FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
I don't understand what you want.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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I don't understand what you want.
Mr.LightMan
Member
Oh, I mean if i'm being to nice to them. I don't really think I fall into "the guy who befriends women not because he wants to be their friend, but because he wants something that he's either too afraid to ask for (lack of confidence in himself) or because he thinks that she's a super swell gal who deserves to be doted on and idealized." As for the dating part, today I found out I went on a date. I thought it was more of a get together with some friends.
She texted me: "Sorry about tonight but I don't think things are going to work out."
My reply: "That's okay and thank you for the honesty, however I lost interest in you the second you touched your phone during the movie and wasn't going to ask you out again regardless. Good luck finding a guy who is willing to deal with your rude behavior because if he is willing to deal with it, then you are meant to be together. Happy birthday and make a wish for a better personality because you need one."
My reply: "That's okay and thank you for the honesty, however I lost interest in you the second you touched your phone during the movie and wasn't going to ask you out again regardless. Good luck finding a guy who is willing to deal with your rude behavior because if he is willing to deal with it, then you are meant to be together. Happy birthday and make a wish for a better personality because you need one."
Vermillion
Banned
Bwahaha, nice.
SquiddyCracker
Banned
wormstrangler
Banned
That's a bit salty, a to the point "likewise" would have conveyed the same thing
I like this approach better. I cringed reading the real reply.
SquiddyCracker
Banned
Yeah, that sorta behavior is pretty disgraceful.
Though if I'm going to be honest, I prefer that to pretending to enjoy a date.
Though if I'm going to be honest, I prefer that to pretending to enjoy a date.
Just wanted to chime in and say that over this summer, I've been trying to be a more outgoing person. Normally, I've known myself to be a recluse around people I don't know then slowly open up and I think that's led to some problems with certain circles. Many who don't know me view me as the kind of person who is nice and considerate when you talk to them, but nothing about them would make you want to talk to them. When I've been forced into a situation however, I've usually had to be the one who tried to be upbeat and make things less awkward. Other than that though, I've had an incredibly hard time walking up to a total stranger for no reason.
So lately, great opportunities to flex my social skills have been popping up out of no where in places I didn't really expect. Enough so that I think my zaniness has gotten girls to walk up and talk to me (in non social gathering places), not vice versa! Two months ago, I never planned to improve myself this way, but I think a lot of things are pushing me along this track.
One thing I always worry about is not being a boring guy, especially in the case of dating. I'm not nervous talking to girls, I don't clamp up. I guess I never realized it before, but a lot of these new people find me really funny when I'm being myself and that made me realize how many jokes I crack around my long time friends as well. I've never had a lack of confidence, but things like this should boost my motivation enough before I eventually crash and burn time after time.
So far, everyone I've met has thought of me as a friend (even the people who were flirting with me...). Hopefully those numbers I've gotten from them won't be used as venting lines in the future.
So lately, great opportunities to flex my social skills have been popping up out of no where in places I didn't really expect. Enough so that I think my zaniness has gotten girls to walk up and talk to me (in non social gathering places), not vice versa! Two months ago, I never planned to improve myself this way, but I think a lot of things are pushing me along this track.
One thing I always worry about is not being a boring guy, especially in the case of dating. I'm not nervous talking to girls, I don't clamp up. I guess I never realized it before, but a lot of these new people find me really funny when I'm being myself and that made me realize how many jokes I crack around my long time friends as well. I've never had a lack of confidence, but things like this should boost my motivation enough before I eventually crash and burn time after time.
So far, everyone I've met has thought of me as a friend (even the people who were flirting with me...). Hopefully those numbers I've gotten from them won't be used as venting lines in the future.
I can understand that, but it was just a movie. Her choice of movie. A movie date is kind of a no-fail situation. How can it go bad? Had we gone out prior or post-movie and things didn't click, sure, I get that.
A little too much. You sounded like an upset child. Like the other posters have brought up, "Likewise" would have been the better response.
Movie dates are cliché too.
I laughed, but that's too much IMO. All you did is prove to her that she got to you.
Vermillion
Banned
She probably didn't intend to. All the better.
That was her choosing, not mine.
Yeah, fair to say both parties lucked out.
CrushDance
Banned
Just got back from work. Thanks for the...uh...advice guys, lol. We're already talking again and she's so frickin...awkward? if that's the right term. Our conversation jumped to ridiculous topics again and she said half way through "Sorry if this is weird. I don't have the best social skills." To which I just laughed at and she asked what was so funny before quickly bursting into laughter as well. Apparently she's been studying since day 0 like crazy and has never really gone out much at all. She is really smart, like I feel embarrassed that she's smarter than me smart. We talked some more about ourselves and got to know one another better. And by the way, she has the CUTEST NAME EVER!! Spring. When she told it to me I just played it off as a joke, but it's actually her name. I feel so conflicted right now because I'm really enjoying talking to her and am trying to figure out a way to ask her out, but at the same time I don't like this "lofty" feeling of happiness because it tends to blind people easily.
I have something in mind for us to do. But I want to keep it simple for now and go from there. I'm really happy.
I have something in mind for us to do. But I want to keep it simple for now and go from there. I'm really happy.
Mr.LightMan
Member
Nice, hope it keeps going great for you.I have something in mind for us to do. But I want to keep it simple for now and go from there. I'm really happy.
