Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
I don't know how he puts on pants by himself.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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Ah good, more insults. Clearly great advice.
Anyway, as someone who already does the first and third, and has done it regularly for years, I'm not exactly sure how that builds "confidence," at least int he way that it would necessarily attract others of the opposite sex in itself.
No you're right, I have already said that I do that regularly.
Positivity!
Yes.
Yes.
No.
I guess.
Not really.
I don't think you're in a position to be demaning people to get banned.
All people are confident, a lot of people just don't know they are, or have forgotten how to be it due to society and/or traumatic life events.
What I want to know is, why is that so damn important? It's clear to me that many in here think this stuff is WAY more important than it is or should be. We've been taught all our lives that this stuff is the most important thing in life, but it's not true. If being able to get laid or attract women is overly important, you're not thinking straight. That's social programming thinking for you.
Count Dookkake
Member
You guys have to stop crying if you want to be attractive to anyone other than nutbags.
I know it is difficult. I used to be a virginal tub-o-guts myself and would complain about the unfairness of it all. But that's the joke: it is unfair. Have your final boo-hoo and get to the gym, the library and the charity of your choice.
You will get better and you will find you have less to cry about.
And you might even get laid, but you won't be so hungry.
I know it is difficult. I used to be a virginal tub-o-guts myself and would complain about the unfairness of it all. But that's the joke: it is unfair. Have your final boo-hoo and get to the gym, the library and the charity of your choice.
You will get better and you will find you have less to cry about.
And you might even get laid, but you won't be so hungry.
Bucket-o-roadkill
Member
Izick, would you say you're depressed? I just found it interesting that you said you have no major goal in your life, do you have any interests, stuff you enjoy doing? When I get down, I get fed up about being single and just sit there looking at a shelf full of games and I just cant be bothered to play anything. No motivation, no interest in doing stuff I once enjoyed. It was at that point I just got on my bike and cycled..... on and on and on, I got back and felt so much fucking better. I totally recommend it!
And here come the butthurt who realise their useless advice isn't worth shit.
There is no argument to be had here, there are people who absolutely do not understand the importance of the advice being given to them, they might think they do, but they absolutely do not. Otherwise there wouldn't be a problem. It took me three years of going to the gym, reading fitness books and health articles to develop the mindset I have and that's just the surface. Bear in mind that this is accompanied by my A Level knowledge of Biology and Chemistry and degree level Chemistry. I absolutely did not just 'know' the importance of what I am preaching.
You do not 'know' this stuff, you learn it, and you learn it by doing it through theory and experiment.
Reply of the generation.
so fix your "no" and "not really" and ask some girl how is your wardrobe, what can be changed for the better and so on. Thus a few things happen:
-your "I guess" will transform to either "yes" or "no"
-you will have a valid reason to strike a conversation with a girl
-you will learn how to talk with girls by striking neutral conversations.
So here is your roadmap, go on, do eeeeit.
Atramental
Banned
Okay then.
So if you read more, got a better wardrobe, and committed to something do you think you'd finally become confident with yourself?
I don't know, I guess I haven't felt exactly great these past 4 months or so. I've had some medical things, which have been constantly worried me. Work or entertainment usually helps in distracting myself from it, but it never really leaves my mind. I don't know. Before all this happened to me, I wasn't a positive person to begin with though I guess.
I'm in school now, so I guess maybe that's why I don't really have any goals. I mean, what kind of goals can anyone in school have?
do you mean junior high? or am I missing something?
I mean, I don't think it's bad or offensive. I usually just like wear some jeans and a shirt or something. In the winter it's usually jeans and a jacket.
Question: When you guys say, "read more," do you like mean stuff I'll learn something from or something more akin to "classic literature" or something? You don't mean like general reading like fucking Stephen King or something, right?
Also, like I said, I don't think I have a bad wardrobe, it's nothing amazing, but it looks good I think. I usually wear jeans, a shirt, or if it's colder out a jacket. It's nothing eye-catching, but it's nothing offensive to the eyes.
Youch. College.
