The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Well the Antitype is sure as mature as you could assume from his previous posts.
yeah and never simply accept it to be your fate either. I got trapped in that line of thinking for a long time. Hell, not even getting intimate with a woman got rid of that mind prison, as crazy as it sounds.I remember myself thinking that 19 years is too late, lol.
it's never too late, folks.
Well the Antitype is sure as mature as you could assume from his previous posts.
Well the Antitype is sure as mature as you could assume from his previous posts.
Posting her photos for everyone to "judge" is probably the weirdest part. She put them online of course but I don't think she had this in mind.Pretty much.
Posting her photos for everyone to "judge" is probably the weirdest part. She put them online of course but I don't think she had this in mind.
Glad to hear itHis channel seems alright too. And I agree, I didn't get a single tip on birds and bees growing up, so this is definitely something I intend to pass on. My children won't have the same youth as I did.
And honestly having a meltdown at each rejection? Yeah some people are douchebags, welcome to earth. If you're confident and a decent bloke why even bother with the meltdown and posting her on a forum for members to circle jerk about how much of an asshole she probably is and you're better off. I don't know her. I don't presume to know what was said or what's going on in her life that she decided to stop talking to antitype. I suggest just moving on and spending your time positively, by finding new connections. All this focusing on how someone else failed you is missing the point, especially since you are the common denominator.
*general you
Very true. I recently found a girl online that I've seen at the local clubs and she's shown interest irl (to my surprise, out of my league and all that crap) but after a two poorly written word reply to my message, she's clearly been ignoring me. I'm not upset over it, she showed her true colors and better I find out sooner rather than laterAnd honestly having a meltdown at each rejection? Yeah some people are douchebags, welcome to earth. If you're confident and a decent bloke why even bother with the meltdown and posting her on a forum for members to circle jerk about how much of an asshole she probably is and you're better off. I don't know her. I don't presume to know what was said or what's going on in her life that she decided to stop talking to antitype. I suggest just moving on and spending your time positively, by finding new connections. All this focusing on how someone else failed you is missing the point, especially since you are the common denominator.
*general you
He obviously phrased it like that to make an impact and put on a good show and didn't mean anything hurtful with it but I get what you're talking about. Glad to see people liked itI mean...the advice he gives is definitely angled more toward the man ("fuck her" and so forth), but he's encouraging men to literally give women what they want and saying things like 50/50 is the way to be, which is pretty much the advice echoed on this thread (most of the time).
It's gold, and it's not even dirty gold.
Very true. I recently found a girl online that I've seen at the local clubs and she's shown interest irl (to my surprise, out of my league and all that crap) but after a two poorly written word reply to my message, she's clearly been ignoring me. I'm not upset over it, she showed her true colors and better I find out sooner rather than later
He obviously phrased it like that to make an impact and put on a good show and didn't mean anything hurtful with it but I get what you're talking about. Glad to see people liked itHe'll be on Brent Smith's live stream on Sunday to answer questions.
The golden rule that one must follow ondating sitesdating is to not take things personal even if you exchange a few messages you barely know them.
While I disagree with his method, I don't think we should be bashing on The Antitype for what he did. This particular thread should be a place where people can feel free from being judged and criticized over whatever issues they have.
Yes, what he did was quite wrong. I think Antitype should delete the pics of the girl and leave it at that.
I object to this part, partially. You can want a relationship, but if you go to a girl thinking you want that relationship before you know her very well, that's a mistake. Cart before the horse.
But the things a relationship has, coming home to someone, cuddles, sharing a bed, family, all that security is something a person can want. Not everyone wants a life of fucking around and hanging out with friends.
Well at 28 it's hard to think of it anything other than an impossible task. And not just the getting laid part. I get what your saying though.It was literally only hard in my head. You too will see when you get it. I had friends tell me and I didn't believe it until I actually got laid. It will really change your mind on what all of it is like.
Minamu said:As much as the virgins complain about it, it really isn't such a big deal. I used to think the same way, most of us probably did, and I've smacked myself silly since then over how much I cared about it. Saying it isn't a big deal isn't going to help anyone not fret over it though. Some things you gotta realize on your own, it seems.
It's incorrectly used as a way to save face or soften a blow psychologically "oh she was fake anyway so she was in the wrong".Something that I don't understand, why is the phrase 'showed her/his true colors' used so frequently. The phrase just is odd to me in the context its frequently used in.
Actually, it doesn't. At least not in my case. I got laid for the first time last year, and then a couple of times more. This year I'm back to square one, having zero female friends, feeling pretty down and 100% certain I'll never be with another girl.It was literally only hard in my head. You too will see when you get it. I had friends tell me and I didn't believe it until I actually got laid. It will really change your mind on what all of it is like.
Can't say I've noticed this. I meant it in a screening process sort of way I suppose. She didn't pass my filters for what I'm looking for (except being drop dead gorgeous but so what) and I apparently didn't pass hers either. It's no big dealSomething that I don't understand, why is the phrase 'showed her/his true colors' used so frequently in this thread? We're not talking about people who you folks are already in a relationship with who suddenly decided they didn't want to date you. We're talking about strangers for the most part who simply aren't responding to your messages. I don't know if thats showing true colors as much as its just not responding to messages. Sorry, the phrase just is odd to me in the context its frequently used in.