Just got back from work. Thanks for the...uh...advice guys, lol. We're already talking again and she's so frickin...awkward? if that's the right term. Our conversation jumped to ridiculous topics again and she said half way through "Sorry if this is weird. I don't have the best social skills." To which I just laughed at and she asked what was so funny before quickly bursting into laughter as well. Apparently she's been studying since day 0 like crazy and has never really gone out much at all. She is really smart, like I feel embarrassed that she's smarter than me smart. We talked some more about ourselves and got to know one another better. And by the way, she has the CUTEST NAME EVER!! Spring. When she told it to me I just played it off as a joke, but it's actually her name. I feel so conflicted right now because I'm really enjoying talking to her and am trying to figure out a way to ask her out, but at the same time I don't like this "lofty" feeling of happiness because it tends to blind people easily.
I have something in mind for us to do. But I want to keep it simple for now and go from there. I'm really happy.
Awesome to hear. Hope everything keeps going well.
Playing the guarded skeptic tends to blind people as well. Have fun, don't over-think it.Just got back from work. Thanks for the...uh...advice guys, lol. We're already talking again and she's so frickin...awkward? if that's the right term. Our conversation jumped to ridiculous topics again and she said half way through "Sorry if this is weird. I don't have the best social skills." To which I just laughed at and she asked what was so funny before quickly bursting into laughter as well. Apparently she's been studying since day 0 like crazy and has never really gone out much at all. She is really smart, like I feel embarrassed that she's smarter than me smart. We talked some more about ourselves and got to know one another better. And by the way, she has the CUTEST NAME EVER!! Spring. When she told it to me I just played it off as a joke, but it's actually her name. I feel so conflicted right now because I'm really enjoying talking to her and am trying to figure out a way to ask her out, but at the same time I don't like this "lofty" feeling of happiness because it tends to blind people easily.
I have something in mind for us to do. But I want to keep it simple for now and go from there. I'm really happy.
CrushDance
Banned
I don't really get a chance to think, haha. We just blabber on finish each others sentences and making comments that would be so openly wtf worthy to most and laughing like idiots. I don't actually know why we're laughing most of the time. Probably to mask the ridiculous shyness we both have. But it's a really great feeling connecting so well like that with someone of the opposite sex.
Hehe I know, I was just fooling around. Thanks for the compliment. I've been having a light conversation with a 20 year old on the site a couple of days now and she seems alright.
A bit crazy perhaps but as I've been taught, you'll so much more if you stay clear of the temptation.
That is the best reply I've ever read.
SlipperySlope
Banned
That's kind of a mean thing to say...
Count Dookkake
Member
lol.
This was good until you went into the butthurt zone, starting with "Good luck..."
But true.
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
wtf :lol You'd flip out if I told you about this night IzickNice to get confirmation that women think I'm a good dancer (100% self taught, not a single step taken until two years ago).
Let's keep it civil, please.
Devolution
Member
Never go on movie dates in the early stages of the relationship/dating, it's the sure fire way to waste time and not get to know the other person so you can figure out compatibility issues right away.
Vermillion
Banned
I assume coffee dates are better. But if you don't drink coffee?
99.9999% of coffee shops these days don't JUST sell coffee.
Devolution
Member
Cocoa. Or if they're around a boba tea place. They do all kinds of mixed drinks.
Vermillion
Banned
True. I'm wondering if you still say "do you wanna get some coffee" or if it even matters. Like, if someone asked you that, and you didn't drink coffee...
I know I am.
NeOak
Member
That is called Chemistry. Enjoy it!
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
Hey, my parents' first date was Back to the Future and I've had some decent movie dates, so I wouldn't right it off entirely.
Devolution
Member
Meh. Seems like a honest waste of time if you're trying to learn things about people and see whether you're compatible or not.
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
Maybe, idk, personally I've always found it nice to see if they could find humor in the movies or if they could take my very dry humor that I poke at films.
So it depends. Its it great? No, but I don't write it off completely or use it as a sole date idea.
D
Deleted member 80556
Unconfirmed Member
I need URGENT help, GAF!
I called my crush, and she answered crying, and said she couldn't talk right then. Honestly, I didn't know what to say. I didn't call her again because I didn't know if it was appropriate. I have to meet her tomorrow, but here's my URGENT question:
Should I do something a little special to make her feel better?
I called my crush, and she answered crying, and said she couldn't talk right then. Honestly, I didn't know what to say. I didn't call her again because I didn't know if it was appropriate. I have to meet her tomorrow, but here's my URGENT question:
Should I do something a little special to make her feel better?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
No. What would "something a little special" even be?
D
Deleted member 80556
Unconfirmed Member
Take her for a walk and talk. Yeah, that's something special here in my town to be honest.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Okay, why wouldn't you be doing that anyway? I don't really understand at all.
Mainly my immediate reaction is "do you do something special for everyone that you catch crying?" It's weird.
D
Deleted member 80556
Unconfirmed Member
I don't really do that for everyone I catch crying, but more like I do it for my closes friend which is her.
And I guess that's a 'yes' you're telling me?
What is the nature of your relationship with this girl? You call her your closest friend?
If anything, I think crying might call for like a burger from McDonald's if she can't get anything to eat, for example. Something small like that, a courtesy.
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