These have been suggested time and time again in this thread. I get your point, though.
The thing is, people who are in the vicious cycle of no confidence and not fucking doing something need to break out. The two feed each other; they are intimately connected. Perhaps some people respond better by making an action their first step; studies have shown that we often learn about ourselves and form emotional states from how we behaved in the past. Others might respond to the catalyst of a positive disposition and start to pick up these healthy practices. But in the end, they are so dependent on each other that it's hard to separate being confident and taking action in your life.
This has nothing to do with confidence. Seriously, dressing "cool", "trendy", "hip" or "how a girl tells you to" won't give you confidence. It's obstacles you've surmonted that will boost it, decisions and situations you dealt with, not eating fruits and vegetables or working out daily.
To gain confidence, you need to face yourself, not to run from it by "posing" with random shit you have no interests in.
lol, it doesn't matter, it's still not "YES" so you need to ask some girl on advice how to improve your wardrobe.
People usually find their purpose during college years so you should be searching at least. And may be talk to some girl about searching your purpose.
Kung Fu Grip
Banned
Actually it's not.
Yes i think i'll be going to an escort. I didn't want my first time to be like this but nothing is happening and hasn't been for years. It's easy to tell someone why they shouldn't do it, and they should do this and that. But at the end of the day you're not me. If you guys were in my position im sure you would be thinking about doing the same thing. When have most of you lost your virginity? 16?
And it's not a lable guys like me are trying to lose. We're just fucking horny like every other man. Jerking off sucks and i don't do it anymore. I feel like complete shit afterwards.
Bucket-o-roadkill
Member
Totally, like a snow ball effect, I've been stuck in it myself. Exercise is a great way to combat this, I regularly exercise now and feel so much better. I'm still not where I want to be, BUT compared to that feeling of having no confidence and having no motivation to do anything about it.. Man. Its a long way.
In two years I've met (and lost, DOH) the girl of my dreams, been on dates with over 20 different women, I may not have come out the end of the tunnel yet, but its way more exciting than just sitting on my ass deciding what games I'm not going to play this evening.
Atramental
Banned
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Izick is so stubborn normally, but he's quick to latch on to anyone that's perpetuating his own poisoned thoughts. I get bummed when I think of this dude.
Positivity!
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
You're saying the thing again that that other dude affirmed as cool for you to say. If it helps you feel better and actually make something of yourself, go for it. Be the best Izick possible at my expense.
No, I said it again because for all this talk of "positivity" and the like, while all you are doing is insulting me by first asking how I'm intelligent enough to put pants on by myself because I couldn't understand the abstract concept of simply just gaining more of an emotion, and now that you get "bummed out" when thinking of me because I'm pathetic. These things don't sound really positive, in fact, one may even say that they sound, dare I say negative!
Practice what you preach is all.
Dressing to expectations is not fulfilling in itself, no. But developing a sense of style that has you looking in the mirror and saying, "I look damn good. I am putting my best self out there." will do wonders. Other people thinking you have good style is a very, very nice side effect, but it's not the goal.
Obviously, doing so isn't easy. It will take time, money, and a lot of looking back and thinking, "Why did I buy/wear that?" And some people get by in life without ever finding "their" look or even "a" look, sure. I do know, though, that for me, it was a good way to build a better me and went along with a number of other changes.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
I'm positive about myself. I don't have to be positive about you. I'm not sure anyone here is positive about you after this months-long pity party. You shoot down every gesture of goodwill and faith anyone shows in you.
Count Dookkake
Member
Why? He already gave up on himself.
Feeling like shit after jerking it doesn't sound very healthy, now does it? I'd say it wouldn't be fair to the prostitute OR to an ordinary girl if you have sex with them when you're down in this poisonous rut of yours. Stop thinking about getting laid, sounds to me like that's what's holding you back, strangely enough. Yes, a lot of virgins think like you do, and they shouldn't but it's really hard not to, we all know that, many people including myself have been there. I got a pity fuck at 21 and it basically turned into a major emotional shitstorm and I wouldn't do it again. I got a temporary confidence boost from it but it didn't last long and I was back at square zero, not even one, and stayed there for many years more. So don't insult those who are trying to help you by thinking you're a special snowflake because you sure aren't. YOU MAKE BEING A VIRGIN A BIG DEAL, NO ONE ELSE.
old but good
*click* *save as*
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
Holy fuckin krist this generation's young people sure are a bunch of whiners.
