Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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Called the girl I've been hanging out with after I came back from week long vacation in Berlin and no response...That call was yesterday so kinda bummed out she didn't even text me or anything. It was going really great before I went away so I don't know what's up. I kissed her again the day before I left although I definitely had to initiate but that still left me feeling pretty good about the situation when I went away for the week.

Thankfully I wanted to get my hair cut before I see her again anyway but I'm not really sure what to do now. If I text or call again that just feels like putting myself out there too much...Now I just wish I'd texted instead of called the first time.

A friend of mine told me he saw her in the city when going out and she talked about me apparently so I suppose that's a good sign. I still have complete radiosilence with her when we're not meeting up so I didn't talk to her at all in Berlin, not even texts.
 
I don't see it that way. No sex is not healthy for men. That in and of itself causes depression. We're sexual beings.

I don't see how abstaining from sex would help me in any way.

Can you please cut it with the sarcasm? Like I said, I'll fix the problems myself. I'm not going to use someone else as a crutch. But that doesn't mean I have to be alone.

nice, healthy attitude. Don't listen to GAF, nobody is perfect and this is not a reason to abstain or stop getting into relationships.
 
I'll solve the problems myself. In the meantime I'd like to have a relationship.

Maybe you'll find one of those girls who thinks they can fix you and leaves you the second you make progress for someone else who's broken.

subversus is half-right. To a degree, there are some problems you can go into a relationship with. But depending on how much problems you have, you're really just being selfish "why should I be alone" and "I have my values, so why should I be without sex"? It's all about you.

And besides that, if you're that depressed without a relationship, what are you going to do when it doesn't work out? What are you going to settle for? In the end you'll be making yourself and others unhappy, and relationship after relationship you'll feel "forever alone."

Do whatever you want man. But if you want a relationship to work, promise one thing - that you will work on your problems, whether that requires therapy or whatever else. Pursue a relationship if you want even throughout it, but be certain to work on those problems. And as much as you say you won't now, please don't push them off on your SO. That's about it.
 
Do whatever you want man. But if you want a relationship to work, promise one thing - that you will work on your problems, whether that requires therapy or whatever else. Pursue a relationship if you want even throughout it, but be certain to work on those problems. And as much as you say you won't now, please don't push them off on your SO. That's about it.

yes, a relationship should be a motivator to be better, not a crutch.
 
Is saying "man" rude or something?

My girlfriend gets angry when I use it in my sentence sometimes (and it's not even often, it just slips my tongue), when I say something like: "Oh man, that was close" or sentences like that. I have told her, I'm not calling HER a man - geez, to me it just seems like such a little thing to complain about.
 
Is saying "man" rude or something?

My girlfriend gets angry when I use it in my sentence sometimes (and it's not even often, it just slips my tongue), when I say something like: "Oh man, that was close" or sentences like that. I have told her, I'm not calling HER a man - geez, to me it just seems like such a little thing to complain about.
It's a very American expression and I suppose it could be weird as a Danish to talk like that maybe, since it's not a part of the Danish language? It could be something like that.

http://www.vokle.com/events/71626-brent-smith-live
Live stream is now live, and it's pretty weird :)
 
It's a very American expression and I suppose it could be weird as a Danish to talk like that maybe, since it's not a part of the Danish language? It could be something like that.

http://www.vokle.com/events/71626-brent-smith-live
Live stream is now live, and it's pretty weird :)

But we are talking English together and I'm not seeing myself as Danish even though I'm half. I guess it could be weird to her but she herself loves America and talks almost with a slang accent. Just weird to get all worked up about with such a little thing.

Before this she said I can't shave my beard, I have to set up my hair a surden way and I should wear sleeveless shirts. Until I told her I don't want her to dictate what I can and can't do and now it's this word. Blah, I guess I have to get rid of it but I'm just very American when I talk in English, so it's hard to just stop using that word.
 
Is saying "man" rude or something?