I think high school and college is where you have the most chance of finding a girl. But in high school i never really got any attention anyway. And i never went to college.
I don't get women... I was going out with this chick, it was all fine, then suddenly she just stops replying to my messages.
Wtf, she could at least tell me wtf happened...
I think high school and college is where you have the most chance of finding a girl.
stepping one foot outside will always be your most chance at finding somebody.... get all this garbage out of your head
yeah, sure but, it's kinda true.....college really is the most conducive environment on earth for meeting women. :/
Few months back, my girlfriend came on skype crying, sobbing, telling me that her male friend, who will be named "Martin", touched her, tried having sex. She was drinking, and she made out with him, but didn't have sex.
I supported her, helped her, forgave her.
Just last night, our mutual friend tells me she really did have sex with Martin. She told our friend because she "didn't want to ruin our relationship" - that's why she didn't tell me she had no sex with this Martin.
I'm pissed I had to find out this way, that she couldn't show loyalty, and respect.
I talked to my girlfriend for hours last night, told her I forgave her.
- - Long distant relationship. We were together for a month, not one mention of this guy. She goes back to her city and continues to see this guy when I am not around.
Makes me feel sometimes she will drop me, and have this backup boyfriend.
What's laughable about this is, as I was finding out this information, she was out playing pool with Martin last night.
She swears she will never see him again, and that she loves me.
- Oh, and I am on the verge of making a life choice of moving out to her country, dropping everything I have to be with her. Friends, family, my job, everything.
I forgave her, want to be with her. I love my girlfriend but I still question it, and have an upset stomach.
Everything was going perfect. My family loves her, had this plan of moving to be with her,)still doing it, but christ sakes.)
I will bring this up to her again today. Just wanted to see GAF's responses, if I get any.
sorry I'm frustrated, on my lunch break, and I have to work a few more hours, and talk with her. this is on my mind and it sucks :/
Thank you all for your replys and thoughts. GAF always helps.
I talked to her today, I forgave her. She says she wont talk or hang out with "Martin" anymore.
All day it felt like I had baggage left over, stomach having a tight knot in it, shacking, weak - even though I forgave her for what she did.
I am fully committed to leaving everything behind and being with her.
I won't get to see her again for 3 months from today. She says we'll get through it together, but man, I don't know if I can take much more.
Thank you all for your replys and thoughts. GAF always helps.
I talked to her today, I forgave her. She says she wont talk or hang out with "Martin" anymore.
All day it felt like I had baggage left over, stomach having a tight knot in it, shacking, weak - even though I forgave her for what she did.
That feeling is gone now. I do have images of her and this guy in my head and it's sickening.. It's hard for me to even picture her holding hands with another man. How do I stop this? Just keep talking to her, remember the times we had, and our future together?
I am fully committed to leaving everything behind and being with her.
I won't get to see her again for 3 months from today. She says we'll get through it together, but man, I don't know if I can take much more.
DO NOT MOVE HOUSE TO BE WITH THIS WOMAN OMG FOR CHRIST'S SAKE THINK ABOUT THIS WITH YOUR BIG HEAD
Thank you all for your replys and thoughts. GAF always helps.
I talked to her today, I forgave her. She says she wont talk or hang out with "Martin" anymore.
All day it felt like I had baggage left over, stomach having a tight knot in it, shacking, weak - even though I forgave her for what she did.
That feeling is gone now. I do have images of her and this guy in my head and it's sickening.. It's hard for me to even picture her holding hands with another man. How do I stop this? Just keep talking to her, remember the times we had, and our future together?
I am fully committed to leaving everything behind and being with her.
I won't get to see her again for 3 months from today. She says we'll get through it together, but man, I don't know if I can take much more.
Thank you all for your replys and thoughts. GAF always helps.
I talked to her today, I forgave her. She says she wont talk or hang out with "Martin" anymore.
All day it felt like I had baggage left over, stomach having a tight knot in it, shacking, weak - even though I forgave her for what she did.
That feeling is gone now. I do have images of her and this guy in my head and it's sickening.. It's hard for me to even picture her holding hands with another man. How do I stop this? Just keep talking to her, remember the times we had, and our future together?
I am fully committed to leaving everything behind and being with her.
I won't get to see her again for 3 months from today. She says we'll get through it together, but man, I don't know if I can take much more.
Know what she learned from this? That she can cheat on you and be forgiven. Good luck with that. And you're going to move to another country to be with her? Oy vey...
He needs an oxygen mask when he makes it to the top of the pedestal.
Psh, that isn't happening... getting to the top, that is.
He needs an oxygen mask when he makes it to the top of the pedestal.
If he took another step he'd be on the moon.
Thank you all for your replys and thoughts. GAF always helps.
I talked to her today, I forgave her. She says she wont talk or hang out with "Martin" anymore.
All day it felt like I had baggage left over, stomach having a tight knot in it, shacking, weak - even though I forgave her for what she did.