Kung Fu Grip
Banned
Feeling that way cause thats the only you can off after all these years is pretty normal i think. Im not in any rut. Im actually in a better mood than the one i was in a few weeks ago. Got me a haircut and some new clothes. Didn't seem to do anything though. But who cares. I know it ain't my fault.
Wanting to get laid is not holding me back.
EDIT- Who did i insult? If it came out that way, sorry.
Pollux
Member
So to get back to the actual topic of discussion in this thread...
Met a girl on Friday and we made plans to meet up tomorrow and have drinks...I said I would call her tomorrow to finalize plans...the only problem is that I have class all day tomorrow right up to when I would have to leave to meet her.
My question...Would it be OK to text her today saying "are we still on for tomorrow?" or should I just text tomorrow? Is a text OK in this situation or should I call...if I should call should I do it today?
Met a girl on Friday and we made plans to meet up tomorrow and have drinks...I said I would call her tomorrow to finalize plans...the only problem is that I have class all day tomorrow right up to when I would have to leave to meet her.
My question...Would it be OK to text her today saying "are we still on for tomorrow?" or should I just text tomorrow? Is a text OK in this situation or should I call...if I should call should I do it today?
Why not just text her and say something along the lines of another night being better for you since you're having a busy day. I'm sure she'll understand. Suggest a night that will be a definite for you though, don't leave it open for her to decide the day if you have to be the one to initiate rescheduling.
Pollux
Member
I don't have to reschedule, I just don't have time to call to finalize plans. We were supposed to meet around 430 tomorrow...I have class/work until 4 and won't be able to be on my phone until 4. I think 4 is too late to finalize plans for a meet up at 430.
So I was saying even though I told her I would call Monday, would texting her today be fine?
Why not call her now? This is totally up to you if you feel like you need to wait another day, even thought you explicitly said to her you'd call on Monday. You can't find five minutes to quickly call between classes though?
I feel a text would be fine too though. The point is that you want to confirm -- some how -- and that's good of you to be doing that.
So there's this girl who's pretty much been my best friend for a few years that I took to Prom least year (Junior Year of High School; my school is so small that we combine our Senior and Junior dances into one) and well, we won Prom prince and princess. Sweet right? I got this thing in the bag. Then I realized, I can't ask her out. Here's why:
1. I've got a ton of shit to do senior year, wouldn't have time to treat her the way I'd like to treat her.
2. My parents don't want me dating or going out too much (Asian) so they're obviously going to get suspicious if I hang out with this chick too much.
3. I can't drive.
You might be thinking, "Bro, you're just making excuses for yourself." Nope, I've only had one girlfriend and it didn't end well because she kept complaining that I couldn't do the things other boyfriends did with their girls. So I guess that kinda scarred me a little. Oddly enough, I broke up with her.
So yeah, I realized I couldn't ask her out, but man did I still really like her. She's cute, smart, and is on the same wavelength with me all the time.
Then summer came, and I hung out with her a bit more. For some reason, I wanted to keep this happy medium of not being boyfriend and girlfriend, but still being able to hang out and have fun.
Then, she got a boyfriend.
Because of this, it was weird for the both of us to hang out since a girl hanging out with a straight male friend is always suspicious. So we stopped hanging out too much.
Then, school came around.
We were able to hang out a lot more since we had the same classes and free periods, but her boyfriend is in those classes too. Then, things started getting weird from my perspective.
One free period, her boyfriend was in one room while I was heading out. Suddenly she gets up and ask if she can go with me. I check the look on her boyfriend's face and he has that jealous face and says [jokingly], "Oh, I get it, you wanna go with [Mariolee] instead of me. I see how it is!!!"