My girlfriend gets angry when I use it in my sentence sometimes (and it's not even often, it just slips my tongue), when I say something like: "Oh man, that was close" or sentences like that. I have told her, I'm not calling HER a man - geez, to me it just seems like such a little thing to complain about.

it is a little thing to complain about. like. nothing. is she unaware of expressions or speech habits?

i want to ask if shes not very smart but i dont want to be too mean.
 
As of today it has been one month since I've tried any form of communication with a girl who broke it off with me. I still get angry (with myself) and sad about it sometimes, it ended on awkward terms with her wanting to be friends and then she started ignoring me altogether. I felt so pathetic about the whole thing for being so emotionally invested with someone who I had only kissed. I always think that I could've done this or that or that I wasn't good enough. It was the first girl I might say that I loved, and wasn't merely infatuated with.

But lately I've felt some dignity return back to me, and some hope! Getting my first IT certification this week, gonna start job hunting, and all those back-to-school parties are gonna be happening...
 
it is a little thing to complain about. like. nothing. is she unaware of expressions or speech habits?

i want to ask if shes not very smart but i dont want to be too mean.

I have explained that to her but when she says I can not say it, then I must by no means say it. I don't know what I should reply now lol. I want to repeat to her, that it's an expression but she seems to not be listening and tell her I'll talk the way I'm used to talking.

Some weeks ago I were also caught by surprise, when she got real angry at me because I don't believe in God or religions but I clearly stated, that I respect she is the opposite and believe in it. She said she would convince me to change my belief but I told her she can't. She seem to have accepted that fact, but too much of this angry-ness or "dictating" (for lack of a better word) can slowly turn me off to be honest.
 
I have explained that to her but when she says I can not say it, then I must by no means say it. I don't know what I should reply now lol. I want to repeat to her, that it's an expression but she seems to not be listening and tell her I'll talk the way I'm used to talking.

Some weeks ago I were also caught by surprise, when she got real angry at me because I don't believe in God or religions but I clearly stated, that I respect she is the opposite and believe in it. She said she would convince me to change my belief but I told her she can't. She seem to have accepted that fact, but too much of this angry-ness or "dictating" (for lack of a better word) can slowly turn me off to be honest.

Okay, come on man. Think about this. This can't last long. She sounds like a fucking nutbar.
 
Posted this on the last page but it got stuck at the bottom (or everyone's just ignoring it :lol):

I am a jealous moron.

Anytime a girl I'm dating and myself start talking about our relationship histories--people we've been with, people we've been serious with, things we've done sexually and with who, etc--I become intensely uncomfortable with hearing what my significant other has to say. Just can't stand the thought of someone I'm with having been with someone else, much less many other people. For example, my current girlfriend and I were having this conversation the other day, and she was telling me how she's only ever had one other boyfriend before, with all the other guys in her past just being people she would get drunk and sleep with, and would often go back to these same guys over and over (with overlap between them) just because she felt better doing it with guys she already knew than just bringing home randoms or something like that. And the whole time I'm just stupidly uncomfortable thinking about her being with a bunch of guys and having, in her words, "a minor slutty phase."

But I'm being a huge fucking hypocrite because I've been with a bunch of people too, with overlap between girls I was seeing, one night stands, affairs (not that I was the one who cheated but was with a girl who cheated on her boyfriend with me), etc. I've had my slutty phase too. And it's not like I want someone who is inexperienced anyway! That's WAY less fun than being with a girl who knows what she's doing. I don't think there's any real danger of her leaving me for one of these past guys, especially since she has made it clear that they were all basically assholes to some degree who didn't want anything from her but sex, but at the same time, having been cheated on and dumped a number of times in the past, I always feel really gun-shy about with what a current-girlfriend says about me in comparison to exes.

