearence, he'll be stuck in his narrow-minded mentality. He doesnt see that he has more serious problems, like his lack of faith and trust in people.
You guys arent helping, youre just fueling his fix for superficial confirmation. Hes smoking and sniffing those compliments like crack. He'll keep believing supermodel looks are alpha & Omega.
You're the best, baldy
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
At the very least Izick could go out and try, then come back and tell us about it. Make things more interesting. Right now he's just going in circles.
Izick, just go outside tomorrow (today?) and approach the first cute girl you see. Make yourself presentable, and be pleasant. Just talk to her. If she shoots you down, so fucking what. Each time you socialize or approach it will get easier, and you'll feel more natural.
Feeling natural in your own skin > all, like almost eeeeeeevvvveeeerrrryone in here has been typically saying.
Just own yourself.
Feeling natural in your own skin > all, like almost eeeeeeevvvveeeerrrryone in here has been typically saying.
Just own yourself.
This is not what to do. "I really don't give a shit". You obviously do.
Turtle up, and say that you didn't create this entire situation of "eyes on you" and say that we're out to get you. Not all advice is, or should be, positive, reassuring pats on the back.
Honestly, I don't think you should be dating. I think you need to work on you - I don't want to run into the girl that gives you a chance and get stuck with all the baggage that you'd no doubt unload on her because your shit isn't together. Your issues don't start at how to get a girl.
I said I don't give a shit what you call it. As for your assessment, that sounds pretty great dude, just keep talking shit. Hopefully the other one will come in and tell you how great that post was, and you two can keep patting each other on the back.
Hypereides
Member
No. You chose to post them. If you barely believe any posters here, think that everyone is lieing, then what the fuck is the point of posting more pictures? Whats the purpose? Youre so fucking transparent, its repulsive.
Youre childish, got weak willpower, weak resistance, selfish, self-centered, immature and lack self-control. That shit wont get you anywhere. Youre not even trying. You're just slowly sinking in quick-sand of feces on your own.
Its useless for you to argue against this.
I rarely do this but, you'll probably be much more happier on my ignore list.
ffs
Alright, I'm done. I posted pics, I did all the shit, I disagreed with people and that's it. I know people are already typing up "boo-hoo, quit bitching" and shit because I'm posting this, but I'm just saying I'm done. I'm not going to post in the thread anymore, at least for quite some time, as people have suggested, it's over and done with. No crying or moaning, it's just me saying that I hear you and I'm going to stop posting. It's over and done with.
Someone give this man a pat on the back.
nohomo
Izick you need professional help. Make an appointment with a psychotherapist as soon as possible.
First off, you don't even know what Baldy and I are talking about. You can make the assumption that we're circle jerking and blasting loads in your general direction, but that's really not the case. It has more to do with inside jokes regarding my small hands and his inability to dress himself. But whatever, you can assume whatever negative you like. Obviously, that's working well for you.
But to reel back - I'm not attacking you. I'm just not gonna sugarcoat my piece to make it easier for you to swallow like a lot of people here do. "Just go up and talk to her" does not work for everyone. You, however, have gone on this incredibly involving swirl down the toilet bowl for the past few days and its hit both sides of spectrum of issues. They aren't Ineeddatingadvice issues either.
Now, you can continue to be defensive and make it out to seem as if I'm out to get you. It'll almost definitely give you some brief peace in your head and you'll get to pretend that these issues that you have are minor and insignificant and that I am some evil sports-gaf boogieman, but the reality is that these problems are going to hang around until you address them. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. If you aren't confident in yourself, then why should anyone else be confident in you? Its the first thing people notice. Do you slouch, do you have your head in the floor, do you fold backwards the moment something doesn't smell like immediate and complete approval, etc - Until you get that one little (big) thing straightened out, then you're just asking for things that you probably can't handle.
And I picked this up over the internet. People here aren't even around you and they can pick up on this shit.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
DY_nasty has some of the most poignant posts I've seen on a forum yet. Should write a book and make money like Brent Smith.
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