That feeling is gone now. I do have images of her and this guy in my head and it's sickening.. It's hard for me to even picture her holding hands with another man. How do I stop this? Just keep talking to her, remember the times we had, and our future together?
I am fully committed to leaving everything behind and being with her.
I won't get to see her again for 3 months from today. She says we'll get through it together, but man, I don't know if I can take much more.
And dropping her won't be easy, but if you're struggling with the mental image of her holding hands with another man, wait until you start picturing her with a mouth full of Martin.
Well the Antitype is sure as mature as you could assume from his previous posts.
Well at 28 it's hard to think of it anything other than an impossible task. And not just the getting laid part. I get what your saying though.
There's conflicting views about this. One that was told to me was that after i get it im going to be wondering what the hell have i been been doing all this time.
Samething with sex in general. Some say it's overrated, others say is amazing.
Actually, it doesn't. At least not in my case. I got laid for the first time last year, and then a couple of times more. This year I'm back to square one, having zero female friends, feeling pretty down and 100% certain I'll never be with another girl.
I agree that it may change your mind, or point of view or whatever for a while, specially during the time when your sexual life is active. But spend a couple of months or a year not having any contact with women (outside of your family), and you'll forget what that feelings were like.
I don't get women... I was going out with this chick, it was all fine, then suddenly she just stops replying to my messages.
Wtf, she could at least tell me wtf happened...
Turns out one of the girls I've been talking to for a couple of days was a fraud trying to set up a friend with blind dates. And I was actually getting kinda hooked on this one. But who was I getting hooked on? Not sure what to think right now.
Regarding messages, if a girl doesn't reply once, I'm done.
I'll leave it to her to get back to me with 'my phone was broken' or whatever but if this is a couple of days later then I still can't be bothered anymore tbh.
I thought I was being a little harsh but ehhh life's too short.
If I'm interested in somebody then I'm anticipating their every message and can't wait to reply. If they're not the same way then fuck it.
I wish it was as easy as you say, I really do. I'm shy as fuck, and find it difficult to start talking to new people, specially women. I don't know how to start a conversation, what to talk about, what to say and what not, how to avoid being a fool, and that kind of things.For me it was like flipping a coin. Well, not so quickly. But within <1 year I went from 'it will never ever ever happen for me' to getting it and getting it again.
Everyone goes back to square one, you did it before and you can do it again. Why should you view it negatively?
Yeah in my case I built up a large base very quickly. I have a lot of close female friends, some girls I dated and a few that were always in relationships as long as I knew them. So even though I had a gap where I didn't have sex for 3 months (after my last sexual relationship ended, and I decided to get the full STD test anyways) I never ever thought it'd 'never happen again', that just doesn't make sense. And yeah I'm back in it now. Try to think about it rationally, don't let your negativity take over.
So if I were to suggest anything to you I'd recommend making female friends, that way you don't get too rusty. Meet lots and lots of girls.
I wish it was as easy as you say, I really do. I'm shy as fuck, and find it difficult to start talking to new people, specially women. I don't know how to start a conversation, what to talk about, what to say and what not, how to avoid being a fool, and that kind of things.
I think that one of the reasons I currently feel this way is because last year was my best when it came to social life. I met a group of really cool and nice people, including the girl I ended up sleeping with, and had a great time for a while. But this year all that is gone: the guys don't talk to me anymore (never found out why), I got really angry with the girl for a couple of reasons and decided to never talk to her again, and I almost never see my high school friends because they are pretty busy nowadays. It depresses me to think how low I have fallen when comparing today to the past year. And that makes me even less motivated to go and meet people, and further increases my negativity.
Aaaah, this sucks. I'm stuck fighting off the part of me that wants to believe this thing is going to fall apart, even though things went well on Sunday. The problem is, I have nothing that indicates that things are going to take a turn for the worse (the two of us are still texting at a pretty regular rate, a few times a day), so I don't know what could be causing it. Any advice besides "Take your mind off that and don't worry," GAF?
I mean, realistically, things do fall apart often. I think it may be helpful to somehow temper your hopes. I don't mean get depressed, but realize you just met this person and don't put so much stock in her if things go good or bad. Try to realize there are other girls out there.
I know I feel happier the less I emotionally invest in any singular person (not having been in an official relationship yet).
Otherwise you're just going to have to take your mind off it, because even if you have lots of sex and you get in a relationship and get married things aren't going to be changed, really.
Realize there's more to your life than this one person.
Yes, you're right. Negativity and depression doesn't take you anywhere. Don't know how or where I'll find those people, but I shouldn't give up, or think I'll always be like this. And yes, there's always something new to learn, from experience and all that. Thank you for your advice, I'll try and make good use of itWell you're going to have to just cut off the negative cycle then. Because people will drop out of your life, but you could be putting new people in your life too. You learn conversations and all that stuff by experience. You have to get out there and 'do', not just think about it. It doesn't have to be as scary as you make it out to be.
Find people in multiple groups and keep adding people to your life until you really really don't need any more.
Yeah, you want to make progress, but didn't you grow as a person when you went through all that? This is the most important point.