This kind of jealousy towards an s.o.'s exes has caused problems for me in the past, and although I've gotten better at handling over time and with each new relationship, it's still not something I feel confident about. I have a really good relationship going on right now and I don't want to fuck it up by being an asshole who's being jealous over nothing, but I can already feel that kind of insecurity bubbling in the back of my mind.

I know I'm not being rational, but I don't know how to stop it :\

tl;dr: I'm jealous of my girlfriend's sexual past, I've been with a handful of people too though I know she's been with more (we haven't gotten into numbers but I know from stories we've shared that she's had more partners). I'm not worried about her having feelings for any of these past guys or leaving me for them. I don't hold up sex as some sacred thing that you should only share with "the one." I'm pretty confident that I've kept her happy and interested in me. And while she's had her self-described "slutty phase," I've had mine too.

So what the hell is wrong with me? Why am I so uncomfortable with the thought of her having been with so many guys before me when: a)I don't think they pose any threat to our relationship, and b) I've had my share of partners too? What am I being jealous about here?
 
Well, she told me she knows it's a little thing but don't wanna hear that expression from me and hopes I can respect it. I told her that it's a very hard thing to change because it's part of my American language and it'll be hard to remove that and that I hope she can respect that as well.

Anyway I think it would be a way of worsen my English if I start removing expressional words from my English to be honest.

Oh, and I told her I'm worried that such little things (as she admits) can bother her.
 
I mean, I can understand her not liking an expression or something, but to forbid you from using it? That's absolutely ridiculous.
 
Is saying "man" rude or something?

My girlfriend gets angry when I use it in my sentence sometimes (and it's not even often, it just slips my tongue), when I say something like: "Oh man, that was close" or sentences like that. I have told her, I'm not calling HER a man - geez, to me it just seems like such a little thing to complain about.

No, it's not. She's an idiot, full stop.


I have explained that to her but when she says I can not say it, then I must by no means say it. I don't know what I should reply now lol. I want to repeat to her, that it's an expression but she seems to not be listening and tell her I'll talk the way I'm used to talking.

Some weeks ago I were also caught by surprise, when she got real angry at me because I don't believe in God or religions but I clearly stated, that I respect she is the opposite and believe in it. She said she would convince me to change my belief but I told her she can't. She seem to have accepted that fact, but too much of this angry-ness or "dictating" (for lack of a better word) can slowly turn me off to be honest.

Brutal question time: why are you with this woman?
 
Posted this on the last page but it got stuck at the bottom (or everyone's just ignoring it :lol):



tl;dr: I'm jealous of my girlfriend's sexual past, I've been with a handful of people too though I know she's been with more (we haven't gotten into numbers but I know from stories we've shared that she's had more partners). I'm not worried about her having feelings for any of these past guys or leaving me for them. I don't hold up sex as some sacred thing that you should only share with "the one." I'm pretty confident that I've kept her happy and interested in me. And while she's had her self-described "slutty phase," I've had mine too.

So what the hell is wrong with me? Why am I so uncomfortable with the thought of her having been with so many guys before me when: a)I don't think they pose any threat to our relationship, and b) I've had my share of partners too? What am I being jealous about here?

Oh, it's relatively common. Many guys don't enjoy the idea of a girl sleeping with many other people. For some it's because the girl no longer seems like a challenge ("anyone can sleep with her"), some figure their friends won't approve or see at as an accomplishment, some don't like the thought of other guys sleeping with them (particularly any significant amount), and others have their own reasons.

In the end the relationship is between you and her, and her past sexual partners don't matter (though a lot of failed previous relationships can be a red flag). In the end, it's you with her. You've got to think of it that way and get over the history of it for the sake of the relationship.

Besides, she'll probably be incredible in bed.
 
l past, I've been with a handful of people too though I know she's been with more (we haven't gotten into numbers but I know from stories we've shared that she's had more partners). I'm not worried about her having feelings for any of these past guys or leaving me for them. I don't hold up sex as some sacred thing that you should only share with "the one." I'm pretty confident that I've kept her happy and interested in me. And while she's had her self-described "slutty phase," I've had mine too.