We laugh and I invite him to come along with us, but he declines. So whatever, no big deal. Then as we walk she keeps talking about how she doesn't get along with her boyfriend, and how he's "hardcore conservative" and she's super liberal and whatnot. Then she says she sometimes gets along better with his little brother than she does with him. After this, she's been sitting with me almost as much as she's been sitting with him, and now she's been texting me and calling me "boo".
Basically, GAF, does she see me at this point as the gay best friend or does she secretly like me?
1. I've got a ton of shit to do senior year, wouldn't have time to treat her the way I'd like to treat her.
2. My parents don't want me dating or going out too much (Asian) so they're obviously going to get suspicious if I hang out with this chick too much.
3. I can't drive.
You might be thinking, "Bro, you're just making excuses for yourself." Nope, I've only had one girlfriend and it didn't end well because she kept complaining that I couldn't do the things other boyfriends did with their girls. So I guess that kinda scarred me a little. Oddly enough, I broke up with her.
So yeah, I realized I couldn't ask her out, but man did I still really like her. She's cute, smart, and is on the same wavelength with me all the time.
Then summer came, and I hung out with her a bit more. For some reason, I wanted to keep this happy medium of not being boyfriend and girlfriend, but still being able to hang out and have fun.
Then, she got a boyfriend.
Because of this, it was weird for the both of us to hang out since a girl hanging out with a straight male friend is always suspicious. So we stopped hanging out too much.
Then, school came around.
We were able to hang out a lot more since we had the same classes and free periods, but her boyfriend is in those classes too. Then, things started getting weird from my perspective.
One free period, her boyfriend was in one room while I was heading out. Suddenly she gets up and ask if she can go with me. I check the look on her boyfriend's face and he has that jealous face and says [jokingly], "Oh, I get it, you wanna go with [Mariolee] instead of me. I see how it is!!!"
We laugh and I invite him to come along with us, but he declines. So whatever, no big deal. Then as we walk she keeps talking about how she doesn't get along with her boyfriend, and how he's "hardcore conservative" and she's super liberal and whatnot. Then she says she sometimes gets along better with his little brother than she does with him. After this, she's been sitting with me almost as much as she's been sitting with him, and now she's been texting me and calling me "boo".
Basically, GAF, does she see me at this point as the gay best friend or does she secretly like me?
could be both but I think she likes you.
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
Does it matter? She'll be just as disappointed with you when she realizes how conservative (not just politically) you are too.
Just do it if that's all that can be done. Say "Super busy, can't call, but I'll be there at 4:30 k?" See if she answers.
Pollux
Member
Well I shot her a text about 20 minutes ago asking if we were still on for tomorrow...just waiting to hear back now.
Kung Fu Grip
Banned
Confidence to me is being happy and not being afraid in anything that you do. Which i lack sometimes.
Being sure of things too. These things are easy to sense on someone.
Devolution
Member
Rename thread to Pity Party Girl-Age Edition.
"Who dares wins" sums up "confidence" prety well.
Facing yourself, rejection (if it's about a girl), challenges, overcoming difficulties, and much more.
I always saw this as major insecurity from the boyfriend. One of my closest friends is a taken woman. When she was in school (he was hundred miles away), he never complain about the amount of time we hung out together.
I see it as happiness from within. You don't give a flying fuck if someone rejects you. And going for the goal regardless of any hurdles you gotta go through.
I said my parents were conservative. I lean slightly more to the left.
What? Yes it is.
It's not a normal thing if you're in your 50s+ but it's pretty goddamn normal for folks our age.
Devolution
Member
The fuck am I reading in here? It's normal till you're fucking dead.
Kung Fu Grip
Banned
lol. You guys are funny.
Believe it or not ALOT of people, male and female, don't have a healthy sex life. If one at all. Just because your doing it doesn't mean everyone else is.
Believe it or not ALOT of people, male and female, don't have a healthy sex life. If one at all. Just because your doing it doesn't mean everyone else is.
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