So what the hell is wrong with me? Why am I so uncomfortable with the thought of her having been with so many guys before me when: a)I don't think they pose any threat to our relationship, and b) I've had my share of partners too? What am I being jealous about here?

Have you fucked her yet? Experienced sexual partners are so much fun.
 
Oh, it's relatively common. Many guys don't enjoy the idea of a girl sleeping with many other people. For some it's because the girl no longer seems like a challenge ("anyone can sleep with her"), some figure their friends won't approve or see at as an accomplishment, some don't like the thought of other guys sleeping with them (particularly any significant amount), and others have their own reasons.

In the end the relationship is between you and her, and her past sexual partners don't matter (though a lot of failed previous relationships can be a red flag). In the end, it's you with her. You've got to think of it that way and get over the history of it for the sake of the relationship.

Besides, she'll probably be incredible in bed.

Generally wise.

Not good if the baggage ends up coming into the relationship; you're meeting her exes, you see old hookups of hers around, maybe some pictures of her on vacation with an old flame. That can put some strain on the current relationship, especially early on. Some guys also worry about fidelity when meeting a fairly new partner; i think I'd be very happy dating a girl who has a history of monogamy over one who's been on a long series of sexual escapades. To each their own!
 
Posted this on the last page but it got stuck at the bottom (or everyone's just ignoring it :lol):



tl;dr: I'm jealous of my girlfriend's sexual past, I've been with a handful of people too though I know she's been with more (we haven't gotten into numbers but I know from stories we've shared that she's had more partners). I'm not worried about her having feelings for any of these past guys or leaving me for them. I don't hold up sex as some sacred thing that you should only share with "the one." I'm pretty confident that I've kept her happy and interested in me. And while she's had her self-described "slutty phase," I've had mine too.

So what the hell is wrong with me? Why am I so uncomfortable with the thought of her having been with so many guys before me when: a)I don't think they pose any threat to our relationship, and b) I've had my share of partners too? What am I being jealous about here?
You are insecure about something probably. Hard to tell what it's about though. If it has a serious impact on the relationship, maybe talk to a professional?
 
No, it's not. She's an idiot, full stop.




Brutal question time: why are you with this woman?
There are very many reasons I'm with her. But there's also these lesser things that bothers me.

By the way, I think I have given her wrong expectations. When being with her for the first 2 months we always went out with her friends but I'm not used to going out much due to me having a past with social anxiety disorder which I don't have anymore thanks to years of professional help and dedication on my part and thus I get tired. I'm just a bit tired of meeting her friends on every single street corner as well but I think that comes down to me not knowing how she'll be. Mostly I don't care how she is or do but to me it's a bad experience when in the past she have picked up other random guys numbers, kissed their hand and gotten a call from a dating dude while having sex with me. Those experiences have made me not appreciate it as much going out with her which worries me.

The reason I love her is that she's also thinking about me. She want me to be well, she shows interest by always wanting to be with me, and she's willing to do things I wanna do too. We can communicate and disagree without getting tempered and we still go out on dates and surprise each other. There's a lot of reasons I'm with her but also these other things that's hard for me to understand, like me not being able to say "man". She has honestly gotten better at not "dictating" until today when that happens again.
 
There are very many reasons I'm with her. But there's also these lesser things that bothers me.

By the way, I think I have given her wrong expectations. When being with her for the first 2 months we always went out with her friends but I'm not used to going out much due to me having a past with social anxiety disorder which I don't have anymore thanks to years of professional help and dedication on my part and thus I get tired. I'm just a bit tired of meeting her friends on every single street corner as well but I think that comes down to me not knowing how she'll be. Mostly I don't care how she is or do but to me it's a bad experience when in the past she have picked up other random guys numbers, kissed their hand and gotten a call from a dating dude while having sex with me. Those experiences have made me not appreciate it as much going out with her which worries me.

The reason I love her is that she's also thinking about me. She want me to be well, she shows interest by always wanting to be with me, and she's willing to do things I wanna do too. We can communicate and disagree without getting tempered and we still go out on dates and surprise each other. There's a lot of reasons I'm with her but also these other things that's hard for me to understand, like me not being able to say "man". She has honestly gotten better at not "dictating" until today when that happens again.

Alright I asked because those seem like bigger issues in communication that honestly shouldn't be happening if you click really well. She seems needlessly picky. Big warning sign.
 
By the way, she's going to Sweden next month and we don't know when we'll be together again (which is not good as it's good to have a goal) (though she'll visit me every second week). I mean, we're in different countries but we're 1.5 hours away from each other, that's not really a long distance relationship or maybe it is if we can only see each other every second week.

In fact I'm not sure she can handle it. She ended a 6-year relationship because she went abroad and it became a long distance relationship with 18h transport. But we haven't seen each other for almost 2 weeks now (as she's on vacation) and she's asking questions like "how long will this last" (the whole seeing each other every second week thing, like it's already unbearable for her). Though I trust her and gives her the benefit of the doubt and must believe she can handle it.
 
By the way, she's going to Sweden next month and we don't know when we'll be together again (which is not good as it's good to have a goal) (though she'll visit me every second week). I mean, we're in different countries but we're 1.5 hours away from each other, that's not really a long distance relationship or maybe it is if we can only see each other every second week.

In fact I'm not sure she can handle it. She ended a 6-year relationship because she went abroad and it became a long distance relationship with 18h transport. But we haven't seen each other for almost 2 weeks now (as she's on vacation) and she's asking questions like "how long will this last" (the whole seeing each other every second week thing, like it's already unbearable for her). Though I trust her and gives her the benefit of the doubt and must believe she can handle it.

Yeah, just ask of her to break it off if she can't handle it.

Some weeks ago I were also caught by surprise, when she got real angry at me because I don't believe in God or religions but I clearly stated, that I respect she is the opposite and believe in it. She said she would convince me to change my belief but I told her she can't. She seem to have accepted that fact, but too much of this angry-ness or "dictating" (for lack of a better word) can slowly turn me off to be honest.

This might be something to watch out for if you guys get over the distance hurdle.
 
Oh man, she is. ;)

But she's a sweet girl. Just these small things that irks me the wrong way.

The thing about small things, though, is that they tend to accumulate over time if you don't deal with them. I personally wouldn't want to be with someone who is essentially trying to micromanage my personality to suit their vision of who I'm supposed to be.
 
You guys haven't heard the horror stories. Listen to what divorced guys have to tell you. Frightening stuff. My dad's divorce costed him... well I don't know the exact amount, but it was WELL over 100K. He had to borrow from the house on more than one occasion just because of the divorce, and lived on negative income for 5 years. Five years! Working for 5 years, spending as little as you can, and watching your savings decrease.. and decrease... and decrease.

Until your car breaks and you have to borrow from the house, since that is cheaper than a car loan.

Every divorced man in the area has the same story. Well, the ones that didn't marry professionals.

Edit - Making $20K is almost as bad as making $0 here. Either way you're not making rent without outside help.

If someones going trough a divorce then they weren't ment to be together. Nothing to do with money. I have no dating experience whatsoever but, imo, if two people really like each other money shouldn't matter. But im sure the majority of girls worry about money first. :(

Whats this professional career you have if you don't mind me asking?

Jipan said:
As someone who lives in NY and is scared of going to bars alone, I share your sentiment. I made it one of my summer goals in fact.

As for some good bars, I'll recommend Valhalla on 54th and 9th; I've been there twice. In fact, I was just there on Friday night to meet up with a few Gaffers. It's a nice chill bar; the bartenders are attractive and cool. You can also go check out The Gaf on 48th between 10th and 11th avenue as well as The Pony Bar on 45th and 10th. It's thanks to the GAF meet ups that I know of these places. I suppose you could also check out Irish Exit on 54th and 3rd. There's also Upper East Side versions of The Pony Bar and The Gaf. You can also go check out Barcade in on Lorimer street in Williamsburg. There's a ton more places don't pop up at the moment but there are several NYC Gaffers (including myself) that lurk in this thread.

If you want, I'll be willing to tag along with you next time you decide to go out. I'm used to meeting Gaffers so it wouldn't be a problem. I'm usually downtown on Friday nights after 6, but I'm free practically the whole week while I apply for internships. Although disclaimer: I don't know how to wing man that well as I don't have much experience doing it. Number47 is NYC GAF's best wing man when it comes to talking to women at bars; I've been amazed by how easy it is for him to start a conversation with a group of people.

There's a ton of good advice here on how to talk to women at bars when alone. I will be taking notes, gather up some courage, and take the plunge next time I'm downtown with nothing to do.
Thanks for the bar locations. I'll try to go to a few. I'll think about the meet up.

Feels like i'll be wasting my time though as i don't feel girls are attracted to me. Never felt any hint my entire life. Yeah, yeah, don't be negative but thats easy for ya'll to say with girls under your arms. Girls are way too picky. Ugh. This lonely shit hurts real bad man.
 
The thing about small things, though, is that they tend to accumulate over time if you don't deal with them. I personally wouldn't want to be with someone who is essentially trying to micromanage my personality to suit their vision of who I'm supposed to be.

I actually told her some time ago, that it seems like she is trying to change me into becoming who she want me to be, and now she never tells me I can't do this and that until this "man" word came up today. She also told me today that she don't want us to have as much as a little miscommunication or a little problem but it really seems to me that she's the one creating it this time around. I actually told her "I'll try my best" (to not say the word) but I kind of realize that was the wrong thing to say, seeing that I'm not interested in changing how I express myself. I guess I'll try a little but it's by far not a focus to me, as I got a new education, gym and gaming journalist work to concentrate on.

And you're totally right about the bolded.
 
I probably shouldn't be sharing this as the secret might get out, but the last 3 successful times I've initiated conversation and began to date someone, this has worked. Granted, it'll only work on females who are at least 5% gamers - basically, ladies who have at least played the Sims and Mario Kart.

I'll use some variation of the line "You look like a girl who makes sure that she is the first and only one to pick Yoshi in Mario Kart."

And damn it to hell, it works. She'll instantly surrender a big, goofy smile and immediately warm up to me - I've never had a 'pick-up' line that has worked like this one. Try it for yourselves, male GAFers.
 
What do you guys think is better...

1) A partner that shares your interests

2) A partner that does not, but understands that you have yours

3)
Passive Aggressive relationship with a dash of hatesex
 
What do you guys think is better...

1) A partner that shares your interests

2) A partner that does not, but understands that you have yours

3)
Passive Aggressive relationship with a dash of hatesex

1

I totally get the whole, if she has different interests the two of you can discover new stuff, but eventually you'll end up having understood everything about her and then you're better of if you share your interests imho.

Long-term relationship-wise.
 
What do you guys think is better...

1) A partner that shares your interests

2) A partner that does not, but understands that you have yours

3)
Passive Aggressive relationship with a dash of hatesex

Ideally it's basically: compatible worldviews, complimentary interests, mutual respect, and passionate sex.
 
Besides, she'll probably be incredible in bed.

Have you fucked her yet? Experienced sexual partners are so much fun.

Oh, we had sex almost right from the start. And agreed. The sex has been incredible, and why I also prefer being with someone who knows what they're doing vs. someone inexperienced (who, in my experience, makes a for a boring partner in bed). Which makes it all the more confusing -- that I want someone who is sexually active, but at the same time, don't want them to have had sex with others?

You are insecure about something probably. Hard to tell what it's about though. If it has a serious impact on the relationship, maybe talk to a professional?
My last significant relationship (lasted a year) ended with the girl cheating on me (with a friend of a friend) then dumping me via text. It was also not the first time a girlfriend had left me for someone I know. Could be that?
 
So the girl I am interested in accepted two out of three of my invitations out right! Very happy about that, but they are all events consisting of several people, so I still have a ways to go before I can get her on a date...if I can manage to get that far.

So far I've only met her twice, and both times I really failed to make an impression on her, or even give the impression that I was interested in her at all...played it too "cool". I really need to be on the top of my game next time...we seem to have a lot in common musically, but she's so damn cool that its almost intimidating to me...she plays guitar really well and was the lead vocalist of her band until it broke up recently. On top of that she is damn cute.

Anyone got any general advice on how to make a good impression on that kind of girl?
 
My last significant relationship (lasted a year) ended with the girl cheating on me (with a friend of a friend) then dumping me via text. It was also not the first time a girlfriend had left me for someone I know. Could be that?
Could be. I don't know why, because I'm no psychologist, but it's interesting how fast you went for that explanation (or any specific explanation). Think about it some more :)
 
I mean 1 just sounds a lot easier in the long run. Then again, you can complement each other on different things if you go with 2. I think 1 is best though.
 
But im sure the majority of girls worry about money first. :(

This isn't true. Having money is an attractive quality definitely, but it's only one of many attractive qualities. In the short term the most important quality is your confidence, in the long term it is your integrity.
 
Not sure where else to put this, so here goes.

Had sex with Lu. As the name suggests, Asain. So I was expecting tight. But she was really tight. Took me five tries to get it in. Nearly went limp in the process.

Right from the beginning I could tell she was in pain. She's short in stature, 5' 0". She's 27 years old. She said I was big, where in reality I'm about average. So I went really, really, really slow. Stopping every few seconds. After a few minutes I asked her if she wanted to stop. She said yes. So we stopped, and there was blood. I asked if she was a virgin, and she said no. She said it was because she hadn't had sex in a long time.

Is this normal? Will it happen again the next time we do it? Either way, I'm using lots of lube next time...

Will it also be easier to get it in next time? Last thing I want to do is get limp before we start (always a big fear of mine).
 
Could be. I don't know why, because I'm no psychologist, but it's interesting how fast you went for that explanation (or any specific explanation). Think about it some more :)

Well it was kind of a shitty thing that happened and it was only about a year ago, so it's not like it's ever too far out of my mind when I'm dealing with women now.
 
Not sure where else to put this, so here goes.

Had sex with Lu. As the name suggests, Asain. So I was expecting tight. But she was really tight. Took me five tries to get it in. Nearly went limp in the process.

Right from the beginning I could tell she was in pain. She's short in stature, 5' 0". She's 27 years old. She said I was big, where in reality I'm about average. So I went really, really, really slow. Stopping every few seconds. After a few minutes I asked her if she wanted to stop. She said yes. So we stopped, and there was blood. I asked if she was a virgin, and she said no. She said it was because she hadn't had sex in a long time.

Is this normal? Will it happen again the next time we do it? Either way, I'm using lots of lube next time...

Will it also be easier to get it in next time? Last thing I want to do is get limp before we start (always a big fear of mine).

I had to break up with a girl like this. The expressions on her face were so unerotic it was sickening. I like to feel mighty and huge and whatever, but not like I am murdering you.
 
I had to break up with a girl like this. The expressions on her face were so unerotic it was sickening. I like to feel mighty and huge and whatever, but not like I am murdering you.

Yeah. I couldn't even get a rhythm going. I would push in slowly. Wait five seconds. Push out slowly. Wait 10 seconds. Rinse and repeat.

I think part of the problem is she had very little natural lubricant. Unsure why. Which is why I mentioned using lots of lube next time.
 
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